Many of you know about my struggle, knowing that I have to get rid of a couple of my dogs for awhile. I dealt with anger, depression, and a series of mixed emotions for awhile. It’s been really hard. But through it all, I’ve learned something much better, much greater than the immediate situation at hand, and I’d like to tell you about that today.
I’ve always considered myself to be a Christian, though I can say I haven’t always been the strongest Christian. I’ve always believed in God, Heaven, and praying. My relationship with Christ has really gotten stronger since my senior year of high school, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Even though it felt like my world was being ripped apart, and I went through the thoughts of how many bad deals life has handed me, especially in the last couple years, how cowardly people can be, how my family won’t be the same, etc… I could easily tell you that God has a reason for this. I had no idea what it was, nor am I still certain I know, but I could easily tell you that, even though I didn’t necessarily feel good about it.
As the days have gone by, and my own thoughts of revenge were continuously being held in my head, I kept trying to focus on that same thought. God has a plan. God has a plan. God has a plan. I’ll be honest. Sometimes it was mere words and hard to believe. But as the days went on, I noticed a slight change in my mood.
Eventually, I realized, maybe this is my cue to leave where I live. I never wanted to move here in the first place. It was another unfortunate situation where I had already picked where I had wanted to go, was lied to, and put where my employers wanted me to be. Yes, I’ve learned a ton over my past two years here, but I don’t like the city. I will forever be a small-town girl. My husband doesn’t like the city. So why do we live here?
As I began searching other places, I began to notice restrictions depending on where we go if we planned to keep our whole family. It wasn’t as easy as I hoped it would be. Again, I don’t have a definite answer to this, but this whole experience has allowed me to see how truly unattached I am to where I live, how endless the possibilities could be if I’d step outside my comfort zone, to get out of the trap I feel like I’m in.
To be quite honest, my mood has improved quite a bit. I know God is trying to teach me something, though I may not know quite what it is yet. I don’t know the end results, but I know God does.
For a moment in my time, I considered just keeping them all anyways and fighting for my family, no matter what it took. But the more I concentrated on this thought, the more I had this feeling of making a mistake. I continued to pray about it, and realizing the feeling was only getting worse, decided I needed to do the best I could to remedy the situation. So the plan remained intact.
So here I sit today. Taking my girl to a vet visit, buying her the travelling things that she needs, and spending my last weekend I’ll have with her in awhile. She’ll be flying next week, but I have faith she’ll live with me again. My mother will take good care of her, and I will be searching hard to find the solution God has in place for me, the solution that will allow me to have all my babies at home with me in the place where they are loved beyond imagine.
Have you been holding onto something? Angry about an unfair situation? Take a minute to pray. Take a minute where you try to put away those feelings that you have, and think upon the fact that God has a purpose for this exact moment. Let go, and let God.
Calm in Christ and Fitness 