All Fruit Day – Healing Journey Day 37

Journal:
This morning, I didn’t wake up until almost 10:00! Man, I’m enjoying the ability to sleep in. It shall be short-lived as I return to work tomorrow.

I didn’t eat ANYTHING until 2:00 today. My fruit supplies at home were low, and I needed to go get groceries. There are four organic grocery stores in my city, and I frequent three of them (one has awkward parking). So, I made a list for what I will need this week and went out.

It wasn’t until I got to the second grocery that I noticed they had apple samples! Yes! I ate about a quarter of a Fuji apple that was amazingly delicious, and about a quarter of a Red Delicious apple that wasn’t so impressive. Needless to say, I chose Fuji apples to buy. Then, as I was getting ready to checkout, I decided that I should buy something to take with me. So I bought a cup of grapes to take along.

Now, you’ll notice in the picture that I also bought a bottle of water. One thing that I have noticed is that I am NOT consuming water. Yes, fruit is hydrating, but I haven’t been doing well getting in all my calories lately either. So not only am I not eating everything I need to, my body is also being deprived of water which ended up leaving me with the feeling that I needed to pee all day. It was almost like I couldn’t get all the urine out and I know that lack of water causes all kinds of problems in that area, hence, the bottle of water. People, don’t joke around; drink your water!

After I came home and put everything away, I went to the gym and completed about 26.5 minutes on the rowing machine. Now, this is interesting because I use to try using the rowing machine when I ate the typical bodybuilding diet and I HATED it. I don’t think I was ever on one longer than 5 minutes; seriously. And yet, with no rowing experience, after having eaten maybe 150-200 calories so far, I was able to do the 26.5 minutes of rowing with burst intervals (fast/strong pulling reps between slow/easy pulling reps). I was shocked and amazed. There truly is something to this journey about unlocking my own potential and I’m loving it.

When I came home, I went to look at my food sources I had only to discover I didn’t have much that was ripe for today. I guess I kind of overlooked that when planning my grocery shopping. So I ate an apple. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I ate an apple to end my day. So in total today (and this is terrible), I ate 1.5 apples and 1.5 cups of grapes. Yup, I ate hardly anything and it doesn’t make me happy. This is an example of bad planning. Please don’t replicate days like these. On the other hand, this also proves the potential our bodies have and how ridiculous it is that we – as a society – have become so distant and scared of the feeling of hunger. It’s not going to kill us to feel hungry from time-to-time, just not purposefully starving ourselves either.

Now, let’s talk about hair. I said I was going to finally fill you guys in and so let’s do it right now! I have been looking into the no-poo movement. Basically, it explains about all the chemicals we put into our hair which ultimately gets absorbed into our heads. It also discusses how the typical shampoos and conditioners strip our hair of its natural oils and all of the damage we do. So the no-poo movement works towards restoring your hair back to maintaining its own oil balance while using no shampoos and conditioners and washing with simply water.

Now, it doesn’t happen overnight. We have trained our hair to create more oil than it needs to for years, hence the greasiness you feel when you haven’t washed it in so long. So it is quite the process to get your hair to look and feel good without washing it for a long time. Currently, I wash my hair every 4 days with water, and every 12 days with shampoo and conditioner. When I started this 3 months ago, I ended up wearing my hair up a lot because it looked greasy and awful. But now, 3 months later, I only wear my hair up one or two days of those 12 days and it’s awesome. My hair is learning. 🙂

If you’re interested in learning about the no-poo method as well, please Google it! There is so much information out there and it is totally awesome for those who are trying to get back to our natural state. I’m all about keeping as many chemicals as possible away from my body!

Review of Symptoms:
-Surprisingly energetic despite a lack of calories.
-Stamina is so much better!
-Hair is not greasy.
-Acne is awful.
-Digestion on pause… but what can you expect with hardly any food…
-NEED MORE WATER! Caused me to feel like I needed to pee all day without actually having to.

Weight at the end of the day = 169.4 lbs (down 1 lb from yesterday… so excited!! Haven’t seen the 160s in a LONG time!)

Total Calories = 320 (96% carbs, 0% fat, 4% protein… embarrassingly low…)

What in the World is Going On? – Healing Journey Day 20

Journal:
Today was actually a pretty good day. Now, when I say it was a pretty good day, I’m reflecting and realizing that my “good” days have taken on a whole new meaning themselves. A “good” day now would have been a “crazy” day to me before. But I firmly believe in celebrating what is good overall, so I will continue to say that today was a pretty good day.

I managed to eat 2 bananas in the morning. This was a feat. I can’t remember the last time I actually managed to eat before the afternoon. The bananas were ripe and sweet and I was thankful. I was not craving any cooked food whatsoever.

At lunch time, we ran into the first big issue: hot lunch was not ready. I, in no way, blame the person in charge. He was doing the best he could with none of his help showing up. In fact, I felt bad. Being the teacher I am, I decided to move our lunch time to after lunch recess so that there wouldn’t be a huge rush and extra time could be provided. After explaining this to my students, they completely understood.

