Every once in awhile, I believe God allows things to happen to direct me to what I need to do/hear. Last night was one of those times. I was driving from a friend’s house to go home (actually, I was … Continue reading
Have you ever felt the pressure to answer the question, “How are you?” with “I’m ok”? Have you ever felt like giving any less of an answer, regardless of what you’re actually feeling, would just be a burden to society? … Continue reading
Journal:
I woke up today uncomfortable just as I had assumed I would last night. I had too much in my stomach and my body just didn’t like it. However, I was productive this morning with work, not so much with getting breakfast.
I packed the rest of last night’s soup to take with me today, as well as a box of strawberries and some dates. However, all I had the chance to eat today was the soup which was nowhere on the Summer Days of Fruitrition after having it for supper last night. It also is just not as rich as it could have been had the mangoes actually been ripe. So what ended up happening? I fell apart when I came home. Instead of making my raw foods (and also the frustration of finding out that the fridge froze my lettuce), I went to what was easy: Hummus and this Indian cracker stuff. And that’s what I ate. Tons of it. And to add to the awful food I was eating, I ate some vegan ice cream that has been sitting in the freezer for over two months. I HAVE TO find a way to get in more food during the day. My job is just not the greatest at allowing that to happen.
I made it through work fine today and simply continued working at home. I also watched 3 documentaries tonight: Prescription Thugs, Fed Up, and Food Matters. They are wonderful documentaries and I highly recommend them!
While I was watching these documentaries, I also worked on some hip flexor stretches and exercises. It doesn’t hurt badly at this point, but I can definitely tell when I’m using it and when I’m not. So the rehabilitation continues.
Review of Symptoms:
-Acne is still bad.
-Woke up with an uncomfortable stomach.
-Energy was decent.
-Hair is not good. Ugh… Regressing slightly thanks to bad foods…
-Need to eat more throughout the day.
-Hip Flexor seems to be holding up through exercises and stretches.
Weight at the end of the day =Â 169 lbs (same as yesterday)
Total Calories =Â 1835 (59% carbs, 35% fat, 6% protein… awful macros)
Journal:
I wasn’t as prepared for today as I wanted to be. I was exhausted, my stomach was hurting a lot from having junk food two days in a row, I didn’t sleep very much because I had so much to do, and I didn’t even prep my grapes for today. However, after reviewing the whole diet plan again, I decided the best place to start again was with the grapes breakfast because the only two breakfasts that are left include persimmons (of which mine are not ripe yet), or a smoothie of which I had no time to blend. So I chose to do Day 1 today, packed some grapes, spinach and bananas, and went off to school.
I got to eat breakfast around 10:00 am as my students were outside at recess which gave me some time.
In the afternoon, I was not able to make my smoothie because our school kitchen is not set up for me to do so at the moment as a lot of people have been using it. So, this meant that I ate a banana instead to tide me over. It’s still on the meal plan, just whole instead of blended. It was a way better option than eating more junk again today. I am breaking away from the bad habits I’ve developed in the past few days. I hate feeling miserable. Raw foods are definitely the way to go.
After I got home, I had to quickly get set up because I had a webinar to watch. So, I took my dog outside for a bit, then came in and cut up some kiwis as that was the “pre-dinner” snack. I could have made my smoothie, but sorting through spinach would have taken way longer than just slicing up some kiwis. So that’s what I did. In fact, I didn’t make the smoothie all day.
Now, after the webinar, and perhaps even during the webinar, I fell asleep. I was so exhausted. I’m literally sleeping like 5 hours a night because I stay up working so much. I keep saying I need to balance things out, but the truth is I really do. Perhaps this weekend I’ll actually draw up a schedule for every day.
After I woke up from my nap, I immediately had a huge stomach cramp and had to run to the bathroom. Three times today this happened, and it has been painful. My stomach is finally in a full rebellion of the junk food I ate and is starting to cleanse itself. Hopefully this is short-lived and my body can do its job efficiently because I didn’t even go to the gym tonight in fear of being too far away from a bathroom for too long.
