Day 14

I did not sleep well at all last night. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I was literally paranoid about everything (didn’t help my dog barked, and the neighbour decided to turn on their tv which just happens to be on the opposite side of the same wall where my head is). It was a very, very restless night.

This morning, I had to literally drag myself out of bed, and thus was very rushed getting ready. I am also being evaluated by my principal today, so there’s just so much going through my head.

For the morning, and on into lunch, I’ve been drinking away 1.75L of pulpy orange juice. I knew today would be a rushed mess, so I planned accordingly on ease of intake. The orange juice is easy to sip away.

It was a very stressful day, not just with the lack of sleep, but also with my evaluation in the afternoon. I only snacked on one banana for the afternoon. It was really not turning out to be a good day.

My evaluation went ok, though I don’t get my results back right away. I was starving and not focussed or anything by the time the end of the day hit. I just wanted to go home. I wrapped up things as soon as I could, and I went home.

Once I got home, I took a few minutes just to chill and debrief. It was a day I didn’t really want to repeat again. After I felt a bit better, I ate two chocolate and coconut vegan granola bars, and a pot of rice that I added a spoon of vegan cream cheese and some nutritional yeast flakes to. It gave me the nutrition I needed to feel better, and to fuel up for the gym.

I had a great workout. I did a hard circuit of ISO explosive squats, lunges, planks, overhead squats and push-ups. I then did 35 minutes of hard cycling on the stationary bike. I was WIPED by the time I was done, but I was so proud I finished!

Upon coming home, I took out a huge watermelon that I had, and managed to eat a quarter of it. Watermelon fills me up so fast! I then finished the night with some more of my fresh mango cake topped with coconut yogurt.

You know, it makes a total difference in how I feel based on what I eat. When I eat cleaner, I feel better. When I eat a ton of junk, I feel like junk. After that last pizza binge, I weighed 8 pounds more the next day. It just goes to show how that much grease and slow digesting stuff really can mess with you. I gotta stay on the clean train!

My husband also had a really garlicky cheese pizza, and I was so tempted just to take one little piece or bite. But I conquered! I can do this!

Day 12 – An Unplanned Write-Off

This morning I woke up so dehydrated! So right away, knowing I caused damage last night, I drank some water.

But problems started right at breakfast. I actually tried to sit down and eat this red papaya I had. I noticed it smelled a little funny when I cut it open, but went on to eat it anyways. The very first bite, I spit out within two seconds. I don’t know what happened to this papaya, so of course I went looking for something else. I didn’t really feel like eating after the awfulness of last night, but of course, I want that stuff out of my house, then rationalized that I couldn’t waste all that money, so I finished last night’s leftovers. Awful, terrible, don’t even want to talk about it. The biggest key to success is to not even bring it in the house. I’ve gotta learn!

At the gym, I went for a gruelling 35 minute stationary bike ride. I kept raising the difficulty every two minutes and it took so much work. I was so happy when I was finally finished the last 10 minutes. I was beginning to think I should lower the level, but I managed to stick it out! I was so thirsty and drank a ton of water when I was done. But I was happy.

I finished my workout with some lunge stretches, walking high kicks, and my chiropractor’s exercises. It felt good to get things done in the morning for sure.

I don’t even want to speak about my lunch, but to be accountable, I must. Remember those brownies from last night? Well, let’s just say they got finished, topped with some vegan coconut milk yogurt. I should have just eaten the yogurt, but I can officially say all the junk is out of my house again. I just feel awful and need to get to the point of throwing stuff out rather than risking my health, and not ordering it in the first place. It’s back on the proper mental train.

Or… let’s just add fuel to the fire. My husband and I eventually got ready and headed into town. We’re due for our weekly groceries, and he had no food to really eat left. So we stopped to get him food. Instead of not getting anything like I should have, I did make a vegan decision, but a bad decision as far as eating when I wasn’t hungry. I had a green onion cake, and I would have been just fine if I hadn’t had it. Ugh… The moral of all of this is just stop. Just don’t indulge in things you KNOW are going to make you feel awful. It starts a huge train wreck that you have to try and reset yourself from. Learn from my terrible, bloating, sick-feeling, stomach-turning mistakes. I have not done my job in taking care of my body.

So, I’d like to say the rest of the day finally went better. To some minor extent, it did. But honestly, I snacked on Veggie Chips, organic limeade, and that’s about it. I was going to make baked bananas, but found out I had forgotten I was out of tin foil.

