A couple years ago, I was invited by a friend to join a group of Facebook. Upon reviewing the group, I found that it was indeed Christian focused and designed specifically for women. I thought, “Great! Another way to get … Continue reading
Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.
Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).
When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.
When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.
But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).
The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.
To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.
The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.
I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.
I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.
I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.
It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.
I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?
Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.
So, because I’ve turned vegan and have been researching a lot, I’ve learned that of course in order for bananas to be ripe, they should have lots of spots on them. The bright yellow bananas are actually still very starchy and haven’t had time for the starch to turn into sugar yet. So I’ve been trying to let the bananas sit longer. But I noticed that I don’t like the bananas as much. I couldn’t figure out what was going on!
I was watching Freelee’s videos (as usual) and I noticed when she would peel a banana, it would stay upright like a normal banana should. My very ripe bananas were almost falling over! Yet the peels looked the same… How are the outsides the same but the insides are so different? I was very frustrated. I couldn’t eat the banana as a banana and so was making multiple smoothies.
Today, since I’m coming off the two days I spent eating cooked meals and going back on RawTill4, I knew I needed to have more than the 13 oranges I freshly juiced this morning. That wasn’t enough. So I looked at my bananas, and picked fairly spotty ones, though not as spotted/almost brown looking as I had been leaving them to ripen, and let me tell you, I ate 13, as is, no smoothies. They were like banana sugar paradise! I have found the right stage for bananas to be! Now I understand what they are actually supposed to taste like! Yahoo!
So here’s what I figured out. Different climates will cause things to ripen in different ways. My fruit is not sitting in the sun, I live in a very dry climate (whereas she lives in a tropical climate), and so they almost certainly are not going to ripen the same way. Duh!
I am seriously so happy I figured it out. It actually saves on time for ripening, and I love them! Such sweet goodness! Have you ever had struggles with bananas? Did you know about the proper ripening of them? Leave your answers in the comments below!
I drove myself to work today. What a good feeling! I still got up at the regular time, but had so much more time to get things done and still get to work on time. I actually enjoy not feeling rushed in the morning!
The school day went well. I kept in all of my students during morning recess to write lines about how important it is to be quiet in class. I also had some boys scrub a few cupboard doors with toothbrushes (I have a cleaning stash under my sink) from throwing snow outside (an absolute no-no).
Now, the crazy part about this, is I was filling out a graduate survey for my university, and one of the questions it asked was: How would your students describe you? I’m the type of teacher that talks straight to my students. We work together and we figure things out together. Then, if necessary, I will step in to solve problems that they are not solving on their own. And because I’m very straight-up with them, I told them what I was doing and asked them to be completely honest about their answers. Keep in mind the trouble they were just in. They completely poured out these amazing descriptions, one being, “a good disciplinarian”. I wasn’t sure how to take that at first until they told me that my punishments were good and fair. Wow. I love my class!
After school, I had to leave right away because I was getting my next size of trays for Invisalign at the dentist. The roads were terribly icy, but I managed to make it there safely. I then proceeded to sit for an hour because of how behind they were. However, I couldn’t leave and come back the next day because my dentist only works on Tuesdays. So I waited, and then got my new bottom plate, as well as a maintenance top plate. It hasn’t started hurting yet, but I fear it’s coming.
I went home, got ready, and my husband and I went to the gym. I had a very good back and biceps workout. I was stronger, felt solid, and took a little more of a leisurely approach by slightly longer breaks since my workout was a little shorter today (7 exercises). I even was able to complete 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the stationary bike! It was just a good time at the gym.
I noticed something at the gym tonight though. Standing in front of the mirrors, I realized that my back shape is nice (from a side view). But it’s almost like my stomach is somehow getting flatter and yet sticking out more. I guess I can best describe it like a thick, smooth curve. I haven’t quite settled on how I feel about this. But I chose to leave it as a realization that I am stronger, I feel better, and regardless of the fat percentage, my muscles are showing more than they ever have before, and that’s a feat in itself. So I’m going to keep waiting and see how my body continues to take shape.
