Today I will be heading off to a middle-of-the-woods type of place to go camping and learning in an outdoor classroom with my students. I will be gone for a few days, so I won’t be giving updates. I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m going to do my best on this trip to stick with veganism (vegetarianism is not a problem as the whole camp is vegetarian-based). I will let you know some tips and advice I have when I come back.
Have an awesome week everyone!
I finally got it last night on the treadmill. I finally thought up a few examples that really showed me things that were very difficult to forgive, but I have forgiven. As I reviewed my list, I realized these things hurt me more than they have ever made me angry. I narrowed my list to four things as I only wanted to summarize yesterday’s topic before presenting what I had prepared for today. My list consisted of the following: My father did not attend my high school nor my university graduations, my sister almost died due to the doctor’s mistake of putting latex elastics (of which she’s allergic to) in her mouth following jaw surgery causing her to near death, my friends burned down my family’s camp in a drunken stupor one Halloween night which contained years of memories that will never be replaced since my family was in the middle of renewing the insurance, and finally, the one that is still able to make me cry at any moment, is the fact that my grandfather died when an impatient driver went to pass a semi-truck and ran head into my grandparents’ vehicle coming in the opposite direction. Four extremely difficult situations I had to go through.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, these things cause me sadness, but I don’t hold grudges against the people who were guilty. And here is what I figured out:
1. My life philosophy: Hate what the person did, but don’t hate the person. The truth of the matter is, if sin did not exist, the person would not have done what they did. God did not design us to be this way, but we all sin because of the fall in the Garden of Eden. When Jesus returns, sin will no longer exist. Therefore, just as we reflect on ourselves being sinful, hate the sin but not the person.
2. Allowing someone to suffer what we choose to be consequences for what they’ve done is a method of passing judgement. We are not the ultimate judge. Yes, Earth has judges for major sins that are here so that hopefully less sin will be created, but who are we to gossip about those who have made mistakes against us? We cannot claim to be the judge that God is, and thus should not carry out such punishments.
3. I thought of the story in John 8 where the people brought forth the prostitute expecting Jesus to agree that she should be stoned. However, Jesus responded in a way they didn’t expect, and that was that whoever had not sinned should be the first to cast a stone. Yet, nobody could because everyone had sinned. In this same way, how are we to again, punish others in such a way yet expect forgiveness for when we do something?
4. In a way, Jesus became the person you are upset at. Jesus did not just die for one person’s sins, He died for ALL of humanity’s sins. Think about that. In order to truly die on the cross for us, He had to essentially become all the bad things that we are. He became the bad in all of us. And I thought if I were to see the face of Jesus in the person I’m upset at, would I really be able to stay upset? This is a hard one to think of…
With that being said, I quickly summarized and prayed that those ideas would stick for anyone having difficulties with forgiveness. I then proceeded to continue with my topic for today.
Today’s School Spirit Week day was Tacky Day. Quite frankly, I hate this day. I don’t find “fun” in dressing tacky. But I do it to support my students. So tacky it was. When trying to think of a topic associated with dressing tacky, it quite easily came to me that the topic should be on how life can get messy. And I had a great personal story about this that I was given permission to share, and that was on my step-sister, Natalie.
Natalie was a child with a free spirit that did not easily get along with my dad. Quite understandably, it is hard for a man to come into your life that in a way seems to be taking place of your dad. I can completely relate to that. But she was encouraged by her true father to move out early. She moved out with her boyfriend at the young age of 15. She then proceeded to get involved with drugs which eventually led to many (I believe up to 15) times of being in and out of rehab. Then, the fearful happened. She became pregnant.
During her pregnancy, she seemed to come clean. She moved back in with her mom and my dad, and although there were still some arguments between my dad and her, she seemed to be doing alright. Several months later, twin boys emerged. They were premature, but healthy. I sing my praises to God that those boys were and still are healthy. So many things could have happened. But as they were now born and she fed from a bottle, it was becoming noticeable that she drank.
