Sometimes It’s Good To Take A Trip Down Memory Lane

I have this box that I keep cards in. These are cards that I’ve received from Christmas, from birthdays, from students, from my wedding, from my engagement, etc… There are so many cards in there. I actually was beginning to wonder if I should throw some of them out. But since I’m me, and I always do things thoroughly, I took them out one-by-one to read through them.

I couldn’t throw any of them out. Those cards are filled with so many memories.

There are cards from past students who reminded me what an amazing teacher I was, and that they were sad I had to leave. There were even cards of apologies for things they knew they had done but wanted to do better. The cards asked me not to forget the students who created them. How could I?

There are cards from big moments in my life and memories of the people I shared it with. Well wishes, and in-depth personal moments of advice from these big moments, celebrations with close family and friends, and large milestones marked in history with people I loved around me. I can’t forget those.

There are cards that wanted to make me cry because they are from people who I will no longer have the opportunity to receive anything from again. My step sister who sent a few cards over the years, but whose last signature I have from the Christmas before she took her life. And my step great grandmother whose last signature I will bear from my wedding. I couldn’t even stand to think of getting rid of those because those are the little pieces of them that I have left.

I have meaningful cards from people who are no longer a part of my life. Some due to unfortunate situations, and some due to the stupid fact that all adults warn you about: After school, people separate. You spend so many years of your life building relationships with people day in and day out, and yet when the responsibility of adulthood calls you to different places, those relationships often begin to dissipate. Sometimes being an adult isn’t all it’s kicked up to be.

These cards represent major parts of my life, people who have been cheering for me all along, and people who have cheered with me at least part of the way. I can’t give up this stuff. I needed that trip through Memory Lane, and I recommend one for you too. It will make you smile, it will make you laugh, it may even make you cry. But the one big thing it does well is to remind you of where you came from and who was there with you along the way. Those memories are something nobody can take from you; they are yours to keep.

As always, hold your loved ones tightly and never let them go. Life is simply too short, so make sure you let the people who matter to you most know that they are loved.

When I Realized My Grandfather Really Wasn’t Coming Back

Something happened today that really jarred my memory and brought me to write this post. I saw the following picture on Facebook and it got me thinking about my grandfather.

It took me right back to the moments where I can remember thinking about him and instantly started crying. Even now writing this, I can feel the water filling up in my eyes. I know many of you will say that you have/had an awesome grandfather to, but I’d like to take a minute to tell you about mine, and how special he truly was.

I guess it starts when my mother became pregnant with me. My parents were not married. I guess my grandfather liked my dad, but he was very upset about the whole situation and didn’t talk to my mother for days. However, being the man that he was, he still bought her a crib and everything she would need for me, even though he wasn’t talking to her. He was always that way, taking care of things even when he was upset.

Of course, as soon as I was born, he was completely smitten. My mother is a child of two, but lived very much a single child’s life. She never met her brother as he died on a surgery table a few months after he was born. That meant, I was the first and only grandchild.

My parents didn’t stay together very long. They did get married after I was born, but separated when I was about 4, officially divorcing when I was around 5. Where do you think we went back to? My grandparents. In fact, their home was very much “home base” my entire life.

My grandfather always spoiled me (and later my other siblings). I have pictures where my toys barely fit in the picture with me. My father told me that I would get tired of opening gifts because there were simply so many. I had this 6″+ man wrapped around my tiny finger. There’s no denying he loved me.

My grandfather was a used car salesman. In fact, it was my mother’s company that he worked for her since she dropped out of college to be home with me. The company was even named after my sister and I. But eventually he took over the company and changed its name since he did become the only one running the business.

I used to love visiting him at his office. My grandmother and I would get lunches for him, he would let me sit in his office chair, I would be called his “Number 1 Dudette”, and I loved the fact that everywhere we went, people always knew and respected my grandfather, and thus treated me as if I was a special person. I had never met anyone who didn’t know or like my grandfather.

If you could imagine the biggest realistic playground in the world, that would be my grandfather’s car lot. He gave me access to all the keys and vehicles in his lot. I can still remember the amount of fun we had pretending to drive the cars, and especially in exploring the only RV I remember him having. Only once did he ask me to backup a truck into a corner spot. My mother sat in the passenger seat with me, and I remember learning really quick to use my mirrors. I was so scared I would mess up his vehicles in this tight spot. But I did it! I still can’t believe he trusted me…

If I could compare him to anything, it would very much be the godfather. I’m not joking when I say that everyone seemed to know who he was. He was an amazing man when he was happy, but he was always a man you feared when he was unhappy. I don’t remember him every getting mad at me, but it was a general rule that when he came home, the remote control to the television had to be in the right spot for him to lay on the couch and watch what he wanted. He became upset if the remote went missing. There were just certain things you knew not to do.