Before my students came back in from recess, I decided to go see if any help was needed. Instead of giving assistance, they told me to call out my orders according to my list and simply gather what was needed for my class. So that is what I did. I had 8 orders for my class and I worked on transporting everything and having everything prepared for my hungry students to eat when they came in. However, because it was such a rush, I didn’t realize that I had also taken the lunch of a student who had been sent home in the morning. Because it had been handled, the hot lunch could not be returned. So I ended up splitting the lunch with another student whose father had not yet shown up with her lunch. This wasn’t even because I really wanted the lunch to be completely honest. But it was because I have a problem with wasting food. The cheese slice they added to the veggie burger? It definitely came off. Since being vegan, I cannot look at cheese the same way. And for anyone who has not read my other posts, I work in a school that does not serve meat whatsoever, so on any hot lunch day, meat is never an option. Everything is either vegetarian (like pizza days) or vegan, often with the option of either.

So, I didn’t end up with a super heavy feeling which I credit to not eating the whole lunch myself. However, I did not feel as “fresh” either. I’m not enjoying cooked food as much as I thought I would. There really is something to eating raw. I think my biggest struggle right now is that I’m limited to a single fruit per day and I just really want some veggies in there too to give me a break from the sweetness. But that day is coming soon. I just have to keep this up a little longer (especially since the past 3 days haven’t been 100%). Tomorrow, I have to clean up and do a full banana island day.

After lunch, my next big event happened during gym class for my students. The student whose parents still had not shown up with anything for her to eat was keeling over in gym. At this point, I asked if I could go into the canteen and pick a couple more things out for her. I sat with her while she ate the two things we selected. After she returned to gym, I looked at the clock and realized I had only about 5 minutes left until it was time to pick my kids up from gym. So I decided to head back into the kitchen to see if any help was needed in the clean up from hot lunch (again, one person doing everything). As I went in to help, the announcement went for what should have been a lockdown drill. However, a small and yet huge mistake was made. In a rush to fit our drills into the day, the script from the emergency paper was read and instead of using the appropriate words to say that it was just a drill, the script that meant it wasn’t just a drill was used. I can’t even begin to explain the stress and panic that occurred following the use of the wrong script. Thankfully, it ended up being just a drill with the wrong words being read. But as soon as everyone was given the all clear, many teachers ran to find out what happened and I think it is safe to say that this mistake will not happen again.

The rest of the day went fairly well, aside from an earthquake drill we had to practice later in the day. It was not the most productive day at work. But I came away from the day proud of my students and how they handled each situation. I am just happy we were all safe.

Though I did have a meeting of sorts again after school, I was actually home by 6:00 pm. It is a record for the past few weeks. It felt so good to just leave my classroom a mess, not worry about prepping for the next day, and not worrying about having to get up early the next morning to do it all again. I was home, I was safe, and for one evening, work could wait.

I would like to say the rest of the evening went well, but it didn’t. Around 7:00, I started wondering why my husband had not messaged me since lunch. He almost always messages me when he gets home around 6:00. And then I found out what happened.

A year or so ago, my mother-in-law was involved in a massive court case as her assistant had embezzled a bunch of money from the company. As she is second under the owner, she was just as much if not more involved with taking this lady to court than he was. While this was going on, my mother-in-law’s house was broken into: the door was kicked down, things were stolen, etc. Police were involved, the door was taken for fingerprinting, and the house was searched. Nothing ever came from this case, though suspicions were strong. She then installed some cameras along the driveway and put an electric gate at the end of the driveway as well. Nothing seemed to happen after that.

Well, yesterday, someone had come along and not only disconnected everything from her electric gate, but had also unbolted and stolen all of the electric gate equipment. To me, that took someone who had premeditated this as the person would have had to have all the right equipment to do it while also trying to be fast so as not to be caught when someone drove by. Though there is still a slight possibility it was someone looking to make some cash, it doesn’t seem likely.

Not only was that bad enough, the reason my husband had not contacted me was because someone had actually broken into the house again. But instead of just kicking in the door and stealing some things, they had turned on her gas burners and left them running. No, they were not ignited; they were simply turned on so the gas would continue to fill the house. Honestly, this is so much like a tv show. These are things you don’t think will ever happen to you. But this is real life and this is scary beyond belief. The worst part of it all is I had two of my dogs upstairs in a kennel. If they had blown up the house or burned the house down, my dogs would not be alive today. I freaked out. The worst part is, they called the cops, they came and took a look but of course could do nothing. The best advice they gave her was to set up cameras, fix the gate, and attach a sign at the beginning of her property saying that it was under surveillance. Even for myself, I find no comfort in this whatsoever. I think I’m still in shock now, even as I write this. This is one of my “homes”. This is my husband, my mother-in-law, and my dogs. If anything happens to them… I just can’t even fathom right now.

So needless to say, I didn’t leave the house. The gym was the furthest thing from my mind. And though I did manage to eat a total of 5 bananas today, only 2 of those were after I got home. My appetite was far from here. I’m on edge. I just can’t even imagine…

Review of Symptoms:
-Tired
-Stressed
-Not so hungry due to stress
-Cooked food is causing me to feel not as great.
-Acne is the same.
-Haven’t “eliminated” in several days…

Weight at the end of the day = 174.6 lbs (still no weight change)

Total Calories = approx. 1237 (78% carbs, 15% fat, 7% protein… much better ratios today)

Multi-Day Mono-Juice Feasting – Healing Journey Day 6

Journal:
Guys/Gals, I made it! I honestly can’t believe I made it through 5 days without any type of food. Oh my goodness. I was so scared of doing this journey, not sure how I would be able to bypass situations where food would be all around me, or with my students even opening their food for them. But I did it and never even once even picked up a piece of food. I am so proud of how far I’ve made it on this journey.

