Week 12 Day 6

This morning, I was on fire! I think that rest day was exactly what I needed.

I got up, got ready, took care of the animals and made it out the door, to both banks and the post office before arriving on time for my chiropractor and acupuncture appointments. The engine light is still on in my car, but the car runs, so I’m going with it! It was nice to get things accomplished and it was nice to be able to get to my appointments.

After my appointments, I went to the gym for some good cardio. I then went home, got my dogs ready, loaded them up, and took them to the vet. It was the day to get rabies shots, and the dogs all passed their exams with flying colours. I was very proud of them!

After we got home, my husband came home shortly after and was able to come with back to the vet (forgot the food and treats I had purchased) and to my oil change appointment on time. Seriously, I was on fire today!

We basically went home, ate, and got ready for the gym. I had an awesome, gruelling shoulder workout today, and was able to get in another cardio session when I was done with the weights. The challenge ends soon and I want to make sure I get all of the workouts and cardio sessions in!

Week 8 Day 7

Today was a rest day in many ways. I slept more, I relaxed a little. And then I had to work on grading, EPPs, and report cards! I’m behind, so the grading pile is massive. But I managed to get through all 17 EPPs and a bunch of grading, so I at least feel like I’ve progressed!

Not much really happened today, other than we woke up to snow. It’s the first snowfall of the season! As much as I know I’ll get tired and sick of it eventually, this first snowfall is kind of refreshing! I’m not sure how that works, but it does. I’m coming to the realization that even though it’s 12-15 degrees Celsius colder with the snow, I actually feel warmer than before the snow was here. I’m predicting the reason for this being that when it looks nice outside, my mind believes that it should be nice. So when the temperature is cold, my body freezes. But when there is snow on the ground, my body expects it to be cold, and therefore my body has adjusted to what it has seen and it doesn’t feel as cold.

Anyone else feel like this or is this just me?

Week 6 Day 4

I finally got it last night on the treadmill. I finally thought up a few examples that really showed me things that were very difficult to forgive, but I have forgiven. As I reviewed my list, I realized these things hurt me more than they have ever made me angry. I narrowed my list to four things as I only wanted to summarize yesterday’s topic before presenting what I had prepared for today. My list consisted of the following: My father did not attend my high school nor my university graduations, my sister almost died due to the doctor’s mistake of putting latex elastics (of which she’s allergic to) in her mouth following jaw surgery causing her to near death, my friends burned down my family’s camp in a drunken stupor one Halloween night which contained years of memories that will never be replaced since my family was in the middle of renewing the insurance, and finally, the one that is still able to make me cry at any moment, is the fact that my grandfather died when an impatient driver went to pass a semi-truck and ran head into my grandparents’ vehicle coming in the opposite direction. Four extremely difficult situations I had to go through.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, these things cause me sadness, but I don’t hold grudges against the people who were guilty. And here is what I figured out:

1. My life philosophy: Hate what the person did, but don’t hate the person. The truth of the matter is, if sin did not exist, the person would not have done what they did. God did not design us to be this way, but we all sin because of the fall in the Garden of Eden. When Jesus returns, sin will no longer exist. Therefore, just as we reflect on ourselves being sinful, hate the sin but not the person.

2. Allowing someone to suffer what we choose to be consequences for what they’ve done is a method of passing judgement. We are not the ultimate judge. Yes, Earth has judges for major sins that are here so that hopefully less sin will be created, but who are we to gossip about those who have made mistakes against us? We cannot claim to be the judge that God is, and thus should not carry out such punishments.

3. I thought of the story in John 8 where the people brought forth the prostitute expecting Jesus to agree that she should be stoned. However, Jesus responded in a way they didn’t expect, and that was that whoever had not sinned should be the first to cast a stone. Yet, nobody could because everyone had sinned. In this same way, how are we to again, punish others in such a way yet expect forgiveness for when we do something?

4. In a way, Jesus became the person you are upset at. Jesus did not just die for one person’s sins, He died for ALL of humanity’s sins. Think about that. In order to truly die on the cross for us, He had to essentially become all the bad things that we are. He became the bad in all of us. And I thought if I were to see the face of Jesus in the person I’m upset at, would I really be able to stay upset? This is a hard one to think of…

With that being said, I quickly summarized and prayed that those ideas would stick for anyone having difficulties with forgiveness. I then proceeded to continue with my topic for today.

