I Wonder If I Argue Too Much…

Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.

Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).

When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.

When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.

But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).

The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.

To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.

The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.

I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.

I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.

I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.

It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?

Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Macklemore Calls Out Pharmaceuticals

I have seen, many times, people who refuse to go to doctors or take medication unless necessary, called freaks. They have been blamed for wanting to be in pain, wanting to be sick, and in some very sad severe cases, wanting to kill their own family and children.

I’m a person that doesn’t believe in going to the doctor unless I absolutely need to. I’m a person that doesn’t believe in taking medication unless I absolutely have to. I don’t believe in NEVER going to a  doctor. I do believe they have their time and place, but that time and place is when absolute necessary.

See, the thing is that I spent a lot of time at the doctor’s and at the hospital as a child. We were sick a lot, always on some form of medication, and quite frankly, I got sick of it.

Not only did I get sick of it, but I also began questioning things, part of which led me to veganism. I know there is an increase of sin in the world, but it did not make sense to me at all that Christians were called to spread the message of God’s love throughout the world, but that our bodies would be constantly plagued with every illness going around.

Another thing that inspired me was the simple fact that there are people who seem to hardly get sick! What were they doing that I wasn’t? Was it really just that I had no immune system left?

What I discovered, through veganism and thoughtful reflection/prayer was that the way we treat our bodies is the way our body treats us. If we feed it absolute crap food, our body cannot be expected to defend us. Just as a bricklayer knows that you have to have quality product to build a strong house, we need quality food to build up our bodies. I kid you not, there are some vegans who have not been sick in years! Did they somehow live in a bubble and avoid the outside world? Absolutely not! Vegans are known for being out in the world, fighting for animal rights. But they’ve treated their bodies well with the healthiest food, plenty of water and sleep, and exercise, the building blocks of a healthy body.

All to often, we do not credit our bodies with the ability it was designed with to save us from sickness. When treated properly, our bodies really can fight off the germs and bacterias around us. But we have to build that ability up as described above.

So what happens when people don’t believe in their bodies and don’t take care of themselves? Hi ho, hi ho, off to the doctor we go.

Here is my problem with going to the doctor. Most doctors get kickbacks from selling pharmaceutical drugs. Most doctors feel so overwhelmed that they cannot spend the appropriate amount of time to properly diagnose you and give you a healthier treatment. Most doctors do not even get nutrition training, and thus will feel inadequate about giving nutrition advice. Most doctors know that patients want quick remedies. Unfortunately, what most patients don’t understand, is that these drugs are usually treating symptoms, and not the actual problem.

The other danger of most of these pharmaceutical drugs is the side effects and addictions they cause. I shake my head when I see commercials for different pills, and the side effects list takes up half of the commercial. Why are we consuming something so dangerous? And not only that, think of the huge drug market for the addicting drugs. Think of people coming off of these drug addictions. I’ve seen it first hand. My step sister ended up jumping off a bridge because she couldn’t handle her life anymore. I’ve seen her scream bloody murder while being drug away by the police because she just needed one more drink after she finally broke away from drugs but replaced her addiction with alcohol. I saw her weeping in complete devastation when her drug dealing boyfriend was banging his head against the wall and cutting his wrists. I’ve seen her begging outside of grocery stores, and caring about her daily methadone shot more than her own children. Yes, this can be street drugs too, but a lot of addictions start from pharmaceutical addictions. Once you can no longer obtain your addiction, it’s just a matter of finding something else to fill its place. It’s a vicious cycle.

I know, I know, some people may call me delusional, I’ve been called many things for my beliefs before. But if you don’t want to believe me, or do the research I’ve done, then maybe you’ll listen to someone who also has caught on to this misled, multi-billion industry. Here is Macklemore’s song, Kevin, a stand against the world’s pharmaceutical companies.

So what do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Life Update: School, Veganism, Gym, Dogs, Neighbour, New Car, My Niece

It has been so long since I’ve written, and I am so very sorry. Life has a way of getting away from you, that’s for sure!

There are so many things to cover in my update, but I will try to keep them short!

School

The school year started in a rush. I still wasn’t settled in my new position of grade 2 teacher (I’ve been in grade 6 for 4 years). I wasn’t able to move into my classroom officially until the day before school started. So it was a whirlwind of a set-up and start to the year. Books didn’t come in on time, I wasn’t able to go through all of my resources during the summer because everything was boxed to move and then my classroom had work done. What a crazy, crazy start to the year.

Fast forward to now, and I finally feel settled in. Of course, it’s a new curriculum, and teaching grade 2 is nothing like teaching grade 6, but I appreciate it now. I am so much busier than I was in grade 6, I never have a spare minute for anything, but I like my new place and I love my students, so I am happy for the change.