I didn’t feel like eating again for the longest time, but did end up making a salad before bed. However, the salad didn’t taste the greatest (it’s very hit and miss with the dressings), so I only ended up eating about half of it. But because my stomach was fairly empty, I was so hungry and couldn’t even go to bed without eating something else. So, off the meal plan but still predominately raw, I sliced up some banana, drizzled some apple honey (honey consistency but made from apple, no bees required), and put a few vegan chocolate chips. Now, I’m not sure what was wrong with my kiwis earlier, but they were very “zingy” and it left what almost felt like some stinging in my mouth which made the late night dessert not so good. Perhaps my kiwis were not fully ripe; I really don’t know. I don’t have any food allergies and have never reacted to kiwis before, but perhaps there is more to the story than I know.
Now, tomorrow is National Sandwich Day and it is a planned, off-course day. It will still be vegan with tons of raw veggies, but I am intrigued to see how my body reacts to bread. I do suspect that bread will help stop the immediate bathroom needs which would be nice while I’m at work since the staff only have one washroom to split amongst us all, but I’ve also heard people discover their gluten intolerance when trying gluten after so long of not eating it. So this will be an experiment to see how my body reacts. Then I’m back on course with the last two days of the Rawsome Healthy Diet Plan. I’m still trying to decide where I want to go after that, but stay tuned and you’ll find out.
Review of Symptoms:
-Stomach is in an all-out war, cleansing mode!
-Tired/exhausted
-Acne is the same.
-Hair is so soft, but still a little static-y.
-Muscles are finally less sore today. Aiming for the gym tomorrow.
-Tongue/mouth seemed to react a little to the kiwis (not swollen, just like a “sting”).
-Hungry
Weight at the end of the the day = 165.6 lbs (down 4.8 lbs from yesterday)
Total Calories =Â 2087 (83% carbs, 10% fat, 7% protein… good macro ratio!)
Journal:
Today was a much better day. I prepared my grapes last night so that they were ready to go today. I had them rinsed, stems removed, and put in a portable container so that all I had to do was pop the container open and eat. 2 lbs of beautiful green grapes were consumed this morning.
It was after the morning snack that I ran into semi-trouble again. I did not have time whatsoever to go make the smoothie for lunch. In fact, I didn’t end up making the smoothie until after I had a meeting, then packed and cleaned up my classroom and finally came home. Seriously, that was way too long to wait to eat and it led me to eat some leftover junk from yesterday. I didn’t eat near as much junk, but some nonetheless. I have to somehow find a way to manage my time a little better.
So of course, as soon as I came home, I made my smoothie out of bananas and Romaine lettuce. This seriously is not my favourite smoothie, even with my bananas ripening properly. After this program, I don’t think I will make this combination again.
I later had to do some errands in town but did not go to the gym. I’m giving my body the rest it was demanding from me today. Tomorrow, I will hit the gym hard again. So instead of going to the gym, I jumped into making the pre-dinner snack which was fresh orange juice blended with kiwis. Now this was an interesting combination. Try it out sometime!
Finally, I made the supper which was a spiralized zucchini dish. Oh my goodness you guys, this sauce was DIVINE. If anything, it actually felt extremely rich and flavourful, almost too rich and flavourful. I actually think it would make a great gravy for a future recipe. It did feel very salty even though my sundried tomatoes were oil and salt free. And because it was so rich, I did not eat all of the sauce. It was too much. I ate lots of zucchini and that was that for the night.
**I did the breakfast and lunch from Day 5 of their diet plan, and the supper from Day 3. Still using their recipes, just making them as things become ripe.
Review of Symptoms:
-Tongue needed minor scraping
-Stomach still not feeling great (gotta stop the junk food!!)
-Digestion is trying to do its job but running into issues (again, no more junk food!)
-Hair still feels dry and easily becomes static. Not enjoying this.
-Acne is bad. Thank you junk food….
Weight at the end of the day =Â 170.4 lbs (down 0.2 lbs form yesterday)
Total Calories =Â 2032 (75% carbs, 14% fat, 11% protein)
Journal:
I am finally on to eating all fruit! I’m so excited. I don’t have to depend on a blender anymore. Honestly, making smoothies isn’t so bad when I’m home with a blender, but even though I have a blender at work, it’s hard for me to break away from the students to take the time needed to make a smoothie, wash the blender, etc. To be successful with a smoothie feast, here are my tips:
So today, for a snack, I had an orange pippin apple. I had never had this variety before, but it is delicious! The flavour is intense and wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed my apple.