Today was a bad day, and a prime example of why the avoidance of eating junk is so important. Because I ate so badly all day, I had huge cravings for candy tonight. That’s a sure sign that I did not eat enough fruit today (or any) and it’s just a wreck. I’m thinking of doing a completely raw couple of days to help flush out my system. Let’s see if I have the mental power to do it!

Week 10 Day 2: You Are Capable Of More Than You Realize

Well, this morning was nothing short of a little rushed. My car has not been looked at yet, so my husband had to drop me off at work on his way. This was not a big problem, except he underestimated how much I have to get done in the morning. It was truly my fault we weren’t out the door sooner because I didn’t sleep last night. Honestly, this teaching thing has a way of consuming you. I need to get a grip on this thing!

School went fairly well, but I did notice my shoulders were very tired/sore. I was simply lifting papers out of the huge stack I had graded, and handing them back to the students. They must have gotten a good back workout yesterday (shoulders must have taken a brunt of it).

My students were fairly good today, though they did seem a little more active than normal. Then again, we did a practice for our language arts PAT today (2+ hours of writing), so I guess I can expect the pent-up energy.

After work, I had to wait for my husband to come pick me up, which was totally fine because I was able to get some more things done at work, and when he finally came, I absolutely refused to take work home with me tonight. After taking over my life so much, I needed a night off. This was a phenomenal feeling.

At home, my husband straight-up told me that I had to take a nap before the gym. I chose not to argue, and simply told him I need to eat first, because in the rush of the morning, I had not packed food, and therefore was only able to eat the organic and natural carrot/curry/coconut soup that was in my fridge, as well as two containers of Greek yogurt. I was not running on anything much for fuel.

Strangely enough, this is where it hit me: I was craving healthy food! In fact, with all of the things in our house, I wanted fruit, cottage cheese, and pumpkin spice Nuts n’ More peanut butter. Seriously! I was in love and so happy this is what my body was craving.

My nap turned into a 4-hour sleep. And I felt awful when I woke up. My body ached so badly, my limbs barely functioning to move, and my eyes could barely stay open. But this is when my body hit autopilot, and somehow, I changed my clothes and made it downstairs.

On the way to the gym, I did something I never do, nor do I usually advise doing. I had my usual iced coffee, but also a doughnut. I researched ahead of time, and picked a doughnut that was lower in fat, and mediocre in carbs. The reason for my decision was the simple fact that my body was in need. It needed a carb that would energize me quickly (gym was only 2 minutes away). The truth is, I didn’t even want a doughnut. I try to avoid a lot of sugar like that. I wanted to stop eating it after two bites, but I knew it would help. So yes, I ate a doughnut.

We got to the gym, and I expected to feel worse than yesterday; the mental battle, the lack of ability, but I was totally wrong. Tonight was legs, and I normally hate, no, despise leg workouts. But today, I loved it! I don’t know where the energy and motivation came from, but it was undeniably there. I killed my workouts, things seemed easier, I felt stronger and I was smashing my records. Here are some of the things that were different:

1. I normally struggle with 70 lbs on prone leg curls. It seemed so semi-easy tonight!
2. I was mentally thinking that 90 lbs was the weight I used for seated leg curls last time, curled it, found it easy, only to find that the most I had used was 85 lbs in the past!
3. For the first time ever, I did smith machine lunges. Wow, these killed me, but I could tell were working my legs well.
4. I normally hate barbell walking lunges, and tonight my coach wanted us to drop the back knee twice each time instead of the normal once when walking. I dreaded them before I did them, did them and LOVED them!
5. Normally, I find leg press heavy. I don’t know how else to describe it than that. I completed my regular presses with 120 lbs, thinking that was bigger than normal. But for some reason, I was in a stellar mood and decided to do another set with 180 lbs. I ALMOST got my husband to spot me, in fact I even walked over to him, but then decided I need to do this on my own. Well, let me tell you, I did it! Every single rep, and it was not as hard as I thought. So I decided to do more. And I raised it to 230 lbs. And you know what? I did it for 10 reps! Oh my goodness! I was so happy, so ecstatic. Almost double the weight I’ve been using to train, and yet I am so much more capable. I was SO happy!

And again, we went home, and what did my body crave? Cottage cheese, fruit, raw veggies, and pumpkin spice Nuts’ N More peanut butter. Honestly, what more could I ask for? I crave a healthy diet, I’m growing increasingly stronger, and I feel great. My body may not be losing the fat I want, and as a matter of fact, quite a few of my clothes seem to be fitting tighter, but when I consider the shape my body is taking, the progress I’ve made both mentally and overall personally, I’m so happy! I’m obviously going to keep my fat in check, and will be monitoring it, but this strength is such a boost in self-esteem; I’m loving it!

