Choosing Your Battles

Now, in many relationship advice books or forums, people will tell you to choose your battles. Of course, this comes in incredibly handy in relationships because, quite frankly, nobody is going to be the same as you. Especially when you live together, you are then trying to fit two lives into one and there will be many conflicting issues when two opinions are trying to melt into one.

However, my story doesn’t focus on a relationship per se. But it is about learning to deal with the small stuff, and only making a big deal over big things so that people have no way to argue back with you.

When my husband and I got our first apartment, it was in a “fixed” state. And what I mean by that is simply that the people before us were very rough on the place, having big parties and crazy enough to throw a couch off the deck into someone’s car below. Needless to say, they were kicked out, and all the stickers on the fan blades, the dirt and garbage throughout the place, and patch work here and there needed to be done. It wasn’t perfect when we got it, but it was our first place and that was all that mattered.

As time would go on, the lack of a screen door on our deck (the previous tenants had smashed that), had started wilting the corner of the door inwards. We mentioned it several times for almost a year, but it apparently wasn’t a big issue. We also had a screen missing in our bedroom window which was mentioned, but that never got fixed either. My husband wanted to stop paying our rent and be a little more forceful when it came to getting these simple repairs done, but I took the much gentler approach and said that we’ll just wait a little longer.

Now, as you can imagine, when those -40 winter days come, having an exposed corner of your door to the outside was a huge issue. When I could sit on my couch and see the snow outside on my deck through the one corner, that was an issue. Unfortunately nobody did anything about it. We kept being promised that something would happen, but it didn’t. And after a year and a half of being there, I decided that it was finally time to make a little noise. So I found the e-mail for the CEO of the rental company, thanked him for making cheaper places available and for having pet allowance (that a lot of places don’t), I simply explained to him our situation and reminded him how awful it was going to be on another -40 night. My door was fixed within 2 days. Now, I also had my fridge quit, and that was replaced right away. Had I complained and been more forceful about everything, I don’t think this would have been the case.

In my e-mail to the CEO, I also mentioned I was planning to move to another one of the company’s rental properties simply for being closer to work, and without asking, in apologizing for what we had been through, he waived our transition fee and got me an apartment rather quickly. I also had an ex-landlord of our current property (she was promoted higher in the company) call and offer any assistance in the transition I needed. Now think about that for a moment. I chose my battle. I didn’t battle every little thing. When you have lots of little incidences built up, people can see where you’re coming from over the bigger things and are usually more than willing to help you out.

Fast forward to our new place. In the year we’ve been here, we moved in with 2 broken sets of blinds (still never been replaced), a missing screen in our office window, the basement leaked every time it rained, our basement completely flooded twice, and just recently our tub quit draining. Now of course, my husband wants to take the same forceful approach because in reality, it is ridiculous. However, they did fairly quickly respond to the flooding, it took them about a year to fix the cracks in the basement, but they still did it, and it’s now taken them 5 days to fix our tub, plus I will have to call them back tomorrow because the piping from the tub is still dripping over our kitchen counter. But I haven’t made a big deal about any of it, and I choose not to because the more compliant you are over the small things, the more compliant they will usually be when it comes to something big.

So people, choose your battles. Don’t make a huge deal about everything or people will treat you as that “complainer”. But be patient with the small things, and you watch how much people will do what they can for you when it comes to a big thing.

A Maritime Way of Life

Recently, I have returned from my vacation visiting my family in New Brunswick for almost two weeks. I love returning home. There truly is no place like home. ❤

Going home is so important to me each year because it’s a break away from my daily “big city life”. Home, is a wee bit of redneckville mixed with a slow-paced existence. It’s the perfect combination.

In New Brunswick, it is totally and regularly possible that you may be the only car on the highway at any given time. Let me repeat that: At any time, you may be the only vehicle on the highway. That NEVER happens in the city.

Famous Hartland Covered Bridge. The longest one left standing!

