I Wonder If I Argue Too Much…

Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.

Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).

When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.

When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.

But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).

The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.

To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.

The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.

I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.

I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.

I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.

It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?

Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Skinned Alive

So, it’s getting time for me to get a new vehicle. Not because I’m tired of my old one, but because my current one is going a little psychotic on me. Let me explain.

Half of the time, when I turn the key in the ignition to turn my car on, it revs really high for no reason. I then usually wait a minute for it to slow down a bit before putting my foot on the brake and putting the shifter into reverse. Almost always, it will rev itself high again, and if I didn’t have my foot on the brake, I would be in the neighbour’s house. I’ve even had to slam it back into park and shut it off because the vehicle just wants to fly backwards. It’s the scariest thing.

Now, my husband asked the mechanics about the situation, and apparently it’s common for my era of Kia to do this and they aren’t really sure what causes it or how to fix it. So essentially, according to the actual Kia mechanics, I’m at a loss. I either keep driving this vehicle and chance getting seriously hurt or seriously hurting others someday, or get something new that is safer. So naturally, we’re looking for something new.

Now, since I’ve been educating myself so much on how things are going in the world, leather has become an issue for me. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve been car shopping, but most of the vehicles come with leather seats now. In fact, you can’t get the fancier packages without leather seats; they just don’t make them that way.

The issue is, my husband doesn’t care if it has leather. In fact, he prefers leather. I, on the other hand, do not want leather. In fact, it is my number one criteria. Cows get skinned for that leather, and it’s not a “happy” world where we think the cows are dead before they skin them. In most cases, the cows are not. And before you start distancing yourself from any feelings of understanding, put yourself in their shoes. Do you want to be alive while they are shedding your skin off of your body? Do you know the FDA says it’s ok for a cow to just be “stunned” before they are slaughtered? I refuse to have any part of this.

Let’s talk Rolls Royce for a moment. It’s a highly sought after car. But did you know they boast about how many cows the kill to get enough leather for the interior of their vehicles? They are happy to boast about containing 15-18 cow hides inside every Phantom. It’s sickening.

Maybe some of you think I’m crazy. But honestly, think about it a minute, and reply below. How can you purchase something that could have been skinned alive, feeling every stroke of that knife, having the outer layer of your nerve-attached body peeled off of you, just so you have a “fancier vehicle”? I’m not that heartless! What do you think?

Article on this issue: http://www.care2.com/causes/the-shocking-truth-about-leather-no-its-not-a-meat-byproduct.html

***The truth of the matter is, I was going to post a picture as there are many of these poor cows being skinned alive for leather. Just go to Google and type something as simple as “cows leather” and you will several pictures come up. It is a sad reality. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I can’t look at these pictures without wanting to cry, without feeling ashamed that we are treating a life like that. I have loved animals since I was young and never put the pieces together about what I was eating until a couple years ago. Animals were my pets, were my joy, were my friends. They brought a calmness and a sense of uplifting to my life. I can’t stand by and be a cause of the pain and suffering they have to endure for our own selfishness. So I will leave these pictures with you that I believe will still get the point across. All animals have brains. They all feel, have emotions, and react in their method of communication. Don’t be heartless. Have a heart.

Debunking Car Sales: What You Need to Know!

I have come to learn that there are a lot of misconceptions in the world about car salesmen, so I’m here to fill you in a little bit.

#1: Salesmen usually only make a commission, which means no sales, no income. Which leads to #2.

#2: When you go in without an intention to buy, you are wasting their time to have a chance of making money for their families.

#3: You may think that every salesman is ripping you off, but here’s the deal. They only make 25% of the profit the dealership makes, which means, if you refuse to pay much over the wholesale price, that salesman is only taking home $250 or less. And when you calculate how many hours they spend with each customer explaining everything, taking test drives, dealing with you, taking you through the finance process, they really are not becoming “rich” off of those deals.

#4: Sales do not happen everyday. So put together the profits from above, mix with days that people don’t show up for the appointments they said they would, plus a dead day at the dealership. Sorry, food is not produced from love alone. Most salesmen have kids at home just like you do.

#5: If you ever wonder why salesmen can get upset, it’s because people do crazy things. In my husband’s short time in sales, he’s had people come in and ask to go for a test drive just to get dropped off somewhere so they didn’t have to pay for a taxi. He’s had countless people CONFIRM their appointments with him, and never show up. He’s had a ton of people even put deposits on vehicles, and then go out of contact for weeks, often before saying they are no longer taking the vehicle or fighting for a lower price than was agreed on. He’s had people yell at him for giving him their name before going on a test drive, although it is typical for the dealership to know who you are before they let you drive tens of thousands of dollars down the road. He’s had people come back and yell at him for not noticing things (including a ripped seat…) when they drove it off the lot. He’s had people yell at him for not being approved for financing because they haven’t paid their bills in six months. I mean, seriously people… you can’t be a jerk to people and expect them to be happy all the time. It doesn’t work that way.

