Orange Island – Healing Journey Day 14

Journal:
Today is the day. I can hardly  believe it. Today is the day that I actually get to take a bite of fruit. Today is the day that I begin a 4-day orange island journey. What is “orange island?” It is where I will eat nothing but oranges for the next 4 days, as many oranges as I want. Now, I haven’t chosen to get so picky as to only select one variety of orange, but instead will be eating a mix of Valencia, Navel and Clementine. I’ve never done a fruit island before, so I’m excited to see what it will be like.

I didn’t get to sleep in this morning as I had a dentist appointment first thing. I was not looking forward to this dentist appointment as – if you remember from last week – there was a spot that grew into a cavity that needs to be fixed underneath an old filling. I could not be seen by the naked eye, but instead would require removing the old filling and replacing it with a new one. This would require a freezing needle, drills, and all of that jazz. However, they scared me enough with the possibility of a future root canal that I had agreed to get this done.

I did not want to go to this appointment with an empty stomach, so I quickly chopped up and ate three valencia oranges. Honestly… it wasn’t all the “fireworks” that I thought it would be. Sure, it was nice to actually have food to eat again, but I think I was just so used to juices at this point that the act of chewing actually took away from my satiation. It’s weird to describe but perhaps it is because you have to eat more to get the same calorie amount as simply opening your mouth and swallowing juice. I’m not sure but I have 4 days of eating oranges to figure it out. Either way, I got some food in my stomach and went to my appointment.

The appointment went well. I didn’t have any pain, but hated the swollen face from the freezing. It actually tired me out to be honest. I did manage to go get groceries after my appointment, but finally had to succumb to a nap when I got home. I was exhausted. Whether it was from stressing about the dentist appointment, or whether it was what my body went through at the dentist, I’m unsure. But I was completely exhausted and slept for a good couple hours.

I spent the rest of the afternoon shopping for the upcoming softball tournament with my housemate. We are in charge of the canteen that will be there so there was quite a bit we had to get. Because I work at a SDA school and this is a fundraiser for our school, everything is either vegan or vegetarian. No meat is sold which fits in so nicely with my own beliefs and morals. I’m just hoping the day is going to be a sunny, nice day.

After shopping again, I spent the evening laying around. I was still tired and looked forward to sleep. I didn’t eat near as much as I should have, but with the dentist trip and so much shopping, it was hard to have the time to eat enough oranges. I’m hoping to do better tomorrow.

Review of Symptoms:
-Underate. Went to bed hungry.
-Super tired today.
-Dry air is making me more dehydrated. Need to drink more water.
-No stomach upsets.

Weight at the end of the day = 176.6 (down a total of 12.2 lbs)

Total Calories = 708 (87% carbs, 5% fat, 8% protein)

Water Fasting w/ Lemon – Healing Journey Day 5

Journal:
Today was my final day of water fasting, but I did it with a twist: I added the slices of one lemon to my water. Why would I do this? I figured it would be a good transition between water fasting to juice feasting while also giving extra motivation the final day of no eating with a beautiful taste. Lemons also have the most minimal calories so it is almost like I’m consuming nothing anyways.

Let me tell you, that first taste of lemon water was absolutely divine! I have never had better tasting lemon water. It was so satisfying and just simply amazing.

When I woke up this morning, I actually felt like a fairly normal human being for once! I cannot describe how nice it was to wake up not feeling absolutely worn out and tired already. I actually slept off and on all night, waking up every couple of hours. I was expecting to be extremely tired this morning. However, my stomach was not burning and didn’t start burning until later though much milder than the previous day. My limbs were not cold even though I didn’t have the heater on and I was not as tired as I thought I would be; I was fairly wide awake. It was honestly the most amazing feeling after days of not feeling good at all. I hadn’t had any lemon water by this point so I’m not sure why the change happened, but I will honestly say that I have never been so thankful to feel good.

