Fruit w/Salad Supper Day 3 – Healing Journey Day 40

Journal:
I woke up so cold today. This is the coldest I have felt yet. I honestly haven’t struggled with the desire of wanting something hot to eat yet, but I’m wondering if the colder temperatures will get me yet.

I actually was on the ball this morning. I was up and ready faster than normal. It has been my week to do worships at work, so I had everything ready to go and was even at work at my earliest time yet. I was impressed with myself today!

So, I have been thinking about ways I can get in more calories throughout the day, and today I knew that not only did my class had Reading Buddies with another class, it was my turn to have that time off. During Reading Buddies once a week, we take turns on which classroom the students go to and it is the duty of that classroom’s teacher to supervise while the other gets a short break. It really works nicely because what teacher doesn’t like a little bit of an extra break? I know I always have a ton of things to do, so a little extra time is nice.

While they were outside at morning recess, I quickly went to the kitchen and made a smoothie from three peaches, some water, and three frozen bananas. It actually was really good and I was able to drink it while my students were with their Reading Buddies.

I honestly don’t know where these giant mugs came from, but they were in our school’s kitchen so I’ve been using them. I seriously want to invest in one because they are the perfect size to sip away on a smoothie while still looking somewhat professional.

Throughout the rest of the day, I managed to eat two Mandarin oranges. It wasn’t a lot, but I definitely felt better after having that smoothie in the morning. If I could just figure out a way to make a smoothie each day, I’d be winning!

I ended up with two impromptu meetings after school. Following those meetings, I came home and put my dog outside. The sun had come out and had raised the temperatures to a nice, snow-melting temperature. So I figured my dog better enjoy it while he can.

Once he had been outside for awhile, I brought him back in, gave him some food and a treat, and hit the mall. I was on the hunt for white slippers to go with my pyjamas for Pyjama Day tomorrow. Do you think I could find what I wanted in any store in the mall? Absolutely not. It is a 2-floor, multi-level mall, and yet had nothing that I wanted. I then drove to another store and spent forever in there trying things on to change my outfit. But honestly, it all was to little avail. I came out with a new pair of pyjama pants that were on sale and only half-heartedly looked forward to tomorrow.

So amidst the hours of stress, fast-pace walking, jumping in and out of clothes, I managed to eat the apple I had stashed in my pocket. It was another Fuji apple that thankfully was delicious, but honestly it did little to fuel the calories I was burning off throughout the evening.

I ended up stopping by Subway to pick up a pre-chopped salad. I hadn’t eaten my nightly supper yet, and it would have taken too long to make my usual dressing and chop up all of the salad ingredients. I’m already not getting enough sleep and am preparing for a long day tomorrow as we have a staff meeting after school. So, I decided that assistance would be nice on this particular day.

The Subway lady was really nice. It was a half hour before closing (to give you an idea of how long I was running around), but she brought out her freshly washed tools to chop me up some tomatoes, cucumber, bell peppers, red onion and lettuce. Instead of choosing a regular dressing, I had guacamole on top (essentially mashed up avocado). I then took it home and added some chopped up mushrooms and made my dressing. Now, I didn’t know this before, but I definitely know it now. I do NOT like rosemary. Oh my word. I almost had to choke down my dressing (hence why it is in the bowl on the side). I would have much rather enjoyed the salad with just the guacamole. And do you want to know something? I actually finished this salad in less than an hour (it went down a lot easier once the dressing was gone…) AND I could have eaten more. I actually liked it simple. My tastebuds are improving!

As you’ll notice, the dressing looks a little chunkier than normal; that’s because it was. The amount that I used, according to the recipe, was just enough to fit under and around the blades of the Vitamix . Even when I added a Roma tomato to the blender to see if that would help, it just built up along the walls of the blender. So… yes… a little chunky.