New Brunswick is full of trees and rivers. Not just any trees either. New Brunswick is called the “Picture Province” for a reason: it has the most BEAUTIFUL variety of autumn colours you’ll ever see. And since the forests are everywhere with gorgeous lakes running through the province, the view is breath-taking. One day my mom and I even played “tourist” in our own province because it was such a beautiful day and the scenery along the drive overwhelmed us. It’s amazing when your own province can cause those awe-inspired feelings inside of you. I can tell you certainly the city does not do that for me at all.

In New Brunswick, nobody ever seems in a hurry. I’m sure people may be rushed for appointments or work in the morning, but honestly, you never feel a sense of rushing around. There seems to be so much time, so much laid-backness that you don’t get that crazy time-strapped feeling. Can you imagine life that way? I think it’s definitely something I used to take for granted when I lived there. I would give anything not to feel that way here in the city… the city that never has enough time for all that you need to do. And maybe that’s just the point…

In a smaller province, you don’t see as many people working themselves to death. New Brunswickers know how to have fun and how to get work done in a smaller amount of time. Families have time for families. Now, granted, a lot of people are on welfare because the economy is not the greatest, but even the people who do work still get together in LARGE groups of friends and spend time with their families every day. I can tell you as a big city teacher, this is something I don’t see often.

Now, why did I put LARGE groups of friends above? Well, when you live in smaller places, you know more people, and generally, in smaller places, all of the people get together. If someone’s having a party at their house, feel free to stop in. It’s an open door policy. Everybody knows everybody, and if you don’t know someone, know that you will be going through the stages of figuring out whether you’re to be trusted and accepted in the group or not.

It truly is an open door policy. People have less places to be, and more time to be home. So if you feel like visiting anyone, there is rarely a chance you need to call before going over. In fact, people LOVE when you stop in to visit. All the time I just go over to whoever’s house and knock on the door and never once will you be turned away unless of course someone is busy which of course, as stated above, doesn’t usually happen. And even if they are busy, they will stop to talk. It’s just the way they generally are.

Four-Wheelers (also known as ATVs or Quads) and snowmobiles are accepted methods of transportation and are regularly used. Due to the economy in the Maritimes, New Brunswickers use four-wheelers and snowmobiles as cheap methods of transportation. Most places in the country areas or small towns are accessible by these methods, and thus save on money. Gas is also more expensive in NB so it saves on gas as well. They are also a form of recreation. I basically grew up on a four-wheeler; it was the first real thing I learned how to drive on my own. I LOVED when my entire family would go on day trips. We’d make a stop at the local convenience store for gas and some snacks (all 8 wheelers of us) and then head out for the day. Most of NB’s railways have been dug up, so the trails that are left are super easy to travel on, not to mention the off road trails we’d venture out on. In the city, you don’t even have a chance to do this unless you have a truck to haul your machine outside the city to some acceptable place. In NB, go out into your back yard and begin.

There is rarely a person who will walk by without saying hello to you, nor a car that will drive by without waving at you. The reason for this? Most NBers are just friendly people. Definitely not a city thing…

Snowmobile parking lots truly exist in the winter.

New Brunswickers aren’t worried about the newest and greatest things. They could care less if they owned everything designer or if their house was brand new. In fact, that’s one thing I love about New Brunswick. They maintain houses that are hundreds of years old, some that are still cared for and lived in by families. You don’t get sick of seeing the same house after the same house as you do in the city. You actually get to see real architecture, large mansions of houses from people of old, molded tin ceilings, stained-glass windows, etc… The houses are simply beautiful! And even some houses that aren’t as grand that are 50+ years old are still loved and lived in, in New Brunswick. People (mostly) have respect for items. It’s not a “Oh I’ll just wait until the next one comes out… ” or “I need a new _________ that’s bigger and better.” They simply live for what they can afford and don’t lay around complaining about what they don’t have. I mean, here in the city, people complain, there are massive line-ups for items to come out the next day, people are throwing away perfectly functional items just because they’ve become “outdated”. It’s such a breath of fresh air to go to somewhere that people aren’t completely consumed with consumerism. People know and can appreciate a good find at the DollarStore. People know how to hunt for bargains that will keep them going. Brand new cars? Aside from my mother, my step father and myself, I can’t really tell you anyone else in my family who has ever bought a new car. They always buy used because it’s cheaper and it gets them by. I love the whole mindset. In fact, in this recent trip, my father quoted me this, “I don’t look at things as how long I can afford them; I look at things as how long can I keep them.” Amazing.

It’s so much more family-oriented. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s rare for a family not to spend regular time together. And I’m not talking just the parents and kids, I mean aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. Everytime I go home, I spend the majority of my time visiting relatives because that’s who I grew up with and was close to. My great aunts and uncles, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, my parents and siblings, my great grandmothers, everyone. I grew up in a close but large family, and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. From what I gather from most of my students, many of them rarely see their extended family. In fact, it’s usually only for family reunions. I love that I don’t have to wait for a reunion. I just get up and go, knock on the door, and then sit for hours talking. It’s seriously the best.

I’m sure I could keep writing on this topic and all the things I love about the Maritime life. And of course, these won’t apply to everyone. But being born a small-town, Maritime (NB) girl, I still feel this way about my province every time I go home. In fact, my dad commented how I still call NB home, but that’s because it always will be. I love the way of life there and it will always be my breath of fresh air.

God Cares, Even About the Small Things

I know, for myself, and possibly for others, it is so easy to retreat to our knees to ask God for help in the big things, but not always such a normal thing to go to our knees over small things. I’ve heard some people say that God doesn’t need to be troubled with our little things. But here’s the deal: God cares about it all, big and small.

Last week, I was on track to be at least 5 minutes late for my chiropractor appointment. In fact, with all the lights and traffic in the city, there should have been no way to even make it on time.

However, I prayed. Not on my knees, but in my head as I started out the driving, looking at the clock on my dash, realizing I was in trouble. And you know what happened? I hit every green light along the way (around 6), and even had a parking spot in a very non-parking friendly area. And the best part about it was: I even had 7 minutes to spare! There is now way that should have been possible. Especially not driving through a heavy pedestrian area. I couldn’t believe it!

So moral of the story, God cares about even the small things. Anything that seems important to us is important to God. He may not always have the answer we want (because God knows best), but He does have THE answer. Pray, no matter what!

Day 9

I woke up several times through the night last night, each time feeling like I was ready to get up and start my day. Something is going on with my sleep and somehow I need to get down to the bottom of it.

I had a later breakfast this morning, well after I got to work. I drank 1.75L of pulpy orange juice.

The juice ended up being both my snack and lunch. I was handed back my students’ PATs to grade for myself, something I had not done in past years. If you can imagine my students writing stories and newspaper articles for 2-3 hours each, and then me trying to get these graded… it’s taking forever!

As an afternoon snack, I ate my last mini red banana, two small tangerines, and two small apricots.

By the time the day was done, I was drained. And yet I looked at my grading table (overloaded), and I looked at the PATs that were only half-graded, and my pile of ESL papers I was returned to also grade. There’s no way I should leave it like this. So I spent an hour and a half finishing the PATs, grading Bible books and Spelling tests. I even managed to get Handwriting books graded. But after that, I left knowing my mental capacity was seriously about to break.

Meanwhile, as I was dying mentally, I started thinking of all the fast food places I could go. I started thinking of Wendy’s, of Subway, of tonnes of places. I even started thinking some ice cream and a nice big burger would be so good right now. I must have spent a good 20-30 minutes grading and trying to talk myself out of going somewhere and just eating at home. My mental exhaustion was getting a bit extreme.

Somehow, I drove myself straight home. I defeated all of those tempting thoughts I had. I sat down to some corn chip crumbs mixed with some salsa. I also took out the fresh mango cake I made last night and ate about a quarter of it. I also had got this Natur-a Cappuccino Soy Beverage. Oh my goodness. So good. I’m going to finish this thing tonight! I also wanted something not so sweet, and there weren’t enough chips left to satisfy me (literally crumbs left), so I made some popcorn with salsa on it. This is when I realized how hard it is to give up dairy. That was the only reason I couldn’t do vegan before. I like butter and cheese. But I’m doing it for my health and the welfare of animals, so I have to keep my mental battle going.

I went to the gym and did an awesome circuit of jump rope, overhead squats, walking lunges, push-ups and planks. I did my chiropractor’s exercises and left feeling amazing.

After returning home, I finished that Natur-a Cappuccino Soy Beverage. Oh yum! Wish I had one of these every day!

As a last meal, I blended up my last 4 organic bananas from my first Organic Box. They were pretty much as ripe as they could be before they started going bad. I blended them with some unsweetened almond milk, 2 medjool dates, and a tablespoon of organic coconut palm sugar. It was a yummy, filling way to end the night.

Back on Track

I have to admit, I have taken a long break from tracking my food. I didn’t always make the best food decisions, didn’t always eat as often as I should, and though I made sure I made choices with protein in them, I didn’t always aim to have the most protein either.

I also haven’t been going to the gym for about a month between being sick and hurting my rib. I basically “quit” my everyday life for a bit of time.

Normally it would bother me as I reached a higher weight and then somehow stayed there (my own fault). But the fact I was maintaining was also a sort of good thing as my weight was not continuing to rise. I chose to look at it as somewhat of a healing phase as well. I needed to rest and not stress about lack of gym time.

My clothes don’t fit the way they used to. Obviously I’ve gained some size. But instead of that causing my world to crash, I decided to focus on how I felt otherwise. In fact, a pair of dress pants that used to be too big for me now look awesome on me (as much as I don’t encourage that type of transformation).

But after all this, and really not wanting to go back to the task of tracking, I’m back. I’ve set my calories at 2000 (I’ll explain reasons why later). My protein is set at 0.8 per pound of bodyweight. And this is my first day back to tracking.

My workouts (I’ve done 3 so far), are modified in such a way that allows my rib muscle to still heal and yet lightly work at the same time. What I’ve noticed is that mainly and PUSH motion is what aggravates it the most so I avoid those. But a lot of things I thought I’d have to go super light weight in, I’m actually as strong, if not stronger. The month off from the gym honestly did nothing in hindering my strength progress.

Sometimes it’s all about listening to your body. Do I wish I controlled what I ate a little more? Yeah, I probably do. But I’m not going to let that ruin my happiness and motivation for the future. So I’m back to working out, and I’m back to eating properly. Let’s see how this goes!

Truck Respect

So as I’ve already mentioned, my husband’s truck is a beast of a truck. It has a 3-inch lift kit, and is a Dodge Ram 3500. It’s a big truck.

A dark picture, but you can see how little it makes the Charger look.

Last night as we were driving home from the restaurant (my sister’s birthday and my dad was in town), we were on a road where I had to move across four lanes, merging as I went (nothing immediately causing me to cross all four at once).

Of course some lanes were empty, some were not. I was consistently checking my mirrors and shoulder checking to see when it would be clear. But to my surprise, as I was merging into one lane, a car had sped up and either merged right behind me or simply just came up quickly behind me. Either way, it honestly looked like a close call.

I was already in an emotional state after saying good-bye to Jewel, and then already having survived a few accidents myself, something that looked so close put me in a bit of alarm. But it was at that moment that I noticed something.

My husband, who was following me in his truck, immediately put on his signal to turn into my lane. He was up beside the car that had almost rear-ended me. And you know what happened? The car backed off and let him in.

Wow!

There were a couple other incidents on my drive that I just watched and noticed how if I did something, the other vehicles didn’t notice and/or didn’t care. But if my husband did it in his big truck right behind me, they all of a sudden seemed to care and get out of his way. Amazing how that works!

And so I have termed this incidence: truck respect. Seriously, the city people are either afraid of the big trucks or something. But without a doubt, there is some major road respect which I admit was pretty awesome. I felt safer knowing I had my guardian husband and his guardian truck at my back the whole way. And as God was with the both of us, we travelled safely.

What do you think? Have you noticed any “truck respect” on the roads? What are your thoughts about big trucks in the city? (Hint: I used to not like them, they do seem to take up too much room. But when it comes to safety, I have an all new respect!)