I Threw in the Towel and Regretted It – Healing Journey Day 46

Journal:
This morning was rough. It actually started out good: I woke up early, finished one of the 3 papers that were due today, showered early, got ready on time, and even had enough spare time to make a smoothie for breakfast to take with me! I was so happy.

Then it began. My dog started scratching at the door which is not allowed. So I reprimanded him and went back downstairs to finish making my smoothie. I thought I was all done when no sooner had I finished dumping it from my Magic Bullet blender into my cup had I realized that half of the rubber seal was missing. I hoped that it had just broken from being old and was still intact in my smoothie somewhere, but to no avail. It was gone: disintegrated throughout my smoothie. Ugh. These were my only 3 truly ripe bananas and I don’t even have any spare frozen ones. There went the best smoothie of the day. I had to dump it out. This upset me the most. But then, I went to let my dog in only to find that somehow he unattached his lead again (it’s a chain link so I’m not even sure how he does this) which meant he had run through the muddy, dug-up garden. So I tried to contain him on the mat inside the door. However, the second I turned to grab the towel to wipe him down, he bolted and ran muddy footprints all through the kitchen, down the beige carpet on the stairs, through the hallway, and into my carpeted room. Ugh. What a morning.

You can see the half of the silicone ring that was left… There was no finding it with my knife. It was completely obliterated throughout the whole smoothie.

So after worship at work, I took a few minutes to go to the kitchen and quickly threw another smoothie together. It was simple, spinach and bananas. But I could easily taste the difference of bananas that are not as ripe as the last ones I sampled. And to top it all off, I threw out the equivalent of a banana and a half because they so badly bruised that they were literal mush. But, I had a green smoothie and that’s what day it is today. Three days of green smoothies will hopefully only improve from here.

I didn’t get another chance to make another smoothie until late in the afternoon. I was hungry and couldn’t wait to make a smoothie. I quickly went through my container of spinach, only to find out that an odd amount of moisture had somehow gotten in the container and started to make some of the spinach go bad. So I picked out all the good spinach that I could. Then I peeled the rest of my bananas, only having to throw one out. I also had a bag of peaches that I had been looking forward to. Come to find out, I had to throw out two of the peaches and the others were going bad quickly. However, I saved what I could, threw it in the blender, and blended it up. Words cannot express how terrible this smoothie tasted. Whether it was because of the deteriorating peaches, spinach I saved from the wilting ones, or the definitely unripe bananas, I can only guess they all were a factor. I honestly tried to choke it down. I mean, I discovered I hated rosemary a few days ago and still managed to choke it down. But this… this was awful. Words cannot describe. And as hard as I tried, I couldn’t do it. So there went some more money down the drain. Needless to say, I was frustrated.

So, out of frustration, I left school starving, came home, grabbed an English cucumber and the Daiya ranch dressing that I had left, and ate it down quickly. I then went to get a vegan burrito. Sure, it tasted ok. But to be honest, I would have preferred just a side of rice and beans. My taste has definitely gone more simplistic. But the way I felt while eating this burrito was not worth it. My stomach immediately felt bloated and full. I could not finish the burrito. I may eat that volume of raw foods, but definitely not of cooked foods. My body is not used to it. Ugh. This was a big mistake. If I’m going to rebel in frustration, it NEEDS to be with unplanned raw foods. Though I must confess, a burrito with beans, rice, pico de gallo and salsa is not a huge splurge. In my old days, it would have been all the junk food I could have gotten my hands on. But even so, this is not what I like my body to feel like; I’m missing the raw foods.

I came back home and began working on my sub plans for tomorrow. I’m going to a convention tomorrow and there was a lot of work that needed to be done ahead of time. I was able to get my work done, but my mind was continuing to think about how much better I felt eating raw foods. I made up my mind to be back on track tomorrow, and so that meant a very late drive to two grocery stores to try and find the most ripe bananas I could. Here’s to attempting my 3 days of green smoothies again tomorrow!

Since I didn’t go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, I ended up grabbing what food I had around me. This included an apple cinnamon fig bar and another English cucumber with Daiya ranch and green Sriracha. What a messed up day of eating.

Tomorrow we are back on track with some mostly ripened bananas, kale and spinach. Let’s do it!

Review of Symptoms:
-Acne is better along my neck line, but worse on my cheeks.
-Digestion is so-so.
-Hair is actually doing alright. Washed with only water today.
-Energy is good.

Weight at the end of the day = 171.2 lbs (up 3.2 lbs from yesterday)

Total Calories = 2350 (68% carbs, 25% fat, 7% protein… totally blew my macros today…)

I Was Invited Over… – Healing Journey Day 35

Journal:
It felt so nice to sleep in today. I was actually surprised how late I slept in, but did not regret it at all. Since I only have one of my dogs living with me at the moment, I’ve been letting him sleep on the bed with me and every morning, I wake up to him laying directly beside me, head on the pillow and everything! He’s such a cuddle bug. I love him.

