Dry Fasting – Healing Journey Day 2

Journal:
This morning was rough. I’m not gonna lie. After having such an energetic and fairly normal day yesterday, I seriously think I could have laid in bed and slept on and off all day. I did NOT want to get up this morning whatsoever. I was a little hungry, but even more so, I was extremely thirsty. Part of the reason may be the heater I’ve been turning off and on in my basement room; it seems to dry things out. But nonetheless, it was harder to concentrate and move. Interestingly enough, my hands were also incredibly shaky. I just wanted to lay around with zero energy.

I finally made myself get up and get moving around 2:00 in the afternoon. One of the local organic stores had a 15% off sale going on today so I wanted to see what juices they had to break my fast with. I am so thankful I had that motivation because I honestly had to drag myself out of bed to go take a shower. The shower was nice and refreshing, but even after I was done getting ready, I stumbled up the stairs. I was not enjoying the energy-less feelings.

Driving, I seemed to be ok. I purposefully wore capris today because I knew it was rainy and grey outside so the extra exposure to the elements would wake me up a little more.

I thoroughly enjoyed grocery shopping for juice. I’m not planning on starting juice fasting until Thursday, but I figured that if the deals were on today, might as well get prepared! I ended up going to 3 grocery stores and thankfully somehow ending up with the best prices of each type of juice I bought. I got quite a few, though was very tired again when I finally got back home.

When I got back home, the decision had to be made whether I was going to go to the gym or not. I actually decided to go, though it took a lot of time and mental convincing to get myself there. Once I got there, I actually found it decently easy to get through a small ab workout and then a 30 minute walk on the treadmill. Normally, I would do more than just abs and something a little more intense for cardio. But knowing the condition I had been in most of the day, I figured I better not push too hard since I’m not even consuming water to replenish what is lost.

Oddly enough, since the workout, I’ve felt a million times better. This is something I definitely did not expect. I figured I would be toast and done in for early for the night, but amazingly feel so much better. I came home and got laundry going right away, took in two loads from the car, and am able to concentrate on the few things I need to get done for tomorrow. It is so comforting to be feeling better because I was honestly getting worried about teaching tomorrow with the way I felt this morning. But feeling the way I do this afternoon, I know I can do it.

This is my last day of dry fasting as planned and I have a bottle of water beside my bed to drink first thing when I wake up tomorrow morning. I’m hoping/expecting that my body will celebrate the taste of water; I’m excited to find out. I’m not sure how my body will react as I continue with 3 more days without food as I move into a water fast, but I can only imagine the effect that simply adding water back in to my body will have.

Review of symptoms:
I haven’t noticed too much difference in my face. In fact, I noticed at the gym that my face got red much more easily when breathing in a more forceful way to help with the ab exercise repetitions. I have not had my face do this in forever, if ever. Of course, I’ve been going around with a noticeable feeling in my stomach; it’s not really painful but definitely noticeable. I’m not sure whether it is hunger, thirst, or something else. It’s definitely something I can live with; very mild. The shaking has gone away for the most part since my workout; it was really bad this morning. Being able to actually sit down and be able to work and focus on something rather than fighting my thoughts to sleep like I did this morning is really nice too. My hair is not as greasy as it normally would be at this point which tells me that the junk food and greasy food definitely affects how much oil is in your hair.

Weight at the end of day 2 = 185.4 lbs (down 3.4 lbs in 24 hours)

Total Calories = 0

Vegan Journey Update

Ok. I have LOVED seeing everyone’s vegan success posts! I fully believe in a vegan lifestyle and have taken much backlash for it. I began my vegan journey in June/July 2015. I had a week’s transition where I was battling cravings for cheese. Who knew I’d hit severe withdrawal over a food.

At first, I was leaning towards a more RawTill4 version, but found also that I had addictions to cooked lunches. So then it was more of a raw breakfast with cooked meals afterwards.

I did alright until the fall when I started teaching again and began buying a lot more pre-made vegan foods and trying more vegan junk foods.

Prior to all of this, I had won a fitness competition at my lowest weight of 129 lbs (I believe… my husband seems to remember a different number in the 120 lbs range). I won free coaching for two months and did fairly well continuing to stick with an extremely low carb, higher protein and moderate fat meal plan but my results stalled and as I started avoiding meals just so I didn’t have to keep eating the same things, my results started to reverse.

