An Unusual Date Night

Life can get hectic – we all know and have experienced that. But sometimes, your love life is what suffers most, especially when you’re having a hard time finding time to get the things you need to get done, done. It’s an awful cycle to get into. But what if you could turn “tasks” into dates? Here’s an example of what I mean:

I didn’t buy my used car that long ago (2 years?) but we know that it’s going to have some major work needed soon. It’s ten years old, and it’s been a wonderful car. But the price in work that it will need done far surpasses what the car is worth, so we’re starting to look at getting a new car.

I hate the idea of spending a ton of money, I really do. And especially because I know we can’t afford a new car right now, the thought of looking at vehicles does not appeal to me at all. However, my husband wants an idea ahead of time what I want so he can work towards getting me something I like. I guess it’s kind of a motivating goal for him to know what I want so he can work towards that thing.

Last night, he asked me if I would go looking at cars with him since it was Sunday and the dealerships close early. It would give us the privacy to walk the lot, look at the vehicles from the outside without being interrupted by a car salesman which I can get so intimidated by. I’d rather have my time to at least identify what type of vehicle I’m looking for before being pursued to purchase anything.

My husband’s been after me for awhile to do anything like this, and I’ve been avoiding it. But especially because vehicles have been his new love, I decided to go more for him than anything. But you know what? I couldn’t have made a better decision. First of all, he was excited I had said yes. Secondly, we went to Starbucks to get a drink to take around with us. Thirdly, it really was kind of like a date, getting to know what each other liked about vehicles, browsing around after hours, not having any outside pressures, and just spending time together. It was actually really nice.

So instead of thinking about the mundane tasks all of the time, maybe think of ways you can incorporate tasks with your spouse and make it more of a date. It can totally change something you hate (I really hated looking at vehicles the four times we’ve done it before). Spend your time together, and make the best of every situation that you can. You and your spouse promised to share your lives together, so share even the smallest of tasks. It can have a way of improving you life all around. 🙂

Supporting Your Husband – It’s Not Easy

Supporting you husband… this is not always an easy topic. Sure, when you’re getting along and all is right in the world, it is easy to do things for your husband – happiness just works that way. But what about the times he’s upset you? What about the times he seems so selfish and careless towards you or doesn’t take the time to appreciate anything you do? It’s not so easy then… That’s when bad thoughts start seeping in… “Don’t appreciate me doing your laundry? Do it yourself!” “Do you have to drink out of 10 glasses a day? Do you own dishes!” “Leave your stuff all over the house? I quit!” “This is the third year you’ve done nothing and ‘forgot’ our anniversary? Why are we even married?” Ok… so hopefully it doesn’t get to the point of the last one, but you get the point.

I can honestly say I’ve had my fair share of these kinds of thoughts, but I know it’s wrong and really fight against them. However, I’m human and still fall short of my respecting goals at times. So what do I do?

Well, lately I’ve been returning to the Bible. I cannot tell you how much I admire the women I’ve seen that honestly seem to respect their husbands no matter what. I mean, you can never really tell what goes on behind the scenes. But those women who clearly put their husbands first inspire me so much! So the Bible, the ultimate tale of love, is where I turn to. And you know what happens? I begin to realize how I need to act again.

My husband and I had a so-so night last night. Parts of it were good, but he’s struggling with a few things and handles it differently than I would. So of course, I want to set him straight, to tell him how to fix things and how to do it “my way”. Even now as I’m writing this, that’s starting to sink in… it’s my way. Wow… I’m trying to make him do things MY way. Me. It’s all about me. Ugh… sometimes reality really results in humility. He’s not me.. He shouldn’t have to do everything MY way. Ugh…

Anyways, after going out for supper, we came home, and he wanted to nap before going to the gym because he was exhausted. Of course, both him and I knew this meant he probably wouldn’t get up to go to the gym, but I didn’t make a deal about it because I’d rather him feel better than not. I was not as exhausted, and woke up at 1:30 a.m. I had the option to stay in bed and sleep, or realize that he doesn’t have any clean work shirts for tomorrow, and that would really start his day off badly if he did not have any clean work shirts to wear. He’s in the sales business and looking good is part of the job. So instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I quietly snuck out of the bedroom, careful not to wake him up, and came downstairs to do a couple loads of laundry. Now, he didn’t treat me like something great last night, and quite frankly, there are some nights I’m glad he goes to sleep so we can wake up and start a new day, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I still love this man and I married him for a reason.

I think too many of us forget that part. We get too caught up in the stresses of life and whether we want to admit it or not, neither our partners nor us are perfect. We just aren’t. We don’t always treat each other like we should. Jobs get in the way. Responsibilities get in the way. Bills and money issues hugely get in the way. And that’s even without raising children in the picture! But it doesn’t hurt to take a step back every once in a while and truly think about why you even married that person in the first place. Make a list of the things you have liked/still like about that person. Focus on the good, and not the bad.

My husband works long hours to try and support me. He took a risk changing careers which hasn’t wielded all the results he expected it to right away which is a lot of his stress lately. I know he deals with it badly because he wants to be the breadwinner, he wants to be able to get me anything in the world that I could want. I so admire him for that. And to be honest, I don’t just admire him for that, I know that he puts in more hours than anyone else he works with and I believe that he will get to the level he wants just because he tries so hard. He’s incredible that way. He also was brave enough to even take a risk, one that I don’t think I would have had the guts to do. He’s not afraid of bugs and handles them for me, but not like anything you’re probably thinking. My husband taught me a dear lesson in life, and that’s the fact that just because bugs are annoying, they still were given life as a gift too. My husband will NOT kill bugs unless he needs to. If it’s just a housefly in our house, he will catch it and release it outside. That goes for moths, larger bugs, etc… He humbled me. He is also extremely trusting. I know a lot of men who handle all of the household finances, and the wives essentially ask for permission to use certain monies and never get involved with the family’s finances. It’s the opposite for us. I’m a little OCD when it comes to money because I’ve had to support myself when there was little to support myself on. Literally, a $1 bag of Crispers from the discount store would be a meal because that’s all I could afford. So when it comes to debt and bills, I need to know what’s going on and need to see progress being made. My husband trusted me enough to hand over that responsibility. It took stress off of him when we became a united household, and I get my ability to do what I need to do. I mean, seriously, how many men would do that? Even writing these few things renews the appreciation and love in my heart for my husband. He may have some habits I don’t like, but that’s not what matters. What matters is we are here in life and love to handle the situations life throws at us together. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So ladies, and husbands if you’re reading this, stop complaining, stop griping, stop being so negative towards each other. Understand that you do not have to agree on everything. You can agree to disagree and be happy. Just sit back and remember why you fell in love in the first place, and never stop putting each other first.

Mark 10:9 – “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Proverbs 21:19 – “It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman.”

Colossians 3:18 – “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Proverbs 14:1 – “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

Ephesians 5:33 – “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Titus 2:5 – “to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

And of course, read Proverbs 31 for the great description of a woman in Christ.

I hope this helps you all! If you have any marriage advice, I would love to hear it below. ❤

A Maritime Way of Life

Recently, I have returned from my vacation visiting my family in New Brunswick for almost two weeks. I love returning home. There truly is no place like home. ❤

Going home is so important to me each year because it’s a break away from my daily “big city life”. Home, is a wee bit of redneckville mixed with a slow-paced existence. It’s the perfect combination.

In New Brunswick, it is totally and regularly possible that you may be the only car on the highway at any given time. Let me repeat that: At any time, you may be the only vehicle on the highway. That NEVER happens in the city.

Famous Hartland Covered Bridge. The longest one left standing!

New Brunswick is full of trees and rivers. Not just any trees either. New Brunswick is called the “Picture Province” for a reason: it has the most BEAUTIFUL variety of autumn colours you’ll ever see. And since the forests are everywhere with gorgeous lakes running through the province, the view is breath-taking. One day my mom and I even played “tourist” in our own province because it was such a beautiful day and the scenery along the drive overwhelmed us. It’s amazing when your own province can cause those awe-inspired feelings inside of you. I can tell you certainly the city does not do that for me at all.

In New Brunswick, nobody ever seems in a hurry. I’m sure people may be rushed for appointments or work in the morning, but honestly, you never feel a sense of rushing around. There seems to be so much time, so much laid-backness that you don’t get that crazy time-strapped feeling. Can you imagine life that way? I think it’s definitely something I used to take for granted when I lived there. I would give anything not to feel that way here in the city… the city that never has enough time for all that you need to do. And maybe that’s just the point…

In a smaller province, you don’t see as many people working themselves to death. New Brunswickers know how to have fun and how to get work done in a smaller amount of time. Families have time for families. Now, granted, a lot of people are on welfare because the economy is not the greatest, but even the people who do work still get together in LARGE groups of friends and spend time with their families every day. I can tell you as a big city teacher, this is something I don’t see often.

Now, why did I put LARGE groups of friends above? Well, when you live in smaller places, you know more people, and generally, in smaller places, all of the people get together. If someone’s having a party at their house, feel free to stop in. It’s an open door policy. Everybody knows everybody, and if you don’t know someone, know that you will be going through the stages of figuring out whether you’re to be trusted and accepted in the group or not.

It truly is an open door policy. People have less places to be, and more time to be home. So if you feel like visiting anyone, there is rarely a chance you need to call before going over. In fact, people LOVE when you stop in to visit. All the time I just go over to whoever’s house and knock on the door and never once will you be turned away unless of course someone is busy which of course, as stated above, doesn’t usually happen. And even if they are busy, they will stop to talk. It’s just the way they generally are.

Four-Wheelers (also known as ATVs or Quads) and snowmobiles are accepted methods of transportation and are regularly used. Due to the economy in the Maritimes, New Brunswickers use four-wheelers and snowmobiles as cheap methods of transportation. Most places in the country areas or small towns are accessible by these methods, and thus save on money. Gas is also more expensive in NB so it saves on gas as well. They are also a form of recreation. I basically grew up on a four-wheeler; it was the first real thing I learned how to drive on my own. I LOVED when my entire family would go on day trips. We’d make a stop at the local convenience store for gas and some snacks (all 8 wheelers of us) and then head out for the day. Most of NB’s railways have been dug up, so the trails that are left are super easy to travel on, not to mention the off road trails we’d venture out on. In the city, you don’t even have a chance to do this unless you have a truck to haul your machine outside the city to some acceptable place. In NB, go out into your back yard and begin.

There is rarely a person who will walk by without saying hello to you, nor a car that will drive by without waving at you. The reason for this? Most NBers are just friendly people. Definitely not a city thing…

Snowmobile parking lots truly exist in the winter.

New Brunswickers aren’t worried about the newest and greatest things. They could care less if they owned everything designer or if their house was brand new. In fact, that’s one thing I love about New Brunswick. They maintain houses that are hundreds of years old, some that are still cared for and lived in by families. You don’t get sick of seeing the same house after the same house as you do in the city. You actually get to see real architecture, large mansions of houses from people of old, molded tin ceilings, stained-glass windows, etc… The houses are simply beautiful! And even some houses that aren’t as grand that are 50+ years old are still loved and lived in, in New Brunswick. People (mostly) have respect for items. It’s not a “Oh I’ll just wait until the next one comes out… ” or “I need a new _________ that’s bigger and better.” They simply live for what they can afford and don’t lay around complaining about what they don’t have. I mean, here in the city, people complain, there are massive line-ups for items to come out the next day, people are throwing away perfectly functional items just because they’ve become “outdated”. It’s such a breath of fresh air to go to somewhere that people aren’t completely consumed with consumerism. People know and can appreciate a good find at the DollarStore. People know how to hunt for bargains that will keep them going. Brand new cars? Aside from my mother, my step father and myself, I can’t really tell you anyone else in my family who has ever bought a new car. They always buy used because it’s cheaper and it gets them by. I love the whole mindset. In fact, in this recent trip, my father quoted me this, “I don’t look at things as how long I can afford them; I look at things as how long can I keep them.” Amazing.

It’s so much more family-oriented. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s rare for a family not to spend regular time together. And I’m not talking just the parents and kids, I mean aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. Everytime I go home, I spend the majority of my time visiting relatives because that’s who I grew up with and was close to. My great aunts and uncles, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, my parents and siblings, my great grandmothers, everyone. I grew up in a close but large family, and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. From what I gather from most of my students, many of them rarely see their extended family. In fact, it’s usually only for family reunions. I love that I don’t have to wait for a reunion. I just get up and go, knock on the door, and then sit for hours talking. It’s seriously the best.

I’m sure I could keep writing on this topic and all the things I love about the Maritime life. And of course, these won’t apply to everyone. But being born a small-town, Maritime (NB) girl, I still feel this way about my province every time I go home. In fact, my dad commented how I still call NB home, but that’s because it always will be. I love the way of life there and it will always be my breath of fresh air.

Working Out at Home Vs. the Gym

There are so many programs out there for people to workout at home. These workouts are usually efficient and tend to require minimal equipment. They are great for people on a low budget that can’t afford gym fees!

Little resources, time efficient, workout sufficient.

Now, the gym, we all know has most, if not all of the equipment you’d need for workouts. You don’t have to buy anything, but you do need to pay a gym fee. You also run the risk of going to the gym at peak hours where it may be crowded, a problem you definitely do not run into at home.

I could easily live at a gym ❤

I’ve tried both, I honestly have. But I can definitely tell you I prefer one over the other. Can you guess which one?

Incase you really aren’t sure, it’s definitely working out at the gym. I just seem to lose so much motivation at home. I can think of so many things that need to be done, and I really don’t like trying to exercise and yet watch the TV at the same time to figure out if I’m doing the exercises properly.

At the gym, I have tonnes of people (or a few people if I’m lucky) that are all there for the same reason as I am: to workout! It’s a metal playground, a place where the only thing I can do is get fit! I love every minute of it. I could workout for hours if I had the time. Yet at home? I find it hard enough to make it through 30-45 minutes.

I’m a gym girl. Which are you?

We Finally Got It… And He’s Happy!

I never knew looking for a truck could be so stressful. It’s been 3 weeks. Two down payments and cancellations. And endless online and offline searching. I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of sleep we’ve lost and the amount of frustration we’ve endured. Truly endless. Or so it seemed.

One thing about trucks is they cost a lot, especially where we live. So the decision either came to 0% interest on a new truck that cost much more money, or be charged some interest on a used vehicle that may not cost as much money, but usually had a fair amount of mileage on it.

To add to the frustration, my husband has owned 3 trucks before and therefore was not willing to settle for something ridiculous. We also deal with a mad amount of winter (snowed the first week of September…) so having 4WD and other features was important. He also wanted a diesel which automatically lifts the price. Oh boy…

Slowly throughout the weeks, we whittled down a few things. One, that he didn’t want brand new because the price was so high. Two, that we were sticking with lower kms on a used truck. Three, that it had to be diesel. Four and almost decided from the beginning, it had to be a Dodge.

The problem came that we had to find a Dodge with low kms that was a diesel and not out of our price range and that was the true struggle. Prices for trucks are simply outrageous. And then one caught his eye online.

There was a silver Dodge, lifted (he likes lifted), rugged brand new tires, nice looking wheels, diesel, 15 000 km, only 2 years old, still covered by all the factory warranties, some cool features, and a very fraction of the price it would have been new. It’s still at the high end of our price range, but doable.

So we went to look at it to make sure it wasn’t just one of those circumstances where the vehicle looks awesome online, but there are tonnes of things wrong with it when we get there. Truth be told, it was exactly as it looked.

The dealer man met us, was incredibly nice, gave us the keys, told us to have fun, and was very friendly and easy to sit with to discuss the truck. It was a small used dealership, very family friendly. I mean seriously, the men were sitting around chewing Double Bubble. Not much more friendly than that!

The truck was great, and made my husband feel so happy. I of course venture on the thoughts of pricing and what it means to dedicate our finances to this vehicle for the next several years, but again, it is doable, and most importantly, it made him happy.

Don’t get me wrong, the truck is nice. Aside from a couple dings in the bed, and the absolutely tiniest bump in the door (the dealership agreed to pay for this), the truck is incredibly unused. My assumption would be that the person who previously owned it could no longer afford it. I mean this truck probably cost upwards of $60000-70000 brand new. But it runs nicely, it looks nice, and it’s huge. Oh my word is it huge! The thing’s a beast! But at least I know my husband will be safe driving around this soon-to-be-frozen-place we call home. It’s his new baby and he loves it and that’s what makes me happy.

Not the best picture, but it was taken late at night when we finally took it home. Makes the Challenger look tiny!

Have you ever experienced extreme stress trying to find a new vehicle? What obstacles did you face?