So, today was pretty much another write-off day. I had been invited over for supper to a colleague’s house and because I’m only eating fruit at the moment, I knew that there wouldn’t be anything there for me to eat in the way of fruit. However, I did find out they were having haystacks which meant there would be veggies.

If you don’t know what haystacks are, they are a build-your-own dish. You start with some type of chips (usually corn chips) then put beans or chilli on top of the chips, usually some type of cheese on top of the beans, then top with all your favourite veggies (cucumber, tomatoes, olives, lettuce, onions, etc…). The final topping is your sauce and depending on who you are, you may put ranch, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, ketchup, etc. There are many, many different combinations you can do and it is all up to your preference.

For breakfast, I got out my new, electric orange juicer that my husband bought for me. I only had three oranges, but it was enough to make me fall in love with this electric machine. No more hand-grinding for me! Along with the orange juice, I mixed in some organic blueberry juice. Oh my goodness! I wish I could tell you how good it was. It was… a dream. I could have drank that all day! Next time, I need more oranges!

Following my little breakfast, I washed up the dishes, folded a load of laundry, got ready and went to the gym. We were having a bit of a snowstorm and I found out later that between the hours of 11:00 and 4:00, there were 157 accidents in the city. I’m thankful to say that though I saw one accident and watched a truck and trailer slide into the curb and bounce off of it, I was safe and was not a part of that statistic. It was a bit of a mess on the roads.

At the gym, I had a really good workout. I did some squats, chest press, hammer curls, pullovers, EZ-Curl bar bench press, and 3 ab exercises. I then finished up with 30 minutes on the elliptical. I came out of that gym sore and tired but feeling accomplished.

After I got home, I decided that I should use up some of the vegetables that are going ripe too fast since I’m already not going to be eating all fruit later. If I’m going to break my plan, then it needs to be within the same day so I’m not breaking my plan every day.

For a late lunch, I washed and chopped up a whole head of butter leaf lettuce. I then sliced up half of an English cucumber to put in it. I cut up two Roma tomatoes and threw them in. I took a whole head of broccoli, chopped it up and put it in. I also had some raw, fermented beets and their greens in my fridge so I put a couple tablespoons of that in. I then mashed a whole avocado, a tablespoon of raw sesame tahini, some lemon juice and a bit of garlic powder in a bowl to use as the dressing. Though the first few bites were good, it quickly got very bland. I then remembered the BeeFree Honee I had downstairs (honey made from apples, no bees required to do the work). I put a splash of that in and it was ok, but still didn’t do the trick. So I did a dangerous thing (out of control) and found some organic, green sriracha that I put in as well as some Earth Island ranch that I had. It did make it a bit better, but honestly, I shouldn’t have put all that in. I simply sat, looking at my salad, and thinking of how much fat was in this salad. This was definitely not at the same macro levels that I normally eat at and it was honestly making me nervous.

I tried my best to eat the whole salad, but I just couldn’t do it. It was more volume than I’m used to, not to mention all the fat that was in it. Before I hit the stage where I eat fruit all day and a supper salad, I need to figure out how to make a good, raw, fruit and veggies only dressing.

After I ate, I had to quickly shower and get ready to go. By this time, it had stopped snowing and the temperature was half a degree above zero celsius meaning that things were a little slushy and not frozen, so driving was relatively safe.

We honestly had an awesome night at my colleague’s. It was a night of relaxation and laughter.

I made myself a small haystack because I was still a little full from the salad. I used only a few of the small, round, Tostito corn chips (I didn’t want that nasty over-salted feeling again), some vegan chilli, some soy cheese that my hostess had bought just for me (if it wasn’t just for me, I would have left this off to be honest), tomatoes, lettuce, corn, an olive, cucumber, pickles, and salsa. I know it sounds like a lot, but when you consider that I’m only putting about a tablespoon of each topping on the half cup of chilli that I ate, it actually wasn’t that much. Needless to say, I was STUFFED.

When we finally came home, I didn’t do much but go to bed. I was really hoping my digestion would kick in, but it didn’t. It takes so much longer to digest cooked foods – particularly processed foods – than it does the fresh fruits and vegetables. I was almost sure, with all the fat I ate today, that I would be up another 8 pounds like that one day I went up 8 pounds from eating cooked foods. However, I was ecstatic to find what I stated below. To find out how much this day set me back, keep scrolling down!

Review of Symptoms:
-Tongue is clear. 🙂
-Acne still bad; almost thinking it’s worse today.
-First day in a long time feeling stuffed.
-Digestion is delayed… a cooked food/processed food result.
-Hair is not so greasy (will try to explain this finally tomorrow).
-Noticed that my thighs have shrunk A LOT! I was getting to the point I hated my legs and didn’t even want my husband to see them. I couldn’t even look in a mirror with shorts on in the summer or I would take them back off. Now? I am LOVING my legs again! Eating naturally has made such a difference!

