From Feeling “Trapped” to Feeling “Free”

My husband and I (and our pups) just spent the last two days driving back up to Canada from the states. The past two weeks in the states have been phenomenal to say the least. I’ll write a post stating more of what we did later, but I experienced something tonight that I needed to feel, something I didn’t know would be possible for a very long time.

In high school, I lived in the “big city”. It was nice for the duration I was here, but when I left, I swore never to move back. I am a small town girl, and the big city is just not my scene.

When I graduated from university, I was able to get a job for the first year in a small town. Bingo! But when that maternity leave position ran up, so did my other plans.

I received a phone call from my superintendent that I had an interview scheduled in the “big city” on such-and-such a date at such-and-such a time. I hadn’t even been asked, I had simply just been told.

On that day, I drove to the city, did my interview, and of course, got the job. I couldn’t believe what was happening. The one place I never wanted to end up was the one place I was being told I had to be. I was angry for a very long time.

Eventually, I got to the point where I simply went around saying “God certainly has a sense of humour!” But my one year employment turned into two, then three, and currently on year four.

Reflecting on it, I knew God wanted me to be here. There were certain situations I had to encounter as a teacher to grow. There were painful moments I had to experience to become wiser. There were children who needed someone to advocate for them, and there were relationships built with students who just needed someone to listen that wouldn’t judge them. I was able to fill that place. As much as they think they have learned from me, I learned ever so much from them.

This year, when my big change from 6th grade to 2nd grade came, I couldn’t believe it was happening. As much as 6th graders stressed me out, I loved the counselling aspect; I loved the difficult questions. I felt like a stranger in grade 2. But of course, as time went on, it became easier and I was able to find aspects I liked. But I couldn’t help thinking, is this really where I’m supposed to be? Is this really what I’m still supposed to do?

I can’t really say it’s teacher’s burnout (though I’m sure some things are similar). It’s just the feeling of being “stuck”. No matter how many ways I looked at our situation financially, I could see no better opportunity to survive than where we were. We both hate living in the city, though I’ve come to see good parts about it and don’t hate it as bad as I used to. But when I can hear parts of my neighbour’s conversations, when my neighbours that I strive to be so nice to turn around and stab me in the back, and when I no longer see a way that Canadians are nicer than Americans anymore (sad reality from what I see here in the city), I know we aren’t really happy here. It’s not where either one of us want to be. So that’s when I realized something this weekend.

When we were finally finishing our drive, doing the same maneuvers through the city as we had done for years, we had come to the house, walked in, and I suddenly felt like I was in someone else’s house. I felt like a stranger walking into someone else’s life. It was a strange feeling. My husband did not experience the same thing, but for some reason, it was like I was that “spirit” looking at someone else’s world, an outsider looking in. Of course that feeling is over now, but that wasn’t the only feeling that came.

After driving for 2 days, we absolutely did not have the energy to go grocery shopping. So we went out for supper (our fridge is bare). On the way home from supper, it hit me. This city is no longer my jail. I no longer feel like I strapped to this city, unable to move. I no longer feel like the city is the pit that is going to swallow me whole to keep me here with no escape. I suddenly realized, with options my husband, my mother-in-law, and myself had talked about after Christmas break, the world is at our fingertips. It may not be a fun ride to make change, but to get out of the rut of tiredness, depression, and feeling “stuck”, a few months of painful change would be so worth it. It’s no longer an impossibly large, looming, unattainable vision, it is now a totally possible, difficult but doable task. And taking those chains off was the best feeling I could have ever experienced.

I know this post is kind of vague, but this year is a huge year of change. I cannot leak more information than is timely, but I can assure you this year is going to difficult but good. Stay tuned!

I Wonder If I Argue Too Much…

Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.

Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).

When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.

When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.

But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).

The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.

To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.

The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.

I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.

I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.

I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.

It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?

Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Macklemore Calls Out Pharmaceuticals

I have seen, many times, people who refuse to go to doctors or take medication unless necessary, called freaks. They have been blamed for wanting to be in pain, wanting to be sick, and in some very sad severe cases, wanting to kill their own family and children.

I’m a person that doesn’t believe in going to the doctor unless I absolutely need to. I’m a person that doesn’t believe in taking medication unless I absolutely have to. I don’t believe in NEVER going to a  doctor. I do believe they have their time and place, but that time and place is when absolute necessary.

