Ben Carson Under Fire?

I have heard from many different places that Ben Carson is under fire for the way he treated the press in a recent press conference. I don’t think Ben Carson is completely flawless – no human is! But this got my interests peaked because as many of you may or may not know, he’s quite the guy with quite the story! I really encourage that if you don’t know his background, look it up! This guy is pretty amazing, and the best part is, he’s kept God in the forefront of his life.

Anyways, the first thing I did was to look at different articles to see the opinions voiced. This is when I learned about what the press was upset about.

Years ago, when Carson was looking at going to universities, he was offered to attend a reputable military school. Whatever the wording was, he was told it would be free. Carson took this to mean a full scholarship. He told the military officer that he would decline as that was not the route in life he intended to go. Thus, he applied and went to medical school and the rest is history.

The press says that Carson claimed he had the full scholarship to a place that apparently doesn’t even offer scholarships. Now, that’s fine. The military officer may not have used the word “scholarship” so yes, maybe Carson did not quite understand the meaning at the time. He worked very hard to pay for everything he had in life, so going to school for free because of good grades would quite obviously appear to be a free scholarship to him. I can see that. But call it a lie if you’d like. I guess it depends on how you see the situation. But then there was an argument that he never even applied to this military school. Well of course he didn’t. He never once said he did. In fact, he said he had $10 in his pocket. Applying to schools at that time required a $10 fee meaning he could only apply to one – his medical school.

So of course, this completely disqualifies the arguments I’ve seen in the articles. But I didn’t stop there – I went on to see Carson’s behaviour at said “press conference”.

At this press conference, the press kept asking him about these same questions, the same ridiculous, disqualified questions. As anyone would, he got frustrated that they were going over the same things again and again. He then threw the ball back in their court and asked why they didn’t dig into deeper issues with the current president and other candidates, one being Obama’s sealed school records that nobody can look at. Carson questioned why the press didn’t want to know what was on those school records and why they were being hidden. Honestly, that’s a good point. Carson’s story is out there, his memoir is there, and the questions they’re asking are already answered if they look at the whole picture. Why don’t they want to know things that are completely hidden for some reason? Doesn’t that make you question things?

Anyways, I find this whole situation completely blown way out of proportion. What do you guys think? Did I miss something? Is it as ridiculous as it appears to me? I honestly think they’re just digging for anything against Carson, even the most trivial of things, because if this was the worst thing he’s done, are we even looking at other politicians? It blows my mind. Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

The Difficulties of Changing Grades

The title may not be quite what you are thinking. I’m not even going to touch on the fact of the extra paperwork that comes with switching grades, the hours of preparing for something you would have otherwise not had to prepare so much for, and of course the task of learning a new curriculum. All of those make changing grades difficult, but that’s not what I’m focussing on today.

Today was our first day of school, and as you’ll read in my next post, I didn’t quite have the start to the year that I had planned. However, for all the preparations I did, today is what shook me up the most.

A little background for those who don’t know, I’ve essentially taught grade 6 for the past 5 years. That whole pre-teen mentality is what I’ve become accustomed to and primed to deal with. I loved it. But with an expanding school and a new principal, some changes were made, and I was asked to take on grade 2. I’ve been wondering if I would regret it ever since.

Everything went well. To be honest, it went way better than I thought it would. Surprisingly, the grade two students actually listen better than the grade sixes… go figure! But, when I walk into the hallways, and I see my previous students, I see the students that I had grown to know over the last year in anticipation of teaching them this year (before my assignment change), I can’t help but feel out of place. I feel like a skeleton of a person, just doing the job because I know how to do it, but not because I’m actually supposed to be there. It’s weird. Even my previous students stopped me and said they still didn’t picture me as a grade two teacher… because I’ve always been grade six to them! It’s just a strange feeling…

As I said, the day actually went very well. But there is so much to get used to. Grade two thinking is on a much more basic level than the complex conversations we would have in grade six. It takes them much longer to figure out problems and what I could consider simple tasks than the speed and accuracy my grade sixes could accomplish. I have never really had to teach reading before, nor spelling on such a basic level. I was a little shocked and blown away with the amount of help I needed to provide the students while creating an “About Me” booklet. It’s just so different from what I am used to.

I had a minute to talk to last year’s grade 2 teacher who is now teaching high school. She mentioned that after her first day in high school, she missed the grade 2 class. For her, the change was the opposite of mine. She missed the love and hugs you get from the younger children, and the kindness they speak to you in. Whereas high school students are very standoffish and can be rude in their talk. It’s completely different for her as well.

Are you a teacher that has switched grades? Do you know the “out of place” feeling I’m talking about? I’d love to hear your experience below and even suggestions on what you did to feel more “in place”. I’m sure time will help, but any extra advice is definitely appreciated!

The Penalty of Standing Out

I hate the way the world works sometimes. I hate seeing people in pain. I hate watching people getting picked on or bullied. I hate sin and wrong-doings in this world.

When I was going through my university years, completing my education degree, I had a desire to work with special needs children. It wasn’t because I looked forward to the extra work that often comes with special needs children, but because I wanted to make a difference. I knew special needs children were often put down and sometimes stared at as if the were a circus sideshow. I knew I could step up and be the voice of those children, and I knew that I could help those children feel as important as they are. But that’s not what happened.

At first I ended up teaching at a Native School. It took me awhile to learn the different dynamics needed to teach students who come from a history of anger. It was a definite learning curve in understanding the culture, the behaviours, and the thoughts about different things. But one of the things I found is that my classroom was often their safe place. My classroom was the one place they could count on someone being there to love them. I was a safe place for these kids.

Now as much as I loved being in that position, time would have me change again. This time, to a place where I wasn’t such a safe place. These kids did not need me (or at least felt like they didn’t). The attitudes were indifferent, the gratitude was gone. I really struggled at first to see how in the world I could make a difference when my students were convinced they had everything the needed.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t my first year that I figured it out. It was my second and my third that really opened my heart. I realized that maybe I wouldn’t be able to reach all students, even though I try. But there is at least one in each class who needs someone they can trust; someone they can break down their barriers and let them truly see the inside that they keep.

It broke my heart when the first student really let me in their life. The amount of background some of these kids hide is disheartening. It sometimes makes you wonder how they even function. It’s no wonder some of them put up a tough-front at school. Some of them are simply caught in that worldly struggle: the one where they are fighting between being good and doing what they know is right, and doing what the world expects and wants them to do. Absolutely the struggle gets worse as the generations get older. It’s sad in the very least, but it does, unfortunately, exist.

I witnessed something that brought this whole thing up in my mind. A situation that brought up a whole slew of memories.

One of my students is running for class rep in the upcoming school year. She’s an awesome student, wonderful in both academics and her Christianity. Unfortunately, she is one in very few that does not struggle with desires to be popular. She will not swear because others are doing it. She does not talk about inappropriate things because she has no interest. She knows what she believes and she sticks to it. She knows what is right, and that is what she does. And it has made her unpopular in her class.

Today, the vote was completed. And though she almost perfectly fits the description of the position she is running for, more votes were left blank than were voted in favour. My heart sank and my blood boiled a little. If there were legitimately good reasons for not letting her have the position, then I would accept that. But I know it’s because they are upset the one person they wanted to run wasn’t able due to his grades. Whether it’s an expression of bitterness or anger, is it right to decline someone that not only wants the position, but is ready, willing and capable of doing it well?

I don’t know what the right solution is. After all, voting is an expression of your opinion. But my heart aches in knowing that the reasons behind the reactions are wrong. And that bothers me. Someone who perfectly is capable of doing something so well, being held back by unpopularity, is wrong. It takes me right back to my whole philosophy of teaching, and that is that students are capable of more than they are doing, and standing up for those who don’t have as much of a voice.

I grew up in public schools where situations are much worse than I have ever experienced in my years of private school. I have seen “losers” beat up for simply not being good enough for others. I have seen the separation and isolation of those who needed the extra pull-out help and did not think like the others. I have seen students dragged from classrooms because they were acting out in anger about their situations. It’s not pretty.

One year, we did a fundraiser where the boys provided a lunch, and we bid on these “anonymous lunches”. When the bidding was done and every girl had her lunch, then the boys would reveal themselves and we would share lunch with them. I just happened to get one of those classmates that was always taken out for extra help, and who had problems with his anger, reacting from the situations he was in and the way he was treated.

I will forever regret the way I treated him.

I didn’t say anything mean, but that’s simply because I didn’t say anything at all. I was silent the whole time. And now I cannot even go back and apologize for being “snobby” because he was killed in a car accident several years ago (I think I was still in high school). That’s guilt that I have to live with, and guilt that started to change the way I reacted to people.

