All Fruit Day – Healing Journey Day 34

Journal:
I am finally on to eating all fruit! I’m so excited. I don’t have to depend on a blender anymore. Honestly, making smoothies isn’t so bad when I’m home with a blender, but even though I have a blender at work, it’s hard for me to break away from the students to take the time needed to make a smoothie, wash the blender, etc. To be successful with a smoothie feast, here are my tips:

  1. Always have a blender. Bring it with you everywhere.
  2. If you’re short on time, prep the fruit ahead of time. Freeze if possible so it is always ready to go.
  3. Try to make a big smoothie to take with you if you are going to be busy, so you don’t have to worry about finding time to make another smoothie (which also means buy a big cup or container to put it in!).

So today, for a snack, I had an orange pippin apple. I had never had this variety before, but it is delicious! The flavour is intense and wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed my apple.

For lunch, I had a Keitt mango and it was phenomenal. When I bought these mangoes, they were completely unripe, hard as a rock, and costed me $3 per mango. I took a huge chance when I bought these, but I couldn’t be any happier that I did. They have been the best mangoes I have had in years. Oh my goodness. I am in love! Sadly, today’s mango was my last one. I am going to miss them dearly.

mango

So, as you can kind of tell, I didn’t get a lot of time to eat today. But, that’s why having easy-access fruit is crucial with my job. I only get short minutes here and there to eat, so if the fruit is not ready to go right away, then chances are I won’t be able to eat it or at least won’t be able to eat much of it.

I didn’t end up eating anything for the rest of the day. In fact, it wasn’t until I finished work, got home, went to get my local soccer player’s card, went to Eurosport and bought indoor soccer shoes, shin pads, and new highlighter yellow soccer socks, that I finally went to another smoothie place called Jugo Juice. Jugo Juice is a place that serves fresh juices and smoothies and unlike Booster Juice, never uses sorbet in their smoothies (hence why I’ve been getting only the juice/smoothies at Booster Juice).

At Jugo Juice, I got a smoothie called Blushing Mango. It had guava and passionfruit juices, blended with frozen raspberries and frozen mangoes. It was VERY good.

bj

After finishing my smoothie, I ended up coming home. I didn’t end up making it to the gym because I was tired from not eating a lot throughout the day (my mistake). I also have had a chill all day, never seeming to be able to get warm. This made it difficult for me to want to go back outside to drive to the gym. We have snow on the ground already and after doing my morning recess duty, it’s like the chill was in my bones all day. I’m not enjoying this early winter.

I did end up drinking a little bit of organic blueberry juice before I went to bed (so hungry), but that was it for the day.

Review of Symptoms:
-HUNGRY! (Need to eat more throughout the day!)

-Acne still bad…
-Digestion is good.
-Tongue very minimally covered.

Weight at the end of the day = 171.2 lbs (down 3 lbs from yesterday)

Total Calories = 946 (96% carbs, 2% fat, 2% protein… need to eat more tomorrow…)

Mono-Juice Feasting – Healing Journey Day 10

Journal:
I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I think I’m getting lazy. I felt good as always, but the nice, warm blankets on a cool day were a little too inviting. Either way, it was a work day, so I had to get up.

I noticed today that I wasn’t really “craving” juice. I’m actually beginning to really like the thought of vegetables. Yes, vegetables. Even lettuce sounds good right now. However, it’s going to be a bit longer until I get some veggies, so I have to keep my mind in the fruit game for now.

The juice of choice today was organic pear juice. Now, I’ve had pear nectars in the past and they weren’t overly sweet. But this juice? Honest to goodness, it tasted like liquid honey. I don’t even eat honey anymore. But the richness of this drink blew me out of the water. If you are ever missing honey after going vegan, grab a bottle of this and the honey cravings will be gone.

pear

Now, this juice was so good that I actually had to run to the bathroom to double check my tongue. Remember how I said my tongue always tasted terrible when coated with the white, detox stuff? Well, my tongue was not perfectly clean, but it was SIGNIFICANTLY less coated than normal. I was shocked. Perhaps this means my body is almost done detoxing? I have no idea and at the same time I doubt it. My face still has a lot to clear before I will begin to think I have little toxins left. But still, the tongue is progress!

So today was a good day. It was pretty chill with the students, leading up to an afternoon that we spent at the community park. It was a great day to soak up some Vitamin D and allow the students to get some energy out. Overall, it was a great day.

