Sometimes you will just never see it coming; the train that hits you without warning. The train that completely derails your life and your left lying there, asking yourself why: Why is this happening? Why didn’t I see it coming?
I have a second cousin (her first) that was born with a condition where his upper body would grow, but his lower body would not. It unfortunately meant that he spent his life in a wheelchair. Now, this didn’t seem to get him down, at least the times I was ever around him. He was almost always smiling, pretty cheerful towards life. He loved to sit and talk and would happily talk your ear off if you’d let him. I know my great aunt’s life changed when he entered it, but he was such an uplifting spirit in the family. You regular kid that liked to cause mischief when he could, only confined physically to his wheelchair.
I got a message from my mom this morning. Somehow, for reasons that no one is quite sure, we lost him last night. There were no warning signs. There were no impending health issues that we know of. He was not involved in any type of accident, and yet death came knocking at his door in a moment we never saw coming.
I can’t stop thinking about my great aunt. Living with her son, knowing his dependence for the last 30 years (forget his exact age), and basically moulding your life around his only to know that all of a sudden, he’s gone. The room that was fashioned on the first floor of her house for him is suddenly empty. The modifications made to her house for his accessibility are now going to be used by whom? I can’t imagine the devastating pain of losing someone who was ALWAYS there; someone you watched grow from that tiny cell in your womb to the man he had become and suddenly realizing that it’s gone. You can’t even rationalize with the thought that he had moved out like his two older siblings had, that was something he had never been able to do. This is real, and this is raw emotional pain, no excuses and no rationalizing.
I just can’t imagine. Having my life, all of a sudden, changed so drastically. All those little things that she had to change about her life, had to remember to do everyday, had become second nature to her, now probably seem to have no purpose. My biggest prayer is that she can find happiness in celebrating his life, celebrating the joy and the genuine time she was able to spend with her son. I pray that God’s loving arms embrace her every moment and she sees the little memories of him in her house each day. I pray that God holds His hands on her heart to hold it together when she catches herself doing one of those second-nature activities that she used to do for her son everyday and realizes she doesn’t have to do that anymore.
I know I’ve lost a cousin, but she’s lost so much more than that. Please pray for her in this situation. God always knows what is best and knows every step we are going to take in our lives, and the best part is, He PROMISES never to forsake us. Draw near to your loved ones and don’t waste a moment. Make every single moment of your life count because you have no idea when that fleeting moment of a train may be quietly steaming around the bend.
Calm in Christ and Fitness 