Why the Name “Christian” Can Cause Such Anger

I’ve delayed in writing this blog post. The past few days have been a whirlwind for me. Not because I’m cleaning up my classroom, preparing for a new grade, but because the world has changed ever so quickly, and I needed to make sure my own emotions were not mixing and leading my thoughts but that rather my beliefs were the driving force behind my words.

When I decided I wanted to turn vegan, I thought what better place to learn than to join vegan groups on Facebook where people are continuously discussing ways of doing things better and on improving lifestyles. What better place would you get a mix of people who are starting out in their vegan adventure, as well as though who are tried and true veterans to the lifestyle. I did enjoy these facts, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

As many of you know (and if you didn’t, I don’t know how you could have missed it), but the states have just legalized same sex marriage. To some people it’s no surprise, to some people it’s a reason to lash out, and to some people it’s a reason to celebrate. I was prepared for those reactions. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anger backing people’s responses. And it took a few days for me to truly understand what was going on.

Unfortunately, one of my vegan groups posted about this legalization and stated that you will never find a “homophobe vegan”. A man simply stated (though not in words I would have used) that he was not a “phobe” by the meaning of the word “phobia” as in being scared. He simply was using Biblical pieces to back-up the point that he did not support the movement. The backlash he received was incredible. And as I noticed he was the only one defending his beliefs, I decided to try and approach the conversation in a loving but understanding way. You see, I’ve noticed people are very quick to criticize Christian beliefs as being old and not modern day. But I knew that this is often because Christians have made a bad name for themselves.

I once saw a conversation where Christians were attacking an atheist. I could see where her comments and attacks were coming from. I couldn’t stand Christians reacting in this kind of way so I entered the conversation as well and simply responded to her questions and comments in a loving, non-judgemental way. It took quite awhile, but believe it or not, she thanked me for talking to her the way I did and explaining things the way I had. Of course she assured me she wouldn’t become Christian anytime soon, but that wasn’t the point of my discussion. The basis of my discussion was love.

So I figured that maybe if love was presented the right way in this vegan conversation, then maybe the hatred I was seeing would dissipate and the group could go back to the original purpose of becoming vegan and standing for animal rights. However, I’m sad to say it did not work that way. No matter how many times I reassured that none of the Christians in the conversation weren’t hating them nor judging them (all 2 of us), they served critique after critique back. No matter how many times I assured them that Christians should be focused on loving and loving all people, hate was served back. No matter how much love I tried to show about loving people but not supporting decisions they make, I was not supported. I even told them that the God of the world, Himself, has given us the power to choose what we do, regardless if we choose sin or not, and thus everyone in the world should have the power to choose what they want without anybody telling them otherwise, I was still considered judgemental. I brought up how I have a great uncle who has been a married gay my whole life and how I love him dearly and will never treat him otherwise, but that I do not support his lifestyle, I was still considered a “homophobe”. I was called a jerk, ingenious, told to take a nap, told I have mental sickness, that somehow someone loved me but in the same sentence told me everything I am is a sin, that God was going to send me to hell to burn for eternity, etc. And I was reminded again and again how listening to a 2000 year old book is so wrong.

I was not prepared for the hardness of hearts I was presented with. This is why I did not write this blog when I first thought of it. In fact, it’s been sitting as a tab for the past however many days since the law was passed. I’ve changed the name 3 times. I needed time to sort through what was going on, and to make sure my emotions were in check. And now I think I’m ready to help explain where I think things have gone wrong.

There happens to be a girl many years younger than I who was feeling the same way I was – being attacked by so many people, being pushed with no rest, exhausted from having to defend herself. The message came clearly in her Facebook post and the response from someone questioning the selection of beliefs, specifically pertaining to the lack of support on the same sex marriage issue.

I really thought about it before I posted this time, and I provided a very prominent issue among different Christians about the “clean” and “unclean” foods. I stated it as the fact that many Christians don’t support eating pork. Some claim that because it is an Old Testament law, that we no longer have to follow that distinction. Although many Christians disagree on this issue, we don’t hate our own family members just because they eat differently than ourselves. The best way to influence anyone in a positive way is through a loving manner. I also added that I grew up as a hunter’s daughter. When I turned vegetarian, my grandfather was convinced I would die. In fact, for the almost 10 years I was vegetarian, the very first question he would ask me is if I was healthy and had gone back to eating meat yet. The amount he would try to sneak meat onto my plate was crazy. He did not support my eating habits whatsoever. But he never stopped loving me. In fact, I can’t recall a day in my life where I did not feel loved by my grandfather, and that’s the way it should be.

To go a little further than that, she said she was going to put it bluntly and ask how same sex relationships is one law we believe from the Old Testament, but there were a host of others such as wearing jewelry, having tattoos, and premarital sex were things most Christians don’t follow anymore, yet we can choose to not stand for the same sex marriage issue.

This is where it truly sank in. The reason I believe that most people are so angry with Christians and our beliefs is because we have compromised on so much! Seriously, look around at your churches. I know for a fact that people drink, do drugs, party, have non-marrital sex with people regardless of being married or not, have problems with pornography, steal, cheat people out of money, etc, etc… There are people in almost every church who are the kings and queens of gossip. Churches are seen as judgemental because they’ve become that way. What have we done to ourselves?

Now, I’m not saying that all churches or even all people are this way. I do believe we have the sweetest, loving Christians still on this earth, and unfortunately that’s something we desperately need more of. But when Christians in themselves are out in the world claiming to be Christian and yet are caught in such horrible acts, what else is the world to think of us? Can you really blame people for hosting anger when they grew up in a church but like my sister, left because people were judging the clothing she wore? Do you really think that made her feel at home rather than winning her over with love? Personally, I’m ashamed at some of the things we’ve done to people. We should be opening our doors and welcoming, not just greeting, but truly welcoming people into our midst with the goal of letting love take over. When Jesus saved the prostitute, or sat with the tax collectors, you don’t see Him attacking them. He loved them and that’s what created the difference. Why can’t we do the same?

Of course I’m not saying we should kick out all of the people who are having problems either. What better place to receive help with healing than a church family, as long as we are being just that – a loving and supportive family.

Now, I know my beliefs may differ from yours, and that’s ok. Like I said, I have no judgement. The Bible, unfortunately, is not the most easily understood book at times, and some is left to our interpretation though hopefully somewhat unfolded with divine help (always pray before reading the Bible!). So yes, topics like jewelry and tattoos are a little more difficult to defend for some. However, I know the Bible clearly points out that our bodies are the living temples for the Holy Spirit, and we are to take care of them to the best of our abilities. Putting needles unnecessarily into my body, causing a stain that God did not put there in the first place that is ridiculous to remove, and putting holes all over my body does not seem like preserving the “holy temple” as God stated it. To me, that is clear enough definition as to why those are not the best idea. Jewelry that does not require holes (such as necklaces, rings, and bracelets) are a little more in the grey area. However, if you look at history, you will see that only the rich, and those who placed themselves above others wore jewelry. So at the time, it made total sense that jewelry was a way to separate the classes of people, and as far as I’ve read in my Bible, God doesn’t view us that way, nor does He want us to develop an attitude of being better than others. So to me, that makes sense. When it comes to premarital sex, it’s a no-brainer to me. You don’t need a Bible to tell you it’s not the best idea. Look up science reports and the reactions in the brain with sex. Look up psychology reports. The more sex you have before marriage, the less you are bringing to your marriage. Imagine if everything was brand new coming into your marriage. No past relationships to discuss, no past comparisons to make, nothing bad to bring into your forever relationship. I think in a way, we’ve lost sight of how sacred and special marriage was supposed to be. It was a union, a joining of two people. And in Mark 10:9, it states clearly, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” We say vows, vows that are actually supposed to mean something. God blessed the union between husband and wife and specifically said that NO MAN (that means nobody on this earth) should be able to separate that union. I don’t know about you, but there are an awful lot of divorces going on. A lot of “man” separating what God told us not to. And that’s in the New Testament, not even the old.

Again, I hope you are not taking offence to this. I am the product of a divorced family who married other divorced people. Divorce is around me, and although I love my family more dearly than anything, I will fight with all I have to preserve my marriage union because I believe that is what is right. (I may continue this conversation at another time. It’s a whole separate Bible study.)

