Why the Name “Christian” Can Cause Such Anger

I’ve delayed in writing this blog post. The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. Not because I’m cleaning up my classroom, preparing for a new grade, but because the world has changed ever so quickly, and I needed to make sure my own emotions were not mixing and leading my thoughts but that rather my beliefs were the driving force behind my words.

When I decided I wanted to turn vegan, I thought what better place to learn than to join vegan groups on Facebook where people are continuously discussing ways of doing things better and on improving lifestyles. What better place would you get a mix of people who are starting out in their vegan adventure, as well as though who are tried and true veterans to the lifestyle. I did enjoy these facts, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, I don’t know how you could have missed it), but the states have just legalized same sex marriage. To some people it’s no surprise, to some people it’s a reason to lash out, and to some people it’s a reason to celebrate. I was prepared for those reactions. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anger backing people’s responses. And it took a few days for me to truly understand what was going on.

Unfortunately, one of my vegan groups posted about this legalization and stated that you will never find a “homophobe vegan”. A man simply stated (though not in words I would have used) that he was not a “phobe” by the meaning of the word “phobia” as in being scared. He simply was using Biblical pieces to back-up the point that he did not support the movement. The backlash he received was incredible. And as I noticed he was the only one defending his beliefs, I decided to try and approach the conversation in a loving but understanding way. You see, I’ve noticed people are very quick to criticize Christian beliefs as being old and not modern day. But I knew that this is often because Christians have made a bad name for themselves.

I once saw a conversation where Christians were attacking an atheist. I could see where her comments and attacks were coming from. I couldn’t stand Christians reacting in this kind of way so I entered the conversation as well and simply responded to her questions and comments in a loving, non-judgemental way. It took quite awhile, but believe it or not, she thanked me for talking to her the way I did and explaining things the way I had. Of course she assured me she wouldn’t become Christian anytime soon, but that wasn’t the point of my discussion. The basis of my discussion was love.

So I figured that maybe if love was presented the right way in this vegan conversation, then maybe the hatred I was seeing would dissipate and the group could go back to the original purpose of becoming vegan and standing for animal rights. However, I’m sad to say it did not work that way. No matter how many times I reassured that none of the Christians in the conversation weren’t hating them nor judging them (all 2 of us), they served critique after critique back. No matter how many times I assured them that Christians should be focused on loving and loving all people, hate was served back. No matter how much love I tried to show about loving people but not supporting decisions they make, I was not supported. I even told them that the God of the world, Himself, has given us the power to choose what we do, regardless if we choose sin or not, and thus everyone in the world should have the power to choose what they want without anybody telling them otherwise, I was still considered judgemental. I brought up how I have a great uncle who has been a married gay my whole life and how I love him dearly and will never treat him otherwise, but that I do not support his lifestyle, I was still considered a “homophobe”. I was called a jerk, ingenious, told to take a nap, told I have mental sickness, that somehow someone loved me but in the same sentence told me everything I am is a sin, that God was going to send me to hell to burn for eternity, etc. And I was reminded again and again how listening to a 2000 year old book is so wrong.

I was not prepared for the hardness of hearts I was presented with. This is why I did not write this blog when I first thought of it. In fact, it’s been sitting as a tab for the past however many days since the law was passed. I’ve changed the name 3 times. I needed time to sort through what was going on, and to make sure my emotions were in check. And now I think I’m ready to help explain where I think things have gone wrong.

There happens to be a girl many years younger than I who was feeling the same way I was – being attacked by so many people, being pushed with no rest, exhausted from having to defend herself. The message came clearly in her Facebook post and the response from someone questioning the selection of beliefs, specifically pertaining to the lack of support on the same sex marriage issue.

I really thought about it before I posted this time, and I provided a very prominent issue among different Christians about the “clean” and “unclean” foods. I stated it as the fact that many Christians don’t support eating pork. Some claim that because it is an Old Testament law, that we no longer have to follow that distinction. Although many Christians disagree on this issue, we don’t hate our own family members just because they eat differently than ourselves. The best way to influence anyone in a positive way is through a loving manner. I also added that I grew up as a hunter’s daughter. When I turned vegetarian, my grandfather was convinced I would die. In fact, for the almost 10 years I was vegetarian, the very first question he would ask me is if I was healthy and had gone back to eating meat yet. The amount he would try to sneak meat onto my plate was crazy. He did not support my eating habits whatsoever. But he never stopped loving me. In fact, I can’t recall a day in my life where I did not feel loved by my grandfather, and that’s the way it should be.