For lunch, I had a Keitt mango and it was phenomenal. When I bought these mangoes, they were completely unripe, hard as a rock, and costed me $3 per mango. I took a huge chance when I bought these, but I couldn’t be any happier that I did. They have been the best mangoes I have had in years. Oh my goodness. I am in love! Sadly, today’s mango was my last one. I am going to miss them dearly.
So, as you can kind of tell, I didn’t get a lot of time to eat today. But, that’s why having easy-access fruit is crucial with my job. I only get short minutes here and there to eat, so if the fruit is not ready to go right away, then chances are I won’t be able to eat it or at least won’t be able to eat much of it.
I didn’t end up eating anything for the rest of the day. In fact, it wasn’t until I finished work, got home, went to get my local soccer player’s card, went to Eurosport and bought indoor soccer shoes, shin pads, and new highlighter yellow soccer socks, that I finally went to another smoothie place called Jugo Juice. Jugo Juice is a place that serves fresh juices and smoothies and unlike Booster Juice, never uses sorbet in their smoothies (hence why I’ve been getting only the juice/smoothies at Booster Juice).
At Jugo Juice, I got a smoothie called Blushing Mango. It had guava and passionfruit juices, blended with frozen raspberries and frozen mangoes. It was VERY good.
After finishing my smoothie, I ended up coming home. I didn’t end up making it to the gym because I was tired from not eating a lot throughout the day (my mistake). I also have had a chill all day, never seeming to be able to get warm. This made it difficult for me to want to go back outside to drive to the gym. We have snow on the ground already and after doing my morning recess duty, it’s like the chill was in my bones all day. I’m not enjoying this early winter.
I did end up drinking a little bit of organic blueberry juice before I went to bed (so hungry), but that was it for the day.
Review of Symptoms:
-HUNGRY! (Need to eat more throughout the day!)
-Acne still bad…
-Digestion is good.
-Tongue very minimally covered.
Weight at the end of the day =Â 171.2 lbs (down 3 lbs from yesterday)
Total Calories =Â 946 (96% carbs, 2% fat, 2% protein… need to eat more tomorrow…)
My husband and I (and our pups) just spent the last two days driving back up to Canada from the states. The past two weeks in the states have been phenomenal to say the least. I’ll write a post stating more of what we did later, but I experienced something tonight that I needed to feel, something I didn’t know would be possible for a very long time.
In high school, I lived in the “big city”. It was nice for the duration I was here, but when I left, I swore never to move back. I am a small town girl, and the big city is just not my scene.
When I graduated from university, I was able to get a job for the first year in a small town. Bingo! But when that maternity leave position ran up, so did my other plans.
I received a phone call from my superintendent that I had an interview scheduled in the “big city” on such-and-such a date at such-and-such a time. I hadn’t even been asked, I had simply just been told.
On that day, I drove to the city, did my interview, and of course, got the job. I couldn’t believe what was happening. The one place I never wanted to end up was the one place I was being told I had to be. I was angry for a very long time.
Eventually, I got to the point where I simply went around saying “God certainly has a sense of humour!” But my one year employment turned into two, then three, and currently on year four.
Reflecting on it, I knew God wanted me to be here. There were certain situations I had to encounter as a teacher to grow. There were painful moments I had to experience to become wiser. There were children who needed someone to advocate for them, and there were relationships built with students who just needed someone to listen that wouldn’t judge them. I was able to fill that place. As much as they think they have learned from me, I learned ever so much from them.
This year, when my big change from 6th grade to 2nd grade came, I couldn’t believe it was happening. As much as 6th graders stressed me out, I loved the counselling aspect; I loved the difficult questions. I felt like a stranger in grade 2. But of course, as time went on, it became easier and I was able to find aspects I liked. But I couldn’t help thinking, is this really where I’m supposed to be? Is this really what I’m still supposed to do?