If you want the original recipe, here it is (I think this is another Fully Raw Kristina recipe.. if you like rosemary, I’m sure you’ll love it):

-2 Cups Mango
-Handful of Dates (Approx 10)
-Handful of Fresh Rosemary

So tomorrow, the plan is to try and get a smoothie made first thing in the morning again. If I don’t wake up early enough, then I won’t be having a smoothie until lunch time which could still work. I will just have to eat some Mandarin oranges in the morning and have the smoothie in the afternoon. I will also take an apple or two to have during our staff meeting so I don’t eat all the chips and snacks they usually bring out. This will be probably my first staff meeting without indulging in junk… so here we go!

Review of Symptoms:
-Acne still bad… very bad…
-Hair is so soft, shiny and beautiful.
-Energy is still holding up despite everything going on.
-Eyes seem to do better when not on the computer as much.

Weight at the end of the day = I’m so sorry. I didn’t stay awake long enough to weight myself.

Total Calories = 1175 (89% carbs, 5% fat, 6% protein… still not yet enough food but slowly I’m getting there!)

Vegan Journey Update

Ok. I have LOVED seeing everyone’s vegan success posts! I fully believe in a vegan lifestyle and have taken much backlash for it. I began my vegan journey in June/July 2015. I had a week’s transition where I was battling cravings for cheese. Who knew I’d hit severe withdrawal over a food.

At first, I was leaning towards a more RawTill4 version, but found also that I had addictions to cooked lunches. So then it was more of a raw breakfast with cooked meals afterwards.

I did alright until the fall when I started teaching again and began buying a lot more pre-made vegan foods and trying more vegan junk foods.

Prior to all of this, I had won a fitness competition at my lowest weight of 129 lbs (I believe… my husband seems to remember a different number in the 120 lbs range). I won free coaching for two months and did fairly well continuing to stick with an extremely low carb, higher protein and moderate fat meal plan but my results stalled and as I started avoiding meals just so I didn’t have to keep eating the same things, my results started to reverse.

I found a group on FB with a coach that designed his own workout plans and diet. Many people have seen results on his plans, so I decided to enter this challenge as well. About half way through, I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being unhappy with my food. I was tired of always restricting. And when I finally asked the coach why I was no longer losing weight, he told me to cut my calories down even more. I think I thought about it for two days before deciding that I’m not doing this anymore and I’m going to “intuitive eat”.

Now, my intuitive eating was not a binging session. I don’t think I’ve ever binged. But I did start eating whatever foods I wanted with no regards to macro counting. Obviously this included more cheese for my cheese addiction. Needless to say, I started gaining weight.

After awhile, I started being so unhappy because I knew something was wrong and that there had to be something better for our bodies than this. With my dissatisfaction, and being vegetarian for many years before entering the bodybuilding/fitness world, I started looking at being vegan. I researched for days, watched YouTube videos by the hour. I finally had found what made sense to me. Hence my journey began in June/July 2015.

Though I’ve enjoyed the success stories, I’ve always wondered what was going wrong. When I first switched to vegan, my weight slowly kept creeping up until I hit my all-time high over Christmas at 196 lbs. Sure, it’s easy to say you shouldn’t worry about the weight, but from winning my competition at 129 lbs to gaining up to 196 lbs, I’m sure you can understand the mental troubles this can give you, especially when your husband thinks your current diet is to blame.

Deep in my heart, I knew this was the right way to eat so I didn’t give up. Sure, I indulged a little in junk over Christmas Break since we went on vacation to Colorado, but I never quit being vegan, and at home I have been cooking more than before and eating as much whole, plant-based foods as possible.

Since Christmas, I just wanted to see the scale move down into the 180s. That’s not a huge fat loss, but enough for some confirmation. Since Christmas, I have found my all-time best routine. I get up at 4 am, go to the gym, do my workout fasted: usually 1 to 1 1/2 hours of weights and 30 minutes of cardio, come home, eat breakfast because I’m usually starving after the gym, take care of my dogs, get stuff ready for my husband, get myself ready for work, go to work (elementary teacher), come home or stay at work after and do what needs to be done. It honestly gives me so much energy for the day. Yes, physically I have felt a difference for sure! No more coffee, never tired except for at night, no stomach issues, etc.