So those are my thoughts. I’m not sure if Christians will ever recover. If we’re going to stand for our beliefs, we need to learn not to compromise. No, it’s not easy being criticized. If anything, becoming vegan has opened my eyes to a whole new way of being criticized (not enough protein, not losing weight fast enough, not going to be healthy, etc…). But if you truly believe in something and seek to receive the rewards at the end, then you need to stand for whatever it is. But remember to stand in a loving way. Hate is fuel to the fire, but love (usually) softens the hardest of hearts. So speak to and treat each other in love, regardless of what a person chooses, but stay strong to yourself and don’t compromise on the beliefs you hold. Nobody in this world has the right to force their beliefs on people. But rather, keep an open ear and seek to find the Truth, and once you have the Truth, hold on to it. As humans, we are master justifiers, master liars, and master convincers. Don’t let someone talk you out of being yourself and believing what you’ve sought to be true.

For another pastor’s perspective, I found this to be a good, well-written, loving read with Biblical back-up.
http://todaychristian.net/a-detailed-explanation-of-why-christians-dont-accept-gay-marriage/

Week 6 Day 4

I finally got it last night on the treadmill. I finally thought up a few examples that really showed me things that were very difficult to forgive, but I have forgiven. As I reviewed my list, I realized these things hurt me more than they have ever made me angry. I narrowed my list to four things as I only wanted to summarize yesterday’s topic before presenting what I had prepared for today. My list consisted of the following: My father did not attend my high school nor my university graduations, my sister almost died due to the doctor’s mistake of putting latex elastics (of which she’s allergic to) in her mouth following jaw surgery causing her to near death, my friends burned down my family’s camp in a drunken stupor one Halloween night which contained years of memories that will never be replaced since my family was in the middle of renewing the insurance, and finally, the one that is still able to make me cry at any moment, is the fact that my grandfather died when an impatient driver went to pass a semi-truck and ran head into my grandparents’ vehicle coming in the opposite direction. Four extremely difficult situations I had to go through.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, these things cause me sadness, but I don’t hold grudges against the people who were guilty. And here is what I figured out:

1. My life philosophy: Hate what the person did, but don’t hate the person. The truth of the matter is, if sin did not exist, the person would not have done what they did. God did not design us to be this way, but we all sin because of the fall in the Garden of Eden. When Jesus returns, sin will no longer exist. Therefore, just as we reflect on ourselves being sinful, hate the sin but not the person.

2. Allowing someone to suffer what we choose to be consequences for what they’ve done is a method of passing judgement. We are not the ultimate judge. Yes, Earth has judges for major sins that are here so that hopefully less sin will be created, but who are we to gossip about those who have made mistakes against us? We cannot claim to be the judge that God is, and thus should not carry out such punishments.

3. I thought of the story in John 8 where the people brought forth the prostitute expecting Jesus to agree that she should be stoned. However, Jesus responded in a way they didn’t expect, and that was that whoever had not sinned should be the first to cast a stone. Yet, nobody could because everyone had sinned. In this same way, how are we to again, punish others in such a way yet expect forgiveness for when we do something?

4. In a way, Jesus became the person you are upset at. Jesus did not just die for one person’s sins, He died for ALL of humanity’s sins. Think about that. In order to truly die on the cross for us, He had to essentially become all the bad things that we are. He became the bad in all of us. And I thought if I were to see the face of Jesus in the person I’m upset at, would I really be able to stay upset? This is a hard one to think of…

With that being said, I quickly summarized and prayed that those ideas would stick for anyone having difficulties with forgiveness. I then proceeded to continue with my topic for today.

Today’s School Spirit Week day was Tacky Day. Quite frankly, I hate this day. I don’t find “fun” in dressing tacky. But I do it to support my students. So tacky it was. When trying to think of a topic associated with dressing tacky, it quite easily came to me that the topic should be on how life can get messy. And I had a great personal story about this that I was given permission to share, and that was on my step-sister, Natalie.

Natalie was a child with a free spirit that did not easily get along with my dad. Quite understandably, it is hard for a man to come into your life that in a way seems to be taking place of your dad. I can completely relate to that. But she was encouraged by her true father to move out early. She moved out with her boyfriend at the young age of 15. She then proceeded to get involved with drugs which eventually led to many (I believe up to 15) times of being in and out of rehab. Then, the fearful happened. She became pregnant.

