Every once in awhile, I believe God allows things to happen to direct me to what I need to do/hear. Last night was one of those times. I was driving from a friend’s house to go home (actually, I was … Continue reading
I wish I could accurately describe what my life has been like the past while. However, no matter how hard I try, I cannot come up with a truly accurate description. The best I can do is tell you that … Continue reading
Journal:
This morning started out well. I was able to sleep in and even upon waking up, didn’t have to rush to go anywhere. We had until 2:00 to check out of our hotel room which – even though we didn’t stay that long – was really nice.
After showering, packing up, and leaving the hotel, we went and got some breakfast/lunch. We went back to the smoothie place we had yesterday and I got the same Marathon Smoothie but with a bit of a tweak: I asked for less ice and added pineapple juice. It was so much better today.
After driving to my mother-in-law’s house, we stopped at a local supplement store that also sells smoothies in house. So I ordered a custom smoothie that was simply water, frozen bananas, and frozen berries. This one did not taste so great, but I ate it anyway.
For a few hours in the afternoon, I visited with my mother-in-law and took a nap. I woke up in time to get ready for church and make a small smoothie before we left. This time I made a smoothie with two bananas and about a cup of raspberries. This one was pretty good.
Church was ok. The sermon was good, but the music beforehand involved a mini-rock concert that I felt was definitely not the time nor place; I actually felt like it took away from the service. The praise team leader was jumping all around the stage with his guitar, head banging the whole time, and encouraging the drummer to always play louder. Sometimes, the drumming took over the whole music so that if it wasn’t for the words on the screens, I wouldn’t have had any idea what they were singing. It honestly was a bit much.
After church, we had a bit of a surprise: My mother-in-law took us out for a late supper. When she asked where I would like to go, instead of saying my usual, “Oh it doesn’t matter to me at all.”, I requested Chilli’s right away. The reason being, is that this small town that she lives in does not have a “restaurant” that serves smoothies. Not one at all. And instead of completely blowing this smoothie day again, I knew that Chilli’s has a salad that they put a lot of fruit in. And out of all the restaurants in town, it’s the only one I know I could still eat raw at and eat fairly light. Guys, I told you… it’s back to being dedicated!! I know it wasn’t a smoothie, but it was the best case situation. And even though I knew it wouldn’t fill me up, I was sticking with my game plan.
So at Chilli’s, I ordered the Caribbean salad. It contains greens (including spinach), pineapple, mandarin oranges, dried cranberries, red bell peppers, green onions, cilantro and sesame seeds topped with some lime. I then added some slices of avocado to it. Oh it was so good! I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though, as I predicted, it did not fill me up.
Following supper, my husband and his mother stopped at Cold Stone for ice cream. Did I fall for this stop? Nope. I waited until I got home to make a smoothie.
For the smoothie that ended off my day of eating, I blended two bananas, a cup of raspberries and five deglet dates. The deglet noor dates are actually my favourite, though they seemed less sweeter than the ones I usually get in Canada which is surprising. But, I am happy to say that I stuck with raw foods today, primarily being smoothies. I am getting back on track!
Review of Symptoms:
-Tongue still clean in the morning (surprising!).
-Didn’t feel so well after eating all of those salted chips last night and such high fat.
-Was nice to eat out with family and still stick to raw foods.
-Smoothies are not so sweet without added sugar so definitely looking forward to moving past the smoothie stage though I think I’m going to be doing smoothies for a little longer as my full smoothie days hasn’t really been a “thing” lately.
-Digestion is top notch when I’m NOT eating cooked foods. There is definitely a difference.
Weight at the end of the day = 178 lbs (down 0.6 lbs from two days ago)
Total Calories = approx. 1719 (85% carbs, 12% fat, 3% protein)
Journal:
So, today was a planned write-off. Yes, I planned it as a write-off. Now that the day is over, am I regretting it? Yes, actually I am. I feel like I just started cleansing the little bit of cooked food out of my system thoroughly with my banana day and my juice day, and I’ve filled myself with stuff that may stuff-up my digestion all over again. And since today was a planned write-off day, I made a few mistakes that I will explain.
This morning, I had to get up at 6:00 am to get a shower and get ready to leave. I received four pears in my latest Organic Box that looked ready to go. So I figured they would be an easy breakfast to eat quickly. However, I don’t think they were ripe enough because the one pear that I did eat was not good. So I only managed to eat half before throwing it out. That did not work. I did manage to pack some red grapes and a plum for the drive, but between being tired and talking, I only managed to eat about a cup of grapes before arriving for our day-long meeting.
