National Sandwich Day – Healing Journey Day 55

Journal:
Today is National Sandwich Day and I had planned this day to be a sandwich day to see how my body would react to introducing bread. I woke up still not feeling 100% and needing to run to the washroom again. However,it was my hope that the bread would also help with this issue while I was at work. It would either be a success, or a completely bad judgment call. Only time would tell.

Early in the morning, I showered, got ready, and left early. I went and got gas so I wouldn’t have to do it in the evening, and then I hit Subway for their BOGO deal. I got two simple veggie subs on Italian bread (the only vegan bread). For sauces I got mustard and sweet onion sauce. And as for veggies? I got all the fresh veggies with the exception of jalapeño peppers as I didn’t need to put my body through that today.

What was my instant reaction after eating one for breakfast? Blah… not energizing, not “fulfilling”, just blah… I really was hoping this wouldn’t spell doom for the rest of the day.

By snack time, I was hungry again. So I pulled out the other sub and ate half. At lunch, I finished the sub. It amazed me how “empty” my stomach could feel while also feeling so not great. The caloric density of bread is not making up for the normal volume of fruit and veggies I normally eat. I also began to notice how dehydrated my body was beginning to feel.

When the afternoon hit, I was hungry again. I didn’t have any more “sandwiches” with me, but I did have a packet of savoury oatmeal, so I quickly whipped that up and ate it. I actually had never had savoury oatmeal before. Growing up, my favourite oatmeal included lots of brown sugar and dates. I always found that the dates tasted exactly like candy when cooked in oatmeal, so the thought of a savoury oatmeal did not really entice me. However, trying this Masala-flavoured oatmeal allowed me to quickly fall in love; it was so good!

Now, by the end of the afternoon, my stomach was in an all-right outcry. It already had not been feeling good throughout the day, but I knew it was not good. I had not been successful in my plan of trying to use bread to stop the bathroom issues and that did not work at all. In fact, I think the bread made it worse and my stomach more painful. So this plan was as good as failed.

After work, I drove to a place called Press’d to get another BOGO deal for sandwich day. I ordered two sandwiches called the Beatnik. The original recipe includes ranch dressing and swiss cheese, so I just took those off the sandwich and replaced them with avocado. I then brought them home and put my own sauces on them that I had in the fridge. It was much easier to control what they were putting on my sandwiches this way.

By the time I had eaten both sandwiches, I felt like I was so over-salted in my body, so dehydrated, stomach cramping badly, and just tired and terrible. Oh man… this sandwich day has been awful. I honestly am looking forward to going back to eating raw tomorrow. My body is so unhappy. I’m actually beginning to wonder if I’m truly digesting the food properly or not. I didn’t even go to the gym again tonight because I’m still scared of being away from the bathroom for too long. I want my health back!

Review of Symptoms:
-Stomach is bloated.
-Acne is terrible.
-Tired.
-I can feel the excess salt in my system.
-Still running to the washroom throughout the day.
-Not digesting food properly.
-Craving raw food and water.
-Pulled a groin-area muscle while playing soccer on the frosted grass with students today. Ugh…

Weight at the end of the day = 168.6 lbs (up 3 days from yesterday thanks to bread… ugh…)

Total Calories = 2691 (75% carbs, 12% fat, 13% protein)

Vegan Journey Update

Ok. I have LOVED seeing everyone’s vegan success posts! I fully believe in a vegan lifestyle and have taken much backlash for it. I began my vegan journey in June/July 2015. I had a week’s transition where I was battling cravings for cheese. Who knew I’d hit severe withdrawal over a food.

At first, I was leaning towards a more RawTill4 version, but found also that I had addictions to cooked lunches. So then it was more of a raw breakfast with cooked meals afterwards.

I did alright until the fall when I started teaching again and began buying a lot more pre-made vegan foods and trying more vegan junk foods.

Prior to all of this, I had won a fitness competition at my lowest weight of 129 lbs (I believe… my husband seems to remember a different number in the 120 lbs range). I won free coaching for two months and did fairly well continuing to stick with an extremely low carb, higher protein and moderate fat meal plan but my results stalled and as I started avoiding meals just so I didn’t have to keep eating the same things, my results started to reverse.

