Every once in awhile, I believe God allows things to happen to direct me to what I need to do/hear. Last night was one of those times. I was driving from a friend’s house to go home (actually, I was … Continue reading
Have you ever felt the pressure to answer the question, “How are you?” with “I’m ok”? Have you ever felt like giving any less of an answer, regardless of what you’re actually feeling, would just be a burden to society? … Continue reading
I’ve almost been vegan for a year. Can you believe it? Time has gone by so quickly, and I don’t regret a second of it! So I thought I’d fill you in on my progress, and something that switched mentally along the way.
When I first went vegan, in the end of June/beginning of July 2015, I went through a week of major withdrawal; not from animal products, but from cheese! My husband ate nachos almost daily, and the smell of melted cheese would be ever so tempting. So how did I combat it? By having a piece of fruit in my hand and shoving it in my mouth… lol. You do what you have to do.
From there, it got easier. However, since I was so excited about this vegan world, I started looking for everything vegan in the grocery stores. I subscribed to a local Organic Box delivery which was the greatest thing because then I was able to select organic produce to be delivered weekly so that I always had fruit and veggies available. But as the fall came, things changed.
In the colder weather, I wanted cooked foods all the time. No problem, really. You can easily be a cooked food vegan. But, with a few complications in starting up my next school year, I started grabbing denser calorie, fast food. This meant hitting much too much of the shelves and freezers in the grocery stores. Not only was I excited that so many things were vegan, but I was able to try so many vegan products. Let’s just say, I was not paying attention to the macronutrient breakdown in any of them. My diet was very high in fat.
Now, I was already mentally transitioning from a person who had heavily counted calories, starved myself to lose weight, and pretty much obsessed with being thin to someone who was just concerned about being healthier for myself and doing what I felt God was calling me to do. That didn’t make it any easier when I found my weight still climbing. I was eating all that I cared for, reaching a state of being full but not being stuffed. I felt pretty well, but I knew the weight gain was not what I wanted. However, I continued on because it was easy to do.
Christmas came, and I was so excited to travel to the states to try some new vegan restaurants. They were AMAZING. But it hit me when my mother-in-law had to ask my husband if she should even bother asking me if I wanted to sort through some clothes of hers before she donated them. That told me right away everyone noticed my weight gain. I started to feel pretty bad.
The following two months presented me with some of the greatest stress I have had in quite awhile. My husband left for school in the states, I moved our entire apartment myself, making appointments to sell items along the way. As soon as things were finally moved, I had to prepare report cards. As soon as that was over, I had to prepare for parent-teacher interviews. Needless to say, I got really sick after that. I literally did not have a single break, and as happy as I was to be leaving our old place, I hit the point of nostalgia as it was emptied and I was doing it alone. Emotional ups and downs, zero rest, and not eating was a recipe for disaster, and a time to hit my highest weight. I knew things had to change.
I was not giving up veganism, that was not an issue. Veganism had made me feel better about pretty much everything. In fact, when I was not reminded about my weight gain, I actually felt amazing. But I knew I could do better.
With my husband in school, and I taking on all of our bills, the money was cinched tight. I had/have a very small budget which meant all those vegan junk foods were few and far between. I actually had to start cooking again! And you know what? I felt even better than before. I found out that my greatest eating pattern is eating raw throughout the day (mostly fruit) and eating a cooked meal in the evening. The cooked meal ranges from pasta to potatoes to veggies and vegan proteins, to vegan sushi, to cream of wheat, to sandwiches. They are not complicated at all, and are whole-food based. I feel vibrant and amazing and have even found a 6-day pattern of attending the gym again. And that’s when it happened: I started caring less about my weight gain.
I knew I was bigger than I wanted to be, but I chose to trust the system. People have been through this before; I’m not the only one. God’s original diet for us was the fruits of the earth, and I was closer than ever to following that diet. I began to pray for God to not only bless my food before I ate it, but to bless my efforts in trying to eat the way He designed for us, and for my results to show to others that this is His design as well. I began to pray before workouts for the same thing. And then I continued to eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full, except this time, it was whole plant foods from home.
You know what? In less than two months, I am down 14 pounds from my heaviest. Did I cut calories at all? No. In fact, I have been logging my food everyday just to see how much I’m eating. Some days, I’m not very hungry and I only eat around 1500 calories. I don’t like to go lower than this, so that does involve an some extra food I probably wouldn’t have otherwise eaten. Some days, I’m super hungry and can eat over 3000 calories. I’m not starving my body anymore. I’m giving it the healthy nutrition it needs, and it’s working.
I’ve always worked out which you’ll see if you have followed this blog for quite awhile, so that has not changed. I’m currently doing 3 full-body circuits a week with 3 cardio sessions between and 1 rest day. I’m getting stronger, and my endurance is better. I absolutely love it.
So I’m continuing on my vegan journey, in love with it greatly. My father has started his own fitness journey and to my surprise, displayed a picture of a blender with raw vegan protein powder. He’s been making banana/protein smoothies. It’s a huge step! My mother has been trying to cut down on the animal consumption within the house, and a coworker of mine has just begun her own vegan journey as well. More and more I’m realizing that people are waking up to the reality of how great a vegan diet is, for health reasons, beliefs, ethical and environmental reasons. It is truly the greatest. And though weight loss is awesome, it beats nothing to knowing your body is healthy and going to last you a little longer. When you eat healthy, the body releases the fat that is not good. It’s a slow process, and already within the two months, I’ve had over a week of being stalled on the exact same weight. But I continued nonetheless, and it paid off with a lower weight break in the end. So take courage. If I can do this, you can too. Start researching and be awakened to the world of truth that is out there. It’s truly amazing how deceiving the world is. Get to the nitty gritty and find out for yourself; the only regret you’ll have is that you didn’t do it sooner.
I hate the way the world works sometimes. I hate seeing people in pain. I hate watching people getting picked on or bullied. I hate sin and wrong-doings in this world.
When I was going through my university years, completing my education degree, I had a desire to work with special needs children. It wasn’t because I looked forward to the extra work that often comes with special needs children, but because I wanted to make a difference. I knew special needs children were often put down and sometimes stared at as if the were a circus sideshow. I knew I could step up and be the voice of those children, and I knew that I could help those children feel as important as they are. But that’s not what happened.
At first I ended up teaching at a Native School. It took me awhile to learn the different dynamics needed to teach students who come from a history of anger. It was a definite learning curve in understanding the culture, the behaviours, and the thoughts about different things. But one of the things I found is that my classroom was often their safe place. My classroom was the one place they could count on someone being there to love them. I was a safe place for these kids.
Now as much as I loved being in that position, time would have me change again. This time, to a place where I wasn’t such a safe place. These kids did not need me (or at least felt like they didn’t). The attitudes were indifferent, the gratitude was gone. I really struggled at first to see how in the world I could make a difference when my students were convinced they had everything the needed.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t my first year that I figured it out. It was my second and my third that really opened my heart. I realized that maybe I wouldn’t be able to reach all students, even though I try. But there is at least one in each class who needs someone they can trust; someone they can break down their barriers and let them truly see the inside that they keep.
It broke my heart when the first student really let me in their life. The amount of background some of these kids hide is disheartening. It sometimes makes you wonder how they even function. It’s no wonder some of them put up a tough-front at school. Some of them are simply caught in that worldly struggle: the one where they are fighting between being good and doing what they know is right, and doing what the world expects and wants them to do. Absolutely the struggle gets worse as the generations get older. It’s sad in the very least, but it does, unfortunately, exist.
I witnessed something that brought this whole thing up in my mind. A situation that brought up a whole slew of memories.
One of my students is running for class rep in the upcoming school year. She’s an awesome student, wonderful in both academics and her Christianity. Unfortunately, she is one in very few that does not struggle with desires to be popular. She will not swear because others are doing it. She does not talk about inappropriate things because she has no interest. She knows what she believes and she sticks to it. She knows what is right, and that is what she does. And it has made her unpopular in her class.
Today, the vote was completed. And though she almost perfectly fits the description of the position she is running for, more votes were left blank than were voted in favour. My heart sank and my blood boiled a little. If there were legitimately good reasons for not letting her have the position, then I would accept that. But I know it’s because they are upset the one person they wanted to run wasn’t able due to his grades. Whether it’s an expression of bitterness or anger, is it right to decline someone that not only wants the position, but is ready, willing and capable of doing it well?
I don’t know what the right solution is. After all, voting is an expression of your opinion. But my heart aches in knowing that the reasons behind the reactions are wrong. And that bothers me. Someone who perfectly is capable of doing something so well, being held back by unpopularity, is wrong. It takes me right back to my whole philosophy of teaching, and that is that students are capable of more than they are doing, and standing up for those who don’t have as much of a voice.
