Why Go Vegan?

Hello everyone!

This is a huge decision, as you can imagine. I want to explain myself as to why I’m choosing this venue. Let me explain my history.

My father was very young when his family went from Quebec to New Brunswick. Speaking little to no English, they struggled for awhile to because accustom to the new province. My grandfather was a woodsmen complete with a team of horses and later big machinery. My father quit school after grade 9 to work with my grandfather. And so the lifestyle of “meat and potatoes” began. Whatever they shot was their meat, and whatever my grandmother grew in the garden was their produce. A very simple, carnivorous life.

Naturally, I grew up eating A LOT of meat. Not because we didn’t go shopping, but I was still a hunter’s daughter, and meat was a regular, every-meal thing. When I was young, it would be no big deal for me to sit down to a pound of bacon myself. It’s a miracle I wasn’t obese!

When I met my first vegetarians in grade 8, I was amazed. This concept that I believed to only belong to celebrities belonged to real life people! I was the only vegetarian in my area, and the lack of knowledge was evident in a quick trip to a hospital with extensive stomach pains. The doctor then informed me of some vital nutrition I was missing, and instead of telling me to eat meat again, told me some vital vegetables I needed to be sure I ate daily.

I was vegetarian for around 10 years. I quit meat cold turkey. My grandfather of course was convinced I was going to die, and was continuously trying to feed me meat. My only family was shocked, but my grandmother on my mother’s side, who has always had an interest in health, was happy. She basically went vegetarian with me! (She never was much of a meat eater).

When I met my husband, he was vegetarian and had been his whole life. My university graduation had led my brother to convince my future husband to try the “real stuff”. From then on, he was hooked.

Eventually, it was the smell of beef jerky that won me back. That smell in my very house all over again won me in. In fact, it opened up the whole new realm of macro counting with my interest in fitness peaking too. With the high levels of protein “needed”, it seemed as if I couldn’t survive without meat. And so I ate meat again for roughly 4 years.

Now, I’ve done so much research. And to keep it short, there is so much evidence that a plant-based diet is the way to go. I would like to think of myself as “getting back to the basics”, naturally. The world of fitness and diet will continuously battle itself. All information can be conflicting. But nothing can deny the way you feel both mentally, physically, and spiritually. Mentally, I’m not hating my food, I’m not worried about going over my “macros”, and I’m not worried about having to stop myself from eating while still feeling like I’m starving. Physically, I feel better. I don’t have to worry about eliminating things to figure out what’s wrong with my body, I get to look forward to younger, more flawless skin. And spiritually, I can feel good about being accountable for selecting the best foods that I can. I can also feel good about my choice not to inflict pain on animals that I myself could not kill. If I couldn’t do it, why do I take part in the process at all?

Some things I’m going to be doing are:
-Trying to buy as much organic as I can
-Continuing my workouts
-Drinking 3L of water a day
-Learning more about, and sticking to food combining rules
-Cutting processed sugar 95%
-Eating mostly fruit until supper
-Eating raw 90% of the time
-Eating until I’m full!

I will keep you posted on my journey! I’m excited for this new phase 🙂

My Apologies and Resignation

As many of you knew before, I was a Mary Kay representative and very much in love with their products. They have a lot of products that I would still recommend if it weren’t for the reason I’m resigning.

One of the things that was a “make-it-or-break-it” deal when I was deciding whether to join or not was simply whether the products were tested on animals or not. Mary Kay was not testing on animals, and so this was excellent news for me.

I read an article the other day that was talking about secrets behind businesses we all know. Mary Kay was one of them, as well as Avon and another I can’t remember. Without telling their many employees or customers, these companies, who at one time did animal testing and quit are now back to animal testing. How could they do this?

I cannot and refuse to support abuse to animals. It is unnecessary that they be tested with a product that they did not choose for themselves, and that isn’t designed for them anyways. Products should be safe enough that humans could test them should they volunteer. So I have many, many problems with this.

The product I have now is from before the New Year’s, and hopefully before they were animal testing again. I’m no longer placing orders, but simply clearing my stock for 30% off. I, myself, will continue to use the products I have until they are gone, and once they are gone, I will not order again. This is so sad to say for products I really enjoyed.

