I Was Invited Over… – Healing Journey Day 35

Journal:
It felt so nice to sleep in today. I was actually surprised how late I slept in, but did not regret it at all. Since I only have one of my dogs living with me at the moment, I’ve been letting him sleep on the bed with me and every morning, I wake up to him laying directly beside me, head on the pillow and everything! He’s such a cuddle bug. I love him.

So, today was pretty much another write-off day. I had been invited over for supper to a colleague’s house and because I’m only eating fruit at the moment, I knew that there wouldn’t be anything there for me to eat in the way of fruit. However, I did find out they were having haystacks which meant there would be veggies.

If you don’t know what haystacks are, they are a build-your-own dish. You start with some type of chips (usually corn chips) then put beans or chilli on top of the chips, usually some type of cheese on top of the beans, then top with all your favourite veggies (cucumber, tomatoes, olives, lettuce, onions, etc…). The final topping is your sauce and depending on who you are, you may put ranch, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, ketchup, etc. There are many, many different combinations you can do and it is all up to your preference.

For breakfast, I got out my new, electric orange juicer that my husband bought for me. I only had three oranges, but it was enough to make me fall in love with this electric machine. No more hand-grinding for me! Along with the orange juice, I mixed in some organic blueberry juice. Oh my goodness! I wish I could tell you how good it was. It was… a dream. I could have drank that all day! Next time, I need more oranges!

Following my little breakfast, I washed up the dishes, folded a load of laundry, got ready and went to the gym. We were having a bit of a snowstorm and I found out later that between the hours of 11:00 and 4:00, there were 157 accidents in the city. I’m thankful to say that though I saw one accident and watched a truck and trailer slide into the curb and bounce off of it, I was safe and was not a part of that statistic. It was a bit of a mess on the roads.

At the gym, I had a really good workout. I did some squats, chest press, hammer curls, pullovers, EZ-Curl bar bench press, and 3 ab exercises. I then finished up with 30 minutes on the elliptical. I came out of that gym sore and tired but feeling accomplished.

After I got home, I decided that I should use up some of the vegetables that are going ripe too fast since I’m already not going to be eating all fruit later. If I’m going to break my plan, then it needs to be within the same day so I’m not breaking my plan every day.

For a late lunch, I washed and chopped up a whole head of butter leaf lettuce. I then sliced up half of an English cucumber to put in it. I cut up two Roma tomatoes and threw them in. I took a whole head of broccoli, chopped it up and put it in. I also had some raw, fermented beets and their greens in my fridge so I put a couple tablespoons of that in. I then mashed a whole avocado, a tablespoon of raw sesame tahini, some lemon juice and a bit of garlic powder in a bowl to use as the dressing. Though the first few bites were good, it quickly got very bland. I then remembered the BeeFree Honee I had downstairs (honey made from apples, no bees required to do the work). I put a splash of that in and it was ok, but still didn’t do the trick. So I did a dangerous thing (out of control) and found some organic, green sriracha that I put in as well as some Earth Island ranch that I had. It did make it a bit better, but honestly, I shouldn’t have put all that in. I simply sat, looking at my salad, and thinking of how much fat was in this salad. This was definitely not at the same macro levels that I normally eat at and it was honestly making me nervous.

I tried my best to eat the whole salad, but I just couldn’t do it. It was more volume than I’m used to, not to mention all the fat that was in it. Before I hit the stage where I eat fruit all day and a supper salad, I need to figure out how to make a good, raw, fruit and veggies only dressing.

After I ate, I had to quickly shower and get ready to go. By this time, it had stopped snowing and the temperature was half a degree above zero celsius meaning that things were a little slushy and not frozen, so driving was relatively safe.

We honestly had an awesome night at my colleague’s. It was a night of relaxation and laughter.

I made myself a small haystack because I was still a little full from the salad. I used only a few of the small, round, Tostito corn chips (I didn’t want that nasty over-salted feeling again), some vegan chilli, some soy cheese that my hostess had bought just for me (if it wasn’t just for me, I would have left this off to be honest), tomatoes, lettuce, corn, an olive, cucumber, pickles, and salsa. I know it sounds like a lot, but when you consider that I’m only putting about a tablespoon of each topping on the half cup of chilli that I ate, it actually wasn’t that much. Needless to say, I was STUFFED.

When we finally came home, I didn’t do much but go to bed. I was really hoping my digestion would kick in, but it didn’t. It takes so much longer to digest cooked foods – particularly processed foods – than it does the fresh fruits and vegetables. I was almost sure, with all the fat I ate today, that I would be up another 8 pounds like that one day I went up 8 pounds from eating cooked foods. However, I was ecstatic to find what I stated below. To find out how much this day set me back, keep scrolling down!

Review of Symptoms:
-Tongue is clear. 🙂
-Acne still bad; almost thinking it’s worse today.
-First day in a long time feeling stuffed.
-Digestion is delayed… a cooked food/processed food result.
-Hair is not so greasy (will try to explain this finally tomorrow).
-Noticed that my thighs have shrunk A LOT! I was getting to the point I hated my legs and didn’t even want my husband to see them. I couldn’t even look in a mirror with shorts on in the summer or I would take them back off. Now? I am LOVING my legs again! Eating naturally has made such a difference!

Weight at the end of the day = 172.2 lbs (only up one pound from yesterday!!!)

Total Calories = 2051 (58% carbs, 36% fat, 6% protein… way too much fat!)

Week 13 Day 1: Extended

So I did just what I said. I woke up bright and early, and got ready for the gym. I completed a harsh leg workout, but I ended up splitting the workout. I had only finished squats, hack squats and one-leg jumps before my husband woke up and wanted to come to the gym. So I finished up this round with 12 minutes of HIIT and went to get him.

We came back to the gym and I finished the remainder of my workout. For the first time ever, I enjoyed doing deadlifts. I felt strong and in control and I loved it! I almost cried doing 20 and 2s between prone leg curls and leg extensions. It really, really hurt. I also pushed super hard with leg press, using heavier weights again than usual. And as crazy as it was, I finished with my final and last 12 minute HIIT session. I’m completely done the challenge. All workouts and the equivalent for 4 cardio sessions a week completed. What a feeling!

I had taken some pictures two days ago of some ab outlines that I saw! I was ecstatic! And yet when I finished everything today, my pictures did not turn out the same way. I don’t know what I did! I was so depressed and almost ready to call the competition quits when I noticed someone had asked when the pictures were due, and our coach has given us an extra week to get pictures in! This was the hope I needed!

I’m going to monitor my diet very closely this week and try and get a picture to show the hard work I’ve done. I know my pictures won’t reflect the same fat loss I’ve seen from others, but I do want to be able to show what I’ve accomplished, and for whatever reason, my body does not reflect that today. So I’m going to take advantage of this week, and be watching for the opportune moment. It’s going to happen!

For the rest of the day, we didn’t get to the mall to shop for Christmas like we wanted, but we did go to a Mexican restaurant that we haven’t been to in a long time (I didn’t eat very much) and then we spent some time at Chapters. We absolutely love books and I was able to purchase my new agenda (what I used to write down my workouts) for the new year. It was a good night, and a day filled with hope. My husband is more or less in charge of my food and workouts this week, so let’s see how these pictures will turn out! The best part is, I don’t care if I win. It would be nice, but it’s ok if I don’t. I just want to see that hard work show!

Week 10 Day 2: You Are Capable Of More Than You Realize

Well, this morning was nothing short of a little rushed. My car has not been looked at yet, so my husband had to drop me off at work on his way. This was not a big problem, except he underestimated how much I have to get done in the morning. It was truly my fault we weren’t out the door sooner because I didn’t sleep last night. Honestly, this teaching thing has a way of consuming you. I need to get a grip on this thing!