Now last night, I did manage to sleep pretty much through the night, only waking up once instead of multiple times like the night before. And once again, I woke up feeling like a normal human being. The stomach pain was gone and I was able to get out of bed with no problems this morning! I went straight upstairs and got my first apple juice. 🙂 Yes, for 3 days I will be drinking apple juice. I have always found apple juice easy on my stomach so I figured this would be a great beginning juice for my body.

I, of course, was still a little worried about how my body would react to the apple juice. Though after the first few sips and only a very minor uncomfortable feeling from my stomach, I knew it was going to do down well. Oh how happy I was! The taste of apple juice was so amazing, although I noticed there was a slight off-taste. Come to find out, my tongue was covered in white. I had heard about this happening from dry and water fasters but had not noticed it until today. Yuck. Thankfully, it does come off with either scraping or rigorous tongue brushing. I have a cleaning at the dentist tomorrow and I can only imagine what they would have said to me with a tongue like that!

A question I have been asked is what is the difference between juice “fasting” and “juice feasting.” Juice fasting is where you are on a specified amount of juices (specific calories). Juice feasting is where you are still limited to only juice, but you do not have to stick with a certain caloric guideline. Now of course, you do not want to turn it into juice binging where you are over consuming more than your body wants, but if you know your body well, you should be able to tell when you are really hungry or not. I am choosing to juice feast because I do not believe in limiting calories. Yes, I just spent 5 days eliminating calories from my diet, but that was to fast. If you make a decision to fast, then you are usually doing it for a specific reason outside of weight loss such as for religious reasons or body healing. Since I am spanning the healing spectrum, mine was to experience the healing aspects though I was also intrigued through my walk in Christianity to partake in such a journey because God calls us to take care of our bodies and this journey is hopefully going to help me see how to get my body to be the best that it can be. Plus, as I mentioned in my introduction to this journey, it was also an experiment to see if we can erase the hold that food has on us. Yes, in the long run we depend on food to live; we have to. But instead of not being able to pass by food that is not good for us and simply having intense cravings or even those that can’t help but binge on food because they can’t seem to stop, that is another part of my journey. And so far, I am beating all of those typical situations and for that reason, this journey has been good.

So I managed to actually have a pretty good day at school. Though I seemed to have to talk to my class a little more than normal, one of my toughest students actually had one of his best days today so that alone was phenomenal. And how did the juice treat me? So good. I didn’t feel like falling asleep all the time; I actually did not plan my walks. I didn’t feel like sitting down all the time; I felt confident when I walked. I just felt so much better.

Do I still feel like eating food? You know, my thoughts towards food have decreased a lot. Sure, the nice croissant (I have a student that has been bringing croissants to school everyday) does sound nice, but just having some sweet, delicious, pure apple juice to sip on all day is absolutely amazing. My body can definitely tell that the energy is coming back.

Is my apple juice fresh pressed? Unfortunately no. In fact, the apple juice I have for today and tomorrow are not even organic. I did my best to find juices that were organic, but the price difference is astronomical. So you will see that most of my juices are organic, but today’s and tomorrow’s are not. The one qualification for my juices were that they had to only include one ingredient: the ingredient being whichever fruit whose juice I was drinking that day.

So, I’m going to hand out a TMI WARNING again because this next part is not so pretty. I will keep it to one paragraph. I don’t really enjoy sharing these parts because they can be considered “gross”, but incase someone does decide to embark on this journey or one similar, I want you to be prepared for things that can happen. If you read my day 5 entry, you will notice that I couldn’t “eliminate”. Well, to my horror/surprise, I don’t even have to try today. Lo’ and behold, it’s essentially a watery liquid. Yes, I know it’s graphic. It did go back to normal by the end of the day, but the first half of the day was the adjustment period. My stomach “gurgled” more than I think it has ever gurgled before with the adjustment of an “energy source” coming back into its system. It made today a little trickier since I’m obviously working but I managed to take a tiny break away from the classroom whenever I needed it so it worked out alright.

So after I came home, I actually did not feel tired at all! However, I did lay down to watch some YouTube again, and noticed the beginning of that awful acid reflux/heartburn feeling again. Thankfully, it didn’t really turn into anything.

I did get up and go to the gym, although I kind of wondered afterwards if I should have done the cardio or not. I did 30 minutes of easy stationary cycling. The reason being, remember that clenching of muscles feeling I described previously? I had that feeling bad tonight. The best way I can think to describe it is to imagine doing a crunch with all of your ab muscles straining, then someone punching you. But instead of being repetitious, it was a continuous state. Now that is a feeling for the books but one that I hope goes away soon. Yes, I did try bending backwards to stretch my abs and to see if my stomach muscles would pull, but they didn’t meaning they weren’t actually always engaged. For some reason that was just the feeling I was having.

For the first time all week, I actually felt tired. I tried to stay up past 11, but my eyes were fighting me. As much as I still wanted to do things, this actually made me happy because instead of me having to decide when I go to bed because I’m not “that tired”, my body actually was acting normal and demanded sleep. This I can appreciate.