If you would like any of my leftover products (Canadian customers), please let me know. As I said they are 30% off right now, and hopefully produced before animal testing was brought back in. Help a consultant get out of the business, not to support the abuse behind the scenes.

Not Sure How We’re Supposed To Live?

Now I know many of you are from either the States where you have to pay for health services, or from other countries of which I’m highly uneducated of how your health systems work, but here in Canada, we are known for our free health care. This has both been a good thing and a bad thing because waiting times are usually outrageous.

Recently, the province I live in, Alberta, has had a budget renewal. Due to the price of the Canadian dollar summiting so low, and the price of oil dropping off, our economy has done little but crash and leaving us in a current 5 billion dollar deficit.

So what does the government decide to do amongst other things? Start charging us for health care. Now keep in mind, I understand that others will look at us and say things like, “We’ve always had to pay for it. So stop whining about it.” But what I’m asking you to remember is that Alberta is one of the most expensive places to live. Just because gas prices and things have gone down, living costs have far increased past wages in the past many years. You can come here to make money, but you also come to lose money.

Aside from that, you have to remember that health care was one less thing we had to budget. Yes, we still have to pay for the dentist, chiropractors, and medical needs of that line. But this is the direct access to a doctor that will now cost us.

I wouldn’t even be complaining if we had to pay something like 10-20 dollars a month for health care as I feel that is a good introduction to the paying of health care. But they are going to ask us to pay $1000 per year for health care. Combine that with the fact I’m almost getting 60% of my net pay already by the time they take out taxes, and the fact that I just barely am over the limit of which you have to start paying for health care (people under a net income of 50,000 do not have to pay), I’m not sure where it is going to come from right now. Maybe if I didn’t have so many taxes taken out, I would find this easier to accept. But when my account is pretty much dry by the middle of the month simply paying bills, and I’m living off 100% of my husband for the second half already, and we’re barely making it month to month as it is, how am I supposed to come up with a possible $2000 for the both of us?

On top of all of this, there are many refugees and immigrants from various countries that are somehow able to live in Canada getting $24,000+ per year from the government just to sit home and take English classes. Yet my husband and I are in debt because he was unable to do anything for 2 years and has been working for less than a year. Aside from all of the many dollars we have had to pay to Immigration, I can’t seem to catch a break.

The worst part of all of this is that my husband has not been “home” to see his family in almost 2 years. The government did not allow him to leave the country, and only in a few months will be his first time to leave. So we had plans of trying to save up some money to drive down and see his family, finally.

This whole fee thing would probably be even less of a deal if it weren’t for the fact this budget is supposed to go into effect THIS JULY. So somehow, I may be $1000 or $2000 out (our entire trip if not more) just for health care and my husband not able to see his family, his grandpa that is sick and his brother who he wasn’t even able to travel to see during his surgeries last summer?

My head can’t even wrap around this right now. I don’t even know what to do. It seems like the world keeps demanding money, specifically the government, but our wages don’t rise, and instead we get less and less to live from. I don’t know how I’m going to do this…

Week 11 Day 6

I didn’t want to let my husband go to work this morning. The storm continued over night and the snow is well over a foot and a half deep. It’s almost -40 C and I know the road conditions are going to be terrible. But my husband still got up and went off to work.

On the way to work, he took me over to get my car from the school. He shovelled (for as long as the cold would allow him before freezing) to get my car out of the snow, and let it run for a few minutes. I told him to go on ahead to work, but he refused until he saw me drive the car out. Well, let’s just say, my husband is smart. For the first time ever, my car would run for a second and shut off. I would start it again, and it would shut off. My car was absolutely refusing to run in the cold. The poor thing. So, my husband took me back home before going to work, and I rescheduled all of my appointments again. Taxis are not required to have winter tires, and I refuse to either get in an accident or be stuck on the road in a taxi. Everything will have to wait for another day.

My husband ended up coming home early. If they dared to stop, the work van would have been stuck. So they basically did a loop from home to the shop to the site, kept on driving back home. It was so nice to know he wasn’t on the road and he could be home safe and sound.

We only went two places: GNC for some things I needed. Black Friday sales were on and we got an awesome deal on lots of goodies!

