Lesson Learned: Take Care of Yourself First – Healing Journey Day 52

Journal:
Today was starting to be a good day, minus the fact that I woke up exhausted with both eyes bloodshot. I do have minor soreness in my legs and back from the soccer game yesterday, but honestly I wasn’t doing too badly. I do have to admit that my stomach felt terrible this morning, almost like I was going to be sick. I’m not entirely sure what caused this. I know I ate more calories than normal yesterday, and I also know that I ate really late at night, trying to stuff in as much of that salad as I could. So realistically, I have to quit eating so late, get more sleep, spend less time on the computer, and drink more water. I think my body is DYING for some water, and I have to respond.

On a side note, I washed my hair for the first time in two weeks this morning with a regular shampoo and conditioner. It feels so extremely clean that it’s almost too much. It actually became full of static throughout the day and felt much drier than normal. I may have to reevaluate the use of traditional soaps at all.

So I didn’t leave myself enough time to prep my grapes this morning. That meant trying to find time to wash them and eat them throughout the morning which did not work. I maybe had one cup worth of grapes out of the whole bag. This was not a good start to the day. By the time lunch rolled around, we were reminded that today was a pizza party day and that just threw me off course completely. Our pizza was late arriving and I wanted to fill my students up on something healthy before they ate junk, so I shared my grapes with them. They loved them and were so thankful, but of course this left not much for me. Let’s just say, the rest of the day was completely thrown off. I was so tired I contemplated sleeping during my spares, my patience was not at my normal level, I wasn’t dealing with things the way I normally do, and I knew that I couldn’t go home until late because I had a meeting after school and a few deadlines to meet today. Today was the first day in a long time that I will actually say that I wasn’t handling life well. My body was telling me it had had enough, that it was time to rest, to stop working towards deadlines, to stop staying up so late working on the computer, and to start taking a break.

When my school day was finally over, I went home and instead of resting right away, decided to get my town things done. I was short two peaches for the week’s menu so I stopped in to the grocery store and got some. I then went to the gym and completed three different ab exercises, as well as ran 16 interval-style laps in the group fitness room. I was DEAD by the end. My legs were so exhausted from two days of running, which is something I never do. I was sore; it was incredible. My legs definitely need a break to heal and recover. Surprisingly my lower back was aching as well which I can only assume is from the kicking that was incorporated with soccer, but who knows.

Later in the evening, I started getting this pinpoint pain in my knee. Now that was scary. Thankfully, it didn’t last forever but it was definitely the weirdest thing I ever experienced. I am going to have to be extremely careful when playing soccer, warming up properly and cooling down, stretch all the while. I need this body to last me a long time.

Guys, if you can learn any advice from today, from my experience, let it be this: You will not be successful unless you are taking care of yourself first. Get the right amount of sleep. Drink a lot of water. Rest your eyes from too much screen time. Rest your brain from the duties of each day. If you are a Christian, take the time to spend with God so He can give you His rest. And really fill your own bucket before stepping out to fill others. It’s not only important, it’s essential. You will be much more successful if you follow those steps.

Review of Symptoms:
-Tired
-Energy is good
-Short-term pinpoint knee pain?
-Slight tongue scraping is being needed again
-Stomach is NOT happy
-Acne is not so good.
-Leg and lower back muscles are so sore.
-Bloodshot eyes
-Feeling the dehydration
-Hair is full of static!

Weight at the end of the day = 170.6 lbs (up 3.8 lbs from yesterday… ugh…)

Total Calories = 1877 (64% carbs, 14% fat, 22% protein)

The Flop – Healing Journey Day 19

Journal:
I don’t even really want to write this post today. I’m exhausted; drained. Not getting home before 6:30 at the earliest (8:30 at the latest) each and every work day is wearing me out. Not to mention, that does not include getting everything I need done, done. I’m behind on almost everything that I should have done by now as a teacher. But it is because I have had such a difficult start to the year… and I thought last year was bad! Oh how little did I know back then…

So in the entirety of an insane day, I ate 2 bananas. That’s it. By the time I finally got home (around 7:00 pm or shortly after), not only was I exhausted, but I was also extremely hungry. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling after today’s after-school meeting. A decision was made that I was honestly sitting on the fence about. It either meant I was going to have a much easier rest of the year, or that I had to prepare for what could be a very difficult and exhausting year in its entirety. My heart was being optimistic, but my head was being realistic. And though the decision was to press forward and though my heart was prepared, my head was left wondering what I may be preparing to put myself through. I was a slight emotional disaster. Needless to say, it was not a good situation.

