So Happy! It’s Been A Long Time Coming…

So yesterday was our second attempt at getting my husband’s permanent residency. Instead of being 1/2 hour early like last time, we were a full hour early. You would think there would have been less people, and though there may have been a little less, there were still quite a few people there. My thoughts were quite honestly: “How early do these people come in the morning?”

We were fortunate in the fact that almost every single one of those people were there to write their citizenship tests. We were actually the first ones in line for the immigration interview, which of course meant after the office finally opened and officers finally showed up to do interviews, we were the first ones called in.

It was nothing like what I had expected! We showed the officer our papers (receipts, passport, letter, pictures) and she asked us 3 questions each: Have you ever been asked to leave Canada? (My equivalent was where I was born), Do you have any dependents? and Have you been convicted of a crime in Canada? We only had the one incident where the border patrol and immigration didn’t agree when my husband was told he should leave by the border patrol but was told he never should have left by immigration, and I was a little worried about that. But I do know and firmly believe it is better to be honest than try to hide something. So I was anxious at this point to see what she would say which turned out to be nothing other than “So they asked you to leave and then asked you to come back?” Yup. That’s pretty much it.

She entered a lot of things into the computer, printed some papers, asked if we had any questions for her, signed some papers, was instructed on the steps from here, and was out of her office by 9:30 with proof of residency for my husband! Ahhhh!!!! For those of you who have been following our 2 1/2 year struggle with Immigration, this was such a happy day for us! He can’t leave the country yet as we still have to wait for his PR card to come in the mail, but that paper is proof and promise that it is coming and he can finally go see his family this summer. I’m so excited!!!

Week 5 Day 5: The Revelation

Sorry guys. I realized I had made a mistake and quickly changed it! Yesterday was not the revelation day, today was and somehow I mixed up the names! Sorry about that. It’s now fixed 🙂

So every Thursday at work, instead of a normal worship, we have “Thankful Thursdays” where we go around saying the appreciations we’ve had. It’s a great thing to do, and one of the things I reflected on was my class this year. Not that they are perfect, not that they are always easy, but that I’ve seen maturity in them, even in the way they accept their consequences. I am so proud of them and look forward to helping them the rest of this year.

Following worship, we went about the usual day but I was so happy to welcome them into my classroom this morning. And when they went to gym, I sat and reflected on something that completely dawned on me: I’ve been happy, truly happy. I don’t know why, I don’t really know anything about it other than I felt completely and totally happy. Can I just say WOW? What a feeling! To be honestly happy. It’s amazing. I know my food and workouts have been going great, I’ve been taking care of all the medical issues, there have been major improvements, my husband is working and hopefully we’ll get his FBI check soon so he can have residency soon, I’m still in debt, but I’m happy. And that says something!

The day went well. We were planning a surprise wedding shower for our principal and it went amazing! We had a million laughs, and come to find out, this was their only shower, and she had never been successfully surprised before! We did awesome!

Now of course you’re probably wondering about my food choices while at this shower. So here is what I did. I ate half of one of my meals before I went. I then allowed myself a small selection on a small plate. I normally would have tried some of everything, but I limited myself. I was hungry for seconds, but I only allowed myself a plate of veggies. I did very well! Though in hind sight, I would have been alright white a lot of those things. They didn’t even seem worth it. Way too much sugar after being without refined sugars. I will know better next time.

We also had a staff meeting afterwards which of course meant that it was a late work night. But I still made it to the gym and had an awesome workout! Tonight was a circuit of shoulders, arms, chest and abs followed by 12 minutes of HIIT.

And of course, here are my meals for the day:

Meal 1

I had to cook this one a little more at home. I like my meat well done. This is a potato mash with egg whites, steak and a tomato.

Meal 2

I ate this one before I could get a picture last time. Homemade hummus with carrots, celery and rice crackers.

Meal 3

A tuna salad wrap with apples. Absolutely yummy!

Meal 4

So apparently I ate this one before a picture was taken. Sorry! It was cottage cheese with cinnamon and a very fine chop of honeydew and cantaloupe.

Meal 5

I didn’t take a picture of this one because you saw it yesterday. But since I don’t eat pork, the other option was to have the same chicken salad I had yesterday. I was so happy to eat it again. Yum!