One Christmas break, my sister and I were at our dad’s, and our step-mom noticed she was getting an alcoholic drink. And so, my step-mom locked up the alcohol in her bedroom. What came next, none of us were prepared for. She went ballistic. She was pounding on the door, screaming that it was unfair, that they should allow her to drink, and finally that she was going to get her babies and they were going to leave. This got so out of hand that it got to the point, the almost unbearable point for my step-mom, that the babies were in danger and the police needed to be called. Keep in mind, my poor dad is running three things at the same time: apologizing and trying to lighten the mood for my sister and I, trying to console and counsel my step-mom, and keeping my step-sister and her babies in the house while keeping unwanted people out.
When the police came, they gave her the option of going upstairs to say good-bye to her babies. She fought and fought them until they eventually and literally dragged her out of the house. If only I could share with you the nightmare. I have never heard someone scream and yell like I heard her scream and yell that night. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was being stabbed to death. The awful things she was yelling at her mother would definitely be carried for a long time. That’s when I really knew what addictions could do.
She was released the next day, and I expected that when she called, she would at least ask how her babies were. But do you want to know the ONLY question she asked? When her mom could come get her and take her to get her Methodone shot. No joke. I was in shock. To care about a drug replacement shot to help with her previous addictions over the care of her own children.
Later, she did move out into her own apartment with her children, but by that Friday, my dad and step-mom had the boys over for a sleep-over that they would never return from. She was not using her finances for the true care of her children but rather to feed her addictions, and so learned that she could live on her own again while visiting her children as they were kept at my dad’s.
As much as I’d like to say that she got the help she needed, I can’t. I can remember a conversation we had late one night where she was telling me that the worst thing for her was realizing that she had no dreams left. She used to want to be an actress, to be all of these big things in her life. But she realized that her addictions have drained all of these hopes, all of these goals and dreams out of her, and she had nothing left. Perhaps this was one of the most painful realizations for her. Because one night, in winter, I received a phone call from my dad. His voice was shaky, and he sounded as if he was ready to cry. As much as Natalie and him fought, she was still a huge part of his life as his step-daughter. And I believe this is what made it so difficult that the police had shown up on their doorstep the night before asking them to come and confirm the identification of the body they had found under a bridge. Upon investigation, they had come to believe that she had jumped off the bridge as there was only one set of footprints in the snow that led to the railing and thus leading to the body below. What a hard thing to accept. After years and years of drug abuse, of alcohol abuse, and of accepting that you have nothing left to live for in life, I can only imagine the pain she must have been in. She knew that rehab wouldn’t help because it hadn’t in the past. She couldn’t seem to escape the relationship abuses from men, the fact that she couldn’t find the help she needed nor the inability to escape the addictions that had control over her. This was nothing short of terrible.
Of course, the following fear came that child services would take the boys away. But my dad and step-mother fought for custody of the boys and thankfully were awarded it. And to this day, they are doing the best they can while parenting as grandparents. They boys are doing so well, I’m happy to report. But one day, and my father has talked to me about this, he knows the boys will ask where their mother is, and why they don’t have one like all of the other kids. And he fears that conversation. He fears revisiting and telling them that their father has never wanted anything to do with them and that their mother was so involved with such horrible things that she couldn’t take care of them and eventually couldn’t even take care of herself. What a hard conversation to have with children. I can’t even imagine.
I asked the other teachers and staff to think about the children we have difficulties with, to think of the things we don’t know about in their home lives, the burdens they carry to school each day. Because sometimes, it only takes one family member to make life messy for everyone else. And when especially dealing with children, those background messes need to be considered.
I had to rush through this worship a little as you can probably imagine as it got a little long. But I left people crying and with deep thoughts. Because the truth is, sometimes life sucks. Life can be unfair. The devil is at work so much in our lives, trying to tear us away from our Father who loves us, and unfortunately he uses things like drugs and alcohol that have a way of hooking us and can be very difficult to get away from. Things like drugs and alcohol have a way of consuming people and making the gift of life that God has given us seem pointless. And unfortunately, I see the devil in much of Natalie’s life, laughing and smiling at her misery. And yet in the same scene, I see tears running down Jesus’ face as He watches the destruction of His daughter, the one He loves more than anything. It’s a sad scene, not an easy one to grasp and still not the easiest one to talk about. But as my father said, it’s important to use these stories to help prevent others from making the same mistakes and if this story will help someone, then it is worth talking about.