After coming home, I laid down to rest for a bit. I think this is coming back to my laziness because it’s not that I was really tired, I just have been forming a habit of coming home, watching YouTube and taking a nap. I think this is something I’m going to have to work on and fix.

After finally waking up and convincing myself to get out of bed (temperature dropped so the warm, cozy blankets were begging me to stay), I went to the gym and got a little more aggressive in my workout. Instead of a simple bike ride or walking on the treadmill, I went at a decent pace on the elliptical for 30 minutes. It felt so good. I think, from here on out, I am going to get more aggressive with my workouts, little by little.

What surprises me the most is that I’m only consuming around 2L of juice per day lately. My body does not want more than that. I don’t feel a dip in energy at all. But what my body is asking for is more water. Not that I’m dehydrated, but it’s just what my body wants. Remember that I said I was going to listen to my body? Well, that’s what I’m doing. So once again, I only drank about 2L of pear juice, and upped the amount of water I was drinking. I only have 3 more days of juice left to go, so it will be interesting to see what happens by the end.

Review of Symptoms:
-Tongue not as white today. Less scraping to do.
-Stomach sounds like the rolling thunder at times (internal cleaning?).
-Energy is good.
-Acne has little bumps again.

Weight at the end of the day = 179 lbs (down 9.8 lbs from the beginning)

Total Calories = 1030 (100% carbs, 0% fat, 0% protein)

 

Water Fasting – Healing Journey Day 4

Journal:
My stomach officially hurts. I did sleep better last night, waking up at 6:00 instead of 4:00 for which I’m grateful for. But I can’t deny that I feel my stomach so much today. Today marks 4 days without food, and only 2 days of drinking water. I have not had any issues drinking water right away this morning so my adjustment period was definitely yesterday.

**TMI Warning: I think my stomach pain may also be related to the need to use the washroom but the inability to do so for the past two days. I’m assuming that because my digestion has been shut down – essentially – for the past 4 days that it is causing the lack of movement. However, later in the day (towards the end of the day), I was finally able to have some elimination with the assistance of proper washroom posture. In case you are not aware, proper posture involves propping your feet on a stool or bench that allows your body to enter a 35 degree angle. Here is a great video to watch by a company that creates a stool specifically for this purpose:

https://youtu.be/pYcv6odWfTM

Some people have complained about headaches when doing any kind of fasting. Thankfully, I’m not a person who regularly gets headaches  and so I have not experienced any kind of headache.

I also think I have figured out what is going on with the temperature reactions in my body. My stomach is ON FIRE!! I can only assume this is from my body metabolizing my fat stores for food/energy. But the burning in my stomach is causing my limbs to become cold much more quickly. And when I turn the heat on, it amplifies the heat coming from my stomach making me way too warm. I’m not going to say the experience is miserable, but it’s definitely not my favourite. Either way, I managed to go to work this morning and somehow make it through the day.

How am I feeling about food right now? Oh my goodness… would I love to have anything; bread, vegan pizza (though not craving cheese of any kind), vegan croissants, baguettes, etc. Oddly enough, it’s mostly bread products but I’m almost thinking more than the taste, it is the texture of sinking my teeth into something soft and cushy. Texture often plays a big part in our food desires, and the thought of something so nice and cushy that almost melts in your mouth sounds absolutely amazing. But in reality, almost anything vegan would do. I’m starting to think about food more often, though it’s still fairly easy to bypass food, especially when the students are eating and microwaving their food, and the stash that is ever beside me on the floor. My NewsFeed on Facebook is also still full of people making different delicious vegan foods that look so appetizing, and yet somehow I’m still going strong. That being said, I am so looking forward to having lemon in my water tomorrow and especially to starting my juice feast on Thursday. I am currently just counting down the days to having some type of calories in my body. The time is actually going by fairly quickly though I look forward to feeling stronger again.

I did not go to the gym tonight. I didn’t make this decision based on energy stores, but simply because I don’t want to kill myself when I’m only in the middle of the work week. Work has been particularly stressful and unfortunately, the lack of calories in my body has caused my brain not to function at 100% capacity causing things to wear me out more than normal. Instead of being on my feet all day, I take more opportunities to sit down and I choose my walking trips a little more carefully. I also noticed that while I’m walking, I also feel almost like my legs are a little more jelly-like than normal. This is something I more than look forward to going away.

I drank approximately 3L today which is an improvement from yesterday’s 1.25-1.5L.

