From Feeling “Trapped” to Feeling “Free”

My husband and I (and our pups) just spent the last two days driving back up to Canada from the states. The past two weeks in the states have been phenomenal to say the least. I’ll write a post stating more of what we did later, but I experienced something tonight that I needed to feel, something I didn’t know would be possible for a very long time.

In high school, I lived in the “big city”. It was nice for the duration I was here, but when I left, I swore never to move back. I am a small town girl, and the big city is just not my scene.

When I graduated from university, I was able to get a job for the first year in a small town. Bingo! But when that maternity leave position ran up, so did my other plans.

I received a phone call from my superintendent that I had an interview scheduled in the “big city” on such-and-such a date at such-and-such a time. I hadn’t even been asked, I had simply just been told.

On that day, I drove to the city, did my interview, and of course, got the job. I couldn’t believe what was happening. The one place I never wanted to end up was the one place I was being told I had to be. I was angry for a very long time.

Eventually, I got to the point where I simply went around saying “God certainly has a sense of humour!” But my one year employment turned into two, then three, and currently on year four.

Reflecting on it, I knew God wanted me to be here. There were certain situations I had to encounter as a teacher to grow. There were painful moments I had to experience to become wiser. There were children who needed someone to advocate for them, and there were relationships built with students who just needed someone to listen that wouldn’t judge them. I was able to fill that place. As much as they think they have learned from me, I learned ever so much from them.

This year, when my big change from 6th grade to 2nd grade came, I couldn’t believe it was happening. As much as 6th graders stressed me out, I loved the counselling aspect; I loved the difficult questions. I felt like a stranger in grade 2. But of course, as time went on, it became easier and I was able to find aspects I liked. But I couldn’t help thinking, is this really where I’m supposed to be? Is this really what I’m still supposed to do?

I can’t really say it’s teacher’s burnout (though I’m sure some things are similar). It’s just the feeling of being “stuck”. No matter how many ways I looked at our situation financially, I could see no better opportunity to survive than where we were. We both hate living in the city, though I’ve come to see good parts about it and don’t hate it as bad as I used to. But when I can hear parts of my neighbour’s conversations, when my neighbours that I strive to be so nice to turn around and stab me in the back, and when I no longer see a way that Canadians are nicer than Americans anymore (sad reality from what I see here in the city), I know we aren’t really happy here. It’s not where either one of us want to be. So that’s when I realized something this weekend.

When we were finally finishing our drive, doing the same maneuvers through the city as we had done for years, we had come to the house, walked in, and I suddenly felt like I was in someone else’s house. I felt like a stranger walking into someone else’s life. It was a strange feeling. My husband did not experience the same thing, but for some reason, it was like I was that “spirit” looking at someone else’s world, an outsider looking in. Of course that feeling is over now, but that wasn’t the only feeling that came.

After driving for 2 days, we absolutely did not have the energy to go grocery shopping. So we went out for supper (our fridge is bare). On the way home from supper, it hit me. This city is no longer my jail. I no longer feel like I strapped to this city, unable to move. I no longer feel like the city is the pit that is going to swallow me whole to keep me here with no escape. I suddenly realized, with options my husband, my mother-in-law, and myself had talked about after Christmas break, the world is at our fingertips. It may not be a fun ride to make change, but to get out of the rut of tiredness, depression, and feeling “stuck”, a few months of painful change would be so worth it. It’s no longer an impossibly large, looming, unattainable vision, it is now a totally possible, difficult but doable task. And taking those chains off was the best feeling I could have ever experienced.

I know this post is kind of vague, but this year is a huge year of change. I cannot leak more information than is timely, but I can assure you this year is going to difficult but good. Stay tuned!

Organic vs. Non-Organic

Take a good look at those cucumbers. Do you see a difference?

I wish my camera was a little better. If it was, you would see that the top one is smoother and much more dull than the bottom one. The bottom one has many more ridges and is less “perfect”. Can you guess which one is the organic one?

If you guessed the bottom one, you are correct.

I love cucumbers. More specifically, I love cucumber sandwiches (it’s my thing lately). Of course my motto is to always buy organic when you can, but at $5 per cucumber, it becomes very expensive.

The top cucumber came in a bunch of 3 that I got at Costco. Normally, their produce is pretty good. However, I do wish they would bring in more organic items. Regardless, I figured this pack of 3 English cucumbers would hold me over until my next organic order. Let’s just say, I have 2 1/2 of those cucumbers still in my fridge weeks later.

Why you may ask? Because they are way too wrong.