Review of Symptoms:
Acne is worse and yet the same. The pimples are still more pale than before, but I have tiny bumps all over my face. I’m not appreciating it. But I have also heard of this happening as a detox byproduct. There is a reason why the saying goes: It will get worse before it gets better. My tongue was COVERED in a white substance. Again, this is something I’ve heard is associated with detox so tongue scraping is now something I have to do. I haven’t reported this in awhile, but my skin still stays red more easily than before. My hair is still less greasy than it normally would be by this point. Had more energy, feeling stronger. Internal “movement” was much easier today. Heartburn/acid reflux was only the most minimal while laying down this evening. I had a constant feeling of ab muscle clenching while a dull ache of a punch to the stomach at the same time that lasted throughout the evening. My body actually demanded sleep around 11:00 pm which is awesome!

Weight at the end of the day = 180.8 lbs (0 lbs down in 24 hours, total of 8 lbs down in 5 days)

Total Calories = 1811.2 (99% carbs, 1% protein, 0% fat)

Dry Fasting – Healing Journey Day 2

Journal:
This morning was rough. I’m not gonna lie. After having such an energetic and fairly normal day yesterday, I seriously think I could have laid in bed and slept on and off all day. I did NOT want to get up this morning whatsoever. I was a little hungry, but even more so, I was extremely thirsty. Part of the reason may be the heater I’ve been turning off and on in my basement room; it seems to dry things out. But nonetheless, it was harder to concentrate and move. Interestingly enough, my hands were also incredibly shaky. I just wanted to lay around with zero energy.

I finally made myself get up and get moving around 2:00 in the afternoon. One of the local organic stores had a 15% off sale going on today so I wanted to see what juices they had to break my fast with. I am so thankful I had that motivation because I honestly had to drag myself out of bed to go take a shower. The shower was nice and refreshing, but even after I was done getting ready, I stumbled up the stairs. I was not enjoying the energy-less feelings.

Driving, I seemed to be ok. I purposefully wore capris today because I knew it was rainy and grey outside so the extra exposure to the elements would wake me up a little more.

I thoroughly enjoyed grocery shopping for juice. I’m not planning on starting juice fasting until Thursday, but I figured that if the deals were on today, might as well get prepared! I ended up going to 3 grocery stores and thankfully somehow ending up with the best prices of each type of juice I bought. I got quite a few, though was very tired again when I finally got back home.

When I got back home, the decision had to be made whether I was going to go to the gym or not. I actually decided to go, though it took a lot of time and mental convincing to get myself there. Once I got there, I actually found it decently easy to get through a small ab workout and then a 30 minute walk on the treadmill. Normally, I would do more than just abs and something a little more intense for cardio. But knowing the condition I had been in most of the day, I figured I better not push too hard since I’m not even consuming water to replenish what is lost.

Oddly enough, since the workout, I’ve felt a million times better. This is something I definitely did not expect. I figured I would be toast and done in for early for the night, but amazingly feel so much better. I came home and got laundry going right away, took in two loads from the car, and am able to concentrate on the few things I need to get done for tomorrow. It is so comforting to be feeling better because I was honestly getting worried about teaching tomorrow with the way I felt this morning. But feeling the way I do this afternoon, I know I can do it.

This is my last day of dry fasting as planned and I have a bottle of water beside my bed to drink first thing when I wake up tomorrow morning. I’m hoping/expecting that my body will celebrate the taste of water; I’m excited to find out. I’m not sure how my body will react as I continue with 3 more days without food as I move into a water fast, but I can only imagine the effect that simply adding water back in to my body will have.

Review of symptoms:
I haven’t noticed too much difference in my face. In fact, I noticed at the gym that my face got red much more easily when breathing in a more forceful way to help with the ab exercise repetitions. I have not had my face do this in forever, if ever. Of course, I’ve been going around with a noticeable feeling in my stomach; it’s not really painful but definitely noticeable. I’m not sure whether it is hunger, thirst, or something else. It’s definitely something I can live with; very mild. The shaking has gone away for the most part since my workout; it was really bad this morning. Being able to actually sit down and be able to work and focus on something rather than fighting my thoughts to sleep like I did this morning is really nice too. My hair is not as greasy as it normally would be at this point which tells me that the junk food and greasy food definitely affects how much oil is in your hair.

Weight at the end of day 2 = 185.4 lbs (down 3.4 lbs in 24 hours)

Total Calories = 0

Focus Change: From Weight to Health

I’ve almost been vegan for a year. Can you believe it? Time has gone by so quickly, and I don’t regret a second of it! So I thought I’d fill you in on my progress, and something that switched mentally along the way.

When I first went vegan, in the end of June/beginning of July 2015, I went through a week of major withdrawal; not from animal products, but from cheese! My husband ate nachos almost daily, and the smell of melted cheese would be ever so tempting. So how did I combat it? By having a piece of fruit in my hand and shoving it in my mouth… lol. You do what you have to do.

From there, it got easier. However, since I was so excited about this vegan world, I started looking for everything vegan in the grocery stores. I subscribed to a local Organic Box delivery which was the greatest thing because then I was able to select organic produce to be delivered weekly so that I always had fruit and veggies available. But as the fall came, things changed.