Yesterday in the gym, while doing lateral raises, I thought I noticed a slight difference in my chest/shoulder area. My shoulder muscles are starting to show again like they used to (though there is still fat covering them that needs to go). Then when I was doing shrugs, I noticed the top half of my stomach area (chest down to “love handles”) is actually slim (I carry all my fat in my bottom part of my stomach). For once, I could see/vision myself athletically fit and not stare at myself with criticism. However, I will say that until this point, the scale had barely moved (though I do not check everyday).

This morning, and yes, I know the scale isn’t everything, but what I saw was confirmed. I am back on the 180s side at 189! 7 1/2 months of keeping faith that this is the right way, and I’m finally starting to see results and not just feel them. I am so happy!

I just wanted to share my story for anyone else who may get frustrated that their weight is not coming off. Being active and eating whole foods is honestly the best way to go. You will feel the results first, and that’s what counts. The physical results will come later. I haven’t had a blood test done yet to make sure all of my levels are ok, but that is on my to-do list. All I know is I feel great, my strength and endurance have actually increased in the gym, and I will never eat/live another way again!

Why the Name “Christian” Can Cause Such Anger

I’ve delayed in writing this blog post. The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. Not because I’m cleaning up my classroom, preparing for a new grade, but because the world has changed ever so quickly, and I needed to make sure my own emotions were not mixing and leading my thoughts but that rather my beliefs were the driving force behind my words.

When I decided I wanted to turn vegan, I thought what better place to learn than to join vegan groups on Facebook where people are continuously discussing ways of doing things better and on improving lifestyles. What better place would you get a mix of people who are starting out in their vegan adventure, as well as though who are tried and true veterans to the lifestyle. I did enjoy these facts, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, I don’t know how you could have missed it), but the states have just legalized same sex marriage. To some people it’s no surprise, to some people it’s a reason to lash out, and to some people it’s a reason to celebrate. I was prepared for those reactions. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anger backing people’s responses. And it took a few days for me to truly understand what was going on.

Unfortunately, one of my vegan groups posted about this legalization and stated that you will never find a “homophobe vegan”. A man simply stated (though not in words I would have used) that he was not a “phobe” by the meaning of the word “phobia” as in being scared. He simply was using Biblical pieces to back-up the point that he did not support the movement. The backlash he received was incredible. And as I noticed he was the only one defending his beliefs, I decided to try and approach the conversation in a loving but understanding way. You see, I’ve noticed people are very quick to criticize Christian beliefs as being old and not modern day. But I knew that this is often because Christians have made a bad name for themselves.

I once saw a conversation where Christians were attacking an atheist. I could see where her comments and attacks were coming from. I couldn’t stand Christians reacting in this kind of way so I entered the conversation as well and simply responded to her questions and comments in a loving, non-judgemental way. It took quite awhile, but believe it or not, she thanked me for talking to her the way I did and explaining things the way I had. Of course she assured me she wouldn’t become Christian anytime soon, but that wasn’t the point of my discussion. The basis of my discussion was love.

So I figured that maybe if love was presented the right way in this vegan conversation, then maybe the hatred I was seeing would dissipate and the group could go back to the original purpose of becoming vegan and standing for animal rights. However, I’m sad to say it did not work that way. No matter how many times I reassured that none of the Christians in the conversation weren’t hating them nor judging them (all 2 of us), they served critique after critique back. No matter how many times I assured them that Christians should be focused on loving and loving all people, hate was served back. No matter how much love I tried to show about loving people but not supporting decisions they make, I was not supported. I even told them that the God of the world, Himself, has given us the power to choose what we do, regardless if we choose sin or not, and thus everyone in the world should have the power to choose what they want without anybody telling them otherwise, I was still considered judgemental. I brought up how I have a great uncle who has been a married gay my whole life and how I love him dearly and will never treat him otherwise, but that I do not support his lifestyle, I was still considered a “homophobe”. I was called a jerk, ingenious, told to take a nap, told I have mental sickness, that somehow someone loved me but in the same sentence told me everything I am is a sin, that God was going to send me to hell to burn for eternity, etc. And I was reminded again and again how listening to a 2000 year old book is so wrong.

