Week 6 Day 4

I finally got it last night on the treadmill. I finally thought up a few examples that really showed me things that were very difficult to forgive, but I have forgiven. As I reviewed my list, I realized these things hurt me more than they have ever made me angry. I narrowed my list to four things as I only wanted to summarize yesterday’s topic before presenting what I had prepared for today. My list consisted of the following: My father did not attend my high school nor my university graduations, my sister almost died due to the doctor’s mistake of putting latex elastics (of which she’s allergic to) in her mouth following jaw surgery causing her to near death, my friends burned down my family’s camp in a drunken stupor one Halloween night which contained years of memories that will never be replaced since my family was in the middle of renewing the insurance, and finally, the one that is still able to make me cry at any moment, is the fact that my grandfather died when an impatient driver went to pass a semi-truck and ran head into my grandparents’ vehicle coming in the opposite direction. Four extremely difficult situations I had to go through.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, these things cause me sadness, but I don’t hold grudges against the people who were guilty. And here is what I figured out:

1. My life philosophy: Hate what the person did, but don’t hate the person. The truth of the matter is, if sin did not exist, the person would not have done what they did. God did not design us to be this way, but we all sin because of the fall in the Garden of Eden. When Jesus returns, sin will no longer exist. Therefore, just as we reflect on ourselves being sinful, hate the sin but not the person.

2. Allowing someone to suffer what we choose to be consequences for what they’ve done is a method of passing judgement. We are not the ultimate judge. Yes, Earth has judges for major sins that are here so that hopefully less sin will be created, but who are we to gossip about those who have made mistakes against us? We cannot claim to be the judge that God is, and thus should not carry out such punishments.

3. I thought of the story in John 8 where the people brought forth the prostitute expecting Jesus to agree that she should be stoned. However, Jesus responded in a way they didn’t expect, and that was that whoever had not sinned should be the first to cast a stone. Yet, nobody could because everyone had sinned. In this same way, how are we to again, punish others in such a way yet expect forgiveness for when we do something?

4. In a way, Jesus became the person you are upset at. Jesus did not just die for one person’s sins, He died for ALL of humanity’s sins. Think about that. In order to truly die on the cross for us, He had to essentially become all the bad things that we are. He became the bad in all of us. And I thought if I were to see the face of Jesus in the person I’m upset at, would I really be able to stay upset? This is a hard one to think of…

With that being said, I quickly summarized and prayed that those ideas would stick for anyone having difficulties with forgiveness. I then proceeded to continue with my topic for today.

Today’s School Spirit Week day was Tacky Day. Quite frankly, I hate this day. I don’t find “fun” in dressing tacky. But I do it to support my students. So tacky it was. When trying to think of a topic associated with dressing tacky, it quite easily came to me that the topic should be on how life can get messy. And I had a great personal story about this that I was given permission to share, and that was on my step-sister, Natalie.

Natalie was a child with a free spirit that did not easily get along with my dad. Quite understandably, it is hard for a man to come into your life that in a way seems to be taking place of your dad. I can completely relate to that. But she was encouraged by her true father to move out early. She moved out with her boyfriend at the young age of 15. She then proceeded to get involved with drugs which eventually led to many (I believe up to 15) times of being in and out of rehab. Then, the fearful happened. She became pregnant.

During her pregnancy, she seemed to come clean. She moved back in with her mom and my dad, and although there were still some arguments between my dad and her, she seemed to be doing alright. Several months later, twin boys emerged. They were premature, but healthy. I sing my praises to God that those boys were and still are healthy. So many things could have happened. But as they were now born and she fed from a bottle, it was becoming noticeable that she drank.

One Christmas break, my sister and I were at our dad’s, and our step-mom noticed she was getting an alcoholic drink. And so, my step-mom locked up the alcohol in her bedroom. What came next, none of us were prepared for. She went ballistic. She was pounding on the door, screaming that it was unfair, that they should allow her to drink, and finally that she was going to get her babies and they were going to leave. This got so out of hand that it got to the point, the almost unbearable point for my step-mom, that the babies were in danger and the police needed to be called. Keep in mind, my poor dad is running three things at the same time: apologizing and trying to lighten the mood for my sister and I, trying to console and counsel my step-mom, and keeping my step-sister and her babies in the house while keeping unwanted people out.