Weight at the end of the day = 172.2 lbs (only up one pound from yesterday!!!)

Total Calories = 2051 (58% carbs, 36% fat, 6% protein… way too much fat!)

Smoothie Day – Healing Journey Day 31

Journal:
I slept really good last night. However, morning still came too soon. I wasn’t really looking forward to today anyway because it meant I was flying back home in the evening. Oh well.

Because I had a blender in my hotel room, I was able to make datorade for breakfast (blended dates with water). Seriously, I love datorade but this was just not as good. I really think these deglet dates are not the sweet quality that I usually get in Canada. I’m looking forward to getting back to those dates.

Immediately after breakfast, we got ready and checked out of our hotel. We were on the hunt for a new winter jacket. However, most stores had hardly anything out as the weather was still t-shirt weather in Colorado, unlike the snow that had already fallen in Canada. So, I ended up jacket-less. However, my husband did buy me an electric orange juicer that I’m so excited about and some books Barnes & Noble. Educators get a discount and even though I’m a Canadian teacher, they still allowed me to sign up for their education program. So if you’re in education and you haven’t signed up for their education program, do it!

Now, lunch time came and I made the decision to eat one last time with my husband before I left. He even continuously offered to take me to the smoothie place, but I told him it will be awhile before I see him again, so I just wanted to sit down with him and eat one last time. So we went to the healthy, stir-fry place again: Genghis Grill.

You know, the difference of how I feel eating raw foods versus cooked foods is amazing. After eating the cooked foods, I felt like sleeping, with a heavy stomach again, and even a bit of that pre-headache feeling. It bizarres me. This is something I would expect from eating junk foods, but not cooked foods. My body is definitely ready to go back to all raw foods, particularly fruit for awhile.

For the last little bit of my time before my flight, my husband and I just sat and talked. I was flying from a smaller airport so it was easy to monitor the security lines and how long it would take.

Part of the reason I agreed to eat stir-fry was that I was only supposed to have 20 minutes between landing and flying again in Denver. It’s not a massive airport, but it is quite large and is often busy. So that meant that there would most likely not be any time at all to go to that smoothie place I had seen coming through last time. However, my flight arrived almost 20 minutes early and thankfully, that had given me enough time to go to the smoothie place.

The smoothie place was called Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli (I know… strange sounding place to find all-fruit smoothies). They had four smoothie options, but I chose the Summer Splash smoothie. In it, there was apple juice, strawberries, bananas and peaches. Oh my goodness. It was so good! I highly recommend it!

And that concluded my food for the day. I left a very hot, nice, t-shirt weather state and landed in a snow-covered, freezing province. By the time I landed, went through immigration and customs, retrieved my bag, waited for my ride and drove home, it was 11:00. I didn’t have my planning done for the next day (our flight had a tailwind again and we arrived 30 minutes early… not even long enough in the air to finish a movie! But, it was late and I needed sleep because as always, work comes early. So to bed I went, leaving tomorrow as an unpacking, cleaning, getting situated day.

Review of Symptoms:
-Tongue lightly coated.
-Digestion not as great (too much cooked food).
-Cooked food left me feeling heavy and tired with a touch of pre-headache.

Weight at the end of the day = 176.6 lbs (down 1.4 lbs from two days ago)

Total Calories = approx. 1784 (84% carbs, 8% fat, 8% protein… awesome macro ratio!)

Multi-Juice Feasting – Healing Journey Day 22

Journal:
I was kind of torn about today. I was excited to have something other than just one fruit per day, and yet I remember how sweet and unpleasant my last juice fasting experience became. Regardless, there is one extra component that made me excited about this second juice feasting and it was this: I do not have to stick to one type of juice, so long as the juices are only made from fruit. Woohoo! My first freedom in mixing food sources. Here we go!

So today was an overall lazy day. I had gotten up and was getting ready to go to a church I had been invited to, only to look up the directions and realize that church service was going to be finished when I would arrive there and Sabbath School would be beginning. This is a newer church plant and they have decided to reverse the schedule which is actually intriguing. But it meant that I didn’t make it to church today. So instead, I rested, which I won’t complain about. My body was still feeling the stress.

Towards the evening, I started unpacking more of my stuff. It’s so nice to actually have clothes in my closet, though I’ve really come to realize that I can easily live with the same outfits repeated all of the time. It meant that I was doing laundry twice a week, but at least I had no debates over what clothes I would wear each day. It actually saved time! I’m telling ya’ll, minimalism is something you should look into! It’s so much better than it sounds.