So what did I do? I gave in. The thought of bananas almost sickened me and I went out. It was late; the skies were dark. I was emotional, exhausted, drained, and hungry. I was reaching for comfort which is something I rarely do. In fact, I normally don’t eat when I’m stressed or upset. So whether the chips from yesterday had something to do with the immense desire for something else or not, I’m not 100% sure but I would assume that it did. The interesting part is that I did not want my usual comfort foods. My usual Mexican place did not entice me. I didn’t want the heavy feeling of beans and rice in my stomach (something I normally would have jumped on right away before I started this journey). I didn’t want a huge, cooked, gourmet meal from a sit-down restaurant. I wanted a pita (not  even the type of bread I normally want as I usually want fluffy bread) filled with fresh veggies. What a craving. If all I had ever craved in my life was a flat, pocket pita bread with fresh veggies in it, weight would never have been an issue. But either way, I decided I needed to listen to my body today after all the punishment it’s been through and I went off.

I went to Extreme Pita and ordered a regular falafel on white. I added lightly sautéed veggies (green pepper, onions and mushrooms sautéed in water not oil), pineapple, tabouleh, pickles, lettuce, tomato, a tablespoon of beans and chickpeas (decided to see how I would react to so little), and topped it with about a tablespoon of hummus and some sweet chilli sauce.

The first few bites were pretty good. It felt so good to just get out, sit down, stop stressing about the one thing my mind has been on lately since a decision was finally made, and just enjoy some free time for the first time in weeks. I say “free time”, but even while I was eating I was responding to work e-mails and catching up on work-related things that I should have done before but never had the time to. However, if I am truly honest, about half-way through the pita, it wasn’t tasting as good as it had. It’s not that anything had changed, but I simply realized it didn’t taste as good to me as it once had. My body has changed throughout this challenge. I don’t crave the heavy feeling in my stomach anymore. Cooked food does not taste as good to me as it once did. Yes, I am realizing that I don’t crave sweetness all of the time anymore, especially since I have been craving the taste of veggies to get a break from the fruit for quite awhile. But my body is not the same as it was before. And though I had the biggest fear of starving all the time when I started this challenge, I have not experienced even close to the amount of weakness and feelings of death as I thought I would have been. It’s quite incredible to say the least.

So after eating, I drove to the gym. I had full intentions of going in and doing something. But as I paused to sit in my car for just a few moments to finish letting the day sink in, I realized that this was the furthest thing from what my body wanted today. It wasn’t a day where I had to go to something because I was so stressed. It was a day where all the stress led to this decision and now that the decision was made, that is one stress that is gone. My body wanted to rest. It didn’t want to keep giving output when it finally had a chance to take a breath. Once I realized this, I left and drove home. Three and a half weeks of stress, of never taking a break while things were happening every single day, of not sleeping enough, and of meetings every single work day, it was time to just say no. It honestly was the best thing I could have done. Sometimes we simply need to listen to our bodies.

When I got home, I noticed those oatmeal bars that I had received the other day. I decided since I had already blown my banana day by eating a pita, I might as well try the squares. Don’t let yourself get into this mindset. It’s not worth it. I ended up eating a piece of a square only to taste flour. Oh my word. It took me back to being a child when you think the flour should taste good just because cookie dough tastes good. And when you take a big bite of flour, you sadly realize how wrong you were. Though this clearly wasn’t all flour, that’s the biggest flavour I had in my mouth. Now, if I had not been doing this cleanse, I guarantee it would have tasted different to me. But because of this cleanse, because my body has changed so much and flavours are so noticeable to me, that’s what I could taste and I had no motivation to continue eating them.

I relaxed for awhile, then went to sleep. Tomorrow is hopefully a brighter day.

Review of Symptoms:
-Exhausted.
-Stressed.
-Hungry after eating only 2 bananas all day.
-Taste buds are SUPER sensitive.
-Acne is the same.
-Despite eating a little, energy is still there.

Weight at the end of the day = 174.6 lbs (same as yesterday)

Total Calories = approx. 861 (68% carbs, 22% fat, 10% protein… a little high in fat)

I Prayed for 10 Years, and God Answered

Sometimes in life, there are things we don’t know how to approach. There are people we want to say things to to, but for some reason can’t find the right words. Sometimes, they can be missed opportunities that are missed out of fear. Sometimes, they are missed because we keep waiting for something or someone else to bring up the topic so that we have an opportunity to put in our heartfelt words that we need to say. Some people unfortunately underestimate the amount of time that is available for some things to be said.

For years I have been trying to get enough courage or find the right moment to talk to my father about God; about my views on God and trying to find out exactly where he’s at. My father believes in God, absolutely. But after learning about how awesome it is to be a child of God, that you can openly talk to God as a friend and call him Father, Papa, or even Daddy if you’d like, it left me in a state of uneasiness seeing my dad only ever refer to Him as things like “The Man Upstairs”. I didn’t get a sense of owning God, of realizing that God loved Him. But how do I bring up such a sensitive topic with my own father? I know, I know. Some of you would say that I should love my father enough to bring it up regardless, but just pause for a moment. This is my father. I care about him more than the average person I would meet and talk about God with. I don’t want to mess it up. I don’t want him to ask questions I don’t know the answer to. If I want to talk about it, I want to do it right, and there were not enough rehearsals to ever make me feel prepared.