I found a group on FB with a coach that designed his own workout plans and diet. Many people have seen results on his plans, so I decided to enter this challenge as well. About half way through, I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being unhappy with my food. I was tired of always restricting. And when I finally asked the coach why I was no longer losing weight, he told me to cut my calories down even more. I think I thought about it for two days before deciding that I’m not doing this anymore and I’m going to “intuitive eat”.

Now, my intuitive eating was not a binging session. I don’t think I’ve ever binged. But I did start eating whatever foods I wanted with no regards to macro counting. Obviously this included more cheese for my cheese addiction. Needless to say, I started gaining weight.

After awhile, I started being so unhappy because I knew something was wrong and that there had to be something better for our bodies than this. With my dissatisfaction, and being vegetarian for many years before entering the bodybuilding/fitness world, I started looking at being vegan. I researched for days, watched YouTube videos by the hour. I finally had found what made sense to me. Hence my journey began in June/July 2015.

Though I’ve enjoyed the success stories, I’ve always wondered what was going wrong. When I first switched to vegan, my weight slowly kept creeping up until I hit my all-time high over Christmas at 196 lbs. Sure, it’s easy to say you shouldn’t worry about the weight, but from winning my competition at 129 lbs to gaining up to 196 lbs, I’m sure you can understand the mental troubles this can give you, especially when your husband thinks your current diet is to blame.

Deep in my heart, I knew this was the right way to eat so I didn’t give up. Sure, I indulged a little in junk over Christmas Break since we went on vacation to Colorado, but I never quit being vegan, and at home I have been cooking more than before and eating as much whole, plant-based foods as possible.

Since Christmas, I just wanted to see the scale move down into the 180s. That’s not a huge fat loss, but enough for some confirmation. Since Christmas, I have found my all-time best routine. I get up at 4 am, go to the gym, do my workout fasted: usually 1 to 1 1/2 hours of weights and 30 minutes of cardio, come home, eat breakfast because I’m usually starving after the gym, take care of my dogs, get stuff ready for my husband, get myself ready for work, go to work (elementary teacher), come home or stay at work after and do what needs to be done. It honestly gives me so much energy for the day. Yes, physically I have felt a difference for sure! No more coffee, never tired except for at night, no stomach issues, etc.

Yesterday in the gym, while doing lateral raises, I thought I noticed a slight difference in my chest/shoulder area. My shoulder muscles are starting to show again like they used to (though there is still fat covering them that needs to go). Then when I was doing shrugs, I noticed the top half of my stomach area (chest down to “love handles”) is actually slim (I carry all my fat in my bottom part of my stomach). For once, I could see/vision myself athletically fit and not stare at myself with criticism. However, I will say that until this point, the scale had barely moved (though I do not check everyday).

This morning, and yes, I know the scale isn’t everything, but what I saw was confirmed. I am back on the 180s side at 189! 7 1/2 months of keeping faith that this is the right way, and I’m finally starting to see results and not just feel them. I am so happy!

I just wanted to share my story for anyone else who may get frustrated that their weight is not coming off. Being active and eating whole foods is honestly the best way to go. You will feel the results first, and that’s what counts. The physical results will come later. I haven’t had a blood test done yet to make sure all of my levels are ok, but that is on my to-do list. All I know is I feel great, my strength and endurance have actually increased in the gym, and I will never eat/live another way again!

When I Realized My Grandfather Really Wasn’t Coming Back

Something happened today that really jarred my memory and brought me to write this post. I saw the following picture on Facebook and it got me thinking about my grandfather.

It took me right back to the moments where I can remember thinking about him and instantly started crying. Even now writing this, I can feel the water filling up in my eyes. I know many of you will say that you have/had an awesome grandfather to, but I’d like to take a minute to tell you about mine, and how special he truly was.

I guess it starts when my mother became pregnant with me. My parents were not married. I guess my grandfather liked my dad, but he was very upset about the whole situation and didn’t talk to my mother for days. However, being the man that he was, he still bought her a crib and everything she would need for me, even though he wasn’t talking to her. He was always that way, taking care of things even when he was upset.

Of course, as soon as I was born, he was completely smitten. My mother is a child of two, but lived very much a single child’s life. She never met her brother as he died on a surgery table a few months after he was born. That meant, I was the first and only grandchild.