We also went to the gym. I did an excellent shoulder workout. My shoulders burned so badly. I didn’t take the time to do cardio though, because even though I had the day off tomorrow, my husband didn’t, at least not yet that we knew of. So I left with a satisfied shoulder burn!

I’m ready to go home and sleep well in a warm house tonight!

Week 8 Day 3: Going Crazy

Today was a bit more stressful than usual. I have a big dentist appointment after school that I need to have my kids ready so that I can leave as soon as the bell goes while the other teacher will watch over my class, and yet have everything I need prepared including teeth cleaned before I see the dentist. Ah. All of this on top of trying to get as much grading done as possible since report cards are going to be an soon and upcoming deadline. Ah! Too much at once.

Somehow, I made it out the door to the dentist on time. Today was the day I was getting my Invisalign put on. But I definitely didn’t have any time to spare. In, to the washroom quick, and straight into the chair. First the polished my teeth. Then they put on these attachments to help the apparatus twist my teeth properly. Then they had to sand in between my teeth to make more room for movement. Finally, the plate got put on. Prior to leaving, the dentist made sure I knew how to take it off and put it back on as you’re not supposed to eat with it on.

Now, I had braces when I was in junior high, and I can remember the days of just laying on the couch in pain. But I don’t think I was as prepared for how much it would drive me crazy this evening. In fact it was driving me so crazy, and I was using every ounce of willpower I had not to take it off, that I ended up sleeping my evening and night away so that I wouldn’t be awake to have to deal with it. I didn’t even go to the gym. It’s messing me up so bad! I can’t even call it painful. But I can say that there was nothing more forefront on my mind than getting that tray out of my mouth. And I think the fact that I knew it was possible to take off made it all the worse. Ah! Sleeping away reality.

Today I Walked in the Office and Said “I Quit!”

Ok, so not really. But I did walk in and said that I felt like quitting.

Today was one of those days. Those days where you wish you had never gotten out of bed, that you called in sick, that anything would have happened except what did. Teachers, I’m sure you know the kind of day I’m talking about.

Today I had to deal with something I hoped to never deal with; something that totally broke my heart. Since I don’t have kids of my own, those school kids are so much more like my own children. They are the kids that I try to protect. And when something happens, I immediately attack myself that I did not do a good enough job training and guiding them in life. When something happens, I immediately feel like a failure.

Today was probably one of the worst things I’ve ever had to deal with. So immediately my thoughts were I had failed as a teacher, I had failed as a guide in the life of my student, and I wasn’t fit for my job. What a hit!

Teaching is such a large, tough responsibility. Parenting is a huge responsibility. Any career in which you work with children and youth is a huge responsibility. When working with children, you have to realize that everything you do, they are watching. Anything you do or say, they will carry with them the rest of their lives. What a scary thought!

And as a teacher, you are being entrusted with someone else’s child which carries an extra burden in itself. You strive to be a good influence in their lives. You strive to teach them such great morals in such a small time and when something happens (and it honestly only has to be one thing), you feel as if you’ve failed altogether. Nevermind the fact that you have so many other kids in the class. All it takes is one student, one incident, and you immediately begin to judge yourself.

That’s what I went through today. I wanted to cry. I wanted to quit. I wanted to go home. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and go to sleep so that I could forget about the world around me at that moment. But instead I took deep breaths and did what I needed to do to deal with the situation.

Today was a really hard day.

Fellow teachers, a lot of you have probably dealt with something similar. I feel your pain, I feel your stress. Please know that you are not alone. The devil’s presence is ever near to us and our students, which makes our job ever increasingly important in showing them God’s light and guiding them away from the devil’s tactics and creating their own personal relationships with a Saviour that will be with them always.

Do the best you can and be the role model those kids need. Pray for your students and the choices they will make. It’s the best thing you can really do.

God Only Knows…

So the weirdest thing happened to me this week, and it can only be explained that God was providing me with what i needed before I knew it, and it happened in the strangest way. Here’s what it was:

As far as the dynamics of the school, grades 5-8 are all downstairs. Because we are all together, we share in our options classes. Junior High had an outdoor adventure this week, and so it was simply grade 5 and my grade 6s in our area.

Options happen every Tuesday and Thursday and prior to this year, we have ALWAYS cancelled Options during the week that Junior High was gone. And that’s why this year was so strange.

The grade 5 teacher came to me on Monday saying that he knew I needed a break and was considering teaching a his Choir class so that he would have both grades 5 and 6 and I would have a spare. Normally this would not be a spare for me anyways because I teach the Junior High French at the same time. And as much as he seemed to stress that I needed a break, I could not figure out why!

Tuesday came, and he told me he had decided to teach Choir that day and went out of his way to tell me that he would keep them as long as he could so I could have a break and was just making sure that everything was ok and convenient for me. I was in total disarray trying to figure out what I did to require such a break!

I knew Choir class was almost an hour, and decided to use my time wisely: hence the government call that I have blogged about earlier.

The best part is, not only was Choir scheduled for just shy of an hour, but he kept the kids overtime!

Now picture this: just gone through the worst, most frustrating call I’ve ever had with the government over such a huge issue in my life, got treated incredibly rudely on the phone, was left so emotional afterwards, and yet had the spare time to regroup myself. eat some food and manage to level out before my students returned. Now tell me that isn’t God’s timing!

You see, I didn’t plan on that call. I definitely didn’t plan on that spare! Yet for some reason, somehow, God impressed upon my co-worker that I needed that particular time that particular day with the right amount of time to deal with something I needed to deal with. I had no idea. I had no idea why things were going the way they were, and yet it all made sense in the end. God had this planned and provided me with what I needed to do it.

I cannot sing God’s praises enough. The very fact that He sees everything – the beginning and the end – and knows everything in between just humbles me. My God has it all under control before I even realize it. My God provides everything I will need when the time comes. My God is more powerful than I could ever imagine. My God is truly the God of Love.

I Have A Confession: It’s Not Always That Easy…

So it’s true. I have a confession to make.

I feel as if I come across as very positive, and if I do, that’s my goal. I honestly try super hard to look for the positive in everything. That’s just who I am. I know there is usually a positive side to everything or at least a way through every tough situation. I know that. I’m naturally optimistic. I also am aware of that. And even though I’m really good at showing my optimistic side, I have to admit, it’s not always that easy.

I’m looking at today as an example. It has been weeks since I found out that the government lost my husband’s FBI report. I was mad for a couple days, got over it, and realized we do have enough time to apply for another one because he was at least issued his work permit. But I had never had the chance to call them myself until today.

For starters, there’s always a wait time on the phone. And I was using a spare at work to call so my anxiety was raising a little that they wouldn’t answer by the time my students came back.

Then, I explained my situation quickly to which the guy questioned me as if I was crazy. This didn’t help.

And on top of it all, not only did I wait, got questioned as if I had no idea what I was talking about, I got told he couldn’t do anything without speaking to my husband and he has to be here with me if I am to talk. All of that for nothing.

And after I hung up the phone (the guy offered no apology or anything and said a very quick good-bye), I realized that I had been optimistic about talking to them myself and at least figuring out what went wrong even if we had to apply again. But quite pointedly, my optimism was nothing short of dashed and I was left in a mess of anxiety and completely upset.

You know, it’s one thing to know that everything is going to be ok, because it is. I know it will be, one way or another. But I have to tell myself it’s also ok to BE in that moment, to feel what I feel. I mean, this is something that my entire heart is woven into. This whole process has cost us so much money and time and has tested our faith and strength so much. Then to hear that the man was totally unwilling to help me and not even feel bad about it? For an optimistic person like me, that’s hard to handle.

I’m a problem solver. I’m used to figuring out my own problems, my friends problems, and my students problems. That’s what I do. And to have a problem that means so much to me personally unsolved and nothing I can do about it, that’s almost heart shattering.

The thing is, I’m ok now. But at that moment, I almost had a meltdown. Mix the stress of wondering how his residency is ever going to be done, let alone the thought of citizenship afterwards. Mix that with the 20 children I’m responsible for all day. Mix that with the table full of 4+ hours worth of grading that I need to do. Mix that with the mass amount of paperwork I have to do before the end of the month to meet government deadlines for education. Sometimes it honestly gets too hard to handle.