Today was another long day. I can successfully say that after last week of not getting much curriculum taught, we at least hit the books hard today! I think we came up with some well researched answers last week that helped truly answer some of their questions. Now to move forward with that knowledge!
We’ve also started studying the book of Revelation. My students are interested in learning what God warns for the ending of time and what God tells us to do. So I’ve quit my plans for worship, and have taken on this study. I have great hopes and purposes for this study!
I also found out this morning that I have a meeting right after school and that there is another super important meeting tomorrow that I’m going to have to miss and catch up on later as well as a mini-meeting the day after and a long training meeting the day after. Catch my drift on all of these meetings I’m expected to be part of and yet somehow still function as a regular teacher and wife and mother to our animals? I can’t seem to keep up!
Today’s IT meeting did go fairly well. Expectations were laid out which means I have yet more work to do. Somehow, somehow I need to get caught up and stuff done. My life needs to get back in order.
My workout this evening was much anticipated. I needed to get some stress out. It was my first leg workout this week, and although there were a lot of hefty things I hate doing, I looked forward to it tonight. It was an excellent workout and I left very sore.
A new exercise I had to do was called “20s and 2s”. This is basically how it goes:
20 leg extensions, 2 leg curls
18 leg extensions, 4 leg curls
16 leg extensions, 6 leg curls
14 leg extensions, 8 leg curls
12 leg extensions, 10 leg curls
10 leg extensions, 12 leg curls
8 leg extensions, 14 leg curls
6 leg extensions, 16 leg curls
4 leg extensions, 18 leg curls
2 leg extensions, 20 leg curls
Can I say ouch? That’s definitely how I felt at the end! I was so happy to go to bed and rest up my legs tonight!
Man, my body is still sore! I can’t remember the last time I was this sore from working out! I generally have high pain tolerance, and then mix that with my delayed onset muscle soreness, I hardly EVER feel pain. You know those reps towards the end of your set where your trying for all your worth? I don’t feel sore at that moment, I just feel my body giving up. That’s it. Rarely do I feel like my body will rip apart at those final reps, but more like my body will collapse from not being able to do anymore.
That being said, I’m sore, so sore. But I had to get up and do a bunch of things because my husband is sick and I have to go to work. Work went well (although I got tired quickly), and my students managed to get me off topic for about an hour. An hour is a crazy amount of time to be off topic, I understand. But the choice of topic was one that could not be ignored. I choose to work in a Christian school for the simple fact that I can freely talk about God and show His love to my students. I can strive to prepare them for a world of sin and temptations and teach them to grow their own personal relationships with God. And so when questions arrive about the end of the world, Heaven, and complicated questions such as why God even created humans if He knew we would sin, I know these are important questions that require answers. And this just happened to be such an afternoon; an afternoon my students had questions that I felt deserved the best answers I could give. These are the conversations I will remember.
Following school, I stayed a little longer to help a student with her math, and then headed home to take care of my husband. Tonight was a special night for me. Our gym was hosting a grand opening for Fresh Fit Foods, a clean eating food delivering service. I was so excited to go meet the chef, sample some of the menu, and sign up for a 21-Day pack. Now, I will warn you, it is fairly expensive! This is not something I could probably do all year. But my health is worth my investment and if that means setting myself on the right track by having no excuses for eating good, then I’m going to do it. So I did. And let me tell you, I’m so proud of a company that searches for nothing but the best ingredients, making all their own recipes and finding foods that don’t use any chemicals or additives in their foods. The chef was so wonderful and easy to talk to, and you could tell how proud he was of his clean food. It’s honestly food and a company I would recommend to anyone!
Check them out here.