My parents didn’t stay together very long. They did get married after I was born, but separated when I was about 4, officially divorcing when I was around 5. Where do you think we went back to? My grandparents. In fact, their home was very much “home base” my entire life.

My grandfather always spoiled me (and later my other siblings). I have pictures where my toys barely fit in the picture with me. My father told me that I would get tired of opening gifts because there were simply so many. I had this 6″+ man wrapped around my tiny finger. There’s no denying he loved me.

My grandfather was a used car salesman. In fact, it was my mother’s company that he worked for her since she dropped out of college to be home with me. The company was even named after my sister and I. But eventually he took over the company and changed its name since he did become the only one running the business.

I used to love visiting him at his office. My grandmother and I would get lunches for him, he would let me sit in his office chair, I would be called his “Number 1 Dudette”, and I loved the fact that everywhere we went, people always knew and respected my grandfather, and thus treated me as if I was a special person. I had never met anyone who didn’t know or like my grandfather.

If you could imagine the biggest realistic playground in the world, that would be my grandfather’s car lot. He gave me access to all the keys and vehicles in his lot. I can still remember the amount of fun we had pretending to drive the cars, and especially in exploring the only RV I remember him having. Only once did he ask me to backup a truck into a corner spot. My mother sat in the passenger seat with me, and I remember learning really quick to use my mirrors. I was so scared I would mess up his vehicles in this tight spot. But I did it! I still can’t believe he trusted me…

If I could compare him to anything, it would very much be the godfather. I’m not joking when I say that everyone seemed to know who he was. He was an amazing man when he was happy, but he was always a man you feared when he was unhappy. I don’t remember him every getting mad at me, but it was a general rule that when he came home, the remote control to the television had to be in the right spot for him to lay on the couch and watch what he wanted. He became upset if the remote went missing. There were just certain things you knew not to do.

Sometimes, my grandmother and him would fight. I’m sure there’s not a couple in the world who has not at least had one argument. Sometimes, or maybe more than sometimes, this meant he would stay at his office for the night. It was a conveniently built, small building that contained 3 rooms and a tiny hallway. One room was “the office”. The second room was of course a washroom. And the third room was his bedroom. It contained only a tv, a bed, and a mini fridge. It pretty much had everything he needed if he needed a night away. So it was a fairly normal occurrence for him not to come home sometimes.

The best thing about my grandfather was that he was always there for us. There was a time when we didn’t have the most money, and work was slow. My grandfather always provided what we needed, and then some. Most of you know that I have moved like 20 times with my family, not including on my own. The one person who was always there, regardless of where we were, was my grandfather. He never missed an opportunity to come and stay with us. (Of course I should say my grandmother always came with him as well, but I will dedicate a post to her another day.) He was honestly one of the biggest constants in my life.

When my family made the official decision to move from the east coast to the west coast, my grandparents offered to bring my sister and I out at the end of summer so that we could spend the extra time with our father. It was a fair bit of a long drive, but even then my grandfather trusted me with reading the map (before GPS systems). I almost think his belief in me helped me grow to the independent woman I am today. I have a lot to credit him for.

They stayed with us at our new place for a few days. Early in the morning, him and I would get up and drive to a hotel or another homey restaurant to eat. He was not a chain-restaurant type of person. Even back in the town he worked, he had one particular restaurant he preferred to eat at, and everybody knew his specials and what he enjoyed eating. He always preferred the homestyle cooking. In fact, he met my grandmother while she was waitressing at such a type of restaurant. My family and I have visited that restaurant a few times and imagined what it must have been like. They still have the juke boxes and the old stools. Sometimes it’s nice to preserve history rather than to embrace change.

We then took a trip to the “big city” so my grandparents could see it before they left. We had a lot of fun. At one point, we lost my grandfather in the big mall. I’ll never forget him driving around on those motorized scooters for people who can’t walk well. He had even gotten an orange smoothie and I guess spilled it all over the machine. If you knew my grandfather like I did, you would picture him using colourful language for the time he was mad, then acting like nothing ever happened.

I don’t remember how we ever found him, but I can tell you it was one of the hardest good-byes of my life.This wasn’t just moving a few hours away, this was a four day drive across the country. Of course they would come visit again, but the visits would never be as frequent as before. What I didn’t know was that my tears would get worse before they ever got better.