So as mentioned, the stomach burning did happen shortly after I got out of bed. It wasn’t near as bad as before, but still something noticeable. Honestly, it was so mild I barely noticed it throughout the day. But in the very first part of the morning, not only did my stomach begin to burn a little (again probably from my body metabolizing fat stores), but I felt a little weak walking around. What fixed that? The blessed lemon water. Again, I cannot tell you what the little flavour and tiny calories of lemon in my water is doing for my body. I did not even squeeze the lemon into it. I simply sliced up a lemon, put it in my water bottle, and kept refilling with water as I ran out. I feel more stable and stronger when I walk though I can still tell I’m looking for opportunities to sit when possible and my energy is not back to where it should be. Still, the improvement is huge!

I got through my work day fairly well, though once again, about half way through the day, I was still looking for any opportunity to sit down and limit my walking. Of course, as the day went on, the lemon began to lose its strength of flavour. But something is still better than nothing!

After I got home, I had energy enough to actually sit upstairs and have a conversation with my housemates which was awesome. I did end up coming downstairs to my part of the house and decided just to lay down and watch some YouTube. Partly to rest my body, and partly because it was a hot day and I wanted to wait for the heat to die down before I ran any errands. I probably laid down for about an hour watching YouTube videos and then somehow fell asleep.

I did not feel so good when I woke up. My stomach was hurting again and almost felt like my stomach muscles were cinching just not to the level of being “pinched”. It was a dull but constant pain and not a sharp pain. I got a touch of the same acid reflux/heartburn feeling that I had yesterday and though I tried to use the washroom with the same proper posture I used yesterday, there was no success. My energy literally felt like it was drained from my body while I slept although I continued to drink lemon water after I woke up.

I made myself get changed for the gym and made it out to my car. I was taking many deep breaths for the rest of the night. I had to go to the store to buy a cable to tie my dog outside as he chewed through his soft leash and there are gaps in the fence that he can easily fit through. The cable is 15 feet long and he’s a miniature dachshund so that is tons of room for him to go through almost the whole backyard. But after I was done going through the store, I felt winded and awful. Still, I made myself drive to the gym.

After I got to the gym parking lot, I knew I had to make a choice. I could either force myself to go in and do a small cardio workout and risk the chance of feeling even worse than I did, or just go home and see if I could sleep it off. I decided to go home and try to sleep it off.

I think today has truly been the weakest and most uncomfortable I have felt yet. It is not pleasant though I think it is so weird how good I felt in the morning to how awful I felt towards the evening.

At this point, I’m kind of nervous about how my body will react to the introduction of juice tomorrow. I am excited that it’s the closest to “food” that I will have consumed in 6 days, but at the same time, with the way I feel, I’m not sure what my body’s reaction will be. I only pray that it is a good reaction and that it will help my energy come back.

In total, though it felt like I drank more, I only had about 2L of water today. I did savour the lemon flavour.

Review of Symptoms:
Acne is noticeably better today. No new pimples again and instead of being a brighter red, they are starting to pale-down. That is something to celebrate. Stomach burning has gone down significantly becoming almost unnoticeable. Waking up feeling refreshed and “normal” was a treat. Sleep was lacking as I woke up every couple hours throughout the night. Something odd that I noticed was the veins in my hands are much more visible. I have pale skin to begin with, but I can see many more veins than usual. Stomach cramping in the evening. Energy zapped in the evening.

Weight at the end of the day = 180.8 lbs (down 1.8 lbs in 24 hours, down a total of 8 lbs in 96 hours)

Total Calories = ~15-20 calories

There’s Nothing Like Having Your Own Computer

I have considered myself to be a little technologically disadvantaged lately. My husband’s computer is not working, and my computer stopped working. I could move the mouse, but even though the mousepad sounded like it was clicking, the computer would not technologically let it click on anything. How frustrating!! Thankfully, because the school purchased our computers with AppleCare, it was able to go into the shop and be fixed. However, this does take time… and so I was over a week without my computer.

Sorry peeps, there was a good reason I wasn’t writing.

You know, I’m the type of person that actually enjoys unplugging from the world for awhile. I like being without technology from time to time. My high dependence on technology for work is what usually gets me, plus the fact I manage our household bills/budgets online as well as communication to my family who live far away.

And as much as I like to unplug, just because my computer quit working didn’t mean my job stopped. I still had to teach on a stand-in computer. And when you have a computer that you cannot save anything on, that doesn’t have all the files you need, that isn’t the same as yours, it just makes things a little more difficult. Plus, I couldn’t take it home. It was only for use at work.

So let me tell you, I’m happy I have my computer back. I have everything I need back. I have all of my familiarity back.. though it did take a few minutes for it to sink in that my computer was my computer. It feels a little like “home”.

So I’m back, and I’ll be writing again! Thanks for sticking around!

Choosing Your Battles

Now, in many relationship advice books or forums, people will tell you to choose your battles. Of course, this comes in incredibly handy in relationships because, quite frankly, nobody is going to be the same as you. Especially when you live together, you are then trying to fit two lives into one and there will be many conflicting issues when two opinions are trying to melt into one.

However, my story doesn’t focus on a relationship per se. But it is about learning to deal with the small stuff, and only making a big deal over big things so that people have no way to argue back with you.

When my husband and I got our first apartment, it was in a “fixed” state. And what I mean by that is simply that the people before us were very rough on the place, having big parties and crazy enough to throw a couch off the deck into someone’s car below. Needless to say, they were kicked out, and all the stickers on the fan blades, the dirt and garbage throughout the place, and patch work here and there needed to be done. It wasn’t perfect when we got it, but it was our first place and that was all that mattered.

As time would go on, the lack of a screen door on our deck (the previous tenants had smashed that), had started wilting the corner of the door inwards. We mentioned it several times for almost a year, but it apparently wasn’t a big issue. We also had a screen missing in our bedroom window which was mentioned, but that never got fixed either. My husband wanted to stop paying our rent and be a little more forceful when it came to getting these simple repairs done, but I took the much gentler approach and said that we’ll just wait a little longer.

Now, as you can imagine, when those -40 winter days come, having an exposed corner of your door to the outside was a huge issue. When I could sit on my couch and see the snow outside on my deck through the one corner, that was an issue. Unfortunately nobody did anything about it. We kept being promised that something would happen, but it didn’t. And after a year and a half of being there, I decided that it was finally time to make a little noise. So I found the e-mail for the CEO of the rental company, thanked him for making cheaper places available and for having pet allowance (that a lot of places don’t), I simply explained to him our situation and reminded him how awful it was going to be on another -40 night. My door was fixed within 2 days. Now, I also had my fridge quit, and that was replaced right away. Had I complained and been more forceful about everything, I don’t think this would have been the case.

In my e-mail to the CEO, I also mentioned I was planning to move to another one of the company’s rental properties simply for being closer to work, and without asking, in apologizing for what we had been through, he waived our transition fee and got me an apartment rather quickly. I also had an ex-landlord of our current property (she was promoted higher in the company) call and offer any assistance in the transition I needed. Now think about that for a moment. I chose my battle. I didn’t battle every little thing. When you have lots of little incidences built up, people can see where you’re coming from over the bigger things and are usually more than willing to help you out.

Fast forward to our new place. In the year we’ve been here, we moved in with 2 broken sets of blinds (still never been replaced), a missing screen in our office window, the basement leaked every time it rained, our basement completely flooded twice, and just recently our tub quit draining. Now of course, my husband wants to take the same forceful approach because in reality, it is ridiculous. However, they did fairly quickly respond to the flooding, it took them about a year to fix the cracks in the basement, but they still did it, and it’s now taken them 5 days to fix our tub, plus I will have to call them back tomorrow because the piping from the tub is still dripping over our kitchen counter. But I haven’t made a big deal about any of it, and I choose not to because the more compliant you are over the small things, the more compliant they will usually be when it comes to something big.

So people, choose your battles. Don’t make a huge deal about everything or people will treat you as that “complainer”. But be patient with the small things, and you watch how much people will do what they can for you when it comes to a big thing.

The Great 2015 Return

Hello everyone.

I’d like to personally thank everyone that has not given up on my page even though I have been M.I.A. for the past (almost) month.

I’ve finished my challenge (I’ll post about it later), and didn’t win. But by the end of the challenge, my motivation was not to win, but simply to defeat my bad relationship with food, to build strength, to learn to love who I am, and to feel good both physically and mentally. I can proudly say I succeeded in those things. So was the challenge really a waste? Absolutely not.