And that’s what I want you guys to know. I do hope you gain happy influences from my blog; that you learn to hopefully see God’s hands even in the worst of things. But I don’t want to be fake; I want you to know that I’m human and sometimes life does get too much for me in the moment. I know I will pull through, I know God will carry me when I need it, but it’s ok to admit you have too much going on or too much in your head. Breaking down is a way of dealing with all of those emotions you carry, and that’s perfectly ok. Take a walk, watch a show, exercise, or lay down and listen to music. Do what it takes for you to get through that moment because when that moment has passed, however long it takes, you will be able to deal with it later or at least have the mental clarity to get the help you need. You can do it.

So there I go. Now you guys know. Life really isn’t all rainbows and butterflies but much more a cartoon strip of repeatedly falling and getting back up on your feet. The main point is not the falling, it’s about the getting back up. As long as you can do that, you’ve already won the battles you will face.

Those Moments You Have to “Dig Deep”

I found this picture at a very convenient time yesterday, after I returned from the gym. It was one of those extremely few nights where the gym doesn’t seem like my playground, but rather a night where my body seems to have hit such a point of exhaustion that every rep makes me want to cry, the rest after every set gives me enough time to make a million excuses of how I simply cannot do this anymore, and I literally reach the point where I’d rather curl up on the gym floor and just shut my eyes than do anything else. Last night was one of those nights.

Thankfully those nights don’t happen often; I don’t know what I’d do if they did. Mostly they come when I haven’t been sleeping (roughly 6 hours of sleep in the 48+ hours prior) or when stress has passed the point of being unbearable, or my self-defeating thoughts come out of nowhere and my positivity has grown tired of fighting for me. Though the stress and sleep problems are a regular during the school year, the self-defeating thoughts are very rare. Conveniently they surface when I’m already at a vulnerable point with my other two. Mix that with a severe physical exertion at the gym, and my body no longer wants to be strong. It wants a break; a break from the stress of life, a break from the hard situations I have to deal with or think about, a break from the exhausting to-do lists that I always seem to have, and a break just to rest and forget it all. That’s what my body cries out for in moments like last night.

The worst part about the whole situation is the breaks between sets. The time that I have to come up with excuses of why my body and brain should get what they want; excuses of how I can’t go on anymore. Because the truth is, if I did quit, I’d always find it easier to quit in the future. If I did quit, I’d be admitting defeat; accepting failure. And if I did quit, I’d be lying to myself, the people around me, and my students I strive so hard to inspire because if I’ve ever wanted to tell anyone anything, it’s that you should never give up; don’t quit. It may not be easy, but if you want something that badly, keep going, no matter the setbacks. If you want something bad enough, you will find the headspace you need to get there if you will only dig deep. 

Dig deep in the moments you’re thinking of letting go. Dig deep when the pace of your life seems so slow.
Dig deep when the light barely shines in. Dig deep when the whole world seems to spin.
Dig deep when you’re not sure you can continue on. Dig deep and show yourself you were wrong.

You see, the whole point of this is that you can do it. You can beat those feelings, you can beat those thoughts. There is something deep inside of you, some fire that was burning that got you to the place you’re trying to be successful at. But brick walls and speedbumps will always show up. I once read a quote that life is like an obstacle course, and honestly, how true that is. The question is: Are you going to decide it’s just too tough and you can’t do it anymore? Or are you going to defeat yourself, conquer those thoughts, and prove to yourself that you are greater than you thought you ever could be? Because I know you’re an amazing person. I know your life has purpose and meaning. And I know that although there are going to be times that are tough, but I also know that each of you have it in you, and if you continue to fight for it, you will achieve and even surpass your wildest goals and dreams. You guys can do it!

So to finish the night, I decided that no matter what I told myself, I was not going to quit. There was no way. Even if it meant being a little more shallow in my squats, I was going to finish my workout. Even if it meant wiping tears after every set, I was going to finish. And just by taking one set at a time, I managed to slowly complete that workout routine. I did it. I moved past the fears, past the tears, and past the thoughts that were holding me back. I fought through the exhaustion and won my battle knowing full well that now I could be proud because I didn’t give up and I didn’t quit but instead I dug deep and found that spark that kept me going. 