Literally two or three days after we returned to our new home, I got a call from my grandmother. It sounded like her for sure, but something was a little different. She asked to speak to my mom pretty much right away, so I gave my mom the phone and sat on the landing of the stairs. My mother took the phone into her room which was at the top of the stairs. The next words I heard told me pretty much everything I didn’t want to hear. She said, as she began crying, “Oh Mom!”.

My grandparents had been involved in a car accident on their journey home. An impatient driver went in their lane to pass a semi-truck and didn’t see my grandparents van coming at them. My grandmother was in the hospital, a little bruised but otherwise ok (she would later need nose surgery to correct the alignment). My grandparents’ friend who was helping them drive home had so many broken bones, including ribs and shoulder, and would also need counselling for what happened (he was driving at the time – completely not his fault). But my grandfather didn’t make it.The speed they were traveling on the highway, and the impact of a completely head-on hit left the vehicle in shambles and took my grandfather with it.

Immediately, we packed and drove back to the city. I thankfully had a great aunt and uncle who lived just outside the limits and welcomingly invited us in until we could all make arrangements to fly home. My mother was able to fly right away to be with my grandmother, but there were 4 more of us to fly, and we had to wait for a cheaper ticket to afford it.

It was so strange when I got home. Being in my grandparents house seemed so normal. I mean, I was only at my “new home” for less than a week. I had no attachments to it and didn’t even have to act like it was supposed to be my new home. I had come home and it felt like life should be normal again.

I know I cried a few times, but I remember just having the attitude and thoughts of “My grandfather is just at his office, staying the night like he usually does. Sometime he’ll come home.”

I still remember it as clear as yesterday: My mother and I were sitting in the living room, on separate couches, not talking much as we didn’t for a while, and her saying the exact same thing that I felt – that Grampy was just at his office and sometime he would come home. And it hit us right then that we had to realize it was wasn’t true, that Grampy really wasn’t coming back. I broke down (just like I am again now) because he was always there, for everything! How could he not come back this time! How could the one stable thing in my life not come back! It was so hard to accept.

Sitting in his house, seeing all of his old stuff, going to his office, it was all so hard to do when you realize the person who has always been there for you, the person who has loved you your whole life was suddenly gone. My nickname would never be used again, except when telling stories of him. My promise from him of giving me my first car would never come true. My life was drastically left with an empty hole that I’m not sure was ever filled again. Nobody could take his place, and I could never have been prepared for that instant change in time.

Life is not fair, and it never will be. The devil is waiting for any opportunity to attack and make a mess of things. He knows which strings to pull and he knows how to make things hurt you more than anyone else. He knows he can damage us and take away everything that means the world to us, which is why it’s so important to turn to God when you’re hurting, to let Him hold you and tell you that everything is going to be ok, because one day, it will. One day, when Jesus returns and we are taken to Heaven with Him, there will not be anymore pain, there will not be anymore death, there will not be anymore tears. I don’t know what my grandfather’s relationship with Christ was like. I know he sort of had a falling out at one point, but he insisted my mom make sure she took us to church. So I only hope and pray that he had a good relationship with God, because it would be so nice to run into those loving arms I miss so dearly, the loving arms that were missing during both of my graduations and my wedding, the loving arms that were taken away from me way too soon.

I miss this man more than anything, and truly just thinking of how much I miss him brings me to tears almost instantly. Hold your loved ones close and make sure you let them know how important they are to you. You never know which instant will take them away.

Day 3

I am paying for what I did last night. I never want to eat that much deep-fried food again.

I woke up in the middle of the night as dry as the desert. My mouth was so dry and I craved water. I did not get in near enough water yesterday, possibly not even half as much as my goal is. I feel awful.

I chugged down some water and realized as I was laying in bed trying to fall back asleep that I had pains from my neck to my lower abdomen. Greasy food… I strongly dislike you. My body is paying for my stupidity.

After I got up and made lunch for my husband, I took a 4L jug of water, and started drinking. My goal is to have the 4L finished today. My usual goal is only 3L, but I think I owe it to my body, especially after all that unhealthiness last night to give it some extra water to flush the nastiness out. Ugh… hopefully you’re sensing how awful I feel.