I then finished the school year, was depressed that I wouldn’t be with my students for 2 weeks (yeah, I know… I’m the teacher that calls my students my kids), went to New Brunswick for 2 weeks to visit my family, had an awesome time while I was there, and came back to a computer that needed to be fixed.

It was a teacher’s nightmare. The older Mac versions no longer would support our grading system, meaning I had no access to my grades, no access to report card comments (due at the end of this month), no access to what assignments my students are missing or anything. Everything was unaccessible. AHHH!

Thankfully, we have some highly educated tech teachers at our school that took my computer, wiped it clean, installed the updates, and gave it back. The problem with that was that it took 4 days. My cord was also falling apart (older computer) and so he took that to repair it as well. That took almost a week to get back.

Even now, that I have my computer back, it has twice shown me signs (in two days) that my whole hardware may be crashing. Not a good sign. However, I have everything backed up, and the principal has been warned that I may need a new one. It definitely would be nice to have a new computer, but inconvenient at report card time. Pray for me!

So long story short, I’ve been without a computer for a very long time. But I’m back! So here’s to more posts in a new year.

Talk again soon!

Week 12 Day 1: Squat Victory and Tips!

I can’t believe this is the last week of the challenge. Oh man. And you know, I started this challenge with the mindset of: I have to win! I’m proud to say I’m finishing this challenge with the mindset of: I don’t care if I win, I’ve come so far in my mentality and strength. I’m happy!

Today was another low-key day. It’s warmer outside, (-25 C) but still not something you want to go take a walk in.

More household chores got done (I’m so productive in the morning!), and we went out for groceries. We also stopped by the school to see if my car would start. Now, keep in mind that car has been sitting in deep snow, not plugged in, for 3 days. Absolutely frozen. Yet, what did that car do when my husband turned the key? Started as if it were a warm, summer day outside. Man, I love that car! I can understand its initial shock to the temperature and storm on Friday. I can sympathize about that. But it got used to the fact the weather is here, and it amazed me by starting and running without a problem! What a car!

We went home after our errands to eat before the gym. My husband just happened to fall asleep and took a nap. And it just so happened that a girl posted a couple squatting videos that were about 45 minutes in total. The videos reviewed everything that you should do right and everything that you could do wrong when it comes to squats. It literally broke the whole process down step by tiny step. It was so convenient these videos were posted today because I had to do squats today. I took many mental notes, and looked forward to trying this out. After all, squats have been a 3-year frustration for me.

When we got to the gym, I did my quick 5-minute warm-up on the treadmill. I then got ready and headed straight for the squat rack. I did my first set of 15 with much lower weight than normal (65 lbs) focussing on all the tips for my squats. I felt really good about them, but of course it’s always easier for someone to watch you and critique. So I went and got my husband. I simply did one rep, and my husband freaked out that I did it perfectly! I then explained to him what I had watched, the step-by-step of what I did, and just was so happy. 3 years of frustration, finally, finally fixed.

It took a long time for me to finish my 4 sets of squats. I was so focused on making sure my squat was in proper form, and adding weight each time. I was so tired and sore by the time I was done, and yet I had 8 more exercises to do. All of them were 4 sets today of 12-15 reps. I fought crying so many times. I could barely walk. But somehow, I managed to get through the workout, and went home without an ounce of energy to spare. It was killer. Cardio wasn’t even a thought today. I was dead.

We did go home, and we ate and got ready for bed. My poor body was used and needed the rest. What an awesome, awesome workout.

**If you are interested in watching these videos as well, here are the links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPNmkTIQTpM&feature=youtu.be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtPN-ftmxG8&feature=youtu.be

Week 9 Day 6

As one can only imagine, I felt awful when I woke up today. After having so many dreams last night, I felt like I had lived several nights in one. But I got up, ate some breakfast, then took care of my babies, took a shower and got ready for my chiropractor and acupuncture appointments that I was really looking forward to today. After this week, I needed the relaxing and adjustment times. But that’s when the problem began.