Sometimes, my grandmother and him would fight. I’m sure there’s not a couple in the world who has not at least had one argument. Sometimes, or maybe more than sometimes, this meant he would stay at his office for the night. It was a conveniently built, small building that contained 3 rooms and a tiny hallway. One room was “the office”. The second room was of course a washroom. And the third room was his bedroom. It contained only a tv, a bed, and a mini fridge. It pretty much had everything he needed if he needed a night away. So it was a fairly normal occurrence for him not to come home sometimes.

The best thing about my grandfather was that he was always there for us. There was a time when we didn’t have the most money, and work was slow. My grandfather always provided what we needed, and then some. Most of you know that I have moved like 20 times with my family, not including on my own. The one person who was always there, regardless of where we were, was my grandfather. He never missed an opportunity to come and stay with us. (Of course I should say my grandmother always came with him as well, but I will dedicate a post to her another day.) He was honestly one of the biggest constants in my life.

When my family made the official decision to move from the east coast to the west coast, my grandparents offered to bring my sister and I out at the end of summer so that we could spend the extra time with our father. It was a fair bit of a long drive, but even then my grandfather trusted me with reading the map (before GPS systems). I almost think his belief in me helped me grow to the independent woman I am today. I have a lot to credit him for.

They stayed with us at our new place for a few days. Early in the morning, him and I would get up and drive to a hotel or another homey restaurant to eat. He was not a chain-restaurant type of person. Even back in the town he worked, he had one particular restaurant he preferred to eat at, and everybody knew his specials and what he enjoyed eating. He always preferred the homestyle cooking. In fact, he met my grandmother while she was waitressing at such a type of restaurant. My family and I have visited that restaurant a few times and imagined what it must have been like. They still have the juke boxes and the old stools. Sometimes it’s nice to preserve history rather than to embrace change.

We then took a trip to the “big city” so my grandparents could see it before they left. We had a lot of fun. At one point, we lost my grandfather in the big mall. I’ll never forget him driving around on those motorized scooters for people who can’t walk well. He had even gotten an orange smoothie and I guess spilled it all over the machine. If you knew my grandfather like I did, you would picture him using colourful language for the time he was mad, then acting like nothing ever happened.

I don’t remember how we ever found him, but I can tell you it was one of the hardest good-byes of my life.This wasn’t just moving a few hours away, this was a four day drive across the country. Of course they would come visit again, but the visits would never be as frequent as before. What I didn’t know was that my tears would get worse before they ever got better.

Literally two or three days after we returned to our new home, I got a call from my grandmother. It sounded like her for sure, but something was a little different. She asked to speak to my mom pretty much right away, so I gave my mom the phone and sat on the landing of the stairs. My mother took the phone into her room which was at the top of the stairs. The next words I heard told me pretty much everything I didn’t want to hear. She said, as she began crying, “Oh Mom!”.

My grandparents had been involved in a car accident on their journey home. An impatient driver went in their lane to pass a semi-truck and didn’t see my grandparents van coming at them. My grandmother was in the hospital, a little bruised but otherwise ok (she would later need nose surgery to correct the alignment). My grandparents’ friend who was helping them drive home had so many broken bones, including ribs and shoulder, and would also need counselling for what happened (he was driving at the time – completely not his fault). But my grandfather didn’t make it.The speed they were traveling on the highway, and the impact of a completely head-on hit left the vehicle in shambles and took my grandfather with it.

Immediately, we packed and drove back to the city. I thankfully had a great aunt and uncle who lived just outside the limits and welcomingly invited us in until we could all make arrangements to fly home. My mother was able to fly right away to be with my grandmother, but there were 4 more of us to fly, and we had to wait for a cheaper ticket to afford it.

It was so strange when I got home. Being in my grandparents house seemed so normal. I mean, I was only at my “new home” for less than a week. I had no attachments to it and didn’t even have to act like it was supposed to be my new home. I had come home and it felt like life should be normal again.

I know I cried a few times, but I remember just having the attitude and thoughts of “My grandfather is just at his office, staying the night like he usually does. Sometime he’ll come home.”

I still remember it as clear as yesterday: My mother and I were sitting in the living room, on separate couches, not talking much as we didn’t for a while, and her saying the exact same thing that I felt – that Grampy was just at his office and sometime he would come home. And it hit us right then that we had to realize it was wasn’t true, that Grampy really wasn’t coming back. I broke down (just like I am again now) because he was always there, for everything! How could he not come back this time! How could the one stable thing in my life not come back! It was so hard to accept.

Sitting in his house, seeing all of his old stuff, going to his office, it was all so hard to do when you realize the person who has always been there for you, the person who has loved you your whole life was suddenly gone. My nickname would never be used again, except when telling stories of him. My promise from him of giving me my first car would never come true. My life was drastically left with an empty hole that I’m not sure was ever filled again. Nobody could take his place, and I could never have been prepared for that instant change in time.

Life is not fair, and it never will be. The devil is waiting for any opportunity to attack and make a mess of things. He knows which strings to pull and he knows how to make things hurt you more than anyone else. He knows he can damage us and take away everything that means the world to us, which is why it’s so important to turn to God when you’re hurting, to let Him hold you and tell you that everything is going to be ok, because one day, it will. One day, when Jesus returns and we are taken to Heaven with Him, there will not be anymore pain, there will not be anymore death, there will not be anymore tears. I don’t know what my grandfather’s relationship with Christ was like. I know he sort of had a falling out at one point, but he insisted my mom make sure she took us to church. So I only hope and pray that he had a good relationship with God, because it would be so nice to run into those loving arms I miss so dearly, the loving arms that were missing during both of my graduations and my wedding, the loving arms that were taken away from me way too soon.

I miss this man more than anything, and truly just thinking of how much I miss him brings me to tears almost instantly. Hold your loved ones close and make sure you let them know how important they are to you. You never know which instant will take them away.

Week 11 Day 3

I battled between being mentally happy and mentally unhappy in regards to missing my workout last night. However, I decided to remember my body needed some rest to recover. There was just no way I was going to miss the gym tonight!

School went well. We started watching one of my favourite video sermon series by Louie Giglio, where he shows the grandeur of God in comparison to astronomy. It’s absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it!

We were supposed to finish our Planets presentations today, but instead only completed 5. Unfortunately, these were students that did not put as much time into their presentations as others, and we had to have a conversation about plagiarism, as most of the students were stumbling over the words on their presentations, some words more sophisticated than I would use in our Science study. This unfortunately made for a long end of the day.

Following the end of school, the teachers quickly dismissed and met at Moxie’s to celebrate one of our coworker’s upcoming wedding. It was a great time of just getting away from work, being able to socialize and celebrate. As usual, I looked up the food before I went. I couldn’t believe how much fat was in EVERYTHING at the restaurant! I did find a side menu they had to give healthy hints. So I followed one of the healthy hints, and ordered the fish tacos with grilled fish instead of fried, and had a small green salad as my side. This restaurant did seem to be pretty compliant with anything you requested of them, so in that way it was very nice.

After quite a bit of extra time (oops), we came back to the school, and I waited for my husband to come get me. He hadn’t had time to finish my car because he was putting his new mirrors on his truck! It’s so exciting to have mirrors again, and not just new mirrors, but brand new tow mirrors that he got for a third of the price since they were considered new after someone had purchased them and then exchanged them. It is my suspicion that God knew ahead of time our mirror would be broken, and provided these incredible mirrors just for us. I love a God that can see ahead.

I don’t know if it was the rush of trying to get some things caught up at work or what, but my eyes bothered me really badly today. They were watering, painful, almost doing that blurry thing they sometimes do, and I had to resort to wearing my glasses for the first time in two months. So when I went home, and could sit and be mentally awake, but physically had to close my eyes, my husband told me to go rest in bed while he made his food, ate, and changed the battery in my car. He didn’t have to tell me twice today. My eyes had said enough.

When he woke me up, I did not want to get up. In fact, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I knew I had to workout. I couldn’t miss again. So somehow, with my husband’s persistence, I made it out of bed and got changed to go to the gym.

I had a coffee, which helped some. But I was just plain tired.

I had a back workout tonight, and I cannot contain how happy I am. My weights keep rising every week, my strength is increasing all the time. I’m so in love with my body’s reaction right now. No, I’m not seeing the fat necessarily disappear like I’d like. No, my clothes don’t fit me as loose as I’d like. But the number on the scale is not rising either! In fact, it has been in the exact same place for at least two weeks. And for someone who hasn’t been counting macros, and instead have just been listening to my body’s needs, that’s amazing!

Someday I will cut again to get rid of the fat, but for now, I will go to bed content that my body is the strongest it has ever been, and perhaps the healthiest as well. My mental state is in one of the best places it has ever been and my relationship with food is one where food no longer controls me (for the most part). And that’s much better to me in this moment. I’m happy.

Week 5 Day 5: The Revelation

Sorry guys. I realized I had made a mistake and quickly changed it! Yesterday was not the revelation day, today was and somehow I mixed up the names! Sorry about that. It’s now fixed 🙂

So every Thursday at work, instead of a normal worship, we have “Thankful Thursdays” where we go around saying the appreciations we’ve had. It’s a great thing to do, and one of the things I reflected on was my class this year. Not that they are perfect, not that they are always easy, but that I’ve seen maturity in them, even in the way they accept their consequences. I am so proud of them and look forward to helping them the rest of this year.

Following worship, we went about the usual day but I was so happy to welcome them into my classroom this morning. And when they went to gym, I sat and reflected on something that completely dawned on me: I’ve been happy, truly happy. I don’t know why, I don’t really know anything about it other than I felt completely and totally happy. Can I just say WOW? What a feeling! To be honestly happy. It’s amazing. I know my food and workouts have been going great, I’ve been taking care of all the medical issues, there have been major improvements, my husband is working and hopefully we’ll get his FBI check soon so he can have residency soon, I’m still in debt, but I’m happy. And that says something!

The day went well. We were planning a surprise wedding shower for our principal and it went amazing! We had a million laughs, and come to find out, this was their only shower, and she had never been successfully surprised before! We did awesome!

Now of course you’re probably wondering about my food choices while at this shower. So here is what I did. I ate half of one of my meals before I went. I then allowed myself a small selection on a small plate. I normally would have tried some of everything, but I limited myself. I was hungry for seconds, but I only allowed myself a plate of veggies. I did very well! Though in hind sight, I would have been alright white a lot of those things. They didn’t even seem worth it. Way too much sugar after being without refined sugars. I will know better next time.

We also had a staff meeting afterwards which of course meant that it was a late work night. But I still made it to the gym and had an awesome workout! Tonight was a circuit of shoulders, arms, chest and abs followed by 12 minutes of HIIT.

And of course, here are my meals for the day:

Meal 1

I had to cook this one a little more at home. I like my meat well done. This is a potato mash with egg whites, steak and a tomato.

Meal 2

I ate this one before I could get a picture last time. Homemade hummus with carrots, celery and rice crackers.

Meal 3

A tuna salad wrap with apples. Absolutely yummy!

Meal 4

So apparently I ate this one before a picture was taken. Sorry! It was cottage cheese with cinnamon and a very fine chop of honeydew and cantaloupe.

Meal 5

I didn’t take a picture of this one because you saw it yesterday. But since I don’t eat pork, the other option was to have the same chicken salad I had yesterday. I was so happy to eat it again. Yum!

Sad Gym Events: Prayers Requested

Tonight as I was walking into the women’s washroom, I noticed a printed poster on the wall. It was a picture of a woman’s hand with a ring on it. Some poor lady had lost her engagement ring at the gym. My stomach sank.

You see, a little over a year ago, I had stupidly put my wedding ring and engagement ring in my pocket and thought they would be safe while I worked out. You cannot imagine my horror to realize they were no longer in my pocket. Not only that, but to know that my husband was unable to work, and he had worked MONTHS at his last and final job to pay for those rings. I was ready to freak out.

Fortunately enough, I found one of them. It must have rolled out of my pocket and stopped over by another machine where I found it. But I still was missing one of them, and that’s when I told my husband what happened.

To say he was upset would be an underestimate. He was quite devastated. Especially looking upon the fact that my rings were worth several thousands of dollars and there were many people at the gym. How easy would it be for someone to pick it up and put it in their pockets? Way too easy.

I went and notified the front desk, notified the custodians, and continued to look many times over the gym, praying the entire time.

I cannot begin to tell you how blessed I was. A man came over and asked what I was looking for. I told him I had lost my ring. He asked me to describe it, and so I did. And lo’ and behold, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out my ring. Talk about a huge sigh of relief. How easy would it have been for someone to walk out the door with my ring in their pocket. I can tell you that I’ve never made that mistake again.

So seeing this poster hits home really closely. I feel for this woman. And to know the feelings that come with losing your ring; awful. So I’m going to pray and ask for extra prayer for this woman to find her engagement ring. The power of prayer can do extraordinary things!

Recruiting Some Prayers

Hello everyone.

I hope you all had a great weekend! Did you do anything special for Father’s Day? I took my husband out for breakfast (just somewhere fast), made him drive, giving him the directions as we went along (to keep the destination a surprise), took him to an antique museum that was hosting an antique car show (early 1900s and later), and then later took him out for supper at a Persian restaurant we have never tried before. Overall, we had a fantastic day!

But as my title says, I’m also requesting some heavy prayers. Of course, Father’s Day is a day on the phone for me as I call my two fathers and my two grandfathers. I found out that my one grandfather, on my French side, who has battled cancer but has succeeded in conquering remission, although left significantly weaker, has been sick twice in the last two months. Now for most people, this could be no big deal. But add his already current weak state that was left by the cancer, and the fact that the first time he was sick, it took a month to overcome, this second sickness is nothing but trouble. I guess my grandmother caught it from him, and he got it back from her. Of course, she’s feeling guilty as she watches her husband suffer with no energy, no appetite, etc. Especially after she just lost a brother a year or two ago, and just lost another brother a week ago. I know she fears losing her husband too. And to top it all off, the funeral for her brother is this coming weekend. So not only am I asking you to pray for him to get better, but to be better by this weekend. My grandmother needs his love and support as she deals with the loss of a close brother. So the magnitude of this prayer is strong. Please pray.

The second request I have came with news we received yesterday. My husband’s brother who went through surgery was released from hospital on Friday. He made the journey home, and I’m pretty sure was celebrating that he no longer had to live in a hospital. However, yesterday, he was close to “blacking out” several times, and so his mother took him back to the hospital. The doctors assumed he was just dehydrated and thus hooked him up to a fluid IV and later sent him home. Upon return of home, he fully passed out and hit the floor. Of course this meant a turnaround trip back to the hospital where they are considering much more serious options than simple dehydration. This means more tests. His doctors in the larger city were notified, and last I heard, the debate was whether or not to take him back to the larger hospital. Unfortunately, his hospital life is not over yet. I ask for such sincere prayer for him. I cannot even begin to fathom what he is experiencing, the hopelessness as he looks at his dire position. He needs lifted up into the hands of our Father who is the only one who truly knows what is going on with him. My husband is having a hard time with the situation, especially not being allowed to leave the country. I cannot request prayer enough. This family needs your help. Please pray.

One last item that I learned today and also requires some hefty prayers concerns a colleague of mine in an incredibly unfortunate situation. She is planning on getting married in August, something she highly looks forward too. She was raised by adoptive parents, but of course had sent invitations to her biological parents whom she doesn’t speak to often, but every once in awhile. Her father never returned his confirmation for the wedding, but she had just assumed he had never thought to. Of course, she called him for Father’s Day, but instead of hearing her normal father’s voice, was shocked to hear how hard it was for him to breathe and speak. It was to her dismay that there was a reason that he never returned the reservation, and that was simply because he didn’t know if he’d be alive by then. He had been diagnosed with lung cancer, and one lung has already collapsed. Something so sudden and yet he was so fearful of breaking the news to his children, especially the one who really wants him to be there for her wedding. As you can assume, this news hits hard. There is nothing that can relieve the pain of finding our your dad could be gone in a few months, and possibly just before you wed. There’s a special place for dads at their daughter’s wedding, and they fear this void will be there instead. Please pray for this whole thing. Pray for her father’s life, and pray for her strength and endurance. I know I would be devastated, and I can only imagine she is as well. Pray for not only their relationship, but also his with God. There is nothing more important than being ever closer to God when death is so close at hand.

I thank all of you in advance for lifting these situations up in your prayers. It’s hard to watch the people you love and care so deeply about suffer. The question of why God allows these things to happen is a hard one, but one that will be answered when He returns. But in the meantime, God tells us to lift everything up in petition and prayer, and that if we knock, the door shall be opened unto us. So pray for the wellbeing of both my relatives.

If there is any prayers I can lift up for you or any of your situations, please let me know. Prayer is something that can be so powerful, and there is nothing that is too little for prayer. God cares about you, and I do too. Thanks again.

When It Rains, It Definitely Pours! Smile Anyway!

Hello everyone. It has been an incredible journey (you can decide whether it was bad or good) since my last post. This is probably one of my first “down-time” moments I’ve had in the last month. Crazy!

So last time I wrote, I was in the Phoenix, AZ airport, awaiting my plane to Los Angeles. Tired. My plane to Los Angeles was on time and absolutely fine. However, according to the new tickets they had given me, I was supposed to change airlines. Weird, eh? So I was now switching airlines (of whose names I will not post to avoid hard feelings). I quickly found out that the LA airport is HUGE and of course the two airlines were in different terminals. For those of you who don’t know, the airport has 9 terminals. It’s crazy. They have their own bus shuttle service to get you around to the different ones.

Anyways, so I jump on the shuttle, he takes me to the new terminal, and I wait in line. I get to the counter, show them the computer printout I had been given, and the nightmare began. I was told I had a reservation, but there was no ticket in my reservation. Of course this sounded absolutely ridiculous but I asked what I needed to do. She simply told me to go back to the other airline and just request for them to do it again. So back I walked.

When I arrived back at the original airline, I told my story. The lady looked at me like I was ridiculous but complied and did the whole booking process again and also gave me printed out ticket vouchers that stated the exact plane I was supposed to be on. Seriously, they looked just like airline tickets, except for the word coupon on them. This was supposed to make the process easier.

So once again, I walked over (I had given up on waiting for shuttle). Mind you, the walking is significant as I had packed all of my new books in my carry on which made it weigh my shoulders down, as well as my purse which people tell me I must pack bricks in. So I am tired AND worn out AND frustrated.

I get back to the other airline only to notice the line has doubled. I think I waited close to half hour before reaching the counter. Possibly even 40 minutes. I got to the counter, explained the whole story again, and wouldn’t you know, I now have THREE reservations, and still no tickets. So I took a deep breath and handed her the the coupon tickets that I had received and showed her that I’m supposed to be on the next plane, the $300 was covered by the coupon, etc… She told me to hold on one minute, got on the phone and did whatever she did. Only to get off the phone and hand the coupon tickets back to me and tell me there was nothing she could do. I seriously think my jaw dropped to the floor. Then I told her that even I could read the coupon tickets and tell her I’m supposed to be here right now and getting on the next flight. She told me that yes, I should be there, but there was nothing she could do. I would have to go back to the original airline and tell them to get me a different flight.

Can you imagine? I was ready to just bawl my eyes out. Stuck in the states, not with my husband, can’t get to Canada, maybe not even make it for the wedding, and almost no outlook of getting out of Los Angeles. But I got myself together and walked back to the other terminal; to the original airline.

When I reached there, the lady from the counter saw me and asked why I was back. I told her the whole story, still trying not to burst right out in tears. She actually told me that I had the actual ticket and that I needed to march back there and tell them to take it. And I simply looked at her with a painstaking (and probably horribly tired-looking eyes) face and told her that I wasn’t going back there because I was going to miss the flight anyways and there was no way they were going to take it.

The lady looked at me and told me to hold on before disappearing behind a grey door. And there I stood, for close to 20 minutes, not knowing how this day would turn out. Not knowing where I would go.

The lady came out and basically insulted the other airline, telling me that she wasn’t sure what their problem was and that they were “playing games” and then took a very sympathetic tone with me. She gave me two options, one of switching to another airline and making it home by 11:00 p.m. or staying with their airlines and making it home by 12:15 a.m. I told her I don’t care about the hour difference, I’m sticking with this airline because I just want to go home.

I had a long wait at the airport. But eventually I was back on a flight to Phoenix (never should have left there in the first place) and then on the flight to Edmonton.

Now of course I was relieved just to make it back, even though I was 24 hours late, super tired, and worn out. But it hit me that I had no idea where my checked bags would be. I already knew they would not be on the belt when they unloaded the suitcases. I hadn’t seen mine since I had left Colorado.

I waited at the belt to be sure, but of course they were not there. I casually walk over to luggage services, and they trace my bags back to Los Angeles. I told the lady that it would make sense and gave her a brief overview of the story and signed papers for them to be delivered and authority for a customs check.

As I’m almost out the airport doors, the luggage lady runs after me and says to hold on and that they found one of my bags. So I said ok, and she took me back through customs to claim my bag.

Then as I’m leaving the airport a second time, the luggage lady runs after me again asking if I didn’t mind sitting because she had one more place she’d like to check. So I sat, knowing that late night/early morning hours don’t really matter at this point anyways, and there she came, rolling my other suitcase! Hallelujah! One thing down!

Then I took a taxi to my sister’s place, had a quick shower, packed her belongings as well as mine, and took a taxi to my place as she is moving in.

I don’t like the situation she was in at the place she was living in. There are a great deal of things that I don’t agree with that her boyfriend does and the way he treats her, and her life is somewhat a mess. So she is here temporarily to get her feet back on the ground, get a job, get her ID so she can get a job, and hopefully see the destruction in her relationship. Please, please pray for her. The relationship is not a healthy one.

So we get here, and I get a total of 2 hours of sleep before I have to get up. Because I was a day late, that gave me less time for the appointments for the wedding, less time to get my sister settled in, and really less time for anything and everything.

So I began with a trip to the mall to get my sister a bus pass. She would need it to get around the city and I would have to teach her how to use the busses. As we went around and I completed my nail appointment that day, before I knew it, it was time to go to the rehearsal dinner. Oh boy.. I hit the ground running.

The rehearsal dinner went fine, and of course everyone was asking me about why my husband wasn’t there, my flight story, etc.

That night, I had 5 hours of sleep before I had to get up to SQUEEZE in an eyelash appointment, and a spray tan to try and cover my horrible tan lines (didn’t work) as well as continue teaching my sister how to use the bus system. I literally got home and right away had to go to my friend’s house to get ready for bachelorette evening. No time, no time.

Bachelorette evening went off without too much of a hitch. I stayed the night at the bride’s house since it was late, got up with them Saturday morning, and went to church. After church we had a family potluck, and then the bride’s father (who knows me very well) told me I should go home and take a nap before the gathering potluck later because he could see I desperately needed sleep. However, when I got dropped off at home, I realized my ticket to visit my family in New Brunswick was booked for 1:30 the next night, the night of the reception! I would have not a drop of time to pack tomorrow! Needless to say, instead of napping, I spent my time emptying out my old suitcases (no time for laundry) and packing everything ahead of time for my NB trip. This took quite awhile as I was also trying to pick up a few things so my sister could feel slightly more at home and had to take a trip to grocery store so my sister had food to eat while I was gone. I was rushing and rushing and rushing with no time to rest.

I called when I had finished packing and knew it was about time for the bbq to start, so I got picked up, went over and ate, and headed to the church at 9:30 p.m. I don’t think we left the church from decorating and planning until at least 12:30 a.m. What a night…

Funny thing is, the hair lady wasn’t supposed to arrive until 9:00 a.m., but had been surprised by her husband with a surprise vacation and thus needed to arrive at 7:00 a.m. Opportunity for some extra sleep = gone!

But the wedding day was amazing, and I was incredibly satisfied with the way everything looked and how I looked despite my intense sleep deprivation, and we had so much fun at the reception. Now, the reception did end at 10:00 (not that everyone left at this time) but I had to rush right out the door, before even the bride and groom, in order to make it to my place to change and then to the airport to check in enough time before my flight. I would be so glad when this rush is over…

I did make it, my flights were fine, but I was so exhausted, hungry, and just plain worn out.

It was nice to be in NB with my family, in a small community instead of being in the large city. I was missing my husband horribly and needed sleep incredibly badly. I slept so much for a few days. I was tired all the time.

But I really did have a good visit. Spent quite a bit of time in St. Andrews. If you have never been to St. Andrews, New Brunswick, Canada, GO! You’re on the ocean, it’s a quaint little town, and even the restaurants have the option of their patios which are on the beach of the ocean. It honestly does not get any better than that. It’s a place of calm and peace with some really nice and unique stores on the main st. The food is amazing as everything is local and fresh, the fish are freshly caught and sold right on the dock in the middle of main st. Everyone is so friendly and just happy and smelling the ocean air day after day is incredible. The breeze, the sunsets and the sunrises with their reflections on the water. The botanical gardens, the whale watching adventures, the sport fishing, and even the new shark fishing are just the most amazing. (Disclaimer: you aren’t “hunting” to kill sharks. There has been a huge amount of sharks moving into the Bay of Fundy and so you are with a trained professional to capture sharks and tag them so they can keep better track. Thrill of a lifetime!)

I was able to visit all of my grandparents, including my two great grandmothers: 87 and 95!! They both still live on their own and although one has beginning dementia and the other has heart problems, they’re still both in good humour and attitude! Oh yes, my great grandmothers have their own little quirks. They got some sass left! 🙂

I missed my husband incredibly, and was drudging the idea of returning to the city. I wanted to stay in the relaxing environment and just feel the ocean breeze day after day. But lo’ and behold, it was almost 3 weeks in NB and I had to go.

Now I cried a lot on the way back as well. One reason being that my family was going through some issues and I felt bad leaving them that way. The second reason being that my biological father doesn’t always completely open up about how he feels. But this time he did and he didn’t want to see me leave. I can imagine there were tears shed, although he didn’t mention that part. So that made it incredibly hard. And the third and most dooming reason was that I knew I was returning to my apartment, my husband’s and my first home we called ours, and he wasn’t going to be there. That was incredibly hard to swallow. I never had time to face that fact until that time. Let’s just say, I was a tear-running mess.

I made it back home without and travel problems, of course it was the wee hours of the morning, and had to get up and get tons of things done. I am and was then currently starting a brand new fitness challenge, as well as being involved in a Mary Kay challenge (I’m a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant as well). So I had certain foods to buy, things for school were needed since I had to be at work the next day, etc…

Monday came, I showed up at work. Got a bit done, but we had a Love & Logic meeting that took some time. If you are having discipline problems, I highly recommend the Love & Logic program. Excellent for saving you extra stress!

Tuesday came, got some work done, but sat through a very long staff meeting. Ended up with a headache and pretty much got nothing I wanted to have done, done.

Wednesday came, got more work done, but sat through a long core group meeting. *Sigh… these meetings start to wear on you.

Thursday came, got probably the most amount of work done, came home and continued with the fitness program (which I had been doing everyday). Also on Thursday, I realized that the schedules for classes, as they were made, actually wouldn’t work. They had double booked my kids for two classes they are required to take. Oh boy! Let’s just say the other teachers did not want to change their schedules that they had already finalized to accommodate. Some serious anger going around.

Thought we had the issue fixed in a very painless way for everyone, only to wake up Friday and realize that our new solution won’t work either. Another conflict for my kids. And so it was taken to official hands and out of mine. It was Friday, school starts Monday. Not looking so good. Not to mention that our field and playground are completely torn up by renovations (actually a sea of dirt, no grass in sight) and we’re not sure what we’re doing about recesses yet.

But since Friday was here, I needed to get around and get some things done. Basically everything went well and the actual working solution to my scheduling problem was found.

Now I’d like to insert a huge blessing at this point because it definitely needs mentioning. When I had mentioned switching a gym period with another teacher, it was received with frustration and anger. Mind you the teachers reminded me it wasn’t towards me but they were unwilling to change their schedules. Normally I’m a very easily hurt person, but with all the craziness going on, I just kinda shoved it off. That same day, a couple hours later, those upset teachers came to the office, passed me on the way and asked if it was solved yet and I had said no not yet as I continued walking past (on my way to photocopier). They had gone to the office, but I hadn’t seen why. Later that evening, the secretary who of course is always busy with getting stuff ready for the beginning of school, busy taking care of registrations and parents coming in and uniform measurements and ordering, sent me a message. She was simply asking if I was ok because she had seen everything going on. I can’t tell you how much I love this woman! I can seriously accredit half of my survival the last year and some to this woman. God knew I would need her, and need her I did. Sometimes it just takes someone like that to boost your spirits, and it definitely did. I will continue to sing her praises as she is one of the most selfless women I have ever met.

So then comes Saturday. I’m out walking, and seriously had to cross maybe 6 feet of grass to get back on pavement, and the grass was kind of long, probably needing a mowing soon, and before you know it, I’m down on the ground and pounding the earth with my fist. I look behind me, and my foot is straight down in the ground, toes in first and heel sticking straight up. A gopher hole of all things. Obviously this was an old gopher hole as the grass had grown back out of the hole, thus the reason for not seeing the hole and of course the grass was the same height as the rest. I couldn’t believe it. 3 days until school starts, because of the new scheduling changes, I’m on recess duty alone once a day, and there goes my foot. *Sigh… off to the hospital.

At the hospital, the doctor did the x-rays and whatever. He said that it was just a bad sprain and his advice was “Let your pain be your guide” which resulted in no crutches or anything. I had my sister wheeling me around in a wheel chair while we were in the hospital, but no crutches for home. So, the hopping began. 3 busses and a ton of hopping and tiredness on the one leg and out of breath and sweat was horrible. I was not prepared. They had offered me pain killers at the hospital but I told them as long as I didn’t use the foot, it was fine.

Well, the man’s “Let your pain be your guide” philosophy definitely was not great advice. When I got home last night, my foot just throbbed! It was the pain that is achy and not stabbing like a knife but so uncomfortable that you’re wincing in pain just to find a position that will keep it from throbbing so badly.

I elevated it, iced it, heat packed it, and eventually was able to fall asleep after some Advil kicked in.

So today I’m supposed to get groceries. I was supposed to go to the school to finish up before the kids come. I’m supposed to be doing a new workout today to continue my fitness program. I’m supposed to be up and working my Mary Kay business to continue my challenge. And I’m here on the couch with an elevated foot.

*Sigh… not sure how this is all coming together, but somehow I know God will bring me through. At the hospital I had no choice but to smile and laugh. How ridiculous was it that I was walking a few hours before, I was busy but was getting things done, and yet here I sat in a wheelchair. Suddenly immobile when I needed to be mobile the most. I have a total new appreciation for people who have to live in wheelchairs everyday. My 2 hours in a wheelchair is nothing like the endless days, months, and years that these people endure. I’m so proud of them. Seriously am. It’s fun when you’re a kid to pretend you need a wheelchair, but not when you’re older. You become so conspicuous and everything becomes more difficult. If you are reading this and use a wheelchair, I have huge respect for you and appreciation for you! You are incredible!

So needless to say, I’m still trying to work things out in my mind. Recovery is set for a couple weeks. I have recess duty in 2 days. I have school in 2 days, and I also travel on bus. It’s not a good combination, especially for someone that does not have crutches or any type of assistance. But here I go. Another trial, another determined breakthrough.

I suppose that I also should mention that Canadian VISA is on strike (found out at the wedding) and thus NO VISAS are being processed except for a few student VISAs. Which means I have no idea how long before they’ll continue working on my husband’s paperwork so he can join me once again. Just another addition to my list 🙂

So I hope you guys know, and can kinda see that yes, when it rains, sometimes it does pour! It’s never pleasant, and quite frankly, it just sucks. But God does not allow you to bear more than you can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13) and if you can manage to stay positive, even through the worst of things, how much stress will you alleviate from yourself! I encourage you to know that you can make it through what you’re going through. I believe in you. We will fight this battle of the world together. Just stand strong, look at your troubles, and smile. You will get through this!