What in the World is Going On? – Healing Journey Day 20

Journal:
Today was actually a pretty good day. Now, when I say it was a pretty good day, I’m reflecting and realizing that my “good” days have taken on a whole new meaning themselves. A “good” day now would have been a “crazy” day to me before. But I firmly believe in celebrating what is good overall, so I will continue to say that today was a pretty good day.

I managed to eat 2 bananas in the morning. This was a feat. I can’t remember the last time I actually managed to eat before the afternoon. The bananas were ripe and sweet and I was thankful. I was not craving any cooked food whatsoever.

At lunch time, we ran into the first big issue: hot lunch was not ready. I, in no way, blame the person in charge. He was doing the best he could with none of his help showing up. In fact, I felt bad. Being the teacher I am, I decided to move our lunch time to after lunch recess so that there wouldn’t be a huge rush and extra time could be provided. After explaining this to my students, they completely understood.

Before my students came back in from recess, I decided to go see if any help was needed. Instead of giving assistance, they told me to call out my orders according to my list and simply gather what was needed for my class. So that is what I did. I had 8 orders for my class and I worked on transporting everything and having everything prepared for my hungry students to eat when they came in. However, because it was such a rush, I didn’t realize that I had also taken the lunch of a student who had been sent home in the morning. Because it had been handled, the hot lunch could not be returned. So I ended up splitting the lunch with another student whose father had not yet shown up with her lunch. This wasn’t even because I really wanted the lunch to be completely honest. But it was because I have a problem with wasting food. The cheese slice they added to the veggie burger? It definitely came off. Since being vegan, I cannot look at cheese the same way. And for anyone who has not read my other posts, I work in a school that does not serve meat whatsoever, so on any hot lunch day, meat is never an option. Everything is either vegetarian (like pizza days) or vegan, often with the option of either.

So, I didn’t end up with a super heavy feeling which I credit to not eating the whole lunch myself. However, I did not feel as “fresh” either. I’m not enjoying cooked food as much as I thought I would. There really is something to eating raw. I think my biggest struggle right now is that I’m limited to a single fruit per day and I just really want some veggies in there too to give me a break from the sweetness. But that day is coming soon. I just have to keep this up a little longer (especially since the past 3 days haven’t been 100%). Tomorrow, I have to clean up and do a full banana island day.

After lunch, my next big event happened during gym class for my students. The student whose parents still had not shown up with anything for her to eat was keeling over in gym. At this point, I asked if I could go into the canteen and pick a couple more things out for her. I sat with her while she ate the two things we selected. After she returned to gym, I looked at the clock and realized I had only about 5 minutes left until it was time to pick my kids up from gym. So I decided to head back into the kitchen to see if any help was needed in the clean up from hot lunch (again, one person doing everything). As I went in to help, the announcement went for what should have been a lockdown drill. However, a small and yet huge mistake was made. In a rush to fit our drills into the day, the script from the emergency paper was read and instead of using the appropriate words to say that it was just a drill, the script that meant it wasn’t just a drill was used. I can’t even begin to explain the stress and panic that occurred following the use of the wrong script. Thankfully, it ended up being just a drill with the wrong words being read. But as soon as everyone was given the all clear, many teachers ran to find out what happened and I think it is safe to say that this mistake will not happen again.

The rest of the day went fairly well, aside from an earthquake drill we had to practice later in the day. It was not the most productive day at work. But I came away from the day proud of my students and how they handled each situation. I am just happy we were all safe.

Though I did have a meeting of sorts again after school, I was actually home by 6:00 pm. It is a record for the past few weeks. It felt so good to just leave my classroom a mess, not worry about prepping for the next day, and not worrying about having to get up early the next morning to do it all again. I was home, I was safe, and for one evening, work could wait.

I would like to say the rest of the evening went well, but it didn’t. Around 7:00, I started wondering why my husband had not messaged me since lunch. He almost always messages me when he gets home around 6:00. And then I found out what happened.

A year or so ago, my mother-in-law was involved in a massive court case as her assistant had embezzled a bunch of money from the company. As she is second under the owner, she was just as much if not more involved with taking this lady to court than he was. While this was going on, my mother-in-law’s house was broken into: the door was kicked down, things were stolen, etc. Police were involved, the door was taken for fingerprinting, and the house was searched. Nothing ever came from this case, though suspicions were strong. She then installed some cameras along the driveway and put an electric gate at the end of the driveway as well. Nothing seemed to happen after that.