After signing up, I went around getting the different foods and supplements my husband needed. This took longer than expected, but I was able to find everything he needed. I went home and was able to visit with him for a little before going back to the gym. I ended up working out for 2 1/2 hours, including a 1/2 hour steady state cardio session on the stationary bike. I killed legs again (too many leg days in a row) and could barely get off the bike by the time I was done. I went home and could barely finish the things I needed to do before going to sleep. I was exhausted!
I have a habit (whether good or bad) of checking my Newsfeed on my Facebook quite frequently. I mostly skim through things, but every once in awhile, something grabs my attention. Today it was a quote:
Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.
Wow. What a new definition of faith.
I stopped and started thinking about all the things I’m going through right now, the things that I may question “WHY” to, the things that don’t make sense to me. I truly believe that humanity is widely scared of the future because the future to us is the unknown. A lot of us get settled in the comfortable and are scared of changing for fear of the unknown. Or I’ve met people who are scared of being settled for also their fear of the unknown. We don’t take risks because we fear would could happen. The unknown outright scares us.
To add to that, the events we add the two questions to: “IF….” and “Why…?”. How many times have I asked myself the “if” question, let alone the “why” question. It is not unusual for a really big decision to come my way, and it actually take a month for my nerves to calm when I can see the benefits of a change. One example of this was moving. We have had problems at our current apartment, and quite frankly have outgrown it. Yet I was more comfortable staying at a place for almost 2 years that wasn’t right because I knew how to handle it. It was a comfortable place for me. And yet an opportunity came for a better place. A place that was bigger, that hopefully has no or at least less problems when we do go view it before moving in, and I freaked out. The thought of finding time to pack, finding time to clean my apartment, the finances involved with moving, the budget I have in my head if we move, whether I’ll actually like the neighbourhood, a million “IF” questions.
Or consider the “why” question. During this ONE month, I am tackling designing and researching and gathering and the process of going live with a new website for my school. As the new communications rep for the school, that also included creating, updating, and maintaining a school Facebook, a school Twitter, as well as my own classes Edmodo. Not only that, but I am still heavily studying and doing assignments for my two college courses while also full-time teaching. Not only that, my mother is coming to visit this week, which of course would be the weekend before my provincial evaluation which can either secure my career or end it. Not only that, the amount of prep work that goes into a provincial evaluation is insane. Not only that, I do try to have a home life with my husband and our dogs. Not only that, we haven’t had a functioning washing machine in our apartment for nearly 8 weeks of 2014 (currently it’s not working). Not only that, I have to try and find the time to pack up my apartment and clean if we can move before the end of the month. Not only that, but I refuse to give up my 6 day a week visits to the gym because sometimes I feel that’s the only thing keeping me sane. Not only that, but I try to upkeep with chores, dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc… as I believe a wife should. Not only that, but I’ve seemed to become a sort of school counsellors for many students that have questions about God and life. Not only that… and the list could go on. And sometimes, when the load catches up to me, I sit back and ask the dreaded question, “Why? Why do I have to be so busy? Why am I the one so many people depend on? Why can’t I ever have a nice vacation like other people do? Why?”
I know my questions may seem trivial. I mean, people everyday question why family members have to get sick. Why someone close had to die. Why you’ve just lost your job, your house, your health, your mobility. And yet these are all good questions, questions that I believe we may never get the answer to until the day comes when we meet God face-to-face.
But God promises, whether in this life on Earth, or when God returns, we will know the answers, and it will ALL make sense. I don’t see God as just a man sitting on His throne watching the world be destroyed. I do believe that God allows things to happen for reasons we may not know. But I do know that God knows the future, and God knows us. There is a reason for your question, there is a security in knowing that God already has the answers for your “IF” questions, your “WHY” questions. We just need to have faith that someday, in hindsight, it will all make sense to us.
Put your life in God’s hands, and know that those hands are stronger than anything Satan or this world can throw at you. God loves you and someday, you’ll understand.
Calm in Christ and Fitness 