Be The Example!

This past weekend, I was invited to a little girl’s birthday party. This little girl is the daughter of a very good friend of mine, so I was invited to the family dinner party as an honourable “Aunty.” Of course …

When “Pushiness” Goes Too Far…

I really dislike pushy people. This is part of the reason I hate car shopping. I don’t mind going to look at cars at night, and actually, that’s why my husband compromised and did with me this last time. I fear having a pushy salesman come out who only sees me as a dollar sign. I would rather take my time, make sure that I am putting my investment into a vehicle I actually like rather than making a rash decision and end up hating my vehicle.

Now, I’m not saying that all salesmen are pushy. My very first car purchase was wonderful. I don’t remember the guy being pushy at all, even after presenting him an odd situation. It was my first car, and I didn’t know how to drive a standard. I was terrified of test driving a vehicle, so my boyfriend (now husband) did the test driving with me while I was a passenger. The difference between standard and automatic was a world of difference and I knew I wanted a manual. However, I couldn’t drive it. But, I was determined to. So I bought the manual, and my future husband drove it home.

So many nights I spent on the back roads of town, conquering that first gear. Everything else seemed easy, but that first gear threw me for a few loops. Eventually, after a few stalls and squealing tires later, I fell all the more in love with my vehicle, seeing it as more of an extension of myself when driving. It couldn’t have been a better purchase from a very calm salesman who was ready to do what I needed but not ready to just push a vehicle on me, to a financial advisor who was up front and honest, even though he was profiting from selling me the vehicle. He told me right away that vehicles are the worst investment anybody could make because they deteriorate and are hardly ever worth what you pay. The honesty of this place was astounding and they will forever have my respect. The salesman even sent me a card later thanking me for my purchase and adding a P.S. of “Hope you’ve learned to drive your vehicle!” Those are the kind of people I like dealing with.

In my next car purchases, I’ve said no as soon as the salesman got pushy. I don’t live in the same place where I had bought my first vehicle or else I would have bought from there again.

So to avoid speaking about cars the whole time, I’m going to go through something I experienced a few weeks ago when I went to try a new gym.

I have a student who is interested in working out and has been asking me for a workout plan. So in order to help her, I decided I would go check out her gym to see what was available. I also planned on working out there that night since I was already going to be there instead of going to my own gym. It was a bit out of my way, but I didn’t mind doing it to help her.

I was more than prepared to pay for the session. However, I saw an ad that advertised a free gym trial. So I filled out the information, got a call, and arranged a time to come in. It required meeting a manager, getting a tour, filling out paperwork, etc. I also saw an ad with their ad that stated their gym fees were $15 biweekly. It was quite a bit cheaper than my own gym, so this kind of piqued my interest. I actually was interested in learning about these low fees, especially now that I’m here on my own and this is a female-only gym. I was open to the suggestions.

The whole walk-through, discussion, etc. went well. But it came down to the end when she began throwing membership papers in front of me that I politely told her that I am not comfortable with signing up that night. I explained to her that I wanted to check out the gym for myself, to experience what it is like being there in the atmosphere with the other members, with the equipment – to actually use it – and to really be part of the atmosphere. When it comes to a gym, this is crucial to me. I have been working out regularly for years, so I don’t want to put myself in a gym where I don’t feel “pushed” or as “free” to do what I want, especially if you don’t like some of the equipment or how it is set up, which you truly can only experience by doing your workout and feeling the flow of the design.

She did not take that explanation well. She immediately started asking me why I was changing my mind (which I hadn’t), why I possibly couldn’t want to change right away, then started asking what she had done wrong (this could have been a good self-assessment question had she not presented it the way she did), and wouldn’t even let me workout that day. I even explained to her that I wasn’t sure what I was doing this summer (two months away, my gym requires one month’s notice for cancellation) so I would have to discuss it with my husband. But the one thing that I will never forget, aside from her tone and change of discussion, was her face. She had been so smiley and happy to show me around the gym. But the minute I said I wasn’t prepared to sign papers that night, her whole countenance changed. I was given much more pressure, and even the cold shoulder towards the end. As I said, she wouldn’t even allow me to workout at the gym that night. She wrote me a card for a specific time the next day (not even a one day pass to go at my convenience) and made sure I had to see her when I got there. That’s when I knew that I wasn’t coming back.

Now, I know they make their livelihood out of people joining the gym. I would not be upset with her at all for being a little upset I wouldn’t sign up that night. But there is a huge difference between being a little upset and completely being rude in a controlling manner. I did not feel welcome as a visiting person.

Now, some people may feel like I’m just complaining and whining about something that was no big deal, but that is not my intent for I know there are many people who struggle with this. There are people who absolutely hate pushy people, and there are people who need to also work on their person skills. In this case, it is excellent to showcase all the benefits of the gym and be excited for another member. But if the visitor clearly has good reasons for wanting to check the gym out and get a feel for it first, then the manager should be more than welcoming. After all, they do advertise a free trial. The person should feel like they are definitely welcome to use the facility, to get a feel for it, and without the pressure of signing up right away, especially before even being allowed to try the gym for themselves. A position in customer service (any career where you deal with customers) is one in which good training needs to take place. I say this, because I deal with children, adults, teenagers, and every age in between every day. I converse with all personalities, teach all personalities, and have to maintain the healthiest relationships possible across the board. It takes some learning, but words, facial expressions, etc. need to be watched and guarded by self in order to build those great relationships. And this is no different in any other career.

So if you are in customer service, I pray that you will take care to be attentive to yourself and how you are reacting to others. Just because someone else is not doing what you want, doesn’t mean you have to be rude in exchange. Be the respectable person so that nobody will have anything legitimate to complain about. And if you are the type of person who gets turned off by pushy people, do your best to understand their motives, but also know it’s ok and you are not alone. Seek to find another person for there are definitely less pushy people out there.