Today’s School Spirit Week day was Tacky Day. Quite frankly, I hate this day. I don’t find “fun” in dressing tacky. But I do it to support my students. So tacky it was. When trying to think of a topic associated with dressing tacky, it quite easily came to me that the topic should be on how life can get messy. And I had a great personal story about this that I was given permission to share, and that was on my step-sister, Natalie.

Natalie was a child with a free spirit that did not easily get along with my dad. Quite understandably, it is hard for a man to come into your life that in a way seems to be taking place of your dad. I can completely relate to that. But she was encouraged by her true father to move out early. She moved out with her boyfriend at the young age of 15. She then proceeded to get involved with drugs which eventually led to many (I believe up to 15) times of being in and out of rehab. Then, the fearful happened. She became pregnant.

During her pregnancy, she seemed to come clean. She moved back in with her mom and my dad, and although there were still some arguments between my dad and her, she seemed to be doing alright. Several months later, twin boys emerged. They were premature, but healthy. I sing my praises to God that those boys were and still are healthy. So many things could have happened. But as they were now born and she fed from a bottle, it was becoming noticeable that she drank.

One Christmas break, my sister and I were at our dad’s, and our step-mom noticed she was getting an alcoholic drink. And so, my step-mom locked up the alcohol in her bedroom. What came next, none of us were prepared for. She went ballistic. She was pounding on the door, screaming that it was unfair, that they should allow her to drink, and finally that she was going to get her babies and they were going to leave. This got so out of hand that it got to the point, the almost unbearable point for my step-mom, that the babies were in danger and the police needed to be called. Keep in mind, my poor dad is running three things at the same time: apologizing and trying to lighten the mood for my sister and I, trying to console and counsel my step-mom, and keeping my step-sister and her babies in the house while keeping unwanted people out.

When the police came, they gave her the option of going upstairs to say good-bye to her babies. She fought and fought them until they eventually and literally dragged her out of the house. If only I could share with you the nightmare. I have never heard someone scream and yell like I heard her scream and yell that night. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was being stabbed to death. The awful things she was yelling at her mother would definitely be carried for a long time. That’s when I really knew what addictions could do.

She was released the next day, and I expected that when she called, she would at least ask how her babies were. But do you want to know the ONLY question she asked? When her mom could come get her and take her to get her Methodone shot. No joke. I was in shock. To care about a drug replacement shot to help with her previous addictions over the care of her own children.

Later, she did move out into her own apartment with her children, but by that Friday, my dad and step-mom had the boys over for a sleep-over that they would never return from. She was not using her finances for the true care of her children but rather to feed her addictions, and so learned that she could live on her own again while visiting her children as they were kept at my dad’s.

As much as I’d like to say that she got the help she needed, I can’t. I can remember a conversation we had late one night where she was telling me that the worst thing for her was realizing that she had no dreams left. She used to want to be an actress, to be all of these big things in her life. But she realized that her addictions have drained all of these hopes, all of these goals and dreams out of her, and she had nothing left. Perhaps this was one of the most painful realizations for her. Because one night, in winter, I received a phone call from my dad. His voice was shaky, and he sounded as if he was ready to cry. As much as Natalie and him fought, she was still a huge part of his life as his step-daughter. And I believe this is what made it so difficult that the police had shown up on their doorstep the night before asking them to come and confirm the identification of the body they had found under a bridge. Upon investigation, they had come to believe that she had jumped off the bridge as there was only one set of footprints in the snow that led to the railing and thus leading to the body below. What a hard thing to accept. After years and years of drug abuse, of alcohol abuse, and of accepting that you have nothing left to live for in life, I can only imagine the pain she must have been in. She knew that rehab wouldn’t help because it hadn’t in the past. She couldn’t seem to escape the relationship abuses from men, the fact that she couldn’t find the help she needed nor the inability to escape the addictions that had control over her. This was nothing short of terrible.