Wrong in the sense that the texture is different. Wrong in the sense that the flavour is off. Wrong in the sense that I can tell this is nowhere near a good, organic cucumber.

It makes you wonder… if there is this much difference in an organic and a non-organic cucumber, then what is really going on with our food?

I may dive into this issue a little later, but I can tell you friends, it’s not good. Scientists need to stop playing with our food and we need to buy as much organic as possible.

From now on, the only cucumbers I will be consuming are the expensive, but much healthier and natural option in the bottom of that picture.

Debunking Car Sales: What You Need to Know!

I have come to learn that there are a lot of misconceptions in the world about car salesmen, so I’m here to fill you in a little bit.

#1: Salesmen usually only make a commission, which means no sales, no income. Which leads to #2.

#2: When you go in without an intention to buy, you are wasting their time to have a chance of making money for their families.

#3: You may think that every salesman is ripping you off, but here’s the deal. They only make 25% of the profit the dealership makes, which means, if you refuse to pay much over the wholesale price, that salesman is only taking home $250 or less. And when you calculate how many hours they spend with each customer explaining everything, taking test drives, dealing with you, taking you through the finance process, they really are not becoming “rich” off of those deals.

#4: Sales do not happen everyday. So put together the profits from above, mix with days that people don’t show up for the appointments they said they would, plus a dead day at the dealership. Sorry, food is not produced from love alone. Most salesmen have kids at home just like you do.

#5: If you ever wonder why salesmen can get upset, it’s because people do crazy things. In my husband’s short time in sales, he’s had people come in and ask to go for a test drive just to get dropped off somewhere so they didn’t have to pay for a taxi. He’s had countless people CONFIRM their appointments with him, and never show up. He’s had a ton of people even put deposits on vehicles, and then go out of contact for weeks, often before saying they are no longer taking the vehicle or fighting for a lower price than was agreed on. He’s had people yell at him for giving him their name before going on a test drive, although it is typical for the dealership to know who you are before they let you drive tens of thousands of dollars down the road. He’s had people come back and yell at him for not noticing things (including a ripped seat…) when they drove it off the lot. He’s had people yell at him for not being approved for financing because they haven’t paid their bills in six months. I mean, seriously people… you can’t be a jerk to people and expect them to be happy all the time. It doesn’t work that way.

#6: There are times that dealerships will let vehicles go for less than what they paid for it. Now, before you go jumping for joy, remember the profit we talked about above? How much do you think the salesmen are bringing home for their families if the dealership isn’t even profiting off the vehicle? Yeah… think about it.

I know there is probably a ton of things I’m missing, but this is a good start. Car sales is not the typical way I’ve thought of it before. I’m that wife at home with our three dog-children. There is not even a chance I could be a stay-at-home person for the very facts I mentioned above. It’s so easy to think that you’re the one being wronged all the time, but unless you truly understand how it all works, you’ll never realize what you’re doing to the people behind the scenes.

Are there rich car salesmen? Of course there are. Some people have enough money that they never bat an eye at the sticker price and will pay whatever the dealership originally asked for the vehicle. And depending on the vehicle, that can be a decent profit. But that’s not how most customers are, and that’s where the problem lies.

So next time you buy a vehicle, sure, ask for a lower price, but don’t beat them over the head until your salesman has to go home and tell his kids he’s made almost no profit again, and he’s upset because someone gave him a hard time for doing his job yet again. Please think of the people you interact with. Your purchase is their bread and butter on the table. Remember, no sales mean no money. Love is important, but it doesn’t pay the bills.

Exercise on Vacation

As I said in previous posts, I was in New Brunswick for just about 2 weeks. Now, generally, the two main towns I spent the most time in do not have gyms. The city I was in had gyms, but I was staying outside of town and did not have my own vehicle.

Maybe you can relate to a situation like this. However, just because it’s a vacation doesn’t mean it isn’t important to take care of yourself and your health, so here’s what I decided to do:

I jogged/walked. At my mom’s, the town has a few different loops you can choose to take. At my dad’s, it was either risk running along the highway, or simply do laps around his house, which I more often did. At my favourite place in the world – St. Andrew’s – you can go anywhere on the walking trails or along the roads or along the ocean.

Now, I could have done plyometric workouts, but it was just so easy for me to wake up in the morning, drink down 1L of water, put on some shoes and go. Once I was out, there was no turning back until I was done. Then the rest of the day was mine for doing whatever I felt like.

