Week 10 Day 5

This morning, I absolutely did not want to get out of bed. I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s the dread I have for parent-teacher interviews this evening. No matter what, I always get nervous. But either way, they must be done!

The work day was short, and even further shortened by the fact we had our Student Association speeches and elections today. It went very well, and I believe the students selected very good representatives for our school.

After the students left, instead of going out to lunch with my colleagues, I stayed at the school to prepare. Preparing for parent-teacher interviews is not easy. You have to re-read your comments, review the student’s work, select examples of student work to show, etc. I also like to have pen and paper ready to go in order to write down notes of what we talk about and suggestions that were made.

When it finally came time for parent-teacher interviews to start, I felt better but as always, like I couldn’t be prepared enough. Either way, the 13 interviews I had scheduled all in a row began. I was surprised how well the parents accepted some hard information, and how willing they were to work as a team on their students. As any teacher reading this will know, it’s a very relieving feeling to know that you can work as a team with parents and that you can support each other for the betterment of the students; something I appreciate so much!

It was a long evening, and I didn’t end up leaving the school until after 8:00 pm. I also hadn’t eaten much as I didn’t have any breaks since 2:00 pm when the meetings started. When I came home and ate, the carbs hit my system and I started fighting to stay awake. I didn’t want to take naps anymore as they always seem to make me feel worse instead of better. But when I’m sitting and trying to talk to my husband, yet my eyes keep shutting on me, I know I might even fall asleep on the 2 minute drive to the gym, and who knows if I might fall asleep at the gym? It hasn’t happened before, but it may.

So, we took a nap. But when the alarm went off, my husband looked at me and said he was too tired to get up. I can’t drive his truck and my car is still not running. So unfortunately, this meant no workout. But on the other hand, I got extra sleep. I will be playing catch-up with my workouts, but I can do that. My husband’s health is equally as important as mine and so I wasn’t going to argue, though I felt like it. I know love is not just said, but must be shown, and I’m not always good at that part. But tonight, my husband slept and I will definitely catch-up in the gym when he’s awake and ready to go!

Week 10 Day 3

Well, to say I was tired when I woke up was an understatement. I don’t know what is draining me so badly, but it’s obviously something.

I don’t think I was quite prepared for this school day either. I had about a million things going on at once. Aside from regular teaching, I had student glueing tables, glueing chairs, getting the computer cart when I did not even ask anyone to get it or that we were having computers right away, received word that my parents would gift us the trip of going home so I have to find a place for my animals to stay for the two weeks, trying to get a tutoring schedule ready for our new program so that the tutors can at least prepare for the topics they will be tutoring, signing the report cards so they could be ready to go already a day late, and the myriad of other things. Oh boy. What a day.

And to top it all off, we had an InReach meeting (Social Committee) that went 1 1/2 hours overtime. We did get some things settled which was great, but wow. I got home late today!

After I got home, I ate. Then my husband suggested I could take a nap. Then he suggested that he would take a nap with me. And that walkless sleepwalk that I sometimes have came back, and I apparently shut off the alarms again. Meaning that we didn’t get to the gym last night. I was not happy, my husband was not so happy. But you can be sure we will be there tomorrow, rain or shine, tired or not.

Week 8 Day 4

I woke up in such discomfort this morning, I actually considered calling in sick. But I sucked it up and went. Only when I got to work did I realize I forgot my bottle of painkillers at home. Ugh! Thankfully, there is a teacher’s reserve bottle in our medicinal/First Aid area at work.

I’ve been avoiding taking my tray off. My teeth hurt enough already with it on. And when I had talked to a previous student about how much it hurt (he has them too), he said the worst is when you take it off because it releases all the pressure. Then when you put it back on, the pressure goes back, and it’s all that extra movement that hurts the worst.

My plan for the day was to drink what I could. There was no way I was chewing anything. Soup was my best friend, but unfortunately even this had to be cool because Invisalign cannot handle hot things.

At lunch time, I did it. I took the tray off, went into the Staff washroom, and brushed my teeth. If only I could describe to you the pain. He was right. I honestly wondered how I was going to survive the rest of the day. But thankfully, I only talked when necessary and my kids treated me alright today. So somehow, I survived.

My meeting was very mini after school today, thankfully. I just wanted to go home and take a nap. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel hungry. But I guess the pain probably took that out of me.