I can’t really say it’s teacher’s burnout (though I’m sure some things are similar). It’s just the feeling of being “stuck”. No matter how many ways I looked at our situation financially, I could see no better opportunity to survive than where we were. We both hate living in the city, though I’ve come to see good parts about it and don’t hate it as bad as I used to. But when I can hear parts of my neighbour’s conversations, when my neighbours that I strive to be so nice to turn around and stab me in the back, and when I no longer see a way that Canadians are nicer than Americans anymore (sad reality from what I see here in the city), I know we aren’t really happy here. It’s not where either one of us want to be. So that’s when I realized something this weekend.
When we were finally finishing our drive, doing the same maneuvers through the city as we had done for years, we had come to the house, walked in, and I suddenly felt like I was in someone else’s house. I felt like a stranger walking into someone else’s life. It was a strange feeling. My husband did not experience the same thing, but for some reason, it was like I was that “spirit” looking at someone else’s world, an outsider looking in. Of course that feeling is over now, but that wasn’t the only feeling that came.
After driving for 2 days, we absolutely did not have the energy to go grocery shopping. So we went out for supper (our fridge is bare). On the way home from supper, it hit me. This city is no longer my jail. I no longer feel like I strapped to this city, unable to move. I no longer feel like the city is the pit that is going to swallow me whole to keep me here with no escape. I suddenly realized, with options my husband, my mother-in-law, and myself had talked about after Christmas break, the world is at our fingertips. It may not be a fun ride to make change, but to get out of the rut of tiredness, depression, and feeling “stuck”, a few months of painful change would be so worth it. It’s no longer an impossibly large, looming, unattainable vision, it is now a totally possible, difficult but doable task. And taking those chains off was the best feeling I could have ever experienced.
I know this post is kind of vague, but this year is a huge year of change. I cannot leak more information than is timely, but I can assure you this year is going to difficult but good. Stay tuned!
I’m going to make this post a lot shorter than I originally  intended. Mainly because I’m not quite as heated up about it as I was at the time I wanted to write about it.
A student asked me this week if I would rather have 15 hour days or 34 hour days. I have no idea why those two numbers were picked, but I would definitely rather have the 34 hour days because then I would have more time to do things AND more time to sleep. I see it being a double win!
Anyways, I was part of another conversation on Facebook, a couple different ones I guess. And one thing I noticed is that people were very quick to judge who I was, especially if they didn’t agree with my opinion. I got called a hypocritical vegan, racist, a selfish person, etc. And that’s fine if it were true, and maybe somewhere in my actions, I don’t realize I am slightly those ways, but here is what the people didn’t know, and I called them out on this.
They didn’t know that I’m not a hypocritical vegan. I grew up eating meat. I was vegetarian for many, many years and only went back to eating meat because of getting into bodybuilding and fitness. I then became so miserable that I went to what I thought was only natural and the best for you – vegan. Since then, I’ve educated myself and now refuse to buy anything related to animal products. I research everything and to any of my knowledge do not buy animal-based products, even to the extent I refused to buy a new vehicle with leather in it! I only buy vegan make-up products, self-care products, and even now that my blowdryer just died after 11 years, I’m researching vegan blowdryers. Hypocritical? I really don’t think so…
Now racist and selfishness came in the same conversation with the ever trivial topic of the Syrian refugees. My point was to be careful with who we let in. I wasn’t saying to never let any Syrians in, I wasn’t saying to ban all Middle Eastern people, I was simply saying to be careful. It’s no different with any other race in any other country. I mean, there are WHITE people from North America that have joined ISIS. Am I going to say we should let them come back to our country just because they’re white? Absolutely not. My entire point was to be careful, to do the proper screening so that we can assess who really needs help from those that are actually terrorists that are trying to sneak in, because regardless of whether we like it or not, we live in a time where things like fake passports are easily available, some that are not even distinguishable from real ones. But back to what they didn’t know.