In the colder weather, I wanted cooked foods all the time. No problem, really. You can easily be a cooked food vegan. But, with a few complications in starting up my next school year, I started grabbing denser calorie, fast food. This meant hitting much too much of the shelves and freezers in the grocery stores. Not only was I excited that so many things were vegan, but I was able to try so many vegan products. Let’s just say, I was not paying attention to the macronutrient breakdown in any of them. My diet was very high in fat.

Now, I was already mentally transitioning from a person who had heavily counted calories, starved myself to lose weight, and pretty much obsessed with being thin to someone who was just concerned about being healthier for myself and doing what I felt God was calling me to do. That didn’t make it any easier when I found my weight still climbing. I was eating all that I cared for, reaching a state of being full but not being stuffed. I felt pretty well, but I knew the weight gain was not what I wanted. However, I continued on because it was easy to do.

Christmas came, and I was so excited to travel to the states to try some new vegan restaurants. They were AMAZING. But it hit me when my mother-in-law had to ask my husband if she should even bother asking me if I wanted to sort through some clothes of hers before she donated them. That told me right away everyone noticed my weight gain. I started to feel pretty bad.

The following two months presented me with some of the greatest stress I have had in quite awhile. My husband left for school in the states, I moved our entire apartment myself, making appointments to sell items along the way. As soon as things were finally moved, I had to prepare report cards. As soon as that was over, I had to prepare for parent-teacher interviews. Needless to say, I got really sick after that. I literally did not have a single break, and as happy as I was to be leaving our old place, I hit the point of nostalgia as it was emptied and I was doing it alone. Emotional ups and downs, zero rest, and not eating was a recipe for disaster, and a time to hit my highest weight. I knew things had to change.

I was not giving up veganism, that was not an issue. Veganism had made me feel better about pretty much everything. In fact, when I was not reminded about my weight gain, I actually felt amazing. But I knew I could do better.

With my husband in school, and I taking on all of our bills, the money was cinched tight. I had/have a very small budget which meant all those vegan junk foods were few and far between. I actually had to start cooking again! And you know what? I felt even better than before. I found out that my greatest eating pattern is eating raw throughout the day (mostly fruit) and eating a cooked meal in the evening. The cooked meal ranges from pasta to potatoes to veggies and vegan proteins, to vegan sushi, to cream of wheat, to sandwiches. They are not complicated at all, and are whole-food based. I feel vibrant and amazing and have even found a 6-day pattern of attending the gym again. And that’s when it happened: I started caring less about my weight gain.

I knew I was bigger than I wanted to be, but I chose to trust the system. People have been through this before; I’m not the only one. God’s original diet for us was the fruits of the earth, and I was closer than ever to following that diet. I began to pray for God to not only bless my food before I ate it, but to bless my efforts in trying to eat the way He designed for us, and for my results to show to others that this is His design as well. I began to pray before workouts for the same thing. And then I continued to eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full, except this time, it was whole plant foods from home.

You know what? In less than two months, I am down 14 pounds from my heaviest. Did I cut calories at all? No. In fact, I have been logging my food everyday just to see how much I’m eating. Some days, I’m not very hungry and I only eat around 1500 calories. I don’t like to go lower than this, so that does involve an some extra food I probably wouldn’t have otherwise eaten. Some days, I’m super hungry and can eat over 3000 calories. I’m not starving my body anymore. I’m giving it the healthy nutrition it needs, and it’s working.

I’ve always worked out which you’ll see if you have followed this blog for quite awhile, so that has not changed. I’m currently doing 3 full-body circuits a week with 3 cardio sessions between and 1 rest day. I’m getting stronger, and my endurance is better. I absolutely love it.

So I’m continuing on my vegan journey, in love with it greatly. My father has started his own fitness journey and to my surprise, displayed a picture of a blender with raw vegan protein powder. He’s been making banana/protein smoothies. It’s a huge step! My mother has been trying to cut down on the animal consumption within the house, and a coworker of mine has just begun her own vegan journey as well. More and more I’m realizing that people are waking up to the reality of how great a vegan diet is, for health reasons, beliefs, ethical and environmental reasons. It is truly the greatest. And though weight loss is awesome, it beats nothing to knowing your body is healthy and going to last you a little longer. When you eat healthy, the body releases the fat that is not good. It’s a slow process, and already within the two months, I’ve had over a week of being stalled on the exact same weight. But I continued nonetheless, and it paid off with a lower weight break in the end. So take courage. If I can do this, you can too. Start researching and be awakened to the world of truth that is out there. It’s truly amazing how deceiving the world is. Get to the nitty gritty and find out for yourself; the only regret you’ll have is that you didn’t do it sooner.

Gym Rest Time: A Problem and My Solution

When I workout by myself, I take very little rest time. I usually race myself to see how fast I can do my next set. But when I workout with my husband, he likes me to take longer breaks so I can have better recovery to put stronger effort in my next set. Both have benefits, but I have a hard time waiting around during those longer rests. So here is what I do.

I take my phone.

No, I’m not the person who is “not using the machine and just sitting on her phone”. I literally would be banging out my sets until I simply couldn’t lift anymore if I didn’t have my phone to distract me. It’s the only source of “sitting time” that I have.

I know, it’s a bad problem. I will admit, I’ve been getting better at just sitting and realizing the appreciation of silence and being still during recovery, but on days when I just want to get my workout done, my cell phone is my reminder to slow down.

