Day 12 – An Unplanned Write-Off

This morning I woke up so dehydrated! So right away, knowing I caused damage last night, I drank some water.

But problems started right at breakfast. I actually tried to sit down and eat this red papaya I had. I noticed it smelled a little funny when I cut it open, but went on to eat it anyways. The very first bite, I spit out within two seconds. I don’t know what happened to this papaya, so of course I went looking for something else. I didn’t really feel like eating after the awfulness of last night, but of course, I want that stuff out of my house, then rationalized that I couldn’t waste all that money, so I finished last night’s leftovers. Awful, terrible, don’t even want to talk about it. The biggest key to success is to not even bring it in the house. I’ve gotta learn!

At the gym, I went for a gruelling 35 minute stationary bike ride. I kept raising the difficulty every two minutes and it took so much work. I was so happy when I was finally finished the last 10 minutes. I was beginning to think I should lower the level, but I managed to stick it out! I was so thirsty and drank a ton of water when I was done. But I was happy.

I finished my workout with some lunge stretches, walking high kicks, and my chiropractor’s exercises. It felt good to get things done in the morning for sure.

I don’t even want to speak about my lunch, but to be accountable, I must. Remember those brownies from last night? Well, let’s just say they got finished, topped with some vegan coconut milk yogurt. I should have just eaten the yogurt, but I can officially say all the junk is out of my house again. I just feel awful and need to get to the point of throwing stuff out rather than risking my health, and not ordering it in the first place. It’s back on the proper mental train.

Or… let’s just add fuel to the fire. My husband and I eventually got ready and headed into town. We’re due for our weekly groceries, and he had no food to really eat left. So we stopped to get him food. Instead of not getting anything like I should have, I did make a vegan decision, but a bad decision as far as eating when I wasn’t hungry. I had a green onion cake, and I would have been just fine if I hadn’t had it. Ugh… The moral of all of this is just stop. Just don’t indulge in things you KNOW are going to make you feel awful. It starts a huge train wreck that you have to try and reset yourself from. Learn from my terrible, bloating, sick-feeling, stomach-turning mistakes. I have not done my job in taking care of my body.

So, I’d like to say the rest of the day finally went better. To some minor extent, it did. But honestly, I snacked on Veggie Chips, organic limeade, and that’s about it. I was going to make baked bananas, but found out I had forgotten I was out of tin foil.

Today was a bad day, and a prime example of why the avoidance of eating junk is so important. Because I ate so badly all day, I had huge cravings for candy tonight. That’s a sure sign that I did not eat enough fruit today (or any) and it’s just a wreck. I’m thinking of doing a completely raw couple of days to help flush out my system. Let’s see if I have the mental power to do it!

Week 10 Day 1

After last night’s little truck mishap, it was nice just to sleep until I felt like getting up. I felt pretty good, was doing some laundry, and cleaning of the house, but unfortunately was not able to do a whole lot because I had to finish grading/report cards. So I sat upstairs for several hours, finishing the remainder of work. It felt SO GOOD to get it all done.

After I finished, we quickly got ready and went out for groceries. We then came home, ate, and were getting ready to go to the gym. Right before we left, I went downstairs to change the load of laundry only to find out my basement flooded… again! This is the second time in two months since we’ve moved to this townhouse. That threw a huge monkey wrench in our plans as my house was still is a state of disaster, and when I report the flooding, they will come in my house (plumber and landlord) to see the damage. I could not let him see the three weeks of neglect in my house. So we spent almost two hours cleaning and straightening up the downstairs. The plumbing truck was actually going door-to-door as this was once again a manhole back-up, meaning he had to move the water along in the manhole, our basements would drain, and we would need the cleaning company to come kill all the bacteria tomorrow. What a mess. We went to the gym incredibly late.

Once at the gym, it didn’t take me long to realize that this weekend’s frustrations had got to me. My mind was defeated, my adrenaline all used up, my body tired, and my body literally was refusing to complete some things properly. My box jumps, for example, should have been between 6-7 levels high. My body absolutely refused. Not even once, whether I closed my eyes, whether I reset myself, whether I tried to do it without thinking, could I do the jump with both feet. The right one would go up, the left one would do back down to the floor. I struggled. I had to put the jump back down 3 levels, something that seems like a baby jump to me now, and even so, my body seemed like it was punishing me, making it seem way harder than I know it is.

When I was in the main part doing barbell preacher curls and resistance band preacher curls, my husband saw me struggling. He came over, simply gave me a hug, and apologized for all the things that have happened. I can’t say that it gave me superb motivation and energy after that, but it did help me to at least feel good enough to power through the rest of the workout and complete 12 minutes of HIIT after. This weekend just has not been my weekend, and I’m looking forward to a better day tomorrow.