They didn’t know that in high school, I willingly gave up Christmas to go to Peru on a mission trip and give my time, my labour, and gifts to other people much more needy than myself. And no, my parents did not pay for that trip. They may have helped some, but most of that was fundraising and my own high school job that helped pay the thousands of dollars to go and give some more. They didn’t know that throughout high school and university, I spent extensive amounts of time gathering things for those less fortunate, and serving the homeless through things like soup kitchens and simply setting up tables in the middle of the homeless areas downtown for them to come get coats and other warm items to wear. What they didn’t know is that when I see people begging outside of grocery stores or gas stations in need of food or gas money or whatever, I stop and ask what it is that they need and pay for things for them. What they didn’t know was that in university, I was on a Choir trip to California, and the group of us (50+) were walking the streets of San Francisco where a homeless man was holding out a hat for money. Some rude boy walked by (not from our choir) and threw the money all over the ground. The homeless man was disabled and was having an extremely difficult time trying to reach the money. So regardless of how many countless people I saw walk by him, I stopped and picked up the money for him to which he was extremely grateful for and ended up handing me a Christian pamphlet. I will never forget that. What they don’t know is that even though I’ve become much too busy in my life to do as much as I want to help others, my heart aches when I see the disasters and injustices going on in this world. I cry about it. I pray about it. I cannot wait for God to return and wipe out all of the evil there is. Yes, things are not fair and I hate that it has to be that way.
But these are all the things these judgmental people didn’t know about me because they didn’t take a chance to know where I come from. Am I guilty of this sometimes? Absolutely. I will never profess to be perfect because sometimes you make judgement calls in the heat of the moment. But more and more I am consciously trying to take a step back, learn abut the person or situation, and then take a stand. Too often we are too quick to jump on something that we think is right without knowing the whole truth at all.
Take the time to be educated before jumping to conclusions.
I apologize that the title of this blog sounds hateful. I can assure you I don’t have farmers. For 2 years of my life, my family had our own farm. My best friend in university’s family had a beef farm, and for two years, my hairdresser and her husband had a beef farm. I don’t hate farmers in the least. But here is an argument I was part of this week.
Now, normally, I’m not such a vocal person. I’m not the kind of person who just looks for a fight or who believes everyone should think the same way I do. In fact, because of my Christian beliefs, I believe that God has given everyone the gift of free choice, and so I am not someone to take that away. Of course this gets bordered when it inflicts pain on others, but that’s a whole other topic. The fact is, in Exodus, God gave permission to eat certain animals, one of them being cows. So if you want to eat beef, I may not agree with it, but you have total right to do that. So that’s not where this argument is coming from.
What I saw this week was a picture of an almost frozen calf in a farmer’s truck. This is a typical appearance. In my two years of farming, we were up in the middle of the night to help our animals sometimes. I get the work it takes. I see the dedication farmers have. But the caption of the farmer is how much they cared/loved their cows. That’s where I had a problem.
Now, this world has problems enough with understanding what love really is. All too often we see people throwing around the “love” word without really meaning it. People date people and still keep their own needs above their partners. People get married, and stop caring for each other. This is an awful view of love. There are so many terrible views of love. One of the pure views of love that are left in the world is when I look at mothers who truly love their children. They will do anything to protect them and give them the best lives possible. That’s what love should be. Fighting for the one you love, willing to die for that person, that’s love.
Now, I know we are talking about animals and not humans, and many people do not consider them on the same level, so that’s fine. Let’s go with that. But love, in no sense of any manner, means killing the thing you love. Think of a child’s favourite toy, or an adult’s favourite car. You love that toy/car. If that object were to “die”, you would be incredibly upset and angry. These objects aren’t even alive. Yet the cows are. (This also goes for pigs/sheep/chickens, etc…)
So these ALIVE things that farmers are claiming they “love” are raised to be killed. Does that still seem like love to you? Is it caring to kill them?
I had someone tell me that ranchers and farmers are different. That’s cool. I can see they are different. That’s not a big deal to me. The ranchers say they are animal rights activists and they do what they can to give the cows the best lives they can. Well, although it does seem like a very nice gesture to give an animal the best life possible for their short lives, do you think they would call it a “good life” to live for a couple years then be killed? Would you call it a “good life” if you were raised to the age of 2 or 18 (2 year old cow = 18 years as a human) to know you would be placed with a bullet between your eyes and then cut apart for others to eat? Would you call that loving? Is that caring? Knowing you were only born to be food? I don’t think so.
