Fat Loss Pills – Let’s Get Serious!

Ok. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before, but that doesn’t stop the convincing ads you see in magazines and on tv, and that surely doesn’t stop people from buying them. So I’m going to talk about them one more time, and explain my experience with the last weight loss pills I tried.

Why am I against weight loss pills? Simply because they don’t work. Diuretics may work, but that is simply causing you to lose water weight, not actual fat. There are some carb blocking pills and hunger reducing pills, but why are you starving your body of the nutrients it needs? People end up spending way too much money on these “miracle pills” only to end up wasting their money because they simply don’t work.

Now, there are also very expensive, powerful weight loss pills that can work, but I will tell you one thing for certain: it is going to be very hard on your body!

My sister bought one of these very powerful weight loss pills, and she ended up having consistent nightmares and barely being able to sleep. The pills were just short of giving her hallucinations. Definitely not a good sign.

I bought a weight loss pill from the states (I’ve tried many brands before), but these were supposed to be powerful enough that you can only take one capsule a day. You know what the pills did? I didn’t lose weight. Instead, my throat burned like a hole was forming in it. It didn’t matter if I took the pill with food, or what I drank with it, this one simple pill a day was strong enough to burn my throat and irritate me for the full day. I even tried taking it every other day. But same results. I didn’t even finish the bottle.

So ladies and gentlemen, before you go out and buy all of these weight loss supplements and fat loss pills, please just consider that healthy and balanced eating mixed with some type of exercise each day is the healthiest way to go. No pill is going to be healthy for you, and it’s definitely not going to do the job that healthy eating and exercise can do. Put in the work and be proud of the body you create. Don’t harm it out of desperation to look a certain way. There are enough things in this world that harm us already.

When I Realized My Grandfather Really Wasn’t Coming Back

Something happened today that really jarred my memory and brought me to write this post. I saw the following picture on Facebook and it got me thinking about my grandfather.

It took me right back to the moments where I can remember thinking about him and instantly started crying. Even now writing this, I can feel the water filling up in my eyes. I know many of you will say that you have/had an awesome grandfather to, but I’d like to take a minute to tell you about mine, and how special he truly was.

I guess it starts when my mother became pregnant with me. My parents were not married. I guess my grandfather liked my dad, but he was very upset about the whole situation and didn’t talk to my mother for days. However, being the man that he was, he still bought her a crib and everything she would need for me, even though he wasn’t talking to her. He was always that way, taking care of things even when he was upset.

Of course, as soon as I was born, he was completely smitten. My mother is a child of two, but lived very much a single child’s life. She never met her brother as he died on a surgery table a few months after he was born. That meant, I was the first and only grandchild.

My parents didn’t stay together very long. They did get married after I was born, but separated when I was about 4, officially divorcing when I was around 5. Where do you think we went back to? My grandparents. In fact, their home was very much “home base” my entire life.

My grandfather always spoiled me (and later my other siblings). I have pictures where my toys barely fit in the picture with me. My father told me that I would get tired of opening gifts because there were simply so many. I had this 6″+ man wrapped around my tiny finger. There’s no denying he loved me.

My grandfather was a used car salesman. In fact, it was my mother’s company that he worked for her since she dropped out of college to be home with me. The company was even named after my sister and I. But eventually he took over the company and changed its name since he did become the only one running the business.

I used to love visiting him at his office. My grandmother and I would get lunches for him, he would let me sit in his office chair, I would be called his “Number 1 Dudette”, and I loved the fact that everywhere we went, people always knew and respected my grandfather, and thus treated me as if I was a special person. I had never met anyone who didn’t know or like my grandfather.

If you could imagine the biggest realistic playground in the world, that would be my grandfather’s car lot. He gave me access to all the keys and vehicles in his lot. I can still remember the amount of fun we had pretending to drive the cars, and especially in exploring the only RV I remember him having. Only once did he ask me to backup a truck into a corner spot. My mother sat in the passenger seat with me, and I remember learning really quick to use my mirrors. I was so scared I would mess up his vehicles in this tight spot. But I did it! I still can’t believe he trusted me…

If I could compare him to anything, it would very much be the godfather. I’m not joking when I say that everyone seemed to know who he was. He was an amazing man when he was happy, but he was always a man you feared when he was unhappy. I don’t remember him every getting mad at me, but it was a general rule that when he came home, the remote control to the television had to be in the right spot for him to lay on the couch and watch what he wanted. He became upset if the remote went missing. There were just certain things you knew not to do.

Sometimes, my grandmother and him would fight. I’m sure there’s not a couple in the world who has not at least had one argument. Sometimes, or maybe more than sometimes, this meant he would stay at his office for the night. It was a conveniently built, small building that contained 3 rooms and a tiny hallway. One room was “the office”. The second room was of course a washroom. And the third room was his bedroom. It contained only a tv, a bed, and a mini fridge. It pretty much had everything he needed if he needed a night away. So it was a fairly normal occurrence for him not to come home sometimes.

The best thing about my grandfather was that he was always there for us. There was a time when we didn’t have the most money, and work was slow. My grandfather always provided what we needed, and then some. Most of you know that I have moved like 20 times with my family, not including on my own. The one person who was always there, regardless of where we were, was my grandfather. He never missed an opportunity to come and stay with us. (Of course I should say my grandmother always came with him as well, but I will dedicate a post to her another day.) He was honestly one of the biggest constants in my life.

When my family made the official decision to move from the east coast to the west coast, my grandparents offered to bring my sister and I out at the end of summer so that we could spend the extra time with our father. It was a fair bit of a long drive, but even then my grandfather trusted me with reading the map (before GPS systems). I almost think his belief in me helped me grow to the independent woman I am today. I have a lot to credit him for.

They stayed with us at our new place for a few days. Early in the morning, him and I would get up and drive to a hotel or another homey restaurant to eat. He was not a chain-restaurant type of person. Even back in the town he worked, he had one particular restaurant he preferred to eat at, and everybody knew his specials and what he enjoyed eating. He always preferred the homestyle cooking. In fact, he met my grandmother while she was waitressing at such a type of restaurant. My family and I have visited that restaurant a few times and imagined what it must have been like. They still have the juke boxes and the old stools. Sometimes it’s nice to preserve history rather than to embrace change.

We then took a trip to the “big city” so my grandparents could see it before they left. We had a lot of fun. At one point, we lost my grandfather in the big mall. I’ll never forget him driving around on those motorized scooters for people who can’t walk well. He had even gotten an orange smoothie and I guess spilled it all over the machine. If you knew my grandfather like I did, you would picture him using colourful language for the time he was mad, then acting like nothing ever happened.

I don’t remember how we ever found him, but I can tell you it was one of the hardest good-byes of my life.This wasn’t just moving a few hours away, this was a four day drive across the country. Of course they would come visit again, but the visits would never be as frequent as before. What I didn’t know was that my tears would get worse before they ever got better.

Literally two or three days after we returned to our new home, I got a call from my grandmother. It sounded like her for sure, but something was a little different. She asked to speak to my mom pretty much right away, so I gave my mom the phone and sat on the landing of the stairs. My mother took the phone into her room which was at the top of the stairs. The next words I heard told me pretty much everything I didn’t want to hear. She said, as she began crying, “Oh Mom!”.

My grandparents had been involved in a car accident on their journey home. An impatient driver went in their lane to pass a semi-truck and didn’t see my grandparents van coming at them. My grandmother was in the hospital, a little bruised but otherwise ok (she would later need nose surgery to correct the alignment). My grandparents’ friend who was helping them drive home had so many broken bones, including ribs and shoulder, and would also need counselling for what happened (he was driving at the time – completely not his fault). But my grandfather didn’t make it.The speed they were traveling on the highway, and the impact of a completely head-on hit left the vehicle in shambles and took my grandfather with it.

Immediately, we packed and drove back to the city. I thankfully had a great aunt and uncle who lived just outside the limits and welcomingly invited us in until we could all make arrangements to fly home. My mother was able to fly right away to be with my grandmother, but there were 4 more of us to fly, and we had to wait for a cheaper ticket to afford it.

It was so strange when I got home. Being in my grandparents house seemed so normal. I mean, I was only at my “new home” for less than a week. I had no attachments to it and didn’t even have to act like it was supposed to be my new home. I had come home and it felt like life should be normal again.

I know I cried a few times, but I remember just having the attitude and thoughts of “My grandfather is just at his office, staying the night like he usually does. Sometime he’ll come home.”

I still remember it as clear as yesterday: My mother and I were sitting in the living room, on separate couches, not talking much as we didn’t for a while, and her saying the exact same thing that I felt – that Grampy was just at his office and sometime he would come home. And it hit us right then that we had to realize it was wasn’t true, that Grampy really wasn’t coming back. I broke down (just like I am again now) because he was always there, for everything! How could he not come back this time! How could the one stable thing in my life not come back! It was so hard to accept.

Sitting in his house, seeing all of his old stuff, going to his office, it was all so hard to do when you realize the person who has always been there for you, the person who has loved you your whole life was suddenly gone. My nickname would never be used again, except when telling stories of him. My promise from him of giving me my first car would never come true. My life was drastically left with an empty hole that I’m not sure was ever filled again. Nobody could take his place, and I could never have been prepared for that instant change in time.

Life is not fair, and it never will be. The devil is waiting for any opportunity to attack and make a mess of things. He knows which strings to pull and he knows how to make things hurt you more than anyone else. He knows he can damage us and take away everything that means the world to us, which is why it’s so important to turn to God when you’re hurting, to let Him hold you and tell you that everything is going to be ok, because one day, it will. One day, when Jesus returns and we are taken to Heaven with Him, there will not be anymore pain, there will not be anymore death, there will not be anymore tears. I don’t know what my grandfather’s relationship with Christ was like. I know he sort of had a falling out at one point, but he insisted my mom make sure she took us to church. So I only hope and pray that he had a good relationship with God, because it would be so nice to run into those loving arms I miss so dearly, the loving arms that were missing during both of my graduations and my wedding, the loving arms that were taken away from me way too soon.

I miss this man more than anything, and truly just thinking of how much I miss him brings me to tears almost instantly. Hold your loved ones close and make sure you let them know how important they are to you. You never know which instant will take them away.

When It Rains, It Definitely Pours! Smile Anyway!

Hello everyone. It has been an incredible journey (you can decide whether it was bad or good) since my last post. This is probably one of my first “down-time” moments I’ve had in the last month. Crazy!

So last time I wrote, I was in the Phoenix, AZ airport, awaiting my plane to Los Angeles. Tired. My plane to Los Angeles was on time and absolutely fine. However, according to the new tickets they had given me, I was supposed to change airlines. Weird, eh? So I was now switching airlines (of whose names I will not post to avoid hard feelings). I quickly found out that the LA airport is HUGE and of course the two airlines were in different terminals. For those of you who don’t know, the airport has 9 terminals. It’s crazy. They have their own bus shuttle service to get you around to the different ones.

Anyways, so I jump on the shuttle, he takes me to the new terminal, and I wait in line. I get to the counter, show them the computer printout I had been given, and the nightmare began. I was told I had a reservation, but there was no ticket in my reservation. Of course this sounded absolutely ridiculous but I asked what I needed to do. She simply told me to go back to the other airline and just request for them to do it again. So back I walked.

When I arrived back at the original airline, I told my story. The lady looked at me like I was ridiculous but complied and did the whole booking process again and also gave me printed out ticket vouchers that stated the exact plane I was supposed to be on. Seriously, they looked just like airline tickets, except for the word coupon on them. This was supposed to make the process easier.

So once again, I walked over (I had given up on waiting for shuttle). Mind you, the walking is significant as I had packed all of my new books in my carry on which made it weigh my shoulders down, as well as my purse which people tell me I must pack bricks in. So I am tired AND worn out AND frustrated.

I get back to the other airline only to notice the line has doubled. I think I waited close to half hour before reaching the counter. Possibly even 40 minutes. I got to the counter, explained the whole story again, and wouldn’t you know, I now have THREE reservations, and still no tickets. So I took a deep breath and handed her the the coupon tickets that I had received and showed her that I’m supposed to be on the next plane, the $300 was covered by the coupon, etc… She told me to hold on one minute, got on the phone and did whatever she did. Only to get off the phone and hand the coupon tickets back to me and tell me there was nothing she could do. I seriously think my jaw dropped to the floor. Then I told her that even I could read the coupon tickets and tell her I’m supposed to be here right now and getting on the next flight. She told me that yes, I should be there, but there was nothing she could do. I would have to go back to the original airline and tell them to get me a different flight.

Can you imagine? I was ready to just bawl my eyes out. Stuck in the states, not with my husband, can’t get to Canada, maybe not even make it for the wedding, and almost no outlook of getting out of Los Angeles. But I got myself together and walked back to the other terminal; to the original airline.

When I reached there, the lady from the counter saw me and asked why I was back. I told her the whole story, still trying not to burst right out in tears. She actually told me that I had the actual ticket and that I needed to march back there and tell them to take it. And I simply looked at her with a painstaking (and probably horribly tired-looking eyes) face and told her that I wasn’t going back there because I was going to miss the flight anyways and there was no way they were going to take it.

The lady looked at me and told me to hold on before disappearing behind a grey door. And there I stood, for close to 20 minutes, not knowing how this day would turn out. Not knowing where I would go.

The lady came out and basically insulted the other airline, telling me that she wasn’t sure what their problem was and that they were “playing games” and then took a very sympathetic tone with me. She gave me two options, one of switching to another airline and making it home by 11:00 p.m. or staying with their airlines and making it home by 12:15 a.m. I told her I don’t care about the hour difference, I’m sticking with this airline because I just want to go home.

I had a long wait at the airport. But eventually I was back on a flight to Phoenix (never should have left there in the first place) and then on the flight to Edmonton.

Now of course I was relieved just to make it back, even though I was 24 hours late, super tired, and worn out. But it hit me that I had no idea where my checked bags would be. I already knew they would not be on the belt when they unloaded the suitcases. I hadn’t seen mine since I had left Colorado.

I waited at the belt to be sure, but of course they were not there. I casually walk over to luggage services, and they trace my bags back to Los Angeles. I told the lady that it would make sense and gave her a brief overview of the story and signed papers for them to be delivered and authority for a customs check.

As I’m almost out the airport doors, the luggage lady runs after me and says to hold on and that they found one of my bags. So I said ok, and she took me back through customs to claim my bag.

Then as I’m leaving the airport a second time, the luggage lady runs after me again asking if I didn’t mind sitting because she had one more place she’d like to check. So I sat, knowing that late night/early morning hours don’t really matter at this point anyways, and there she came, rolling my other suitcase! Hallelujah! One thing down!

Then I took a taxi to my sister’s place, had a quick shower, packed her belongings as well as mine, and took a taxi to my place as she is moving in.

I don’t like the situation she was in at the place she was living in. There are a great deal of things that I don’t agree with that her boyfriend does and the way he treats her, and her life is somewhat a mess. So she is here temporarily to get her feet back on the ground, get a job, get her ID so she can get a job, and hopefully see the destruction in her relationship. Please, please pray for her. The relationship is not a healthy one.

So we get here, and I get a total of 2 hours of sleep before I have to get up. Because I was a day late, that gave me less time for the appointments for the wedding, less time to get my sister settled in, and really less time for anything and everything.

So I began with a trip to the mall to get my sister a bus pass. She would need it to get around the city and I would have to teach her how to use the busses. As we went around and I completed my nail appointment that day, before I knew it, it was time to go to the rehearsal dinner. Oh boy.. I hit the ground running.

The rehearsal dinner went fine, and of course everyone was asking me about why my husband wasn’t there, my flight story, etc.

That night, I had 5 hours of sleep before I had to get up to SQUEEZE in an eyelash appointment, and a spray tan to try and cover my horrible tan lines (didn’t work) as well as continue teaching my sister how to use the bus system. I literally got home and right away had to go to my friend’s house to get ready for bachelorette evening. No time, no time.

Bachelorette evening went off without too much of a hitch. I stayed the night at the bride’s house since it was late, got up with them Saturday morning, and went to church. After church we had a family potluck, and then the bride’s father (who knows me very well) told me I should go home and take a nap before the gathering potluck later because he could see I desperately needed sleep. However, when I got dropped off at home, I realized my ticket to visit my family in New Brunswick was booked for 1:30 the next night, the night of the reception! I would have not a drop of time to pack tomorrow! Needless to say, instead of napping, I spent my time emptying out my old suitcases (no time for laundry) and packing everything ahead of time for my NB trip. This took quite awhile as I was also trying to pick up a few things so my sister could feel slightly more at home and had to take a trip to grocery store so my sister had food to eat while I was gone. I was rushing and rushing and rushing with no time to rest.

I called when I had finished packing and knew it was about time for the bbq to start, so I got picked up, went over and ate, and headed to the church at 9:30 p.m. I don’t think we left the church from decorating and planning until at least 12:30 a.m. What a night…

Funny thing is, the hair lady wasn’t supposed to arrive until 9:00 a.m., but had been surprised by her husband with a surprise vacation and thus needed to arrive at 7:00 a.m. Opportunity for some extra sleep = gone!

But the wedding day was amazing, and I was incredibly satisfied with the way everything looked and how I looked despite my intense sleep deprivation, and we had so much fun at the reception. Now, the reception did end at 10:00 (not that everyone left at this time) but I had to rush right out the door, before even the bride and groom, in order to make it to my place to change and then to the airport to check in enough time before my flight. I would be so glad when this rush is over…

I did make it, my flights were fine, but I was so exhausted, hungry, and just plain worn out.

It was nice to be in NB with my family, in a small community instead of being in the large city. I was missing my husband horribly and needed sleep incredibly badly. I slept so much for a few days. I was tired all the time.

But I really did have a good visit. Spent quite a bit of time in St. Andrews. If you have never been to St. Andrews, New Brunswick, Canada, GO! You’re on the ocean, it’s a quaint little town, and even the restaurants have the option of their patios which are on the beach of the ocean. It honestly does not get any better than that. It’s a place of calm and peace with some really nice and unique stores on the main st. The food is amazing as everything is local and fresh, the fish are freshly caught and sold right on the dock in the middle of main st. Everyone is so friendly and just happy and smelling the ocean air day after day is incredible. The breeze, the sunsets and the sunrises with their reflections on the water. The botanical gardens, the whale watching adventures, the sport fishing, and even the new shark fishing are just the most amazing. (Disclaimer: you aren’t “hunting” to kill sharks. There has been a huge amount of sharks moving into the Bay of Fundy and so you are with a trained professional to capture sharks and tag them so they can keep better track. Thrill of a lifetime!)

I was able to visit all of my grandparents, including my two great grandmothers: 87 and 95!! They both still live on their own and although one has beginning dementia and the other has heart problems, they’re still both in good humour and attitude! Oh yes, my great grandmothers have their own little quirks. They got some sass left! 🙂

I missed my husband incredibly, and was drudging the idea of returning to the city. I wanted to stay in the relaxing environment and just feel the ocean breeze day after day. But lo’ and behold, it was almost 3 weeks in NB and I had to go.

Now I cried a lot on the way back as well. One reason being that my family was going through some issues and I felt bad leaving them that way. The second reason being that my biological father doesn’t always completely open up about how he feels. But this time he did and he didn’t want to see me leave. I can imagine there were tears shed, although he didn’t mention that part. So that made it incredibly hard. And the third and most dooming reason was that I knew I was returning to my apartment, my husband’s and my first home we called ours, and he wasn’t going to be there. That was incredibly hard to swallow. I never had time to face that fact until that time. Let’s just say, I was a tear-running mess.

I made it back home without and travel problems, of course it was the wee hours of the morning, and had to get up and get tons of things done. I am and was then currently starting a brand new fitness challenge, as well as being involved in a Mary Kay challenge (I’m a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant as well). So I had certain foods to buy, things for school were needed since I had to be at work the next day, etc…

Monday came, I showed up at work. Got a bit done, but we had a Love & Logic meeting that took some time. If you are having discipline problems, I highly recommend the Love & Logic program. Excellent for saving you extra stress!

Tuesday came, got some work done, but sat through a very long staff meeting. Ended up with a headache and pretty much got nothing I wanted to have done, done.

Wednesday came, got more work done, but sat through a long core group meeting. *Sigh… these meetings start to wear on you.

Thursday came, got probably the most amount of work done, came home and continued with the fitness program (which I had been doing everyday). Also on Thursday, I realized that the schedules for classes, as they were made, actually wouldn’t work. They had double booked my kids for two classes they are required to take. Oh boy! Let’s just say the other teachers did not want to change their schedules that they had already finalized to accommodate. Some serious anger going around.

Thought we had the issue fixed in a very painless way for everyone, only to wake up Friday and realize that our new solution won’t work either. Another conflict for my kids. And so it was taken to official hands and out of mine. It was Friday, school starts Monday. Not looking so good. Not to mention that our field and playground are completely torn up by renovations (actually a sea of dirt, no grass in sight) and we’re not sure what we’re doing about recesses yet.

But since Friday was here, I needed to get around and get some things done. Basically everything went well and the actual working solution to my scheduling problem was found.

Now I’d like to insert a huge blessing at this point because it definitely needs mentioning. When I had mentioned switching a gym period with another teacher, it was received with frustration and anger. Mind you the teachers reminded me it wasn’t towards me but they were unwilling to change their schedules. Normally I’m a very easily hurt person, but with all the craziness going on, I just kinda shoved it off. That same day, a couple hours later, those upset teachers came to the office, passed me on the way and asked if it was solved yet and I had said no not yet as I continued walking past (on my way to photocopier). They had gone to the office, but I hadn’t seen why. Later that evening, the secretary who of course is always busy with getting stuff ready for the beginning of school, busy taking care of registrations and parents coming in and uniform measurements and ordering, sent me a message. She was simply asking if I was ok because she had seen everything going on. I can’t tell you how much I love this woman! I can seriously accredit half of my survival the last year and some to this woman. God knew I would need her, and need her I did. Sometimes it just takes someone like that to boost your spirits, and it definitely did. I will continue to sing her praises as she is one of the most selfless women I have ever met.

So then comes Saturday. I’m out walking, and seriously had to cross maybe 6 feet of grass to get back on pavement, and the grass was kind of long, probably needing a mowing soon, and before you know it, I’m down on the ground and pounding the earth with my fist. I look behind me, and my foot is straight down in the ground, toes in first and heel sticking straight up. A gopher hole of all things. Obviously this was an old gopher hole as the grass had grown back out of the hole, thus the reason for not seeing the hole and of course the grass was the same height as the rest. I couldn’t believe it. 3 days until school starts, because of the new scheduling changes, I’m on recess duty alone once a day, and there goes my foot. *Sigh… off to the hospital.

At the hospital, the doctor did the x-rays and whatever. He said that it was just a bad sprain and his advice was “Let your pain be your guide” which resulted in no crutches or anything. I had my sister wheeling me around in a wheel chair while we were in the hospital, but no crutches for home. So, the hopping began. 3 busses and a ton of hopping and tiredness on the one leg and out of breath and sweat was horrible. I was not prepared. They had offered me pain killers at the hospital but I told them as long as I didn’t use the foot, it was fine.

Well, the man’s “Let your pain be your guide” philosophy definitely was not great advice. When I got home last night, my foot just throbbed! It was the pain that is achy and not stabbing like a knife but so uncomfortable that you’re wincing in pain just to find a position that will keep it from throbbing so badly.

I elevated it, iced it, heat packed it, and eventually was able to fall asleep after some Advil kicked in.

So today I’m supposed to get groceries. I was supposed to go to the school to finish up before the kids come. I’m supposed to be doing a new workout today to continue my fitness program. I’m supposed to be up and working my Mary Kay business to continue my challenge. And I’m here on the couch with an elevated foot.

*Sigh… not sure how this is all coming together, but somehow I know God will bring me through. At the hospital I had no choice but to smile and laugh. How ridiculous was it that I was walking a few hours before, I was busy but was getting things done, and yet here I sat in a wheelchair. Suddenly immobile when I needed to be mobile the most. I have a total new appreciation for people who have to live in wheelchairs everyday. My 2 hours in a wheelchair is nothing like the endless days, months, and years that these people endure. I’m so proud of them. Seriously am. It’s fun when you’re a kid to pretend you need a wheelchair, but not when you’re older. You become so conspicuous and everything becomes more difficult. If you are reading this and use a wheelchair, I have huge respect for you and appreciation for you! You are incredible!

So needless to say, I’m still trying to work things out in my mind. Recovery is set for a couple weeks. I have recess duty in 2 days. I have school in 2 days, and I also travel on bus. It’s not a good combination, especially for someone that does not have crutches or any type of assistance. But here I go. Another trial, another determined breakthrough.

I suppose that I also should mention that Canadian VISA is on strike (found out at the wedding) and thus NO VISAS are being processed except for a few student VISAs. Which means I have no idea how long before they’ll continue working on my husband’s paperwork so he can join me once again. Just another addition to my list 🙂

So I hope you guys know, and can kinda see that yes, when it rains, sometimes it does pour! It’s never pleasant, and quite frankly, it just sucks. But God does not allow you to bear more than you can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13) and if you can manage to stay positive, even through the worst of things, how much stress will you alleviate from yourself! I encourage you to know that you can make it through what you’re going through. I believe in you. We will fight this battle of the world together. Just stand strong, look at your troubles, and smile. You will get through this!