What about you? Do you take longer rests or are you a quick recovery like me? Do you have any problems taking time to rest? I’d love to hear your comments below!

When You Know You’re In The Right Place

I had an amazing experience yesterday and I thought I’d share it with you all as some of you may be blessed by something similar to what I was.

I went to a church that I’m definitely not a stranger to. I went there all the time as a youth, knew the senior pastor well, and have been teaching for a few years with the pastor’s wife. There are two churches in my city that I consider “home”, and this is one of them. I still go there every so often. But yesterday seemed so different.

When everything was going against me, and the devil truly was trying to distract me as much as possible so I wouldn’t make it to church, I was embarrassed  to find out I was almost 10 minutes late. I hate being late. And so naturally, I was down on myself for not making it there on time. But when I went through the front doors, the greeter who was trying to pay attention to the song service, raced right over, gave me such a welcoming greeting, and offered me a bulletin. I know the greeters are normally nice, but it seemed a little extra today.

I then went over to the doors to enter the sanctuary and a man raced over saying, “Let me get the doors for you.” Wow! Talk about such friendly service today.

I then went and sat down by myself. The row in front of me was full. I was thankful I hadn’t missed all of song service because it’s my favourite part. I seem to connect with Christ the best with worship music. There’s just something about a whole congregation of people coming together to sing praises to God.

Worship service concluded, the sermon proceeded, and everything went well. But it was after closing prayer, as everyone was getting up to leave, that the man directly in front of me turned around and told me what a beautiful voice I had. He waited throughout the entire sermon to tell me that! But to make matters even more special, let me give you a little background.

Someone very close to me used to love hearing me sing. I am definitely a person who needs encouraging words, and so when someone says that kind of thing to me, it means a lot. The past couple years, this person has gone so far as to tell me to stop singing and that I ruin music when I sing along to it. There’s been a lot of hurt over it, but as per everything else, I just learn to deal with it.

Now fast forward to the first person in years, a complete stranger, who took the time and effort to tell me I had a beautiful singing voice. Can you imagine how refreshing that was for me to hear? I almost cried. But instead all I could do is say the biggest thank you. Truly, despite being late, despite the devil trying to prevent me from going to church, church was truly the right place for me to be. ❤

Why the Name “Christian” Can Cause Such Anger

I’ve delayed in writing this blog post. The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. Not because I’m cleaning up my classroom, preparing for a new grade, but because the world has changed ever so quickly, and I needed to make sure my own emotions were not mixing and leading my thoughts but that rather my beliefs were the driving force behind my words.

When I decided I wanted to turn vegan, I thought what better place to learn than to join vegan groups on Facebook where people are continuously discussing ways of doing things better and on improving lifestyles. What better place would you get a mix of people who are starting out in their vegan adventure, as well as though who are tried and true veterans to the lifestyle. I did enjoy these facts, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, I don’t know how you could have missed it), but the states have just legalized same sex marriage. To some people it’s no surprise, to some people it’s a reason to lash out, and to some people it’s a reason to celebrate. I was prepared for those reactions. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anger backing people’s responses. And it took a few days for me to truly understand what was going on.

Unfortunately, one of my vegan groups posted about this legalization and stated that you will never find a “homophobe vegan”. A man simply stated (though not in words I would have used) that he was not a “phobe” by the meaning of the word “phobia” as in being scared. He simply was using Biblical pieces to back-up the point that he did not support the movement. The backlash he received was incredible. And as I noticed he was the only one defending his beliefs, I decided to try and approach the conversation in a loving but understanding way. You see, I’ve noticed people are very quick to criticize Christian beliefs as being old and not modern day. But I knew that this is often because Christians have made a bad name for themselves.

I once saw a conversation where Christians were attacking an atheist. I could see where her comments and attacks were coming from. I couldn’t stand Christians reacting in this kind of way so I entered the conversation as well and simply responded to her questions and comments in a loving, non-judgemental way. It took quite awhile, but believe it or not, she thanked me for talking to her the way I did and explaining things the way I had. Of course she assured me she wouldn’t become Christian anytime soon, but that wasn’t the point of my discussion. The basis of my discussion was love.

So I figured that maybe if love was presented the right way in this vegan conversation, then maybe the hatred I was seeing would dissipate and the group could go back to the original purpose of becoming vegan and standing for animal rights. However, I’m sad to say it did not work that way. No matter how many times I reassured that none of the Christians in the conversation weren’t hating them nor judging them (all 2 of us), they served critique after critique back. No matter how many times I assured them that Christians should be focused on loving and loving all people, hate was served back. No matter how much love I tried to show about loving people but not supporting decisions they make, I was not supported. I even told them that the God of the world, Himself, has given us the power to choose what we do, regardless if we choose sin or not, and thus everyone in the world should have the power to choose what they want without anybody telling them otherwise, I was still considered judgemental. I brought up how I have a great uncle who has been a married gay my whole life and how I love him dearly and will never treat him otherwise, but that I do not support his lifestyle, I was still considered a “homophobe”. I was called a jerk, ingenious, told to take a nap, told I have mental sickness, that somehow someone loved me but in the same sentence told me everything I am is a sin, that God was going to send me to hell to burn for eternity, etc. And I was reminded again and again how listening to a 2000 year old book is so wrong.