I went to the gym tonight to catch up on yesterday’s workout. I honestly felt horrible, but did get an iced coffee to help. It was another three circuit workout focussing on shoulders, triceps and abs. I also finished up with HIIT cardio. But I discovered that when your teeth hurt, cardio makes them pulse. I know people keep telling me the pain will go eventually, and I’m trying to be as patient as possible. I will say that the desire to take it off has been a little less today, but it’s still driving me insane! Sleep cannot come soon enough!

Week 5 Day 3

What a way to wake up this morning – sore as could be! My quads hurt. My glutes hurt. My back muscles were tight. Oh boy! But I knew it was for a good reason, and for that I smiled.

Today was the kind of day where I thought everything was going superb, but it ended up being not quite what I thought. I felt so good doing laundry, taking care of the animals, got some grading done, as well as some computer work. While I’m in the full work mode, I began to notice the time go a little quicker. In fact, it went way too quick and I all of a sudden was in a rush to get ready for work. In fact, it was so much of a rush, I didn’t realize until 2 minutes before I had to leave that today was picture retakes day. Oh no… I was supposed to get retakes done today. So I did the best I could in two minutes (mainly changed my top and tried to fix my hair) and ran out the door.

The rest of the day went pretty good, minus a student doing something utterly ridiculous. But honestly today was a good teaching day. I was quite satisfied with it.

After work, I had a dentist consultation. I had been moulded for Invisalign, and this was my consultation to see how long it would take, how much it would cost, etc. I think it’s almost always safe to say that it’s going to be more than what I would like to pay, but they are honestly treating me so well, charging me for the minimum and taking some discounts out. I’m going ahead with it. It’ll start in November and will take 10 months. Have you ever seen the technology they have to figure these things out? It’s incredible! I got to watch my teeth’s movements and progress ahead of time for the whole ten months! Check it out sometime. It’s amazing.

After that, I came home. I spent some time talking with my husband until he was too hungry to talk. He needed food and decided to go out.

Now here’s a tip if you want to go with a person but you don’t want to get off track. Look up the nutrition for the menu before you go AND eat something! I grabbed a banana knowing I’d need to eat one later so might as well fill myself some with it now.

At the restaurant I had a side garden salad with a chicken breast. I also had already assessed my macros and found I had just enough room for a tiny sundae! Oh how that made me happy. This was definitely my treat for the week and it fit right in my macros!

Following the restaurant, we came home and got ready for the gym. I was so sore that I debated whether I should actually go or not, but decided since I had already eaten my banana (a workout food, not eaten on non-workout days) then I needed to go. So I did 25 minutes of steady state cardio on the recumbent bike and rolled a lot afterwards.

Now for the exciting part, pictures of my meals for the day!

Meal 1

Chicken and egg burrito. Absolutely delicious!

Meal 2

Never had one of these before! So good!

A sneak peak of what they look like. So much different than normal!

Meal 3

Super filling! Rice/quinoa dish with broccoli and chicken. I think I may have over microwaved the chicken… it got a little dry!

Meal 4

(Oops… I may have eaten this one too. I have to get better at this picture taking business! This meal was homemade hummus with rice crackers, celery and carrots.)

Meal 5

Greek and Chicken Chop Salad. Yum!

Week 2 Day 4

Today turned into a day of rest, which is ok. I’m supposed to be completely workout free for 2 days every week. So I’ve counted yesterday as my second one. It wasn’t exactly planned that way, but after my third long meeting, my third day in a row, I still had to run a few errands (resent the FBI papers… praying for fast delivery and processing!) and came home feeling lethargic. I still managed to eat properly, although by the time I went to bed, I was a little under my macros for the day.

My husband did not come home until after 9:00 p.m. Of course he came home exhausted and sore. I spent the little bit of time I had with him awake before he just had to go to sleep. I sat up for awhile, grading student work, before deciding cardio could wait until tomorrow.

I tried going to bed, but several times I had to get up to keep the dogs from whining. The house is noticeably different with my little Jewel gone. Her brothers and biological father miss her and I think they’re going through a bit of a small depression. First their mother is gone, now their sister. People honestly will never understand… Dogs are not just objects. They have hearts, they have feelings. They suffer loss just as much as humans do, and who am I to get mad when I know they’re crying and calling for their lost family member. Makes my heart ache twice as much watching them go through the separation and knowing the sadness I feel myself.

Needless to say, with all these emotions this week, I think it was best I took that day off. I was home with my babies. I was home for the few moments my husband was awake. I was able to catch up on some work. And I was able to go to bed slightly earlier than normal.