And the best part? I got my family involved. My mom went with me, my brother went with me, I even took my brother’s dog, Charlie (a golden retriever), with me. People who love you will want to do things that you do just to spend more time with you. Plus, you never know who you are inspiring!

A good jogging and walking partner, and also a great passenger!
(Don’t worry, it’s a tiny town with speed limit of 30. Just hopping from the grandparents to the parents.)

Now That I’ve Got It – A Typical Vegan Day

As many of you know, my original transition to a vegan lifestyle was a little rocky at first. I wasn’t always consistent, I had a few trips that made eating vegan very difficult, and I definitely had some struggles sticking to my Raw Till 4 principles. However, the time has come where I can honestly say I’ve been successfully following a vegan lifestyle and eating on point with the RawTill4 principles for the past couple weeks. Can I just say I’m in love?

(Check out this post to see all the positive things I have to say so far:) Success of Going Vegan (Approx. 2 Weeks Solid)

So here is what I eat in a typical day for those that are wondering.

Waking Up: Water. Get the hydration started.

Breakfast: Watermelon (a whole one), or pulpy pure Orange Juice (about 2-2.5L), or 1 Honeydew, or 1 Cantaloupe, or 6-8 Banana Smoothie (bananas, water, coconut sugar)

Lunch: Banana Smoothie (bananas, water, coconut sugar), or Freelee’s Datorade (20 dates or more blended with water and coconut sugar until milky consistency), or Apples (like 8-10), or Pears (like 8-10), or Stone Fruit (peaches, plums, apricots, etc… eat lots!), or DragonFruit (a few), or Mango (8-10)

Supper: This one varies because it’s cooked! If I’m going out, vegan pizza, vegan burritos, vegan burrito bowls, vegan Indian food (love it!), vegan burger, or this awesome stir fry place we have called Mongolie Grill where you load up a bowl as much as you want from the stir fry bar (veggies galore!), and they do it up on a large open grill, served with your choice of rice or noodles (I always pick coconut rice). If I’m eating in, tonnes of potatoes with lettuce and sweet chilli sauce, or rice and seaweed, or pasta with low sodium pasta sauce.

Snacks: Dates, or bananas, or any fruit I have (strawberries, cherries, blueberries, blackberries, etc…)

Honestly, I’ve never felt so satisfied! I eat as much of the item as I want. The key is that I try not to combine my breakfast and lunch meals (eat multiples of the same fruit), I keep my melons to the morning, and I don’t drink with my meals (or at least I’m 97% at doing this). It’s all about the rate of digestion. Look it up and try it out!

Beating Mind Tendencies

I’m going to be embarrassingly honest with you in this post. We are all human, and we all have our own struggles. But when you choose to do something, you better do it 100%, or you will never be successful. There’s only one major road block that will battle you daily: your brain.

Yesterday, I decided I needed to do this vegan thing 100%. I’ve had too many travelling days in the past 3 weeks where I’ve had little control over what I could eat. Now that I’m home, I’ve gotta buckle down and do this.

My goals for this new lifestyle are as follows:
-Get rid of acne
-Weight Loss
-Feel Better
-Better Digestion
-More Energy

What I’m going to do:
-Work up to 8 hours of sleep per night
-Increase water intake up to 3L a day
-Raw fruit until 4 (some days raw all day)
-Minimize salt intake

So yesterday, when I completely made up my mind, I still started the day off wrong. I had half of a leftover black bean burger in the fridge, and simply because my husband was eating his leftovers and it seemed convenient, I ate mine. Remember, raw food is much better in the morning!

Throughout the day, I did well on the vegan side, but not the raw side. I did eat 6 organic bananas for one meal/snack, and then black bean pasta with marinara and nutritional yeast flakes for lunch. I could tell I definitely didn’t eat enough fruit because then I cooked up some “dessert” of coconut oil, oatmeal, and brown sugar. Sure it tasted good, but that was way too high in fat, and was another cooked meal before 4.

I don’t recall eating too much else throughout the rest of the day, but for a late, late supper, my husband and I went for pizza. I thought the place only had one option for vegan pizza. It was a wood-stove cooked, marinara pizza with fresh tomato marinara, basil leaves, and some rosemary mix. As I was browsing through the menu at all the other delicious pizzas I used to eat there, I noticed a side option of Daiya vegan cheese! My husband jumped right up and asked them to add that to my pizza. I was feeling pretty excited!