See, the thing is that I spent a lot of time at the doctor’s and at the hospital as a child. We were sick a lot, always on some form of medication, and quite frankly, I got sick of it.

Not only did I get sick of it, but I also began questioning things, part of which led me to veganism. I know there is an increase of sin in the world, but it did not make sense to me at all that Christians were called to spread the message of God’s love throughout the world, but that our bodies would be constantly plagued with every illness going around.

Another thing that inspired me was the simple fact that there are people who seem to hardly get sick! What were they doing that I wasn’t? Was it really just that I had no immune system left?

What I discovered, through veganism and thoughtful reflection/prayer was that the way we treat our bodies is the way our body treats us. If we feed it absolute crap food, our body cannot be expected to defend us. Just as a bricklayer knows that you have to have quality product to build a strong house, we need quality food to build up our bodies. I kid you not, there are some vegans who have not been sick in years! Did they somehow live in a bubble and avoid the outside world? Absolutely not! Vegans are known for being out in the world, fighting for animal rights. But they’ve treated their bodies well with the healthiest food, plenty of water and sleep, and exercise, the building blocks of a healthy body.

All to often, we do not credit our bodies with the ability it was designed with to save us from sickness. When treated properly, our bodies really can fight off the germs and bacterias around us. But we have to build that ability up as described above.

So what happens when people don’t believe in their bodies and don’t take care of themselves? Hi ho, hi ho, off to the doctor we go.

Here is my problem with going to the doctor. Most doctors get kickbacks from selling pharmaceutical drugs. Most doctors feel so overwhelmed that they cannot spend the appropriate amount of time to properly diagnose you and give you a healthier treatment. Most doctors do not even get nutrition training, and thus will feel inadequate about giving nutrition advice. Most doctors know that patients want quick remedies. Unfortunately, what most patients don’t understand, is that these drugs are usually treating symptoms, and not the actual problem.

The other danger of most of these pharmaceutical drugs is the side effects and addictions they cause. I shake my head when I see commercials for different pills, and the side effects list takes up half of the commercial. Why are we consuming something so dangerous? And not only that, think of the huge drug market for the addicting drugs. Think of people coming off of these drug addictions. I’ve seen it first hand. My step sister ended up jumping off a bridge because she couldn’t handle her life anymore. I’ve seen her scream bloody murder while being drug away by the police because she just needed one more drink after she finally broke away from drugs but replaced her addiction with alcohol. I saw her weeping in complete devastation when her drug dealing boyfriend was banging his head against the wall and cutting his wrists. I’ve seen her begging outside of grocery stores, and caring about her daily methadone shot more than her own children. Yes, this can be street drugs too, but a lot of addictions start from pharmaceutical addictions. Once you can no longer obtain your addiction, it’s just a matter of finding something else to fill its place. It’s a vicious cycle.

I know, I know, some people may call me delusional, I’ve been called many things for my beliefs before. But if you don’t want to believe me, or do the research I’ve done, then maybe you’ll listen to someone who also has caught on to this misled, multi-billion industry. Here is Macklemore’s song, Kevin, a stand against the world’s pharmaceutical companies.

So what do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Canadian Soldiers… 3 Days to be Kicked Out!

Ok so here’s the deal. I love Canada. I’ve always been proud of being a Canadian. In fact, there’s nowhere else in the world I’ve ever dreamed of living (except for those few moments in the winter when we hit -50s Celsius… then my mind begins to wander…). But this bit of news I’ve heard recently has suddenly “burned my biscuits” (my husband hates that phrase!).

Last night, on the news, there was – as there always is – an update on the Syrian refugee crisis. As many know, Canada has said they would take 10,000 refugees. Of course this has started all kinds of uproar, but aside from that whole raucous, I was EXTREMELY disappointed with what I heard. Are you ready for it?

They are removing soldiers from the barracks in order to give housing to the refugees.

No joke. Now, this is not all military bases, but still! And do you know how long they have to move? 3 days. Honestly, 3 days. What kind of appreciation to our troops is that?

First, they are told they have to leave their home in order to make homes for refugees. Last time I checked, military paycheques weren’t the greatest. I’m pretty sure barrack living is much cheaper than normal housing situations. So we’re going to kick out our soldiers who don’t have tons of money, who probably don’t have a down payment for a house or a damage deposit saved up for a rental, possibly causing some of them to become rather “homeless” in order to save from refugee homelessness? Does this even make sense?