School went fairly well, but I did notice my shoulders were very tired/sore. I was simply lifting papers out of the huge stack I had graded, and handing them back to the students. They must have gotten a good back workout yesterday (shoulders must have taken a brunt of it).

My students were fairly good today, though they did seem a little more active than normal. Then again, we did a practice for our language arts PAT today (2+ hours of writing), so I guess I can expect the pent-up energy.

After work, I had to wait for my husband to come pick me up, which was totally fine because I was able to get some more things done at work, and when he finally came, I absolutely refused to take work home with me tonight. After taking over my life so much, I needed a night off. This was a phenomenal feeling.

At home, my husband straight-up told me that I had to take a nap before the gym. I chose not to argue, and simply told him I need to eat first, because in the rush of the morning, I had not packed food, and therefore was only able to eat the organic and natural carrot/curry/coconut soup that was in my fridge, as well as two containers of Greek yogurt. I was not running on anything much for fuel.

Strangely enough, this is where it hit me: I was craving healthy food! In fact, with all of the things in our house, I wanted fruit, cottage cheese, and pumpkin spice Nuts n’ More peanut butter. Seriously! I was in love and so happy this is what my body was craving.

My nap turned into a 4-hour sleep. And I felt awful when I woke up. My body ached so badly, my limbs barely functioning to move, and my eyes could barely stay open. But this is when my body hit autopilot, and somehow, I changed my clothes and made it downstairs.

On the way to the gym, I did something I never do, nor do I usually advise doing. I had my usual iced coffee, but also a doughnut. I researched ahead of time, and picked a doughnut that was lower in fat, and mediocre in carbs. The reason for my decision was the simple fact that my body was in need. It needed a carb that would energize me quickly (gym was only 2 minutes away). The truth is, I didn’t even want a doughnut. I try to avoid a lot of sugar like that. I wanted to stop eating it after two bites, but I knew it would help. So yes, I ate a doughnut.

We got to the gym, and I expected to feel worse than yesterday; the mental battle, the lack of ability, but I was totally wrong. Tonight was legs, and I normally hate, no, despise leg workouts. But today, I loved it! I don’t know where the energy and motivation came from, but it was undeniably there. I killed my workouts, things seemed easier, I felt stronger and I was smashing my records. Here are some of the things that were different:

1. I normally struggle with 70 lbs on prone leg curls. It seemed so semi-easy tonight!
2. I was mentally thinking that 90 lbs was the weight I used for seated leg curls last time, curled it, found it easy, only to find that the most I had used was 85 lbs in the past!
3. For the first time ever, I did smith machine lunges. Wow, these killed me, but I could tell were working my legs well.
4. I normally hate barbell walking lunges, and tonight my coach wanted us to drop the back knee twice each time instead of the normal once when walking. I dreaded them before I did them, did them and LOVED them!
5. Normally, I find leg press heavy. I don’t know how else to describe it than that. I completed my regular presses with 120 lbs, thinking that was bigger than normal. But for some reason, I was in a stellar mood and decided to do another set with 180 lbs. I ALMOST got my husband to spot me, in fact I even walked over to him, but then decided I need to do this on my own. Well, let me tell you, I did it! Every single rep, and it was not as hard as I thought. So I decided to do more. And I raised it to 230 lbs. And you know what? I did it for 10 reps! Oh my goodness! I was so happy, so ecstatic. Almost double the weight I’ve been using to train, and yet I am so much more capable. I was SO happy!

And again, we went home, and what did my body crave? Cottage cheese, fruit, raw veggies, and pumpkin spice Nuts’ N More peanut butter. Honestly, what more could I ask for? I crave a healthy diet, I’m growing increasingly stronger, and I feel great. My body may not be losing the fat I want, and as a matter of fact, quite a few of my clothes seem to be fitting tighter, but when I consider the shape my body is taking, the progress I’ve made both mentally and overall personally, I’m so happy! I’m obviously going to keep my fat in check, and will be monitoring it, but this strength is such a boost in self-esteem; I’m loving it!