I grew up in public schools where situations are much worse than I have ever experienced in my years of private school. I have seen “losers” beat up for simply not being good enough for others. I have seen the separation and isolation of those who needed the extra pull-out help and did not think like the others. I have seen students dragged from classrooms because they were acting out in anger about their situations. It’s not pretty.
One year, we did a fundraiser where the boys provided a lunch, and we bid on these “anonymous lunches”. When the bidding was done and every girl had her lunch, then the boys would reveal themselves and we would share lunch with them. I just happened to get one of those classmates that was always taken out for extra help, and who had problems with his anger, reacting from the situations he was in and the way he was treated.
I will forever regret the way I treated him.
I didn’t say anything mean, but that’s simply because I didn’t say anything at all. I was silent the whole time. And now I cannot even go back and apologize for being “snobby” because he was killed in a car accident several years ago (I think I was still in high school). That’s guilt that I have to live with, and guilt that started to change the way I reacted to people.
The one girl that was dragged from our classroom was probably the lowest person in our class. She didn’t always take showers, and she didn’t come from the most well-off family. In fact, I actually don’t know how she was treated at home. But what I do know is that people didn’t like her and daily made fun of her. I will never forget the one day she came up to me and told me that I was her role-model. I didn’t try to be anyone’s role-model, I just tried to talk to her and be nice when others wouldn’t. And look at the difference that made on her life. The simplest of acts I could have done, and it literally changed her world.
Now I’d like to say others followed, but they didn’t. I’d like to say her life changed for the best, but it didn’t. I did manage to get in contact with her again during university, sadly to find out she was pregnant and the baby’s father wanted nothing to do with her as soon as she became pregnant. As a matter of fact, he ran out with another girl and married her very shortly afterwards. And to make matters worse, he called social services claiming she was an unfit mother and had her baby taken away. In no way did her life get better.
I’m sad to say I’ve lost contact with her. My only method of contact no longer seems to work. I do pray for her, that things work out and she’s able to have her baby back in her life. I know she was fighting hard for him. But I pray God’s love surrounds her and God-willing, I will be able to connect with her again.
I truly, truly do hate the world treats people that are different – people that stand out from everybody else. I had the position of popularity and I misused it once. But I promise to do my best to never misuse it again. When a situation arises where someone needs a voice, I wish to be that voice for them, to stand up on their behalf. Just because you don’t think the same as everyone else or do the same things everyone else does is not a reason to be treated so badly. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. Make a difference in someone’s life. Even if it’s just one person you’ve helped, you’ve literally just changed a person’s entire world. Do what you can and don’t delay. You never know the good you can leave behind.
What are your thoughts about riding bicycles in the winter? Personally, I’m all for environmentally friendly methods of transportation, but when you live in Canada where the winters are bitterly cold, snowy and icy, I don’t think bicycles are a smart move. Mix that with living in a city where daily accidents already occur to inexperienced or careless winter drivers and the conditions of the roads themselves, you have a toxic combination.
This all stems from something I saw on my way from my chiropractor appointment one day. There is a crossing of two roads where it should be a 4-way stop, but it isn’t. The corners are not the easiest to see ahead because many vehicles line the streets, so most drivers naturally slow down where the roads cross just incase, even though there aren’t any signs or lights telling you to do so.
As I was driving out of this community, going through that same intersection, on the opposite side of the road, I saw an ambulance. However, I only saw one vehicle. Upon looking closer, I also noticed a bicycle and a rider on the ground with the paramedic bent over the rider. Oh my goodness! I didn’t see any blood or anything, but I can’t imagine how scary that must have been.
I don’t know. I just feel like I can barely trust other drivers when I’m driving in my own car, let alone on a defenceless bicycle. I do think bicycling is good for you, but definitely not in winter, and maybe not in a huge city. What do you think?
Today began my week of devotions for the teachers at school. This is something I actually enjoy doing. And not like usual, I did not have any inspirational thoughts until this morning. Usually I get inspirational thoughts days in advance, but God had some pretty hefty thoughts being prepared for me.
Today’s worship was on sleep, brought up by the Spirit Week theme of Pyjama Day at our school. I talked about the challenges that lack of sleep can cause, the extreme cases of sleep deprivation, and the fact that it is when we lay our head down that we are choosing to trust God to take care of us as we sleep. I had never thought of it that way before I had found someone’s blog online. The fact that we sleep – usually – every night, and are continuously putting our trust in Him that never sleeps is a new concept to me, but one that makes complete sense! This worship went very well!