I was not prepared for the hardness of hearts I was presented with. This is why I did not write this blog when I first thought of it. In fact, it’s been sitting as a tab for the past however many days since the law was passed. I’ve changed the name 3 times. I needed time to sort through what was going on, and to make sure my emotions were in check. And now I think I’m ready to help explain where I think things have gone wrong.

There happens to be a girl many years younger than I who was feeling the same way I was – being attacked by so many people, being pushed with no rest, exhausted from having to defend herself. The message came clearly in her Facebook post and the response from someone questioning the selection of beliefs, specifically pertaining to the lack of support on the same sex marriage issue.

I really thought about it before I posted this time, and I provided a very prominent issue among different Christians about the “clean” and “unclean” foods. I stated it as the fact that many Christians don’t support eating pork. Some claim that because it is an Old Testament law, that we no longer have to follow that distinction. Although many Christians disagree on this issue, we don’t hate our own family members just because they eat differently than ourselves. The best way to influence anyone in a positive way is through a loving manner. I also added that I grew up as a hunter’s daughter. When I turned vegetarian, my grandfather was convinced I would die. In fact, for the almost 10 years I was vegetarian, the very first question he would ask me is if I was healthy and had gone back to eating meat yet. The amount he would try to sneak meat onto my plate was crazy. He did not support my eating habits whatsoever. But he never stopped loving me. In fact, I can’t recall a day in my life where I did not feel loved by my grandfather, and that’s the way it should be.

To go a little further than that, she said she was going to put it bluntly and ask how same sex relationships is one law we believe from the Old Testament, but there were a host of others such as wearing jewelry, having tattoos, and premarital sex were things most Christians don’t follow anymore, yet we can choose to not stand for the same sex marriage issue.

This is where it truly sank in. The reason I believe that most people are so angry with Christians and our beliefs is because we have compromised on so much! Seriously, look around at your churches. I know for a fact that people drink, do drugs, party, have non-marrital sex with people regardless of being married or not, have problems with pornography, steal, cheat people out of money, etc, etc… There are people in almost every church who are the kings and queens of gossip. Churches are seen as judgemental because they’ve become that way. What have we done to ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying that all churches or even all people are this way. I do believe we have the sweetest, loving Christians still on this earth, and unfortunately that’s something we desperately need more of. But when Christians in themselves are out in the world claiming to be Christian and yet are caught in such horrible acts, what else is the world to think of us? Can you really blame people for hosting anger when they grew up in a church but like my sister, left because people were judging the clothing she wore? Do you really think that made her feel at home rather than winning her over with love? Personally, I’m ashamed at some of the things we’ve done to people. We should be opening our doors and welcoming, not just greeting, but truly welcoming people into our midst with the goal of letting love take over. When Jesus saved the prostitute, or sat with the tax collectors, you don’t see Him attacking them. He loved them and that’s what created the difference. Why can’t we do the same?

Of course I’m not saying we should kick out all of the people who are having problems either. What better place to receive help with healing than a church family, as long as we are being just that – a loving and supportive family.

Now, I know my beliefs may differ from yours, and that’s ok. Like I said, I have no judgement. The Bible, unfortunately, is not the most easily understood book at times, and some is left to our interpretation though hopefully somewhat unfolded with divine help (always pray before reading the Bible!). So yes, topics like jewelry and tattoos are a little more difficult to defend for some. However, I know the Bible clearly points out that our bodies are the living temples for the Holy Spirit, and we are to take care of them to the best of our abilities. Putting needles unnecessarily into my body, causing a stain that God did not put there in the first place that is ridiculous to remove, and putting holes all over my body does not seem like preserving the “holy temple” as God stated it. To me, that is clear enough definition as to why those are not the best idea. Jewelry that does not require holes (such as necklaces, rings, and bracelets) are a little more in the grey area. However, if you look at history, you will see that only the rich, and those who placed themselves above others wore jewelry. So at the time, it made total sense that jewelry was a way to separate the classes of people, and as far as I’ve read in my Bible, God doesn’t view us that way, nor does He want us to develop an attitude of being better than others. So to me, that makes sense. When it comes to premarital sex, it’s a no-brainer to me. You don’t need a Bible to tell you it’s not the best idea. Look up science reports and the reactions in the brain with sex. Look up psychology reports. The more sex you have before marriage, the less you are bringing to your marriage. Imagine if everything was brand new coming into your marriage. No past relationships to discuss, no past comparisons to make, nothing bad to bring into your forever relationship. I think in a way, we’ve lost sight of how sacred and special marriage was supposed to be. It was a union, a joining of two people. And in Mark 10:9, it states clearly, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” We say vows, vows that are actually supposed to mean something. God blessed the union between husband and wife and specifically said that NO MAN (that means nobody on this earth) should be able to separate that union. I don’t know about you, but there are an awful lot of divorces going on. A lot of “man” separating what God told us not to. And that’s in the New Testament, not even the old.

Again, I hope you are not taking offence to this. I am the product of a divorced family who married other divorced people. Divorce is around me, and although I love my family more dearly than anything, I will fight with all I have to preserve my marriage union because I believe that is what is right. (I may continue this conversation at another time. It’s a whole separate Bible study.)