So why didn’t I just take juice with me on this day? Well, being that the meeting was in a church, I didn’t feel right taking a large bottle of juice in with me. That being said, I only have one small water bottle to take with me and that would not last me the day. Yes, I could have left juice in the car, but if it was hot, the juice could have gone bad. And not just that, I didn’t take my own car as I carpooled with someone else so I would have had to bother them for the keys each time I needed to refill my bottle. So that is why I allowed myself a write-off day. Again, if I could go back, I would have put in the extra effort to take the juice, but we live and learn… right? I’m making these mistakes for you so you can learn from me. That’s the whole purpose of sharing this journey with you.
So during the meeting, I started getting hungry. They had given us a new bottle of water, but I didn’t eat enough in the morning to concentrate for four hours until lunch. So I dug around in my bag and found a crunchy peanut Clif bar. Was it good? It was alright. It actually was probably just like I remembered them: good but with a zing that is not my completely favourite part. However, it held me over until lunch.
For lunch, they had a catering company come in. I actually have had the food from this company before during one of our conference-wide teacher’s meetings. I had bean sprout salad, tomatoes, cauliflower, broccoli, rice-filled cabbage rolls, corn, steamed veggies, sautéed veggies (could have done without this one), a whole-grain bun and some vegan meatballs in a sweet and sour sauce. There were no vegan desserts, so I did not indulge in that. I mean, the food was an awesome break from the sweetness of juices. It was definitely a savoury meal. BUT I lost interest about halfway through the meal and wished I had my juice. Man, it’s so weird learning how my body has changed. It really is. I was not tempted whatsoever by the non-vegan items there (again, they don’t serve meat but a lot are vegetarian so dairy is an issue). And even though I’ve been wanting savoury things for such a long time, a little goes a long way.
Following lunch, we had another four and a half hours of meeting. Thankfully, I got a lot of work done while the meeting was going on as I had brought work with me. So really, it was not a total waste of a day. I at least was being productive! Naturally, I was not hungry whatsoever as this food was heavy in my stomach. I didn’t even finish the plate… I honestly couldn’t. I can’t eat what I used to!
When the meeting was finally over, we headed over to what used to be the ABC store. They recently changed the name of it and I honestly can’t remember what it is! But either way, they sell all kinds of vegan and vegetarian food items as well as books and all kinds of music and kid’s things. It’s one of my favourite stores. Since we didn’t have a lot of time and I was also catching up with a friend in the store, I grabbed a quick treat of vegan jerky for the trip home. Now this is something I shouldn’t have done. I didn’t really need it. This is when I discovered that old habits die hard! Even when I have a “write-off” day, I need to remember that just because I can have something doesn’t mean I have to. It’s better not to stuff yourself with junk that you will regret later. Really decide if it’s worth it instead of just doing it. Again, learn from me.
We didn’t get home until 7:00 pm. It truly was a late day. In my e-mail, a few days ago, I received a coupon for a free 6″ sub at Subway. So I decided that I would get supper from there. I had a 6″ veggie sub with almost all the veggies, a bit of mustard and some sweet onion sauce. I know it may sound weird, but it’s actually good. It was much lighter than lunch so it sat a little better in my stomach. Still, I’m looking forward to my juice day tomorrow. How weird is that?
The weird thing about coming home after Subway though was my spurt of energy. I just had so much energy that I went out to my stairs and did 2 sets of 10 step ups for each leg on them. Random energy bursts to exercise? I support this! And I wasn’t even done yet…
I went and sat down for a few minutes, but decided I still had some more energy to go. So I put on some good music and did a “Fight Club Workout”. It went something like this:
1. Warm-up: 5 minutes of a basic left and right punch
2. 12 Lunges with Front Kicks (each side)
3. 1 minute of the warm-up
4. 12 Turn, Block, and Punches (each arm)
5. 1 minute of the warm-up
6. 12 Head Crushers (each side)
7. 1 minute of the warm-up
8. 12 Push-Ups (on my knees)
9. 1 minute of the warm-up
Repeat circuit one more time.
Man, it was such a fun workout. I was a bit worried as I heard quite a bit of “snapping” as I threw punches (I’ve had absolutely no training in this area) but I don’t think I injured myself so it’s all good!