Week 1 Day 2

Currently I am writing to you as I finish my last meal for the day: greek yogurt with mango and blueberries, and egg whites. And believe it or not, it’s only 11:44! Haven’t hit that midnight mark yet! (Really, that is sad and something I need to work on. I’m not so good at getting to bed when I should…)

So today was a bit of a rough-to-good day. Let me explain what I mean.

I woke up so tired (lack of sleep problem again…). But I got up, managed to do a load of dishes, put away some clean laundry, shower, walk the dogs, feed my animals, throw food in a bag, get out the door and manage to only make it a few minutes late to work. This actually was awful for me because I’m NEVER late. I’m one of those people that hates to be late for anything. Trust me, this won’t be repeated anytime soon.

The day seemed to go alright, of course with lots to do both for work and home. But what I really want to focus on is the affect food can have on you and what a mix of food and stress did to me today.

Most of you have followed my problems with the government and my husband’s permanent residency. Well, today I wrote in many details in an earlier blog post about my experience today. But to summarize, I had a bad phone call with the government. Not in any trouble or anything, but it ended in huge stress and high anxiety. Now, mix that with the fact that I had been so busy I wasn’t watching how long it had been since I had eaten the previous meal. So my blood sugars were low, my anxiety and stress was high, and I almost had a meltdown.

I’m not normally a person to have a meltdown incase you’re wondering. I’m the optimistic problem-solver. But not at that moment. And the thing is, I know it also had to do with the food because immediately after the phone call, I took a few minutes to try and calm myself down, and then decided to forget all work for a few minutes and get my food ready: sweet potato, cottage cheese and cubed turkey. I may not have felt better about the stress for quite some time, but immediately I could tell a difference with the food. It made me feel more capable, more stable, definitely better.

So I continued my day, absolutely ready for a nap after work. There was simply too much stress associated with that phone call and the surrounding situation.

I did some errands after work, came home, and took a nap. I wasn’t ready to get up when my husband woke me up, but after rising and eating, I was feeling alright. Then I got to the gym and started feeling great. Amazing how that happens.

Now as far as the workout, it was great (minus the burpees). I hate burpees. I don’t know what it is about them, but I feel so uncoordinated like my legs are too long and get in my way. And I may have learned that balance while doing these is super important as I put too much pressure on my already injured wrist which caused me to crash to my knees. Oops. But I can assure you that by the last round of burpees, my form had improved incredibly. I’m trying to heal that wrist, not make it worse!

How I felt when I looked at the workout routine for tonight…

The workout again was a circuit style which I have found to be difficult in the gym when you require certain machines. But it is not impossible.

So I’m waiting currently waiting for that frozen mango and some of those frozen blueberries to thaw a little more before I can finish eating my yogurt. Then I will be getting ready for bed and sleeping the remainder of the night away.

Hope you all have an awesome and healthy night!

I Have A Confession: It’s Not Always That Easy…

So it’s true. I have a confession to make.

I feel as if I come across as very positive, and if I do, that’s my goal. I honestly try super hard to look for the positive in everything. That’s just who I am. I know there is usually a positive side to everything or at least a way through every tough situation. I know that. I’m naturally optimistic. I also am aware of that. And even though I’m really good at showing my optimistic side, I have to admit, it’s not always that easy.

I’m looking at today as an example. It has been weeks since I found out that the government lost my husband’s FBI report. I was mad for a couple days, got over it, and realized we do have enough time to apply for another one because he was at least issued his work permit. But I had never had the chance to call them myself until today.

For starters, there’s always a wait time on the phone. And I was using a spare at work to call so my anxiety was raising a little that they wouldn’t answer by the time my students came back.

Then, I explained my situation quickly to which the guy questioned me as if I was crazy. This didn’t help.

And on top of it all, not only did I wait, got questioned as if I had no idea what I was talking about, I got told he couldn’t do anything without speaking to my husband and he has to be here with me if I am to talk. All of that for nothing.

And after I hung up the phone (the guy offered no apology or anything and said a very quick good-bye), I realized that I had been optimistic about talking to them myself and at least figuring out what went wrong even if we had to apply again. But quite pointedly, my optimism was nothing short of dashed and I was left in a mess of anxiety and completely upset.