Thank you and good night blog friends!

You Just Never, Ever Know…

I had already written this blog post once, believe it or not. As I sat crying, I poured out my heart on this computer. But just as I was finishing, my computer decided to glitch and it was all lost. I didn’t have the heart to write it again. Except this time, I’m not crying my heart out and writing in a different manner.

You see, normally I don’t work on Fridays. Well, I do, but from home. Last Friday was different as my grade 6s and I had a PAT scheduled for Friday morning. So therefore, we had to be there.

The PAT went alright, and most of the students had rides to leave right after, the others had soccer practice. I had a few of my students from last year come to visit me and study for their upcoming exams. I was able to make practice questions for them so that I could help them if necessary.

While they were studying, I received the most unexpected message from my mother. It was news that one of my friends had just died. By “just”, I mean within the half hour. It hit me like a deer in headlights. I didn’t believe it for a second.

This girl and I were on the same basketball game in high school, were in the same classes, and even though it had been awhile since I had seen her, we had been very good friends.

I maintained control as my mother began to tell me more details of the car accident, the head on collision, the fact that her baby and her were in the one vehicle, and a woman in the other. Both the baby and the other woman had been sent to the hospital as code 1 which means the ambulance is travelling fast with flashing lights as the passengers have serious injuries. However, my friend went code 2, which meant deceased and nothing they could do, so no rush, no flashing lights.

I just couldn’t believe it. Even now, the emotions are starting to rise again, but for the first hour, I just couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t think of anything else, but I managed to have a small conversation with a cousin of mine who also know my deceased friend. We discussed how the tiny town (population around 100-200) we came from never has anything like this happen. We discussed how we take it for granted that everyone we know will just be there when we go back to visit. We discussed how we really need to realize that anything can happen anywhere. And that’s when it really started to sink in.

Now, being at work was not the place I should have been. But I managed to hold it all back while the students were still there. It was when they decided to leave that the tears started to fall. I didn’t full out cry just yet, but managed to keep it still mostly contained. My husband showed up early from work to pick me up. I kept it in until I let him in the door and we got back to my classroom. I couldn’t even answer him what was wrong without starting to bawl. It sunk in so deep.

I cried and cried and cried, my husband not really knowing what to do. He helped me to pack, and took me home. I continued to cry and cry and be upset and wonder why these things had to happen. I knew I’d deal with this whole situation, but I didn’t want to have to deal with it. I went through the deep of emotions of how life is unfair and how her 8-month old baby is left without a mom. I was in a deep, dark, painful place. And that’s where I was originally writing this blog.

You see, just like I knew in my head the whole time, I would learn to deal with it. Loss is a thing that unfortunately occurs in life, sometimes way too frequently. You can’t avoid it. But you can learn to deal with it. And that’s what I had to do.

I cried myself to sleep. I slept for quite awhile. When I awoke, I had a huge headache, and had the eyes of an alien. But my husband asked if he could take me to a funny movie, just to help any he could. I agreed, and in order to not rush me, we planned on going to the late movie, and he went out to the gym for a quick workout so I had time to get ready at my own pace.

Fortunately with an extra application of some good Mary Kay make-up, and a good hair tease, I was able to mostly hide those alien eyes and the fact I had cried for hours. My husband and I went out, he was very caring, and made sure I had the best time possible at the movie.

We came home, I went straight to bed, and was able to wake up this morning (still with a headache), but ready to begin again. The tears may be gone, but the pain I feel for my friend and her family is not. A life is not something that can be replaced. This sweet smile will not be seen again. But the memories we hold of her, the pictures that capture the moments of her life, and the baby that will forever be a reminder of her are left behind. I don’t know the update on her baby. He’s still alive and I’m assuming he’s stable. The extent of his injuries are something I don’t know. But what I do know is that he has an extensive, caring family that will be there to raise him and to remind him of the wonderful mom he had.

You just never know what will happen. A life that could be here one minute may not be here the next. Really, there is no time to fight, there is no time to hate, there is only time to focus on making sure the people you love know that you love them. Make sure you’ve made them a priority in your life. Love them, spend time with them, and go to bed each night knowing you’ve done your best. You honestly just never, ever know.