After drinking about 1L of water to start off my day, and waiting about a half hour, I ate my breakfast. Today, my bananas from the Organic Box were ripe and ready to be eaten. Remember, when you eat bananas, they shouldn’t just be yellow. They should have lots of dark spots on them. That is when they are the best ripeness. I attempted to eat 6 (I know it would even be awesome to eat 10) but because I’m still getting used to eating so much, I could only get in 5. So a 5 banana breakfast it is!

I had to run to meet a lady at a different mall today. It was good. Got there on time. Found her. Everything went smoothly. But I decided to take a quick run to the health food store there to get some hairspray that I needed. Of course, I walked by the food court, really wanted some Korean potatoes, but since I’m trying to do raw foods until 4 p.m. each day, I continued to walk by. Instead, I picked up some Solar Raw kale chips with my organic, cruelty-free hairspray. Oh they are delicious! You could never guess it’s not cheese on them. Almost completely organic, and the Solar Raw brand is a farm that grows all their own organic products using solar power! Love it! Look up the brand and see for yourself! The only thing was, they are so rich that I could only eat a small handful. I will be snacking on these later (or tomorrow).

As a late lunch, I put together a massive salad. I used some 50/50 Organic Green Mix, 1 organic raspberry (unfortunately one had moulded and spoiled a whole bunch of other ones), organic blueberries, three sliced organic strawberries, some organic cucumber, a yellow rainbow carrot, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds and soya nuts. For a dressing, I mashed 2 small avocados with a teaspoon of vegan cream cheese (not my favourite, so masking it with other things) and salsa. Oh so delicious, and very full!

After my husband came home, he suggested going out for frozen yogurt. It’s a hot day, our first “hot” summer day, so I said, “Let’s go!”

They had two vegan flavours today: blueberry sorbet and peach sorbet. I totally forgot how flavourful sorbet was! So sweet and fruity. Yum! Of course I put some fresh fruit toppings on it, as well as a couple candy embellishments as a treat. This is a late snack/supper. I’m still very full.

We went to the gym, and I had a good workout. I focused on different variations of squats, push-ups, and some planks. I did a variety of stretching, my chiropractor’s exercises, and 25 minutes of quick-paced walking. It all went very well.

For supper, I finished off the little bit of kale chips my husband left, ate 3 mangos, and then sat around with my husband trying not to fall asleep (sometimes I’m a night owl, sometimes I’m not). However, my husband mentioned that he wanted pizza, so we ordered pizza, non-cheese breadsticks (for me), Coke Zero, and Cinnamon Sticks. I was so proud of myself that I did not even look at the pizza (cheese, chicken and beef), and I didn’t even take one gulp of that Coke Zero! Not that Coke is not vegan, but of all the chemicals that are inside that thing. I did eat my cheese-less breadsticks with marinara sauce (normally would be so unhappy that there was no cheese on them… talk about cheese-addicted!), and I ate a couple of the cinnamon sticks (could have definitely gone without these). But overall, not bad with all the temptation around me!

Just before I went to bed, I finished my 4L of water. Definitely the most I’ve ever drank in a day, and I was so happy!

Week 11 Day 3

I battled between being mentally happy and mentally unhappy in regards to missing my workout last night. However, I decided to remember my body needed some rest to recover. There was just no way I was going to miss the gym tonight!

School went well. We started watching one of my favourite video sermon series by Louie Giglio, where he shows the grandeur of God in comparison to astronomy. It’s absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it!

We were supposed to finish our Planets presentations today, but instead only completed 5. Unfortunately, these were students that did not put as much time into their presentations as others, and we had to have a conversation about plagiarism, as most of the students were stumbling over the words on their presentations, some words more sophisticated than I would use in our Science study. This unfortunately made for a long end of the day.

Following the end of school, the teachers quickly dismissed and met at Moxie’s to celebrate one of our coworker’s upcoming wedding. It was a great time of just getting away from work, being able to socialize and celebrate. As usual, I looked up the food before I went. I couldn’t believe how much fat was in EVERYTHING at the restaurant! I did find a side menu they had to give healthy hints. So I followed one of the healthy hints, and ordered the fish tacos with grilled fish instead of fried, and had a small green salad as my side. This restaurant did seem to be pretty compliant with anything you requested of them, so in that way it was very nice.