Veganism

I’m still a vegan. However, with the crazy start to the year, the deadlines and all of that teacher-related stuff, my diet became one of convenience. I buy the pre-made vegan pizzas and all of that pre-made junk. I have gained way too much weight just for convenience. I hate it. I don’t like the way I look. I hate that my clothes are tight. I hate the way I even feel after eating the junk. I’m in the transition to a much better vegan diet. I’m cleaning it up by going back to more veggies and fruit, trying to get in one juice every morning. I just feel better when my food is fresh and I am in control of all the additives that is in my food. Fresh is best people!

Gym

My husband and I fell off the gym wagon. We just didn’t go when we should have, we got lazy, we just didn’t do what was good. So, this past week I’ve start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. I did buy 2 ellipticals (used), but I don’t have room in my house yet (working on it!). So I still drive to the gym in the mornings to do 20 minutes of cardio. I then sneak in the afternoon/evening to the gym to do weight lifting. Unfortunately, that means I don’t really workout with my husband so much anymore, but he is not a morning person, and quite frankly, I do so much better in the mornings. So this is what works!

Dogs

I’m still dreaming of a yard that my dogs can play in. We haven’t moved yet. But a friend of mine introduced me to a part of one of our city’s parks that has an off-leash dog area! My dogs bark so much at others at first, but the more we go, the better they do. The last time, they would barely look at dogs while they were walking past them. I’m so proud and it’s so good for them to get their energy out with the freedom of being off leash. I love it. I’m not sure what we’re going to do when winter hits (since their legs are so tiny), but we will have to figure out something.

Neighbour

It’s been awhile since I posted about neighbour issues, but a long time ago, our neighbour caused us to send 2 of our dogs to live with my family. They said the dogs were barking too much (on a day I was home), and all that wonderful jazz. Recently, my neighbour has been very helpful. When people were trying to break into my husband’s truck one night, she called the police. She warned me about people stealing things out of vehicles, she congratulated me on my new vehicle, and we’ve had some decent conversations. I think my neighbour has warmed up to me! Which is awesome! I actually enjoy having my neighbours now!

New Car

So, with the problem my car was having (anytime it was put in reverse, it accelerated and would almost run into the neighbour’s place or whatever was behind me), it was time to get a safer, new vehicle. I have loved the Mazda CX-5 for years, and so we went to see that first. I absolutely LOVED it and ended up getting it right away. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have a nice, safe, good vehicle. I am thankful every time I drive it.

My Niece

I’m so excited to announce that my sister gave birth 2 days ago to my niece! I am so smitten, totally in love, and wishing flights were cheaper so I could fly home to see her in person. I’ve been so excited as this is my first biological niece, my father’s first biological grandchild, my one grandmother’s first biological great grandchild, my other grandmother’s first great granddaughter, my step dad and mom’s first grandchild, etc… It’s such a special child and everyone got to be there! Ah! I’m so happy, I can’t even tell you. The second I get to see her, I’m not going to let her go!

Life Vs. Death: What Would You Choose?

Yesterday, at our school’s staff meeting, we had a representative from Alberta Health come in to discuss allergies and anaphylactic shock. Of course, this came with training on how to use an Epi-Pen.

Growing up, my sister had extensive allergies. She always had one Epi-Pen at school and one at home or rather near her at all times. It was a no-brainer that she needed it incase something did happen. It wasn’t even a choice. She always had 2.

You would think that all families would treat this issue the same. But unfortunately, working in a school has shown me otherwise. Some parents will not buy their sons and daughters Epi-Pens. This boggles my mind. A school is a place where so many children come from so many homes carrying so many different items. Sometimes, people will develop the allergies. So even if they had no idea they were allergic to something before, they could come into contact with something later in life that they have an anaphylactic shock to because they have developed an allergy to it. You never know.

Now, we do have a Peanut-Free environment at our school that we enforce. But we cannot control what children were in contact with before they came to school. So it’s a very hard thing to ever make 100% sure.

So, here’s the deal. For the parents who refuse to buy Epi-Pens, we aren’t supposed to give their children a generic one if they need it even if we have it. We could get in a lot of trouble. We cannot administer medication that does not have their name on it.

So let me ask you this: Do you sit by and potentially watch the child die while the paramedics are stuck in a traffic jam or somewhere further away in the city? Because you’re not supposed to drive them to the hospital yourself either. How do you do that?