I think there is such a disconnect in this world! It’s crazy! If you are willing to put all that care into an animal, taking a cow into your home to warm them up, saying that you “love” them, well, I will agree you are acting that way. But why do you stop loving them? Why does it change from this seemingly “love” feeling to a feeling of “get on my plate! Die!” Is that how you feel about your dog? Is that how you feel about your cat? Is that how you feel about your children? They’re only worth loving for so long before you get rid of them and don’t care what happens to them?
Some of you may be wondering why I have such a big deal over a simple word. But here’s the reason, people are not owning what actually happens. Sure, the cow may have a “good life” before its death date. But here’s what happens to this “beloved animal” on it’s death date. It gets taken on a usually overloaded cow trailer where they are not given water or anything of substance on the way to slaughter. Once they get to the slaughterhouse, they become terribly frightened. They hear other cows expressing their fright and just as a dog has amazing senses in the personality of humans, cows are no different. They can sense fear and know something is wrong. The “beloved” creatures are as scared as a child in the dark except darkness is easy to fix, death is not. So not only are they unloaded to this terrible place, many people abuse these animals while they are still alive, fighting with creatures who are only scared and reacting as such. Do you go in and punish your child for having a nightmare? These cows are LIVING their nightmare and being punished for it.
When the time comes to be killed, a bullet is put between their eyes. Now, according to government regulations, it’s ok if they’re not killed by that bullet as long as they are stunned and unable to move. Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s almost like a totally functioning person in a coma. These people, when out of the coma, are able to tell you things that people said because they were totally there, just not in control of their body. That’s how these cows are except they can’t tell you what people are saying, but they can tell you about the hooks that were painfully shoved through their legs. Would you like to be alive with hooks piercing your body? I’m going to guess not. Of course, the hook is not enough to kill the cow. So the next step is being sliced open down the middle of their bodies and through their neck. Mmm. What an awesome feeling while you’re still alive. So humane. Such a “loved” and “cared about” animal, right?
So here’s the thing. If you can accept what you do, and you have no problem saying cows are just money to you, that you don’t actually love them and don’t care about the violence you put them through, then by all means that’s at least not hypocritical. Again, I don’t agree with it and think it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are, but I at least appreciate the honesty. But if you advertise to the world that you are such a caring and loving person to these animals, you are so hypocritical and maybe even lying to yourself! I’m asking farmers and ranchers to take responsibility for their actions. You’re not really an animal rights activist when you’re still sending them to a bitter death. So that’s the part I have a problem with. Accept the realities of your job. Don’t just pretend that you’re doing something good for them because for all the good you did before, I guarantee the cows would choose a little less cozy life in exchange for keeping their lives. Nobody wants to die, not even animals. They are alive, they have thoughts, they are just unable to communicate to us the way we need to understand. So start thinking and accept what the truth is. That’s it. If you choose to continue to eat meat, like I said, that’s your choice. But know where that meat is coming from and what that animal is going through to get to your stomach when the world over knows a vegetarian/vegan diet is a way to thrive. You don’t need meat, you don’t need dairy products. But make your choice while being educated and not hiding the truth.
Know the truth, own your choice.
I have considered myself to be a little technologically disadvantaged lately. My husband’s computer is not working, and my computer stopped working. I could move the mouse, but even though the mousepad sounded like it was clicking, the computer would not technologically let it click on anything. How frustrating!! Thankfully, because the school purchased our computers with AppleCare, it was able to go into the shop and be fixed. However, this does take time… and so I was over a week without my computer.
Sorry peeps, there was a good reason I wasn’t writing.
You know, I’m the type of person that actually enjoys unplugging from the world for awhile. I like being without technology from time to time. My high dependence on technology for work is what usually gets me, plus the fact I manage our household bills/budgets online as well as communication to my family who live far away.
And as much as I like to unplug, just because my computer quit working didn’t mean my job stopped. I still had to teach on a stand-in computer. And when you have a computer that you cannot save anything on, that doesn’t have all the files you need, that isn’t the same as yours, it just makes things a little more difficult. Plus, I couldn’t take it home. It was only for use at work.
So let me tell you, I’m happy I have my computer back. I have everything I need back. I have all of my familiarity back.. though it did take a few minutes for it to sink in that my computer was my computer. It feels a little like “home”.
So I’m back, and I’ll be writing again! Thanks for sticking around!
Calm in Christ and Fitness 