Two words come to mind when describing today: exhaustion and stress. It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. My body aches, my mind needs more rest, I’m nothing short of totally exhausted.
The school day went fine, and I had to stay after work for another 2+ hours for a meeting about a tutoring program that we’re trying to start up at the school. This alone was not necessarily stressful, but extremely tiring when you’re already exhausted.
After the meeting was over, I didn’t even go home. Our dogs were out of food, our skinny pig would be out of food soon, and my husband needed some “sick foods” replenished. So I went to the mall. What should have been a half hour trip turned into an hour and twenty minutes or so.
First, there was a homeless (or maybe not so homeless) man standing outside the grocery store. He was asking people for food or change. Now, I’m all for providing people with food because I know it will go to good use. I’m usually a little more cautious with money in fear of feeding an alcohol or drug addiction. He didn’t specifically ask me, but I heard him asking others as they went by. As I’m sure God would have it, I went inside, kicked myself, and walked back out, asking if I could buy him a sandwich or something he liked. He looked so surprised and happy and told me his preference of cheese and mayo (simple) and that he would really enjoy some milk. I’m not sure about you, but it has been my experience that if someone has dropped to the level of begging for food, that person has passed the level of humiliation. It is not easy to be someone who is at the point of standing by the grocery store door begging for food. And so, with this in mind, I went in and found a loaf of bread, a package of cheese slices, a jar of mayo and a jug of milk. He didn’t mention any meat so I was unsure as to whether he even ate meat (knowing a lot of vegetarians myself). But I got the bulk items so that this man could not just have food once but several times. And I did not pick the cheapest items because I know the blessings the LORD has given me. What pride if I shared some of my gifts with someone in need. Am I rich? Far from it. In fact my husband and I are in the middle of trying to balance our budget and get rid of some of our debt. By many financial standards, we are just getting by. But by someone, like a homeless man’s standard, we are doing well. And so I wanted to give this man not just quantity but also quality and selected items that were a little better than others while still trying to think simplicity to ensure he liked what I gave. When it came to the milk selection, however, I went organic. Not necessarily for the health option, but also because it was the only milk that came in a jug instead of a carton, and not knowing how far he had to go, a jug seemed like the better carrying option.
Either way, the whole point of that whole tangent of a story is not simply to boast about something I did, but rather to encourage you to pass on some good will. I don’t know the man’s story. I don’t know if he was really homeless, but the fact is that I’m not supposed to be the judge, God is. And so I can only do what seems to be the right thing. If I was hungry enough to beg for food, I can only imagine how thankful I’d be for someone to share with me. It’s definitely something to consider the next time.
So after that little time block of a detour, I went back into the grocery store to find the things my husband needed. I had a list, so it wasn’t really that bad. What was bad were the line-ups. It was like several busses had come and dropped everyone off. Plus they had like 3 promotions going on at the same time so the transactions took twice as long.
Finally, I got the stuff to my car. By this time, I’m starving, I can tell my blood pressure is low, and I’m not feeling good at all. So I made a bad choice. I bought a small package of candy and a small chocolate bar. Was it quick carbs to elevate my sugar levels? Yes. But were there better things I could have chosen? Absolutely. This was a weak moment. I moment that caused me to over my macros for the day. A moment I would go back and change. It didn’t even taste as good as I thought. This was a food fail.
I went to the second store, finished buying the things I needed, but tried to carry everything without a cart (14 kg dog food bag, skinny pig food, bag of hay, dog bones). Needless to say, this did not work so well. I ended up leaving the stuff and getting a cart. Lines were long again, and eventually I made it to the car.
But this particular mall has a parking lot challenge. It seems to contain many impatient people. I almost got hit a few times. For example, as I was leaving and slowly backing out of my spot, a car flew behind me, barely squeezing between my car and the car parked behind me. There was no thought of waiting until I had finished pulling out. Those kinds of things.
When I finally got home, I was so happy. So exhausted, tired, and just worn out. It felt so nice to be home. I was going to make today a rest day, but my husband really wanted to go to the sauna. So while he sat in the sauna, I did 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the elliptical.
To be honest, I feel really bad about the food. I know better than that. But I guess this is a reminder, a lesson to remember. There are better choices and I made a bad one. But this is a reminder to prepare even for the worst situations. And should the event arise where things take longer than expected, I can make a better choice.
Off to bed and a better day tomorrow!
Calm in Christ and Fitness 