Review of Symptoms:
Face has no changes. Not really any new acne, but still a lot of room for improvement. Stomach pain is more prevalent. Body feels weak though somehow continues to do everything I need it to do. Mentality is not as strong as it could be, though it does seem to be stronger when I’m not physically active and draining my body that way. Stomach almost felt a little bloated today which is an interesting thing to consider. Thoughts are going towards food more often and counting down the days to lemon water tomorrow and my juice feast starting Thursday. Still experiencing temperature extremes though for the most part, I have been very warm in my midsection (stomach on fire) and very cold in my limbs. Very minimal shaking in the morning today though very weak. I also experienced some – at least what feels like – heartburn or acid reflux in the later part of the evening. I am not sure why this is occurring, but this is also not a pleasant experience.

Weight at the end of the day = 182.6 lbs (down 2.8 lbs in 24 hours, down 6.2 lbs in 72 hours).

Total Calories = 0

Water Fasting – Healing Journey Day 3

Journal:
Well, after being so tired yesterday, I expected to be as tired today. I didn’t go to sleep until after midnight, so I set four alarms to  make sure I got up this morning. Sadly to say, for whatever reason, I woke up wide awake at 4:00 a.m. Of all the things that could happen, I wake up at 4:00. I didn’t wake up starving nor dying of thirst, but completely was wide awake. It makes no sense to me.

So what did I do at 4:00 in the morning? I decided it was time to consume some water. Sadly, it didn’t come with the fireworks I was expecting. It was good, but I honestly think of could have done dry fasting for another day. However, since I work with students, I don’t want to take the risk of being completely active all day long and not have my body running on anything. So breaking into my water fast is the process I’ve begun.

So what did it actually feel like to drink water again? It puts me in a hesitant state. I’m not sure my body is fully accepting it to be honest. I feel like there is a possibility of running to the washroom at some point and also a possibility of vomiting the water back up. It’s unsettling for sure. My energy is not where I want it to be; it’s not as good as last night, but not as bad as yesterday morning so I began praying early to survive the day.

Thankfully, I did survive the day with only one person commenting on how tired I looked. I also was yawning a lot when she said it, so that was a clue.

I couldn’t drink very much in the morning. In fact, though I had imagined I would be guzzling water throughout the day, I really don’t think my body was ready for too much water. It almost “hurt” my stomach without actually being painful. But around midday, water began to go down easier (6 hours past the initial sip). The feeling in my stomach is gone for the most part though food does sound good. It was a test to go through two snack times and a lunch period sitting with my students while all of them are eating. The smells are what got to me the most. But somehow, I still found it fairly easy to bypass the food they were eating and the emergency stash I have by my desk.

Following school, I had a meeting with a parent. It was a positive meeting and the mother was so wonderful, she even brought me a bag of tomatoes from her garden. Oh, how I would LOVE to eat those tomatoes. But since it will be quite awhile until I will be eating tomatoes, I am looking at options of either buying a dehydrator to dehydrate them or perhaps finding a method of canning. I am sticking with this journey 100% and not willing to skip stages. I’m holding out well.

Once the meeting was over, I came home and took a nap. It felt so good to take a nap though I freaked out when I woke up thinking it was 7:30 in the morning and I was going to be late for work. It took a few minutes to sink in that it was only 7:30 at night and that everything was going to be ok.

It took awhile for me to get up because I was very cold. I am finding that my body is reacting more extremely to temperatures. For example, when my heater is on, even on the lowest setting, I am pretty warm, almost too warm for blankets. But when the heater is off and the basement gets the cool feeling again, I start freezing so much I cannot even fathom getting out from the blankets. I’m having a hard time finding a happy medium at the moment and I’m hoping this will sort itself out.

I did go to the gym today though I was heavily debating whether I should or not, especially after feeling so tired all day. However, I’ve been working out for years, so I figured that I cannot completely stop now. Aside from cardiovascular benefits, I considered the fact that exercise might actually help me feel warm again after feeling cold for awhile. It worked, and I actually was stronger than I though I would by cycling on a stationary bike. My pace was much slower than normal, but I wasn’t about to make this an all-out sweating session, but rather just a health activity.

So now it is the end of the day and I’m in bed, about to go to sleep. I am so looking forward to only two more days of water fasting and finally getting to drink fruit juice on Thursday. I’m hoping that the lemon slices I’ll be adding to my water on Wednesday will give my body a little energy kick with the most minimal of calories but still something compared to nothing.