The decision basically boils down to this:
#1: Do the legal thing and don’t give the child the generic Epi-Pen you have on hand. Best-case scenario, the child is able to make it long enough for the ambulance to QUICKLY get there and handle it from there. Worst-case scenario, the ambulance cannot get there quick enough and you watch the child struggle for each mini-breath and die.
#2: Risk getting fired/sued by the family, but at least know that you did what you could to save that child’s life by administering the generic Epi-Pen you have on hand. It could literally save a child’s life; that’s what they are made for.

I am really interested in hearing what you would do. It’s a tough situation. Leave your answer in the comments below!

Fat Loss Pills – Let’s Get Serious!

Ok. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before, but that doesn’t stop the convincing ads you see in magazines and on tv, and that surely doesn’t stop people from buying them. So I’m going to talk about them one more time, and explain my experience with the last weight loss pills I tried.

Why am I against weight loss pills? Simply because they don’t work. Diuretics may work, but that is simply causing you to lose water weight, not actual fat. There are some carb blocking pills and hunger reducing pills, but why are you starving your body of the nutrients it needs? People end up spending way too much money on these “miracle pills” only to end up wasting their money because they simply don’t work.

Now, there are also very expensive, powerful weight loss pills that can work, but I will tell you one thing for certain: it is going to be very hard on your body!

My sister bought one of these very powerful weight loss pills, and she ended up having consistent nightmares and barely being able to sleep. The pills were just short of giving her hallucinations. Definitely not a good sign.

I bought a weight loss pill from the states (I’ve tried many brands before), but these were supposed to be powerful enough that you can only take one capsule a day. You know what the pills did? I didn’t lose weight. Instead, my throat burned like a hole was forming in it. It didn’t matter if I took the pill with food, or what I drank with it, this one simple pill a day was strong enough to burn my throat and irritate me for the full day. I even tried taking it every other day. But same results. I didn’t even finish the bottle.

So ladies and gentlemen, before you go out and buy all of these weight loss supplements and fat loss pills, please just consider that healthy and balanced eating mixed with some type of exercise each day is the healthiest way to go. No pill is going to be healthy for you, and it’s definitely not going to do the job that healthy eating and exercise can do. Put in the work and be proud of the body you create. Don’t harm it out of desperation to look a certain way. There are enough things in this world that harm us already.

Holding Grudges is Dangerous

Have you had any experience with holding grudges? Perhaps you have, or perhaps you know someone who has. Either way, maybe you’ll relate to some of the things I’ve known and experienced from the dangers of holding grudges.

I don’t know why it started, but I can remember the first time I stopped holding grudges. I was fairly young. My sister had done something I was extremely mad about (can’t remember for the life of me what it was!). I sat in a very grumpy mood, refusing to talk to her and just being miserable.

We were heading across the border from New Brunswick to Maine (typical thing for NBers to do to get things cheaper since it’s so close), and I somehow just knew that being miserable was going to get me nowhere. So in my head, I said, “This is enough. This is done. Get over yourself and just be happy and nice again.” And I did. That simple. And I’ve tried to keep up the same thing every time for the rest of my life. Holding grudges is just not something I do.

Grudges are dangerous. Here are some reasons why:

#1: You become miserable. Not just to the people you’re holding the grudge against, but also to everyone else. Keep this up long enough, and you’ll eventually find yourself miserably lonely. The misery will not stop.

#2: You’re really damaging yourself. Stress is one of the number one killers. It causes so many diseases and health conditions. You aren’t actually getting back at the other person, you’re damaging yourself. So realistically, this is pointless.

#3: It truly damages your relationships. Nobody likes a complainer. Nobody likes miserable people. And as many of us know, the words that come out of your mouth can NEVER – I repeat – NEVER take that back. Even if someone can forgive you, it doesn’t mean they forget. Be careful of the daggers that shoot out of your mouth because one day, you may completely regret what you’ve done.

#4: Half of the time, honestly, they aren’t that big of a deal. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people hold grudges over the tiniest of things. I mean, really? Sure, be mad about it at first, but get over it. Think of the long run. Think of tomorrow and what if you wake up but the other person doesn’t. Will you be happy with the way you left things? It’s a very serious question.

#5: Sometimes grudges are brought on from misplaced anger. Are you really mad about the one thing, or is there something else that is driving the reason behind why you’re upset? It’s something to really consider.

Anyways, those are my 5 reasons that I’ve come to know why grudges are simply terrible. Can you think of anymore? Leave it in the comments below!

Sometimes Your Special Belongings Weren’t Meant to be Yours

Today was primarily a cleaning day. Not of my house, but my classroom. Seriously… you’d think a teacher’s job could be easily conquered and finished right after school’s out, right? Wrong! I’m still not done.