Of course, the following fear came that child services would take the boys away. But my dad and step-mother fought for custody of the boys and thankfully were awarded it. And to this day, they are doing the best they can while parenting as grandparents. They boys are doing so well, I’m happy to report. But one day, and my father has talked to me about this, he knows the boys will ask where their mother is, and why they don’t have one like all of the other kids. And he fears that conversation. He fears revisiting and telling them that their father has never wanted anything to do with them and that their mother was so involved with such horrible things that she couldn’t take care of them and eventually couldn’t even take care of herself. What a hard conversation to have with children. I can’t even imagine.

I asked the other teachers and staff to think about the children we have difficulties with, to think of the things we don’t know about in their home lives, the burdens they carry to school each day. Because sometimes, it only takes one family member to make life messy for everyone else. And when especially dealing with children, those background messes need to be considered.

I had to rush through this worship a little as you can probably imagine as it got a little long. But I left people crying and with deep thoughts. Because the truth is, sometimes life sucks. Life can be unfair. The devil is at work so much in our lives, trying to tear us away from our Father who loves us, and unfortunately he uses things like drugs and alcohol that have a way of hooking us and can be very difficult to get away from. Things like drugs and alcohol have a way of consuming people and making the gift of life that God has given us seem pointless. And unfortunately, I see the devil in much of Natalie’s life, laughing and smiling at her misery. And yet in the same scene, I see tears running down Jesus’ face as He watches the destruction of His daughter, the one He loves more than anything. It’s a sad scene, not an easy one to grasp and still not the easiest one to talk about. But as my father said, it’s important to use these stories to help prevent others from making the same mistakes and if this story will help someone, then it is worth talking about.

I didn’t workout today as it was a rest day, but I do hope that you reflect on this, especially if you or someone you know is suffering with addictions. Addictions are something so incredibly unfortunate and cause so much pain to everyone. Take intervention now. Pray that the God of healing, the God that has already defeated all evil in this world will help you overcome. Because there is no power greater than God’s.

Week 5 Day 7

Today, I’m not hungry again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Someday my appetite has to come back… I already went to bed without fulfilling all of my macros yesterday, I’m not going to do that today!

This was my rest day, but we had a morning full of drama with family issues. And yet, somehow, we still managed to get ready and make it to church on time. I’m really not sure how we pulled this off, but I was so happy we did. It was a great service about opening our spiritual eyes. Excellent sermon!

We then came home and basically did nothing for a few hours. We did take a nap, so that was nice.

Later, we decided to go out after sunset (when Sabbath ends). We got ready, made sure our animals were taken care of, and left. We stopped at Mac’s for my husband to get energy drinks (to get out of his sleepy slump), and I made a stop at Tim Horton’s for a quick pumpkin spiced ice coffee. I love pumpkin everything!

We then went to Bulk Barn where my husband picked up some candy and treats. Oh how I used to love picking stuff up at Bulk Barn too, but I fought the desire better knowing I had a snack in my purse that I had packed to fill me later. Planning ahead is a great idea!

We then went to Chapters. Oh how we both love books! We actually had to stop going to bookstores for awhile because we were spending way too much money on books. It was honestly like an addiction. Obviously it’s not a bad addiction other than it was taking our finances, so tonight was a real treat. We allowed ourselves to go through the entire store and pick a couple books. We probably won’t be back at the book store for at least another month or more so this was budgeted and allowed.

After some time at the bookstore, we sat in the car while I ate my snack (picture of it later). It really helped when we went to the theatre, and my husband got popcorn and chocolate for the movie. I wanted some of that stuff so badly. But I kept telling myself that one piece would break me so I needed to stand strong against even the smallest piece. And I did it! Yahoo!

When we came home, we basically had enough time to eat and go to bed. I wasn’t hungry, but the food was good and I managed to shove it in. So here was my food for the day:

Meal 1

I didn’t take a picture because we were in a rush to church. But this was the protein muffin I had several days ago, just chocolate flavoured instead of oatmeal. They are really good!

Meal 2

Tuna Salad Snack with celery, tomatoes and rice crackers.

Meal 3

Spaghetti Bolognese using lean ground beef.

