Patience–I Know It’s Hard!

Patience. A word we all know. A word that we’ve been told countless times, “Patience is a virtue”. Patience. But are we really that great at being patient people? I know that I like to think that most of the time I am. But I definitely know as soon as I’m in a situation where I want the answer or I want the result NOW, I am no longer patient.

The biggest reason this word resonates with me today, is because of the dog training I’ve been doing. As I mentioned in a previous post, when teaching a new trick or a new command, you must patiently wait for the dog to figure it out. If you have a treat, the dog will want the treat and want to do what is necessary to get the treat. If you truly have the respect of your dog, the dog will try to do what it takes to please you. All you have to be is patient.

Training dogs has been a touch-and-go process. Some things are improving daily, and some things seem a little inconsistent. Especially, when my one dog, Dwight, the eldest at 3 years and the father to the puppies, is probably the most stubborn. Yesterday, I simply tried to get him to repeat a new command, “Down”, which he completed twice the day before. How long did I wait? I think around… 7 minutes. Seriously… patience. 

Now this is something that was not always natural to me. I’ve gone through a lot of life changes since the day I was born, so change was something I had no choice but to adapt to. And with change ALWAYS comes a little extra patience. Since I’m the eldest of four children in our family, 15 years between me and the youngest, I had the opportunity to practice A LOT of patience with my siblings. For quite awhile, my step-dad worked away from home, which also meant that I became another parent in the family. And I’m sure most of you know, with parenting, comes a LOT of patience.

And of course, I cannot credit enough to my career as a teacher. I think it’s incredibly difficult for someone to try your patience more than a student who doesn’t care, a student who doesn’t even want to be where his parents are making him be. That’s a true test of patience. As much as teachers are known to have “eyes” on the back of their heads, sometimes I wonder if students also have extra eyes to know just when to catch a teacher off-guard. I love my students, and I love being a teacher. But each and every day that I’m at school, I remind myself to stay in check, and be patient.

Now I looked up what the Bible had to say about patience, and it’s pretty amazing. 

Proverbs 25:15 struck me strongly. It says:
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Wow… that is pretty incredible! Patience has enough strength and power to persuade the most un-persuadable. Just like patience can teach a dog to do a trick and even figure it out on its own. Just by you being patient! Just like a stubborn student or child, sometimes all it takes is patience and the learning process will happen, the wrongs can be corrected, and things can be solved. All with the use of patience!

Colossians 3:12 says:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Wow. God even told us to be clothed in patience. It’s His instructions that we are patient people. Are we the stubborn children not listening to our Father?

And 1 Timothy 1:16 says:
But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

Not just patience this time, but immense patience. Patience like nothing we’ve ever known was displayed in Christ Jesus for us to take example from. 

Now believe me, I know it’s easier said than done, most things are. But just make a conscious effort everyday to try and practice patience. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. When you feel yourself getting angry or heated up about something, take a minute, turn around, take a deep breath, calm yourself down, and try again. Remember the power in patience and the good that it can do in so may situations. You may never be perfect, nor should you ever expect yourself to be. You are human, but what matters is that you try. You can do it, I believe in you!

Reassurance and the Unknown Factor

I cannot tell you how badly it disappoints me when my students make bad choices. As I was saying in an earlier post, teachers who do not have children of their own, often consider their students to be much like their children. We want the best for these children, and we want them to grow into magnificent people. And when a time presents itself where our students have done the opposite of what we’ve tried so hard to teach them, we take it personally. It really is one of the hardest things we have to deal with.

Of course my students have the usual problems of talking in class, not realizing that some arguments are really about the tiniest of things, not being able to solve problems without help, and learning to deal with “living” in a tiny, small 4-walled room with 21 other bodies, 4 days a week. When space lacks, the problems increase. But all of these things, I expect. They are “NORMAL”. They are part of growing up and learning how to deal with the world around you. I get that.

But last week, I was given some information from concerned students about some illegal activities that were going on outside of school. Generally speaking, schools cannot do a whole lot in these situations, and I’m sad to say that a lot of teachers would probably prefer not to deal with it. It did not rest with me. I was so disappointed, so hurt. I was going to do what it took to save these students before their life continued down that road. 

When you make decisions to do something, let me just tell you how incredibly amazing it is to have a principal that will support you and back you up. She has been on board with all of my decisions (as long as they were well-founded and well thought out). But in this particular occasion, she saw my struggle. In fact, we have a running joke. If I enter her office with my “Help me!” expression look on my face, she tells me to walk right back out and never come back. Seriously, you need a relationship like that.

So in this particular situation, she actually took control. The authorities were involved, and it was painful for me to see what my students had to go through. I hurt for them; for the choices they had made, for the consequences they would have to endure. But I knew I had to do it if I had any hope of making a change. And so it was done.

On the day they faced their consequences, I cried. Several times. I most certainly questioned whether I had actually done the right thing. And when they came back to the school, especially the one was really torn up. We had a Science Fair that day, and he simply crawled under the table and read a book until the judges came around. He didn’t want to talk to his friends, just wanted to be in his own world until he had to come out and face the rest of us.

It drove me crazy. I did not know whether he would ever talk to me again, whether I had lost his trust forever, etc. The “unknown factor” loomed over me like a dark cloud, but there was not much I could do. I had to let him know that what he had done was not ok, and that the discipline could not be taken away. And yet, when we all headed back to the classroom, I simply gave him a side hug and asked if he was ok. All he could say to me is “yeah”. 

So many times in life, I know I question whether I’m doing the right thing, whether I’m making the best decision, and sadly, I don’t think we’ll ever know that answer sometimes. Sometimes you just have to weigh the options, take a risk, and hope for the best. But no matter what you do, stand behind your decision 100%. But don’t ever be afraid to admit you’re wrong either. If you are, admit it. People will see that you are real. Humans make mistakes, whether we like it or not. But be real about it. People will respect that about you more than any falsehood you put on.

So later that evening, the parents were able to come to the Science Fair to look at the projects and to hear the judges announce the winners. I had met up with a friend that I hadn’t seen in years, and as I was catching up with her, that one boy walked over to me. He didn’t interrupt me, and didn’t say much when I turned my attention towards him. But 3 times that evening, he simply came over just to stand by me. Now, how is that for reassurance. It didn’t take words, it didn’t take explanations, but it quite loudly spoke of his feeling of safety and caring that I gave for him. He didn’t hate me like I had feared, he didn’t begrudge me for what I had done, but instead came to stand by me to let me know everything was ok. 

Ha, you think you’re over crying, and you relive the moment. Let the tears roll!

I love my students. There is no other way to put it. I care for those children more than they will ever know. As much as I can, I will try to teach them how to be successful, how to deal with the hard things in life, how to be happy amidst so much pain, and how to become the responsible and amazing teens/adults that I know they can all become. It is my duty, my job, and my passion. It causes me to cry, it causes me to question myself, but it is these little moments that make everything ok and reignite my passion. Again, I love these kids.