I found a group on FB with a coach that designed his own workout plans and diet. Many people have seen results on his plans, so I decided to enter this challenge as well. About half way through, I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being unhappy with my food. I was tired of always restricting. And when I finally asked the coach why I was no longer losing weight, he told me to cut my calories down even more. I think I thought about it for two days before deciding that I’m not doing this anymore and I’m going to “intuitive eat”.

Now, my intuitive eating was not a binging session. I don’t think I’ve ever binged. But I did start eating whatever foods I wanted with no regards to macro counting. Obviously this included more cheese for my cheese addiction. Needless to say, I started gaining weight.

After awhile, I started being so unhappy because I knew something was wrong and that there had to be something better for our bodies than this. With my dissatisfaction, and being vegetarian for many years before entering the bodybuilding/fitness world, I started looking at being vegan. I researched for days, watched YouTube videos by the hour. I finally had found what made sense to me. Hence my journey began in June/July 2015.

Though I’ve enjoyed the success stories, I’ve always wondered what was going wrong. When I first switched to vegan, my weight slowly kept creeping up until I hit my all-time high over Christmas at 196 lbs. Sure, it’s easy to say you shouldn’t worry about the weight, but from winning my competition at 129 lbs to gaining up to 196 lbs, I’m sure you can understand the mental troubles this can give you, especially when your husband thinks your current diet is to blame.

Deep in my heart, I knew this was the right way to eat so I didn’t give up. Sure, I indulged a little in junk over Christmas Break since we went on vacation to Colorado, but I never quit being vegan, and at home I have been cooking more than before and eating as much whole, plant-based foods as possible.

Since Christmas, I just wanted to see the scale move down into the 180s. That’s not a huge fat loss, but enough for some confirmation. Since Christmas, I have found my all-time best routine. I get up at 4 am, go to the gym, do my workout fasted: usually 1 to 1 1/2 hours of weights and 30 minutes of cardio, come home, eat breakfast because I’m usually starving after the gym, take care of my dogs, get stuff ready for my husband, get myself ready for work, go to work (elementary teacher), come home or stay at work after and do what needs to be done. It honestly gives me so much energy for the day. Yes, physically I have felt a difference for sure! No more coffee, never tired except for at night, no stomach issues, etc.

Yesterday in the gym, while doing lateral raises, I thought I noticed a slight difference in my chest/shoulder area. My shoulder muscles are starting to show again like they used to (though there is still fat covering them that needs to go). Then when I was doing shrugs, I noticed the top half of my stomach area (chest down to “love handles”) is actually slim (I carry all my fat in my bottom part of my stomach). For once, I could see/vision myself athletically fit and not stare at myself with criticism. However, I will say that until this point, the scale had barely moved (though I do not check everyday).

This morning, and yes, I know the scale isn’t everything, but what I saw was confirmed. I am back on the 180s side at 189! 7 1/2 months of keeping faith that this is the right way, and I’m finally starting to see results and not just feel them. I am so happy!

I just wanted to share my story for anyone else who may get frustrated that their weight is not coming off. Being active and eating whole foods is honestly the best way to go. You will feel the results first, and that’s what counts. The physical results will come later. I haven’t had a blood test done yet to make sure all of my levels are ok, but that is on my to-do list. All I know is I feel great, my strength and endurance have actually increased in the gym, and I will never eat/live another way again!

Life Update: School, Veganism, Gym, Dogs, Neighbour, New Car, My Niece

It has been so long since I’ve written, and I am so very sorry. Life has a way of getting away from you, that’s for sure!

There are so many things to cover in my update, but I will try to keep them short!

School

The school year started in a rush. I still wasn’t settled in my new position of grade 2 teacher (I’ve been in grade 6 for 4 years). I wasn’t able to move into my classroom officially until the day before school started. So it was a whirlwind of a set-up and start to the year. Books didn’t come in on time, I wasn’t able to go through all of my resources during the summer because everything was boxed to move and then my classroom had work done. What a crazy, crazy start to the year.