During her pregnancy, she seemed to come clean. She moved back in with her mom and my dad, and although there were still some arguments between my dad and her, she seemed to be doing alright. Several months later, twin boys emerged. They were premature, but healthy. I sing my praises to God that those boys were and still are healthy. So many things could have happened. But as they were now born and she fed from a bottle, it was becoming noticeable that she drank.

One Christmas break, my sister and I were at our dad’s, and our step-mom noticed she was getting an alcoholic drink. And so, my step-mom locked up the alcohol in her bedroom. What came next, none of us were prepared for. She went ballistic. She was pounding on the door, screaming that it was unfair, that they should allow her to drink, and finally that she was going to get her babies and they were going to leave. This got so out of hand that it got to the point, the almost unbearable point for my step-mom, that the babies were in danger and the police needed to be called. Keep in mind, my poor dad is running three things at the same time: apologizing and trying to lighten the mood for my sister and I, trying to console and counsel my step-mom, and keeping my step-sister and her babies in the house while keeping unwanted people out.

When the police came, they gave her the option of going upstairs to say good-bye to her babies. She fought and fought them until they eventually and literally dragged her out of the house. If only I could share with you the nightmare. I have never heard someone scream and yell like I heard her scream and yell that night. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was being stabbed to death. The awful things she was yelling at her mother would definitely be carried for a long time. That’s when I really knew what addictions could do.

She was released the next day, and I expected that when she called, she would at least ask how her babies were. But do you want to know the ONLY question she asked? When her mom could come get her and take her to get her Methodone shot. No joke. I was in shock. To care about a drug replacement shot to help with her previous addictions over the care of her own children.

Later, she did move out into her own apartment with her children, but by that Friday, my dad and step-mom had the boys over for a sleep-over that they would never return from. She was not using her finances for the true care of her children but rather to feed her addictions, and so learned that she could live on her own again while visiting her children as they were kept at my dad’s.

As much as I’d like to say that she got the help she needed, I can’t. I can remember a conversation we had late one night where she was telling me that the worst thing for her was realizing that she had no dreams left. She used to want to be an actress, to be all of these big things in her life. But she realized that her addictions have drained all of these hopes, all of these goals and dreams out of her, and she had nothing left. Perhaps this was one of the most painful realizations for her. Because one night, in winter, I received a phone call from my dad. His voice was shaky, and he sounded as if he was ready to cry. As much as Natalie and him fought, she was still a huge part of his life as his step-daughter. And I believe this is what made it so difficult that the police had shown up on their doorstep the night before asking them to come and confirm the identification of the body they had found under a bridge. Upon investigation, they had come to believe that she had jumped off the bridge as there was only one set of footprints in the snow that led to the railing and thus leading to the body below. What a hard thing to accept. After years and years of drug abuse, of alcohol abuse, and of accepting that you have nothing left to live for in life, I can only imagine the pain she must have been in. She knew that rehab wouldn’t help because it hadn’t in the past. She couldn’t seem to escape the relationship abuses from men, the fact that she couldn’t find the help she needed nor the inability to escape the addictions that had control over her. This was nothing short of terrible.

Of course, the following fear came that child services would take the boys away. But my dad and step-mother fought for custody of the boys and thankfully were awarded it. And to this day, they are doing the best they can while parenting as grandparents. They boys are doing so well, I’m happy to report. But one day, and my father has talked to me about this, he knows the boys will ask where their mother is, and why they don’t have one like all of the other kids. And he fears that conversation. He fears revisiting and telling them that their father has never wanted anything to do with them and that their mother was so involved with such horrible things that she couldn’t take care of them and eventually couldn’t even take care of herself. What a hard conversation to have with children. I can’t even imagine.

I asked the other teachers and staff to think about the children we have difficulties with, to think of the things we don’t know about in their home lives, the burdens they carry to school each day. Because sometimes, it only takes one family member to make life messy for everyone else. And when especially dealing with children, those background messes need to be considered.