So in preparation for this juice feast, I had bought a juice that I used to LOVE drinking. It was an organic, orange-mango juice. Oh my… so delicious. Though I did thoroughly enjoy it, I didn’t quite enjoy it to the maximum like I used to. However, it didn’t lessen the fact that I enjoyed it much more than the juices I had before. I actually consumed the most calories I have had yet on this journey because of it. And when I ran out of it, I went back to the juices left over from the last juice feasting as I had clearly bought more than I actually drank. I selected a grape juice to finish the day.

Now, the grape juice was good, but I couldn’t hardly drink any of it. I ended up drinking close to half a litre, but honestly could not fathom drinking more. My tongue hasn’t quite been coated as heavily white as last time I was drinking juice, but my whole mouth is coated with a thicker saliva that is off-putting and it’s ruining the purity of everything. Not to mention, that sensitivity to sweetness is still in effect which has me thinking this might be a long juice feast, even though I’m only doing it for 3 days. I really can’t wait to be able to have both fruit and veggies. It’s so nice to have different flavours especially when I’m not in the best fruit season at all. I can’t wait to have more options.

Review of Symptoms:
-Acne is the same… going to really start watching how often I touch my face to see if that makes a difference.
-Elimination is FANTASTIC! If you ever need a cleansing day, do a day of juicing. It works wonderfully.
-Hair is not as greasy as it would be by this point. So awesome. I will write more about this later.
-Energy is fine, though still recovering from too much stress lately.
-Overbearing sweetness tastebuds are still around!

Weight at the end of the day = 174.6 lbs (still the same, even after the most calories to date!)

Total Calories = 2188 (99% carbs, 0% fat, 1% protein)

 

Multi-Day Mono-Juice Feasting – Healing Journey Day 6

Journal:
Guys/Gals, I made it! I honestly can’t believe I made it through 5 days without any type of food. Oh my goodness. I was so scared of doing this journey, not sure how I would be able to bypass situations where food would be all around me, or with my students even opening their food for them. But I did it and never even once even picked up a piece of food. I am so proud of how far I’ve made it on this journey.

Now last night, I did manage to sleep pretty much through the night, only waking up once instead of multiple times like the night before. And once again, I woke up feeling like a normal human being. The stomach pain was gone and I was able to get out of bed with no problems this morning! I went straight upstairs and got my first apple juice. 🙂 Yes, for 3 days I will be drinking apple juice. I have always found apple juice easy on my stomach so I figured this would be a great beginning juice for my body.

I, of course, was still a little worried about how my body would react to the apple juice. Though after the first few sips and only a very minor uncomfortable feeling from my stomach, I knew it was going to do down well. Oh how happy I was! The taste of apple juice was so amazing, although I noticed there was a slight off-taste. Come to find out, my tongue was covered in white. I had heard about this happening from dry and water fasters but had not noticed it until today. Yuck. Thankfully, it does come off with either scraping or rigorous tongue brushing. I have a cleaning at the dentist tomorrow and I can only imagine what they would have said to me with a tongue like that!

A question I have been asked is what is the difference between juice “fasting” and “juice feasting.” Juice fasting is where you are on a specified amount of juices (specific calories). Juice feasting is where you are still limited to only juice, but you do not have to stick with a certain caloric guideline. Now of course, you do not want to turn it into juice binging where you are over consuming more than your body wants, but if you know your body well, you should be able to tell when you are really hungry or not. I am choosing to juice feast because I do not believe in limiting calories. Yes, I just spent 5 days eliminating calories from my diet, but that was to fast. If you make a decision to fast, then you are usually doing it for a specific reason outside of weight loss such as for religious reasons or body healing. Since I am spanning the healing spectrum, mine was to experience the healing aspects though I was also intrigued through my walk in Christianity to partake in such a journey because God calls us to take care of our bodies and this journey is hopefully going to help me see how to get my body to be the best that it can be. Plus, as I mentioned in my introduction to this journey, it was also an experiment to see if we can erase the hold that food has on us. Yes, in the long run we depend on food to live; we have to. But instead of not being able to pass by food that is not good for us and simply having intense cravings or even those that can’t help but binge on food because they can’t seem to stop, that is another part of my journey. And so far, I am beating all of those typical situations and for that reason, this journey has been good.

So I managed to actually have a pretty good day at school. Though I seemed to have to talk to my class a little more than normal, one of my toughest students actually had one of his best days today so that alone was phenomenal. And how did the juice treat me? So good. I didn’t feel like falling asleep all the time; I actually did not plan my walks. I didn’t feel like sitting down all the time; I felt confident when I walked. I just felt so much better.

Do I still feel like eating food? You know, my thoughts towards food have decreased a lot. Sure, the nice croissant (I have a student that has been bringing croissants to school everyday) does sound nice, but just having some sweet, delicious, pure apple juice to sip on all day is absolutely amazing. My body can definitely tell that the energy is coming back.