Tomorrow, I am back to the grind!

The Madness Won’t End!

You will never believe this. I can hardly believe it!

So this week started with the extremely awful government call I had to make.

Then I had a student incident that has not been easy to deal with.

Then I had another incident with another student that also not been easy to deal with.

Then as I’m home getting ready to leave, I get a knock on the door. I’m immediately questioning who it could be because nobody ever comes to visit us and it is hours too early for any delivery vehicles.

Two words: Animal Patrol

Apparently, my neighbours did not stop at calling the landlord months ago. They called Animal Patrol a week ago. Seriously? I was shaking so bad.

I have never been happier to know that one of our dogs is going to live with my grandmother in New Brunswick on Tuesday. I don’t understand these people.

I live in a townhouse. I have my own outside doors. I only work 4 days a week. Prior to this, I lived in an apartment, surrounded by more people, with the same dogs, for almost 2 years without EVER having animal patrol called for any reason. Does this not tell you something?

I’ve only lived at this place for not even half a year yet. We came just before the summer. And yet my dogs have already had Animal Patrol called without ever coming to talk to me personally? Even though I’ve had many more people live around me for 2 years and never had problems? It’s not like I changed dogs…

And then come to find out, the officer asks me about the neighbour’s dog. The one that I’ve noticed has been gone for almost a month. I was immediately filled with a little bit of rage. Why do I have to be beside some of the worst neighbours?

Honestly, it takes A LOT to make me not like someone. I may get a little frustrated with people, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like them. But I really don’t like my neighbours. I don’t like that it’s ok for them to have a ton of people out of their deck having a little party on a week night when others have to get up and go to work, but it’s not ok for me and my other neighbour to have dogs. This is a dog area. Most of the people who live in this section of townhouses have dogs. If you don’t like them, then you are in the wrong place.

So frustrated!

**As a side note, I know that I can’t stay this angry forever as it will only do damage to myself. Thus I am repeating and focussing on the prayer and verse below to help get rid of it. This is not easy…

Dear Righteous Father, I will not forget Your benefits as daily You help bear my burdens. Though I’m facing seemingly endless difficulties, I will not throw in the towel. I will set my eyes upon the hills and look forward with confidence of the future You have prepared for me; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord. Amen.

Psalm 103:2

Today I Walked in the Office and Said “I Quit!”

Ok, so not really. But I did walk in and said that I felt like quitting.

Today was one of those days. Those days where you wish you had never gotten out of bed, that you called in sick, that anything would have happened except what did. Teachers, I’m sure you know the kind of day I’m talking about.

Today I had to deal with something I hoped to never deal with; something that totally broke my heart. Since I don’t have kids of my own, those school kids are so much more like my own children. They are the kids that I try to protect. And when something happens, I immediately attack myself that I did not do a good enough job training and guiding them in life. When something happens, I immediately feel like a failure.

Today was probably one of the worst things I’ve ever had to deal with. So immediately my thoughts were I had failed as a teacher, I had failed as a guide in the life of my student, and I wasn’t fit for my job. What a hit!

Teaching is such a large, tough responsibility. Parenting is a huge responsibility. Any career in which you work with children and youth is a huge responsibility. When working with children, you have to realize that everything you do, they are watching. Anything you do or say, they will carry with them the rest of their lives. What a scary thought!

And as a teacher, you are being entrusted with someone else’s child which carries an extra burden in itself. You strive to be a good influence in their lives. You strive to teach them such great morals in such a small time and when something happens (and it honestly only has to be one thing), you feel as if you’ve failed altogether. Nevermind the fact that you have so many other kids in the class. All it takes is one student, one incident, and you immediately begin to judge yourself.

That’s what I went through today. I wanted to cry. I wanted to quit. I wanted to go home. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and go to sleep so that I could forget about the world around me at that moment. But instead I took deep breaths and did what I needed to do to deal with the situation.

Today was a really hard day.

Fellow teachers, a lot of you have probably dealt with something similar. I feel your pain, I feel your stress. Please know that you are not alone. The devil’s presence is ever near to us and our students, which makes our job ever increasingly important in showing them God’s light and guiding them away from the devil’s tactics and creating their own personal relationships with a Saviour that will be with them always.

Do the best you can and be the role model those kids need. Pray for your students and the choices they will make. It’s the best thing you can really do.

Those Students Who Blow Us Away

This past month has been spent on creating speeches. We have an annual Speech Arts competition where the school gathers judges to come and awards are given to the winners.