Anyways, I was looking for some cleaning clothing to wear, and decided on jeans and this brown shirt my husband gave me awhile back. On it states, “One Classroom At A Time.” The shirt is actually from a group with a mission of building classrooms in foreign countries, particularly those that have low support of female education, as well as low education ratings overall. It got me thinking about a shirt I once had…

During Christmas Break of my grade 12 year, my sister and I, as well as our youth group went on a mission trip to Peru. We were going to complete a church project, as well as sightsee a little while we were there. We spent months packing little gifts to give to the locals, fundraising, and creating a team name/logo. We called ourselves TYMES (Today’s Youth Missionaries of Edmonton South), and we were fortunate to have a graphic designer as one of our leaders who created these fantastic shirts. It was the only time that name would be used.

Of course we were all very fond of our shirts and took them with us to Peru. We loved our time working on the church and playing with the local children. In fact, we may have gotten in trouble for playing too much… But these kids were the happiest kids. They lived in cardboard lean-tos, knowing they could be kicked off the land at any time. And for the whole community of cardboard living spaces, the children had one ball. That’s it. No extra toys, just one ball. I couldn’t believe it. Rows and rows and rows of these cardboard things, so many children, and one ball. Even the sand had garbage and feces and hair mixed in with it, but these kids still smiled. Wow… that took me a few steps back… You really have no idea how lucky you are until you see firsthand what a third world environment is truly like.

The last day came of our time in this area. The church was completed, and we were attending the very first service with the locals. Of course, our neighbourhood children were there too, sitting on our laps, and just happy for a secure shelter over their heads. Saying goodbye to them was hard. They worked with us, sang with us, played with us, and even taught us a little Spanish. Thankfully, we were able to create big smiles with stickers, pencils, notebooks, lollipops, and little toys. But what really mattered was the extra we decided to give.

I don’t remember who started it, but I’m thinking it wasn’t me. Somebody in our group gave his/her shirt to one of the kids. As I said before, a shirt we were fond of, that would never be printed again. But I knew in that moment, that as special as that shirt was to me, it would mean so much more to these children. Yes, because they were poor and a new, good quality shirt would be wonderful to them, but also because they would always be able to remember the people who came and brought them gifts, even though we had no idea who they were.

It was then that I realized the truth: Everything in this world shall pass. God tells us so. We won’t be taking that shirt to Heaven. I won’t be taking my diamond rings to Heaven. Everything in this life will not be going to Heaven (objects… let me clarify!), but for the time we are here, we can make the most of what we have. Sometimes it will hurt out pride, absolutely. Sometimes, we may never get another chance at whatever item we give away. Sometimes, it may not even change a person’s life like we may have thought it would, but we can only do the best we can with what we have and what we know.

I don’t know if giving my shirt away made a world of difference in the child’s life. I have no idea. But I do know that at that moment, the smile and laughter and hugs I got in return were all that I needed to know for sure my shirt was going to the right place.

Sometimes It’s Good To Take A Trip Down Memory Lane

I have this box that I keep cards in. These are cards that I’ve received from Christmas, from birthdays, from students, from my wedding, from my engagement, etc… There are so many cards in there. I actually was beginning to wonder if I should throw some of them out. But since I’m me, and I always do things thoroughly, I took them out one-by-one to read through them.

I couldn’t throw any of them out. Those cards are filled with so many memories.

There are cards from past students who reminded me what an amazing teacher I was, and that they were sad I had to leave. There were even cards of apologies for things they knew they had done but wanted to do better. The cards asked me not to forget the students who created them. How could I?

There are cards from big moments in my life and memories of the people I shared it with. Well wishes, and in-depth personal moments of advice from these big moments, celebrations with close family and friends, and large milestones marked in history with people I loved around me. I can’t forget those.

There are cards that wanted to make me cry because they are from people who I will no longer have the opportunity to receive anything from again. My step sister who sent a few cards over the years, but whose last signature I have from the Christmas before she took her life. And my step great grandmother whose last signature I will bear from my wedding. I couldn’t even stand to think of getting rid of those because those are the little pieces of them that I have left.

I have meaningful cards from people who are no longer a part of my life. Some due to unfortunate situations, and some due to the stupid fact that all adults warn you about: After school, people separate. You spend so many years of your life building relationships with people day in and day out, and yet when the responsibility of adulthood calls you to different places, those relationships often begin to dissipate. Sometimes being an adult isn’t all it’s kicked up to be.