I had to rush through this worship a little as you can probably imagine as it got a little long. But I left people crying and with deep thoughts. Because the truth is, sometimes life sucks. Life can be unfair. The devil is at work so much in our lives, trying to tear us away from our Father who loves us, and unfortunately he uses things like drugs and alcohol that have a way of hooking us and can be very difficult to get away from. Things like drugs and alcohol have a way of consuming people and making the gift of life that God has given us seem pointless. And unfortunately, I see the devil in much of Natalie’s life, laughing and smiling at her misery. And yet in the same scene, I see tears running down Jesus’ face as He watches the destruction of His daughter, the one He loves more than anything. It’s a sad scene, not an easy one to grasp and still not the easiest one to talk about. But as my father said, it’s important to use these stories to help prevent others from making the same mistakes and if this story will help someone, then it is worth talking about.

I didn’t workout today as it was a rest day, but I do hope that you reflect on this, especially if you or someone you know is suffering with addictions. Addictions are something so incredibly unfortunate and cause so much pain to everyone. Take intervention now. Pray that the God of healing, the God that has already defeated all evil in this world will help you overcome. Because there is no power greater than God’s.

Sometimes Your World Gets Shaken

I’m sure many of you have seen on the news about the Moncton, NB man that was dressed in camo with military rifles. He’s killed 3 officers and wounded 2 others. This whole epidemic started early yesterday evening and has continued through the night and on through today. A manhunt like the East coast has not seen in a very long time (if ever).

Normally, I understand this happens in the news. I understand that I currently live in a city where crime is a regular thing. But I grew up in New Brunswick. I grew up in the tiny province where we went around without a care. Yes, there were little bad things, but nothing to this extent. So for me, this is huge.

What else makes it huge for me is that my family is still in NB. So naturally, I sat for quite awhile trying to think of anyone that I knew that might live in Moncton. Thankfully, I’m pretty sure all my family live elsewhere, but I do have a friend who is outside the lockdown area, and her husband and daughter are within it. Now that is a stress I cannot imagine.

But out of this whole situation, I’ve come to realize a few things.

#1: He’s not after everyday civilians. He’s after cops. He has a problem with the government, the gun law, the corrupt police. And unfortunately it’s being taken out on all police, without distinction. It seems to me tht cops have a certain place in his mind and all are branded as the evil ones, rather than the few who have shown corruption. This is a sad fact to face 😦

#2: This is what anger can do to you. He’s obviously been angry about these issues for quite awhile. The amount of angry posts that were posted before he went about were numerous and strong. He held in his anger for too long, and exploded in this way. This will not resolve ANYTHING.e#3: This whole situation has brought out the worst in people. From people telling him to kill other people, from people saying that he’s doing the right thing and making him out to be a hero, and from people giving death wishes to the people who support him, almost everyone has shown a dark side. I honestly couldn’t believe the things I was seeing and felt sickened by the whole thing.

#4: Human judgement is more than corrupt. He believes he is doing justice by killing these officers and making a statement. But is it not wrong to murder no matter who you are? Would you not want to attack the people that killed your family regardless of what they’ve done? Is it right to assume that every cop is corrupt when perhaps you’ve just killed some of the only ones who are just?

The world cannot and should not run like this. Can you imagine, if every time someone gets mad, they went around shooting everyone? The world would have no people left. Anger causes such horrible judgement, and for what gain? The gun law won’t be lessened. In fact, as many are predicting, it will be tightened. His cause has not been accomplished, other than publicity and a dead end to life. I wish the world would cease these incidents, but the sad fact of reality is that this is all part of the end times of which God speaks of in Revelation. But the promise I hold ever so tightly is that Jesus will return; He will come and take us home with Him in Heaven. A place where there will be no more tears, no pain and no suffering. A place where incidents like this will cease to exist. A place where love is the way in which life is constantly lived. A selflessness of service to each other instead of a selfishness of wanting our own ways, especially enough to kill others. I pray for this world and for the people in it. I pray for the people in Moncton that are still locked in their homes. And I pray for the RCMP that are trying to find him, for their rest, their endurance, and their skill that they will find him and end this soon.

Until then, my heart and prayers go out to those who are in Moncton. Stay safe and know that prayers are being sent for your safety and especially for the families of the fallen soldiers. This war needs to end soon.

I Remain Humbled…

So, here’s a little story of what happened last week, not once but unfortunately twice, that has taught me a monumental lesson.