Fast forward to now, and I finally feel settled in. Of course, it’s a new curriculum, and teaching grade 2 is nothing like teaching grade 6, but I appreciate it now. I am so much busier than I was in grade 6, I never have a spare minute for anything, but I like my new place and I love my students, so I am happy for the change.

Veganism

I’m still a vegan. However, with the crazy start to the year, the deadlines and all of that teacher-related stuff, my diet became one of convenience. I buy the pre-made vegan pizzas and all of that pre-made junk. I have gained way too much weight just for convenience. I hate it. I don’t like the way I look. I hate that my clothes are tight. I hate the way I even feel after eating the junk. I’m in the transition to a much better vegan diet. I’m cleaning it up by going back to more veggies and fruit, trying to get in one juice every morning. I just feel better when my food is fresh and I am in control of all the additives that is in my food. Fresh is best people!

Gym

My husband and I fell off the gym wagon. We just didn’t go when we should have, we got lazy, we just didn’t do what was good. So, this past week I’ve start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. I did buy 2 ellipticals (used), but I don’t have room in my house yet (working on it!). So I still drive to the gym in the mornings to do 20 minutes of cardio. I then sneak in the afternoon/evening to the gym to do weight lifting. Unfortunately, that means I don’t really workout with my husband so much anymore, but he is not a morning person, and quite frankly, I do so much better in the mornings. So this is what works!

Dogs

I’m still dreaming of a yard that my dogs can play in. We haven’t moved yet. But a friend of mine introduced me to a part of one of our city’s parks that has an off-leash dog area! My dogs bark so much at others at first, but the more we go, the better they do. The last time, they would barely look at dogs while they were walking past them. I’m so proud and it’s so good for them to get their energy out with the freedom of being off leash. I love it. I’m not sure what we’re going to do when winter hits (since their legs are so tiny), but we will have to figure out something.

Neighbour

It’s been awhile since I posted about neighbour issues, but a long time ago, our neighbour caused us to send 2 of our dogs to live with my family. They said the dogs were barking too much (on a day I was home), and all that wonderful jazz. Recently, my neighbour has been very helpful. When people were trying to break into my husband’s truck one night, she called the police. She warned me about people stealing things out of vehicles, she congratulated me on my new vehicle, and we’ve had some decent conversations. I think my neighbour has warmed up to me! Which is awesome! I actually enjoy having my neighbours now!

New Car

So, with the problem my car was having (anytime it was put in reverse, it accelerated and would almost run into the neighbour’s place or whatever was behind me), it was time to get a safer, new vehicle. I have loved the Mazda CX-5 for years, and so we went to see that first. I absolutely LOVED it and ended up getting it right away. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have a nice, safe, good vehicle. I am thankful every time I drive it.

My Niece

I’m so excited to announce that my sister gave birth 2 days ago to my niece! I am so smitten, totally in love, and wishing flights were cheaper so I could fly home to see her in person. I’ve been so excited as this is my first biological niece, my father’s first biological grandchild, my one grandmother’s first biological great grandchild, my other grandmother’s first great granddaughter, my step dad and mom’s first grandchild, etc… It’s such a special child and everyone got to be there! Ah! I’m so happy, I can’t even tell you. The second I get to see her, I’m not going to let her go!

When You Know You’re In The Right Place

I had an amazing experience yesterday and I thought I’d share it with you all as some of you may be blessed by something similar to what I was.

I went to a church that I’m definitely not a stranger to. I went there all the time as a youth, knew the senior pastor well, and have been teaching for a few years with the pastor’s wife. There are two churches in my city that I consider “home”, and this is one of them. I still go there every so often. But yesterday seemed so different.

When everything was going against me, and the devil truly was trying to distract me as much as possible so I wouldn’t make it to church, I was embarrassed  to find out I was almost 10 minutes late. I hate being late. And so naturally, I was down on myself for not making it there on time. But when I went through the front doors, the greeter who was trying to pay attention to the song service, raced right over, gave me such a welcoming greeting, and offered me a bulletin. I know the greeters are normally nice, but it seemed a little extra today.

I then went over to the doors to enter the sanctuary and a man raced over saying, “Let me get the doors for you.” Wow! Talk about such friendly service today.