Well, yesterday, someone had come along and not only disconnected everything from her electric gate, but had also unbolted and stolen all of the electric gate equipment. To me, that took someone who had premeditated this as the person would have had to have all the right equipment to do it while also trying to be fast so as not to be caught when someone drove by. Though there is still a slight possibility it was someone looking to make some cash, it doesn’t seem likely.

Not only was that bad enough, the reason my husband had not contacted me was because someone had actually broken into the house again. But instead of just kicking in the door and stealing some things, they had turned on her gas burners and left them running. No, they were not ignited; they were simply turned on so the gas would continue to fill the house. Honestly, this is so much like a tv show. These are things you don’t think will ever happen to you. But this is real life and this is scary beyond belief. The worst part of it all is I had two of my dogs upstairs in a kennel. If they had blown up the house or burned the house down, my dogs would not be alive today. I freaked out. The worst part is, they called the cops, they came and took a look but of course could do nothing. The best advice they gave her was to set up cameras, fix the gate, and attach a sign at the beginning of her property saying that it was under surveillance. Even for myself, I find no comfort in this whatsoever. I think I’m still in shock now, even as I write this. This is one of my “homes”. This is my husband, my mother-in-law, and my dogs. If anything happens to them… I just can’t even fathom right now.

So needless to say, I didn’t leave the house. The gym was the furthest thing from my mind. And though I did manage to eat a total of 5 bananas today, only 2 of those were after I got home. My appetite was far from here. I’m on edge. I just can’t even imagine…

Review of Symptoms:
-Tired
-Stressed
-Not so hungry due to stress
-Cooked food is causing me to feel not as great.
-Acne is the same.
-Haven’t “eliminated” in several days…

Weight at the end of the day = 174.6 lbs (still no weight change)

Total Calories = approx. 1237 (78% carbs, 15% fat, 7% protein… much better ratios today)

Why Vegans Are Hostile Towards “Plant-Based” Eaters

Growing up, you are always taught the basics: people who eat meat were the norm, people who didn’t eat meat were vegetarians, and people who didn’t eat any animal products were vegans. Those are/were the levels of people with what they ate. However, this classification has caused strife in the world.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen arguments about what vegans are and what they are not. That’s when I was introduced to a new classification: Plant-Based.

So from everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve read, and everything I’ve heard, I can safely tell you the difference between a plant-based eater and a vegan person.

A plant-based person is someone who avoids all animal products (sounds like a vegan, right?). However, plant-based eaters are not necessarily doing it for animal rights. They are not necessarily avoiding meat because they see inhumanely slaughtered animals in every piece of steak. They don’t see cows beaten with metal pipes because they are not cooperating with the milking machines when they see milk in the stores. Plant-based eaters are usually eating that way for health reasons and are often much less judgemental of others who continue to eat meat.

Vegans are all of the above, avoiding animal products like the plague, because they see the suffering in the animal products. They hear the squeals of pigs in fear and suffering when you bite into a sausage. They see the knife slitting a cows alive throat when you bite into your burger. They see the tears of terrified animals when their flesh is being used. And because of this violent world that most people do not even know about, vegans take on the role of educating the world and fighting for the rights of these living creatures who cannot speak for themselves. Vegans could NEVER make the mistake of eating an animal product nor even using something made from animals so long as they can help it. It’s just not something they can bring themselves to do in the name of suffering animals. Yes, sometimes vegans come across harsh, maybe even too hard sometimes pushing people away from veganism rather than drawing them to it, but it does come from their passion and their inability to understand why you don’t care for these amazing creatures who are suffering needlessly for your meals. It would be the same for someone who’s anti-abortion not being able to understand how someone could take an innocent life. It’s the exact same thing – both species unable to speak out for themselves, both lives being needlessly ended.

So where does the hostility come between vegans and the plant-based people? Well, it comes when the plant-based eaters claim to be vegans, and then tell people it’s still ok to have some animal products. Nothing angers vegans more than people pretending to be for their cause, claiming to be under the same category, yet supporting something they don’t support at all, something they in fact go out of their way to fight against. So obviously, this makes them very upset and causes them often to lash out against those that are ruining their name. It is very common for vegans to ask these “fake vegans” to change their name to plant-based, and often times a fight will begin before plant-based people finally find out what the vegan movement is truly about.

Do I believe in acting so hostile towards each other? No. I’m pretty sure these “fake vegans” don’t even know that there is a difference between claiming to be vegan and being plant-based. I really think it comes down to education because like I said, I grew up believing that eating no animal products makes you a vegan, so I can easily see how others would think that too.

Hopefully this helps some of you see the difference between the two classifications. I know it’s a bit confusing and may even seem a bit ridiculous to some people, but for anyone who has a true passion for something, you can probably understand how it feels when somebody seems to undo the work you’ve put so much effort into. Let’s just remember to educate and not hate. Peace out!

Farmers Do Not Love Their Cows

I apologize that the title of this blog sounds hateful. I can assure you I don’t have farmers. For 2 years of my life, my family had our own farm. My best friend in university’s family had a beef farm, and for two years, my hairdresser and her husband had a beef farm. I don’t hate farmers in the least. But here is an argument I was part of this week.

Now, normally, I’m not such a vocal person. I’m not the kind of person who just looks for a fight or who believes everyone should think the same way I do. In fact, because of my Christian beliefs, I believe that God has given everyone the gift of free choice, and so I am not someone to take that away. Of course this gets bordered when it inflicts pain on others, but that’s a whole other topic. The fact is, in Exodus, God gave permission to eat certain animals, one of them being cows. So if you want to eat beef, I may not agree with it, but you have total right to do that. So that’s not where this argument is coming from.

What I saw this week was a picture of an almost frozen calf in a farmer’s truck. This is a typical appearance. In my two years of farming, we were up in the middle of the night to help our animals sometimes. I get the work it takes. I see the dedication farmers have. But the caption of the farmer is how much they cared/loved their cows. That’s where I had a problem.

Now, this world has problems enough with understanding what love really is. All too often we see people throwing around the “love” word without really meaning it. People date people and still keep their own needs above their partners. People get married, and stop caring for each other. This is an awful view of love. There are so many terrible views of love. One of the pure views of love that are left in the world is when I look at mothers who truly love their children. They will do anything to protect them and give them the best lives possible. That’s what love should be. Fighting for the one you love, willing to die for that person, that’s love.

Now, I know we are talking about animals and not humans, and many people do not consider them on the same level, so that’s fine. Let’s go with that. But love, in no sense of any manner, means killing the thing you love. Think of a child’s favourite toy, or an adult’s favourite car. You love that toy/car. If that object were to “die”, you would be incredibly upset and angry. These objects aren’t even alive. Yet the cows are. (This also goes for pigs/sheep/chickens, etc…)

So these ALIVE things that farmers are claiming they “love” are raised to be killed. Does that still seem like love to you? Is it caring to kill them?

I had someone tell me that ranchers and farmers are different. That’s cool. I can see they are different. That’s not a big deal to me. The ranchers say they are animal rights activists and they do what they can to give the cows the best lives they can. Well, although it does seem like a very nice gesture to give an animal the best life possible for their short lives, do you think they would call it a “good life” to live for a couple years then be killed? Would you call it a “good life” if you were raised to the age of 2 or 18 (2 year old cow = 18 years as a human) to know you would be placed with a bullet between your eyes and then cut apart for others to eat? Would you call that loving? Is that caring? Knowing you were only born to be food? I don’t think so.

I think there is such a disconnect in this world! It’s crazy! If you are willing to put all that care into an animal, taking a cow into your home to warm them up, saying that you “love” them, well, I will agree you are acting that way. But why do you stop loving them? Why does it change from this seemingly “love” feeling to a feeling of “get on my plate! Die!” Is that how you feel about your dog? Is that how you feel about your cat? Is that how you feel about your children? They’re only worth loving for so long before you get rid of them and don’t care what happens to them?

Some of you may be wondering why I have such a big deal over a simple word. But here’s the reason, people are not owning what actually happens. Sure, the cow may have a “good life” before its death date. But here’s what happens to this “beloved animal” on it’s death date. It gets taken on a usually overloaded cow trailer where they are not given water or anything of substance on the way to slaughter. Once they get to the slaughterhouse, they become terribly frightened. They hear other cows expressing their fright and just as a dog has amazing senses in the personality of humans, cows are no different. They can sense fear and know something is wrong. The “beloved” creatures are as scared as a child in the dark except darkness is easy to fix, death is not. So not only are they unloaded to this terrible place, many people abuse these animals while they are still alive, fighting with creatures who are only scared and reacting as such. Do you go in and punish your child for having a nightmare? These cows are LIVING their nightmare and being punished for it.

When the time comes to be killed, a bullet is put between their eyes. Now, according to government regulations, it’s ok if they’re not killed by that bullet as long as they are stunned and unable to move. Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s almost like a totally functioning person in a coma. These people, when out of the coma, are able to tell you things that people said because they were totally there, just not in control of their body. That’s how these cows are except they can’t tell you what people are saying, but they can tell you about the hooks that were painfully shoved through their legs. Would you like to be alive with hooks piercing your body? I’m going to guess not. Of course, the hook is not enough to kill the cow. So the next step is being sliced open down the middle of their bodies and through their neck. Mmm. What an awesome feeling while you’re still alive. So humane. Such a “loved” and “cared about” animal, right?