#6: There are times that dealerships will let vehicles go for less than what they paid for it. Now, before you go jumping for joy, remember the profit we talked about above? How much do you think the salesmen are bringing home for their families if the dealership isn’t even profiting off the vehicle? Yeah… think about it.

I know there is probably a ton of things I’m missing, but this is a good start. Car sales is not the typical way I’ve thought of it before. I’m that wife at home with our three dog-children. There is not even a chance I could be a stay-at-home person for the very facts I mentioned above. It’s so easy to think that you’re the one being wronged all the time, but unless you truly understand how it all works, you’ll never realize what you’re doing to the people behind the scenes.

Are there rich car salesmen? Of course there are. Some people have enough money that they never bat an eye at the sticker price and will pay whatever the dealership originally asked for the vehicle. And depending on the vehicle, that can be a decent profit. But that’s not how most customers are, and that’s where the problem lies.

So next time you buy a vehicle, sure, ask for a lower price, but don’t beat them over the head until your salesman has to go home and tell his kids he’s made almost no profit again, and he’s upset because someone gave him a hard time for doing his job yet again. Please think of the people you interact with. Your purchase is their bread and butter on the table. Remember, no sales mean no money. Love is important, but it doesn’t pay the bills.

A Teacher’s Joy

Some of you fellow teachers will be able to relate to this, but it definitely was a euphoric moment for me yesterday.

Since I work in a smaller school, with an odd design, there are 4 select classrooms in my area that are very close together. In fact, we’re the only 4 classrooms in “the basement”. And as the second youngest classroom in the basement, I have the privilege of seeing my old students from time-to-time. The problem with this is that as they pass on from my grade, their schedules change and so our times for breaks do not line up. I do not see them as often as I’d like.

You see, every once in awhile, you get “that” class. The class you don’t want to get rid of. The class you want to teach forever. Don’t get me wrong, no class is perfect! But the dynamics of each class are different, and that’s what makes the total and complete difference. 

I had a great class last year. I really had a hard time letting them go. I was worried that my class this year wouldn’t be as personable, as attentive, or as connectable. But I have been blessed greatly with another good class. It is only the third week of school, but these kids have been great so far. I don’t feel completely connected to all of them yet, but this is a process that takes time. I do look forward to a great year.

But what hit me last night was being at my desk, after the dismissal bell, watching the students in the hallway get ready to go home. And it hit me. 

This is a teacher’s joy.

Being able to watch the students you struggle with, the students you work so hard for grow. You watch these big steps in their lives take place over the course of many years and you know that you had a part in that. And maybe this is just more sentimental to me because I don’t have my own children, but my students are my children. It’s hard to get to know these kids for so many days a year and have to say good-bye. I now can understand better, though to a lesser extent, parents that let children go to university or other places. It’s hard. But it is my joy to help them succeed and to pass them on to other teachers that will continue to help them succeed until they hit the time in their lives where they will be making their own decisions and choices. And it truly is a joy to watch them grow and become more the people they were meant to be. 

If you’re a teacher that is struggling, just remember that you were given this opportunity to make a difference in the lives of these kids. It may not be easy but you do have the chance to make a difference, even if it is a forced smile in the morning. Sometimes all these kids need is a smile and pat on the back. Even if you have to compliment them on how proper they are sitting in their chair, find something to compliment them on each day. There are enough things in the world telling them that they are inadequate, be the person that makes them feel important. 

We, as teachers, have such an important role as teachers in the lives. We all need to take it seriously. These kids are not just the future leaders of the world, but in many ways are the leaders of the world, and there is no better time to help them than now.

The Uncontrollable Future

As I sit here and reflect on life, I’ve come to realize that no matter what you think, no matter how hard you try to predict what may happen in the future, the truth is that you honestly never know.

You can have your whole life planned out and one small thing can change the course of your future. It’s almost unsettling; asking yourself what you should do, what you should plan, what goals you should work towards, what really is going to be worth it in the end. Yet we have no greater capabilities than to lift these questions to God in prayer and make the best decision that we can think through at that given time, whether it may have been the right decision or not. Only time will tell.

It has become mostly apparent to me that life cannot be lived a year at a time, or a month at a time, or a week at a time. Sure, you can make plans for a vacation, or towards other small things in life, but you can only truly get the most out of life when you’re doing the best you can with the day you’ve been given.

We aren’t promised 20 more years, we aren’t even promised tomorrow. We aren’t even promised another 5 minutes, but what we have right now – that breath you just took – was a gift; a gift of time. We are only human and not every moment will be spent as perfectly as possible, but we can strive to change the course of our future, the course of our actions, and the course of our thoughts. We can strive for the best moments, for moments of bliss, moments of happiness, moments frozen in time full of laughter and joy. Only then will thoughts of the future seem less frightening; less frustrating. Only when we make the best of each moment we have will we truly appreciate the life we’ve been given and live to become that greater person that we were meant to be.

So take a moment and don’t think of what you can do at another time to change your future, but rather what you can begin doing right now, with this very gift of life. Think of what you can do and do your best.