But God changed that this summer.

Now, I think part of the reason is I had to tell my family I had turned vegan. They were used to me being vegetarian before, so in reality, vegan wasn’t much more of a step. They took the news a lot better this time than they did originally when I turned vegetarian, so I’m assuming I had them “warmed-up” for the big change.

Because I had to tell my family I was vegan, Dad asked me why I made the switch this time. I loved this question! I had the opportunity to tell my dad about the health benefits of being vegan and how much better it is. I didn’t go into incredible details of the effects on animals because my dad wasn’t there yet. But what did surprise me was one of the responses he did give me, which was simply this: “I could probably live without meat. But I guess my thing is I don’t want to. I love my steak.”

Now I know, there are definitely some people in the vegan community who would start criticizing my dad right away. I have heard and seen all the criticisms that could be used against his statement. But just hold on a second, after all, I know my dad better than you.

His statement was honest. He didn’t lie about it, he didn’t make excuses, he told the truth. He even admitted (for the first time ever) that he could probably live without meat! How big of a reality is that! This, coming from a man who literally grew up on the vegetables his mother grew in the garden, and the meat his father hunted in the woods. Even to this day, the family gets together to share moose meat if someone wins their moose license. It’s a way for them to save money and stock up the food supplies for the winter. Remember, New Brunswick’s economy is not huge by any means. And, if you think of it that way, he didn’t even go off listing a whole bunch of meats he couldn’t live without, he said one – steak. Now, I don’t support the killing of animals, I really don’t. But if he could even stop eating all other meats and only have steak once in awhile, that still saves lives! There is room for progress! So anyways, you can feel my excitement and hopefully understand it over that reply.

So I don’t know if it was because he was already asking me why I eat the way I eat or what, but he then asked me a question I have been waiting YEARS to answer, and that was about my faith. Now he didn’t ask an open-ended question such as what I believe, but he kind of asked in a weird way how my beliefs were compared to Catholicism. Now I can’t claim that he was questioning Catholicism, but I can say that he NEVER would have asked me this before. In fact, when I was baptized Seventh-day Adventist, my grandparents (his parents) told me I was playing with religions and that you should stick to the one you were born into. They are very set in following traditions which is also what the Catholic church holds onto, so I always saw my father having the same mindset.

Regardless, he opened up.

I asked him to clarify a little, and he basically asked if my beliefs had Saints like the Catholic church does, or if we pray to Mary, or those kinds of things. Now, imagine my heart bursting wide open at this point. Again, he may not be questioning things about the Catholic church that I don’t believe in, but it almost sounds like he is! So I just say no, and explain that everything we believe comes straight out of the Bible, and that we did have a “prophet” within the last century who passed all the tests as provided by the Bible as to how to recognize a true prophet or not, and though we don’t worship her or praise her, we do use her inspired teachings/writings as a deeper way to understand some of the confusing things in the Bible. After all, the Bible was written by God-inspired people. So it does make sense that somebody could have been chosen to be inspired by God again, which is why they conducted the Bible’s prophet tests on her to make sure she was truly being led by God. And I continued to explain to him that of course the Bible comes first, that we always pray to God, and that we do also believe in the Trinity: God (Father), Jesus (Son), and the Holy Spirit. But I told him (to emphasize the point) that everything we (or at least I) try to believe has to be based in the Bible, as tricky as that can be sometimes.

I’m not sure how my dad took all of that. It definitely wasn’t everything I wanted to say, but it was enough for the situation we were in. I wish I could say my dad said we’d continue the conversation later, but he didn’t. Mind you, we were in a busy situation, but I’m holding onto the fact that I’m praying God used that moment to plant seeds in my dad’s heart and mind. I’m praying that my dad will realize the greater relationship he could have with God than I think he does. I want that so bad for my dad, but as many of us know, if you push things, the person will usually retract. So for now, I’m being thankful God gave me that opportunity after so many years and will continue to pray that maybe Dad will ask me about things again so I can dive a little more into the personal relationship side of things. I’m still in awe that God did this for me, even though it has taken 10 or so years. God does answer prayer, that’s a fact.

