Lesson Learned: Take Care of Yourself First – Healing Journey Day 52

Journal:
Today was starting to be a good day, minus the fact that I woke up exhausted with both eyes bloodshot. I do have minor soreness in my legs and back from the soccer game yesterday, but honestly I wasn’t doing too badly. I do have to admit that my stomach felt terrible this morning, almost like I was going to be sick. I’m not entirely sure what caused this. I know I ate more calories than normal yesterday, and I also know that I ate really late at night, trying to stuff in as much of that salad as I could. So realistically, I have to quit eating so late, get more sleep, spend less time on the computer, and drink more water. I think my body is DYING for some water, and I have to respond.

On a side note, I washed my hair for the first time in two weeks this morning with a regular shampoo and conditioner. It feels so extremely clean that it’s almost too much. It actually became full of static throughout the day and felt much drier than normal. I may have to reevaluate the use of traditional soaps at all.

So I didn’t leave myself enough time to prep my grapes this morning. That meant trying to find time to wash them and eat them throughout the morning which did not work. I maybe had one cup worth of grapes out of the whole bag. This was not a good start to the day. By the time lunch rolled around, we were reminded that today was a pizza party day and that just threw me off course completely. Our pizza was late arriving and I wanted to fill my students up on something healthy before they ate junk, so I shared my grapes with them. They loved them and were so thankful, but of course this left not much for me. Let’s just say, the rest of the day was completely thrown off. I was so tired I contemplated sleeping during my spares, my patience was not at my normal level, I wasn’t dealing with things the way I normally do, and I knew that I couldn’t go home until late because I had a meeting after school and a few deadlines to meet today. Today was the first day in a long time that I will actually say that I wasn’t handling life well. My body was telling me it had had enough, that it was time to rest, to stop working towards deadlines, to stop staying up so late working on the computer, and to start taking a break.

When my school day was finally over, I went home and instead of resting right away, decided to get my town things done. I was short two peaches for the week’s menu so I stopped in to the grocery store and got some. I then went to the gym and completed three different ab exercises, as well as ran 16 interval-style laps in the group fitness room. I was DEAD by the end. My legs were so exhausted from two days of running, which is something I never do. I was sore; it was incredible. My legs definitely need a break to heal and recover. Surprisingly my lower back was aching as well which I can only assume is from the kicking that was incorporated with soccer, but who knows.

Later in the evening, I started getting this pinpoint pain in my knee. Now that was scary. Thankfully, it didn’t last forever but it was definitely the weirdest thing I ever experienced. I am going to have to be extremely careful when playing soccer, warming up properly and cooling down, stretch all the while. I need this body to last me a long time.

Guys, if you can learn any advice from today, from my experience, let it be this: You will not be successful unless you are taking care of yourself first. Get the right amount of sleep. Drink a lot of water. Rest your eyes from too much screen time. Rest your brain from the duties of each day. If you are a Christian, take the time to spend with God so He can give you His rest. And really fill your own bucket before stepping out to fill others. It’s not only important, it’s essential. You will be much more successful if you follow those steps.

Review of Symptoms:
-Tired
-Energy is good
-Short-term pinpoint knee pain?
-Slight tongue scraping is being needed again
-Stomach is NOT happy
-Acne is not so good.
-Leg and lower back muscles are so sore.
-Bloodshot eyes
-Feeling the dehydration
-Hair is full of static!

Weight at the end of the day = 170.6 lbs (up 3.8 lbs from yesterday… ugh…)

Total Calories = 1877 (64% carbs, 14% fat, 22% protein)

Week 7 Day 4

You would think that I’d be more rested today, but that wasn’t the case. I’m so tired and worn out. I’m not getting the rest and the sleep that I need. My body is not recovering.

Somehow I made it out of bed and got to work barely on time. It was another odd day as we had another presenter come for our grades 5-8 assembly. He spoke about his career in acting, his involvement in the music industry, and the things he’d learned about the devil’s involvement and God’s leading. It was an incredible, immaculate presentation which of course left the students with a million questions, and yet again, we had another day where I feel like very little curriculum was actually taught. But when it comes to important questions, I am always game.