After quite a bit of extra time (oops), we came back to the school, and I waited for my husband to come get me. He hadn’t had time to finish my car because he was putting his new mirrors on his truck! It’s so exciting to have mirrors again, and not just new mirrors, but brand new tow mirrors that he got for a third of the price since they were considered new after someone had purchased them and then exchanged them. It is my suspicion that God knew ahead of time our mirror would be broken, and provided these incredible mirrors just for us. I love a God that can see ahead.

I don’t know if it was the rush of trying to get some things caught up at work or what, but my eyes bothered me really badly today. They were watering, painful, almost doing that blurry thing they sometimes do, and I had to resort to wearing my glasses for the first time in two months. So when I went home, and could sit and be mentally awake, but physically had to close my eyes, my husband told me to go rest in bed while he made his food, ate, and changed the battery in my car. He didn’t have to tell me twice today. My eyes had said enough.

When he woke me up, I did not want to get up. In fact, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I knew I had to workout. I couldn’t miss again. So somehow, with my husband’s persistence, I made it out of bed and got changed to go to the gym.

I had a coffee, which helped some. But I was just plain tired.

I had a back workout tonight, and I cannot contain how happy I am. My weights keep rising every week, my strength is increasing all the time. I’m so in love with my body’s reaction right now. No, I’m not seeing the fat necessarily disappear like I’d like. No, my clothes don’t fit me as loose as I’d like. But the number on the scale is not rising either! In fact, it has been in the exact same place for at least two weeks. And for someone who hasn’t been counting macros, and instead have just been listening to my body’s needs, that’s amazing!

Someday I will cut again to get rid of the fat, but for now, I will go to bed content that my body is the strongest it has ever been, and perhaps the healthiest as well. My mental state is in one of the best places it has ever been and my relationship with food is one where food no longer controls me (for the most part). And that’s much better to me in this moment. I’m happy.

Week 9 Day 6

As one can only imagine, I felt awful when I woke up today. After having so many dreams last night, I felt like I had lived several nights in one. But I got up, ate some breakfast, then took care of my babies, took a shower and got ready for my chiropractor and acupuncture appointments that I was really looking forward to today. After this week, I needed the relaxing and adjustment times. But that’s when the problem began.

My car would not start. I don’t think it was just that the temperature was almost -30 Celsius, but something that won’t even allow the motor to really turn over more than once. The biggest thing is that I remember my car doing this last winter, I just don’t remember how we fixed it. But what really stressed me is that I missed my appointments. I called in of course, but this week I could have really used those appointments, so I was very upset.

I came in, and decided that since my car wouldn’t work, I should at least try to finish my work. But to no avail. My eyes were burning, my body just in a hateful mode, and my head had the worst headache I’ve ever had. So really I had no choice but to try and keep sleeping it off.

But wouldn’t ya know, this would be the day my dogs would decide to be whiney. I walked them twice as much as normal, even though I felt terrible, and I was just miserable with my body begging me to sleep.

I eventually did sleep and went through several more dreams as my brain continued to try and filter through the last few days, and as much as I hoped I would get rid of the headache, it was still there when I was woken up by my husband coming home.

He took me out for supper, and he graciously took me to the gym, even though it was his designated day off. I powered through as much of my workout as possible, and had to quit half way through. My body wanted to workout so badly, but as much energy as my body had, my head pounded harder with each exercise I did. I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t stop, but I also knew how unhappy I’d be if I didn’t get at least something done. I hated it. My body was going through the exercises with ease, only being stopped by the pain in my head. I just want to workout!!!

So I’m back home now, and laying in bed with my pounding head. Medicine doesn’t seem to touch it. I will be back at the gym tomorrow. I need to workout. My body needs the energy release and is tired of being dormant, and sitting, and grading. But for tonight, sleep in on the agenda. Hopefully, I’ll finally feel like a normal person again.

Week 9 Day 2

This morning was just not a good morning. I woke up unhappy, and just couldn’t seem to lift my own spirits today. My husband didn’t have to go to work until late, and so everything was rushed more than normal this morning. I missed being late by literally a hair, and I just felt such a mess this morning.

