Water Fasting – Healing Journey Day 3

Journal:
Well, after being so tired yesterday, I expected to be as tired today. I didn’t go to sleep until after midnight, so I set four alarms to  make sure I got up this morning. Sadly to say, for whatever reason, I woke up wide awake at 4:00 a.m. Of all the things that could happen, I wake up at 4:00. I didn’t wake up starving nor dying of thirst, but completely was wide awake. It makes no sense to me.

So what did I do at 4:00 in the morning? I decided it was time to consume some water. Sadly, it didn’t come with the fireworks I was expecting. It was good, but I honestly think of could have done dry fasting for another day. However, since I work with students, I don’t want to take the risk of being completely active all day long and not have my body running on anything. So breaking into my water fast is the process I’ve begun.

So what did it actually feel like to drink water again? It puts me in a hesitant state. I’m not sure my body is fully accepting it to be honest. I feel like there is a possibility of running to the washroom at some point and also a possibility of vomiting the water back up. It’s unsettling for sure. My energy is not where I want it to be; it’s not as good as last night, but not as bad as yesterday morning so I began praying early to survive the day.

Thankfully, I did survive the day with only one person commenting on how tired I looked. I also was yawning a lot when she said it, so that was a clue.

I couldn’t drink very much in the morning. In fact, though I had imagined I would be guzzling water throughout the day, I really don’t think my body was ready for too much water. It almost “hurt” my stomach without actually being painful. But around midday, water began to go down easier (6 hours past the initial sip). The feeling in my stomach is gone for the most part though food does sound good. It was a test to go through two snack times and a lunch period sitting with my students while all of them are eating. The smells are what got to me the most. But somehow, I still found it fairly easy to bypass the food they were eating and the emergency stash I have by my desk.

Following school, I had a meeting with a parent. It was a positive meeting and the mother was so wonderful, she even brought me a bag of tomatoes from her garden. Oh, how I would LOVE to eat those tomatoes. But since it will be quite awhile until I will be eating tomatoes, I am looking at options of either buying a dehydrator to dehydrate them or perhaps finding a method of canning. I am sticking with this journey 100% and not willing to skip stages. I’m holding out well.

Once the meeting was over, I came home and took a nap. It felt so good to take a nap though I freaked out when I woke up thinking it was 7:30 in the morning and I was going to be late for work. It took a few minutes to sink in that it was only 7:30 at night and that everything was going to be ok.

It took awhile for me to get up because I was very cold. I am finding that my body is reacting more extremely to temperatures. For example, when my heater is on, even on the lowest setting, I am pretty warm, almost too warm for blankets. But when the heater is off and the basement gets the cool feeling again, I start freezing so much I cannot even fathom getting out from the blankets. I’m having a hard time finding a happy medium at the moment and I’m hoping this will sort itself out.

I did go to the gym today though I was heavily debating whether I should or not, especially after feeling so tired all day. However, I’ve been working out for years, so I figured that I cannot completely stop now. Aside from cardiovascular benefits, I considered the fact that exercise might actually help me feel warm again after feeling cold for awhile. It worked, and I actually was stronger than I though I would by cycling on a stationary bike. My pace was much slower than normal, but I wasn’t about to make this an all-out sweating session, but rather just a health activity.

So now it is the end of the day and I’m in bed, about to go to sleep. I am so looking forward to only two more days of water fasting and finally getting to drink fruit juice on Thursday. I’m hoping that the lemon slices I’ll be adding to my water on Wednesday will give my body a little energy kick with the most minimal of calories but still something compared to nothing.

Review of symptoms:
This morning, my face actually had a sign of improvement: there were no new pimples! Almost every morning I’ve had at least one new one if not several. Perhaps my body has had enough time cycling everything on the inside without having outside substances to deal with that it is able to concentrate on healing my acne. This is good news for me! My energy is lacking; not horribly like yesterday morning, but not as awesome as last night. I was also shaky again this morning and though it is certainly not as bad as yesterday, it is definitely noticeable. Though I wasn’t able to drink much in the morning, it picked up throughout the day. In total, I think I drank about 1.25-1.5L of water today. Much less than expected, but not bad for my body to adjust to. My body is reacting to temperatures in extreme ways and I’m really hoping this will sort itself out. Something I didn’t expect but totally noticed today was that my teeth are whiter! I haven’t done anything special. In fact, I’ve just been using my clay toothpaste. But the yellow tinge they had before starting my fasting is almost completely gone and they are looking pretty white. This is an exciting side effect!

Weight at the end of the day: 185.4 (down .2 lbs from yesterday, a total of 3.6 pounds lost in 48 hours)

Total Calories = 0

I Wonder If I Argue Too Much…

Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.

Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).

When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.

When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.

But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).

The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.

To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.

The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.

I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.

I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.

I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.

It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?

Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.