I then went and sat down by myself. The row in front of me was full. I was thankful I hadn’t missed all of song service because it’s my favourite part. I seem to connect with Christ the best with worship music. There’s just something about a whole congregation of people coming together to sing praises to God.

Worship service concluded, the sermon proceeded, and everything went well. But it was after closing prayer, as everyone was getting up to leave, that the man directly in front of me turned around and told me what a beautiful voice I had. He waited throughout the entire sermon to tell me that! But to make matters even more special, let me give you a little background.

Someone very close to me used to love hearing me sing. I am definitely a person who needs encouraging words, and so when someone says that kind of thing to me, it means a lot. The past couple years, this person has gone so far as to tell me to stop singing and that I ruin music when I sing along to it. There’s been a lot of hurt over it, but as per everything else, I just learn to deal with it.

Now fast forward to the first person in years, a complete stranger, who took the time and effort to tell me I had a beautiful singing voice. Can you imagine how refreshing that was for me to hear? I almost cried. But instead all I could do is say the biggest thank you. Truly, despite being late, despite the devil trying to prevent me from going to church, church was truly the right place for me to be. ❤

The Difficulties of Changing Grades

The title may not be quite what you are thinking. I’m not even going to touch on the fact of the extra paperwork that comes with switching grades, the hours of preparing for something you would have otherwise not had to prepare so much for, and of course the task of learning a new curriculum. All of those make changing grades difficult, but that’s not what I’m focussing on today.

Today was our first day of school, and as you’ll read in my next post, I didn’t quite have the start to the year that I had planned. However, for all the preparations I did, today is what shook me up the most.

A little background for those who don’t know, I’ve essentially taught grade 6 for the past 5 years. That whole pre-teen mentality is what I’ve become accustomed to and primed to deal with. I loved it. But with an expanding school and a new principal, some changes were made, and I was asked to take on grade 2. I’ve been wondering if I would regret it ever since.

Everything went well. To be honest, it went way better than I thought it would. Surprisingly, the grade two students actually listen better than the grade sixes… go figure! But, when I walk into the hallways, and I see my previous students, I see the students that I had grown to know over the last year in anticipation of teaching them this year (before my assignment change), I can’t help but feel out of place. I feel like a skeleton of a person, just doing the job because I know how to do it, but not because I’m actually supposed to be there. It’s weird. Even my previous students stopped me and said they still didn’t picture me as a grade two teacher… because I’ve always been grade six to them! It’s just a strange feeling…

As I said, the day actually went very well. But there is so much to get used to. Grade two thinking is on a much more basic level than the complex conversations we would have in grade six. It takes them much longer to figure out problems and what I could consider simple tasks than the speed and accuracy my grade sixes could accomplish. I have never really had to teach reading before, nor spelling on such a basic level. I was a little shocked and blown away with the amount of help I needed to provide the students while creating an “About Me” booklet. It’s just so different from what I am used to.

I had a minute to talk to last year’s grade 2 teacher who is now teaching high school. She mentioned that after her first day in high school, she missed the grade 2 class. For her, the change was the opposite of mine. She missed the love and hugs you get from the younger children, and the kindness they speak to you in. Whereas high school students are very standoffish and can be rude in their talk. It’s completely different for her as well.

Are you a teacher that has switched grades? Do you know the “out of place” feeling I’m talking about? I’d love to hear your experience below and even suggestions on what you did to feel more “in place”. I’m sure time will help, but any extra advice is definitely appreciated!

How Much Are We Affecting Our Children?

I saw a commercial tonight that struck me so differently than any other commercials before. All the time we see the World Vision commercials and other organization’s commercials that are reaching out with the dire situations of children all over the world. I support organizations that help others, don’t get me wrong. My father sponsored a child when we were younger who would write us letters with the aid of a translator. She would also send pictures of our money helping to clothe her and send her to school. Helping others is great and we should never become immune to the fact that others need our help. But it also can’t be denied that these commercials are common-day, and we are used to turning past them all the time.

The commercial I saw tonight hit home.

It was a commercial based on North America, on OUR children, on the damage WE do to them. And I just sunk in my chair (couch). It was a commercial that showed the pictures of women on magazines, in commercials, articles of the fastest ways to lose weight, and even a scene where one little girl asked another if she was ready for bikini season.