When the police came, they gave her the option of going upstairs to say good-bye to her babies. She fought and fought them until they eventually and literally dragged her out of the house. If only I could share with you the nightmare. I have never heard someone scream and yell like I heard her scream and yell that night. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was being stabbed to death. The awful things she was yelling at her mother would definitely be carried for a long time. That’s when I really knew what addictions could do.

She was released the next day, and I expected that when she called, she would at least ask how her babies were. But do you want to know the ONLY question she asked? When her mom could come get her and take her to get her Methodone shot. No joke. I was in shock. To care about a drug replacement shot to help with her previous addictions over the care of her own children.

Later, she did move out into her own apartment with her children, but by that Friday, my dad and step-mom had the boys over for a sleep-over that they would never return from. She was not using her finances for the true care of her children but rather to feed her addictions, and so learned that she could live on her own again while visiting her children as they were kept at my dad’s.

As much as I’d like to say that she got the help she needed, I can’t. I can remember a conversation we had late one night where she was telling me that the worst thing for her was realizing that she had no dreams left. She used to want to be an actress, to be all of these big things in her life. But she realized that her addictions have drained all of these hopes, all of these goals and dreams out of her, and she had nothing left. Perhaps this was one of the most painful realizations for her. Because one night, in winter, I received a phone call from my dad. His voice was shaky, and he sounded as if he was ready to cry. As much as Natalie and him fought, she was still a huge part of his life as his step-daughter. And I believe this is what made it so difficult that the police had shown up on their doorstep the night before asking them to come and confirm the identification of the body they had found under a bridge. Upon investigation, they had come to believe that she had jumped off the bridge as there was only one set of footprints in the snow that led to the railing and thus leading to the body below. What a hard thing to accept. After years and years of drug abuse, of alcohol abuse, and of accepting that you have nothing left to live for in life, I can only imagine the pain she must have been in. She knew that rehab wouldn’t help because it hadn’t in the past. She couldn’t seem to escape the relationship abuses from men, the fact that she couldn’t find the help she needed nor the inability to escape the addictions that had control over her. This was nothing short of terrible.

Of course, the following fear came that child services would take the boys away. But my dad and step-mother fought for custody of the boys and thankfully were awarded it. And to this day, they are doing the best they can while parenting as grandparents. They boys are doing so well, I’m happy to report. But one day, and my father has talked to me about this, he knows the boys will ask where their mother is, and why they don’t have one like all of the other kids. And he fears that conversation. He fears revisiting and telling them that their father has never wanted anything to do with them and that their mother was so involved with such horrible things that she couldn’t take care of them and eventually couldn’t even take care of herself. What a hard conversation to have with children. I can’t even imagine.

I asked the other teachers and staff to think about the children we have difficulties with, to think of the things we don’t know about in their home lives, the burdens they carry to school each day. Because sometimes, it only takes one family member to make life messy for everyone else. And when especially dealing with children, those background messes need to be considered.

I had to rush through this worship a little as you can probably imagine as it got a little long. But I left people crying and with deep thoughts. Because the truth is, sometimes life sucks. Life can be unfair. The devil is at work so much in our lives, trying to tear us away from our Father who loves us, and unfortunately he uses things like drugs and alcohol that have a way of hooking us and can be very difficult to get away from. Things like drugs and alcohol have a way of consuming people and making the gift of life that God has given us seem pointless. And unfortunately, I see the devil in much of Natalie’s life, laughing and smiling at her misery. And yet in the same scene, I see tears running down Jesus’ face as He watches the destruction of His daughter, the one He loves more than anything. It’s a sad scene, not an easy one to grasp and still not the easiest one to talk about. But as my father said, it’s important to use these stories to help prevent others from making the same mistakes and if this story will help someone, then it is worth talking about.