Week 7 Day 1

Today was a miserable day. We had to wake all too early, my girls didn’t even want to get up. The kids were tired from playing the night before, and yet games started at 9:00 a.m. with breakfast at 7:30 a.m. The poor kids. And to make it completely make it terrible the temperature was completely freezing, and it snowed, wet snow. The kids were tired, soaked, freezing, and the wind made it the worst it could get.

Our students actually made it to semi-finals. But we assured them that if they decided to quit, they would not be letting us down. I mean the weather condition was about the worst it could get. But our kids were troopers, playing through injuries, sliding on the ground, and shivering all the while. Until it got to a point that two of our good players couldn’t run anymore, and they finally understood they would not be letting us down if they quit. So they forfeited, and came inside. Some of the kids even had skin that was turning purple. I sent them immediately to warm up in sauna that was in the locker rooms. The kids were completely done and it wasn’t worth it anymore.

After the kids finished packing up and left, I actually ended up staying at a friend’s house because our staff had meetings in the same location the next day, so it wasn’t worth driving home for the night then driving back. Of course, this was just another day I didn’t see my husband, but we both rather I be safe, especially with the snow on the road.

I had an excellent night with my friend. Of course, those handy meals were still super helpful. But I did splurge and went out for supper with my friend to a restaurant I had never been to before. I had a salad and some Greek appetizers that I split with her. It was very, very good. But I did notice how full I felt afterwards. A little too full.

My friend had not been at the gym in quite awhile, and so I volunteered to go and train her. I didn’t get much of my own workout done, unfortunately, but I was able to show her many exercises for the different body parts so that she could know of some things to do while I was gone. I had so much fun training her!

I thought I had gone to bed at a fairly decent time, until her husband came home. I’ve known them both since high school, so of course I had to say hello to him. I didn’t quite expect it to turn into a few hours of talking about football, but it did. And so it was another very late night.

Some People Call It Crazy…

Sometimes I just have to sit back and think and realize what it is I do. Sometimes this can be good, sometimes it’s not so good. But today I want to bring up one of those good things in hopes that you’ll also realize a reflection of something good about yourself.

Today I realized that I am driven by passion.

It is normal for me to be up early in the morning. It is normal for me to get up, do dishes, do laundry, make my lunch/breakfast, and get ready for work. Of course, this means getting up at least an hour earlier than I need to, but I do it because I know that gives me time to accomplish things that won’t take away from my time with my husband and also provides him with the things he needs for the day.

But what I’ve really noticed, was that I also am willing to lose sleep over other things I’m passionate about as well. Last night, I didn’t come home from the gym until 12:30 a.m. My husband wasn’t with me, he didn’t force me to go even though I was tired, but I have goals and I have a vision of where I want to be in the gym, and that’s what got me to the gym and through my workout.

I also got up even earlier this morning in order to take care of my home businesses, to catch up with people that were sampling the products, or who would like to place orders. I am passionate about the things I sell, and that drives me.

Sometimes this means I run on very little sleep. Between the gym, cleaning and keeping the house (or at least trying to), spending a little time with my dogs, time with my husband, taking care of my teaching position, my students, and my two home businesses as well as keeping up with family since they all live far away, it takes a lot of time. I’ve also recently agreed to personal train a friend of mine and volunteered to sing at church once in awhile. By the time I add all of this together, I have literally no time. But what drives me through this sleepless, packed moments, is passion, and that’s something I’ve come to realize. Without a healthy mix of passion, support, God’s grace, and love, what I do would not be possible. I am very thankful that it is.

So what is your passion? What drives you to do the things you do?

A Childish Lesson We Can All Benefit From

If you were like me, you always accompanied your parents to church. You were always told that Jesus loves you, even singing the very song. As you got a little older, you were told to always stand up for Jesus, stand up for your beliefs. You are told to fight your temptations, to say “No” in the face of Satan, to constantly ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”.

I didn’t go through this next stage, but I watched many of my friends, many of the people I knew go through this next stage, and that was the rebellion. Friends that were tired of being told the same things over and over again. People that felt forced into religion, not accepting Christ as their own Heavenly Father. This stage unfortunately can last a little too long, especially with the wrong guidance and relationships at this time.

I am thankful to say that quite a number of my friends who started in the church have returned to the church. Although they may have deviated for awhile, the verse holds true. Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”.