Wow.

You hear stories all the time of how these things affect women, but to think that they even affect little girls! But when you sit and think of it, how true it is! Many girls are worried about being popular in school, are bullied, are made fun of, etc… and the same thing goes for boys. They grow up seeing these images of what makes a “perfect woman/man” or a “perfect girl/boy” and at earlier and earlier ages, they are striving to look like this.

I have known it’s been an epidemic that girls are maturing earlier and earlier, I see this in school with the passing years and generations. I guess it never occurred to me the depth of diet and appearance on girls even as early as 8 or 9 years old! Possibly even younger! Is that what we want to do to our children?

I think it’s a way of teaching our children to grow up with insecurities. We are setting them up to attain images that are almost always photoshopped while always feeling not good enough.

We need to change this.

We need to raise our children knowing that they are good enough. Now that doesn’t mean feeding them a greasy pizza everyday. Make healthy eating fun. Incorporate as many fruits and veggies as you can daily so kids are not afraid to eat them and don’t grow up thinking they are boring and gross. Make being healthy and active a fun part of everyday life. And most importantly, give them so much love that they will know people’s opinions don’t matter. They are special and important and perfect just the way they are!

The Penalty of Standing Out

I hate the way the world works sometimes. I hate seeing people in pain. I hate watching people getting picked on or bullied. I hate sin and wrong-doings in this world.

When I was going through my university years, completing my education degree, I had a desire to work with special needs children. It wasn’t because I looked forward to the extra work that often comes with special needs children, but because I wanted to make a difference. I knew special needs children were often put down and sometimes stared at as if the were a circus sideshow. I knew I could step up and be the voice of those children, and I knew that I could help those children feel as important as they are. But that’s not what happened.

At first I ended up teaching at a Native School. It took me awhile to learn the different dynamics needed to teach students who come from a history of anger. It was a definite learning curve in understanding the culture, the behaviours, and the thoughts about different things. But one of the things I found is that my classroom was often their safe place. My classroom was the one place they could count on someone being there to love them. I was a safe place for these kids.

Now as much as I loved being in that position, time would have me change again. This time, to a place where I wasn’t such a safe place. These kids did not need me (or at least felt like they didn’t). The attitudes were indifferent, the gratitude was gone. I really struggled at first to see how in the world I could make a difference when my students were convinced they had everything the needed.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t my first year that I figured it out. It was my second and my third that really opened my heart. I realized that maybe I wouldn’t be able to reach all students, even though I try. But there is at least one in each class who needs someone they can trust; someone they can break down their barriers and let them truly see the inside that they keep.

It broke my heart when the first student really let me in their life. The amount of background some of these kids hide is disheartening. It sometimes makes you wonder how they even function. It’s no wonder some of them put up a tough-front at school. Some of them are simply caught in that worldly struggle: the one where they are fighting between being good and doing what they know is right, and doing what the world expects and wants them to do. Absolutely the struggle gets worse as the generations get older. It’s sad in the very least, but it does, unfortunately, exist.

I witnessed something that brought this whole thing up in my mind. A situation that brought up a whole slew of memories.

One of my students is running for class rep in the upcoming school year. She’s an awesome student, wonderful in both academics and her Christianity. Unfortunately, she is one in very few that does not struggle with desires to be popular. She will not swear because others are doing it. She does not talk about inappropriate things because she has no interest. She knows what she believes and she sticks to it. She knows what is right, and that is what she does. And it has made her unpopular in her class.

Today, the vote was completed. And though she almost perfectly fits the description of the position she is running for, more votes were left blank than were voted in favour. My heart sank and my blood boiled a little. If there were legitimately good reasons for not letting her have the position, then I would accept that. But I know it’s because they are upset the one person they wanted to run wasn’t able due to his grades. Whether it’s an expression of bitterness or anger, is it right to decline someone that not only wants the position, but is ready, willing and capable of doing it well?

I don’t know what the right solution is. After all, voting is an expression of your opinion. But my heart aches in knowing that the reasons behind the reactions are wrong. And that bothers me. Someone who perfectly is capable of doing something so well, being held back by unpopularity, is wrong. It takes me right back to my whole philosophy of teaching, and that is that students are capable of more than they are doing, and standing up for those who don’t have as much of a voice.