These cards represent major parts of my life, people who have been cheering for me all along, and people who have cheered with me at least part of the way. I can’t give up this stuff. I needed that trip through Memory Lane, and I recommend one for you too. It will make you smile, it will make you laugh, it may even make you cry. But the one big thing it does well is to remind you of where you came from and who was there with you along the way. Those memories are something nobody can take from you; they are yours to keep.

As always, hold your loved ones tightly and never let them go. Life is simply too short, so make sure you let the people who matter to you most know that they are loved.

Why the Name “Christian” Can Cause Such Anger

I’ve delayed in writing this blog post. The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. Not because I’m cleaning up my classroom, preparing for a new grade, but because the world has changed ever so quickly, and I needed to make sure my own emotions were not mixing and leading my thoughts but that rather my beliefs were the driving force behind my words.

When I decided I wanted to turn vegan, I thought what better place to learn than to join vegan groups on Facebook where people are continuously discussing ways of doing things better and on improving lifestyles. What better place would you get a mix of people who are starting out in their vegan adventure, as well as though who are tried and true veterans to the lifestyle. I did enjoy these facts, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, I don’t know how you could have missed it), but the states have just legalized same sex marriage. To some people it’s no surprise, to some people it’s a reason to lash out, and to some people it’s a reason to celebrate. I was prepared for those reactions. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anger backing people’s responses. And it took a few days for me to truly understand what was going on.

Unfortunately, one of my vegan groups posted about this legalization and stated that you will never find a “homophobe vegan”. A man simply stated (though not in words I would have used) that he was not a “phobe” by the meaning of the word “phobia” as in being scared. He simply was using Biblical pieces to back-up the point that he did not support the movement. The backlash he received was incredible. And as I noticed he was the only one defending his beliefs, I decided to try and approach the conversation in a loving but understanding way. You see, I’ve noticed people are very quick to criticize Christian beliefs as being old and not modern day. But I knew that this is often because Christians have made a bad name for themselves.

I once saw a conversation where Christians were attacking an atheist. I could see where her comments and attacks were coming from. I couldn’t stand Christians reacting in this kind of way so I entered the conversation as well and simply responded to her questions and comments in a loving, non-judgemental way. It took quite awhile, but believe it or not, she thanked me for talking to her the way I did and explaining things the way I had. Of course she assured me she wouldn’t become Christian anytime soon, but that wasn’t the point of my discussion. The basis of my discussion was love.

So I figured that maybe if love was presented the right way in this vegan conversation, then maybe the hatred I was seeing would dissipate and the group could go back to the original purpose of becoming vegan and standing for animal rights. However, I’m sad to say it did not work that way. No matter how many times I reassured that none of the Christians in the conversation weren’t hating them nor judging them (all 2 of us), they served critique after critique back. No matter how many times I assured them that Christians should be focused on loving and loving all people, hate was served back. No matter how much love I tried to show about loving people but not supporting decisions they make, I was not supported. I even told them that the God of the world, Himself, has given us the power to choose what we do, regardless if we choose sin or not, and thus everyone in the world should have the power to choose what they want without anybody telling them otherwise, I was still considered judgemental. I brought up how I have a great uncle who has been a married gay my whole life and how I love him dearly and will never treat him otherwise, but that I do not support his lifestyle, I was still considered a “homophobe”. I was called a jerk, ingenious, told to take a nap, told I have mental sickness, that somehow someone loved me but in the same sentence told me everything I am is a sin, that God was going to send me to hell to burn for eternity, etc. And I was reminded again and again how listening to a 2000 year old book is so wrong.

I was not prepared for the hardness of hearts I was presented with. This is why I did not write this blog when I first thought of it. In fact, it’s been sitting as a tab for the past however many days since the law was passed. I’ve changed the name 3 times. I needed time to sort through what was going on, and to make sure my emotions were in check. And now I think I’m ready to help explain where I think things have gone wrong.

There happens to be a girl many years younger than I who was feeling the same way I was – being attacked by so many people, being pushed with no rest, exhausted from having to defend herself. The message came clearly in her Facebook post and the response from someone questioning the selection of beliefs, specifically pertaining to the lack of support on the same sex marriage issue.

I really thought about it before I posted this time, and I provided a very prominent issue among different Christians about the “clean” and “unclean” foods. I stated it as the fact that many Christians don’t support eating pork. Some claim that because it is an Old Testament law, that we no longer have to follow that distinction. Although many Christians disagree on this issue, we don’t hate our own family members just because they eat differently than ourselves. The best way to influence anyone in a positive way is through a loving manner. I also added that I grew up as a hunter’s daughter. When I turned vegetarian, my grandfather was convinced I would die. In fact, for the almost 10 years I was vegetarian, the very first question he would ask me is if I was healthy and had gone back to eating meat yet. The amount he would try to sneak meat onto my plate was crazy. He did not support my eating habits whatsoever. But he never stopped loving me. In fact, I can’t recall a day in my life where I did not feel loved by my grandfather, and that’s the way it should be.