Now I’m not sure if it was because my taste buds are reprogrammed to all the junk food I had the past few weeks, but if I could describe the pizza in one word, it would be “fresh”. It literally tasted like tomatoes, oil, and a bit of flavouring. The cheese sadly didn’t do much against the amount of oil I’m sure they put on that pizza. I ate most of it, but took two slices to go. It honestly was all I could do not to reach out and put that parmesan cheese on my pizza, knowing it would improve the flavour so much. I’m holding out on this vegan thing, I can do it!

Now naturally, this morning, I wanted to reach in and grab those two pieces of pizza. But I’ve been watching a lot of Freelee’s videos lately. I’ve started with her oldest ones and I’m working my way to the newest. When you have so much of that information running through your head, I can honestly say it makes a difference.

Now, the embarrassingly honest part is that I was coming up with all kinds of excuses as to why I should eat the pizza. I was thinking about my blog, and how I could just not talk about what I ate today. I was thinking about how I want to eat raw until 4, but I could just go one more day. I’m sure we all know about that “one more day” psychology… And as I sat there making up excuse after excuse, I put my foot down and said no. I need to do this right, right now, not later.

And so I’m happy to say that this morning so far, I’ve juiced 6 oranges, savoured every sip of that fresh orange juice, and in a bit, throughout the day, I’ll be eating pears, a mango, apricots, and nectarines. I would love to get into more mono-meals, but right now this is what I have on hand so it will have to do.

I hope you are all having an awesome weekend!

It’s So Easy When You Feel God Around You… But What About When You Don’t?

I just got back from a large trip with my students. They are in the school’s choir, and we just completed a Fine Arts Trip where we put on three performances. Our students are actually very talented, and were given admiration left and right. Our kids truly are blessed.

But as I was sitting watching this heavenly-voiced choir of my students, and thinking about how perfect and wonderful they sound and are representing their God on stage in front of so many people, a thought struck me that I hadn’t really processed before: When you feel like you are in the presence of God, it is so easy to “behave”… to be “good”. But when my students and other people in the world leave a place where you can undeniably feel God’s presence, and you walk into the world of sin that is so easily seen around you, it all of a sudden becomes way too easy to “misbehave” or to be “bad”.

Why is this? Why can my students, or people in general, be so respectful and so Christ-like in a church or when performing in the name of Christ to hopefully show others the deepest love of all, and yet be so different when they leave that setting? What is it about the world that is so “pulling” on us in the wrong direction? What is it about being at church or in a Christ-promoting atmosphere that makes it so easy for us to do what we know is right?

I wish so much people were able to freeze the moment: freeze the feelings and the thoughts at the time when they were so easily attained and hold onto them when the rest of life comes in. Why aren’t we capable of doing this? Even when I was younger, I can remember going to spiritual retreats and feeling so connected with God. Yet, a few weeks pass and I feel that connection fading. Why is this? Why can’t we be on a “spiritual high” all the time?

I hope my students, and all people of the world, will notice this difference as I have. I hope they will take more seriously and hold on more dearly to those quickly fleeting moments. If we choose to surround ourselves with the biggest influences all the time, maybe we could live our lives a little louder.

What do you guys think? Leave a comment below.

Day 16

Meals:

Breakfast – 2 Minneolas
Lunch – 3 Organic Bananas, 2 Small Bags of Chips
Snack – Chocolate-Covered Almonds (need to find a dairy-less chocolate)
Supper – Vegan Teriyaki Noodle Bowl (lots of veggies!), One Vegan Samosa
Post-Workout – Cappuccino Soy Milk, Remainder of Vegan Teriyaki Noodle Bowl

Workout:

Bench Press
Shoulder BB Press
Close-Grip Bench Press
Incline Bench Press
Cable Flyes
Rope Tricep Pushdowns
Drop-Set Lateral Raises

It was a much more intensive workout than I have been doing the past couple of weeks, but believe it or not, my energy held up! I’m not any weaker nor any less capable than when I was eating my miserable diet. I’m celebrating!

Day 7

I had the laziest morning ever. My husband’s new job is somewhat shift work, so he doesn’t work until 2:30 or 3:30 today. I set my alarm way too early (was thinking I’d be more ambitious this morning), and thus laid in bed for forever. Even so, I was still up, ready, and out the door 10-15 minutes earlier than the average day in the past two weeks. It was awesome!

For breakfast, I ate the last 4 pieces of my Korean potatoes. I totally broke the RawTill4 rule, but I was salivating just thinking of them. They are so good.

As an earlier morning snack (4 pieces of Korean potatoes was not a big meal), I had another ripe mini red banana, and about 6-7 medjool dates.

