Do You Ever Get That Feeling?

Hello everyone, last time I left you, I was incredibly sick. In fact, the sickest I had been in a very long time. I have so much to catch up on, so much to tell you. It’s funny how sometimes, life can hit you like bombs, one after the other, and before you know it, time has slipped through your fingers like sand. 

But what I’m here to ask you tonight is: Do you ever get that feeling? I’m talking about the feeling of excitement, of something that you’ve waited so long and prayed so hard for; the feeling of being overwhelmed with so much goodness at once; that almost sinking feeling of realizing you are on a timer, and that goodness can be stripped away if you don’t meet the requirements in time.

That is how I feel right now. As many of you know, my husband is American and we’ve been waiting for his papers to come back for almost a year. In June of last year, we were told he had to leave by an international border patrolman. So he did. I stayed with him in the states for over a month, until I had a wedding in Canada to attend, and then to see my family in Canada as well. I had thought he would be able to meet me again by the end of summer. I was wrong.

We were told that because he had no papers, there was no reason for him to be allowed back. And so the panic began. They had already taken me inside at the border on my way to the states for suspicion of me being a Canadian married to an American. They are not people to deal with. Our only hope was once again, trying to contact immigration to see if there was any status on the papers, and to see if there was anything that could be done to rush them. 

The funny thing about the whole situation was the answer I received when I finally made contact with immigration. I was told that the border patrolman was wrong in telling my husband he had to leave, and that I needed to get him back into the country. I was told he should be able to get back across the border with no problems, and that he should even be allowed to apply for a work permit! That was such an emotional high (after the 24 hours of anger subsided) and plans were made right away. And to think he could work! That was such an exciting moment.

The unexciting moment hit when my husband was stopped at the border for several hours. As you can imagine, a teacher, not moving an inch from her cell phone, checking it constantly, nervous and worrying about her husband making it back into the country. It had been months since I had seen him. 

Now, they did allow him to go through with the permission of a 1-year Visitor’s VISA. But here is the funny thing. The reason he was at the border for several hours was because they told him there really was no reason why they should let him across since he had no papers and definitely no way he could apply to work. I had even given my husband, beforehand, the name of the immigration agent I had talked to, his agent ID #, as well as his contact number, and the border guard did not care. The only reason he allowed my husband to go through is that the information he pulled up on the computer, the details my husband was telling him, all seemed to match up and he took my husband for the honest man he is. 

Now about this whole thing, all I can say is “Praise God!”. I mean honestly… how many hurdles can there be? 

Now this feeling that I have came today. We still have had no sign or word of papers since then. You can try to call immigration, but with the event that happened in the Phillippines, the phones are steadily busy. It’s like an unfixable situation, and of course not knowing whether the papers will come before the VISA expires or not.

Today, I received an e-mail. I was approved as a sponsor. Now, this is not the WHOLE application, but at least part of it was approved and that is amazing! I was so thrilled! Step 1 of 2 was complete! It was at least progress! This evening, my husband opened his e-mail, and he had a letter as well! He qualifies for the permanent residency! Now tell me who’s jumping for joy! He can even qualify for a work permit! (A little ecstatic!!!) But the sinking feeling comes (and maybe it shouldn’t) with the fact that we have a deadline to get medical exams, security and background checks in to them or the whole application can be refused. *Sigh* I know they are not difficult to be done, but I must say, the one is making me nervous. Of course, his security/background check needs to come from the states, and he can’t go into the states or else he won’t be allowed back. I’m not sure how we’re going to accomplish this one, but I know somehow it will be done. I just need to do it… NOW.

At church today, the sermon was on fear, and how fear is not from God. In fact God gives us the power to overcome any fear. Fear has a way of interfering, or stepping-in between us and God, showing us what areas of our lives we don’t trust God enough to handle. I guess I needed that message today because right now, I’m fearful; fearful that something will go wrong, after I’ve put endless hours into the paperwork, into recruiting the information the government has required, into being positive and patient about the whole situation, being separated from my husband for no other reason than misinformation, and prayed harder for this than almost anything. To have it all right here, in my clasp after all this time, I don’t know what I’d do if something went wrong. And that is why I need to realize, I’m not trusting God in this situation. I NEED to put my worry away, and trust that God will make the arrangements, God will allow situations to be as needed, and what I have been asking for will finally be given to me, now, in God’s time. I love the God I serve, and I know He loves and is very patient with me. My battle is not over yet, but with God, it is already won. Here’s to having a working, PR husband soon! May God’s blessings continue!