To go a little further than that, she said she was going to put it bluntly and ask how same sex relationships is one law we believe from the Old Testament, but there were a host of others such as wearing jewelry, having tattoos, and premarital sex were things most Christians don’t follow anymore, yet we can choose to not stand for the same sex marriage issue.

This is where it truly sank in. The reason I believe that most people are so angry with Christians and our beliefs is because we have compromised on so much! Seriously, look around at your churches. I know for a fact that people drink, do drugs, party, have non-marrital sex with people regardless of being married or not, have problems with pornography, steal, cheat people out of money, etc, etc… There are people in almost every church who are the kings and queens of gossip. Churches are seen as judgemental because they’ve become that way. What have we done to ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying that all churches or even all people are this way. I do believe we have the sweetest, loving Christians still on this earth, and unfortunately that’s something we desperately need more of. But when Christians in themselves are out in the world claiming to be Christian and yet are caught in such horrible acts, what else is the world to think of us? Can you really blame people for hosting anger when they grew up in a church but like my sister, left because people were judging the clothing she wore? Do you really think that made her feel at home rather than winning her over with love? Personally, I’m ashamed at some of the things we’ve done to people. We should be opening our doors and welcoming, not just greeting, but truly welcoming people into our midst with the goal of letting love take over. When Jesus saved the prostitute, or sat with the tax collectors, you don’t see Him attacking them. He loved them and that’s what created the difference. Why can’t we do the same?

Of course I’m not saying we should kick out all of the people who are having problems either. What better place to receive help with healing than a church family, as long as we are being just that – a loving and supportive family.

Now, I know my beliefs may differ from yours, and that’s ok. Like I said, I have no judgement. The Bible, unfortunately, is not the most easily understood book at times, and some is left to our interpretation though hopefully somewhat unfolded with divine help (always pray before reading the Bible!). So yes, topics like jewelry and tattoos are a little more difficult to defend for some. However, I know the Bible clearly points out that our bodies are the living temples for the Holy Spirit, and we are to take care of them to the best of our abilities. Putting needles unnecessarily into my body, causing a stain that God did not put there in the first place that is ridiculous to remove, and putting holes all over my body does not seem like preserving the “holy temple” as God stated it. To me, that is clear enough definition as to why those are not the best idea. Jewelry that does not require holes (such as necklaces, rings, and bracelets) are a little more in the grey area. However, if you look at history, you will see that only the rich, and those who placed themselves above others wore jewelry. So at the time, it made total sense that jewelry was a way to separate the classes of people, and as far as I’ve read in my Bible, God doesn’t view us that way, nor does He want us to develop an attitude of being better than others. So to me, that makes sense. When it comes to premarital sex, it’s a no-brainer to me. You don’t need a Bible to tell you it’s not the best idea. Look up science reports and the reactions in the brain with sex. Look up psychology reports. The more sex you have before marriage, the less you are bringing to your marriage. Imagine if everything was brand new coming into your marriage. No past relationships to discuss, no past comparisons to make, nothing bad to bring into your forever relationship. I think in a way, we’ve lost sight of how sacred and special marriage was supposed to be. It was a union, a joining of two people. And in Mark 10:9, it states clearly, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” We say vows, vows that are actually supposed to mean something. God blessed the union between husband and wife and specifically said that NO MAN (that means nobody on this earth) should be able to separate that union. I don’t know about you, but there are an awful lot of divorces going on. A lot of “man” separating what God told us not to. And that’s in the New Testament, not even the old.

Again, I hope you are not taking offence to this. I am the product of a divorced family who married other divorced people. Divorce is around me, and although I love my family more dearly than anything, I will fight with all I have to preserve my marriage union because I believe that is what is right. (I may continue this conversation at another time. It’s a whole separate Bible study.)

So those are my thoughts. I’m not sure if Christians will ever recover. If we’re going to stand for our beliefs, we need to learn not to compromise. No, it’s not easy being criticized. If anything, becoming vegan has opened my eyes to a whole new way of being criticized (not enough protein, not losing weight fast enough, not going to be healthy, etc…). But if you truly believe in something and seek to receive the rewards at the end, then you need to stand for whatever it is. But remember to stand in a loving way. Hate is fuel to the fire, but love (usually) softens the hardest of hearts. So speak to and treat each other in love, regardless of what a person chooses, but stay strong to yourself and don’t compromise on the beliefs you hold. Nobody in this world has the right to force their beliefs on people. But rather, keep an open ear and seek to find the Truth, and once you have the Truth, hold on to it. As humans, we are master justifiers, master liars, and master convincers. Don’t let someone talk you out of being yourself and believing what you’ve sought to be true.