As can be easily explained, since this was Pyjama Day, the students and the staff were dressed in their pyjamas. Now, I have not done psychology studies on this topic, but I felt so tired this day. I honestly think it makes a difference in what you wear! And yet, some of my students seemed like their energy doubled. Oh boy…
I still made it to the gym, not wearing my pyjamas, and had a great workout focussing on back, biceps and abs. I finished this workout with 12 minutes of HIIT.
Patience. Often something we lack. I’m not talking about the kind of patience where you take deep breaths when you’re struggling with something or waiting for someone who is running late. I’m talking patience when you’re waiting for an answer to something and it never seems to come. That’s the patience I’m talking about.
This whole immigration thing with my husband frustrates me to no end. Now they’ve lost his FBI record that took us almost 3 months to get. I know they had it because I sent it in the same envelope as the Work Permit application. He got his work permit, meaning they got the FBI record. Yet they don’t have any record of it? I have a funny feeling I’m going to be waiting more than another 3 months…
But this whole situation really got me thinking. What if for right now, the work permit is enough? What about those nasty snow storms we had last winter, and yet we had a vehicle that sporadically ran. But wasn’t that enough to get us through all the days we desperately needed a car? It was a pain to have my basement flood and the endless disgust that came with the duties of pumping it all out, but wasn’t it contained just enough to not destroy many expensive things? I hate my washer and dryer. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the washer blows up one day. But isn’t it just enough that I have a washer and dryer that I didn’t have to pay for and that get the job done for now? My husband may not have his residency yet which does put some of our plans and decisions on hold. But isn’t it just enough that he does get to be here with me and can legally work? And maybe the time they told him to leave the country and then said he shouldn’t have left the country, and then got stopped at the border for two hours almost to not be let in the country, wasn’t that enough that they at least let him through the border with a visitor visa?
Funny enough, as coincidental as this is, I’m currently sitting in the car, my husband has just come out from looking at other vehicle options, and our car won’t start. And I’m not quite frankly sure how this is going to end. But the one thing I do know is that it is just enough that I have options.
It is just enough that we can ask someone to boost us and hopefully that will work. It is just enough that if necessary, I pay yearly for AMA coverage which includes a few tows if I need them. It is just enough that I even have a car that has gotten me around this long. It is just enough that although we couldn’t do it for long, we do have the money to pay for a taxi to go home. And it is just enough to know that we were already planning on another vehicle – although we were hoping for it to be a second vehicle – so that if need be, we can get another vehicle fast.
Praise God that He knows what we need and gives us JUST ENOUGH ❤
I’m not going to stay long because I do need to be with my husband at this frustrating moment. But I write to you so that you know, even if things don’t quite turn out the way you want or the way you expect, God will provide you with just enough to get through whatever it is, and just enough to keep you going.
Sometimes everything we think we need is so far from what we actually need, and that’s where trusting in God and being patient upon His answers can be so hard. But I challenge you today. Look at the things He’s given you that are just enough, and go from there.
My all-time favourite Bible verses are 1 Corinthians 13 (taken from Biblegateway.com).
13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhoodbehind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
It’s such a descriptive example of what love is. There is no denying how we are supposed to love others. There is no ability to say, “I didn’t know what love meant.” This chapter says it all. This verse has all the details you need to know.
Now imagine if we took every child in the world and taught them that this is what love is. Imagine if we were to somehow impart this knowledge to the sons and daughters of the world before they embrace the dating scene. Imagine if they knew what we were saying when we looked someone in the eye and said I love you and actually meant it. Not just saying it, but actually acting that love out. This knowledge, if successfully translated in a way that children could understand, could potentially save them from experiences that could affect the rest of their lives. Mistakes that we’ve made, and hope for them to avoid.
Diving a little deeper into the “Love Chapter”: What does it really mean to love people in this way? No, it doesn’t just mean loving our spouses or family, but also the people around us. You see, Jesus did not simply pick the people He wanted to love. He loves us all. Unconditionally. And we are to become closer to His character. Which means…. we are to love all of His creations as well. The pesky neighbour, the vandalizing gang in the neighbourhood, the murderer in jail. All of them are loved by Jesus, and we are called to love and forgive them too.
Sometimes this love is so hard for me. When I have a defiant child in the class that will outright lie, ignore and challenge you. When I have an argument with someone when I know I’m right. The times that it seems others are being selfish and not thinking about the effects it could have on me. All of these things make it hard to love someone the way God calls us to.