The one girl that was dragged from our classroom was probably the lowest person in our class. She didn’t always take showers, and she didn’t come from the most well-off family. In fact, I actually don’t know how she was treated at home. But what I do know is that people didn’t like her and daily made fun of her. I will never forget the one day she came up to me and told me that I was her role-model. I didn’t try to be anyone’s role-model, I just tried to talk to her and be nice when others wouldn’t. And look at the difference that made on her life. The simplest of acts I could have done, and it literally changed her world.

Now I’d like to say others followed, but they didn’t. I’d like to say her life changed for the best, but it didn’t. I did manage to get in contact with her again during university, sadly to find out she was pregnant and the baby’s father wanted nothing to do with her as soon as she became pregnant. As a matter of fact, he ran out with another girl and married her very shortly afterwards. And to make matters worse, he called social services claiming she was an unfit mother and had her baby taken away. In no way did her life get better.

I’m sad to say I’ve lost contact with her. My only method of contact no longer seems to work. I do pray for her, that things work out and she’s able to have her baby back in her life. I know she was fighting hard for him. But I pray God’s love surrounds her and God-willing, I will be able to connect with her again.

I truly, truly do hate the world treats people that are different – people that stand out from everybody else. I had the position of popularity and I misused it once. But I promise to do my best to never misuse it again. When a situation arises where someone needs a voice, I wish to be that voice for them, to stand up on their behalf. Just because you don’t think the same as everyone else or do the same things everyone else does is not a reason to be treated so badly. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. Make a difference in someone’s life. Even if it’s just one person you’ve helped, you’ve literally just changed a person’s entire world. Do what you can and don’t delay. You never know the good you can leave behind.

The Great 2015 Return

Hello everyone.

I’d like to personally thank everyone that has not given up on my page even though I have been M.I.A. for the past (almost) month.

I’ve finished my challenge (I’ll post about it later), and didn’t win. But by the end of the challenge, my motivation was not to win, but simply to defeat my bad relationship with food, to build strength, to learn to love who I am, and to feel good both physically and mentally. I can proudly say I succeeded in those things. So was the challenge really a waste? Absolutely not.

I then finished the school year, was depressed that I wouldn’t be with my students for 2 weeks (yeah, I know… I’m the teacher that calls my students my kids), went to New Brunswick for 2 weeks to visit my family, had an awesome time while I was there, and came back to a computer that needed to be fixed.

It was a teacher’s nightmare. The older Mac versions no longer would support our grading system, meaning I had no access to my grades, no access to report card comments (due at the end of this month), no access to what assignments my students are missing or anything. Everything was unaccessible. AHHH!

Thankfully, we have some highly educated tech teachers at our school that took my computer, wiped it clean, installed the updates, and gave it back. The problem with that was that it took 4 days. My cord was also falling apart (older computer) and so he took that to repair it as well. That took almost a week to get back.

Even now, that I have my computer back, it has twice shown me signs (in two days) that my whole hardware may be crashing. Not a good sign. However, I have everything backed up, and the principal has been warned that I may need a new one. It definitely would be nice to have a new computer, but inconvenient at report card time. Pray for me!

So long story short, I’ve been without a computer for a very long time. But I’m back! So here’s to more posts in a new year.

Talk again soon!

Week 11 Day 4

God knew I’d need my car this morning. He knew my husband needed it to work last night. Because for the first time ever, my husband got called into work very early and I had to drive myself. The best part was, I was up so early so he could drop me off as per normal that I had time to eat, and take my time getting ready. I can’t lie, it was actually kind of nice!

Work went well today. It was busy, but everything seemed to be good. It was after school when things got crazy.

We had our second after-school tutoring session today and it seemed like a bigger mess to me this time than it did the first time. My head was swimming with names, grades and subjects trying to match up the tutors and tutees, and trying to make sure that everyone had someone to help them. We also had a few problems arise that we now have to address, but hopefully everything will run smoothly once those problems are dealt with.

When the students left, my room was a mess. Papers and pencils were everywhere, chairs all out of place, bins of books knocked over; it looked like a tornado had come through! I had to take a few minutes to clean it before I even decided to go home without any other school work. My mind couldn’t handle it tonight.

I got home (late) and expected to go to the gym right away. However, my husband was sleeping and did not wake up easily. In fact, we did not end up going to the gym until 2:30 in the morning! I know, we’re crazy; dedicated, but crazy.

I had a leg workout today and it didn’t quite start out the way I wanted. I had worked my squats back up to 95 lbs, even though it’s still a struggle. My form just is not right. But I’m tired of fighting my form and not being able to raise my weight.