To go a little further than that, she said she was going to put it bluntly and ask how same sex relationships is one law we believe from the Old Testament, but there were a host of others such as wearing jewelry, having tattoos, and premarital sex were things most Christians don’t follow anymore, yet we can choose to not stand for the same sex marriage issue.

This is where it truly sank in. The reason I believe that most people are so angry with Christians and our beliefs is because we have compromised on so much! Seriously, look around at your churches. I know for a fact that people drink, do drugs, party, have non-marrital sex with people regardless of being married or not, have problems with pornography, steal, cheat people out of money, etc, etc… There are people in almost every church who are the kings and queens of gossip. Churches are seen as judgemental because they’ve become that way. What have we done to ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying that all churches or even all people are this way. I do believe we have the sweetest, loving Christians still on this earth, and unfortunately that’s something we desperately need more of. But when Christians in themselves are out in the world claiming to be Christian and yet are caught in such horrible acts, what else is the world to think of us? Can you really blame people for hosting anger when they grew up in a church but like my sister, left because people were judging the clothing she wore? Do you really think that made her feel at home rather than winning her over with love? Personally, I’m ashamed at some of the things we’ve done to people. We should be opening our doors and welcoming, not just greeting, but truly welcoming people into our midst with the goal of letting love take over. When Jesus saved the prostitute, or sat with the tax collectors, you don’t see Him attacking them. He loved them and that’s what created the difference. Why can’t we do the same?

Of course I’m not saying we should kick out all of the people who are having problems either. What better place to receive help with healing than a church family, as long as we are being just that – a loving and supportive family.

Now, I know my beliefs may differ from yours, and that’s ok. Like I said, I have no judgement. The Bible, unfortunately, is not the most easily understood book at times, and some is left to our interpretation though hopefully somewhat unfolded with divine help (always pray before reading the Bible!). So yes, topics like jewelry and tattoos are a little more difficult to defend for some. However, I know the Bible clearly points out that our bodies are the living temples for the Holy Spirit, and we are to take care of them to the best of our abilities. Putting needles unnecessarily into my body, causing a stain that God did not put there in the first place that is ridiculous to remove, and putting holes all over my body does not seem like preserving the “holy temple” as God stated it. To me, that is clear enough definition as to why those are not the best idea. Jewelry that does not require holes (such as necklaces, rings, and bracelets) are a little more in the grey area. However, if you look at history, you will see that only the rich, and those who placed themselves above others wore jewelry. So at the time, it made total sense that jewelry was a way to separate the classes of people, and as far as I’ve read in my Bible, God doesn’t view us that way, nor does He want us to develop an attitude of being better than others. So to me, that makes sense. When it comes to premarital sex, it’s a no-brainer to me. You don’t need a Bible to tell you it’s not the best idea. Look up science reports and the reactions in the brain with sex. Look up psychology reports. The more sex you have before marriage, the less you are bringing to your marriage. Imagine if everything was brand new coming into your marriage. No past relationships to discuss, no past comparisons to make, nothing bad to bring into your forever relationship. I think in a way, we’ve lost sight of how sacred and special marriage was supposed to be. It was a union, a joining of two people. And in Mark 10:9, it states clearly, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” We say vows, vows that are actually supposed to mean something. God blessed the union between husband and wife and specifically said that NO MAN (that means nobody on this earth) should be able to separate that union. I don’t know about you, but there are an awful lot of divorces going on. A lot of “man” separating what God told us not to. And that’s in the New Testament, not even the old.

Again, I hope you are not taking offence to this. I am the product of a divorced family who married other divorced people. Divorce is around me, and although I love my family more dearly than anything, I will fight with all I have to preserve my marriage union because I believe that is what is right. (I may continue this conversation at another time. It’s a whole separate Bible study.)

So those are my thoughts. I’m not sure if Christians will ever recover. If we’re going to stand for our beliefs, we need to learn not to compromise. No, it’s not easy being criticized. If anything, becoming vegan has opened my eyes to a whole new way of being criticized (not enough protein, not losing weight fast enough, not going to be healthy, etc…). But if you truly believe in something and seek to receive the rewards at the end, then you need to stand for whatever it is. But remember to stand in a loving way. Hate is fuel to the fire, but love (usually) softens the hardest of hearts. So speak to and treat each other in love, regardless of what a person chooses, but stay strong to yourself and don’t compromise on the beliefs you hold. Nobody in this world has the right to force their beliefs on people. But rather, keep an open ear and seek to find the Truth, and once you have the Truth, hold on to it. As humans, we are master justifiers, master liars, and master convincers. Don’t let someone talk you out of being yourself and believing what you’ve sought to be true.

For another pastor’s perspective, I found this to be a good, well-written, loving read with Biblical back-up.
http://todaychristian.net/a-detailed-explanation-of-why-christians-dont-accept-gay-marriage/

Week 8 Day 5

My teeth hurt so bad. Honestly, I cannot wait for this to get easier. Today I did not forget my pain pills!

Work went good, but it was busy. There were a lot of things to get done, especially since this weekend will be spent catching up on grading and doing report cards. If there is one job I would love to get rid of, it would be grading. If I had the money and could find a legal way to do it, I’d hire a grader. It would help so much.

**Any fellow teachers who may be reading this blog, I’m curious what one job you would get rid of if you could? Leave your answer in a comment below!

I also had a meeting after school which was actually a training session for our new tutors. It went very well. We reviewed the expectations for them, what tutoring looked like, and how to be a positive influence in the lives of the people they would be tutoring. It honestly went very well, and thankfully, the other teacher I’m working with did most of the talking so I didn’t have to do more than I could handle. I love when people can do such great teamwork!

Following this training session, my husband came and brought me a smoothie! Oh how nice it was! I still can’t chew anything, so liquid food it is! I packed up my stuff, and my husband helped since I’m so behind in grading (seriously, that football weekend messed me up). We came home, ate (or I drank my food), and went to the gym. Now, my husband ended up taking a nap so we did get to the gym late. This was ok for me, but he still had to work the next day. So I didn’t have enough time to finish my whole workout.

I did all of the back exercises, and saved the ab exercises to go with my workout the next day. That also meant I had to bump a cardio session to the next day as well. But we were able to get some stuff done and get home followed by a quick getting ready and into bed.

Those People That Make Me Smile

I do not know who you are, but you may recognize yourself in this blog post. And if you do, I want to personally reach out and thank you!

A couple weeks ago, as I was leaving my normal chiropractor/acupuncture appointment, I was left in a state of nowhere; nowhere to be emotionally. I neither felt happy nor upset. I was a blank slate, ready to adapt to whatever the world had to offer. And as I was in this stage, I drove down one of the few streets in the city where the branches of the trees meet each other creating a canopy over the road. The trees had already begun to change colours, and so the landscape was a beautiful yellow and orange blanket covering the sky. It was so beautiful! I noticed a few freelance photographers taking pictures of the view; moments of time frozen in the eternity of the digital world.

Wish I had gotten a picture, but the trees were almost this colour. So beautiful.

I continued to drive and noticed a woman at a bus stop. The weather was not the warmest, and yet she had her headphones in and was dancing and smiling to the music being played in her ears. Now here is someone that was enjoying every moment whether good or bad; doing with life what each one of us should do. And that’s where I began to smile.

I think we all could take a lesson in learning to dance in the rain.

We live in such a messed up world. There are so many bad things that we are bombarded with everyday. And yet these simple things are still there for us to find. These people, who really have no idea they’re influencing others, are there showing us that life can still be enjoyed, that life is still meant to be fun.

And so to you, if you are one of those people, I applaud you. Keep doing what you do because you never know whose day you make enhance just because you chose to enjoy that moment of life!

Today I Walked in the Office and Said “I Quit!”

Ok, so not really. But I did walk in and said that I felt like quitting.

Today was one of those days. Those days where you wish you had never gotten out of bed, that you called in sick, that anything would have happened except what did. Teachers, I’m sure you know the kind of day I’m talking about.