So to end on a little extra happy note, my step mother and I have never talked about religion. I don’t really know her religious background… it’s just not usually a subject that is brought up. But even when I was driving around with her doing errands, she brought it up. And our conversation focussed more on whether the school I taught at accepted students of all walks of life, or if they could only be of our religion. We talked about how students from all walks of life do come to my school, but we don’t bend our beliefs based on theirs because they are choosing to pay and come to our school for some reason. She was curious how I taught my Bible classes, and I told her that I do respect the feelings and beliefs of all of my students, but that I’m not going to tell them to be sheep. I don’t just want them to believe things because I tell them to, because at one point, we all question what we believe. I want them to know why they believe what they believe with evidence, straight out of the Bible in black and white. I also told her that if they end up asking me a question about something I don’t know, I don’t ignore it. I either search out the answer myself, or we study it together as a class.

For example, this year my students were not into studying the life of Christ, something they’ve more or less covered since attending church as infants, but they wanted to know about the end times, about the dragon of Revelation, about what to expect. So you know what I did? Tossed my plans, and we started studying Revelation together. It was the most rewarding decision I could have made. Yes, there is some scary stuff in that book, but my students came from that book knowing so much better what to expect, what is going on in our lives, and how God is fighting for them every step of the way, wanting to protect them from every evil that is here and will come. They knew that things might get difficult for them, but that they shouldn’t fear as long as they put God first because ultimately, God is victorious and he is holding them in His hands the whole time.

I mentioned this in another blog, but it still blows my mind that two of my students who do not attend a church and do not come from religious families wrote to me at the end of the study, one saying that he had listened more than he ever thought he would, taking notes more than he ever had before, and the other saying how he’s not baptized (with a sad face) but knowing that he can do anything through the power of Christ and knowing that he can have a personal relationship with God was such good news to him. I mean, how much more powerful does it get than that! The students had questions, and God provided me the opportunity to learn and study with them. What an awesome way to be used by God!

So anyways, I guess if I can sum this up I would say, don’t be impatient. God’s timing is so much better than ours could ever be. And don’t give up. I mean, 10 years was a long time to wait for my opportunity to talk with my dad, but it came from his curiosity and not me preaching at him – 10 years, and God answered my prayer. So know that God does answer prayers. It may not be in the time you want, it may not be quite the answer you want, but God is always listening, and He will answer you.

Supporting Your Husband – It’s Not Easy

Supporting you husband… this is not always an easy topic. Sure, when you’re getting along and all is right in the world, it is easy to do things for your husband – happiness just works that way. But what about the times he’s upset you? What about the times he seems so selfish and careless towards you or doesn’t take the time to appreciate anything you do? It’s not so easy then… That’s when bad thoughts start seeping in… “Don’t appreciate me doing your laundry? Do it yourself!” “Do you have to drink out of 10 glasses a day? Do you own dishes!” “Leave your stuff all over the house? I quit!” “This is the third year you’ve done nothing and ‘forgot’ our anniversary? Why are we even married?” Ok… so hopefully it doesn’t get to the point of the last one, but you get the point.

I can honestly say I’ve had my fair share of these kinds of thoughts, but I know it’s wrong and really fight against them. However, I’m human and still fall short of my respecting goals at times. So what do I do?

Well, lately I’ve been returning to the Bible. I cannot tell you how much I admire the women I’ve seen that honestly seem to respect their husbands no matter what. I mean, you can never really tell what goes on behind the scenes. But those women who clearly put their husbands first inspire me so much! So the Bible, the ultimate tale of love, is where I turn to. And you know what happens? I begin to realize how I need to act again.

My husband and I had a so-so night last night. Parts of it were good, but he’s struggling with a few things and handles it differently than I would. So of course, I want to set him straight, to tell him how to fix things and how to do it “my way”. Even now as I’m writing this, that’s starting to sink in… it’s my way. Wow… I’m trying to make him do things MY way. Me. It’s all about me. Ugh… sometimes reality really results in humility. He’s not me.. He shouldn’t have to do everything MY way. Ugh…

Anyways, after going out for supper, we came home, and he wanted to nap before going to the gym because he was exhausted. Of course, both him and I knew this meant he probably wouldn’t get up to go to the gym, but I didn’t make a deal about it because I’d rather him feel better than not. I was not as exhausted, and woke up at 1:30 a.m. I had the option to stay in bed and sleep, or realize that he doesn’t have any clean work shirts for tomorrow, and that would really start his day off badly if he did not have any clean work shirts to wear. He’s in the sales business and looking good is part of the job. So instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I quietly snuck out of the bedroom, careful not to wake him up, and came downstairs to do a couple loads of laundry. Now, he didn’t treat me like something great last night, and quite frankly, there are some nights I’m glad he goes to sleep so we can wake up and start a new day, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I still love this man and I married him for a reason.