I grew up in public schools where situations are much worse than I have ever experienced in my years of private school. I have seen “losers” beat up for simply not being good enough for others. I have seen the separation and isolation of those who needed the extra pull-out help and did not think like the others. I have seen students dragged from classrooms because they were acting out in anger about their situations. It’s not pretty.

One year, we did a fundraiser where the boys provided a lunch, and we bid on these “anonymous lunches”. When the bidding was done and every girl had her lunch, then the boys would reveal themselves and we would share lunch with them. I just happened to get one of those classmates that was always taken out for extra help, and who had problems with his anger, reacting from the situations he was in and the way he was treated.

I will forever regret the way I treated him.

I didn’t say anything mean, but that’s simply because I didn’t say anything at all. I was silent the whole time. And now I cannot even go back and apologize for being “snobby” because he was killed in a car accident several years ago (I think I was still in high school). That’s guilt that I have to live with, and guilt that started to change the way I reacted to people.

The one girl that was dragged from our classroom was probably the lowest person in our class. She didn’t always take showers, and she didn’t come from the most well-off family. In fact, I actually don’t know how she was treated at home. But what I do know is that people didn’t like her and daily made fun of her. I will never forget the one day she came up to me and told me that I was her role-model. I didn’t try to be anyone’s role-model, I just tried to talk to her and be nice when others wouldn’t. And look at the difference that made on her life. The simplest of acts I could have done, and it literally changed her world.

Now I’d like to say others followed, but they didn’t. I’d like to say her life changed for the best, but it didn’t. I did manage to get in contact with her again during university, sadly to find out she was pregnant and the baby’s father wanted nothing to do with her as soon as she became pregnant. As a matter of fact, he ran out with another girl and married her very shortly afterwards. And to make matters worse, he called social services claiming she was an unfit mother and had her baby taken away. In no way did her life get better.

I’m sad to say I’ve lost contact with her. My only method of contact no longer seems to work. I do pray for her, that things work out and she’s able to have her baby back in her life. I know she was fighting hard for him. But I pray God’s love surrounds her and God-willing, I will be able to connect with her again.

I truly, truly do hate the world treats people that are different – people that stand out from everybody else. I had the position of popularity and I misused it once. But I promise to do my best to never misuse it again. When a situation arises where someone needs a voice, I wish to be that voice for them, to stand up on their behalf. Just because you don’t think the same as everyone else or do the same things everyone else does is not a reason to be treated so badly. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. Make a difference in someone’s life. Even if it’s just one person you’ve helped, you’ve literally just changed a person’s entire world. Do what you can and don’t delay. You never know the good you can leave behind.

Day 1 in Review

Hello everyone!

As promised, I will tell you what my days are like, and what I may struggle with.

I have gotten quite a few ideas from different vegans, however, today I decided to go with Freelee’s sample meal plan in a way that I could do it.

For breakfast, I’m having pulpy orange juice. That way I’m still getting in some of the fibre, and filling up on some yummy oranges. She suggests drinking 2L just for breakfast! I would have loved this as a kid, and still enjoy it today! I don’t think this is something I will do everyday, simply because I know it is important to get the full fibre in of a full fruit, but every once in awhile, it’s a nice, healthy “treat”!

For supplements with my breakfast (I’ll quit taking them as soon as I run out though…), I’m taking 2 probiotics (to make sure my digestion doesn’t do anything funny on the switch in diet), biotin (for hair and nail growth), and vitamin D (it just snowed again today!). I am planning on taking vitamin D still on days that I don’t get outside in the sun much, and also planning on taking B12 which apparently is difficult to get enough of on many different diets, not just vegan. Aside from those two, I will not continue the others once I am done with them, unless I need to. I also took two green chews (using to help me adjust until I’m eating a sufficient amount of greens each day), and some multivitamins (which I will also stop taking once they are done).

For a snack, I again took Freelee’s suggestion and drank some more pulpy orange juice. Like I said, it’s amazing! But I don’t think I would do this more than once or twice a week. It’s good to get a variety of fruits and veggies in too!

In total, I drank approximately 2.63L of pulpy orange juice. I did not even feel hungry at lunch! I’m in love.