I didn’t workout today as it was a rest day, but I do hope that you reflect on this, especially if you or someone you know is suffering with addictions. Addictions are something so incredibly unfortunate and cause so much pain to everyone. Take intervention now. Pray that the God of healing, the God that has already defeated all evil in this world will help you overcome. Because there is no power greater than God’s.

Would You Be Interested?

I’m thinking about starting up an 8ish week health/fitness challenge. It would focus on forming positive habits, assessing your current habits, working on eating better, and slowly integrating fitness. It would be open for absolutely anyone and everyone. 

So my only question is: Would you be interested? 

Leave a message below if you’d like to take this journey with me!

Sometimes I Get Stuck…

I will not waiver in my faith. I know what God has done for me and for the people around me, and I will never deny that. But there is one question that I will never know the answer to and will never create a satisfying-enough answer for some people. And that is the question of: “If God is Love, then why does He allow bad things to happen when He has the power to stop it?”

The truth is that I have no idea. I could tell you that everything happens for a reason (which I firmly believe it does). But what is the reason in the situation at the time? I am not always sure.

I could tell you that it’s God’s way of showing us a lesson. But I’m not sure this is always true, though I do know we can usually gain some sort of insight in even the most difficult situation.

I could tell you that it’s not God, it’s the devil and God has given us freewill to do as we choose, and thus we unfortunately suffer from other peoples’ decisions. Well, sometimes people end up in situations they don’t deserve (such as a disease after being healthy their whole life). Or what about the people that God does step in and save?

See, the truth cannot be truer than the fact that I don’t know. I don’t know the answer. I myself sometimes don’t understand why some things happen that do. But I do know that God suffers with us, that God hates the pain and suffering just as much as we do, that God readily cries from the pain just like we do. And that is a God that shows love. That is a good that does not allow things to happen for no reason. That is a good that I choose to put my faith in, even in the hardest of times. For I know that one day, He promises to tell us the reasons. He promises to tell us why we have gone through what we have, and if we are faithful for going through all things with Him, He promises to reward us and call us home.

How do you respond to that question? What do you do to make sure your faith does not waiver even in the hardest of times?

You Have To Ask Yourself This!

Hello everyone,

I saw this question last night, and it hit me, bang on! If this question had been posed to me, I would have only had one answer, and still do. Here is the question:

Honestly, if you care about your body at all, and the only change is not getting rid of something but simply replacing it with something better, how could you say no? Normal coffee is dehydrating, acidic, causes a caffeine crash, etc… And yet OG has infused coffee with ganoderma and it completely erases all of these negative things! And not only does it erase them, but it actually ADDS health benefits such as increased energy, better immunity, HYDRATES, lowers blood pressure, etc… The list of health benefits goes on and on. And with OG, you can get paid to drink coffee. No joke. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done and got paid to do.

So I want you to ask yourself this morning, why would I continue down a path that is not making me any better when there is an opportunity set before me where I don’t have to get rid of anything, I don’t have to change any habits, but I simply change the product in which I drink? Why damage my body when I can benefit it? Why do I sit and drink what the majority of the world drinks when I could be drinking something that only 1% of coffee drinkers worldwide have been drinking and feeling the most amazing of their lives?

The thing is, OG is a newer company, but the results have been astounding. I could tell you stories of people I’ve personally talked to that have been able to remove medications (blood pressure pills, morphine for pain) just because of drinking OG daily. I could tell you stories of the man who was able to get rid of his oxygen tank because of drinking OG products. I could tell you of the energetic people they have become because of OG. I could tell you so many things and give you a million reasons why OG coffee, tea, and other gourmet products are the way to go. And the best part is, coffee has no limits! OG is in 33 countries!!

So ask yourself, what is really stopping me from being in the healthiest state of my life? What is stopping me from trying to get rid of daily medications or pains like the people stated before? Why am I suffering when I could be happier? And why am I not trying this product today?