For another pastor’s perspective, I found this to be a good, well-written, loving read with Biblical back-up.
http://todaychristian.net/a-detailed-explanation-of-why-christians-dont-accept-gay-marriage/

When I Realized My Grandfather Really Wasn’t Coming Back

Something happened today that really jarred my memory and brought me to write this post. I saw the following picture on Facebook and it got me thinking about my grandfather.

It took me right back to the moments where I can remember thinking about him and instantly started crying. Even now writing this, I can feel the water filling up in my eyes. I know many of you will say that you have/had an awesome grandfather to, but I’d like to take a minute to tell you about mine, and how special he truly was.

I guess it starts when my mother became pregnant with me. My parents were not married. I guess my grandfather liked my dad, but he was very upset about the whole situation and didn’t talk to my mother for days. However, being the man that he was, he still bought her a crib and everything she would need for me, even though he wasn’t talking to her. He was always that way, taking care of things even when he was upset.

Of course, as soon as I was born, he was completely smitten. My mother is a child of two, but lived very much a single child’s life. She never met her brother as he died on a surgery table a few months after he was born. That meant, I was the first and only grandchild.

My parents didn’t stay together very long. They did get married after I was born, but separated when I was about 4, officially divorcing when I was around 5. Where do you think we went back to? My grandparents. In fact, their home was very much “home base” my entire life.

My grandfather always spoiled me (and later my other siblings). I have pictures where my toys barely fit in the picture with me. My father told me that I would get tired of opening gifts because there were simply so many. I had this 6″+ man wrapped around my tiny finger. There’s no denying he loved me.

My grandfather was a used car salesman. In fact, it was my mother’s company that he worked for her since she dropped out of college to be home with me. The company was even named after my sister and I. But eventually he took over the company and changed its name since he did become the only one running the business.

I used to love visiting him at his office. My grandmother and I would get lunches for him, he would let me sit in his office chair, I would be called his “Number 1 Dudette”, and I loved the fact that everywhere we went, people always knew and respected my grandfather, and thus treated me as if I was a special person. I had never met anyone who didn’t know or like my grandfather.

If you could imagine the biggest realistic playground in the world, that would be my grandfather’s car lot. He gave me access to all the keys and vehicles in his lot. I can still remember the amount of fun we had pretending to drive the cars, and especially in exploring the only RV I remember him having. Only once did he ask me to backup a truck into a corner spot. My mother sat in the passenger seat with me, and I remember learning really quick to use my mirrors. I was so scared I would mess up his vehicles in this tight spot. But I did it! I still can’t believe he trusted me…

If I could compare him to anything, it would very much be the godfather. I’m not joking when I say that everyone seemed to know who he was. He was an amazing man when he was happy, but he was always a man you feared when he was unhappy. I don’t remember him every getting mad at me, but it was a general rule that when he came home, the remote control to the television had to be in the right spot for him to lay on the couch and watch what he wanted. He became upset if the remote went missing. There were just certain things you knew not to do.

Sometimes, my grandmother and him would fight. I’m sure there’s not a couple in the world who has not at least had one argument. Sometimes, or maybe more than sometimes, this meant he would stay at his office for the night. It was a conveniently built, small building that contained 3 rooms and a tiny hallway. One room was “the office”. The second room was of course a washroom. And the third room was his bedroom. It contained only a tv, a bed, and a mini fridge. It pretty much had everything he needed if he needed a night away. So it was a fairly normal occurrence for him not to come home sometimes.

The best thing about my grandfather was that he was always there for us. There was a time when we didn’t have the most money, and work was slow. My grandfather always provided what we needed, and then some. Most of you know that I have moved like 20 times with my family, not including on my own. The one person who was always there, regardless of where we were, was my grandfather. He never missed an opportunity to come and stay with us. (Of course I should say my grandmother always came with him as well, but I will dedicate a post to her another day.) He was honestly one of the biggest constants in my life.

When my family made the official decision to move from the east coast to the west coast, my grandparents offered to bring my sister and I out at the end of summer so that we could spend the extra time with our father. It was a fair bit of a long drive, but even then my grandfather trusted me with reading the map (before GPS systems). I almost think his belief in me helped me grow to the independent woman I am today. I have a lot to credit him for.

They stayed with us at our new place for a few days. Early in the morning, him and I would get up and drive to a hotel or another homey restaurant to eat. He was not a chain-restaurant type of person. Even back in the town he worked, he had one particular restaurant he preferred to eat at, and everybody knew his specials and what he enjoyed eating. He always preferred the homestyle cooking. In fact, he met my grandmother while she was waitressing at such a type of restaurant. My family and I have visited that restaurant a few times and imagined what it must have been like. They still have the juke boxes and the old stools. Sometimes it’s nice to preserve history rather than to embrace change.

We then took a trip to the “big city” so my grandparents could see it before they left. We had a lot of fun. At one point, we lost my grandfather in the big mall. I’ll never forget him driving around on those motorized scooters for people who can’t walk well. He had even gotten an orange smoothie and I guess spilled it all over the machine. If you knew my grandfather like I did, you would picture him using colourful language for the time he was mad, then acting like nothing ever happened.

I don’t remember how we ever found him, but I can tell you it was one of the hardest good-byes of my life.This wasn’t just moving a few hours away, this was a four day drive across the country. Of course they would come visit again, but the visits would never be as frequent as before. What I didn’t know was that my tears would get worse before they ever got better.

Literally two or three days after we returned to our new home, I got a call from my grandmother. It sounded like her for sure, but something was a little different. She asked to speak to my mom pretty much right away, so I gave my mom the phone and sat on the landing of the stairs. My mother took the phone into her room which was at the top of the stairs. The next words I heard told me pretty much everything I didn’t want to hear. She said, as she began crying, “Oh Mom!”.

My grandparents had been involved in a car accident on their journey home. An impatient driver went in their lane to pass a semi-truck and didn’t see my grandparents van coming at them. My grandmother was in the hospital, a little bruised but otherwise ok (she would later need nose surgery to correct the alignment). My grandparents’ friend who was helping them drive home had so many broken bones, including ribs and shoulder, and would also need counselling for what happened (he was driving at the time – completely not his fault). But my grandfather didn’t make it.The speed they were traveling on the highway, and the impact of a completely head-on hit left the vehicle in shambles and took my grandfather with it.

Immediately, we packed and drove back to the city. I thankfully had a great aunt and uncle who lived just outside the limits and welcomingly invited us in until we could all make arrangements to fly home. My mother was able to fly right away to be with my grandmother, but there were 4 more of us to fly, and we had to wait for a cheaper ticket to afford it.

It was so strange when I got home. Being in my grandparents house seemed so normal. I mean, I was only at my “new home” for less than a week. I had no attachments to it and didn’t even have to act like it was supposed to be my new home. I had come home and it felt like life should be normal again.

I know I cried a few times, but I remember just having the attitude and thoughts of “My grandfather is just at his office, staying the night like he usually does. Sometime he’ll come home.”

I still remember it as clear as yesterday: My mother and I were sitting in the living room, on separate couches, not talking much as we didn’t for a while, and her saying the exact same thing that I felt – that Grampy was just at his office and sometime he would come home. And it hit us right then that we had to realize it was wasn’t true, that Grampy really wasn’t coming back. I broke down (just like I am again now) because he was always there, for everything! How could he not come back this time! How could the one stable thing in my life not come back! It was so hard to accept.

Sitting in his house, seeing all of his old stuff, going to his office, it was all so hard to do when you realize the person who has always been there for you, the person who has loved you your whole life was suddenly gone. My nickname would never be used again, except when telling stories of him. My promise from him of giving me my first car would never come true. My life was drastically left with an empty hole that I’m not sure was ever filled again. Nobody could take his place, and I could never have been prepared for that instant change in time.

Life is not fair, and it never will be. The devil is waiting for any opportunity to attack and make a mess of things. He knows which strings to pull and he knows how to make things hurt you more than anyone else. He knows he can damage us and take away everything that means the world to us, which is why it’s so important to turn to God when you’re hurting, to let Him hold you and tell you that everything is going to be ok, because one day, it will. One day, when Jesus returns and we are taken to Heaven with Him, there will not be anymore pain, there will not be anymore death, there will not be anymore tears. I don’t know what my grandfather’s relationship with Christ was like. I know he sort of had a falling out at one point, but he insisted my mom make sure she took us to church. So I only hope and pray that he had a good relationship with God, because it would be so nice to run into those loving arms I miss so dearly, the loving arms that were missing during both of my graduations and my wedding, the loving arms that were taken away from me way too soon.

I miss this man more than anything, and truly just thinking of how much I miss him brings me to tears almost instantly. Hold your loved ones close and make sure you let them know how important they are to you. You never know which instant will take them away.