To continue matters, our worship today was filled with intense sadness. A brother to one of the teachers at a sister-school lost his wife due to some health complication that they weren’t able to save her from. To make matters more complicated, she was 6 months pregnant with their first child. They managed to save the child which of course is what his full attention is on as of now. He knows that his wife would have wanted him to do whatever necessary to keep their child alive, and so that is what he’s focussed so heavily on now. The baby is just over 2 lbs; very tiny and so very young. The problem is, he’s in the states, and as many of you know, this is not going to be an easy road financially with so many weeks to months of recovery for such a premature baby. I am going to ask that you please keep this man in your prayers. You may have no association to him, but these are people who thought little of themselves. In fact, they actually met while both volunteering for relief services after 9/11. The more I hear about this couple, the more unfair it seems. And the whole thing is that we will have no idea why God allows these things to happen to people that seem so good, the kind of people this world needs more of. But it is in my faith that God will wrap His arms around this man and his tiny son, and that He will help that son grow to a healthy state so that he can go home with his dad.

If you feel moved by this tragedy, I will leave the link to the donation site below. I’ve always been in Canada where we have not had to worry about such extreme health care costs. He needs your help. But most importantly, he needs your prayers.

Anyways, worship left me in a continued saddened state. The next stop was taking attendance and getting my students upstairs for our Remembrance Day ceremony. This assembly allowed me to take a breath, and to really contemplate things in my life, and realize again that I am so fortunate and blessed to have what I have. Even if my car needs work done, even if it’s extremely cold outside, even if my house is so trashed that I’d be embarrassed for anyone to see it, I still have things that other people do not. I need to be more grateful.

I’d love to say the rest of the day went much better, but no amount of reflection could have prepared me for the energy the kids brought today. They did so well containing it during the ceremony, but after finding out it was -25 Celsius outside, and so recess was inside, all of their energy was coming out in my room! Oh the madness! I was so glad when the day was done.

After school, I was not done work. In fact, I stayed at work until 8:00 p.m. I then came home, got ready, and went to the gym. I needed the gym tonight.

Tonight’s workout was supposed to be three circuits for back and biceps, but the gym was so packed! It ended up being supersets instead of full circuits just whenever I could find available machines or benches. I skipped cardio tonight because my mind was not in it. Instead, we came home and I continued to work on school related things until after 1:00 a.m. and even then, only went to bed because I knew I needed to. Definitely looking forward to an uplifted mood tomorrow!

If you’d like to donate to the tragedy described above, please click on the link below. I know he would very much appreciate any bit of help he can get to help his son fight for his life! Thank you in advance!

http://www.youcaring.com/memorial-fundraiser/ashley-picco-memorial-fund/260229

Week 6 Day 5

As per usual, today was not my worship day but simply an appreciation day which is always nice. As far as Spirit Week goes, each classroom was allowed to choose their own theme for the last day. So my students submitted their choices, I narrowed down a list of five, and they were allowed to vote (an enhancement of our social studies unit learning about democracy and voting by secret ballot). Overall, my students chose Twin Day which is where you and someone else dress the same. We had a lot of fun with this day. I partnered up with one of my students and we decided to dress in blue shirts and black pants. Nothing difficult, but easy and fun!

I was also approached for something I was hoping to avoid this year: Being the female sponsor for the Flag Football Tournament this weekend. I asked to be the last female teacher/staff to be approached, and wouldn’t you know, I had to go. The kids were excited because we had a lot of fun last year, but I also knew my husband was already complaining about all of the meetings and time my job is taking and this would be a complete weekend without seeing him. So I made an agreement. Because I was still getting my meals made for me, I would need access to at least a fridge and microwave. And they met my accommodations. And so I would go.

After school, I had two meetings scheduled for this day (not a good way to say good-bye to my husband…). A couple of my colleagues and I are working on starting up a tutoring group in our school. This of course meant a lot of looking at policies that other schools formed, and creating a set of forms and policies of our own. Throughout this meeting, that started late and went twice as long as it was supposed to, we finally had a plan with some final revisions to complete. But of course, this meant our next meeting started later too.

Our second meeting was a Core Group meeting where we meet and talk about issues that need to be talked about within our group and our plans for during the year. Our group is the downstairs group, the middle core, grades 5-8. And so these conversations took a very long time, and needless to say, I came home to a very unhappy husband.

We did make it to the gym, and I completed 3 circuits of focus on chest and triceps followed by 12 minutes of HIIT. It was a later night than I expected because I also tried to spend a bit of time with my husband before I left. But he still had to work the next morning and I had a ton of things I wanted to get done before I left. So to bed we went.