But those verses remain. They don’t change. Sometimes it’s the patience that I need. Sometimes it’s giving up the grudges that I hold. Sometimes I need to let go of that pride, that selfishness, that anger. Sometimes I need to think of the other person before myself. And sometimes, I need to just put myself in their shoes.
Sometimes this means that I need to take a moment to myself. I need to take a few deep breaths and close my eyes. I need to remember the stupid things that I do sometimes, and the way Jesus would sit there with open arms and tell me He loves me and forgives me. Then I need to look at that child or that person through God’s lenses. That doesn’t mean discipline may not be required. But it does mean I need to love that child/person the same way God instructs me.
Unconditional love is not easy, but it is called for. I may never be perfect at it, but I must try. Our human nature is so quick to go the wrong way, yet Jesus calls us back. He calls us back into His arms to first make us feel loved so that we can share that with others.
I encourage you to take the verses in 1 Corinthians 13 and start working on them for yourself. Not necessarily all at once, but take one part at a time. Apply it to your everyday. Apply it to the people you interact with and notice the difference it makes.
If the world was ruled by love, there would be far less war. If the world was ruled by love, we would live in the most amazing place. You may not be able to change the whole world, but you can change a part of it. Be that change God calls you to be, and the change that people need to see. Go out and share God’s love today.
Now it is true that almost every class has a very large range of students. Some that catch onto new concepts very quickly, and some that take more time to understand. Some that get their work done quickly, and some that may not finish their work. Some are motivated, some are not at all. Some follow the rules perfectly, some do not care for rules at all.
Since I teach grade six, they are in the “preteen” stage where hormones and emotions start to get in the way of relationships and learning. Many people will not teach this grade because it is less of dealing with academics and more dealing with behaviours and attitudes.
I have been through a large amount of struggles in this grade, and even though students have had their “ups and downs”, there are some students who continue to uplift me every day, whether they do it on purpose or not. I could sit and wish for a class that followed every rule I gave them, do everything I say, and never once put up a fight. But what kind of teacher would I be? I would have no students to teach me how to handle different situations, I would have no experience in behaviour management. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d probably love it. But that’s just something I want, not something I need.
One thing that people often don’t understand about teachers, is that there are indeed things that we don’t like about our jobs. The endless paperwork, the struggles with our students, things that make us cry and even sometimes want to give up at the end of the day. But there are moments when our students surprise us. It’s a promise that our hard work pays off. And it is incredible the amount of times these “miracle moments” have happened to me, and to other teachers that I’ve talked to, have completely erased the crying, the stress, and the grey hairs we’ve earned from the struggles with those students.
I have a couple students that have been really negative in the classroom the past few months. I have tried, and tried, and tried to figure out what was going on, but to no avail. I began to think that these two students just couldn’t be together because they fed off of the negativity from each other. It really seemed as if they began to hate me, and quite a bit of the other students noticed it as well. I had a teacher’s mentor in my room for about an hour, and she was able to see who these students were before I had even mentioned anything. It was incredibly obvious.
I cannot express the amount of times I had talked to these students, met with these students, discussed things with the principal, ended my days exhausted and frustrated, ready to pull out my hair, and even ready to cry. It really seemed like there was nothing I could do.
Finally, this week, one of those “miracle moments” happened. I pulled the students out of class because their “obvious hate” had come back, and talking to them together showed no results, no progress. When I talked to them separately, I wanted to cry. One of them immediately broke down crying and poured on me all of the home-life situations that were going on. The other one expressed how they thought I was the one who hated them. All of these things that I had no idea about, or I had been looking at in a much different way. All I can say is I ended that day much differently that I had been. These students let me in, and I understood.
I sometimes have to check with myself if it’s really the student I’m upset with, or if there is something underneath it all that I’m actually dealing with. I don’t expect all students to explain everything going on, but I do maintain a level of acceptance in my class and a level of safety that must be kept. My students know that, and although there are still some behaviour problems (mostly talking or lacking motivation to work), we usually can come to an agreement and understanding.
I encourage all of you that are teachers to take a second-look at your students. Sometimes we just don’t understand what is going on. There are always stories of students who had teacher after teacher hate him/her just because they never really stopped and try to understand the reasons why. Relate to your students, talk to them personally. Don’t be just the “mean teacher”, be someone who cares. Not always, but quite often, you will see a different side, a different light, and a deeper hope for the success of that child.
Calm in Christ and Fitness 