Review of symptoms:
This morning, my face actually had a sign of improvement: there were no new pimples! Almost every morning I’ve had at least one new one if not several. Perhaps my body has had enough time cycling everything on the inside without having outside substances to deal with that it is able to concentrate on healing my acne. This is good news for me! My energy is lacking; not horribly like yesterday morning, but not as awesome as last night. I was also shaky again this morning and though it is certainly not as bad as yesterday, it is definitely noticeable. Though I wasn’t able to drink much in the morning, it picked up throughout the day. In total, I think I drank about 1.25-1.5L of water today. Much less than expected, but not bad for my body to adjust to. My body is reacting to temperatures in extreme ways and I’m really hoping this will sort itself out. Something I didn’t expect but totally noticed today was that my teeth are whiter! I haven’t done anything special. In fact, I’ve just been using my clay toothpaste. But the yellow tinge they had before starting my fasting is almost completely gone and they are looking pretty white. This is an exciting side effect!

Weight at the end of the day: 185.4 (down .2 lbs from yesterday, a total of 3.6 pounds lost in 48 hours)

Total Calories = 0

Coconut Oil and Eyes: The Follow-Up

Recently, I had an experience that really freaked me out. I had just gotten ready to leave the house and meet someone, and both of my eyes were going seriously blurry! I know I’ve had slight eye problems in the past, but this was almost like something was coating my eyes. I rubbed them way too much trying to get rid of it. It would go away, but then as soon as I looked down and back up, it would be back. It did go away eventually, but it made the thought of driving scary for awhile.

Naturally, I panicked over this. I couldn’t believe I was going to have some eye disease or condition. But then I got this brilliant idea to see if coconut oil must have had something to do with it. So I began researching, and lo and behold, I found my answer. Let me tell you guys, as scary as my experience was, coconut oil is SO good for your eyes!

eye.jpg

So here’s the deal. I was being a little lazy, and not cleaning my mascara off at night. This led to me cleaning it with my homemade coconut oil eye makeup remover in the morning. Mixed with warm water, it is absolutely possible to get a little bit of the coconut oil in my eyes. Guys, coconut oil DOES NOT hurt or sting when it gets in your eyes. You’d probably never even know.

So what I researched is that coconut oil will coat your eyes. It is advised to use coconut oil at night (aka not be so lazy) because it will just prepare itself as one of those corner-of-your-eyes sleepy things in the morning, easily removed and your eyes won’t be blurry. This is a simple enough fix.

As I continued to research, I actually found out that coconut oil was a lot better than I thought for you! This is a summary of the most extreme testimony I found.

A poor woman had a bacteria/parasite infestation. For her body, she was put on some drugs from her doctor. She was also using drops for her eyes but they weren’t giving her good results. So she talked to someone who mentioned using coconut oil drops. She did this, and every morning, the same parasite eggs that the prescribed drugs were pushing through her skin were also in the corner of her eyes in the morning, ready to be wiped away. The coconut oil was actually cleaning her eyes when over-the-counter drops were not working. How awesome is that?

I always prefer natural products, things that have no chemicals, no additives that I don’t want on my body, and natural things that are brought from the earth. If you haven’t tried the coconut oil yet, definitely give it a try! Just remember to use it at night, and not in the morning to avoid blurry eyes!

Canadian Soldiers… 3 Days to be Kicked Out!

Ok so here’s the deal. I love Canada. I’ve always been proud of being a Canadian. In fact, there’s nowhere else in the world I’ve ever dreamed of living (except for those few moments in the winter when we hit -50s Celsius… then my mind begins to wander…). But this bit of news I’ve heard recently has suddenly “burned my biscuits” (my husband hates that phrase!).

Last night, on the news, there was – as there always is – an update on the Syrian refugee crisis. As many know, Canada has said they would take 10,000 refugees. Of course this has started all kinds of uproar, but aside from that whole raucous, I was EXTREMELY disappointed with what I heard. Are you ready for it?

They are removing soldiers from the barracks in order to give housing to the refugees.

No joke. Now, this is not all military bases, but still! And do you know how long they have to move? 3 days. Honestly, 3 days. What kind of appreciation to our troops is that?

First, they are told they have to leave their home in order to make homes for refugees. Last time I checked, military paycheques weren’t the greatest. I’m pretty sure barrack living is much cheaper than normal housing situations. So we’re going to kick out our soldiers who don’t have tons of money, who probably don’t have a down payment for a house or a damage deposit saved up for a rental, possibly causing some of them to become rather “homeless” in order to save from refugee homelessness? Does this even make sense?

Secondly, they are being given 3 days. 3 days. The number keeps flashing in my head. In most rental evictions, you get a week. In extreme cases, maybe less than that. But the thing is, the soldiers didn’t do anything wrong. They’re being evicted on zero grounds of things they’ve done themselves. And we’re given them the glorious number of 3 days to restructure their lives. Yup, 3 days to find a place (this can take forever), 3 days to move, 3 days to uproot their current lives and create new ones. 3 days is a joke. This is ridiculous.

What do you think, am I being too hard on our government? Am I not seeing the whole picture? Is the thought that maybe we should treat our soldiers well since they are prepared to give their lives for our country ridiculous? I’m beyond bewildered.

Maybe this is wrong, but can we not put up temporary housing for them until something else is figured out? I know if I was running away from a huge terror, I would be happy to end up in a warm church room, or a town hall, or any building with a roof over my head and warmth. I guarantee food donations and other things will be coming in. I know people are willing to help out. So why aren’t we using vacant places instead of kicking our own residents out?

If you have any clear thoughts, definitely leave them below. This whole situation just blows my mind. Leave it below and let’s hear some other thoughts on this whole situation!

Judgment: I’m Guilty of It Too

judge

I’m going to make this post a lot shorter than I originally  intended. Mainly because I’m not quite as heated up about it as I was at the time I wanted to write about it.

A student asked me this week if I would rather have 15 hour days or 34 hour days. I have no idea why those two numbers were picked, but I would definitely rather have the 34 hour days because then I would have more time to do things AND more time to sleep. I see it being a double win!

Anyways, I was part of another conversation on Facebook, a couple different ones I guess. And one thing I noticed is that people were very quick to judge who I was, especially if they didn’t agree with my opinion. I got called a hypocritical vegan, racist, a selfish person, etc. And that’s fine if it were true, and maybe somewhere in my actions, I don’t realize I am slightly those ways, but here is what the people didn’t know, and I called them out on this.

They didn’t know that I’m not a hypocritical vegan. I grew up eating meat. I was vegetarian for many, many years and only went back to eating meat because of getting into bodybuilding and fitness. I then became so miserable that I went to what I thought was only natural and the best for you – vegan. Since then, I’ve educated myself and now refuse to buy anything related to animal products. I research everything and to any of my knowledge do not buy animal-based products, even to the extent I refused to buy a new vehicle with leather in it! I only buy vegan make-up products, self-care products, and even now that my blowdryer just died after 11 years, I’m researching vegan blowdryers. Hypocritical? I really don’t think so…

Now racist and selfishness came in the same conversation with the ever trivial topic of the Syrian refugees. My point was to be careful with who we let in. I wasn’t saying to never let any Syrians in, I wasn’t saying to ban all Middle Eastern people, I was simply saying to be careful. It’s no different with any other race in any other country. I mean, there are WHITE people from North America that have joined ISIS. Am I going to say we should let them come back to our country just because they’re white? Absolutely not. My entire point was to be careful, to do the proper screening so that we can assess who really needs help from those that are actually terrorists that are trying to sneak in, because regardless of whether we like it or not, we live in a time where things like fake passports are easily available, some that are not even distinguishable from real ones. But back to what they didn’t know.

They didn’t know that in high school, I willingly gave up Christmas to go to Peru on a mission trip and give my time, my labour, and gifts to other people much more needy than myself. And no, my parents did not pay for that trip. They may have helped some, but most of that was fundraising and my own high school job that helped pay the thousands of dollars to go and give some more. They didn’t know that throughout high school and university, I spent extensive amounts of time gathering things for those less fortunate, and serving the homeless through things like soup kitchens and simply setting up tables in the middle of the homeless areas downtown for them to come get coats and other warm items to wear. What they didn’t know is that when I see people begging outside of grocery stores or gas stations in need of food or gas money or whatever, I stop and ask what it is that they need and pay for things for them. What they didn’t know was that in university, I was on a Choir trip to California, and the group of us (50+) were walking the streets of San Francisco where a homeless man was holding out a hat for money. Some rude boy walked by (not from our choir) and threw the money all over the ground. The homeless man was disabled and was having an extremely difficult time trying to reach the money. So regardless of how many countless people I saw walk by him, I stopped and picked up the money for him to which he was extremely grateful for and ended up handing me a Christian pamphlet. I will never forget that. What they don’t know is that even though I’ve become much too busy in my life to do as much as I want to help others, my heart aches when I see the disasters and injustices going on in this world. I cry about it. I pray about it. I cannot wait for God to return and wipe out all of the evil there is. Yes, things are not fair and I hate that it has to be that way.

But these are all the things these judgmental people didn’t know about me because they didn’t take a chance to know where I come from. Am I guilty of this sometimes? Absolutely. I will never profess to be perfect because sometimes you make judgement calls in the heat of the moment. But more and more I am consciously trying to take a step back, learn abut the person or situation, and then take a stand. Too often we are too quick to jump on something that we think is right without knowing the whole truth at all.

Take the time to be educated before jumping to conclusions.

Farmers Do Not Love Their Cows

I apologize that the title of this blog sounds hateful. I can assure you I don’t have farmers. For 2 years of my life, my family had our own farm. My best friend in university’s family had a beef farm, and for two years, my hairdresser and her husband had a beef farm. I don’t hate farmers in the least. But here is an argument I was part of this week.

Now, normally, I’m not such a vocal person. I’m not the kind of person who just looks for a fight or who believes everyone should think the same way I do. In fact, because of my Christian beliefs, I believe that God has given everyone the gift of free choice, and so I am not someone to take that away. Of course this gets bordered when it inflicts pain on others, but that’s a whole other topic. The fact is, in Exodus, God gave permission to eat certain animals, one of them being cows. So if you want to eat beef, I may not agree with it, but you have total right to do that. So that’s not where this argument is coming from.

What I saw this week was a picture of an almost frozen calf in a farmer’s truck. This is a typical appearance. In my two years of farming, we were up in the middle of the night to help our animals sometimes. I get the work it takes. I see the dedication farmers have. But the caption of the farmer is how much they cared/loved their cows. That’s where I had a problem.

Now, this world has problems enough with understanding what love really is. All too often we see people throwing around the “love” word without really meaning it. People date people and still keep their own needs above their partners. People get married, and stop caring for each other. This is an awful view of love. There are so many terrible views of love. One of the pure views of love that are left in the world is when I look at mothers who truly love their children. They will do anything to protect them and give them the best lives possible. That’s what love should be. Fighting for the one you love, willing to die for that person, that’s love.

Now, I know we are talking about animals and not humans, and many people do not consider them on the same level, so that’s fine. Let’s go with that. But love, in no sense of any manner, means killing the thing you love. Think of a child’s favourite toy, or an adult’s favourite car. You love that toy/car. If that object were to “die”, you would be incredibly upset and angry. These objects aren’t even alive. Yet the cows are. (This also goes for pigs/sheep/chickens, etc…)

So these ALIVE things that farmers are claiming they “love” are raised to be killed. Does that still seem like love to you? Is it caring to kill them?

I had someone tell me that ranchers and farmers are different. That’s cool. I can see they are different. That’s not a big deal to me. The ranchers say they are animal rights activists and they do what they can to give the cows the best lives they can. Well, although it does seem like a very nice gesture to give an animal the best life possible for their short lives, do you think they would call it a “good life” to live for a couple years then be killed? Would you call it a “good life” if you were raised to the age of 2 or 18 (2 year old cow = 18 years as a human) to know you would be placed with a bullet between your eyes and then cut apart for others to eat? Would you call that loving? Is that caring? Knowing you were only born to be food? I don’t think so.

I think there is such a disconnect in this world! It’s crazy! If you are willing to put all that care into an animal, taking a cow into your home to warm them up, saying that you “love” them, well, I will agree you are acting that way. But why do you stop loving them? Why does it change from this seemingly “love” feeling to a feeling of “get on my plate! Die!” Is that how you feel about your dog? Is that how you feel about your cat? Is that how you feel about your children? They’re only worth loving for so long before you get rid of them and don’t care what happens to them?

Some of you may be wondering why I have such a big deal over a simple word. But here’s the reason, people are not owning what actually happens. Sure, the cow may have a “good life” before its death date. But here’s what happens to this “beloved animal” on it’s death date. It gets taken on a usually overloaded cow trailer where they are not given water or anything of substance on the way to slaughter. Once they get to the slaughterhouse, they become terribly frightened. They hear other cows expressing their fright and just as a dog has amazing senses in the personality of humans, cows are no different. They can sense fear and know something is wrong. The “beloved” creatures are as scared as a child in the dark except darkness is easy to fix, death is not. So not only are they unloaded to this terrible place, many people abuse these animals while they are still alive, fighting with creatures who are only scared and reacting as such. Do you go in and punish your child for having a nightmare? These cows are LIVING their nightmare and being punished for it.

When the time comes to be killed, a bullet is put between their eyes. Now, according to government regulations, it’s ok if they’re not killed by that bullet as long as they are stunned and unable to move. Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s almost like a totally functioning person in a coma. These people, when out of the coma, are able to tell you things that people said because they were totally there, just not in control of their body. That’s how these cows are except they can’t tell you what people are saying, but they can tell you about the hooks that were painfully shoved through their legs. Would you like to be alive with hooks piercing your body? I’m going to guess not. Of course, the hook is not enough to kill the cow. So the next step is being sliced open down the middle of their bodies and through their neck. Mmm. What an awesome feeling while you’re still alive. So humane. Such a “loved” and “cared about” animal, right?

So here’s the thing. If you can accept what you do, and you have no problem saying cows are just money to you, that you don’t actually love them and don’t care about the violence you put them through, then by all means that’s at least not hypocritical. Again, I don’t agree with it and think it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are, but I at least appreciate the honesty. But if you advertise to the world that you are such a caring and loving person to these animals, you are so hypocritical and maybe even lying to yourself! I’m asking farmers and ranchers to take responsibility for their actions. You’re not really an animal rights activist when you’re still sending them to a bitter death. So that’s the part I have a problem with. Accept the realities of your job. Don’t just pretend that you’re doing something good for them because for all the good you did before, I guarantee the cows would choose a little less cozy life in exchange for keeping their lives. Nobody wants to die, not even animals. They are alive, they have thoughts, they are just unable to communicate to us the way we need to understand. So start thinking and accept what the truth is. That’s it. If you choose to continue to eat meat, like I said, that’s your choice. But know where that meat is coming from and what that animal is going through to get to your stomach when the world over knows a vegetarian/vegan diet is a way to thrive. You don’t need meat, you don’t need dairy products. But make your choice while being educated and not hiding the truth.

Know the truth, own your choice.

A Job That Makes Me Feel Loved

There is nothing better than knowing you are missed. And as a teacher, it is one of the things that keeps us going.

I missed Thursday due to the Immigration interview (or the attempt thereof). Following Thursday was a regular 3-day weekend. So I usually expect that by the time Monday hits, my kids will not only claim to have forgotten some of the skills they have learned (but seem to quickly remember when shown again), they will also forget that I was not present that day. I was quite surprisingly wrong.

When I came back to school on Monday, one of my students who is not always the most vocal and definitely not the most emotional walked straight in the classroom, first student in, and said, “You were very much missed on Thursday.” Wow. What a warm welcome to start my day. I love these kids. I love my job. It’s the moments like these that make my job worth all the sacrifices I have to make.

Week 13: Day 4 Extended

I REALLY did not want to get out of bed this morning. I was tired, my body was tired, my body ached all over, and I was just in bad shape. The warm shower really helped with all of those symptoms, except for the fact I was running late, again.

School went well. We had tutoring after school and that was a little bit crazy, but overall it went good again. We’ve finally made plans that after Christmas break, the three of us supervisors don’t need to be there every week, and one of us can do it at a time. That saves me about 3 days of work per month! I can handle that!

I stayed after school to get some grading done. I think I will appreciate later the fact that I’m getting work out of the way so that when deadlines approach, I won’t have quite as much to do. No more procrastinating!

After I went home, I had my celery and protein peanut butter again. Oh my goodness, how I look forward to that treat! As low as my calories are, that specific combination is a taste of paradise. Yum!

My husband was hungry and so we went out to eat. I had just enough macros to save for my protein shake after my workout and a salad with a chicken breast on it while eating with my husband. That way, I didn’t have to watch him eat. Though his burgers did look really good…

Tonight’s workout was hard at the beginning but in a way kind of got easier. I started off with a massive lack-of-food headache and had to have a coffee to get my body and mind in the game. Squats killed me. But I successfully completed the leg workout with 20 minutes of HIIT afterwards. Oh how was I ready to drink that shake and go to bed!