Life is not always meant to be easy nor is it always certain. Sometimes decisions in life hang in the grey area we wish didn’t exist. But only take a moment to think, lift the situation up in prayer, grab the Father’s hand, and jump two feet in. You’ll be rest assured that one way or another, you are doing the best you can do for the moment of time you’ve been given. You’ll continue to do the best you can with each gift of a moment you receive from now until the glorious moment when all fog shall be removed from our eyes and life will suddenly appear crystal clear; the moment life will no longer be uncertain but rather become a time of endless celebration and a time of timeless rejoicing.

I Remain Humbled…

So, here’s a little story of what happened last week, not once but unfortunately twice, that has taught me a monumental lesson.

At Outdoor School with my students (school in the wilderness for 4 days), I was chosen to instruct a class called River Rush. River Rush teaches the students about finding an average, volume, and depth. The goal is to learn these things well, then to go to the river and calculate the amount of water flowing down the river every second. It’s actually a pretty easy class to teach, except it decided to rain everyday this year. But our last day was the worst. An absolute downpour. So of course, we had arranged for a bus to come sit by the river so that it was warm for the kids to get in and warm up. No chances of hypothermia were going happen if we could help it!

So anyways, this camp is designed for grades 5-6. We have our regular school kids, but then we also invite homeschool kids as well. These kids come with their parents since they technically have no teacher. And one of these homeschool kids came down the bank in a pink poncho with La Vie en Rose on it. For those of you who don’t know, that’s the name of a lingerie store, and this was a boy. I couldn’t believe that a mother would send her son down in that. He was already a homeschool kid, and to put that on top? My immediate thoughts went to him getting bullied. I felt so bad for this kid.

I made a point to reach out to him, got to know his name, and figured I’d keep an eye out for him just incase. But what happened set me back in my place. This kid not only seemed not to care what he was wearing, but 3 times that day we almost lost our rubber duckies down the river. And 3 times this kid suddenly appeared down river to catch all 3. No other kid even attempted that. This was one hardy kid who received several applauses for not only his courage but his pure skill. I don’t even think I could have gotten down the river that fast. Needless to say, I was reminded of my puny knowledge and judgement in a God-created world.

Second instance happened that same day, the night I got back. It’s almost as if God thought I needed more than just the one reminder I had gotten, and I took it.

My husband and I had been out late taking our one dog to the airport for my step dad. So on our way back, we went to Denny’s for something to eat. Directly behind us sat a woman and a man probably in their later 20s. She was obviously drunk (he was not) and she was saying some of the strangest things: “Oh foooooood! You know sometimes food makes me happier than sex!” for example. “I’m not being loud am I? No I don’t think so!” Yes, she was. But that’s beside the point.

I couldn’t help but think of how loud and obnoxious she was being, and how much quieter of a time my husband and I could have to eat. I grew up with drinkers, but myself don’t drink. I was used to the behaviour, but did not understand how people could enjoy making themselves look ridiculous like that. But then I got put in my place again.

After awhile, she began to speak her heart. She was continuously asking the man if he was mad at her to which of course he said he wasn’t. These two were obviously not in a relationship, but he was simply someone she knew and could lean on in a time of need. She said how she had been drinking since Sunday (it was Wednesday), and that she was meant to love. That some “idiot” had told her she wasn’t (or wouldn’t?) ever have children. That she was meant to have children and to love them with all the love she could.

Talk about eating my thoughts. I had judged this poor woman to be another obnoxious drinker with the things she had been saying before, and yet out comes the pain that is on her heart, and it all of a sudden makes sense to me. I wanted to turn around and tell her God loves her and He knows that she is meant to love, but the situation was just not right for that. The man was trying to get her to hurry with her eating and contain her the best he could. I do give him kudos for the nice and yet firm way he was handling her. It’s necessary when you’re that drunk. But at the same time, I wish she could have felt as loved as she sounded like she needed to feel.

My husband told me later that at one point, when I had gotten up to use the washroom, she did speak of God to the man. She did believe in Him and that gave me some assurance. God can find a way into her heart and hopefully He’ll show her a better way. I hope to see this woman in Heaven, and I pray that she experiences the love she seeks.

Until then, I learned a double lesson that I needed. I am not a judge, and the only true judge is God. I cannot take His place for my judgement’s are wrong. I always considered myself to be slow to judge others, but twice in one day I was proved wrong. I am quick to defend some people, and yet I create my own thoughts about some people too, sometimes without noticing. That’s something I need to work on, and maybe you do too. I’ve always admired the quote, “Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked in their shoes” and yet was I really applying it 100%? Obviously not.

Don’t judge others.

Matthew 7:1-5 speaks loud and clear when it comes to this topic:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Ouch. I’m human, and I make mistakes, but nothing will stop me from trying to overcome my judgemental side. I expect people to have no idea of the past from which I come, and yet here I am judging others without knowing theirs. I remain humbled as I’ve learned from a God who loves us all so much that nobody can do what He does, and nobody knows what He knows. I place my trust and renew my faith within Him because I know that He will make no mistakes, and His judgements are just. I continue to look forward to the day of His return so that I can be by His side and learn from His ways to live the joy of life that was originally created to be. A life free of my mortal judgements.