Every once in awhile, I believe God allows things to happen to direct me to what I need to do/hear. Last night was one of those times.
I was driving from a friend’s house to go home (actually, I was heading to work to prepare for the next day, but that’s besides the point). The drive takes about 40 minutes so I have lots of time to surf the radio. Unfortunately, last night was also one of those nights where NOTHING was appealing to me on the radio. So I attempted to bluetooth my phone so that I could access my playlist. However, it wouldn’t work! It always works! I tried many times to turn Bluetooth off and on, but my car REFUSED to turn on Bluetooth. So, I gave a heavy sigh and turned to ShineFM, our Christian channel. Although I do not like every song that is played on this channel, I knew that it would at least have positive music.
It probably took half of the drive, slightly still in an uninterested mood as they weren’t playing music that particular struck me at the moment, one of their little sermonettes came on. And then I knew… this was the reason why. This was what I was supposed to hear.
I’ve been debating some major life changes for a long time. I’ve had so many people comment about my talents, about my “heart work”, and about the fact that I should chase my dreams. But I’ve been stuck, to put it lightly. I’m “comfortable” where I am, and truly, I love what I do. But there’s something I could love even more yet I never wanted to deal with the change, to deal with the unknown.
The 2-minute sermonette spoke about lifejackets. Lifejackets are the things that we hold onto for life; things that save us from drowning in the unknown. The person then challenged the listeners to think of what their lifejackets are: bank account numbers, jobs, relationships, etc. At any point of any day, those “fake” lifejackets could disappear. Life is not a guarantee. Money is not a guarantee. Jobs are not a guarantee. Our ONLY lifejacket should be God because He is the only thing in our life that truly will never disappear. Not only that, only HE can save us from the depths of our mistakes. Only HE can save us from the chaos of our life. Only HE is failproof.
This got me thinking… I have a problem. Yes, relationships have been a lifejacket in my life, but God has been working with me diligently in breaking from that cycle. Too many failed and broken relationships that have left me empty have caused me to learn this the extremely painful and long way. People cannot save you. It’s extremely rare to find someone who truly puts you above themselves. Sadly, that’s the human nature we’ve grown up with. However, I cower at paying tithe, the measly 10% that God requests, because I’m scared of not having enough money to cover my bills and living costs. I also have been scared to chase my dreams because I know my job provides. That’s when it hit me: Wow. I have more faith in my own control of my finances and my job than I do in God. How can I expect God to show me His power when I crowd Him out of the things I control the most? #facepalm After all of the things God and I have been through, the most extremes, I have not yet learned this? My God has separated a sea. My God has raised people from the dead. My God has provided food when there was none. My God has saved me each time I’ve hit rock bottom. My God has placed all of the things in my life that I’ve needed so that I could survive and continue to learn and love Him. Yet, here I am, once again, realizing I still have two powers over me. I just shake my head at myself.
Perhaps this is you too. Perhaps if you take a look at the “lifejackets” in your life, you’ll realize just what things in your life have power over you. Once you are able to identify these things, pray. Pray hard; that’s what I’m doing. I’m praying for the courage to step out in blind faith. I’m praying to release the chains of what is holding me back. And I know, with God’s help, He can help me defeat this too. Once again, I can step out into an unknown world and see God work His miracles for me. He rewards our faith but we can never see it unless we are willing to take that uncomfortable next step.
My goal is to pay tithe each month. Not only is this to obey God’s request, but to also prove to myself that I treasure God even above my finances. I’m also going to make the goal to chase my dreams. I’m having a bit of difficulty doing this at the moment; the roads I thought I could take are currently unavailable to me. Yes, at first this made me question this step, and to be honest, I still am questioning it a little. When I was denied access to my preferred route, I then came to realize I had missed the deadline for my backup by one day. One day. Double disappointment back-to-back. Somehow, during prayer, I had peace that I missed it because it’s not the right path to take, at least not at this time. I missed it, perhaps, because it would have been too easy. Perhaps God wants me to remember that I need to put ALL of my faith in Him and really remember how to step out into the unknown with zero control. Friends, right now I have zero ideas about what the future holds. I mean, I have ideas, but I have no plan. My plans are gone and need to be completely rehauled. But, regardless of what they end up being, I need to step out, let God guide me, and see what He has in store. His ways are not ours. He sees all when we see little.
I encourage you to evaluate your life. Identify the lifejackets that are holding you back. Recognize how much more faith we could have if we really surrendered it all to God; if we truly trusted Him to be with us and provide for us each step of the way. Imagine if we conversed with Him over every little thing that we do. Imagine if He was so important to us that we actually treated Him as our lifelong love that we conversed with and wanted to spend time with every minute of every day. I want to be more in love with Him. I want to have more faith in Him. I want to live for Him.
You’re not in this alone! If you need help and support, please leave your comments down below. Let’s start a community of support as we learn to release our fake lifejackets and learn to live in the only one that actually saves. ❤
Calm in Christ and Fitness 