Be The Example!

This past weekend, I was invited to a little girl’s birthday party. This little girl is the daughter of a very good friend of mine, so I was invited to the family dinner party as an honourable “Aunty.” Of course …

Sometimes Being a Dog Mom Can Be Hard

I cannot tell you how many times I hear “Just wait until you have children.” In fact, this very phrase makes me cringe. Yes, I’m a teacher. Yes, I love kids. But no, I honestly know that I don’t want any of my own. And yes, I do know what it’s like.

See here’s the thing. My step dad started working away from home when I was in grade 7, possibly before I was done grade 6. We lived on a farm at the time that had horses, cows, chickens, turkeys, pheasants, goats, rabbits, dogs, and cats. I had two younger siblings at the time, one in school, one too young. My mother also held a job as administrative assistant at a nursing home. With Dad gone, guess who became the second parent of the household? You’re reading her blog, right now.

Not only was I loaded with responsibilities on the farm, I also had to help with all the daily activities, getting the children ready, cooking, taking care of my siblings when Mom was working or at meetings with home and school. This is where I started booking quite a bit of time.

Though we lived with Dad a bit here and there throughout the years, Dad eventually had to leave for the west again to work, and thus I was the second parent again. And not only to my younger siblings this time, but also to the new baby on the way. I can remember my mother being so sick with her last pregnancy (no longer working), and simply laying on the couch, eating nothing but baguette style bread with cream cheese and ranch dressing, being able to drink nothing but a particular brand of apple juice. She had the hardest time from being sick constantly. Of course this meant I had to pick up the slack. Thankfully, our school at this place was just a walk away, but that still meant getting ready and cooking and all the other parent-jobs. I can remember one night, my mother woke me up to drive with her to the hospital (didn’t have my license or learner’s yet) because she thought she was going into labour. We got to the hospital (on a school night), my grandmother had gone to the house to stay with the sleeping siblings of mine, and waited several hours as the doctors wanted to monitor her. Unfortunately, they did not want my mother to go home in the end, just to be safe, and my sister was supposed to have a birthday party the next day. My mom asked me to not go to school, to stay home and decorate and get prepared for my sister’s party. I honestly had no idea what I was doing, and I was not the child that liked to skip school. But my mom needed me. She had nobody else to rely on.

Of course, once my youngest brother was born, my mother was not allowed to do much of anything as she had a C-section. There was so much work to be done. Even going to doctor’s visits, trips to the mall, wherever, I had to help a lot. I can remember times I carried his car set into the doctor’s office and registered him while my mother would find a parking spot. Waiting in the room, people would always assume he was mine. It became a running joke that he was my baby no matter where we went as everyone always seemed to think he was mine instead of my mom’s.

So really, you can tell me I’m inexperienced, you can tell me I don’t know, but the truth is that I do. Even with my sister that is only 3 years younger than me, I felt as if I had to take care of her due to our parent’s divorce. Who else was there on weekends (except my grandparents…it was their place) when my Dad sometimes met up with his buddies he hadn’t seen in awhile? I don’t blame him. He was young still. But my sister was allergic to so many things, had separation issues for awhile from my mom, and even at that young of an age, I somehow knew it wasn’t all up to my grandparents. I’ve always been super protective of her, just as I had become of my brothers.

The other thing is that people are always shocked when I say “I don’t need children. My 5 dogs keep me busy enough!” I always get the same reply “It’s not the same”. Don’t get me wrong. They don’t talk back, they don’t usually cry, they don’t take as much money to take care of. BUT I’m here to tell you that there are days it is exactly the same.

Last night, not only was my husband stick with stomach flu, but my dogs were sick. Thankfully only one of them, but it was still really gross when they share an inside play pen and they don’t know how to be clean about it. Yesterday morning, my husband had given them all a bath (before he got sick). But by night, the one was sick again. Can you guess what my night was like? Filled with crying dogs (same as crying babies), massive messes (think explosive diapers), and very little sleep. Trust me. It was no different than the crying nights I had experienced with my younger siblings. The real difference is, picking my dogs up, rocking them back and forth, walking them around and singing does not even have a chance with crying dogs. The remedies are not the same. But the lack of sleep is.

I love my husband. I love my dogs. I love my siblings. I love children. I love teaching. I AM experienced. I KNOW what it’s like. But I don’t want my own children, and that is simply a fact. My dogs keep me busy, they do have their own needs, and that is good enough for me.