Tonight was different because my husband came over to watch and give me constructive criticism. My form is terrible. I did more squats than normal, changing my foot placement, changing the placement of the bar on my back and shoulders, and making tons of different modifications to see what would help. It was more squats than I wanted to do, and we didn’t figure out the solution to my problem. But it was nice to work with my husband again, and more squats can never hurt… right?

The rest of the workout went well though it drained every ounce of energy I had. Between leg curls (prone and seated), leg extensions, leg press, bench jumps, calf raises (both seated and standing), plus several other exercises, you can bet I was walking funny by the end and knew the pain would be coming soon. It was a tiresome workout, but a good one.

I doubt I’ll go to sleep since we’re leaving the gym at 5, but we’ll just have to see what happens. One thing I know for sure is I’m leaving the gym STARVING and will be eating before I sit down at home. I have to feed this tired, muscle growing (I hope) body.

Week 6 Day 5

As per usual, today was not my worship day but simply an appreciation day which is always nice. As far as Spirit Week goes, each classroom was allowed to choose their own theme for the last day. So my students submitted their choices, I narrowed down a list of five, and they were allowed to vote (an enhancement of our social studies unit learning about democracy and voting by secret ballot). Overall, my students chose Twin Day which is where you and someone else dress the same. We had a lot of fun with this day. I partnered up with one of my students and we decided to dress in blue shirts and black pants. Nothing difficult, but easy and fun!

I was also approached for something I was hoping to avoid this year: Being the female sponsor for the Flag Football Tournament this weekend. I asked to be the last female teacher/staff to be approached, and wouldn’t you know, I had to go. The kids were excited because we had a lot of fun last year, but I also knew my husband was already complaining about all of the meetings and time my job is taking and this would be a complete weekend without seeing him. So I made an agreement. Because I was still getting my meals made for me, I would need access to at least a fridge and microwave. And they met my accommodations. And so I would go.

After school, I had two meetings scheduled for this day (not a good way to say good-bye to my husband…). A couple of my colleagues and I are working on starting up a tutoring group in our school. This of course meant a lot of looking at policies that other schools formed, and creating a set of forms and policies of our own. Throughout this meeting, that started late and went twice as long as it was supposed to, we finally had a plan with some final revisions to complete. But of course, this meant our next meeting started later too.

Our second meeting was a Core Group meeting where we meet and talk about issues that need to be talked about within our group and our plans for during the year. Our group is the downstairs group, the middle core, grades 5-8. And so these conversations took a very long time, and needless to say, I came home to a very unhappy husband.

We did make it to the gym, and I completed 3 circuits of focus on chest and triceps followed by 12 minutes of HIIT. It was a later night than I expected because I also tried to spend a bit of time with my husband before I left. But he still had to work the next morning and I had a ton of things I wanted to get done before I left. So to bed we went.

God Only Knows…

So the weirdest thing happened to me this week, and it can only be explained that God was providing me with what i needed before I knew it, and it happened in the strangest way. Here’s what it was:

As far as the dynamics of the school, grades 5-8 are all downstairs. Because we are all together, we share in our options classes. Junior High had an outdoor adventure this week, and so it was simply grade 5 and my grade 6s in our area.

Options happen every Tuesday and Thursday and prior to this year, we have ALWAYS cancelled Options during the week that Junior High was gone. And that’s why this year was so strange.

The grade 5 teacher came to me on Monday saying that he knew I needed a break and was considering teaching a his Choir class so that he would have both grades 5 and 6 and I would have a spare. Normally this would not be a spare for me anyways because I teach the Junior High French at the same time. And as much as he seemed to stress that I needed a break, I could not figure out why!

Tuesday came, and he told me he had decided to teach Choir that day and went out of his way to tell me that he would keep them as long as he could so I could have a break and was just making sure that everything was ok and convenient for me. I was in total disarray trying to figure out what I did to require such a break!

I knew Choir class was almost an hour, and decided to use my time wisely: hence the government call that I have blogged about earlier.

The best part is, not only was Choir scheduled for just shy of an hour, but he kept the kids overtime!

Now picture this: just gone through the worst, most frustrating call I’ve ever had with the government over such a huge issue in my life, got treated incredibly rudely on the phone, was left so emotional afterwards, and yet had the spare time to regroup myself. eat some food and manage to level out before my students returned. Now tell me that isn’t God’s timing!