Meal 4

Oatmeal Bake with Strawberries.

Meal 5

Cinnamon Cottage Cheese with finely chopped honeydew and cantaloupe. Took this with me and ate it before the movie.

Meal 6

(I normally don’t eat 6, but I had to make-up for the previous day and it all fit my macros.)

Sirloin Steak (I finished cooking to well done), potato mash and veggies. This was really delicious.

Week 5 Day 4

There is really not a whole lot to report to you today. I took the rest day that I needed. I had a great day at work, and to tell you the truth, I really can’t even tell you why it was good. There was nothing bad about today at all.

Tonight, my husband realized that we barely have any groceries. I haven’t even thought of groceries since I’ve had my food ready to go. But it was already fairly late in the evening by the time we both got home, talked about our days, and he had gotten ready to eat supper. So we decided groceries could be gotten tomorrow, and for tonight he’d get some food at Wendy’s.

Since my method seemed to work last time, I assessed my calories that I had left and researched the menu before we went. I had just enough calories for a grilled chicken wrap. And it turned out to be just enough to keep me satisfied while my husband had a burger, fries, and frosty. Oh that frosty looked good. There’s that sweet tooth coming out in me. But I held strong and was so much happier that I did. I didn’t need it.

After we got home, my husband started getting ready for the gym. I wanted to go but knew I had to stay home. I owed it to those sore legs to let them rest. So when he left, I busied myself with dishes, laundry, and finally taking a hot bath with bamboo oil. If you’ve never tried bamboo oil, you should. The stuff is amazing for sore muscles. I would say either comparable or even better than epsom salts. Unfortunately I don’t know where you would find it (maybe health food stores?) because I found it in a shop in my favourite place in the world: St. Andrew’s by the Sea. But seriously check it out!

So here is what I ate!

Meal 1

Granola/Yogurt/Berry parfait. Thought it was a little small, but honestly filled me and was so good!

Meal 2

So filling. Grapes, cheese, rice crackers, and apples.

Meal 3

Ancho Chicken Bowl. Rice, shredded chicken, blacks beans and a cilantro/corn mixture. This one packs some heat!

Meal 4

The most delicious egg white salad I’ve ever had! With tomatoes, celery and rice crackers. Yum!

Meal 5

The most amazing chicken salad spinach salad. No extra dressing required. Even has dried cranberries!

Week 4 Day 4

Talk about not wanting to get out of bed this morning… This week is not getting easier. I am so beyond tired. I’m exhausted, I’m fatigued both mentally and physically. Today is going to be one of my rest days.

Work went well as usual, I ate well (perhaps slightly too well today… in my macros but higher in carbs and lower in protein). This is not something I’m actually ok with, but I’d rather be in my macros than above them.

I was able to stay home and watch a couple shows with my husband, something that I rarely have time for anymore. I was able to catch up on some grading which my students were thankful for and consequently takes part of a load off my shoulders.

There really isn’t a whole lot to say about today other than just to point out how important rest is. Your body is not really a machine although it mimics one with the need to charge. Your body needs to rest in order to function properly. Coming to points such as burnout or complete exhaustion or clinical fatigue are points you can avoid if you are sure to take care of your rest. So please take that seriously. Work hard, yes. Make time for fun, yes. But rest is a requirement not only for you mentally, but for the well-being of your body physically.

Week 4 Day 3

Two words come to mind when describing today: exhaustion and stress. It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. My body aches, my mind needs more rest, I’m nothing short of totally exhausted.

The school day went fine, and I had to stay after work for another 2+ hours for a meeting about a tutoring program that we’re trying to start up at the school. This alone was not necessarily stressful, but extremely tiring when you’re already exhausted.

After the meeting was over, I didn’t even go home. Our dogs were out of food, our skinny pig would be out of food soon, and my husband needed some “sick foods” replenished. So I went to the mall. What should have been a half hour trip turned into an hour and twenty minutes or so.