I didn’t workout today as it was a rest day, but I do hope that you reflect on this, especially if you or someone you know is suffering with addictions. Addictions are something so incredibly unfortunate and cause so much pain to everyone. Take intervention now. Pray that the God of healing, the God that has already defeated all evil in this world will help you overcome. Because there is no power greater than God’s.
I’m usually a fan of trying new things, so long as there is no dropping sensations or high risk of death. If I can assess those situations as ok, I’m good to go!
One of the things I grew up with was a family camp on a lake. We have waterfront property and thus have always had paddleboats and canoes. I’ve always loved canoeing, and paddleboats are great for a leg workout, as well as having picnics on the water. But I’ve tried something for the first time this summer, and I’m in love: kayaking.
So many childhood excursions in a paddleboat just like this one!
Always loved canoeing! My mother sunk it once (right by the shore) and my sister never quite got the hang of helping me paddle! But I loved it just the same!
My step-father had bought a beautiful blue Otter kayak. Man, I love that thing. Paddling with the double sided paddle is such a good cardio/upper body workout as well. There is NOTHING I don’t love about kayaking. Of course, I’m in a lake and not the ocean, so the biggest wave I’ll battle are those made by the boats belonging to other campers, but even so, it’s not as easy to flip over as I thought. I love it!
Our beautiful kayak looks just like this one! Love at first sight ❤
I’ve been trying to go everyday while I’m home, and I sadly look out the window to see rain today. But I’m hoping by the afternoon it will clear up and I can go.
What are some new things that you’ve tried and love? Do you love kayaking? Have any adventure stories? I’d love to hear them! Comment below!
Sometimes, things get out of hand and you realize it. Sometimes, they get out of hand, and you don’t notice it. I’m incredibly ashamed to share this with you, but this was an instance of the out-of-hand without realizing moments.
I have been out of the gym for roughly 3 weeks. And to top it all off, I was away at an Outdoor School camp with my students relying on the camp food. The day following my return, I had booked a body composition assessment. Last year, I was at 22% bodyfat. I know I had dropped from that at one point, and yet without me entirely noticing (yes I noticed it was going up slightly), I landed at 30% bodyfat on Thursday. I died a little inside. I was so embarrassed.
But you know what? I can either beat myself up about it, or I can realize that I have the power to change that. And that’s what I’m choosing to do. I hit the gym pretty hard last night, and definitely killed myself tonight. I could barely walk out of the gym, let alone even finish my workout. I feel accomplished and feel like I’m back on track.
I hope this message finds you to tell you that if you’ve gotten off-track with your diet and exercising, it’s ok. There is time to change it RIGHT NOW. You can get rid of any weight you put on, you can then down to that body you’ve always wanted. Fitness is a battle of the mind, and you are capable of doing it. I hope that you’ll be encouraged to make changes today!
It has been almost a month, actually I think it has been a month since we’ve moved into our new place. When we moved, I couldn’t believe the amount of stuff that came out of our tiny apartment. The storage closet was basically packed full, and yet most of it was stuff I had not seen in forever. And of course, with the busy-ness of life, and the sickness that has ensued this house, there are still tubs and boxes sitting in the main floor of my house, waiting to be sorted into items with dedicated places to be, items that are to be sold, and last but not least, items that do need to be kept but put away for the time being. Now, I don’t know about you, but I HATE clutter. And that’s what is in my house. Things that I don’t even want to sort, don’t want to go through the emotional up and down about throwing stuff out that could be used in some way. I hate doing this kind of thing. I mean really, how did I get most of this stuff in the first place? My only guess is thinking back to a time of greater pay, many shopping trips, and collecting things I thought for sure I’d use and never did. What a waste.
I remember, a couple summers ago, my husband took me to visit a man that lived down the road from him. This man has such an amazing history with stories you could never believe. And yet, despite his awful past, the one he is ashamed of, the brutality of nature required of him for so many years, he has become the most calm, the most peaceful, the most content man I’ve ever met. I’ll never forget visiting his house. This man has the ability to make you feel so valued, so wanted, so welcomed. He never wants to talk about things that trouble him, but would much rather talk about you, your life, how things are going.