You see, I didn’t plan on that call. I definitely didn’t plan on that spare! Yet for some reason, somehow, God impressed upon my co-worker that I needed that particular time that particular day with the right amount of time to deal with something I needed to deal with. I had no idea. I had no idea why things were going the way they were, and yet it all made sense in the end. God had this planned and provided me with what I needed to do it.

I cannot sing God’s praises enough. The very fact that He sees everything – the beginning and the end – and knows everything in between just humbles me. My God has it all under control before I even realize it. My God provides everything I will need when the time comes. My God is more powerful than I could ever imagine. My God is truly the God of Love.

Brain Breaks and Why They Are Important!

So as optimistic as I like to be, yesterday just did not turn out the way I thought it would. In fact, I was ready to throw in the towel, blow after blow. It seemed like so many negative items, so much negative news, so many changes to plans that weren’t beneficial no matter how I looked at. It was just all too much!

I ended up going for a drive; one of those drives that you sometimes wonder afterwards how you ever avoided accidents because your thoughts were a million miles away. I then went home and completely did not feel like doing anything. In fact, for the very few minutes I had, I walked my dogs, then sat on the bed in front of the fan. Naturally this was short-lived as I had to pick up my husband from work. 

My brain was just sunk. My blood pressure was guaranteed elevated, my positivity was on the downhill slope, my hope was crushed, my body paying the price. I felt miserable. I felt like this was it, that I’m already at my breaking point and the year hasn’t even begun. I began second-guessing myself, asking if this job really was for me, if I wasn’t as strong as other teachers, if maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was. But then something happened.

After picking up my husband from work, I put myself mentally in a place where I was just spending time with him. I wasn’t thinking about work. I wasn’t thinking about how in the world our finances are going to balance. I wasn’t thinking about all the stresses that I carry on my back right now. It was just him and I and quality time together. It gave my brain a break!

See, I used to laugh at people when they told me to take brain breaks in school. I used to think I was invincible. I used to think I could push myself to the utmost limits and even beyond. And quite honestly, I did. I used to work two jobs while going to university full time, in fact one semester I even had to request my credit limit be elevated in order to do 6 courses instead of my normal 5. Most mornings, I’d get off work, and wait around for my morning class because there simply wasn’t enough time to even go home and get changed before class started. I spent crazy hours working at work, being in school, and doing schoolwork.

The craziest thing that was an eye-opener to me was when friends used to come over to see if there was any way they could help me with my work or at least help keep me awake. Some nights, I don’t even remember what I said or did. I don’t drink, never have. I don’t do drugs, never even touched them. But out of pure exhaustion, my body and brain would continue on as if I were awake, and yet I was not truly awake. Countless times my friends would tell me the next day about the conversations we had and would be completely confused when I replied that I had no recollection of that conversation. They would tell me that I was sitting in the chair, looking straight at them, having conversations that made complete sense, and yet the truth was that I wasn’t actually awake. Isn’t that scary? As you can probably guess, this is right before my body crashed, and crashed hard.

You see, my brain was so used to running non-stop that even when my consciousness would rest, my subconscious continued in the exact way my consciousness would have. Thankfully I had good friends so safety was never an issue. But imagine it had been. I NEVER gave my brain a break. Not even a tiny one. 

Just because of the student I am, I have high expectations of myself as far as quality of work and grades go. I always received good grades, even in my tired state. But I know it wasn’t good for me. Sitting for hours doing homework, then spending hours between my two jobs, then hours and hours of classes. Everything was back-to-back and there was no break. My poor brain, seriously.

As a teacher, I am much more conscience of the brain breaks I give my students. I know that if they don’t get a break, then the work is going to decline in quality. That’s just the way it is. They easily get off track, derail to other topics, and just can’t focus. But give them a 2-5 minute brain break, and all of a sudden they’re energetic and ready to roll again. That’s what a brain break does.

So I challenge you to watch yourself. Watch how long you are actually causing your brain to continue working. And if you’re pushing your hours, get up and have a brain break. Whether it’s a simple exercise, a simple stretch, a change of topic, a small conversation with a co-worker or friend, anything that gets your mind off of the work you’re doing right now. Got time for a small nap? A mindless game? Great! Your brain needs that shift.

Don’t do what I did. I’ve lived out the mistake for you. Take care of yourself. You only have one body, so get it right the first time! Help it to remain healthy and see the advances it makes in your own life. Brain breaks are important!