This afternoon was bad though. I hit a low. I was tired. I just wanted to put my head down on my desk and sleep. Thankfully, today was my recess duties and the air outside helped me to wake up some.

Today’s workout was mainly three circuits based on back and biceps with a few extra thrown in there. But I noticed that I really struggled with one particular exercise tonight: Box Jumps.

I’m not a jumper. Never have been. I was on the starting line-up the one year I played basketball because I was tall, not because I would jump. They would make me spend so much time jumping against the brick wall, trying to get me to jump higher and higher. But I’m not a jumper. There is no spring in my jump. That being said, I was scared of box jumps for the longest time. I envisioned falling and crashing my knees into the box. And so when our coach started using box jumps, I was hesitant. Instead of going directly to a “box”, I began with the step-up steps so that I could start very small and add levels as I went.

My first set tonight had 4 levels up and I was fine. My second set had 5 levels up and I was fine. But when I got to that 6th level, I freaked. Normally, to beat my mind, I stand on the top and jump down first so that my body realizes the distance between the top and the floor. But even though I could do this many times in a row, my body at some points refused to complete the jump. I found myself several times with my right foot on the top of the jump, and my left foot landing on the floor. My own brain was ceasing my body’s progress!

I can’t deny it was a struggle. It wasn’t that I was incapable, but simply that my brain was telling me that I couldn’t. But I knew better. It may have taken me twice to three times as long as any other set, but I got it done. I beat my brain. I was capable and I showed myself that.

My bed was very welcoming tonight and after both the mental and physical battles in the gym, I was ever so ready to go to sleep.

Just Enough

Patience. Often something we lack. I’m not talking about the kind of patience where you take deep breaths when you’re struggling with something or waiting for someone who is running late. I’m talking patience when you’re waiting for an answer to something and it never seems to come. That’s the patience I’m talking about.

This whole immigration thing with my husband frustrates me to no end. Now they’ve lost his FBI record that took us almost 3 months to get. I know they had it because I sent it in the same envelope as the Work Permit application. He got his work permit, meaning they got the FBI record. Yet they don’t have any record of it? I have a funny feeling I’m going to be waiting more than another 3 months… 

But this whole situation really got me thinking. What if for right now, the work permit is enough? What about those nasty snow storms we had last winter, and yet we had a vehicle that sporadically ran. But wasn’t that enough to get us through all the days we desperately needed a car? It was a pain to have my basement flood and the endless disgust that came with the duties of pumping it all out, but wasn’t it contained just enough to not destroy many expensive things? I hate my washer and dryer. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the washer blows up one day. But isn’t it just enough that I have a washer and dryer that I didn’t have to pay for and that get the job done for now? My husband may not have his residency yet which does put some of our plans and decisions on hold. But isn’t it just enough that he does get to be here with me and can legally work? And maybe the time they told him to leave the country and then said he shouldn’t have left the country, and then got stopped at the border for two hours almost to not be let in the country, wasn’t that enough that they at least let him through the border with a visitor visa? 

Funny enough, as coincidental as this is, I’m currently sitting in the car, my husband has just come out from looking at other vehicle options, and our car won’t start. And I’m not quite frankly sure how this is going to end. But the one thing I do know is that it is just enough that I have options.

It is just enough that we can ask someone to boost us and hopefully that will work. It is just enough that if necessary, I pay yearly for AMA coverage which includes a few tows if I need them. It is just enough that I even have a car that has gotten me around this long. It is just enough that although we couldn’t do it for long, we do have the money to pay for a taxi to go home. And it is just enough to know that we were already planning on another vehicle – although we were hoping for it to be a second vehicle – so that if need be, we can get another vehicle fast. 

Praise God that He knows what we need and gives us JUST ENOUGH ❤

I’m not going to stay long because I do need to be with my husband at this frustrating moment. But I write to you so that you know, even if things don’t quite turn out the way you want or the way you expect, God will provide you with just enough to get through whatever it is, and just enough to keep you going. 

Sometimes everything we think we need is so far from what we actually need, and that’s where trusting in God and being patient upon His answers can be so hard. But I challenge you today. Look at the things He’s given you that are just enough, and go from there.