I Wonder If I Argue Too Much…

Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.

Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).

When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.

When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.

But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).

The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.

To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.

The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.

I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.

I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.

I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.

It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?

Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Week 12 Day 3

I drove myself to work today. What a good feeling! I still got up at the regular time, but had so much more time to get things done and still get to work on time. I actually enjoy not feeling rushed in the morning!

The school day went well. I kept in all of my students during morning recess to write lines about how important it is to be quiet in class. I also had some boys scrub a few cupboard doors with toothbrushes (I have a cleaning stash under my sink) from throwing snow outside (an absolute no-no).

Now, the crazy part about this, is I was filling out a graduate survey for my university, and one of the questions it asked was: How would your students describe you? I’m the type of teacher that talks straight to my students. We work together and we figure things out together. Then, if necessary, I will step in to solve problems that they are not solving on their own. And because I’m very straight-up with them, I told them what I was doing and asked them to be completely honest about their answers. Keep in mind the trouble they were just in. They completely poured out these amazing descriptions, one being, “a good disciplinarian”. I wasn’t sure how to take that at first until they told me that my punishments were good and fair. Wow. I love my class!

After school, I had to leave right away because I was getting my next size of trays for Invisalign at the dentist. The roads were terribly icy, but I managed to make it there safely. I then proceeded to sit for an hour because of how behind they were. However, I couldn’t leave and come back the next day because my dentist only works on Tuesdays. So I waited, and then got my new bottom plate, as well as a maintenance top plate. It hasn’t started hurting yet, but I fear it’s coming.

I went home, got ready, and my husband and I went to the gym. I had a very good back and biceps workout. I was stronger, felt solid, and took a little more of a leisurely approach by slightly longer breaks since my workout was a little shorter today (7 exercises). I even was able to complete 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the stationary bike! It was just a good time at the gym.

I noticed something at the gym tonight though. Standing in front of the mirrors, I realized that my back shape is nice (from a side view). But it’s almost like my stomach is somehow getting flatter and yet sticking out more. I guess I can best describe it like a thick, smooth curve. I haven’t quite settled on how I feel about this. But I chose to leave it as a realization that I am stronger, I feel better, and regardless of the fat percentage, my muscles are showing more than they ever have before, and that’s a feat in itself. So I’m going to keep waiting and see how my body continues to take shape.

Week 11 Day 7

What a cold, cold day: -41 C with a low of -43. My husband and I both decided we weren’t going anywhere today, and were instead going to stay home and try to stay warm. The only times we went outside all day were to walk the dogs. And the poor things could barely stand the temperature to even use the washroom. It’s just too cold.

The doors in my house are actually somehow letting some snow in. I knew they didn’t fit the doorways quite right, but hey. The place is old. I understand. Are there things the landlady could do? Probably. But I think we’re going to go get some plastic and maybe those things that block under the door. It’s not freezing in the house, but stand by the doors or windows and you’ll get cold. Pleasures of being in a old and cold place.

A lot of household chores and napping got done. I was actually happy because I was way behind on laundry. So it was nice to have a chance to get caught up again!

We both decided that we had to go to the gym this evening, regardless how cold it was. So we eventually got ready and went on our way. I had a killer back workout, felt solid the whole time, pushing all my limits, and killing my abs and biceps. I even had time for a 12 minutes HIIT cardio session! I can’t remember the last time I was excited about cardio. Absolutely loved it!

We had a quiet night at home, watching a movie together and continuing to upkeep on laundry. It was a more quiet day, but a lovely one.