I think too many of us forget that part. We get too caught up in the stresses of life and whether we want to admit it or not, neither our partners nor us are perfect. We just aren’t. We don’t always treat each other like we should. Jobs get in the way. Responsibilities get in the way. Bills and money issues hugely get in the way. And that’s even without raising children in the picture! But it doesn’t hurt to take a step back every once in a while and truly think about why you even married that person in the first place. Make a list of the things you have liked/still like about that person. Focus on the good, and not the bad.

My husband works long hours to try and support me. He took a risk changing careers which hasn’t wielded all the results he expected it to right away which is a lot of his stress lately. I know he deals with it badly because he wants to be the breadwinner, he wants to be able to get me anything in the world that I could want. I so admire him for that. And to be honest, I don’t just admire him for that, I know that he puts in more hours than anyone else he works with and I believe that he will get to the level he wants just because he tries so hard. He’s incredible that way. He also was brave enough to even take a risk, one that I don’t think I would have had the guts to do. He’s not afraid of bugs and handles them for me, but not like anything you’re probably thinking. My husband taught me a dear lesson in life, and that’s the fact that just because bugs are annoying, they still were given life as a gift too. My husband will NOT kill bugs unless he needs to. If it’s just a housefly in our house, he will catch it and release it outside. That goes for moths, larger bugs, etc… He humbled me. He is also extremely trusting. I know a lot of men who handle all of the household finances, and the wives essentially ask for permission to use certain monies and never get involved with the family’s finances. It’s the opposite for us. I’m a little OCD when it comes to money because I’ve had to support myself when there was little to support myself on. Literally, a $1 bag of Crispers from the discount store would be a meal because that’s all I could afford. So when it comes to debt and bills, I need to know what’s going on and need to see progress being made. My husband trusted me enough to hand over that responsibility. It took stress off of him when we became a united household, and I get my ability to do what I need to do. I mean, seriously, how many men would do that? Even writing these few things renews the appreciation and love in my heart for my husband. He may have some habits I don’t like, but that’s not what matters. What matters is we are here in life and love to handle the situations life throws at us together. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So ladies, and husbands if you’re reading this, stop complaining, stop griping, stop being so negative towards each other. Understand that you do not have to agree on everything. You can agree to disagree and be happy. Just sit back and remember why you fell in love in the first place, and never stop putting each other first.

Mark 10:9 – “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Proverbs 21:19 – “It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman.”

Colossians 3:18 – “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Proverbs 14:1 – “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

Ephesians 5:33 – “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Titus 2:5 – “to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

And of course, read Proverbs 31 for the great description of a woman in Christ.

I hope this helps you all! If you have any marriage advice, I would love to hear it below. ❤

Why the Name “Christian” Can Cause Such Anger

I’ve delayed in writing this blog post. The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. Not because I’m cleaning up my classroom, preparing for a new grade, but because the world has changed ever so quickly, and I needed to make sure my own emotions were not mixing and leading my thoughts but that rather my beliefs were the driving force behind my words.

When I decided I wanted to turn vegan, I thought what better place to learn than to join vegan groups on Facebook where people are continuously discussing ways of doing things better and on improving lifestyles. What better place would you get a mix of people who are starting out in their vegan adventure, as well as though who are tried and true veterans to the lifestyle. I did enjoy these facts, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, I don’t know how you could have missed it), but the states have just legalized same sex marriage. To some people it’s no surprise, to some people it’s a reason to lash out, and to some people it’s a reason to celebrate. I was prepared for those reactions. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anger backing people’s responses. And it took a few days for me to truly understand what was going on.

Unfortunately, one of my vegan groups posted about this legalization and stated that you will never find a “homophobe vegan”. A man simply stated (though not in words I would have used) that he was not a “phobe” by the meaning of the word “phobia” as in being scared. He simply was using Biblical pieces to back-up the point that he did not support the movement. The backlash he received was incredible. And as I noticed he was the only one defending his beliefs, I decided to try and approach the conversation in a loving but understanding way. You see, I’ve noticed people are very quick to criticize Christian beliefs as being old and not modern day. But I knew that this is often because Christians have made a bad name for themselves.

I once saw a conversation where Christians were attacking an atheist. I could see where her comments and attacks were coming from. I couldn’t stand Christians reacting in this kind of way so I entered the conversation as well and simply responded to her questions and comments in a loving, non-judgemental way. It took quite awhile, but believe it or not, she thanked me for talking to her the way I did and explaining things the way I had. Of course she assured me she wouldn’t become Christian anytime soon, but that wasn’t the point of my discussion. The basis of my discussion was love.