I did horribly at lunch. I just don’t, for some reason, want to eat the mangos I brought at all! I think I’ve been eating too many mangos and not enough other varieties lately. I gotta fix that. The weird thing is, I want to juice them. I could see myself drinking mango juice, but just can’t be bothered to eat them. So for an awful lunch, I had two snack-size bags of chips, and a can of orange juice. This is not good nutrition…

After school, I quickly went home to do a few things, then went to the more local mall to meet a woman. While I was there, I was so hungry and tempted to buy so much junk! I was even thinking of all the dairy items I could enjoy. My head was NOT in a good place. But I am proud to report, I got a veggie burrito with beans and rice, some tater tots, and an iced tea. I could have done without the tater tots and iced tea, but to be quite honest, by the time I was done eating these, I was satisfied. I didn’t go after any dairy treats that I was thinking of, I didn’t buy that creamy frappuccino with whipped cream that I was thinking of, I simply stuck with my meal. Now that says something!

I did a lot of grocery shopping for my students who were writing PATs the next day, and went to the gym, both without buying anything else to eat. I call this success!

Later at home, I had a lot to do, and a very little amount of time before my husband would be home. So I quickly ate some tortilla chips with salsa, and some popcorn. Total junk food, I know.

I did not eat anything else after this, but simply went to bed.

My Rib is Injured… Again!

Several summers ago, I got sick. The worst part of getting sick for me is always this nasty cough that I get. This particular summer, the cough was so bad that I heard a “snap” following a hard cough. I didn’t notice anything at first though I had a huge feeling that something was terribly wrong. It wasn’t until later that I figured it out.

I jumped in my father’s truck that he had let me borrow while working away. And as soon as I had jumped up into the seat, I felt it. It was a tight feeling at first, but then quickly developed into a bad pain. I could barely turn the steering wheel. In the short 5 minute drive to the trailer I was renting, I knew I had to call my mother to come drive me to the hospital. I had to wait a fair time for her as I was about 45 minutes away, but she quickly came and took me to the hospital.

The hospital was about another 30 minutes from where I was, and the wait at the hospital was about 2 hours. The problem was, by the time I was registered and sitting in the waiting room, I was having a hard time breathing. All I can remember is intense pain and focussing on low and shallow breaths.

We waited for awhile until my mother decided to check where we were on the list, only to find out that we had been bumped down rather than up and the wait from that point was longer than 2 hours. It hurts to breathe but I’m not a serious case? My mother was mad to say the least.

We hopped in the car, and headed to the next hospital an hour away. It was a shorter time than I would have had to wait at the first hospital, and this hospital took me in right away. The only problem was, I had popped a rib muscle, which the doctor promptly told me hurts as much as breaking a rib (crazy pain), and there was nothing they could do except give me Tylenol 3.

Now some people I knew would have gone crazy over Tylenol 3. My mother had a mini freak-out session about how I might become addicted to it, but after telling her everything would be fine, I got my prescription and was on my way.

It was a painful summer. The T3s didn’t touch the pain hardly at all. I always walked around with one hand putting pressure on that rib area. It was awful. Nothing but time was able to heal that wound.

Once again, I was sick a few weeks ago and the cough has mostly gone but not completely. I know my body has suffered a little more than normal (didn’t help when my chiropractor asked what happened except I had been doing nothing but sleeping and sitting on the couch, trying to get better), but my body still seemed in decent shape. I worked out this week and everything seemed good.

Last night was a chest workout, and even though I warmed up and stretched, in the very first exercise (bench press), my rib started to hurt. I can’t remember if it is the same side or not, but I’m pretty sure I popped a stupid rib muscle again. It hurts so bad and I have to put pressure on the area to even try to take a deep breath. My abs are also starting to hurt because of the way I have to modify my body when I need to cough. It’s miserable.

I had just gotten well enough to start back in the gym and this is what happens! Ah!

To be honest, I wasn’t going to complete my workout last night because of the pain. But as I sat in the locker room, looking at my open locker as I was going to change, I got mad, closed and locked my locker, and went out and did the incline dumbbell press. I’m pretty sure it was a very dumb idea. I’m pretty sure I made it worse. I had written down to do 4 sets of 12, but after 3 sets, I knew I was being ridiculous. I shouldn’t be mad, although it was hard to not at least be disappointed.

So here I am with heat packs and taking it easy. I would much rather be in the gym but I’ve done my damage and I should know better. Injuries are something to take serious and it’s very important to know when to quit. So learn from my mistake and save yourself some pain. I’m all about lifting heavy and “sucking-it-up” in most situations, but I felt the pain and knew I should have quit. Next time, I will.