Now there are certain things I noticed about him and the way he lives that both my husband and I admire to this day. One is that the man is so knowledgeable. He knows all the right people, a lot of world-renowned people, and reads. The amount of quotes and advice this man can give you not just from his life, but from the books he’s read is phenomenal. He spends his time on family, on learning, on things that truly matter. The way I should be spending my time always.
The second thing that especially is vivid in my house as I sort through the endless “stuff”, is that this man’s house contains the bare minimum. In his bedroom is his bed, a dresser, and a display shelf with pictures of family and books. Simplicity with a sliding glass door for him to gaze into the wilderness each morning, and what a view! I don’t know who couldn’t be happy waking up and seeing that every morning. His living room contained nothing but a mattress on the floor and a tv. No couches, no chairs, nothing. His kitchen was not cluttered with things all over the counters, but instead had only the bare minimum and a simple kitchen table and 4 chairs. There was no mess, no clutter, no confusion. Everything he owned, he owned for a reason. He did not squander money uselessly on things that “could be useful”. The things he had he needed. And that was it. By doing this, it allowed him to indulge in the finer things. Flying to see his children, sitting at the local coffee shop, enjoying the company of people from town, living life calm and one day at a time. This man had his priorities straight.
I cannot tell you how much I want to be like that. Yes, I do want to have at least a couch in my living room, and maybe a few more things that he didn’t have, but to be honest, I don’t need all of this stuff that I have. Money has a way of making you feel powerful enough to want and need the things our head conceives that we do. Yet really, do you even use it 3 times a week? Once a month? Is it really that important to you? Or is it just some form of a fake emotional attachment you’ve created to something utterly useless to you?
Sometimes I watch the shows “American Pickers” or “Canadian Pickers” and see how much buying things has become almost an addiction. These people end up (usually) with barns and buildings just full of “stuff” they couldn’t seem to stop buying. And then when they haven’t seen it in 30-60 years, they finally call someone to sort through it and see what they can sell. I definitely don’t want to end up like that. I want to have a clean, neat house that people can enter and see that exactly everything has a place, and everything I have are things that I need.
I had a conversation with my dad last week. He had just bought a newer house up the road from his current one and was thinking of all the cleaning and moving that was about to happen. He mentioned how his building in the back was packed full of stuff, mostly stuff he never used. He mentioned these particular windows. You see, our family had an old camp (really an ancient farmhouse) in the woods area where the men would stay to go hunting or fishing, and the whole family could find a place to sleep if necessary to stay together on a weekend. It unfortunately got burned down by people that I knew in a drunken stupor (a whole other story). My dad needed to change his windows in his house, so he put in the new windows and kept the old ones, as they were still in good shape, for a new camp should they ever decide to build one. It has been years later, and no camp has been built. In fact, the family had decided to put all of their camper trailers on the lot instead, and my dad has even decided to sell his camper trailer. It seems like the family gathering times are getting less and less now that us younger members are growing up, getting jobs, and leaving home. So my dad has finally come to face the fact that the windows are useless to be keeping, and though they may be good to use, they aren’t for him anymore.
It’s all a process. We have such good hopes for things, such plans, and most of the time, if they aren’t needed, they will never be used. Don’t add to the clutter in your house. Don’t buy things you don’t need. A little indulgence every once in awhile, but nothing that will add to a hoarder’s paradise.
My last little tip: If you see something in the store you want but aren’t 110% sure you absolutely NEED, then walk away. Go somewhere else, to another store, walk awhile. If that item does not leave your head, and you feel you’ll regret leaving it, go get it. But if you have continued shopping and you start to think of the item as, “Nah… I don’t really need it”, then you are safe to walk away permanently. It seems so simple, yet it works so well. I do it all the time and it has saved me in the times when my pay is less to not waste the money I have on things I only think I need, and I don’t really. Try it out! It may save you some money and some space 🙂
Calm in Christ and Fitness 