Is my apple juice fresh pressed? Unfortunately no. In fact, the apple juice I have for today and tomorrow are not even organic. I did my best to find juices that were organic, but the price difference is astronomical. So you will see that most of my juices are organic, but today’s and tomorrow’s are not. The one qualification for my juices were that they had to only include one ingredient: the ingredient being whichever fruit whose juice I was drinking that day.

So, I’m going to hand out a TMI WARNING again because this next part is not so pretty. I will keep it to one paragraph. I don’t really enjoy sharing these parts because they can be considered “gross”, but incase someone does decide to embark on this journey or one similar, I want you to be prepared for things that can happen. If you read my day 5 entry, you will notice that I couldn’t “eliminate”. Well, to my horror/surprise, I don’t even have to try today. Lo’ and behold, it’s essentially a watery liquid. Yes, I know it’s graphic. It did go back to normal by the end of the day, but the first half of the day was the adjustment period. My stomach “gurgled” more than I think it has ever gurgled before with the adjustment of an “energy source” coming back into its system. It made today a little trickier since I’m obviously working but I managed to take a tiny break away from the classroom whenever I needed it so it worked out alright.

So after I came home, I actually did not feel tired at all! However, I did lay down to watch some YouTube again, and noticed the beginning of that awful acid reflux/heartburn feeling again. Thankfully, it didn’t really turn into anything.

I did get up and go to the gym, although I kind of wondered afterwards if I should have done the cardio or not. I did 30 minutes of easy stationary cycling. The reason being, remember that clenching of muscles feeling I described previously? I had that feeling bad tonight. The best way I can think to describe it is to imagine doing a crunch with all of your ab muscles straining, then someone punching you. But instead of being repetitious, it was a continuous state. Now that is a feeling for the books but one that I hope goes away soon. Yes, I did try bending backwards to stretch my abs and to see if my stomach muscles would pull, but they didn’t meaning they weren’t actually always engaged. For some reason that was just the feeling I was having.

For the first time all week, I actually felt tired. I tried to stay up past 11, but my eyes were fighting me. As much as I still wanted to do things, this actually made me happy because instead of me having to decide when I go to bed because I’m not “that tired”, my body actually was acting normal and demanded sleep. This I can appreciate.

Review of Symptoms:
Acne is worse and yet the same. The pimples are still more pale than before, but I have tiny bumps all over my face. I’m not appreciating it. But I have also heard of this happening as a detox byproduct. There is a reason why the saying goes: It will get worse before it gets better. My tongue was COVERED in a white substance. Again, this is something I’ve heard is associated with detox so tongue scraping is now something I have to do. I haven’t reported this in awhile, but my skin still stays red more easily than before. My hair is still less greasy than it normally would be by this point. Had more energy, feeling stronger. Internal “movement” was much easier today. Heartburn/acid reflux was only the most minimal while laying down this evening. I had a constant feeling of ab muscle clenching while a dull ache of a punch to the stomach at the same time that lasted throughout the evening. My body actually demanded sleep around 11:00 pm which is awesome!

Weight at the end of the day = 180.8 lbs (0 lbs down in 24 hours, total of 8 lbs down in 5 days)

Total Calories = 1811.2 (99% carbs, 1% protein, 0% fat)

When “Pushiness” Goes Too Far…

I really dislike pushy people. This is part of the reason I hate car shopping. I don’t mind going to look at cars at night, and actually, that’s why my husband compromised and did with me this last time. I fear having a pushy salesman come out who only sees me as a dollar sign. I would rather take my time, make sure that I am putting my investment into a vehicle I actually like rather than making a rash decision and end up hating my vehicle.

Now, I’m not saying that all salesmen are pushy. My very first car purchase was wonderful. I don’t remember the guy being pushy at all, even after presenting him an odd situation. It was my first car, and I didn’t know how to drive a standard. I was terrified of test driving a vehicle, so my boyfriend (now husband) did the test driving with me while I was a passenger. The difference between standard and automatic was a world of difference and I knew I wanted a manual. However, I couldn’t drive it. But, I was determined to. So I bought the manual, and my future husband drove it home.

So many nights I spent on the back roads of town, conquering that first gear. Everything else seemed easy, but that first gear threw me for a few loops. Eventually, after a few stalls and squealing tires later, I fell all the more in love with my vehicle, seeing it as more of an extension of myself when driving. It couldn’t have been a better purchase from a very calm salesman who was ready to do what I needed but not ready to just push a vehicle on me, to a financial advisor who was up front and honest, even though he was profiting from selling me the vehicle. He told me right away that vehicles are the worst investment anybody could make because they deteriorate and are hardly ever worth what you pay. The honesty of this place was astounding and they will forever have my respect. The salesman even sent me a card later thanking me for my purchase and adding a P.S. of “Hope you’ve learned to drive your vehicle!” Those are the kind of people I like dealing with.