So I figured that maybe if love was presented the right way in this vegan conversation, then maybe the hatred I was seeing would dissipate and the group could go back to the original purpose of becoming vegan and standing for animal rights. However, I’m sad to say it did not work that way. No matter how many times I reassured that none of the Christians in the conversation weren’t hating them nor judging them (all 2 of us), they served critique after critique back. No matter how many times I assured them that Christians should be focused on loving and loving all people, hate was served back. No matter how much love I tried to show about loving people but not supporting decisions they make, I was not supported. I even told them that the God of the world, Himself, has given us the power to choose what we do, regardless if we choose sin or not, and thus everyone in the world should have the power to choose what they want without anybody telling them otherwise, I was still considered judgemental. I brought up how I have a great uncle who has been a married gay my whole life and how I love him dearly and will never treat him otherwise, but that I do not support his lifestyle, I was still considered a “homophobe”. I was called a jerk, ingenious, told to take a nap, told I have mental sickness, that somehow someone loved me but in the same sentence told me everything I am is a sin, that God was going to send me to hell to burn for eternity, etc. And I was reminded again and again how listening to a 2000 year old book is so wrong.

I was not prepared for the hardness of hearts I was presented with. This is why I did not write this blog when I first thought of it. In fact, it’s been sitting as a tab for the past however many days since the law was passed. I’ve changed the name 3 times. I needed time to sort through what was going on, and to make sure my emotions were in check. And now I think I’m ready to help explain where I think things have gone wrong.

There happens to be a girl many years younger than I who was feeling the same way I was – being attacked by so many people, being pushed with no rest, exhausted from having to defend herself. The message came clearly in her Facebook post and the response from someone questioning the selection of beliefs, specifically pertaining to the lack of support on the same sex marriage issue.

I really thought about it before I posted this time, and I provided a very prominent issue among different Christians about the “clean” and “unclean” foods. I stated it as the fact that many Christians don’t support eating pork. Some claim that because it is an Old Testament law, that we no longer have to follow that distinction. Although many Christians disagree on this issue, we don’t hate our own family members just because they eat differently than ourselves. The best way to influence anyone in a positive way is through a loving manner. I also added that I grew up as a hunter’s daughter. When I turned vegetarian, my grandfather was convinced I would die. In fact, for the almost 10 years I was vegetarian, the very first question he would ask me is if I was healthy and had gone back to eating meat yet. The amount he would try to sneak meat onto my plate was crazy. He did not support my eating habits whatsoever. But he never stopped loving me. In fact, I can’t recall a day in my life where I did not feel loved by my grandfather, and that’s the way it should be.

To go a little further than that, she said she was going to put it bluntly and ask how same sex relationships is one law we believe from the Old Testament, but there were a host of others such as wearing jewelry, having tattoos, and premarital sex were things most Christians don’t follow anymore, yet we can choose to not stand for the same sex marriage issue.

This is where it truly sank in. The reason I believe that most people are so angry with Christians and our beliefs is because we have compromised on so much! Seriously, look around at your churches. I know for a fact that people drink, do drugs, party, have non-marrital sex with people regardless of being married or not, have problems with pornography, steal, cheat people out of money, etc, etc… There are people in almost every church who are the kings and queens of gossip. Churches are seen as judgemental because they’ve become that way. What have we done to ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying that all churches or even all people are this way. I do believe we have the sweetest, loving Christians still on this earth, and unfortunately that’s something we desperately need more of. But when Christians in themselves are out in the world claiming to be Christian and yet are caught in such horrible acts, what else is the world to think of us? Can you really blame people for hosting anger when they grew up in a church but like my sister, left because people were judging the clothing she wore? Do you really think that made her feel at home rather than winning her over with love? Personally, I’m ashamed at some of the things we’ve done to people. We should be opening our doors and welcoming, not just greeting, but truly welcoming people into our midst with the goal of letting love take over. When Jesus saved the prostitute, or sat with the tax collectors, you don’t see Him attacking them. He loved them and that’s what created the difference. Why can’t we do the same?

Of course I’m not saying we should kick out all of the people who are having problems either. What better place to receive help with healing than a church family, as long as we are being just that – a loving and supportive family.

Now, I know my beliefs may differ from yours, and that’s ok. Like I said, I have no judgement. The Bible, unfortunately, is not the most easily understood book at times, and some is left to our interpretation though hopefully somewhat unfolded with divine help (always pray before reading the Bible!). So yes, topics like jewelry and tattoos are a little more difficult to defend for some. However, I know the Bible clearly points out that our bodies are the living temples for the Holy Spirit, and we are to take care of them to the best of our abilities. Putting needles unnecessarily into my body, causing a stain that God did not put there in the first place that is ridiculous to remove, and putting holes all over my body does not seem like preserving the “holy temple” as God stated it. To me, that is clear enough definition as to why those are not the best idea. Jewelry that does not require holes (such as necklaces, rings, and bracelets) are a little more in the grey area. However, if you look at history, you will see that only the rich, and those who placed themselves above others wore jewelry. So at the time, it made total sense that jewelry was a way to separate the classes of people, and as far as I’ve read in my Bible, God doesn’t view us that way, nor does He want us to develop an attitude of being better than others. So to me, that makes sense. When it comes to premarital sex, it’s a no-brainer to me. You don’t need a Bible to tell you it’s not the best idea. Look up science reports and the reactions in the brain with sex. Look up psychology reports. The more sex you have before marriage, the less you are bringing to your marriage. Imagine if everything was brand new coming into your marriage. No past relationships to discuss, no past comparisons to make, nothing bad to bring into your forever relationship. I think in a way, we’ve lost sight of how sacred and special marriage was supposed to be. It was a union, a joining of two people. And in Mark 10:9, it states clearly, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” We say vows, vows that are actually supposed to mean something. God blessed the union between husband and wife and specifically said that NO MAN (that means nobody on this earth) should be able to separate that union. I don’t know about you, but there are an awful lot of divorces going on. A lot of “man” separating what God told us not to. And that’s in the New Testament, not even the old.