Secondly, they are being given 3 days. 3 days. The number keeps flashing in my head. In most rental evictions, you get a week. In extreme cases, maybe less than that. But the thing is, the soldiers didn’t do anything wrong. They’re being evicted on zero grounds of things they’ve done themselves. And we’re given them the glorious number of 3 days to restructure their lives. Yup, 3 days to find a place (this can take forever), 3 days to move, 3 days to uproot their current lives and create new ones. 3 days is a joke. This is ridiculous.

What do you think, am I being too hard on our government? Am I not seeing the whole picture? Is the thought that maybe we should treat our soldiers well since they are prepared to give their lives for our country ridiculous? I’m beyond bewildered.

Maybe this is wrong, but can we not put up temporary housing for them until something else is figured out? I know if I was running away from a huge terror, I would be happy to end up in a warm church room, or a town hall, or any building with a roof over my head and warmth. I guarantee food donations and other things will be coming in. I know people are willing to help out. So why aren’t we using vacant places instead of kicking our own residents out?

If you have any clear thoughts, definitely leave them below. This whole situation just blows my mind. Leave it below and let’s hear some other thoughts on this whole situation!

Ben Carson Under Fire?

I have heard from many different places that Ben Carson is under fire for the way he treated the press in a recent press conference. I don’t think Ben Carson is completely flawless – no human is! But this got my interests peaked because as many of you may or may not know, he’s quite the guy with quite the story! I really encourage that if you don’t know his background, look it up! This guy is pretty amazing, and the best part is, he’s kept God in the forefront of his life.

Anyways, the first thing I did was to look at different articles to see the opinions voiced. This is when I learned about what the press was upset about.

Years ago, when Carson was looking at going to universities, he was offered to attend a reputable military school. Whatever the wording was, he was told it would be free. Carson took this to mean a full scholarship. He told the military officer that he would decline as that was not the route in life he intended to go. Thus, he applied and went to medical school and the rest is history.

The press says that Carson claimed he had the full scholarship to a place that apparently doesn’t even offer scholarships. Now, that’s fine. The military officer may not have used the word “scholarship” so yes, maybe Carson did not quite understand the meaning at the time. He worked very hard to pay for everything he had in life, so going to school for free because of good grades would quite obviously appear to be a free scholarship to him. I can see that. But call it a lie if you’d like. I guess it depends on how you see the situation. But then there was an argument that he never even applied to this military school. Well of course he didn’t. He never once said he did. In fact, he said he had $10 in his pocket. Applying to schools at that time required a $10 fee meaning he could only apply to one – his medical school.

So of course, this completely disqualifies the arguments I’ve seen in the articles. But I didn’t stop there – I went on to see Carson’s behaviour at said “press conference”.

At this press conference, the press kept asking him about these same questions, the same ridiculous, disqualified questions. As anyone would, he got frustrated that they were going over the same things again and again. He then threw the ball back in their court and asked why they didn’t dig into deeper issues with the current president and other candidates, one being Obama’s sealed school records that nobody can look at. Carson questioned why the press didn’t want to know what was on those school records and why they were being hidden. Honestly, that’s a good point. Carson’s story is out there, his memoir is there, and the questions they’re asking are already answered if they look at the whole picture. Why don’t they want to know things that are completely hidden for some reason? Doesn’t that make you question things?

Anyways, I find this whole situation completely blown way out of proportion. What do you guys think? Did I miss something? Is it as ridiculous as it appears to me? I honestly think they’re just digging for anything against Carson, even the most trivial of things, because if this was the worst thing he’s done, are we even looking at other politicians? It blows my mind. Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Life Update: School, Veganism, Gym, Dogs, Neighbour, New Car, My Niece

It has been so long since I’ve written, and I am so very sorry. Life has a way of getting away from you, that’s for sure!

There are so many things to cover in my update, but I will try to keep them short!

School

The school year started in a rush. I still wasn’t settled in my new position of grade 2 teacher (I’ve been in grade 6 for 4 years). I wasn’t able to move into my classroom officially until the day before school started. So it was a whirlwind of a set-up and start to the year. Books didn’t come in on time, I wasn’t able to go through all of my resources during the summer because everything was boxed to move and then my classroom had work done. What a crazy, crazy start to the year.