Sometimes I look at little children and admire their naivety; their ability to know black and white what is wrong. The kids who are EXCITED to go to visit Jesus in His house that they’ve learned He’s preparing for us. Kids are excited about Jesus, excited about His miracles, excited about getting to live with Him. What happened to us adults? Where did our excitement go? I don’t know about you, but I want to be excited about Jesus like that! I want to just look forward with absolute impatience of going to my Father’s house. I want to scream that I love Jesus from the top of my lungs while jumping on my bed (well, maybe I’m too old to jump on the bed… but still). I want to stand up for Jesus in the face of Satan no matter what! I want Satan to grow tired from my lack of response to his old tactics. I want to be an indestructible child of God, just as I watch the little children fearlessly love Jesus with all their hearts. Sometimes we need to learn from them!

Only For A Moment Of Time

Sometimes you will just never see it coming; the train that hits you without warning. The train that completely derails your life and your left lying there, asking yourself why: Why is this happening? Why didn’t I see it coming?

I have a second cousin (her first) that was born with a condition where his upper body would grow, but his lower body would not. It unfortunately meant that he spent his life in a wheelchair. Now, this didn’t seem to get him down, at least the times I was ever around him. He was almost always smiling, pretty cheerful towards life. He loved to sit and talk and would happily talk your ear off if you’d let him. I know my great aunt’s life changed when he entered it, but he was such an uplifting spirit in the family. You regular kid that liked to cause mischief when he could, only confined physically to his wheelchair.

I got a message from my mom this morning. Somehow, for reasons that no one is quite sure, we lost him last night. There were no warning signs. There were no impending health issues that we know of. He was not involved in any type of accident, and yet death came knocking at his door in a moment we never saw coming.

I can’t stop thinking about my great aunt. Living with her son, knowing his dependence for the last 30 years (forget his exact age), and basically moulding your life around his only to know that all of a sudden, he’s gone. The room that was fashioned on the first floor of her house for him is suddenly empty. The modifications made to her house for his accessibility are now going to be used by whom? I can’t imagine the devastating pain of losing someone who was ALWAYS there; someone you watched grow from that tiny cell in your womb to the man he had become and suddenly realizing that it’s gone. You can’t even rationalize with the thought that he had moved out like his two older siblings had, that was something he had never been able to do. This is real, and this is raw emotional pain, no excuses and no rationalizing.

I just can’t imagine. Having my life, all of a sudden, changed so drastically. All those little things that she had to change about her life, had to remember to do everyday, had become second nature to her, now probably seem to have no purpose. My biggest prayer is that she can find happiness in celebrating his life, celebrating the joy and the genuine time she was able to spend with her son. I pray that God’s loving arms embrace her every moment and she sees the little memories of him in her house each day. I pray that God holds His hands on her heart to hold it together when she catches herself doing one of those second-nature activities that she used to do for her son everyday and realizes she doesn’t have to do that anymore.

I know I’ve lost a cousin, but she’s lost so much more than that. Please pray for her in this situation. God always knows what is best and knows every step we are going to take in our lives, and the best part is, He PROMISES never to forsake us. Draw near to your loved ones and don’t waste a moment. Make every single moment of your life count because you have no idea when that fleeting moment of a train may be quietly steaming around the bend.

Lumosity.com… Have You Tried It?

Normally I only review books or cosmetic products. But this website is worth reviewing.

Lumosity.com. You see pictures about it, you see commercials about it, advertisements are everywhere. But does it really work? I mean, you play games and that’s supposed to be training your brain? Aren’t those the kinds of excuses kids use to play video games?

Well, I used to think these things as well, until I decided to try it out. I can honestly say, they are simply games. Games that you might find kids playing, some that kids might not want to play, but they are definitely games. And the best part is, it DOES train your brain!

The games focus on such skills as memory, focus, attention and more. They’ve recently began having you log how many hours of sleep you had the night before, as well as how you’re feeling. The difference I’ve found for myself is incredible. On days I feel miserable and haven’t slept very well, my brain power and scores significantly go down. On days I’m well rested and feel great, my scores are much better.

This stuff actually works. Whoever created Lumosity did a great job. I’ve been trying to use it every day and have noticed my memory getting better, my focus getting better, my ability to think has even become more clear.

If you haven’t tried it yet, do it now! You have the option of paying a small fee for access to all of the games, but you can get a fair amount for free. Follow the link and start maximizing your brain’s potential today:

lumosity.com