So those are my thoughts. I’m not sure if Christians will ever recover. If we’re going to stand for our beliefs, we need to learn not to compromise. No, it’s not easy being criticized. If anything, becoming vegan has opened my eyes to a whole new way of being criticized (not enough protein, not losing weight fast enough, not going to be healthy, etc…). But if you truly believe in something and seek to receive the rewards at the end, then you need to stand for whatever it is. But remember to stand in a loving way. Hate is fuel to the fire, but love (usually) softens the hardest of hearts. So speak to and treat each other in love, regardless of what a person chooses, but stay strong to yourself and don’t compromise on the beliefs you hold. Nobody in this world has the right to force their beliefs on people. But rather, keep an open ear and seek to find the Truth, and once you have the Truth, hold on to it. As humans, we are master justifiers, master liars, and master convincers. Don’t let someone talk you out of being yourself and believing what you’ve sought to be true.

For another pastor’s perspective, I found this to be a good, well-written, loving read with Biblical back-up.
http://todaychristian.net/a-detailed-explanation-of-why-christians-dont-accept-gay-marriage/

The Comfort of a Gray, Rainy Day

Yesterday morning, I jumped in my car like usual. I drove to the end of the driveway like usual, and turned down our street like usual. But something was slightly unusual about today, and that was the atmosphere around me.

I normally have the radio tuned into our local Christian station, but my husband had taken my car to the gym the night before without me. So instead, I turned on the ignition to the beginning of the song, “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa. I normally don’t like his music, but with the impact this song had, especially at the end of the latest Fast and Furious. I really, really like this song. Mix that song, with gray skies, and light rain. Perfection. A certain mood attained. Just right for this moment.

When I was younger, my mother always drove when she was upset. In fact, we probably spent more time on the road than we ever did at home. Whether it was driving at the end of the school week to visit my grandparents, and then waiting until the morning of school to get up extra early and drive back in time to meet our bus, we were always on the road. It was a way of life.

My favourite was always being in the passenger seat while my mother was driving, when the skies were dark and there was a light rain with the radio on. To me, that speaks comfort. To me, that speaks perfection. To me, that speaks home. I may be a case of a kid who never really knew what home was. I may be a case of a person who has a distorted way of looking at things. But as an adult, I feel that in my confusion and unstable life, I have found the very things that can be stable, that can be comforting, no matter what season of life one may be in.

So call me crazy, or whatever you please. But I have security in the fact I have experienced so much in life. I’ve been through troubling places, I’ve lived and experienced so many different cultures and schools. I have been dragged through the fire multiple times, and yet I can tell you exactly how not to fall apart when others may possibly see no way out.

I’m not a person who has despised my childhood, but rather a person who is thankful for learning what is most important to survive whatever may come in an adult life. You can plan your life, you can plan your job, your spouse, your schooling, etc… But plans rarely work out the way they are supposed to. The one thing you can prepare is your reactions, your attitude, and your stability. If you have that, with God by your side, it won’t matter whether money is an obstacle or struggle. Because you’ve already learned how to deal with change before.

It pays to be happy with the little things in life, because it’s the little things that will keep you going. So learn now what makes you happy, learn now how to react to change. Find comfort in the things that are stable to you, even if it’s driving in a car on a gray, rainy day.

Day 14

I did not sleep well at all last night. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I was literally paranoid about everything (didn’t help my dog barked, and the neighbour decided to turn on their tv which just happens to be on the opposite side of the same wall where my head is). It was a very, very restless night.

This morning, I had to literally drag myself out of bed, and thus was very rushed getting ready. I am also being evaluated by my principal today, so there’s just so much going through my head.

For the morning, and on into lunch, I’ve been drinking away 1.75L of pulpy orange juice. I knew today would be a rushed mess, so I planned accordingly on ease of intake. The orange juice is easy to sip away.

It was a very stressful day, not just with the lack of sleep, but also with my evaluation in the afternoon. I only snacked on one banana for the afternoon. It was really not turning out to be a good day.

My evaluation went ok, though I don’t get my results back right away. I was starving and not focussed or anything by the time the end of the day hit. I just wanted to go home. I wrapped up things as soon as I could, and I went home.

Once I got home, I took a few minutes just to chill and debrief. It was a day I didn’t really want to repeat again. After I felt a bit better, I ate two chocolate and coconut vegan granola bars, and a pot of rice that I added a spoon of vegan cream cheese and some nutritional yeast flakes to. It gave me the nutrition I needed to feel better, and to fuel up for the gym.

I had a great workout. I did a hard circuit of ISO explosive squats, lunges, planks, overhead squats and push-ups. I then did 35 minutes of hard cycling on the stationary bike. I was WIPED by the time I was done, but I was so proud I finished!

Upon coming home, I took out a huge watermelon that I had, and managed to eat a quarter of it. Watermelon fills me up so fast! I then finished the night with some more of my fresh mango cake topped with coconut yogurt.

You know, it makes a total difference in how I feel based on what I eat. When I eat cleaner, I feel better. When I eat a ton of junk, I feel like junk. After that last pizza binge, I weighed 8 pounds more the next day. It just goes to show how that much grease and slow digesting stuff really can mess with you. I gotta stay on the clean train!

My husband also had a really garlicky cheese pizza, and I was so tempted just to take one little piece or bite. But I conquered! I can do this!