Fast forward to now, and I finally feel settled in. Of course, it’s a new curriculum, and teaching grade 2 is nothing like teaching grade 6, but I appreciate it now. I am so much busier than I was in grade 6, I never have a spare minute for anything, but I like my new place and I love my students, so I am happy for the change.

Veganism

I’m still a vegan. However, with the crazy start to the year, the deadlines and all of that teacher-related stuff, my diet became one of convenience. I buy the pre-made vegan pizzas and all of that pre-made junk. I have gained way too much weight just for convenience. I hate it. I don’t like the way I look. I hate that my clothes are tight. I hate the way I even feel after eating the junk. I’m in the transition to a much better vegan diet. I’m cleaning it up by going back to more veggies and fruit, trying to get in one juice every morning. I just feel better when my food is fresh and I am in control of all the additives that is in my food. Fresh is best people!

Gym

My husband and I fell off the gym wagon. We just didn’t go when we should have, we got lazy, we just didn’t do what was good. So, this past week I’ve start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. I did buy 2 ellipticals (used), but I don’t have room in my house yet (working on it!). So I still drive to the gym in the mornings to do 20 minutes of cardio. I then sneak in the afternoon/evening to the gym to do weight lifting. Unfortunately, that means I don’t really workout with my husband so much anymore, but he is not a morning person, and quite frankly, I do so much better in the mornings. So this is what works!

Dogs

I’m still dreaming of a yard that my dogs can play in. We haven’t moved yet. But a friend of mine introduced me to a part of one of our city’s parks that has an off-leash dog area! My dogs bark so much at others at first, but the more we go, the better they do. The last time, they would barely look at dogs while they were walking past them. I’m so proud and it’s so good for them to get their energy out with the freedom of being off leash. I love it. I’m not sure what we’re going to do when winter hits (since their legs are so tiny), but we will have to figure out something.

Neighbour

It’s been awhile since I posted about neighbour issues, but a long time ago, our neighbour caused us to send 2 of our dogs to live with my family. They said the dogs were barking too much (on a day I was home), and all that wonderful jazz. Recently, my neighbour has been very helpful. When people were trying to break into my husband’s truck one night, she called the police. She warned me about people stealing things out of vehicles, she congratulated me on my new vehicle, and we’ve had some decent conversations. I think my neighbour has warmed up to me! Which is awesome! I actually enjoy having my neighbours now!

New Car

So, with the problem my car was having (anytime it was put in reverse, it accelerated and would almost run into the neighbour’s place or whatever was behind me), it was time to get a safer, new vehicle. I have loved the Mazda CX-5 for years, and so we went to see that first. I absolutely LOVED it and ended up getting it right away. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have a nice, safe, good vehicle. I am thankful every time I drive it.

My Niece

I’m so excited to announce that my sister gave birth 2 days ago to my niece! I am so smitten, totally in love, and wishing flights were cheaper so I could fly home to see her in person. I’ve been so excited as this is my first biological niece, my father’s first biological grandchild, my one grandmother’s first biological great grandchild, my other grandmother’s first great granddaughter, my step dad and mom’s first grandchild, etc… It’s such a special child and everyone got to be there! Ah! I’m so happy, I can’t even tell you. The second I get to see her, I’m not going to let her go!

Life Vs. Death: What Would You Choose?

Yesterday, at our school’s staff meeting, we had a representative from Alberta Health come in to discuss allergies and anaphylactic shock. Of course, this came with training on how to use an Epi-Pen.

Growing up, my sister had extensive allergies. She always had one Epi-Pen at school and one at home or rather near her at all times. It was a no-brainer that she needed it incase something did happen. It wasn’t even a choice. She always had 2.

You would think that all families would treat this issue the same. But unfortunately, working in a school has shown me otherwise. Some parents will not buy their sons and daughters Epi-Pens. This boggles my mind. A school is a place where so many children come from so many homes carrying so many different items. Sometimes, people will develop the allergies. So even if they had no idea they were allergic to something before, they could come into contact with something later in life that they have an anaphylactic shock to because they have developed an allergy to it. You never know.

Now, we do have a Peanut-Free environment at our school that we enforce. But we cannot control what children were in contact with before they came to school. So it’s a very hard thing to ever make 100% sure.

So, here’s the deal. For the parents who refuse to buy Epi-Pens, we aren’t supposed to give their children a generic one if they need it even if we have it. We could get in a lot of trouble. We cannot administer medication that does not have their name on it.

So let me ask you this: Do you sit by and potentially watch the child die while the paramedics are stuck in a traffic jam or somewhere further away in the city? Because you’re not supposed to drive them to the hospital yourself either. How do you do that?

The decision basically boils down to this:
#1: Do the legal thing and don’t give the child the generic Epi-Pen you have on hand. Best-case scenario, the child is able to make it long enough for the ambulance to QUICKLY get there and handle it from there. Worst-case scenario, the ambulance cannot get there quick enough and you watch the child struggle for each mini-breath and die.
#2: Risk getting fired/sued by the family, but at least know that you did what you could to save that child’s life by administering the generic Epi-Pen you have on hand. It could literally save a child’s life; that’s what they are made for.

I am really interested in hearing what you would do. It’s a tough situation. Leave your answer in the comments below!

Exercise on Vacation

As I said in previous posts, I was in New Brunswick for just about 2 weeks. Now, generally, the two main towns I spent the most time in do not have gyms. The city I was in had gyms, but I was staying outside of town and did not have my own vehicle.

Maybe you can relate to a situation like this. However, just because it’s a vacation doesn’t mean it isn’t important to take care of yourself and your health, so here’s what I decided to do:

I jogged/walked. At my mom’s, the town has a few different loops you can choose to take. At my dad’s, it was either risk running along the highway, or simply do laps around his house, which I more often did. At my favourite place in the world – St. Andrew’s – you can go anywhere on the walking trails or along the roads or along the ocean.

Now, I could have done plyometric workouts, but it was just so easy for me to wake up in the morning, drink down 1L of water, put on some shoes and go. Once I was out, there was no turning back until I was done. Then the rest of the day was mine for doing whatever I felt like.

And the best part? I got my family involved. My mom went with me, my brother went with me, I even took my brother’s dog, Charlie (a golden retriever), with me. People who love you will want to do things that you do just to spend more time with you. Plus, you never know who you are inspiring!

A good jogging and walking partner, and also a great passenger!
(Don’t worry, it’s a tiny town with speed limit of 30. Just hopping from the grandparents to the parents.)

My House is Shaking…

Yesterday morning, as I was sitting in bed, I felt my bed shake! At first, I thought it was all in my head. But then it happened again. Then I started wondering if there was a critter hiding in my mattress (seriously.. I don’t live in the wilderness…). Then it happened again and again. I wen through thoughts of someone hitting our house, the neighbours doing something big enough to shake the rest the building (this would take a lot!), a reaction of an earthquake (which we’ve never had that I know of), and many other things.

This building is 50+ years old. So a huge concern was that maybe the place is going to collapse, but it all made sense when I heard a few large smashes.

Across from us is a school. On the other side of the school is of course the teacher’s parking lot. They have all of the construction equipment over there to dig it up and redo it or do some underground work or something. Everytime they dig up the ground or make some large movement, it causes a shaking reaction that reaches our building.

It is kind of scary knowing how old our building is, but at the same time, such a relief that it’s not all in my head! Whew!

Encouragement When You Don’t Know Which Way To Go

A song came on while on my drive back from a colleague’s birthday supper this evening; a song that I had heard many times but struck me in a different way tonight.

The lyrics are as follows:

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (Calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe

Because Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you
You are…

What struck me about this song this time is the fact that it’s something very real that happens to so many people everyday. How many times are you stuck in a place where you feel pulled in so many directions and you really don’t know which way to go? I know I feel like that sometimes. There are times I literally have no idea which way to go, and so I end up falling down on my knees, praying for any type of sign, any type of pointblank direction from God. And that’s exactly what this song is talking about.

When you don’t know where to go, when the world is pulling you in every direction, there is on voice you can rely on, and that’s the voice of Truth (God). When the world is telling you you’re wrong, but you’re standing strong in your faith, remember that God is the one who will raise you up to His loving, safe arms in the end. God will remind you that you will win, even if those around you are continuously telling you that you’ll lose. Being bullied? Being verbally abused? Told you are not good enough? Remember that God is sitting there, waiting for you to find HIS voice so He can remind you that you are more than enough and He loves you more than anything. Refuse the distractions, and look for the one who matters.

Look up this song anytime you need some motivation: Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns