Water Fasting – Healing Journey Day 4

Journal:
My stomach officially hurts. I did sleep better last night, waking up at 6:00 instead of 4:00 for which I’m grateful for. But I can’t deny that I feel my stomach so much today. Today marks 4 days without food, and only 2 days of drinking water. I have not had any issues drinking water right away this morning so my adjustment period was definitely yesterday.

**TMI Warning: I think my stomach pain may also be related to the need to use the washroom but the inability to do so for the past two days. I’m assuming that because my digestion has been shut down – essentially – for the past 4 days that it is causing the lack of movement. However, later in the day (towards the end of the day), I was finally able to have some elimination with the assistance of proper washroom posture. In case you are not aware, proper posture involves propping your feet on a stool or bench that allows your body to enter a 35 degree angle. Here is a great video to watch by a company that creates a stool specifically for this purpose:

https://youtu.be/pYcv6odWfTM

Some people have complained about headaches when doing any kind of fasting. Thankfully, I’m not a person who regularly gets headaches  and so I have not experienced any kind of headache.

I also think I have figured out what is going on with the temperature reactions in my body. My stomach is ON FIRE!! I can only assume this is from my body metabolizing my fat stores for food/energy. But the burning in my stomach is causing my limbs to become cold much more quickly. And when I turn the heat on, it amplifies the heat coming from my stomach making me way too warm. I’m not going to say the experience is miserable, but it’s definitely not my favourite. Either way, I managed to go to work this morning and somehow make it through the day.

How am I feeling about food right now? Oh my goodness… would I love to have anything; bread, vegan pizza (though not craving cheese of any kind), vegan croissants, baguettes, etc. Oddly enough, it’s mostly bread products but I’m almost thinking more than the taste, it is the texture of sinking my teeth into something soft and cushy. Texture often plays a big part in our food desires, and the thought of something so nice and cushy that almost melts in your mouth sounds absolutely amazing. But in reality, almost anything vegan would do. I’m starting to think about food more often, though it’s still fairly easy to bypass food, especially when the students are eating and microwaving their food, and the stash that is ever beside me on the floor. My NewsFeed on Facebook is also still full of people making different delicious vegan foods that look so appetizing, and yet somehow I’m still going strong. That being said, I am so looking forward to having lemon in my water tomorrow and especially to starting my juice feast on Thursday. I am currently just counting down the days to having some type of calories in my body. The time is actually going by fairly quickly though I look forward to feeling stronger again.

I did not go to the gym tonight. I didn’t make this decision based on energy stores, but simply because I don’t want to kill myself when I’m only in the middle of the work week. Work has been particularly stressful and unfortunately, the lack of calories in my body has caused my brain not to function at 100% capacity causing things to wear me out more than normal. Instead of being on my feet all day, I take more opportunities to sit down and I choose my walking trips a little more carefully. I also noticed that while I’m walking, I also feel almost like my legs are a little more jelly-like than normal. This is something I more than look forward to going away.

I drank approximately 3L today which is an improvement from yesterday’s 1.25-1.5L.

Review of Symptoms:
Face has no changes. Not really any new acne, but still a lot of room for improvement. Stomach pain is more prevalent. Body feels weak though somehow continues to do everything I need it to do. Mentality is not as strong as it could be, though it does seem to be stronger when I’m not physically active and draining my body that way. Stomach almost felt a little bloated today which is an interesting thing to consider. Thoughts are going towards food more often and counting down the days to lemon water tomorrow and my juice feast starting Thursday. Still experiencing temperature extremes though for the most part, I have been very warm in my midsection (stomach on fire) and very cold in my limbs. Very minimal shaking in the morning today though very weak. I also experienced some – at least what feels like – heartburn or acid reflux in the later part of the evening. I am not sure why this is occurring, but this is also not a pleasant experience.

Weight at the end of the day = 182.6 lbs (down 2.8 lbs in 24 hours, down 6.2 lbs in 72 hours).

Total Calories = 0

Encouragement When You Don’t Know Which Way To Go

A song came on while on my drive back from a colleague’s birthday supper this evening; a song that I had heard many times but struck me in a different way tonight.

The lyrics are as follows:

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (Calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe

Because Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you
You are…

What struck me about this song this time is the fact that it’s something very real that happens to so many people everyday. How many times are you stuck in a place where you feel pulled in so many directions and you really don’t know which way to go? I know I feel like that sometimes. There are times I literally have no idea which way to go, and so I end up falling down on my knees, praying for any type of sign, any type of pointblank direction from God. And that’s exactly what this song is talking about.

When you don’t know where to go, when the world is pulling you in every direction, there is on voice you can rely on, and that’s the voice of Truth (God). When the world is telling you you’re wrong, but you’re standing strong in your faith, remember that God is the one who will raise you up to His loving, safe arms in the end. God will remind you that you will win, even if those around you are continuously telling you that you’ll lose. Being bullied? Being verbally abused? Told you are not good enough? Remember that God is sitting there, waiting for you to find HIS voice so He can remind you that you are more than enough and He loves you more than anything. Refuse the distractions, and look for the one who matters.

Look up this song anytime you need some motivation: Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns