I Threw in the Towel and Regretted It – Healing Journey Day 46

Journal:
This morning was rough. It actually started out good: I woke up early, finished one of the 3 papers that were due today, showered early, got ready on time, and even had enough spare time to make a smoothie for breakfast to take with me! I was so happy.

Then it began. My dog started scratching at the door which is not allowed. So I reprimanded him and went back downstairs to finish making my smoothie. I thought I was all done when no sooner had I finished dumping it from my Magic Bullet blender into my cup had I realized that half of the rubber seal was missing. I hoped that it had just broken from being old and was still intact in my smoothie somewhere, but to no avail. It was gone: disintegrated throughout my smoothie. Ugh. These were my only 3 truly ripe bananas and I don’t even have any spare frozen ones. There went the best smoothie of the day. I had to dump it out. This upset me the most. But then, I went to let my dog in only to find that somehow he unattached his lead again (it’s a chain link so I’m not even sure how he does this) which meant he had run through the muddy, dug-up garden. So I tried to contain him on the mat inside the door. However, the second I turned to grab the towel to wipe him down, he bolted and ran muddy footprints all through the kitchen, down the beige carpet on the stairs, through the hallway, and into my carpeted room. Ugh. What a morning.

You can see the half of the silicone ring that was left… There was no finding it with my knife. It was completely obliterated throughout the whole smoothie.

So after worship at work, I took a few minutes to go to the kitchen and quickly threw another smoothie together. It was simple, spinach and bananas. But I could easily taste the difference of bananas that are not as ripe as the last ones I sampled. And to top it all off, I threw out the equivalent of a banana and a half because they so badly bruised that they were literal mush. But, I had a green smoothie and that’s what day it is today. Three days of green smoothies will hopefully only improve from here.

I didn’t get another chance to make another smoothie until late in the afternoon. I was hungry and couldn’t wait to make a smoothie. I quickly went through my container of spinach, only to find out that an odd amount of moisture had somehow gotten in the container and started to make some of the spinach go bad. So I picked out all the good spinach that I could. Then I peeled the rest of my bananas, only having to throw one out. I also had a bag of peaches that I had been looking forward to. Come to find out, I had to throw out two of the peaches and the others were going bad quickly. However, I saved what I could, threw it in the blender, and blended it up. Words cannot express how terrible this smoothie tasted. Whether it was because of the deteriorating peaches, spinach I saved from the wilting ones, or the definitely unripe bananas, I can only guess they all were a factor. I honestly tried to choke it down. I mean, I discovered I hated rosemary a few days ago and still managed to choke it down. But this… this was awful. Words cannot describe. And as hard as I tried, I couldn’t do it. So there went some more money down the drain. Needless to say, I was frustrated.

So, out of frustration, I left school starving, came home, grabbed an English cucumber and the Daiya ranch dressing that I had left, and ate it down quickly. I then went to get a vegan burrito. Sure, it tasted ok. But to be honest, I would have preferred just a side of rice and beans. My taste has definitely gone more simplistic. But the way I felt while eating this burrito was not worth it. My stomach immediately felt bloated and full. I could not finish the burrito. I may eat that volume of raw foods, but definitely not of cooked foods. My body is not used to it. Ugh. This was a big mistake. If I’m going to rebel in frustration, it NEEDS to be with unplanned raw foods. Though I must confess, a burrito with beans, rice, pico de gallo and salsa is not a huge splurge. In my old days, it would have been all the junk food I could have gotten my hands on. But even so, this is not what I like my body to feel like; I’m missing the raw foods.

I came back home and began working on my sub plans for tomorrow. I’m going to a convention tomorrow and there was a lot of work that needed to be done ahead of time. I was able to get my work done, but my mind was continuing to think about how much better I felt eating raw foods. I made up my mind to be back on track tomorrow, and so that meant a very late drive to two grocery stores to try and find the most ripe bananas I could. Here’s to attempting my 3 days of green smoothies again tomorrow!

Since I didn’t go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, I ended up grabbing what food I had around me. This included an apple cinnamon fig bar and another English cucumber with Daiya ranch and green Sriracha. What a messed up day of eating.

Tomorrow we are back on track with some mostly ripened bananas, kale and spinach. Let’s do it!

Review of Symptoms:
-Acne is better along my neck line, but worse on my cheeks.
-Digestion is so-so.
-Hair is actually doing alright. Washed with only water today.
-Energy is good.

Weight at the end of the day = 171.2 lbs (up 3.2 lbs from yesterday)

Total Calories = 2350 (68% carbs, 25% fat, 7% protein… totally blew my macros today…)

Water Fasting – Healing Journey Day 3

Journal:
Well, after being so tired yesterday, I expected to be as tired today. I didn’t go to sleep until after midnight, so I set four alarms to  make sure I got up this morning. Sadly to say, for whatever reason, I woke up wide awake at 4:00 a.m. Of all the things that could happen, I wake up at 4:00. I didn’t wake up starving nor dying of thirst, but completely was wide awake. It makes no sense to me.

So what did I do at 4:00 in the morning? I decided it was time to consume some water. Sadly, it didn’t come with the fireworks I was expecting. It was good, but I honestly think of could have done dry fasting for another day. However, since I work with students, I don’t want to take the risk of being completely active all day long and not have my body running on anything. So breaking into my water fast is the process I’ve begun.

So what did it actually feel like to drink water again? It puts me in a hesitant state. I’m not sure my body is fully accepting it to be honest. I feel like there is a possibility of running to the washroom at some point and also a possibility of vomiting the water back up. It’s unsettling for sure. My energy is not where I want it to be; it’s not as good as last night, but not as bad as yesterday morning so I began praying early to survive the day.

Thankfully, I did survive the day with only one person commenting on how tired I looked. I also was yawning a lot when she said it, so that was a clue.

I couldn’t drink very much in the morning. In fact, though I had imagined I would be guzzling water throughout the day, I really don’t think my body was ready for too much water. It almost “hurt” my stomach without actually being painful. But around midday, water began to go down easier (6 hours past the initial sip). The feeling in my stomach is gone for the most part though food does sound good. It was a test to go through two snack times and a lunch period sitting with my students while all of them are eating. The smells are what got to me the most. But somehow, I still found it fairly easy to bypass the food they were eating and the emergency stash I have by my desk.

Following school, I had a meeting with a parent. It was a positive meeting and the mother was so wonderful, she even brought me a bag of tomatoes from her garden. Oh, how I would LOVE to eat those tomatoes. But since it will be quite awhile until I will be eating tomatoes, I am looking at options of either buying a dehydrator to dehydrate them or perhaps finding a method of canning. I am sticking with this journey 100% and not willing to skip stages. I’m holding out well.

Once the meeting was over, I came home and took a nap. It felt so good to take a nap though I freaked out when I woke up thinking it was 7:30 in the morning and I was going to be late for work. It took a few minutes to sink in that it was only 7:30 at night and that everything was going to be ok.

It took awhile for me to get up because I was very cold. I am finding that my body is reacting more extremely to temperatures. For example, when my heater is on, even on the lowest setting, I am pretty warm, almost too warm for blankets. But when the heater is off and the basement gets the cool feeling again, I start freezing so much I cannot even fathom getting out from the blankets. I’m having a hard time finding a happy medium at the moment and I’m hoping this will sort itself out.

I did go to the gym today though I was heavily debating whether I should or not, especially after feeling so tired all day. However, I’ve been working out for years, so I figured that I cannot completely stop now. Aside from cardiovascular benefits, I considered the fact that exercise might actually help me feel warm again after feeling cold for awhile. It worked, and I actually was stronger than I though I would by cycling on a stationary bike. My pace was much slower than normal, but I wasn’t about to make this an all-out sweating session, but rather just a health activity.

So now it is the end of the day and I’m in bed, about to go to sleep. I am so looking forward to only two more days of water fasting and finally getting to drink fruit juice on Thursday. I’m hoping that the lemon slices I’ll be adding to my water on Wednesday will give my body a little energy kick with the most minimal of calories but still something compared to nothing.

Review of symptoms:
This morning, my face actually had a sign of improvement: there were no new pimples! Almost every morning I’ve had at least one new one if not several. Perhaps my body has had enough time cycling everything on the inside without having outside substances to deal with that it is able to concentrate on healing my acne. This is good news for me! My energy is lacking; not horribly like yesterday morning, but not as awesome as last night. I was also shaky again this morning and though it is certainly not as bad as yesterday, it is definitely noticeable. Though I wasn’t able to drink much in the morning, it picked up throughout the day. In total, I think I drank about 1.25-1.5L of water today. Much less than expected, but not bad for my body to adjust to. My body is reacting to temperatures in extreme ways and I’m really hoping this will sort itself out. Something I didn’t expect but totally noticed today was that my teeth are whiter! I haven’t done anything special. In fact, I’ve just been using my clay toothpaste. But the yellow tinge they had before starting my fasting is almost completely gone and they are looking pretty white. This is an exciting side effect!

Weight at the end of the day: 185.4 (down .2 lbs from yesterday, a total of 3.6 pounds lost in 48 hours)

Total Calories = 0

Adventist Health Wake-Up Call

Something to think about in the new year:

I took a few minutes this morning to peruse the December 2015 Adventist World and the January 2016 Outlook (Adventist Publication from Mid-America). Between the two publications, there were 3 articles expressing the same topic, the topic of health.

Adventists are KNOWN for their health message. Ellen White expresses the importance of taking care of our bodies to truly do what we are meant to do for Christ. She expresses the best benefits being from a plant-based diet, but how many of us actually follow that advice?

Since I’ve embarked on my own vegan journey, I’ve watched so many documentaries and so many times Loma Linda is listed – the Adventists are listed – for living longer than any other North American groups because of our vegetarian/vegan diets. If the rest of the world is noticing, then why aren’t we following our own message?

We are so quick to apologize for the many sins we accept: lying, envy, stealing, even having bad thoughts towards another. These sins are obvious. But is it not also a sin to avoid taking care of our own health?

Think back to the Garden of Eden, to God’s OPTIMAL design for us. We all know animals weren’t killed then. Everyone lived in harmony, both human and animals alike. We didn’t eat all of this junk food that we have now. We didn’t eat animal flesh. We didn’t eat eggs or drink milk. We had the beautiful fruit from the earth. That was the diet God intended.

Now, the world has continued to become degraded. Our soil quality is not what it used to be. You do need to eat vegetables, fruit, grains and legumes. But the key is, you can still get all the nutrients, even often better received by your body, with an animal-less diet. God hasn’t left us hanging. His diet is still here.

In fact, cultures and groups who eat minimal to no animal products suffer less disease and illness. Why do we put our bodies through this?

As a child, I thought all of these things were ok. But the more research I do, the more I realize how blind we are. The even scarier part is that we refuse to be truthful with ourselves. We don’t consider the fact that the devil can easily use food to get us. Think of all the junk food society craves. Have you ever wondered why the ingredients list is always 10+ items long? Most of them you don’t even know what they are. The food industry wants to get you “hooked” and they know what ingredients to use to do it. We are a society with a “health message” where the majority ignore the truth.

We all know the phrase we long to hear when Jesus returns, “Well done good and faithful servant”. But how many of us can He say that to when it comes to His very temples? These bodies are not ours and we must treat them as such. These bodies are God’s. We invite the Holy Spirit to live within us, and yet we treat His house like garbage.

I’m an avid exerciser, and no it’s not always fun. There are days I drag myself to the gym. But without exercise, my heart would not function like it should, my body would not carry me around like it should, and my health would not be in continuous progress like it is.

I also was a cheese addict. I went vegetarian cold-turkey when I was influenced by my first vegetarians. I remained that way for years, often considering going vegan, but never actually having the willpower to say no to cheese. If I could double cheese on anything and everything, you can bet that I did.

When I decided to go vegan, I went through cheese withdrawal for about a week. Who could have ever thought you could go through cheese withdrawal? But it happens because of the design of cheese. It is meant to be addictive. At times during that week, I had to make sure I had fruit in my hand to shove in my mouth so that I wouldn’t be tempted to eat the cheese. And now? I would never look back.

So where does this leave our society? In my opinion, uneducated. It doesn’t take an Adventist to see the benefits of plant-based diets. The science is spreading through the world like wildfire. Evidence is springing up with the results in peoples’ lives. Several doctors are realizing their lack of nutritional education and are starting to get involved. It’s time for us to learn it for ourselves, to understand the impact we are having on ourselves and others. Can you imagine rarely getting sick? Rarely having headaches? Rarely having to go to a doctor? It’s possible, you just need to want to embark on the journey that is not going to be fun at first.

We also need to remember that everything we do in life – EVERYTHING – is seen by our LORD. He knows our motives, He knows our hearts. Just as it’s not always easy to walk up to someone to share the message of Christ with them (especially if you’re expecting backlash), it’s not easy to want to change your habits. But as we see throughout the Bible and throughout the world still today, God’s call is not an easy one. God doesn’t even bring you to paths you can handle. Instead, He wants your heart to be earnest, and then to walk with Him on the path He wants you to take, even carrying you part of the way when necessary.

This is not meant to be a controversial topic. It is meant to be a reminder of truth, of a journey that I have been on myself lately. I’m not perfect either. Even though I was able to hear the call to better health, to realizing and beating my addiction to cheese, I need to get better at a whole food diet and ditch the convenient, pre-made vegan food that I have made a habit of eating.

Life is a journey and it’s never easy. If it was so easy to be healthy, everybody would be healthy. It takes determination, acceptance of what needs to be changed, and the willpower to do it. And even so, all of our efforts without Christ on our journey with us are of little use. Christ is the extra motivation that we need. Picture this: You know Jesus is coming to your house today. What would you do? I know I would be cleaning like mad, making sure it looked the best it could, and preparing the best food I absolutely could. Our bodies are no different. We invite the Holy Spirit in, but how many of us have cleaned internally? Are you feeding your body the best foods so it runs the healthiest and is the cleanest it can be? That is a question for serious thought.

I’m going to leave you with some quotes from Ellen White and the author of the article, “Adventists Urged to Examine Their Meals,” Andrew McChesney:

“We have had this information for more than 120 years, ” said Dr. Peter N. Landless, director of the Adventist world church’s Health Ministries Department. “Sadly, many have chosen not to follow the advice that has been given to God’s inspired servant, but it is always reassuring when one sees that that which is given by inspiration proven by peer-reviewed, evidence-based science.”

He added: “Our prayer is that our church will take note, not because this is an issue related to salvation, but because it affects the quality of life and our service to a broken world, the mission to which we have been called.”

“Flesh was never the best food; but its use is now doubly objectionable, since disease in animals is so rapidly increasing,” White wrote in the book Child Guidance. [You would be surprised how much diseased flesh is in your animal products today, since she said this so many years ago! Our world is corrupt and hides many things from us.]

White, who Adventists believe had the gift of prophecy, wrote in the same book that meat would become more contaminated as the earth neared its last days and that Adventists would stop eating it. “Flesh will cease to form a part of their diet,” she said. “We should ever keep this end in view and endeavour to work steadily toward it. I cannot think that in the practice of flesh eating we are in harmony with the light which God has been pleased to give us.”

I wish you all a happy, healthy 2016 as we prepare for the ever-closer coming of our LORD and Saviour. May we leave ourselves behind and put God first, no matter what journey He asks us to embark on. Because unlike many things in life, we know the end. We know that all the evil of the world will fade away, and Christ will reign in the best lives we can’t even possibly imagine. All of our unanswered questions will be answered, and we will no longer have to watch suffering take place. Our LORD will be with us, face-to-face, with the loving embrace that will bring happy tears knowing that everything we’ve suffered, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve experienced will have all been worth it. I cannot wait to thank Him for all that He has brought me through, and for all that He has done for me. What a glorious day that will be!

I Wonder If I Argue Too Much…

Sometimes I take a minute to sit back and reflect over what I do, whether it’s the direction my life is going in, or the way I handled a situation.

Recently, I’ve started thinking about my part in online discussions or arguments. In the past, I was the child who never spoke out. It was so bad, I would even have my younger sister go to the counter of a restaurant to get something they forgot to give me (even something as small as ketchup!).

When I first became (seriously) Christian, it was the same way. I was too scared that I didn’t know enough to speak out, or that I would be ridiculed because of information I didn’t have the answer to.

When I became vegan, it was the same thing. I didn’t feel I knew enough to speak out because I wasn’t the most “educated” or didn’t know “all the right answers”.

But as I continued to watch everyone else, I realized that you will never know everything. And besides, the best argument you have is your personal testimony, no matter whether it’s veganism, Christianity, or anything else. Nobody can argue what you’ve experienced. They can only argue facts and somehow even opinions (though I think everyone should be allowed an opinion).

The very first argument I ever felt brave enough to enter was between an atheist and a Christian. I couldn’t stand the picture of Christianity that the Christians were displaying that I felt compelled to go in and clear up the awful view. No, I was not trying to convert the atheist, I simply was explaining things she clearly had questions about and had been given a bad taste and picture of previously. By the end of the hour+ long conversation, she actually thanked me, and though she said she would not be considering becoming Christian at the time, she thanked me for being so understanding and being patient with my answers while explaining things in a different light than she had previously been shown.

To me, that should be the point of an argument or discussion. It shouldn’t be to fight or to prove one side better than the other. Of course I believe Christianity is the way, but I’m not going to force it down other peoples’ throats. God gave me my freedom of choice, so who am I to take it away from others? I can only present information and leave it up to them.

The next argument I ever went in on was not the same way. In fact, I got told to go take a nap along with being called many names. My whole point in that argument was that you can love people without supporting their actions. For example, you can love your child without supporting their drug use. You can support them for the good things, show them outwardly love, and even include them in normal things. But when an action they are doing goes against your beliefs or causes harm to either them or others, you don’t have to support that action. In no way does that mean you stop loving that person. But the group, or at least some people in that group, couldn’t accept that. I don’t know if I didn’t explain myself well enough, but I was in that conversation for several hours. It came to the point that I understood Christians were not going to be supported in that vegan group, and I respectfully excused myself from the group.

I don’t intervene in everything I see on the internet that I disagree with, but when it comes to things that harm others, when it comes to peoples’ health, or when it comes to slandering Christians, I try to go in and paint a different picture. Some people are accepting, some people will never be kind no matter what you say. I’ve been called a heap of names and been criticized against sometimes it seems like anything I say. Even when I’m remaining as polite as I can and stating again and again that nobody has to believe the same as I do, and that I will respect what they believe just as I would expect them to respect what I believe. It is possible to live in harmony without believing the same things (just look at the conversation with the atheist and I). But for some reason, I’m finding more and more people who cannot leave it that way.

I had a fellow Christian follow one of these conversations and eventually tell me that I should just end my conversation because the others (the main of which was apparently Hindu) was just going to keep coming up with every slandering thing and continue saying the worst possible portraits of Christianity they could. I just found it so sad. Sad that first of all, someone had views like that of what can be the most amazing faith. I know a lot of Christians call themselves Christian while living a very different life. Sad that also, someone who was a self-proclaimed “vegan” that is supposed to be filled with so much love could be so hateful towards Christians who honestly had done nothing wrong in this conversation but speak of the original diet in the Garden of Eden (vegan diet!). But as the other Christian woman suggested, I quit responding, despite the fact I continued to get blamed for things and called names in further comments.

I think about that conversation, and I continue to think of how I could have done it differently, what I might have done wrong. But the thing is, in every comment, I approached it in a very much “my experience was…” manner. I didn’t say that her beliefs were wrong, and I never discriminated against her, even telling her that I would continue to respect her and her choices. I don’t really want to continue the conversation, and I won’t, even though it’s hard to know that my name has been continued on in the conversation very negatively. I just don’t get it.

It makes me think… is there a point to me joining in these conversations? Is there a point when I’m just going to be downgraded and slandered by so many people? But then I also think of the vegan community who promotes standing up for those who are voiceless. I do think if you’re passionate about something, you shouldn’t just remain quiet about it, whether through actions or words. So do I just hold back my passion now that I finally feel brave to stand up for people? I mean, Christians in some of these groups literally get POUNDED into the ground by others, called every name in the book, their faith literally ridiculed up and down. I guess I feel like just by saying something (though again, not in a forceful way, often in a soft, from experience type of way) that they at least know someone is in their corner with them. I’m not afraid of being Christian. I’m not afraid of being vegan. I’m not ashamed of the things I believe. So if I get called names, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t get as “heated” about these things as clearly others do. Temper control is not an issue for me in these conversations and part of me wonders if that’s what makes some people so mad. I don’t swear, I don’t believe in calling people names, I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t know… is it worth it or is it not? I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I’m content… maybe even more than content. For non-Christians, I know they won’t understand this, but for Christians who have experienced God saving their lives, they will know what I’m talking about. I can honestly say I’m filled with the joy of the LORD which makes everything surmountable. Months when we have less income, I don’t freak out anymore, because when I had no idea how we were going to survive before, God provided the money. I’ve totalled 2 cars, one that I in no way should have walked away from, but God protected me. I used to be so scared to face my mistakes and of punishments I may receive, but through God I know I have the strength to face whatever comes my way. I use to be so OCD about making sure everything was a certain way, but now I’m ok if things change. Even at work, when a wrench gets thrown in my plans, I don’t care. I’ve learned that nothing can be set in stone, but whatever may happen, God always provides. There is honestly little that upsets me. And why wouldn’t I want others to know that same feeling? Can you imagine a world where there was no stress, no worry, no panic? Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be? Can you imagine the amount of stress-induced illnesses that could be prevented? How can people not want a life like that?

Again, I’m not trying to force my lifestyle and faith down peoples’ throats. I always approach it in a way that I can share my experience and they can make their own choices past that. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t know how any conversation can take place. So I don’t know… what do you guys think? Is it worth the interjection in hopes that two fighting groups can maybe be a little more understanding and live in harmony? Or is it just a waste of energy? Maybe I try to play the “peacemaker” a little too much… I don’t know. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

I Prayed for 10 Years, and God Answered

Sometimes in life, there are things we don’t know how to approach. There are people we want to say things to to, but for some reason can’t find the right words. Sometimes, they can be missed opportunities that are missed out of fear. Sometimes, they are missed because we keep waiting for something or someone else to bring up the topic so that we have an opportunity to put in our heartfelt words that we need to say. Some people unfortunately underestimate the amount of time that is available for some things to be said.

For years I have been trying to get enough courage or find the right moment to talk to my father about God; about my views on God and trying to find out exactly where he’s at. My father believes in God, absolutely. But after learning about how awesome it is to be a child of God, that you can openly talk to God as a friend and call him Father, Papa, or even Daddy if you’d like, it left me in a state of uneasiness seeing my dad only ever refer to Him as things like “The Man Upstairs”. I didn’t get a sense of owning God, of realizing that God loved Him. But how do I bring up such a sensitive topic with my own father? I know, I know. Some of you would say that I should love my father enough to bring it up regardless, but just pause for a moment. This is my father. I care about him more than the average person I would meet and talk about God with. I don’t want to mess it up. I don’t want him to ask questions I don’t know the answer to. If I want to talk about it, I want to do it right, and there were not enough rehearsals to ever make me feel prepared.

But God changed that this summer.

Now, I think part of the reason is I had to tell my family I had turned vegan. They were used to me being vegetarian before, so in reality, vegan wasn’t much more of a step. They took the news a lot better this time than they did originally when I turned vegetarian, so I’m assuming I had them “warmed-up” for the big change.

Because I had to tell my family I was vegan, Dad asked me why I made the switch this time. I loved this question! I had the opportunity to tell my dad about the health benefits of being vegan and how much better it is. I didn’t go into incredible details of the effects on animals because my dad wasn’t there yet. But what did surprise me was one of the responses he did give me, which was simply this: “I could probably live without meat. But I guess my thing is I don’t want to. I love my steak.”

Now I know, there are definitely some people in the vegan community who would start criticizing my dad right away. I have heard and seen all the criticisms that could be used against his statement. But just hold on a second, after all, I know my dad better than you.

His statement was honest. He didn’t lie about it, he didn’t make excuses, he told the truth. He even admitted (for the first time ever) that he could probably live without meat! How big of a reality is that! This, coming from a man who literally grew up on the vegetables his mother grew in the garden, and the meat his father hunted in the woods. Even to this day, the family gets together to share moose meat if someone wins their moose license. It’s a way for them to save money and stock up the food supplies for the winter. Remember, New Brunswick’s economy is not huge by any means. And, if you think of it that way, he didn’t even go off listing a whole bunch of meats he couldn’t live without, he said one – steak. Now, I don’t support the killing of animals, I really don’t. But if he could even stop eating all other meats and only have steak once in awhile, that still saves lives! There is room for progress! So anyways, you can feel my excitement and hopefully understand it over that reply.

So I don’t know if it was because he was already asking me why I eat the way I eat or what, but he then asked me a question I have been waiting YEARS to answer, and that was about my faith. Now he didn’t ask an open-ended question such as what I believe, but he kind of asked in a weird way how my beliefs were compared to Catholicism. Now I can’t claim that he was questioning Catholicism, but I can say that he NEVER would have asked me this before. In fact, when I was baptized Seventh-day Adventist, my grandparents (his parents) told me I was playing with religions and that you should stick to the one you were born into. They are very set in following traditions which is also what the Catholic church holds onto, so I always saw my father having the same mindset.

Regardless, he opened up.

I asked him to clarify a little, and he basically asked if my beliefs had Saints like the Catholic church does, or if we pray to Mary, or those kinds of things. Now, imagine my heart bursting wide open at this point. Again, he may not be questioning things about the Catholic church that I don’t believe in, but it almost sounds like he is! So I just say no, and explain that everything we believe comes straight out of the Bible, and that we did have a “prophet” within the last century who passed all the tests as provided by the Bible as to how to recognize a true prophet or not, and though we don’t worship her or praise her, we do use her inspired teachings/writings as a deeper way to understand some of the confusing things in the Bible. After all, the Bible was written by God-inspired people. So it does make sense that somebody could have been chosen to be inspired by God again, which is why they conducted the Bible’s prophet tests on her to make sure she was truly being led by God. And I continued to explain to him that of course the Bible comes first, that we always pray to God, and that we do also believe in the Trinity: God (Father), Jesus (Son), and the Holy Spirit. But I told him (to emphasize the point) that everything we (or at least I) try to believe has to be based in the Bible, as tricky as that can be sometimes.

I’m not sure how my dad took all of that. It definitely wasn’t everything I wanted to say, but it was enough for the situation we were in. I wish I could say my dad said we’d continue the conversation later, but he didn’t. Mind you, we were in a busy situation, but I’m holding onto the fact that I’m praying God used that moment to plant seeds in my dad’s heart and mind. I’m praying that my dad will realize the greater relationship he could have with God than I think he does. I want that so bad for my dad, but as many of us know, if you push things, the person will usually retract. So for now, I’m being thankful God gave me that opportunity after so many years and will continue to pray that maybe Dad will ask me about things again so I can dive a little more into the personal relationship side of things. I’m still in awe that God did this for me, even though it has taken 10 or so years. God does answer prayer, that’s a fact.

So to end on a little extra happy note, my step mother and I have never talked about religion. I don’t really know her religious background… it’s just not usually a subject that is brought up. But even when I was driving around with her doing errands, she brought it up. And our conversation focussed more on whether the school I taught at accepted students of all walks of life, or if they could only be of our religion. We talked about how students from all walks of life do come to my school, but we don’t bend our beliefs based on theirs because they are choosing to pay and come to our school for some reason. She was curious how I taught my Bible classes, and I told her that I do respect the feelings and beliefs of all of my students, but that I’m not going to tell them to be sheep. I don’t just want them to believe things because I tell them to, because at one point, we all question what we believe. I want them to know why they believe what they believe with evidence, straight out of the Bible in black and white. I also told her that if they end up asking me a question about something I don’t know, I don’t ignore it. I either search out the answer myself, or we study it together as a class.

For example, this year my students were not into studying the life of Christ, something they’ve more or less covered since attending church as infants, but they wanted to know about the end times, about the dragon of Revelation, about what to expect. So you know what I did? Tossed my plans, and we started studying Revelation together. It was the most rewarding decision I could have made. Yes, there is some scary stuff in that book, but my students came from that book knowing so much better what to expect, what is going on in our lives, and how God is fighting for them every step of the way, wanting to protect them from every evil that is here and will come. They knew that things might get difficult for them, but that they shouldn’t fear as long as they put God first because ultimately, God is victorious and he is holding them in His hands the whole time.

I mentioned this in another blog, but it still blows my mind that two of my students who do not attend a church and do not come from religious families wrote to me at the end of the study, one saying that he had listened more than he ever thought he would, taking notes more than he ever had before, and the other saying how he’s not baptized (with a sad face) but knowing that he can do anything through the power of Christ and knowing that he can have a personal relationship with God was such good news to him. I mean, how much more powerful does it get than that! The students had questions, and God provided me the opportunity to learn and study with them. What an awesome way to be used by God!

So anyways, I guess if I can sum this up I would say, don’t be impatient. God’s timing is so much better than ours could ever be. And don’t give up. I mean, 10 years was a long time to wait for my opportunity to talk with my dad, but it came from his curiosity and not me preaching at him – 10 years, and God answered my prayer. So know that God does answer prayers. It may not be in the time you want, it may not be quite the answer you want, but God is always listening, and He will answer you.

Day 2

This morning, I was very tired when I woke up… mainly because I went to bed after midnight… way too late! This is something I need to work on!

I was rushing around this morning, and only took my multivitamins and green chews.

After I got to work, I then drank a bottle of water and took my other supplements. I began to feel very nauseous, with nothing in my stomach and already being awake for a few hours. The mixture of supplements in my empty stomach were also not a great idea. So I opened up some organic medjool dates and ate away. I forget how many I ate (in the 8-15 range) and felt much better.

I’ve been pretty busy all day and have not been eating as much as I know I should, but at lunch, I ate two organic apricots that I got in my Organic Box yesterday, and 2/3s of a container of organic blackberries that I also got in my Organic Box yesterday. Fresh, juicy, and delicious!

For an afternoon snack, I had a Larabar in the flavour of coconut cream (it’s vegan, no dairy!). It’s basically a blend of nuts, dates and coconuts. Maybe I’m going a little “nutty” today! 🙂

At the end of school, we had a serious mix-up that caused me to not even allow my students to leave for an extra 10 minutes after the final bell. My students are singing for IMPACT 2015 (a huge outreach event, saving souls for Jesus) on the weekend, and our principal ordered shirts for them to wear. However, when she was handing them out, the different shirts got mixed up somehow. The grade 3/4 Choir is singing Saturday morning for church service. The boys are wearing white short-sleeve dress shirts. The grades 5-8 Choir is singing Saturday evening for the evening service and are supposed to be wearing white long-sleeve dress shirts. 11/13 of my boys had short-sleeve, and only 2 had the proper long-sleeve, so I had to go up to grades 3/4 to switch the shirts as they were given ours. Oh what a mix-up! Chaos at the end of school.

After that was finally sorted out, and the kids were sent on their way, I had to quickly clean up my desk, pack up my stuff, and be on my way to meet some people at the mall. I ended up being at the mall for a half hour. And as I was there, meeting the two different people and mailing a package, I was STARVING! I was considering buying something to eat at the mall, but decided I would rush home to my husband who was waiting for me. But then I made a mistake…

My husband is starting a new job on Monday, and I wanted to celebrate with him. Since we were both super hungry, I decided we should celebrate by going out. The problem was, we decided to go to a restaurant we used to have so many fun dates going to. What I didn’t realize was that the vegan options were minimal (their garden salad quality is not that great to me), and so I decided I would just suck it up and have a bit of dairy for the night. I knew I would be paying for this later…

For background knowledge, we were so hungry that we were at the point of feeling sick – a bad place to be when ordering food. We ate deep-fried jalapeño bottle caps, cheese quesadilla, and pancake puppies (deep-fried pancake balls). I had a veggie burger (not bad) with some seasoned fries. My husband had a beef burger with regular fries, chicken strips, and a piece of cheesecake. Now, we did not finish everything, but we did eat a lot. I could tell afterwards I was going to pay for what I ate. I never wanted to touch another piece of deep-fried food again!

We didn’t even go to the gym. Instead, we just spent some time together and went to sleep. We definitely “party” when we celebrate… lol. Neither of us drink or dance, so that’s almost as exciting as it gets for us. 🙂

Why Go Vegan?

Hello everyone!

This is a huge decision, as you can imagine. I want to explain myself as to why I’m choosing this venue. Let me explain my history.

My father was very young when his family went from Quebec to New Brunswick. Speaking little to no English, they struggled for awhile to because accustom to the new province. My grandfather was a woodsmen complete with a team of horses and later big machinery. My father quit school after grade 9 to work with my grandfather. And so the lifestyle of “meat and potatoes” began. Whatever they shot was their meat, and whatever my grandmother grew in the garden was their produce. A very simple, carnivorous life.

Naturally, I grew up eating A LOT of meat. Not because we didn’t go shopping, but I was still a hunter’s daughter, and meat was a regular, every-meal thing. When I was young, it would be no big deal for me to sit down to a pound of bacon myself. It’s a miracle I wasn’t obese!

When I met my first vegetarians in grade 8, I was amazed. This concept that I believed to only belong to celebrities belonged to real life people! I was the only vegetarian in my area, and the lack of knowledge was evident in a quick trip to a hospital with extensive stomach pains. The doctor then informed me of some vital nutrition I was missing, and instead of telling me to eat meat again, told me some vital vegetables I needed to be sure I ate daily.

I was vegetarian for around 10 years. I quit meat cold turkey. My grandfather of course was convinced I was going to die, and was continuously trying to feed me meat. My only family was shocked, but my grandmother on my mother’s side, who has always had an interest in health, was happy. She basically went vegetarian with me! (She never was much of a meat eater).

When I met my husband, he was vegetarian and had been his whole life. My university graduation had led my brother to convince my future husband to try the “real stuff”. From then on, he was hooked.

Eventually, it was the smell of beef jerky that won me back. That smell in my very house all over again won me in. In fact, it opened up the whole new realm of macro counting with my interest in fitness peaking too. With the high levels of protein “needed”, it seemed as if I couldn’t survive without meat. And so I ate meat again for roughly 4 years.

Now, I’ve done so much research. And to keep it short, there is so much evidence that a plant-based diet is the way to go. I would like to think of myself as “getting back to the basics”, naturally. The world of fitness and diet will continuously battle itself. All information can be conflicting. But nothing can deny the way you feel both mentally, physically, and spiritually. Mentally, I’m not hating my food, I’m not worried about going over my “macros”, and I’m not worried about having to stop myself from eating while still feeling like I’m starving. Physically, I feel better. I don’t have to worry about eliminating things to figure out what’s wrong with my body, I get to look forward to younger, more flawless skin. And spiritually, I can feel good about being accountable for selecting the best foods that I can. I can also feel good about my choice not to inflict pain on animals that I myself could not kill. If I couldn’t do it, why do I take part in the process at all?

Some things I’m going to be doing are:
-Trying to buy as much organic as I can
-Continuing my workouts
-Drinking 3L of water a day
-Learning more about, and sticking to food combining rules
-Cutting processed sugar 95%
-Eating mostly fruit until supper
-Eating raw 90% of the time
-Eating until I’m full!

I will keep you posted on my journey! I’m excited for this new phase 🙂

My New Experiment: Fruit

I think it’s time for a little background:

I grew up a hunter’s daughter. My father grew up a lumberjack’s son. He learned quickly in life that there was not a ton of money, and so my grandmother grew a vegetable garden, and whatever my grandfather was able to hunt was the meat they served (rabbits, deer, moose, partridge, etc…).

Thus, I grew up a heavy meat eater. In fact, stews or beans with biscuits, and the typical “meat and potatoes” were quite frequently a supper meal. Of course with the younger generations and slightly more money, pizzas and junk foods made their way in the diet as well. But it would not be uncommon for me as a child to sit down and eat a pound of bacon myself. That’s just the way it was.

I remember when I met my first vegetarians. They were like celebrities to me because the only people I ever knew of that would even think of not eating meat were celebrities. Nobody in the “real world” would ever think to live without eating meat. It must surely be a way to die!

However, seeing these people live, and healthily, gave me a spark that continued to grow. One morning, in my teenage years, I simply woke up, and told my mother never to make meat for me again.

Did I exactly know what I was getting into? Absolutely not. In fact, eating some vegetarian junk food without learning the proper way to eat healthily vegetarian landed me with intensive stomach pains and a visit to the hospital where the doctor informed me of some key staples I should be eating to be healthy. Oops. Learned that lesson the hard way.

And so it began. A somewhat healthier 10-11 years of being a vegetarian. Cold turkey. No going back.

It wasn’t until I met my husband, and found out he had grown up vegetarian that I went back to eating meat. Sounds weird, I know. But he met my family at my university graduation weekend, and my stepfather is notoriously known for his bbqing skills. My brother convinced him to try a “real” burger, and he was hooked. Of course, eventually it got to me, and I began eating meat again.

Of course, since I had been studying the Bible more and learning about healthier ways of eating, I still did not eat pork or animals considered “unclean”. I stuck with the basics of chicken, turkey, beef, and some fish. I am an Atlantic girl, and fish (specifically Atlantic Salmon) has always been a favourite.

Now recently, I’ve been reading and studying more into health. I’ve been looking at vegan diets, raw vegan diets, the details of what is going on with the meat that is served to us these days, the packaging, the handling, the processing, all of these things that are completely vital for us to know truly what we are putting in our bodies. And I’ve come to a conclusion: I need to get rid of the meat and animal products.

I could go on forever and ever about the toxins, poisons, and everything that is being put into animal products. I could tell you all about the fact that the majority of the meat we buy in stores has already gone bad and we don’t even know it. I could go on and on about how safety inspections are unrealistic, and how really, at the end of it all, we can only do the best we can with what we’re given. A hot topic, especially for someone who works out is of course how you get in enough protein.

But I’ve decided, the only true way to convince people is not a lecture, but to simply be a living example. And that is what I’m going to do.

Now, my husband is not quite on board with me on this, and I have promised to never ask him to change. If my life leads a perfect example, I figure that should be proof in and of itself. But little by little, he seems to be a little more supportive, though maintaining zero interest in it for himself, which is totally fine.

My plan is to still workout, to still continue researching how to eat properly, and to still continue on with everything else the same, except for how I eat. One difference. I’m getting the junk out of my system!

If you’re interested in this topic and wanting to know more yourself, the following are some of the links that I refer to frequently:

1. http://thebananagirl.com (she has other links from this site as well)

2. http://veganbodybuilding.com (some athletes even provide examples of their daily meals in their profiles)

3. http://www.thefrankmedrano.com (a man who chose to become vegan)

There are many more, but those are just a few to get started. I will keep you posted on how this goes!

#onajourneybacktoEden

Week 5 Day 3

What a way to wake up this morning – sore as could be! My quads hurt. My glutes hurt. My back muscles were tight. Oh boy! But I knew it was for a good reason, and for that I smiled.

Today was the kind of day where I thought everything was going superb, but it ended up being not quite what I thought. I felt so good doing laundry, taking care of the animals, got some grading done, as well as some computer work. While I’m in the full work mode, I began to notice the time go a little quicker. In fact, it went way too quick and I all of a sudden was in a rush to get ready for work. In fact, it was so much of a rush, I didn’t realize until 2 minutes before I had to leave that today was picture retakes day. Oh no… I was supposed to get retakes done today. So I did the best I could in two minutes (mainly changed my top and tried to fix my hair) and ran out the door.

The rest of the day went pretty good, minus a student doing something utterly ridiculous. But honestly today was a good teaching day. I was quite satisfied with it.

After work, I had a dentist consultation. I had been moulded for Invisalign, and this was my consultation to see how long it would take, how much it would cost, etc. I think it’s almost always safe to say that it’s going to be more than what I would like to pay, but they are honestly treating me so well, charging me for the minimum and taking some discounts out. I’m going ahead with it. It’ll start in November and will take 10 months. Have you ever seen the technology they have to figure these things out? It’s incredible! I got to watch my teeth’s movements and progress ahead of time for the whole ten months! Check it out sometime. It’s amazing.

After that, I came home. I spent some time talking with my husband until he was too hungry to talk. He needed food and decided to go out.

Now here’s a tip if you want to go with a person but you don’t want to get off track. Look up the nutrition for the menu before you go AND eat something! I grabbed a banana knowing I’d need to eat one later so might as well fill myself some with it now.

At the restaurant I had a side garden salad with a chicken breast. I also had already assessed my macros and found I had just enough room for a tiny sundae! Oh how that made me happy. This was definitely my treat for the week and it fit right in my macros!

Following the restaurant, we came home and got ready for the gym. I was so sore that I debated whether I should actually go or not, but decided since I had already eaten my banana (a workout food, not eaten on non-workout days) then I needed to go. So I did 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the recumbent bike and rolled a lot afterwards.

Now for the exciting part, pictures of my meals for the day!

Meal 1

Chicken and egg burrito. Absolutely delicious!

Meal 2

Never had one of these before! So good!

A sneak peak of what they look like. So much different than normal!

Meal 3

Super filling! Rice/quinoa dish with broccoli and chicken. I think I may have over microwaved the chicken… it got a little dry!

Meal 4

(Oops… I may have eaten this one too. I have to get better at this picture taking business! This meal was homemade hummus with rice crackers, celery and carrots.)

Meal 5

Greek and Chicken Chop Salad. Yum!