Message me and I will have your free samples sent out by the end of the week. This is not something you’re going to want to miss. Take the chance, make the change, and see the way your life becomes better!

The Easiest Business in the WORLD

Tonight was SUCH a good night. And something you NEED to know about.

Financial burden has been a slight problem for the past couple years. My husband has been unable to work (since he’s American). So the responsibility has been on me. He feels horrible about it, but I keep reminding him to be patient and wait. The good news is, he should be cleared soon and they’ve FINALLY allowed him to even apply for an open work permit. We’re getting close!!

To assist myself during these times, I started my Mary Kay business which has been good. Not to mention I love getting the products for wholesale price. I absolutely love Mary Kay products and will promote them to everyone. They actually WORK and are an excellent quality.

But recently, I’ve also started my Organo Gold business which is what I would like to focus on tonight. This is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

I had scheduled a Google Hangout with someone who’s doing very well in the company (been around a little longer than me). He gave me some great tips and filled me in on some questions I had. We made plans, I felt good, got off the computer.

I knew I had an Organo delivery coming, so I thought ahead of time to prepare my information and my samples to ask the delivery man if he drank coffee.

The buzzer to our building goes to my phone, and so when it rang, I quickly answered, grab my prepared items, and met him at the door. We had a very quick conversation about the fire trucks that were here yesterday (he had attempted delivery but was blocked by the fire trucks so had to come back today), and then I asked if he drank coffee. He replied yes, and when I asked if he wanted to sample some, he said he couldn’t say no. I handed him my information and a coffee sample, and we both went away happy.

I returned to my apartment, and I have a message in my Inbox on Facebook. A lady that I had given a green tea sample to had messaged and simply said that after drinking the green tea I gave her, she can’t even be bothered to drink the tea she has in her house. Of course this led to a conversation about meeting up because she needed some green tea.

Ladies and gentlemen, how easy is that? This company literally is nothing more than giving people samples of your product, and the product literally speaks for itself. All I did was ask a question and hand over a sample. Nothing more to it. The business itself is easy, the profits are good, the commissions are good, and at the very bottom of it all, you are actually helping others by getting rid of the acidity coffee, and replacing it with something that is so healthy for you. And the taste is amazing!

If you’re looking for something easy, something that is international (I think we’re in 14 countries at the moment, but they’re working on gaining more as we speak), and something that will either give you a little extra financial uplift, or even a retirement fund or a substantial living profit, this is the opportunity.

The slogan of Organo Gold is this: It’s Easy, It’s Simple, It’s Coffee

The company truly lives up to it’s slogan. Message me if you’d like to know more about the company or even the products. This is an opportunity you don’t want to miss.

How Hard Are You Willing To Work For It?

I absolutely love this picture:

What is the significance of this picture you might ask? Well, diamonds, those expensive things we get in jewelry took many, many years to grow. They grew because of the pressure demands under the soil. Soil, which is basically nothing, waste to us, with much pressure, makes a diamond, something so expensive and so desired.

What about your goals in life? You may think as even I have thought, “I’m nothing. I can’t really do it. I’m not like those people. I’ll never look that way. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough for that.” It’s a trap, a downward spiral that will keep you from getting where you’d like to be. Why not try harder. Work harder. Ask these people that seem to be successful. I can almost guarantee that at least 90% of the successful people didn’t get to where they are without some hard work. Now that isn’t to say that some people inherited part of their success, or came to be one of those people that were at the right place at the right time, but many of the people who started with nothing just like the dirt, and came out successful just like the diamond put in a lot of hard work just like the years of pressure.

The real question is: How hard are you willing to work for it? How much effort are you willing to put into it?

Something that I’ve learned about creating a great body, the kind I have in my mind, is I have to be willing to work for it. That means watching my food, avoiding the cheat foods, and putting my best effort into my workouts. If you don’t want to exercise and would rather eat fast food than cook food at home to save time, you are going to get that same quality back. How hard are you willing to work for that body you want?