At Outdoor School with my students (school in the wilderness for 4 days), I was chosen to instruct a class called River Rush. River Rush teaches the students about finding an average, volume, and depth. The goal is to learn these things well, then to go to the river and calculate the amount of water flowing down the river every second. It’s actually a pretty easy class to teach, except it decided to rain everyday this year. But our last day was the worst. An absolute downpour. So of course, we had arranged for a bus to come sit by the river so that it was warm for the kids to get in and warm up. No chances of hypothermia were going happen if we could help it!

So anyways, this camp is designed for grades 5-6. We have our regular school kids, but then we also invite homeschool kids as well. These kids come with their parents since they technically have no teacher. And one of these homeschool kids came down the bank in a pink poncho with La Vie en Rose on it. For those of you who don’t know, that’s the name of a lingerie store, and this was a boy. I couldn’t believe that a mother would send her son down in that. He was already a homeschool kid, and to put that on top? My immediate thoughts went to him getting bullied. I felt so bad for this kid.

I made a point to reach out to him, got to know his name, and figured I’d keep an eye out for him just incase. But what happened set me back in my place. This kid not only seemed not to care what he was wearing, but 3 times that day we almost lost our rubber duckies down the river. And 3 times this kid suddenly appeared down river to catch all 3. No other kid even attempted that. This was one hardy kid who received several applauses for not only his courage but his pure skill. I don’t even think I could have gotten down the river that fast. Needless to say, I was reminded of my puny knowledge and judgement in a God-created world.

Second instance happened that same day, the night I got back. It’s almost as if God thought I needed more than just the one reminder I had gotten, and I took it.

My husband and I had been out late taking our one dog to the airport for my step dad. So on our way back, we went to Denny’s for something to eat. Directly behind us sat a woman and a man probably in their later 20s. She was obviously drunk (he was not) and she was saying some of the strangest things: “Oh foooooood! You know sometimes food makes me happier than sex!” for example. “I’m not being loud am I? No I don’t think so!” Yes, she was. But that’s beside the point.

I couldn’t help but think of how loud and obnoxious she was being, and how much quieter of a time my husband and I could have to eat. I grew up with drinkers, but myself don’t drink. I was used to the behaviour, but did not understand how people could enjoy making themselves look ridiculous like that. But then I got put in my place again.

After awhile, she began to speak her heart. She was continuously asking the man if he was mad at her to which of course he said he wasn’t. These two were obviously not in a relationship, but he was simply someone she knew and could lean on in a time of need. She said how she had been drinking since Sunday (it was Wednesday), and that she was meant to love. That some “idiot” had told her she wasn’t (or wouldn’t?) ever have children. That she was meant to have children and to love them with all the love she could.

Talk about eating my thoughts. I had judged this poor woman to be another obnoxious drinker with the things she had been saying before, and yet out comes the pain that is on her heart, and it all of a sudden makes sense to me. I wanted to turn around and tell her God loves her and He knows that she is meant to love, but the situation was just not right for that. The man was trying to get her to hurry with her eating and contain her the best he could. I do give him kudos for the nice and yet firm way he was handling her. It’s necessary when you’re that drunk. But at the same time, I wish she could have felt as loved as she sounded like she needed to feel.

My husband told me later that at one point, when I had gotten up to use the washroom, she did speak of God to the man. She did believe in Him and that gave me some assurance. God can find a way into her heart and hopefully He’ll show her a better way. I hope to see this woman in Heaven, and I pray that she experiences the love she seeks.

Until then, I learned a double lesson that I needed. I am not a judge, and the only true judge is God. I cannot take His place for my judgement’s are wrong. I always considered myself to be slow to judge others, but twice in one day I was proved wrong. I am quick to defend some people, and yet I create my own thoughts about some people too, sometimes without noticing. That’s something I need to work on, and maybe you do too. I’ve always admired the quote, “Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked in their shoes” and yet was I really applying it 100%? Obviously not.

Don’t judge others.

Matthew 7:1-5 speaks loud and clear when it comes to this topic:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Ouch. I’m human, and I make mistakes, but nothing will stop me from trying to overcome my judgemental side. I expect people to have no idea of the past from which I come, and yet here I am judging others without knowing theirs. I remain humbled as I’ve learned from a God who loves us all so much that nobody can do what He does, and nobody knows what He knows. I place my trust and renew my faith within Him because I know that He will make no mistakes, and His judgements are just. I continue to look forward to the day of His return so that I can be by His side and learn from His ways to live the joy of life that was originally created to be. A life free of my mortal judgements.