The process leading up to Speech Arts night is often a gruelling task. The students work for weeks in class, selecting their topics, researching the information, and writing a fluent speech. They then practice saying their speeches to a timer (criteria states it had to be between 3-5 minutes) and in front of a mirror and friends (to check for eye contact, proper posture, release of tension, etc…). Finally they learn how to properly write short form bullets on cue cards so that they are able to better memorize their speeches while having cards with point form notes incase they forget in front of a crowd.

The second step consists of two days worth of watching and listening to speeches in class. The students are graded on a given rubric. When the speeches have all been completed, the teacher then selects the top 3 in his/her class to compete for the evening of Speech Arts.

Our Speech Arts night was this past Thursday and I have never been so nervous for my students, particularly one.

This one student has had a long-term reputation in the school for being a behaviour problem (teachers, you know the kind I’m talking about). His expectations have been sub-par and even I was worried about having this student in my class from what I had heard of him before. And yet, though we have indeed dealt with some behavioural challenges, I cannot express to you the amount of difference that not only I, but other teachers have seen in him this year. This year, he worked the hardest of any student in my class to obtain his very first time on the Honour Roll. He also worked one of the hardest of any of my students on his speech and was one of my selected students to compete in Speech Arts. I was so proud of him.

He did very well in front of the judges, as well as the other two students I had chosen. His passion was in the topic, and when the judges presented him with his question, he handled it very well and had his answer spot on.

Of course, I don’t find out the answer from the judges until they’ve collaborated, but I was never more proud of him then when I was able to present him with a second place medal. He did so well!

I have watched this kid stretch and grow into an incredibly different person than he was when he first entered my room. The amount of work I’ve put into this kid alone is substantial. In fact he’s the only student in my class I’ve had to give an in-school suspension to. And yet, look at what he’s become. No, that doesn’t mean that the behaviour never creeps up again. Sometimes I wonder who’s hiding that jar of sugar he surely dipped into. But as I continue to work with him and develop that strong, trusting, teacher-student relationship, he has been accomplishing great things that he may have never thought possible before.

I can still remember sitting with other teachers from the school this week. They had asked who my top 3 were that would be competing. They completely understood why I had selected my other two contestants, but when I had said this particular student’s name, their mouths dropped.

Don’t give up on those tough students. Sometimes it’s the labels they have been given, the low expectations they know we have of them. Sometimes we just need to push them that much further, and yes, it definitely may be a fight along the way, but when that students has the chance to blow you out of the water, not a single fighting moment will matter anymore. It will all be worth it in the end!

They May Not Always Show It, But When They Do, They Show It Big

Today was probably one of the most stressful days of my life! Today I had my provincial evaluation for being a teacher. This is the day that could either make me or break me; I could remain a teacher for all-time, or my career could have been ended quite soon.

In preparation for this evaluation, I had a lot of sorting, reflecting, writing, and overall preparing to do. I did not sleep last night. In fact, I stayed up until 4:00 a.m. (way too much caffeine) just working on paperwork and lesson preparation. Then I got ready, and was at the school by 5:20 a.m. to make sure everything would be as ready as possible for when my evaluator showed up at 7:45 a.m. My husband would tell you, I was so tired, so full of caffeine (which I NEVER do like this), and so stressed, I was shaking immensely.

Two teachers in my school had been through this process in the past 2 years (one just a couple weeks ago). They both had the easiest times with their evaluators and passed with flying colours. My evaluator? Let’s just say, my secretary meets a lot of people, and even she could tell this guy was not that easy. *Sigh… God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.

So anyways, my evaluator was supposed to stay for the day, but had decided to leave after lunch, after he had talked with the principal and talked with me. He had a few positive things to say, mainly telling me that I’ll do fine, but I’m the type of person that needs to hear that I’m doing good, not that I WILL do fine. That made me nervous.

Of course, by the time evening had come around, my principal sent me a little message saying that he was impressed by what he had seen in my room. Well, that made it a whole lot better! I needed to hear that.

Now, although I technically “passed”, my evaluation is sadly not over as he will not process my recommendation until I’ve had a “current” evaluation from the principal, which he’s requested to be completed in the next two weeks. Only then will he come back, take a copy of her evaluation as well, and then I can finally sign the papers. Close, but not quite 100% there yet.