After the fun workout, I made a mango smoothie. Oh my goodness! I wasn’t going to take a picture today because I try not to encourage eating the food that shouldn’t be eating yet (aka I should be on juices and thus should only show juice pictures) but these mangoes were DELICIOUS! I bought these 14 mangoes about a week ago and they were hard as a rock. Only 4 of them have softened so I’m still waiting for the others. But these 4 were so good and made such a delicious drink. Now these I could eat all day. I’m really beginning to think that if I had properly ripened fruit in the right seasons, this journey would be going a lot better than it is. But we do the best with what we got! I mean, do you see the colour of this thing? So good…
After drinking my super satisfying smoothie, I got ready for bed. It has been a long but good day. I’m hoping this will be the start of a slightly easier work week!
Review of Symptoms:
-Acne is the same.
-Digestion on hold… again…
-Heavier stomach feeling from eating so much.
-Thick saliva again.
-Hair is so-so greasy feeling today. Still a little better than normal.
-Energy was awesome today.
-Very productive.
Weight at the end of the day = 182.6 lbs (up 8 lbs from yesterday! Woah!)
Total Calories = approx. 2560 (56% carbs, 21% fat, 23% protein… I ate a lot today! I’m actually surprised the macro split isn’t worse than this!)
I had an amazing experience yesterday and I thought I’d share it with you all as some of you may be blessed by something similar to what I was.
I went to a church that I’m definitely not a stranger to. I went there all the time as a youth, knew the senior pastor well, and have been teaching for a few years with the pastor’s wife. There are two churches in my city that I consider “home”, and this is one of them. I still go there every so often. But yesterday seemed so different.
When everything was going against me, and the devil truly was trying to distract me as much as possible so I wouldn’t make it to church, I was embarrassed to find out I was almost 10 minutes late. I hate being late. And so naturally, I was down on myself for not making it there on time. But when I went through the front doors, the greeter who was trying to pay attention to the song service, raced right over, gave me such a welcoming greeting, and offered me a bulletin. I know the greeters are normally nice, but it seemed a little extra today.
I then went over to the doors to enter the sanctuary and a man raced over saying, “Let me get the doors for you.” Wow! Talk about such friendly service today.
I then went and sat down by myself. The row in front of me was full. I was thankful I hadn’t missed all of song service because it’s my favourite part. I seem to connect with Christ the best with worship music. There’s just something about a whole congregation of people coming together to sing praises to God.
Worship service concluded, the sermon proceeded, and everything went well. But it was after closing prayer, as everyone was getting up to leave, that the man directly in front of me turned around and told me what a beautiful voice I had. He waited throughout the entire sermon to tell me that! But to make matters even more special, let me give you a little background.
Someone very close to me used to love hearing me sing. I am definitely a person who needs encouraging words, and so when someone says that kind of thing to me, it means a lot. The past couple years, this person has gone so far as to tell me to stop singing and that I ruin music when I sing along to it. There’s been a lot of hurt over it, but as per everything else, I just learn to deal with it.
Now fast forward to the first person in years, a complete stranger, who took the time and effort to tell me I had a beautiful singing voice. Can you imagine how refreshing that was for me to hear? I almost cried. But instead all I could do is say the biggest thank you. Truly, despite being late, despite the devil trying to prevent me from going to church, church was truly the right place for me to be. ❤
Yesterday morning, I jumped in my car like usual. I drove to the end of the driveway like usual, and turned down our street like usual. But something was slightly unusual about today, and that was the atmosphere around me.
I normally have the radio tuned into our local Christian station, but my husband had taken my car to the gym the night before without me. So instead, I turned on the ignition to the beginning of the song, “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa. I normally don’t like his music, but with the impact this song had, especially at the end of the latest Fast and Furious. I really, really like this song. Mix that song, with gray skies, and light rain. Perfection. A certain mood attained. Just right for this moment.
When I was younger, my mother always drove when she was upset. In fact, we probably spent more time on the road than we ever did at home. Whether it was driving at the end of the school week to visit my grandparents, and then waiting until the morning of school to get up extra early and drive back in time to meet our bus, we were always on the road. It was a way of life.
My favourite was always being in the passenger seat while my mother was driving, when the skies were dark and there was a light rain with the radio on. To me, that speaks comfort. To me, that speaks perfection. To me, that speaks home. I may be a case of a kid who never really knew what home was. I may be a case of a person who has a distorted way of looking at things. But as an adult, I feel that in my confusion and unstable life, I have found the very things that can be stable, that can be comforting, no matter what season of life one may be in.