Or what about working a business? I work two businesses that I completely love the products. I would never work a business on products I don’t believe in. But if I really want to profit from these businesses, I have to put the work into them. If I don’t talk to people and don’t advertise, how are people ever supposed to buy from me? I’ve got to put the work in for it ever to get any productivity.

So take a moment, think of the things you’re working on, the goals that you have. And ask yourself: “How hard am I willing to work for it?”

This Will Make You Think!

I have a habit (whether good or bad) of checking my Newsfeed on my Facebook quite frequently. I mostly skim through things, but every once in awhile, something grabs my attention. Today it was a quote:

Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.

Wow. What a new definition of faith.

I stopped and started thinking about all the things I’m going through right now, the things that I may question “WHY” to, the things that don’t make sense to me. I truly believe that humanity is widely scared of the future because the future to us is the unknown. A lot of us get settled in the comfortable and are scared of changing for fear of the unknown. Or I’ve met people who are scared of being settled for also their fear of the unknown. We don’t take risks because we fear would could happen. The unknown outright scares us.

To add to that, the events we add the two questions to: “IF….” and “Why…?”. How many times have I asked myself the “if” question, let alone the “why” question. It is not unusual for a really big decision to come my way, and it actually take a month for my nerves to calm when I can see the benefits of a change. One example of this was moving. We have had problems at our current apartment, and quite frankly have outgrown it. Yet I was more comfortable staying at a place for almost 2 years that wasn’t right because I knew how to handle it. It was a comfortable place for me. And yet an opportunity came for a better place. A place that was bigger, that hopefully has no or at least less problems when we do go view it before moving in, and I freaked out. The thought of finding time to pack, finding time to clean my apartment, the finances involved with moving, the budget I have in my head if we move, whether I’ll actually like the neighbourhood, a million “IF” questions.

Or consider the “why” question. During this ONE month, I am tackling designing and researching and gathering and the process of going live with a new website for my school. As the new communications rep for the school, that also included creating, updating, and maintaining a school Facebook, a school Twitter, as well as my own classes Edmodo. Not only that, but I am still heavily studying and doing assignments for my two college courses while also full-time teaching. Not only that, my mother is coming to visit this week, which of course would be the weekend before my provincial evaluation which can either secure my career or end it. Not only that, the amount of prep work that goes into a provincial evaluation is insane. Not only that, I do try to have a home life with my husband and our dogs. Not only that, we haven’t had a functioning washing machine in our apartment for nearly 8 weeks of 2014 (currently it’s not working). Not only that, I have to try and find the time to pack up my apartment and clean if we can move before the end of the month. Not only that, but I refuse to give up my 6 day a week visits to the gym because sometimes I feel that’s the only thing keeping me sane. Not only that, but I try to upkeep with chores, dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc… as I believe a wife should. Not only that, but I’ve seemed to become a sort of school counsellors for many students that have questions about God and life. Not only that… and the list could go on. And sometimes, when the load catches up to me, I sit back and ask the dreaded question, “Why? Why do I have to be so busy? Why am I the one so many people depend on? Why can’t I ever have a nice vacation like other people do? Why?”

I know my questions may seem trivial. I mean, people everyday question why family members have to get sick. Why someone close had to die. Why you’ve just lost your job, your house, your health, your mobility. And yet these are all good questions, questions that I believe we may never get the answer to until the day comes when we meet God face-to-face.

But God promises, whether in this life on Earth, or when God returns, we will know the answers, and it will ALL make sense. I don’t see God as just a man sitting on His throne watching the world be destroyed. I do believe that God allows things to happen for reasons we may not know. But I do know that God knows the future, and God knows us. There is a reason for your question, there is a security in knowing that God already has the answers for your “IF” questions, your “WHY” questions. We just need to have faith that someday, in hindsight, it will all make sense to us.

Put your life in God’s hands, and know that those hands are stronger than anything Satan or this world can throw at you. God loves you and someday, you’ll understand.