Holding Grudges is Dangerous

Have you had any experience with holding grudges? Perhaps you have, or perhaps you know someone who has. Either way, maybe you’ll relate to some of the things I’ve known and experienced from the dangers of holding grudges.

I don’t know why it started, but I can remember the first time I stopped holding grudges. I was fairly young. My sister had done something I was extremely mad about (can’t remember for the life of me what it was!). I sat in a very grumpy mood, refusing to talk to her and just being miserable.

We were heading across the border from New Brunswick to Maine (typical thing for NBers to do to get things cheaper since it’s so close), and I somehow just knew that being miserable was going to get me nowhere. So in my head, I said, “This is enough. This is done. Get over yourself and just be happy and nice again.” And I did. That simple. And I’ve tried to keep up the same thing every time for the rest of my life. Holding grudges is just not something I do.

Grudges are dangerous. Here are some reasons why:

#1: You become miserable. Not just to the people you’re holding the grudge against, but also to everyone else. Keep this up long enough, and you’ll eventually find yourself miserably lonely. The misery will not stop.

#2: You’re really damaging yourself. Stress is one of the number one killers. It causes so many diseases and health conditions. You aren’t actually getting back at the other person, you’re damaging yourself. So realistically, this is pointless.

#3: It truly damages your relationships. Nobody likes a complainer. Nobody likes miserable people. And as many of us know, the words that come out of your mouth can NEVER – I repeat – NEVER take that back. Even if someone can forgive you, it doesn’t mean they forget. Be careful of the daggers that shoot out of your mouth because one day, you may completely regret what you’ve done.

#4: Half of the time, honestly, they aren’t that big of a deal. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people hold grudges over the tiniest of things. I mean, really? Sure, be mad about it at first, but get over it. Think of the long run. Think of tomorrow and what if you wake up but the other person doesn’t. Will you be happy with the way you left things? It’s a very serious question.

#5: Sometimes grudges are brought on from misplaced anger. Are you really mad about the one thing, or is there something else that is driving the reason behind why you’re upset? It’s something to really consider.

Anyways, those are my 5 reasons that I’ve come to know why grudges are simply terrible. Can you think of anymore? Leave it in the comments below!

Week 2 Day 3 : A Hard Day

For the first time EVER, I woke up at 4:30 and went straight to the gym! I completed my circuit training and was able to make it home in time to help my husband get ready for work as well as do some laundry and take care of our animals while still getting ready and making it to work on time! What a morning! I also took delight in cooking and eating my breakfast at home, something that rarely if ever happens.

Of course, once I made it to school, I realized the pit in my stomach. My Jewel was leaving today. I was filled with sadness, anger, and several different emotions. I really am trying to stay positive about my neighbours, but I really have little good to say.

The day turned into an incredibly long day. I was at work from 7:30-6:20 in meetings and not accomplishing half of what I needed to. I estimate there are at least 5-7 hours worth of grading waiting to be done and huge paperwork deadlines for the end of the month that I have not had time to do.

Of course with the longer hours, I did not have enough meals with me to fill that time span and I was extremely hungry and tired.

I then became quickly stressed as I knew we were meeting my dad, my sister, and her boyfriend for her birthday supper and also so that my dad could take my baby. The only bad news is I couldn’t get ahold of my husband who was supposed to be coming with me. It was a couple hours before I could reach him.

I ended up packing up the dogs myself, and drove in my car to the restaurant, noticing along the way that I had forgotten some items Jewel needed for the flight and having to make a pitstop.

I was the last one to arrive, and we put the dogs in my husband’s truck with the windows down as people have a habit on calling Animal Patrol on all people, especially with dogs in the vehicle regardless of how they are prepped. In my husband’s tall truck, it is less likely people will climb it to see in the windows.

Supper was good, the food was excellent. I ordered a salad as you can always pick and choose the toppings: get a good chicken breast for protein, a couple nuts for fat, lots of greens and other veggies, and I also had quinoa on my salad for that extra carby protein. The salad was excellent!

We had a good time, but when it came time to say good-bye, I had a hard time. My baby was leaving and this was it. We took pictures, I went through thorough instructions, and did all that I could to say good-bye.

On the ride home, I went alone. My husband had the dogs with him in his truck, and I wept driving in my car. I began reflecting on life and how it seemed such a mess. I thought about how my husband and I are living in a city that we both don’t like, beside unfortunate neighbours, and things seem to be getting ripped away from us without us having any control. We’re both not happy where we are, as busy as we are, with the rules we have to face. The only thing in my life that seems to be somewhat controlled is my diet and the gym. That honestly is all I have control of. The government restricts my husband from school over a paper they refuse to admit they lost. The government restricts me from my babies that I never planned on having but have adapted and made my own sacrifices in order to keep and take good care of them. Those higher than me in my career control the amount of meetings and extracurricular activities I must do which take up more time than I would like to allow with no financial compensation. My husband’s job is controlled by the journeymen he works with and has to work the hours they set out each day. We are stuck in a city where jobs are more abundant to ensure that our bills can be paid since my husband cannot advance in his career without the government papers and thus needs a company that can take him on for now. Everything about my life seems to be controlled by someone or something else. I’m stuck. I’m a mess. The one thing I have is the gym.

And so even though it was late when we got home, we unloaded the dogs, sat for a minute, and went to the gym. The man at the desk recognized me from earlier that morning when he was ending his night shift and mentioned how shocked he was to see me twice in less than 24 hours. I smiled and continued to walk. The gym is the one thing people cannot take away from me. And so my cardio became complete; 12 minutes of HIIT on the stairclimber. And the day was done.