I was not prepared for the hardness of hearts I was presented with. This is why I did not write this blog when I first thought of it. In fact, it’s been sitting as a tab for the past however many days since the law was passed. I’ve changed the name 3 times. I needed time to sort through what was going on, and to make sure my emotions were in check. And now I think I’m ready to help explain where I think things have gone wrong.

There happens to be a girl many years younger than I who was feeling the same way I was – being attacked by so many people, being pushed with no rest, exhausted from having to defend herself. The message came clearly in her Facebook post and the response from someone questioning the selection of beliefs, specifically pertaining to the lack of support on the same sex marriage issue.

I really thought about it before I posted this time, and I provided a very prominent issue among different Christians about the “clean” and “unclean” foods. I stated it as the fact that many Christians don’t support eating pork. Some claim that because it is an Old Testament law, that we no longer have to follow that distinction. Although many Christians disagree on this issue, we don’t hate our own family members just because they eat differently than ourselves. The best way to influence anyone in a positive way is through a loving manner. I also added that I grew up as a hunter’s daughter. When I turned vegetarian, my grandfather was convinced I would die. In fact, for the almost 10 years I was vegetarian, the very first question he would ask me is if I was healthy and had gone back to eating meat yet. The amount he would try to sneak meat onto my plate was crazy. He did not support my eating habits whatsoever. But he never stopped loving me. In fact, I can’t recall a day in my life where I did not feel loved by my grandfather, and that’s the way it should be.

To go a little further than that, she said she was going to put it bluntly and ask how same sex relationships is one law we believe from the Old Testament, but there were a host of others such as wearing jewelry, having tattoos, and premarital sex were things most Christians don’t follow anymore, yet we can choose to not stand for the same sex marriage issue.

This is where it truly sank in. The reason I believe that most people are so angry with Christians and our beliefs is because we have compromised on so much! Seriously, look around at your churches. I know for a fact that people drink, do drugs, party, have non-marrital sex with people regardless of being married or not, have problems with pornography, steal, cheat people out of money, etc, etc… There are people in almost every church who are the kings and queens of gossip. Churches are seen as judgemental because they’ve become that way. What have we done to ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying that all churches or even all people are this way. I do believe we have the sweetest, loving Christians still on this earth, and unfortunately that’s something we desperately need more of. But when Christians in themselves are out in the world claiming to be Christian and yet are caught in such horrible acts, what else is the world to think of us? Can you really blame people for hosting anger when they grew up in a church but like my sister, left because people were judging the clothing she wore? Do you really think that made her feel at home rather than winning her over with love? Personally, I’m ashamed at some of the things we’ve done to people. We should be opening our doors and welcoming, not just greeting, but truly welcoming people into our midst with the goal of letting love take over. When Jesus saved the prostitute, or sat with the tax collectors, you don’t see Him attacking them. He loved them and that’s what created the difference. Why can’t we do the same?

Of course I’m not saying we should kick out all of the people who are having problems either. What better place to receive help with healing than a church family, as long as we are being just that – a loving and supportive family.

