Day 12 – An Unplanned Write-Off

This morning I woke up so dehydrated! So right away, knowing I caused damage last night, I drank some water.

But problems started right at breakfast. I actually tried to sit down and eat this red papaya I had. I noticed it smelled a little funny when I cut it open, but went on to eat it anyways. The very first bite, I spit out within two seconds. I don’t know what happened to this papaya, so of course I went looking for something else. I didn’t really feel like eating after the awfulness of last night, but of course, I want that stuff out of my house, then rationalized that I couldn’t waste all that money, so I finished last night’s leftovers. Awful, terrible, don’t even want to talk about it. The biggest key to success is to not even bring it in the house. I’ve gotta learn!

At the gym, I went for a gruelling 35 minute stationary bike ride. I kept raising the difficulty every two minutes and it took so much work. I was so happy when I was finally finished the last 10 minutes. I was beginning to think I should lower the level, but I managed to stick it out! I was so thirsty and drank a ton of water when I was done. But I was happy.

I finished my workout with some lunge stretches, walking high kicks, and my chiropractor’s exercises. It felt good to get things done in the morning for sure.

I don’t even want to speak about my lunch, but to be accountable, I must. Remember those brownies from last night? Well, let’s just say they got finished, topped with some vegan coconut milk yogurt. I should have just eaten the yogurt, but I can officially say all the junk is out of my house again. I just feel awful and need to get to the point of throwing stuff out rather than risking my health, and not ordering it in the first place. It’s back on the proper mental train.

Or… let’s just add fuel to the fire. My husband and I eventually got ready and headed into town. We’re due for our weekly groceries, and he had no food to really eat left. So we stopped to get him food. Instead of not getting anything like I should have, I did make a vegan decision, but a bad decision as far as eating when I wasn’t hungry. I had a green onion cake, and I would have been just fine if I hadn’t had it. Ugh… The moral of all of this is just stop. Just don’t indulge in things you KNOW are going to make you feel awful. It starts a huge train wreck that you have to try and reset yourself from. Learn from my terrible, bloating, sick-feeling, stomach-turning mistakes. I have not done my job in taking care of my body.

So, I’d like to say the rest of the day finally went better. To some minor extent, it did. But honestly, I snacked on Veggie Chips, organic limeade, and that’s about it. I was going to make baked bananas, but found out I had forgotten I was out of tin foil.

Today was a bad day, and a prime example of why the avoidance of eating junk is so important. Because I ate so badly all day, I had huge cravings for candy tonight. That’s a sure sign that I did not eat enough fruit today (or any) and it’s just a wreck. I’m thinking of doing a completely raw couple of days to help flush out my system. Let’s see if I have the mental power to do it!

When It All Takes An Interesting Turn…

I wrote last night about all the appointments I’ve been to lately and all the things I’m finding out. But I don’t think I was quite ready for this morning’s appointment. It took an interesting turn.

This morning was my first non-accident related physiotherapy appointment. I simply was going for assistance in my flexibility in the single direction of bending to touch my toes or sitting at a proper 90 degree angle. I can’t do it. I’ve been working on stretching and rolling for the last year or more and have seen no progress. In fact sometimes, I’ve regressed. So I’m doing what I can to get help.

The physiotherapist was very nice. She was actually a stand-in for whom will be my permanent therapist. What she found out is that I pivot around one certain spot on my lower back, that my hamstrings are incredibly tight which is unusual for someone of my age, that my right side is way worse than my left side, that my pelvis was a little twisted, as well as confirmed some of the same things that my chiropractor had already said. But the worse was something I had a problem dealing with, and it was this: Scoliosis.

When you hear just that word, it hits hard. Never in my life would I have ever thought I had a condition such as scoliosis. But what I really had to let sink in was that she said it was a SLIGHT scoliosis that may be fixable. Her assumption is that I have developed it and have not always had it, thus making it much less serious and much easier to fix.

The Physio did a lot of manual work, twist, popping, pressing, etc… It wasn’t the most comfortable thing I’ve ever had done, in fact it was quite painful at times. But it was then followed up with heat and shock therapy and I left with an exercise to practice to try and balance out my left and right side. I also have a request for x-rays of my entire back for her to examine.

Of course, by the time I went to my chiropractor appointment later on, my neck was a mess, my jaw area was a mess from the dental work the day before, but my lower back looked awesome; physio worked hard!

Sometimes we pass off little things as NOTHING. For my entire life, my mother and grandmother have been telling me to fix my posture, and I always hated gym class or much physical activity. I never started looking into health and fitness until university and only serious into fitness since my final year of university. That means I have years of bad posture and avoiding doctors and any problems I thought I may have and let them build on themselves to the point I am now.

Guys, get everything checked out. I mean, you can tell the difference between something that’s actually not right and something that probably isn’t that bad, but seriously, watch your body and judge appropriately. If something doesn’t seem right, go get it looked at. You never know what your ignorance may cause. My hope right now is that I really don’t have scoliosis or that if I do have it, that it can be reversed and maybe someday I’ll have the privilege to at least bend over and touch my toes or sit at a 90 degree angle. Yes, it’s something simple, but it’s something I’ve watched all of my family and so many other people do easily. I just want my body to move freely and I want to see progress. It’s so frustrating to go through so much discomfort, pushing yourself to just reach a little further and somedays being able to reach far less than you could the day before. It’s time to be fixed, and whether it’s scoliosis or not, I refuse to let that determine my reflection of myself. I’m determined to beat this, whatever it may be and I’m determined to do it the best I can with the help I need. No more avoiding doctors, no more avoiding things because of fear or pain. I’m going to get it done before it gets worse.

Do what you can people! Keep your body in the best shape you can because you only get one body, and you’re going to need it your entire life! And if you’ve got some time, send a little prayer that the doctors and I will figure out what’s really going on and be able to fix it.

Thanks guys. Hope you have a great weekend!