So here’s the thing. If you can accept what you do, and you have no problem saying cows are just money to you, that you don’t actually love them and don’t care about the violence you put them through, then by all means that’s at least not hypocritical. Again, I don’t agree with it and think it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are, but I at least appreciate the honesty. But if you advertise to the world that you are such a caring and loving person to these animals, you are so hypocritical and maybe even lying to yourself! I’m asking farmers and ranchers to take responsibility for their actions. You’re not really an animal rights activist when you’re still sending them to a bitter death. So that’s the part I have a problem with. Accept the realities of your job. Don’t just pretend that you’re doing something good for them because for all the good you did before, I guarantee the cows would choose a little less cozy life in exchange for keeping their lives. Nobody wants to die, not even animals. They are alive, they have thoughts, they are just unable to communicate to us the way we need to understand. So start thinking and accept what the truth is. That’s it. If you choose to continue to eat meat, like I said, that’s your choice. But know where that meat is coming from and what that animal is going through to get to your stomach when the world over knows a vegetarian/vegan diet is a way to thrive. You don’t need meat, you don’t need dairy products. But make your choice while being educated and not hiding the truth.

Know the truth, own your choice.

Skinned Alive

So, it’s getting time for me to get a new vehicle. Not because I’m tired of my old one, but because my current one is going a little psychotic on me. Let me explain.

Half of the time, when I turn the key in the ignition to turn my car on, it revs really high for no reason. I then usually wait a minute for it to slow down a bit before putting my foot on the brake and putting the shifter into reverse. Almost always, it will rev itself high again, and if I didn’t have my foot on the brake, I would be in the neighbour’s house. I’ve even had to slam it back into park and shut it off because the vehicle just wants to fly backwards. It’s the scariest thing.

Now, my husband asked the mechanics about the situation, and apparently it’s common for my era of Kia to do this and they aren’t really sure what causes it or how to fix it. So essentially, according to the actual Kia mechanics, I’m at a loss. I either keep driving this vehicle and chance getting seriously hurt or seriously hurting others someday, or get something new that is safer. So naturally, we’re looking for something new.

Now, since I’ve been educating myself so much on how things are going in the world, leather has become an issue for me. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve been car shopping, but most of the vehicles come with leather seats now. In fact, you can’t get the fancier packages without leather seats; they just don’t make them that way.

The issue is, my husband doesn’t care if it has leather. In fact, he prefers leather. I, on the other hand, do not want leather. In fact, it is my number one criteria. Cows get skinned for that leather, and it’s not a “happy” world where we think the cows are dead before they skin them. In most cases, the cows are not. And before you start distancing yourself from any feelings of understanding, put yourself in their shoes. Do you want to be alive while they are shedding your skin off of your body? Do you know the FDA says it’s ok for a cow to just be “stunned” before they are slaughtered? I refuse to have any part of this.

Let’s talk Rolls Royce for a moment. It’s a highly sought after car. But did you know they boast about how many cows the kill to get enough leather for the interior of their vehicles? They are happy to boast about containing 15-18 cow hides inside every Phantom. It’s sickening.

Maybe some of you think I’m crazy. But honestly, think about it a minute, and reply below. How can you purchase something that could have been skinned alive, feeling every stroke of that knife, having the outer layer of your nerve-attached body peeled off of you, just so you have a “fancier vehicle”? I’m not that heartless! What do you think?

Article on this issue: http://www.care2.com/causes/the-shocking-truth-about-leather-no-its-not-a-meat-byproduct.html

***The truth of the matter is, I was going to post a picture as there are many of these poor cows being skinned alive for leather. Just go to Google and type something as simple as “cows leather” and you will several pictures come up. It is a sad reality. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I can’t look at these pictures without wanting to cry, without feeling ashamed that we are treating a life like that. I have loved animals since I was young and never put the pieces together about what I was eating until a couple years ago. Animals were my pets, were my joy, were my friends. They brought a calmness and a sense of uplifting to my life. I can’t stand by and be a cause of the pain and suffering they have to endure for our own selfishness. So I will leave these pictures with you that I believe will still get the point across. All animals have brains. They all feel, have emotions, and react in their method of communication. Don’t be heartless. Have a heart.

Week 9 Day 2

This morning was just not a good morning. I woke up unhappy, and just couldn’t seem to lift my own spirits today. My husband didn’t have to go to work until late, and so everything was rushed more than normal this morning. I missed being late by literally a hair, and I just felt such a mess this morning.