Now, I know my beliefs may differ from yours, and that’s ok. Like I said, I have no judgement. The Bible, unfortunately, is not the most easily understood book at times, and some is left to our interpretation though hopefully somewhat unfolded with divine help (always pray before reading the Bible!). So yes, topics like jewelry and tattoos are a little more difficult to defend for some. However, I know the Bible clearly points out that our bodies are the living temples for the Holy Spirit, and we are to take care of them to the best of our abilities. Putting needles unnecessarily into my body, causing a stain that God did not put there in the first place that is ridiculous to remove, and putting holes all over my body does not seem like preserving the “holy temple” as God stated it. To me, that is clear enough definition as to why those are not the best idea. Jewelry that does not require holes (such as necklaces, rings, and bracelets) are a little more in the grey area. However, if you look at history, you will see that only the rich, and those who placed themselves above others wore jewelry. So at the time, it made total sense that jewelry was a way to separate the classes of people, and as far as I’ve read in my Bible, God doesn’t view us that way, nor does He want us to develop an attitude of being better than others. So to me, that makes sense. When it comes to premarital sex, it’s a no-brainer to me. You don’t need a Bible to tell you it’s not the best idea. Look up science reports and the reactions in the brain with sex. Look up psychology reports. The more sex you have before marriage, the less you are bringing to your marriage. Imagine if everything was brand new coming into your marriage. No past relationships to discuss, no past comparisons to make, nothing bad to bring into your forever relationship. I think in a way, we’ve lost sight of how sacred and special marriage was supposed to be. It was a union, a joining of two people. And in Mark 10:9, it states clearly, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” We say vows, vows that are actually supposed to mean something. God blessed the union between husband and wife and specifically said that NO MAN (that means nobody on this earth) should be able to separate that union. I don’t know about you, but there are an awful lot of divorces going on. A lot of “man” separating what God told us not to. And that’s in the New Testament, not even the old.

Again, I hope you are not taking offence to this. I am the product of a divorced family who married other divorced people. Divorce is around me, and although I love my family more dearly than anything, I will fight with all I have to preserve my marriage union because I believe that is what is right. (I may continue this conversation at another time. It’s a whole separate Bible study.)

So those are my thoughts. I’m not sure if Christians will ever recover. If we’re going to stand for our beliefs, we need to learn not to compromise. No, it’s not easy being criticized. If anything, becoming vegan has opened my eyes to a whole new way of being criticized (not enough protein, not losing weight fast enough, not going to be healthy, etc…). But if you truly believe in something and seek to receive the rewards at the end, then you need to stand for whatever it is. But remember to stand in a loving way. Hate is fuel to the fire, but love (usually) softens the hardest of hearts. So speak to and treat each other in love, regardless of what a person chooses, but stay strong to yourself and don’t compromise on the beliefs you hold. Nobody in this world has the right to force their beliefs on people. But rather, keep an open ear and seek to find the Truth, and once you have the Truth, hold on to it. As humans, we are master justifiers, master liars, and master convincers. Don’t let someone talk you out of being yourself and believing what you’ve sought to be true.

For another pastor’s perspective, I found this to be a good, well-written, loving read with Biblical back-up.
http://todaychristian.net/a-detailed-explanation-of-why-christians-dont-accept-gay-marriage/

Week 6 Day 3

Today’s worship carried a substantially difficult topic. I looked at our Spirit Week and today was Jersey Day. Side note: I wore a Broncos jersey! Go Broncos! But as I was trying to come up with a topic that would associate with Jersey Day, something to do with teams, I quickly realized that the most immediate topic was that of teamwork. The only problem is, I think our staff honestly works well as a team. So this topic was just not striking me properly.

I continued to think and think and think until it finally hit me: forgiveness. It connected in my brain when I thought of the pressure athletes have to win. How often do we get mad at them when they make a mistake, when they miss the winning goal, when they play horribly? How often do they likely get yelled at and ridiculed for mistakes that we may as equally make in our own lives? And with mistakes often comes the act of forgiveness.

Now, this was a touchy topic to talk about. Because the act of forgiveness is called upon us by God Himself. When asked how many times a person should forgive, Jesus said, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). Yet, how often do we not forgive people? How often are we hurt and then carry around that hurt the rest of our lives? I went over Bible verses about forgiveness, and over some expectations of forgiveness. Forgiveness means not using the event against the person (not holding a grudge). It means not gossiping about that event and person, as well as a few others. However, I was not satisfied with the way this worship ended because it was ended with the thought that forgiveness is still difficult even though the Bible gives us so many examples. And I was challenged by this to come up with how it was easy for myself to forgive others. And this is something I would think about constantly until the next morning.

Today’s workout was focussed on legs and abs. And as usual, leg workouts kill me everytime. I was so tired and worn out, not to mention in pain. I’ve noticed that our coach has dropped the reps down to 10 for almost all body parts, except legs. Our legs reps remain at 15. Oh does this ever push your legs. Ah! So glad when I finished.