First, there was a homeless (or maybe not so homeless) man standing outside the grocery store. He was asking people for food or change. Now, I’m all for providing people with food because I know it will go to good use. I’m usually a little more cautious with money in fear of feeding an alcohol or drug addiction. He didn’t specifically ask me, but I heard him asking others as they went by. As I’m sure God would have it, I went inside, kicked myself, and walked back out, asking if I could buy him a sandwich or something he liked. He looked so surprised and happy and told me his preference of cheese and mayo (simple) and that he would really enjoy some milk. I’m not sure about you, but it has been my experience that if someone has dropped to the level of begging for food, that person has passed the level of humiliation. It is not easy to be someone who is at the point of standing by the grocery store door begging for food. And so, with this in mind, I went in and found a loaf of bread, a package of cheese slices, a jar of mayo and a jug of milk. He didn’t mention any meat so I was unsure as to whether he even ate meat (knowing a lot of vegetarians myself). But I got the bulk items so that this man could not just have food once but several times. And I did not pick the cheapest items because I know the blessings the LORD has given me. What pride if I shared some of my gifts with someone in need. Am I rich? Far from it. In fact my husband and I are in the middle of trying to balance our budget and get rid of some of our debt. By many financial standards, we are just getting by. But by someone, like a homeless man’s standard, we are doing well. And so I wanted to give this man not just quantity but also quality and selected items that were a little better than others while still trying to think simplicity to ensure he liked what I gave. When it came to the milk selection, however, I went organic. Not necessarily for the health option, but also because it was the only milk that came in a jug instead of a carton, and not knowing how far he had to go, a jug seemed like the better carrying option.

Either way, the whole point of that whole tangent of a story is not simply to boast about something I did, but rather to encourage you to pass on some good will. I don’t know the man’s story. I don’t know if he was really homeless, but the fact is that I’m not supposed to be the judge, God is. And so I can only do what seems to be the right thing. If I was hungry enough to beg for food, I can only imagine how thankful I’d be for someone to share with me. It’s definitely something to consider the next time.

So after that little time block of a detour, I went back into the grocery store to find the things my husband needed. I had a list, so it wasn’t really that bad. What was bad were the line-ups. It was like several busses had come and dropped everyone off. Plus they had like 3 promotions going on at the same time so the transactions took twice as long.

Finally, I got the stuff to my car. By this time, I’m starving, I can tell my blood pressure is low, and I’m not feeling good at all. So I made a bad choice. I bought a small package of candy and a small chocolate bar. Was it quick carbs to elevate my sugar levels? Yes. But were there better things I could have chosen? Absolutely. This was a weak moment. I moment that caused me to over my macros for the day. A moment I would go back and change. It didn’t even taste as good as I thought. This was a food fail.

I went to the second store, finished buying the things I needed, but tried to carry everything without a cart (14 kg dog food bag, skinny pig food, bag of hay, dog bones). Needless to say, this did not work so well. I ended up leaving the stuff and getting a cart. Lines were long again, and eventually I made it to the car.

But this particular mall has a parking lot challenge. It seems to contain many impatient people. I almost got hit a few times. For example, as I was leaving and slowly backing out of my spot, a car flew behind me, barely squeezing between my car and the car parked behind me. There was no thought of waiting until I had finished pulling out. Those kinds of things.

When I finally got home, I was so happy. So exhausted, tired, and just worn out. It felt so nice to be home. I was going to make today a rest day, but my husband really wanted to go to the sauna. So while he sat in the sauna, I did 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the elliptical.

To be honest, I feel really bad about the food. I know better than that. But I guess this is a reminder, a lesson to remember. There are better choices and I made a bad one. But this is a reminder to prepare even for the worst situations. And should the event arise where things take longer than expected, I can make a better choice.

Off to bed and a better day tomorrow!

Week 2 Day 5

Today I eagerly looked forward to getting back in the gym. The rest day yesterday had been greatly appreciated by my body, however, and I felt pretty good for most of the day.

A couple times I had some problems at work, but for once I decided to outsource my problems and get help (something I never do). It at least unloaded some of the stress off my shoulders.

My meals were good today and I packed enough food for the day. But by the time I left school (I stayed to do some grading), I was starving!

Luckily enough, my husband was on his way home and was starving as well. So we made the potentially dangerous idea of going out to eat.