What really amazed me today was my students. Especially my student that probably demands the most of my attention on a regular basis. The amount that he kept telling the evaluator how he couldn’t fail me not only shocked me, but also spoke to me. For the first time in my life, I heard the student, who probably gets in the most trouble, whom I have the most “talks” with, said the most amazing things. The conversation was as follows:

Student: You can’t fail her.
Evaluator: Why not?
Student: She’s a limited edition teacher.
Evaluator: Well isn’t every teacher a limited edition teacher?
Student: She has a feature.
Evaluator: Well what is that feature?
Student: She can deal with a _______. (his name was placed there)

Now needless to say, more talking occurred from this point. But to think that the one student I constantly am working with the most feels that way about me, I was almost ready to cry. The amount of love I felt from those very words coming out of his mouth astonished me. All those days of frustration, of finding time I didn’t have to try and work out something, anything with this kid to get him to work in class and to stop bothering others, came out in the right moment, the moment that I’m sure helped me to shine a little brighter.

Of course, other students in my class also told him what a great teacher I was when they were asked, but even a few of previous girls from last year continued to stop in periodically and remind me to smile and to continue to do the best I could, the exact same things I had been telling them for the past two years.

As I was welcoming my students in my classroom in the morning, the grade 5 teacher quickly pulled me aside and without even asking put his hand on me and lifted me up in prayer.

The support is incredible. Sometimes the support is overwhelming, and always in the right moments. I love the school I work at, I love the people I work with, and most of all, I love the students who in the end appreciate all the hard work I’ve put into them, even if it does come years later.

Now I’m off to bed. Finally get to have some sleep!

Sitting and Watching…

Today was a cold day, a bitter cold day. The kind of day we don’t allow our students to go outside. Sometimes I am thankful that I do not have to stand in the cold watching the students on the playground, but then I always remember that I must contain them for that free period in my classroom that does not allow their energy to be used, but instead causes them to become more energetic. Thus it becomes more crazy than if we had suffered outside.

Today I took them to the gym. I am always thankful when the gym becomes available during these inside recesses. The students can then still expend some energy and it is a much smaller place for me to observe them. I sit with my bowl of oatmeal that I was supposed to eat for breakfast but haven’t managed to find the time to eat it until lunch in the gym.

At first I wonder about their freedom, about the abuse that seems to happen to freedom when the students receive it. I have some boys particularly that I’m keeping a close eye on. But as the recess continues, and the students have basically divided themselves into three sections in the gym, it dawns on me the responsibility being shown.

The first third of the gym is dominated by most of the boys, some girls, that are playing a game of dodgeball. I didn’t even need to talk to them once about throwing the balls wrong. There was just laughter and happy students.

The middle part of the gym was dominated by some boys who wanted to shoot hoops. Again, smiles all around and not an upset face to be found.

And the third part of the gym, closest to where I sat, was a group of girls who enjoyed zooming back and forth across the floor on the scooters. For once, freedom was enjoyed.

Not very often, as a teacher of the pre-teen hormonal phase do I have the opportunity to just sit back and enjoy the happiness in a room. In my classroom, I couldn’t count with all my fingers and toes the amount of times in a day I’m telling students to quit being so rude to each other, to say sorry to each other, to stop taking other people’s belongings, to quiet down, to do their work. It seems endless. And yet, here they are in the gym, obeying rules they aren’t even aware of, organizing themselves without really having to organize, and everyone was happy. I couldn’t help but smile.

It’s days like this and moments like this that I’m happy to be a teacher. My students are being responsible, independent, and respectable. Not only that, but they’re able to do it while having fun, while being kids.

One student in particular caused me to reflect even more. He came just over a week ago as a homeschool child entering a school for the first time. His level of respect, of being honest, and his “fitting in” is something I’ve been keeping a close eye on. Some homeschool students find it very difficult to fit into a school setting, but not this kid. He was out on the floor, laughing and smiling, playing dodgeball with all the other boys. This is a kid that knows what it’s like to be home without friends, to know very few people. This kid knows the joy of being around others and being able to have fun with them. This kid is one of the few that will admit he enjoys coming to school.

It’s not always easy being a teacher. I wish I could say my whole day was as wonderful as the 25 minutes in the gym during lunch recess, but unfortunately my class was quite chatty today. But I’ve carried that moment throughout the rest of my day, looking past their misbehaviours, looking past their arguments. I know “my kids” are good kids, and that’s the view I hold that gets me through the tough days. Sometimes it’s only those little moments that we, as teachers, look forward to, and that fuel us to keep trudging through the days when we start to question our careers. Those little moments provide enough sunshine to take away many cloudy days.