Today I had to deal with something I hoped to never deal with; something that totally broke my heart. Since I don’t have kids of my own, those school kids are so much more like my own children. They are the kids that I try to protect. And when something happens, I immediately attack myself that I did not do a good enough job training and guiding them in life. When something happens, I immediately feel like a failure.

Today was probably one of the worst things I’ve ever had to deal with. So immediately my thoughts were I had failed as a teacher, I had failed as a guide in the life of my student, and I wasn’t fit for my job. What a hit!

Teaching is such a large, tough responsibility. Parenting is a huge responsibility. Any career in which you work with children and youth is a huge responsibility. When working with children, you have to realize that everything you do, they are watching. Anything you do or say, they will carry with them the rest of their lives. What a scary thought!

And as a teacher, you are being entrusted with someone else’s child which carries an extra burden in itself. You strive to be a good influence in their lives. You strive to teach them such great morals in such a small time and when something happens (and it honestly only has to be one thing), you feel as if you’ve failed altogether. Nevermind the fact that you have so many other kids in the class. All it takes is one student, one incident, and you immediately begin to judge yourself.

That’s what I went through today. I wanted to cry. I wanted to quit. I wanted to go home. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and go to sleep so that I could forget about the world around me at that moment. But instead I took deep breaths and did what I needed to do to deal with the situation.

Today was a really hard day.

Fellow teachers, a lot of you have probably dealt with something similar. I feel your pain, I feel your stress. Please know that you are not alone. The devil’s presence is ever near to us and our students, which makes our job ever increasingly important in showing them God’s light and guiding them away from the devil’s tactics and creating their own personal relationships with a Saviour that will be with them always.

Do the best you can and be the role model those kids need. Pray for your students and the choices they will make. It’s the best thing you can really do.

The Dangers of Social Media

Social media has been an excellent way of connecting with others, of enhancing business advertisement, and of gathering resources that you need. Social media (though there are arguments against and for it) has enhanced our lives for the past few years especially. But aside from the many dangers of children with social media (I could make quite a list), I’ve noticed a trend in the ways social media are being used by adults, and it’s not a good one.

Things like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the many other media sites have allowed people to express their opinions. It’s become a method of posting what you’re doing at the moment, for the day, sharing stories of what happened during the day, and has just become a general communication tool for sharing your lives with the world. I know quite a few people who get annoyed with us, but if people feel like sharing, I personally do not see the harm in it.

My problem stems from the fact about complaining. There’s a difference to me in sharing a sad story looking for sympathy and a complaint of how the world (or specific people) have harmed you. When you’ve lost a pet or a family member, I expect you to need sympathetic support. But if someone has done you wrong, are you not being just as wrong by posting about them?

I think it’s funny how the Bible says our tongues are “sharper than a two-edged sword”. The words we say can be some of the most cutting things. I even recently did a lesson with my students on how the phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That’s not true at all. I can remember some of the hurtful things said to me as a kid. I may not govern my life by them, and have forgiven the people who have said them, but to me it’s easier to heal from that broken foot I had than to think I’m fat for the rest of my life.

I just think sometimes we don’t quite understand the harm we do ourselves because we’re too busy looking at the harm others have done to us. If someone spread something about you, it doesn’t make it better by then posting something about them. It’s a circle; a cycle. The worst part is, even when you omit the person’s name, the people who are close to you will still know who you are talking about. So were you really doing better by leaving the name out?

The other thing is you have to remember your influence on others. Just because you have a problem with someone doesn’t mean that everyone will have the same problem with that person. If you continue to complain and focus on the negatives of a person, are you really trying to help them? Are you really caring that you’re turning other people against them as well?

The hard truth is, we all have faults. We all sin. If you wouldn’t like someone to complain about your mistakes and turn people against you because of it, then maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to post about our problems with others.

There is a huge difference between having thoughts in your head and posting them online for the world to see. You can still think the same things and deal with them yourself or a trusted friend that you know will ask you to question your thoughts and truly reflect on them, without clouding other people’s views.

Just be careful what you post. You have no idea where that post may end up or who it may end up changing. Keep things positive!