To continue matters, our worship today was filled with intense sadness. A brother to one of the teachers at a sister-school lost his wife due to some health complication that they weren’t able to save her from. To make matters more complicated, she was 6 months pregnant with their first child. They managed to save the child which of course is what his full attention is on as of now. He knows that his wife would have wanted him to do whatever necessary to keep their child alive, and so that is what he’s focussed so heavily on now. The baby is just over 2 lbs; very tiny and so very young. The problem is, he’s in the states, and as many of you know, this is not going to be an easy road financially with so many weeks to months of recovery for such a premature baby. I am going to ask that you please keep this man in your prayers. You may have no association to him, but these are people who thought little of themselves. In fact, they actually met while both volunteering for relief services after 9/11. The more I hear about this couple, the more unfair it seems. And the whole thing is that we will have no idea why God allows these things to happen to people that seem so good, the kind of people this world needs more of. But it is in my faith that God will wrap His arms around this man and his tiny son, and that He will help that son grow to a healthy state so that he can go home with his dad.

If you feel moved by this tragedy, I will leave the link to the donation site below. I’ve always been in Canada where we have not had to worry about such extreme health care costs. He needs your help. But most importantly, he needs your prayers.

Anyways, worship left me in a continued saddened state. The next stop was taking attendance and getting my students upstairs for our Remembrance Day ceremony. This assembly allowed me to take a breath, and to really contemplate things in my life, and realize again that I am so fortunate and blessed to have what I have. Even if my car needs work done, even if it’s extremely cold outside, even if my house is so trashed that I’d be embarrassed for anyone to see it, I still have things that other people do not. I need to be more grateful.

I’d love to say the rest of the day went much better, but no amount of reflection could have prepared me for the energy the kids brought today. They did so well containing it during the ceremony, but after finding out it was -25 Celsius outside, and so recess was inside, all of their energy was coming out in my room! Oh the madness! I was so glad when the day was done.

After school, I was not done work. In fact, I stayed at work until 8:00 p.m. I then came home, got ready, and went to the gym. I needed the gym tonight.

Tonight’s workout was supposed to be three circuits for back and biceps, but the gym was so packed! It ended up being supersets instead of full circuits just whenever I could find available machines or benches. I skipped cardio tonight because my mind was not in it. Instead, we came home and I continued to work on school related things until after 1:00 a.m. and even then, only went to bed because I knew I needed to. Definitely looking forward to an uplifted mood tomorrow!

If you’d like to donate to the tragedy described above, please click on the link below. I know he would very much appreciate any bit of help he can get to help his son fight for his life! Thank you in advance!

http://www.youcaring.com/memorial-fundraiser/ashley-picco-memorial-fund/260229

April 3, Part 2: God is Revealed

As you’ve already seen (if you haven’t, go back to April 3, Part 1), tonight has been INSANE. But it’s the after story that gets me every time.

We have been missing one of our two sets of apartment keys for over a week. Conveniently, the keys we were missing were the ones with our gym tags that we need to use everyday. We’ve looked in all the obvious places: coats, gym bags, car, shelves, etc. We agreed that we’d need to clean out our apartment better to find them.

Now, after the apartment was cleared to enter again, we went to eat to give that little extra time for the building to air out. When we did come back, we realized that during the flurry of the moment, we did grab the car keys but not the apartment keys. I was able to buzz us in with my cell phone, but then we were stuck in the hallway wondering how we were going to get in. We had not seen our landlady at all, even during the gas situation earlier, and it was likely she wasn’t even in residence.

Standing in the hallway, I, for some reason, thought to check my coat pockets again. Right there, in my left pocket, was that missing set of keys. Coincidence? I think not.

God sees the future. God knew that the gas event would happen, and we’d leave without taking the proper keys. Although it has put us a little out of our way by managing with only one set of keys and using alternate ways to sign-in at the gym, I never needed those keys as much as I needed them tonight. God knew what would happen ahead of time and provided for my needs. Even my husband immediately said that he would not deny that God was in this. This was God. God had been revealed.

It reminds me of a song by Newsboys: “God’s not dead. He’s surely alive.” God is truly alive. He’s all around. He’s planning things ahead of time that you don’t even know about. He could be using an inconvenient situation that you’re dealing with right now to reveal Himself to you in a powerful way later. With God, you can’t be sure what He’s going to do or what He may allow to happen. What you can be sure is that God always wants what is best for you and loves you unconditionally. God is there, wanting you to always turn to Him, and leaving His arms wide open for you to rest in His safety; in His presence.

God is for you, and He’s for me. Who can really stand against you when you have God on your side?