So call me crazy, or whatever you please. But I have security in the fact I have experienced so much in life. I’ve been through troubling places, I’ve lived and experienced so many different cultures and schools. I have been dragged through the fire multiple times, and yet I can tell you exactly how not to fall apart when others may possibly see no way out.
I’m not a person who has despised my childhood, but rather a person who is thankful for learning what is most important to survive whatever may come in an adult life. You can plan your life, you can plan your job, your spouse, your schooling, etc… But plans rarely work out the way they are supposed to. The one thing you can prepare is your reactions, your attitude, and your stability. If you have that, with God by your side, it won’t matter whether money is an obstacle or struggle. Because you’ve already learned how to deal with change before.
It pays to be happy with the little things in life, because it’s the little things that will keep you going. So learn now what makes you happy, learn now how to react to change. Find comfort in the things that are stable to you, even if it’s driving in a car on a gray, rainy day.
You would think that I’d be more rested today, but that wasn’t the case. I’m so tired and worn out. I’m not getting the rest and the sleep that I need. My body is not recovering.
Somehow I made it out of bed and got to work barely on time. It was another odd day as we had another presenter come for our grades 5-8 assembly. He spoke about his career in acting, his involvement in the music industry, and the things he’d learned about the devil’s involvement and God’s leading. It was an incredible, immaculate presentation which of course left the students with a million questions, and yet again, we had another day where I feel like very little curriculum was actually taught. But when it comes to important questions, I am always game.
This afternoon was bad though. I hit a low. I was tired. I just wanted to put my head down on my desk and sleep. Thankfully, today was my recess duties and the air outside helped me to wake up some.
Today’s workout was mainly three circuits based on back and biceps with a few extra thrown in there. But I noticed that I really struggled with one particular exercise tonight: Box Jumps.
I’m not a jumper. Never have been. I was on the starting line-up the one year I played basketball because I was tall, not because I would jump. They would make me spend so much time jumping against the brick wall, trying to get me to jump higher and higher. But I’m not a jumper. There is no spring in my jump. That being said, I was scared of box jumps for the longest time. I envisioned falling and crashing my knees into the box. And so when our coach started using box jumps, I was hesitant. Instead of going directly to a “box”, I began with the step-up steps so that I could start very small and add levels as I went.
My first set tonight had 4 levels up and I was fine. My second set had 5 levels up and I was fine. But when I got to that 6th level, I freaked. Normally, to beat my mind, I stand on the top and jump down first so that my body realizes the distance between the top and the floor. But even though I could do this many times in a row, my body at some points refused to complete the jump. I found myself several times with my right foot on the top of the jump, and my left foot landing on the floor. My own brain was ceasing my body’s progress!
I can’t deny it was a struggle. It wasn’t that I was incapable, but simply that my brain was telling me that I couldn’t. But I knew better. It may have taken me twice to three times as long as any other set, but I got it done. I beat my brain. I was capable and I showed myself that.
My bed was very welcoming tonight and after both the mental and physical battles in the gym, I was ever so ready to go to sleep.
I do not know who you are, but you may recognize yourself in this blog post. And if you do, I want to personally reach out and thank you!
A couple weeks ago, as I was leaving my normal chiropractor/acupuncture appointment, I was left in a state of nowhere; nowhere to be emotionally. I neither felt happy nor upset. I was a blank slate, ready to adapt to whatever the world had to offer. And as I was in this stage, I drove down one of the few streets in the city where the branches of the trees meet each other creating a canopy over the road. The trees had already begun to change colours, and so the landscape was a beautiful yellow and orange blanket covering the sky. It was so beautiful! I noticed a few freelance photographers taking pictures of the view; moments of time frozen in the eternity of the digital world.
Wish I had gotten a picture, but the trees were almost this colour. So beautiful.
I continued to drive and noticed a woman at a bus stop. The weather was not the warmest, and yet she had her headphones in and was dancing and smiling to the music being played in her ears. Now here is someone that was enjoying every moment whether good or bad; doing with life what each one of us should do. And that’s where I began to smile.
I think we all could take a lesson in learning to dance in the rain.
We live in such a messed up world. There are so many bad things that we are bombarded with everyday. And yet these simple things are still there for us to find. These people, who really have no idea they’re influencing others, are there showing us that life can still be enjoyed, that life is still meant to be fun.
And so to you, if you are one of those people, I applaud you. Keep doing what you do because you never know whose day you make enhance just because you chose to enjoy that moment of life!
Calm in Christ and Fitness 