In my next car purchases, I’ve said no as soon as the salesman got pushy. I don’t live in the same place where I had bought my first vehicle or else I would have bought from there again.

So to avoid speaking about cars the whole time, I’m going to go through something I experienced a few weeks ago when I went to try a new gym.

I have a student who is interested in working out and has been asking me for a workout plan. So in order to help her, I decided I would go check out her gym to see what was available. I also planned on working out there that night since I was already going to be there instead of going to my own gym. It was a bit out of my way, but I didn’t mind doing it to help her.

I was more than prepared to pay for the session. However, I saw an ad that advertised a free gym trial. So I filled out the information, got a call, and arranged a time to come in. It required meeting a manager, getting a tour, filling out paperwork, etc. I also saw an ad with their ad that stated their gym fees were $15 biweekly. It was quite a bit cheaper than my own gym, so this kind of piqued my interest. I actually was interested in learning about these low fees, especially now that I’m here on my own and this is a female-only gym. I was open to the suggestions.

The whole walk-through, discussion, etc. went well. But it came down to the end when she began throwing membership papers in front of me that I politely told her that I am not comfortable with signing up that night. I explained to her that I wanted to check out the gym for myself, to experience what it is like being there in the atmosphere with the other members, with the equipment – to actually use it – and to really be part of the atmosphere. When it comes to a gym, this is crucial to me. I have been working out regularly for years, so I don’t want to put myself in a gym where I don’t feel “pushed” or as “free” to do what I want, especially if you don’t like some of the equipment or how it is set up, which you truly can only experience by doing your workout and feeling the flow of the design.

She did not take that explanation well. She immediately started asking me why I was changing my mind (which I hadn’t), why I possibly couldn’t want to change right away, then started asking what she had done wrong (this could have been a good self-assessment question had she not presented it the way she did), and wouldn’t even let me workout that day. I even explained to her that I wasn’t sure what I was doing this summer (two months away, my gym requires one month’s notice for cancellation) so I would have to discuss it with my husband. But the one thing that I will never forget, aside from her tone and change of discussion, was her face. She had been so smiley and happy to show me around the gym. But the minute I said I wasn’t prepared to sign papers that night, her whole countenance changed. I was given much more pressure, and even the cold shoulder towards the end. As I said, she wouldn’t even allow me to workout at the gym that night. She wrote me a card for a specific time the next day (not even a one day pass to go at my convenience) and made sure I had to see her when I got there. That’s when I knew that I wasn’t coming back.

Now, I know they make their livelihood out of people joining the gym. I would not be upset with her at all for being a little upset I wouldn’t sign up that night. But there is a huge difference between being a little upset and completely being rude in a controlling manner. I did not feel welcome as a visiting person.

Now, some people may feel like I’m just complaining and whining about something that was no big deal, but that is not my intent for I know there are many people who struggle with this. There are people who absolutely hate pushy people, and there are people who need to also work on their person skills. In this case, it is excellent to showcase all the benefits of the gym and be excited for another member. But if the visitor clearly has good reasons for wanting to check the gym out and get a feel for it first, then the manager should be more than welcoming. After all, they do advertise a free trial. The person should feel like they are definitely welcome to use the facility, to get a feel for it, and without the pressure of signing up right away, especially before even being allowed to try the gym for themselves. A position in customer service (any career where you deal with customers) is one in which good training needs to take place. I say this, because I deal with children, adults, teenagers, and every age in between every day. I converse with all personalities, teach all personalities, and have to maintain the healthiest relationships possible across the board. It takes some learning, but words, facial expressions, etc. need to be watched and guarded by self in order to build those great relationships. And this is no different in any other career.

So if you are in customer service, I pray that you will take care to be attentive to yourself and how you are reacting to others. Just because someone else is not doing what you want, doesn’t mean you have to be rude in exchange. Be the respectable person so that nobody will have anything legitimate to complain about. And if you are the type of person who gets turned off by pushy people, do your best to understand their motives, but also know it’s ok and you are not alone. Seek to find another person for there are definitely less pushy people out there.

Vegan Journey Update

Ok. I have LOVED seeing everyone’s vegan success posts! I fully believe in a vegan lifestyle and have taken much backlash for it. I began my vegan journey in June/July 2015. I had a week’s transition where I was battling cravings for cheese. Who knew I’d hit severe withdrawal over a food.

At first, I was leaning towards a more RawTill4 version, but found also that I had addictions to cooked lunches. So then it was more of a raw breakfast with cooked meals afterwards.

I did alright until the fall when I started teaching again and began buying a lot more pre-made vegan foods and trying more vegan junk foods.

Prior to all of this, I had won a fitness competition at my lowest weight of 129 lbs (I believe… my husband seems to remember a different number in the 120 lbs range). I won free coaching for two months and did fairly well continuing to stick with an extremely low carb, higher protein and moderate fat meal plan but my results stalled and as I started avoiding meals just so I didn’t have to keep eating the same things, my results started to reverse.

I found a group on FB with a coach that designed his own workout plans and diet. Many people have seen results on his plans, so I decided to enter this challenge as well. About half way through, I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being unhappy with my food. I was tired of always restricting. And when I finally asked the coach why I was no longer losing weight, he told me to cut my calories down even more. I think I thought about it for two days before deciding that I’m not doing this anymore and I’m going to “intuitive eat”.

Now, my intuitive eating was not a binging session. I don’t think I’ve ever binged. But I did start eating whatever foods I wanted with no regards to macro counting. Obviously this included more cheese for my cheese addiction. Needless to say, I started gaining weight.

After awhile, I started being so unhappy because I knew something was wrong and that there had to be something better for our bodies than this. With my dissatisfaction, and being vegetarian for many years before entering the bodybuilding/fitness world, I started looking at being vegan. I researched for days, watched YouTube videos by the hour. I finally had found what made sense to me. Hence my journey began in June/July 2015.

Though I’ve enjoyed the success stories, I’ve always wondered what was going wrong. When I first switched to vegan, my weight slowly kept creeping up until I hit my all-time high over Christmas at 196 lbs. Sure, it’s easy to say you shouldn’t worry about the weight, but from winning my competition at 129 lbs to gaining up to 196 lbs, I’m sure you can understand the mental troubles this can give you, especially when your husband thinks your current diet is to blame.

Deep in my heart, I knew this was the right way to eat so I didn’t give up. Sure, I indulged a little in junk over Christmas Break since we went on vacation to Colorado, but I never quit being vegan, and at home I have been cooking more than before and eating as much whole, plant-based foods as possible.

Since Christmas, I just wanted to see the scale move down into the 180s. That’s not a huge fat loss, but enough for some confirmation. Since Christmas, I have found my all-time best routine. I get up at 4 am, go to the gym, do my workout fasted: usually 1 to 1 1/2 hours of weights and 30 minutes of cardio, come home, eat breakfast because I’m usually starving after the gym, take care of my dogs, get stuff ready for my husband, get myself ready for work, go to work (elementary teacher), come home or stay at work after and do what needs to be done. It honestly gives me so much energy for the day. Yes, physically I have felt a difference for sure! No more coffee, never tired except for at night, no stomach issues, etc.

Yesterday in the gym, while doing lateral raises, I thought I noticed a slight difference in my chest/shoulder area. My shoulder muscles are starting to show again like they used to (though there is still fat covering them that needs to go). Then when I was doing shrugs, I noticed the top half of my stomach area (chest down to “love handles”) is actually slim (I carry all my fat in my bottom part of my stomach). For once, I could see/vision myself athletically fit and not stare at myself with criticism. However, I will say that until this point, the scale had barely moved (though I do not check everyday).

This morning, and yes, I know the scale isn’t everything, but what I saw was confirmed. I am back on the 180s side at 189! 7 1/2 months of keeping faith that this is the right way, and I’m finally starting to see results and not just feel them. I am so happy!

I just wanted to share my story for anyone else who may get frustrated that their weight is not coming off. Being active and eating whole foods is honestly the best way to go. You will feel the results first, and that’s what counts. The physical results will come later. I haven’t had a blood test done yet to make sure all of my levels are ok, but that is on my to-do list. All I know is I feel great, my strength and endurance have actually increased in the gym, and I will never eat/live another way again!

Organic vs. Non-Organic

Take a good look at those cucumbers. Do you see a difference?

I wish my camera was a little better. If it was, you would see that the top one is smoother and much more dull than the bottom one. The bottom one has many more ridges and is less “perfect”. Can you guess which one is the organic one?

If you guessed the bottom one, you are correct.

I love cucumbers. More specifically, I love cucumber sandwiches (it’s my thing lately). Of course my motto is to always buy organic when you can, but at $5 per cucumber, it becomes very expensive.

The top cucumber came in a bunch of 3 that I got at Costco. Normally, their produce is pretty good. However, I do wish they would bring in more organic items. Regardless, I figured this pack of 3 English cucumbers would hold me over until my next organic order. Let’s just say, I have 2 1/2 of those cucumbers still in my fridge weeks later.

Why you may ask? Because they are way too wrong.

Wrong in the sense that the texture is different. Wrong in the sense that the flavour is off. Wrong in the sense that I can tell this is nowhere near a good, organic cucumber.

It makes you wonder… if there is this much difference in an organic and a non-organic cucumber, then what is really going on with our food?

I may dive into this issue a little later, but I can tell you friends, it’s not good. Scientists need to stop playing with our food and we need to buy as much organic as possible.

From now on, the only cucumbers I will be consuming are the expensive, but much healthier and natural option in the bottom of that picture.

Why Vegans Are Hostile Towards “Plant-Based” Eaters

Growing up, you are always taught the basics: people who eat meat were the norm, people who didn’t eat meat were vegetarians, and people who didn’t eat any animal products were vegans. Those are/were the levels of people with what they ate. However, this classification has caused strife in the world.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen arguments about what vegans are and what they are not. That’s when I was introduced to a new classification: Plant-Based.

So from everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve read, and everything I’ve heard, I can safely tell you the difference between a plant-based eater and a vegan person.

A plant-based person is someone who avoids all animal products (sounds like a vegan, right?). However, plant-based eaters are not necessarily doing it for animal rights. They are not necessarily avoiding meat because they see inhumanely slaughtered animals in every piece of steak. They don’t see cows beaten with metal pipes because they are not cooperating with the milking machines when they see milk in the stores. Plant-based eaters are usually eating that way for health reasons and are often much less judgemental of others who continue to eat meat.

Vegans are all of the above, avoiding animal products like the plague, because they see the suffering in the animal products. They hear the squeals of pigs in fear and suffering when you bite into a sausage. They see the knife slitting a cows alive throat when you bite into your burger. They see the tears of terrified animals when their flesh is being used. And because of this violent world that most people do not even know about, vegans take on the role of educating the world and fighting for the rights of these living creatures who cannot speak for themselves. Vegans could NEVER make the mistake of eating an animal product nor even using something made from animals so long as they can help it. It’s just not something they can bring themselves to do in the name of suffering animals. Yes, sometimes vegans come across harsh, maybe even too hard sometimes pushing people away from veganism rather than drawing them to it, but it does come from their passion and their inability to understand why you don’t care for these amazing creatures who are suffering needlessly for your meals. It would be the same for someone who’s anti-abortion not being able to understand how someone could take an innocent life. It’s the exact same thing – both species unable to speak out for themselves, both lives being needlessly ended.

So where does the hostility come between vegans and the plant-based people? Well, it comes when the plant-based eaters claim to be vegans, and then tell people it’s still ok to have some animal products. Nothing angers vegans more than people pretending to be for their cause, claiming to be under the same category, yet supporting something they don’t support at all, something they in fact go out of their way to fight against. So obviously, this makes them very upset and causes them often to lash out against those that are ruining their name. It is very common for vegans to ask these “fake vegans” to change their name to plant-based, and often times a fight will begin before plant-based people finally find out what the vegan movement is truly about.

Do I believe in acting so hostile towards each other? No. I’m pretty sure these “fake vegans” don’t even know that there is a difference between claiming to be vegan and being plant-based. I really think it comes down to education because like I said, I grew up believing that eating no animal products makes you a vegan, so I can easily see how others would think that too.

Hopefully this helps some of you see the difference between the two classifications. I know it’s a bit confusing and may even seem a bit ridiculous to some people, but for anyone who has a true passion for something, you can probably understand how it feels when somebody seems to undo the work you’ve put so much effort into. Let’s just remember to educate and not hate. Peace out!

Not Being Afraid to Stand Out

I’m going to be honest again… I messed up. I knowingly ate some dairy last week. And I really have nobody to blame but myself, and that’s why I’m writing this blog post.

You see, it was my first outing with colleagues since going vegan. We were going out for supper because it was going to be a late night at work. I could have modified what I ordered, but I didn’t. And why might you ask? Because I didn’t want to appear as that person who makes 50 different modifications to their food and is a pain to take anywhere. I didn’t want to be that difficult person. And though what I chose had very little dairy, it still had it. However, it did come back to bite me.

While we were eating, the discussion, which never has gone to diets and healthy eating the years we’ve gone out before, suddenly took that turn. One colleague is doing a no sugar thing, another is doing no carbs aside from veggies after 5 (not entirely supportive of either). And yet, here I am, supposedly way more into health and fitness than anyone else, and I’m going back on what I said. I should have stuck up for myself and just ordered with my modifications because here’s the deal: I’m not making a difference for what I believe in if I’m not even living it myself. There, I said it. I was phoney. My back was weak when it came to stand up. And I regret it.

I went through this as a teenager with Christianity. Not that it was even just Christianity, but I worship on the Sabbath – Saturday. Talk about going against most of the world! But I got over it, and I got better. It’s not perfect, but it’s something I can continue to work on. Veganism is going to be the same way. I have to get stronger, and I will get stronger. But no more losing opportunities to stand out and make a difference like I did that day. From now on, whether Christianity or veganism or whatever the cause may be, I’m standing out and standing strong! Who’s with me?