You know, it’s one thing to know that everything is going to be ok, because it is. I know it will be, one way or another. But I have to tell myself it’s also ok to BE in that moment, to feel what I feel. I mean, this is something that my entire heart is woven into. This whole process has cost us so much money and time and has tested our faith and strength so much. Then to hear that the man was totally unwilling to help me and not even feel bad about it? For an optimistic person like me, that’s hard to handle.

I’m a problem solver. I’m used to figuring out my own problems, my friends problems, and my students problems. That’s what I do. And to have a problem that means so much to me personally unsolved and nothing I can do about it, that’s almost heart shattering.

The thing is, I’m ok now. But at that moment, I almost had a meltdown. Mix the stress of wondering how his residency is ever going to be done, let alone the thought of citizenship afterwards. Mix that with the 20 children I’m responsible for all day. Mix that with the table full of 4+ hours worth of grading that I need to do. Mix that with the mass amount of paperwork I have to do before the end of the month to meet government deadlines for education. Sometimes it honestly gets too hard to handle.

And that’s what I want you guys to know. I do hope you gain happy influences from my blog; that you learn to hopefully see God’s hands even in the worst of things. But I don’t want to be fake; I want you to know that I’m human and sometimes life does get too much for me in the moment. I know I will pull through, I know God will carry me when I need it, but it’s ok to admit you have too much going on or too much in your head. Breaking down is a way of dealing with all of those emotions you carry, and that’s perfectly ok. Take a walk, watch a show, exercise, or lay down and listen to music. Do what it takes for you to get through that moment because when that moment has passed, however long it takes, you will be able to deal with it later or at least have the mental clarity to get the help you need. You can do it.

So there I go. Now you guys know. Life really isn’t all rainbows and butterflies but much more a cartoon strip of repeatedly falling and getting back up on your feet. The main point is not the falling, it’s about the getting back up. As long as you can do that, you’ve already won the battles you will face.

Just Enough

Patience. Often something we lack. I’m not talking about the kind of patience where you take deep breaths when you’re struggling with something or waiting for someone who is running late. I’m talking patience when you’re waiting for an answer to something and it never seems to come. That’s the patience I’m talking about.

This whole immigration thing with my husband frustrates me to no end. Now they’ve lost his FBI record that took us almost 3 months to get. I know they had it because I sent it in the same envelope as the Work Permit application. He got his work permit, meaning they got the FBI record. Yet they don’t have any record of it? I have a funny feeling I’m going to be waiting more than another 3 months… 

But this whole situation really got me thinking. What if for right now, the work permit is enough? What about those nasty snow storms we had last winter, and yet we had a vehicle that sporadically ran. But wasn’t that enough to get us through all the days we desperately needed a car? It was a pain to have my basement flood and the endless disgust that came with the duties of pumping it all out, but wasn’t it contained just enough to not destroy many expensive things? I hate my washer and dryer. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the washer blows up one day. But isn’t it just enough that I have a washer and dryer that I didn’t have to pay for and that get the job done for now? My husband may not have his residency yet which does put some of our plans and decisions on hold. But isn’t it just enough that he does get to be here with me and can legally work? And maybe the time they told him to leave the country and then said he shouldn’t have left the country, and then got stopped at the border for two hours almost to not be let in the country, wasn’t that enough that they at least let him through the border with a visitor visa? 

Funny enough, as coincidental as this is, I’m currently sitting in the car, my husband has just come out from looking at other vehicle options, and our car won’t start. And I’m not quite frankly sure how this is going to end. But the one thing I do know is that it is just enough that I have options.

It is just enough that we can ask someone to boost us and hopefully that will work. It is just enough that if necessary, I pay yearly for AMA coverage which includes a few tows if I need them. It is just enough that I even have a car that has gotten me around this long. It is just enough that although we couldn’t do it for long, we do have the money to pay for a taxi to go home. And it is just enough to know that we were already planning on another vehicle – although we were hoping for it to be a second vehicle – so that if need be, we can get another vehicle fast. 

Praise God that He knows what we need and gives us JUST ENOUGH ❤

I’m not going to stay long because I do need to be with my husband at this frustrating moment. But I write to you so that you know, even if things don’t quite turn out the way you want or the way you expect, God will provide you with just enough to get through whatever it is, and just enough to keep you going. 

Sometimes everything we think we need is so far from what we actually need, and that’s where trusting in God and being patient upon His answers can be so hard. But I challenge you today. Look at the things He’s given you that are just enough, and go from there.