My car would not start. I don’t think it was just that the temperature was almost -30 Celsius, but something that won’t even allow the motor to really turn over more than once. The biggest thing is that I remember my car doing this last winter, I just don’t remember how we fixed it. But what really stressed me is that I missed my appointments. I called in of course, but this week I could have really used those appointments, so I was very upset.

I came in, and decided that since my car wouldn’t work, I should at least try to finish my work. But to no avail. My eyes were burning, my body just in a hateful mode, and my head had the worst headache I’ve ever had. So really I had no choice but to try and keep sleeping it off.

But wouldn’t ya know, this would be the day my dogs would decide to be whiney. I walked them twice as much as normal, even though I felt terrible, and I was just miserable with my body begging me to sleep.

I eventually did sleep and went through several more dreams as my brain continued to try and filter through the last few days, and as much as I hoped I would get rid of the headache, it was still there when I was woken up by my husband coming home.

He took me out for supper, and he graciously took me to the gym, even though it was his designated day off. I powered through as much of my workout as possible, and had to quit half way through. My body wanted to workout so badly, but as much energy as my body had, my head pounded harder with each exercise I did. I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t stop, but I also knew how unhappy I’d be if I didn’t get at least something done. I hated it. My body was going through the exercises with ease, only being stopped by the pain in my head. I just want to workout!!!

So I’m back home now, and laying in bed with my pounding head. Medicine doesn’t seem to touch it. I will be back at the gym tomorrow. I need to workout. My body needs the energy release and is tired of being dormant, and sitting, and grading. But for tonight, sleep in on the agenda. Hopefully, I’ll finally feel like a normal person again.

Week 5 Day 5: The Revelation

Sorry guys. I realized I had made a mistake and quickly changed it! Yesterday was not the revelation day, today was and somehow I mixed up the names! Sorry about that. It’s now fixed 🙂

So every Thursday at work, instead of a normal worship, we have “Thankful Thursdays” where we go around saying the appreciations we’ve had. It’s a great thing to do, and one of the things I reflected on was my class this year. Not that they are perfect, not that they are always easy, but that I’ve seen maturity in them, even in the way they accept their consequences. I am so proud of them and look forward to helping them the rest of this year.

Following worship, we went about the usual day but I was so happy to welcome them into my classroom this morning. And when they went to gym, I sat and reflected on something that completely dawned on me: I’ve been happy, truly happy. I don’t know why, I don’t really know anything about it other than I felt completely and totally happy. Can I just say WOW? What a feeling! To be honestly happy. It’s amazing. I know my food and workouts have been going great, I’ve been taking care of all the medical issues, there have been major improvements, my husband is working and hopefully we’ll get his FBI check soon so he can have residency soon, I’m still in debt, but I’m happy. And that says something!

The day went well. We were planning a surprise wedding shower for our principal and it went amazing! We had a million laughs, and come to find out, this was their only shower, and she had never been successfully surprised before! We did awesome!

Now of course you’re probably wondering about my food choices while at this shower. So here is what I did. I ate half of one of my meals before I went. I then allowed myself a small selection on a small plate. I normally would have tried some of everything, but I limited myself. I was hungry for seconds, but I only allowed myself a plate of veggies. I did very well! Though in hind sight, I would have been alright white a lot of those things. They didn’t even seem worth it. Way too much sugar after being without refined sugars. I will know better next time.

We also had a staff meeting afterwards which of course meant that it was a late work night. But I still made it to the gym and had an awesome workout! Tonight was a circuit of shoulders, arms, chest and abs followed by 12 minutes of HIIT.

And of course, here are my meals for the day:

Meal 1

I had to cook this one a little more at home. I like my meat well done. This is a potato mash with egg whites, steak and a tomato.

Meal 2

I ate this one before I could get a picture last time. Homemade hummus with carrots, celery and rice crackers.

Meal 3

A tuna salad wrap with apples. Absolutely yummy!

Meal 4

So apparently I ate this one before a picture was taken. Sorry! It was cottage cheese with cinnamon and a very fine chop of honeydew and cantaloupe.

Meal 5

I didn’t take a picture of this one because you saw it yesterday. But since I don’t eat pork, the other option was to have the same chicken salad I had yesterday. I was so happy to eat it again. Yum!