Again, I hope you are not taking offence to this. I am the product of a divorced family who married other divorced people. Divorce is around me, and although I love my family more dearly than anything, I will fight with all I have to preserve my marriage union because I believe that is what is right. (I may continue this conversation at another time. It’s a whole separate Bible study.)

So those are my thoughts. I’m not sure if Christians will ever recover. If we’re going to stand for our beliefs, we need to learn not to compromise. No, it’s not easy being criticized. If anything, becoming vegan has opened my eyes to a whole new way of being criticized (not enough protein, not losing weight fast enough, not going to be healthy, etc…). But if you truly believe in something and seek to receive the rewards at the end, then you need to stand for whatever it is. But remember to stand in a loving way. Hate is fuel to the fire, but love (usually) softens the hardest of hearts. So speak to and treat each other in love, regardless of what a person chooses, but stay strong to yourself and don’t compromise on the beliefs you hold. Nobody in this world has the right to force their beliefs on people. But rather, keep an open ear and seek to find the Truth, and once you have the Truth, hold on to it. As humans, we are master justifiers, master liars, and master convincers. Don’t let someone talk you out of being yourself and believing what you’ve sought to be true.

For another pastor’s perspective, I found this to be a good, well-written, loving read with Biblical back-up.
http://todaychristian.net/a-detailed-explanation-of-why-christians-dont-accept-gay-marriage/

Week 7 Day 4

You would think that I’d be more rested today, but that wasn’t the case. I’m so tired and worn out. I’m not getting the rest and the sleep that I need. My body is not recovering.

Somehow I made it out of bed and got to work barely on time. It was another odd day as we had another presenter come for our grades 5-8 assembly. He spoke about his career in acting, his involvement in the music industry, and the things he’d learned about the devil’s involvement and God’s leading. It was an incredible, immaculate presentation which of course left the students with a million questions, and yet again, we had another day where I feel like very little curriculum was actually taught. But when it comes to important questions, I am always game.

This afternoon was bad though. I hit a low. I was tired. I just wanted to put my head down on my desk and sleep. Thankfully, today was my recess duties and the air outside helped me to wake up some.

Today’s workout was mainly three circuits based on back and biceps with a few extra thrown in there. But I noticed that I really struggled with one particular exercise tonight: Box Jumps.

I’m not a jumper. Never have been. I was on the starting line-up the one year I played basketball because I was tall, not because I would jump. They would make me spend so much time jumping against the brick wall, trying to get me to jump higher and higher. But I’m not a jumper. There is no spring in my jump. That being said, I was scared of box jumps for the longest time. I envisioned falling and crashing my knees into the box. And so when our coach started using box jumps, I was hesitant. Instead of going directly to a “box”, I began with the step-up steps so that I could start very small and add levels as I went.

My first set tonight had 4 levels up and I was fine. My second set had 5 levels up and I was fine. But when I got to that 6th level, I freaked. Normally, to beat my mind, I stand on the top and jump down first so that my body realizes the distance between the top and the floor. But even though I could do this many times in a row, my body at some points refused to complete the jump. I found myself several times with my right foot on the top of the jump, and my left foot landing on the floor. My own brain was ceasing my body’s progress!

I can’t deny it was a struggle. It wasn’t that I was incapable, but simply that my brain was telling me that I couldn’t. But I knew better. It may have taken me twice to three times as long as any other set, but I got it done. I beat my brain. I was capable and I showed myself that.

My bed was very welcoming tonight and after both the mental and physical battles in the gym, I was ever so ready to go to sleep.

Week 5 Day 3

What a way to wake up this morning – sore as could be! My quads hurt. My glutes hurt. My back muscles were tight. Oh boy! But I knew it was for a good reason, and for that I smiled.