Now, I was little worried that because I was drinking so much orange juice, and no water, that my urine would show up as dehydrated (darker yellow). After all, as a kid, you grow up thinking this is the case, usually because it’s not pure orange juice you were drinking. But nope! It was really clear. I was very hydrated! That’s the power of real things (no additives).

I got really busy at work (teaching, of course), and did not get a chance to eat anything else throughout the afternoon. I thought I had a deadline for certain files to be in my students’ records. Although I was done getting them to do their part, I wanted to grade them quickly before I sent them to their files. So I was grading like a mad-woman! When I was done with one stack, and about to tackle the next (after school), I took the one stack to our special needs coordinator. She was so excited I was done with them and was the first one. I looked at her and asked her why I was the first one when the deadline was tomorrow. She then proceeded to tell me the deadline was a week from tomorrow. I had the date completely wrong! Ugh… Oh well, I’d rather have things done earlier than later. I didn’t mark the second stack though. I went home.

I was so hungry when I came home, and so excited at the same time. I had just subscribed to a service called The Organic Box. They deliver fresh, organic produce to you once a week. You’re able to customize that you want, and it’s just amazing. So I got my first box today, and was so excited as I brought it in the house and was taking everything out. In fact, it inspired my supper.

For supper, I had a big salad with 50/50 mixed greens from Organic Girl, berries from my Organic Box (blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries), rainbow carrots from my Organic Box, field cucumber from my Organic Box, some sunflower seeds and soya nuts that I had, and topped with a mixture I made of avocado, salsa, lemon and a touch of vegan cream cheese. Oh it was so delicious and fresh tasting. Absolutely loved it!

Unplanned, but when we got to the gym, they have a Booster Juice and my husband wanted one of their smoothies. They have these vegetarian wraps that are super tasty, so I got one of those. I’m not sure this was vegan… That was my mistake. I will have to check another time.

My workout went well. I did a 10 minute warm-up on the treadmill, did some push-ups, some kettebell and 10-lb plate squats (hold the plate straight out in front of you), planks, foam rolling, shoulder rolls, standing alternating toe touches, my chiropractor exercises, and a 20 minute brisk walk on the treadmill.

Usually when I do cardio, I take it as my chance to read. I’ve conquered quite a few books this way because I have so much going on the rest of the time. Right now, I’m reading a book called “Skinny B***h”. I don’t swear, ever, so I will not type it out, sorry. But it is a super good book so far (minus some swearing/harsh language), but the information is awesome. The two ladies that wrote it are actually vegan and they explain why they’ve made this choice and why people should make that choice throughout the first chapters of the book. Love it.

After we came home, I took some mini, organic sweet potatoes that I had and cooked them up. One had gone mouldy in the bag, but didn’t seem to effect the others. I was so deceived. I cooked up about four of them, took them out of the peel and mashed them together, had a couple good bites, then took a bite that was potently terrible. In fact I had to spit it back out, clean my mouth out, gargle and the works. Oh that was so terrible. I didn’t go on eating anything more last night. That had ruined my appetite.

Following this, I went to bed.

The Most Emotional Spring Break

Wow. Where do I even begin…

This year I was actually looking forward to my Spring Break (for the first time since I’ve started teaching). I had the new passion planner my parents got me, I booked my days full of cleaning and catching up on life… and grading too.

On Friday, the very first thing that happened was my washing machine broke. I had so much laundry to catch-up on, but that was going to have to wait. Not a good beginning sign…

The next few days went rather well. Starting Monday, I found myself sticking to my schedules I had created, and conquering so much of the work that had been put off for way too long. I cleaned my basement, my kitchen, my entry, my stairs, my bedroom, part of my office, most of my bathroom, and even categorized some items I have to sell! It was so productive. And yes, I got quite a bit of grading done as well. I even spent excess time with my dogs and my skinny pig. I was so happy.

First, I got news that my sister was pregnant. Normally, this would be exciting news, except my sister’s life has been very rocky the last few years. She was currently with a not-so-good boyfriend, a not-so-good job, and renting a bedroom from a house – definitely not a place or situation to raise a child! She also has not had healthcare for years, and is not consistent with taking care of herself – not good for the baby, let alone her!

This turned into a very rocky situation of my step-father taking her to his hotel with him, her leaving behind his back, him buying her a plane ticket and her never returning to the hotel like she said she would. It turned into many phone calls, texts, and Facebook messages, few and far between responses from my sister, and potentially very bad situations that I cannot elaborate on at this time. What resulted of the situation was that my sister promised to be back in time for our day together on Friday which never happened. My step-father ended up picking her up on Sunday, keeping her with him Sunday night, and flying out with her on Monday. I was worried she would even refuse to get on the plane, but for some reason, she did it. Now she is home with my family who will help her get back on her feet and hopefully be able to handle her emotions at this time. It’s going to be a long road for her.

Amidst those difficulties, worrying and stress, my skinny pig died. After having an awesome week, being able to spend all that extra time with him, we noticed he was acting strange on Friday morning. So we went to the pet store, bought liquid vitamins to put in his water, and by the time we came home, he was dead. Mind you, he was at least 4 years old, if not more than that. So for a skinny/guinea pig, he was in the upper range of their age. It is just incredibly sad that he has been with us for 4 years and we have bonded with him so much. Our little guy’s passing was incredibly hard to take amidst everything else on this break.

As the title of this blog speaks, this was probably the most emotional Spring Break I’ve ever had. I hope it’s the last one like this I ever have. But from here, we can only move on and hope for better.

Priorities: They Can Be Hard

As many teachers will know, teaching can easily consume your life. It’s so much more than being present and teaching children. There is planning, grading, documenting, extracurriculars and so much more than goes into our job. There are so many hours we put into this job that we aren’t compensated for; that take away from our family lives.

It has become an issue with my husband several times. There are weeks I’m home late every night not because of grading but because of meetings and other things I was asked/told to be involved with which then leaves time at home where I’m tired, have housework to do and grading on top of trying to spend time with my husband. And when report card times come around, forget trying to talk to me the whole extended weekend. There is always so much to do.

An opportunity came up that I said I wouldn’t miss again four years ago. Work would be sending me for free. Spouses are also allowed to come, provided they pay their way. It’s an awesome opportunity. So naturally I signed up myself and my husband. The problem came up that my husband still does not have his papers and as we discovered last time, if he leaves the country again, he may never be allowed back and the years of work we’ve done so far will be thrown out. We just can’t take that chance again.

My husband would rather I didn’t go without him. I would be in a foreign country and he could not live with himself if something happened to me and I didn’t come back. I can say that I was mad at him for awhile. I was mad that he didn’t want me to go. I was mad that he couldn’t see this as the opportunity that I did. I was mad at him for being selfish. I was so mad.

But then I remembered and thought about (for a few days until it sunk in) that two mentors of mine, from the beginning of my teaching career, warned me: God first, family second, work third. It also struck me about a worship conversation we had at work one time where another teacher brought up about a marriage seminar where it was discussed that what God has brought together, let no man pull apart. I also thought back to the many marriage books and people I follow that have provided excellent, Christian (and for non-Christians as well) marriage advice where the best thing you can do is to respect your husband because in doing so, it will – whether now or eventually – show him how much he means to you and often will reflect a change in his behaviour towards you as well. Needless to say, I shouldn’t be mad.

I chose to undergo a mini-lecture about cancelling our reservations (work-related). I chose to take on the cancellation fees though I still haven’t heard how much that is yet. I chose to eventually be questioned over and over about why I didn’t go on the cruise (nobody aside from who needed to know, knows yet) and I will choose to defend my husband over the situation because he is simply my husband. I choose to respect his wishes. I know it is out of his heart that he wants to do as much as he can to protect me. Maybe I won’t get to travel. Maybe this may knock me out of my social-related situation at the school. But at the end of the day, my first mission is and always will be my marriage and if I can’t be a good steward of that, then I have already failed in a mission given from God. I’m not willing to do that. I need to be a witness for God to my husband and that is what I’m going to do.

I love my job, but I love my husband more. And so I do not hold a grudge but I choose to respect him. Although anxiety may come when I know the others are leaving for this trip, I will choose to remember that he was only saying it out of love, and pray for the patience and understanding that I need. God is the ultimate provider of that all-encompassing peace. ❤