Now there was a Mexican restaurant that we’ve always wanted to try called “Tres Carnales”. So for once, we decided to go.

Downtown location

Pretty cool decor, everything Mexican!

I could have eaten way off track, but I decided not to. I ordered a pollo (chicken in Spanish) quesadilla. The ingredients? Fresh everything: corn tortilla, slow cooked shredded chicken and a little bit of cheese. Bingo. I know some of you are looking at that cheese and thinking there is no way that could fit my macros, but guess what! I fit cheese into my daily plan every day. It’s all about the amount you eat and what you’re willing to sacrifice. I find having cheese in my daily plan helps me with cravings because I already feel like I’m getting a treat.

One of the appetizers my husband ordered. They hand make their tortilla chips (so good) and their guacamole is one of the best I’ve ever had!!

After Tres Carnales, we went to the gym and I completed my workout; a round of 8 exercises including the dreaded burpees. I also completed 12 minutes HIIT on the stairs.

Week 2 Day 5 is DONE!

Week 1 Day 6/7

Hey guys!

So I actually just got done watching Mr. Olympia! I’ve never watched it before but it is my goal to get there someday! First as a spectator, then as a competitor. The intense training begins with the challenge I’m doing now and will continue with possibly a coach after. I’m so pumped about it!

So not much to report about my challenge today. It was a rest day so I simply watched my nutrition and dropped my calories a bit.

They had a dedication service at my church over our school so that was a much needed uplifting experience this morning. And I got to spend some time with my husband today which hasn’t really happened all week so that was awesome. We went out to eat at the Canadian Brewhouse. We have never been there before tonight because neither of us drink, but we were told the food was good so we decided to check it out.

I ordered the taco salad and it was delicious! It’s basically your taco salad veggies in a tortilla bowl (don’t have to eat that) with sliced, grilled chicken breast on top and salsa and sour cream on the side. Totally healthy and you get to control the toppings! Loved it! Totally felt like a cheat meal but fit right into my macros.

So other than that, today was a pretty chill day, but I’m noticing some restlessness. I can’t wait to get back into the gym tomorrow!

Week 1 Day 3

According to today’s schedule, it was supposed to be a rest day. Our coach has given us the ok to do cardio or something like yoga on a rest day if we are restless. I’m used to working out 6 days a week, so I definitely went ahead and did some cardio. Because I knew that I wouldn’t be tired out from anything else, I decided to push myself with something I dislike: the stairclimber.

I managed to complete a hard 12 minutes of HIIT. I may not have liked it during the moment, but I felt so good about it after I was done. And as my husband finished working out, I was able to spend an ample amount of time stretching and working on my flexibility, something that is very important to me.

Today I had less stress than yesterday, and my meals were more timely. The only time I sensed too long of a stretch between eating was after work. I have a ton of grading to do (life of a teacher…) and so I decided to stay a little longer to get some done. I didn’t bring any extra meals with me and so I was tempted to eat those popsicles in my freezer in my room. But I managed to avoid it and waited until I got home.

The ironic part of this is that when I got home I made my fish (haddock), rice and slice of cheese. I also added a little mustard on this. My husband came home shortly after and was in a miserable state, feeling awful. He was very hungry, and unfortunately we were running out of his groceries (he has his own macros/plan) so fast food was the way we went. We ended up at Pizza Hut. And on our table was: cheese breadsticks, boneless wings, pizza, and cinnaparts. Oh that smell.

I wanted that food. It looked good. It smelled good. But in my head, I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. That food would not make me feel good. That food would not help me reach my goals. That food would definitely not help me in this competition, and so I sat, watching my husband eat that food. And guess what! I did it. I didn’t have a single bite, no matter how tempted I was!

The worst part is, the rest of that meal is sitting in our fridge. How incredibly easy and habitual is it to go to the fridge, pop open the tasty leftovers, and heat them up. Too easy. So the battle is not over yet, but I’ve already determined that I will not let food control me. I will not indulge. I have a plan. I have a goal. And that is where my focus is going to be.

I am currently finishing my bowl of frozen mango, frozen blueberries, and greek yogurt and then I shall be off to bed. Have a great night everyone.