Today was the kind of day where I thought everything was going superb, but it ended up being not quite what I thought. I felt so good doing laundry, taking care of the animals, got some grading done, as well as some computer work. While I’m in the full work mode, I began to notice the time go a little quicker. In fact, it went way too quick and I all of a sudden was in a rush to get ready for work. In fact, it was so much of a rush, I didn’t realize until 2 minutes before I had to leave that today was picture retakes day. Oh no… I was supposed to get retakes done today. So I did the best I could in two minutes (mainly changed my top and tried to fix my hair) and ran out the door.

The rest of the day went pretty good, minus a student doing something utterly ridiculous. But honestly today was a good teaching day. I was quite satisfied with it.

After work, I had a dentist consultation. I had been moulded for Invisalign, and this was my consultation to see how long it would take, how much it would cost, etc. I think it’s almost always safe to say that it’s going to be more than what I would like to pay, but they are honestly treating me so well, charging me for the minimum and taking some discounts out. I’m going ahead with it. It’ll start in November and will take 10 months. Have you ever seen the technology they have to figure these things out? It’s incredible! I got to watch my teeth’s movements and progress ahead of time for the whole ten months! Check it out sometime. It’s amazing.

After that, I came home. I spent some time talking with my husband until he was too hungry to talk. He needed food and decided to go out.

Now here’s a tip if you want to go with a person but you don’t want to get off track. Look up the nutrition for the menu before you go AND eat something! I grabbed a banana knowing I’d need to eat one later so might as well fill myself some with it now.

At the restaurant I had a side garden salad with a chicken breast. I also had already assessed my macros and found I had just enough room for a tiny sundae! Oh how that made me happy. This was definitely my treat for the week and it fit right in my macros!

Following the restaurant, we came home and got ready for the gym. I was so sore that I debated whether I should actually go or not, but decided since I had already eaten my banana (a workout food, not eaten on non-workout days) then I needed to go. So I did 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the recumbent bike and rolled a lot afterwards.

Now for the exciting part, pictures of my meals for the day!

Meal 1

Chicken and egg burrito. Absolutely delicious!

Meal 2

Never had one of these before! So good!

A sneak peak of what they look like. So much different than normal!

Meal 3

Super filling! Rice/quinoa dish with broccoli and chicken. I think I may have over microwaved the chicken… it got a little dry!

Meal 4

(Oops… I may have eaten this one too. I have to get better at this picture taking business! This meal was homemade hummus with rice crackers, celery and carrots.)

Meal 5

Greek and Chicken Chop Salad. Yum!

Just Enough: The Follow-Up

So today is a new day, but I thought I better fill you in. 

It turned out that by leaving the key in the ignition, although it was pulled out half way, still drained the battery enough that the car couldn’t start itself. We had a lot boy come with a portable battery that was nice enough to boost us. The car worked fine after that.

And so again, I emphasize realizing that what God gives us is just enough. We have just enough food for the day, often times plenty. We have just enough money to pay the bills. Everything He gives us is just enough.

I think of the Biblical story of the woman and the oil. She had barely any left and would soon go hungry if not hungry already. She was told (through the power of Christ) to gather all the jars from the neighbours and pour the oil into each of them.

Now, stop there.

Would we go gather buckets and jars from our neighbours if we had but a few teaspoons of oil left in our own jar? Would it even begin to make sense to pour this little bit of precious oil we had left into these larger containers only to likely waste what we had left?

But the key is she did it. Think about and ask yourself, “What would I do?”

So not only does she gather all of these jars and buckets, most likely with her neighbours wondering and teasing her about what she’s doing, but she goes ahead and takes a chance on the only remaining oil she has. 

And guess what!

The oil keeps flowing. 

The oil keeps flowing and flowing until every single jar and bucket she borrowed was filled with oil! How incredible! How incredible God is!

You see, He gives us just enough. When we’re on the break, when we think we’re out of time, when we don’t know what else in the world to do, God gives us enough; God is enough.

You know, sometimes I get so anxious when making a decision. Especially one that involves a large amount of money or huge life decisions. And sometimes that entails a deadline. And so quite often I pray and I pray and I pray for God to show me the right decision and sometimes that deadline gets closer and closer and it seems like I never get an answer.

Maybe you can relate to that.

But looking on those times, whatever decision was made, God gave me enough. Enough to get through the bad decisions I made, enough to celebrate that good ones. 

You see, sometimes we don’t mean to, but we are very good at being impatient with God and when He doesn’t answer us, we are very quick to answer our own problems. This attracts failure. But I do believe that sometimes God wants us to seek His wisdom and build up to some of our own decisions, being made in the best light of His love and His word as possible. But regardless of how a decision is made, whatever mistakes we find ourselves in, God will ALWAYS be enough and He will give us just enough to continue on.

I love that about my God, my Father, my LORD and my Saviour. Look for the moments when God gives just enough.