Sometimes, You Just Don’t Know…

One of the most important lessons I learned growing up was never to judge a person from what you see. The old adage, “Never judge a book by its cover” was something I heard over and over again. I always believed that once you had an interaction with someone, you had a basis to judge something about them. Everyone older than me insisted I was wrong. They were right.

I cannot tell you how easily it is to fall into the judgement phase. Someone cuts you off in traffic, someone sits for an extra 30 seconds when the light just turned green, someone brushed off your conversation quickly, and many more that you can probably think of. It’s so easy for us to come to conclusions about others. Think about the people that seem to have it all. Do they really have it all? Was it always easy for them to get what they have? Are they really happy or do they long for something just like we do?

So many questions. So many thoughts. So many quick judgements without knowing the whole story.

Another phrase that comes to mind is, “Don’t judge others until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”. How true this is!

Aside from documentaries of people pretending to be homeless, and yet go home to mansions with the money they’ve collected for the day, sometimes we may never know the other side of someone. We cannot afford the time, let alone the impossibility, of getting to know everyone. That lady that doesn’t seem to calm down her kids while in the grocery store line? How do you know that she’s had horrible day, the kids may even be acting out less than what she deals with at home, she could be a single mother who has found everything difficult on her own. That man that cut you off in traffic? How do you know his child isn’t being born? How do you know his child had a severe accident or a parent is suffering a heart attack? How do you really know?

Or what about the girl that smiles all the time? She must have it perfect… right? All the money she wants, the biggest house, the nicest clothes… How do you know what her home life is like? Or what about that rich boss you have? Isn’t the nicest, doesn’t talk a lot, kind of seems to shut everyone out and cares only about himself. How do you know he isn’t depressed? How do you know he isn’t having marriage problems, his child is sick and the doctors aren’t sure what to do?

There are so many things, I can’t even begin to make a dent in the list. But the point of all this is that we have no idea. So don’t be so quick to judge.

The Bible tells us so many things about being judgemental. Some of it is a very strong wake-up call. Here are some of those verses for you:

Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

Romans 2:1-3 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

And a good summary verse:

James 4:12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Honestly, who are we? Who am I? The only person who has the right to judge is the very ONE that is perfect. That’s not us. We cannot claim to be perfect, and unless we can claim to be perfect, we cannot have the right to judge. What an unsettling piece of knowledge: to know that the very words that come out of our mouths, our harsh judgemental words, will be the very words used against us in the only judgement that will matter in our lives. I’m not sure about you, but it makes me think. What have I done, what have I said, what have I assumed? Who have I hurt, who have I avoided, who have I placed in a certain “department” in my mind?

I challenge you to take an extra look at your thoughts towards others. Take a second look, take a second glance. Things may not be as they seem.

What do you see? (Poem created by me)

The girl who sits in her seat
Smiling, quiet
Do you see the tear she’s hiding?
The fighting she endures at home?
What do you see?

The man with the expensive car
Always taking vacations, wearing brand name clothes
Do you see his broken heart?
The wife he can’t seem to please?
What do you see?

The woman who can do it all
No task seems too big, no time too short
Do you see her sadness, the family she hardly sees?
Have you seen her aging from her stress of trying to please?
What do you see?

When you look at the boy who seems to laugh
The boy who has too much fun, getting into trouble
Do you see his loneliness, his yearning for friends?
Do you see the brokenness coming from home?
What do you see?

The man who sits on the side of the road,
Asking for money, says he has no home.
Do you see his job loss? His unpaid disability?
Do you see the effects from his loss of family?
What do you see?

A man upon the cross.
Bleeding and praying, he must have done something wrong.
Do you see his love for each and everyone?
His desire to die for the ones that He loves?

Tell me, what do you see?
When you look at me.
Do you see a sinner, someone who’s done wrong?
Or do you see me as happy, thriving in life?

Judgements will be made, opinions will surely come,
But to only one I owe my life, and that is the ONE.
The ONE that people accused, the ONE that calls me home
I know what He sees, He sees His chosen ones.